In this solo episode of the How to Live in Denmark podcast, host Kay Xander Mellish explores why Denmark repeatedly tops global happiness rankings despite a relatively high per‑capita use of antidepressants. Mellish uses the cultural figure of Donald Duck (Anders And) to illustrate a Danish self‑ironic, low‑expectation mindset that embraces failure and celebrates it with traditions like the kvægbejer (failure beer). She links this attitude to Denmark’s historical experience of repeated territorial loss and agricultural hardship, arguing that Danes have turned disappointment into humor and modesty. The episode also discusses Danes’ inward‑focused lifestyle—prioritising family, home, and quality over status symbols—and how this reduces external pressure. Mellish questions the validity of happiness surveys, suggesting social desirability and a reluctance to admit dissatisfaction (as reflected in Denmark’s high antidepressant consumption) skew results. The podcast concludes with promotional information for her book, a free event, and social media channels.
Chapters
Hello and welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. Whenever I hear that Denmark is the happiest country in the world, I think of Donald Duck. Donald Duck is extremely popular in Denmark, as he is in all Nordic countries. He's much more popular than Mickey Mouse. He even has his own Danish name, Anders And, which means basically Anders the Duck. Now, I don't know how much you know about Disney characters, but Donald Duck, or Anders Duck, is kind of a second-class citizen. While Mickey Mouse is the perfect gentleman— outgoing, take charge, the face of Disney— Donald is lazy. He likes to come up with clever ways to avoid work or avoid any exercise whatsoever. He's often short-tempered and jealous of Mickey. Donald Duck is an underdog, and Danes identify with the underdog. They identify with the idea of low expectations, And then being pleasantly surprised when things turn out well. This is the secret to Danish happiness. While Americans might identify with bright, shiny Mickey, there's a lot of room for disappointment if your bright, shiny plans don't work out the way you'd hoped. Danes are okay with dashed expectations, with disappointment. Denmark is a small country, often tossed around by rich countries. Denmark hasn't won a war in more than 400 years, and during that time they've lost a lot of territory— parts of Sweden, parts of Germany, all of Norway. And Denmark has long been an agricultural country in a tough climate, with crops that sometimes succeed and sometimes fail. The Denmark we know now is hip and green and confident, but 100 to 200 years ago Denmark was one of the poorest countries in Europe. So given their history, Danes have turned this repeated disappointment into a form of humor called self-irony, the ability to make fun of yourself. For example, there's an old tradition called the kvægbejer, or failure beer. When you've made a big mistake or made a big fool of yourself, you treat the people who saw you make the mistake to a pint of beer. For example, I read in an interview with one of Denmark's great young ballet stars, Albin Leindorf, that he'd fallen down during practice while trying to do a tricky pirouette. That evening, he bought kvægbejer—failure beer—for all the other dancers who had witnessed his fall. Now, in many Asian countries, if you make a mistake, you lose face. It's—it's very embarrassing. You'll do anything you can to hide it. In Denmark, if you fail, you're expected to not just admit it, but pretend to celebrate it. It shows you don't take yourself too seriously— self-irony— that you don't think you're better than anyone else. And that is very, very Danish. The ability to make mistakes is one thing that makes Danes happy. Acceptance of failures, particularly small failures, takes the pressure off. Another reason Danes are happy is that they live internally, not externally. There's not much of a need to present a front to the world since in Denmark the people whose opinions you care about are people who already know you, you know, your friends and your family. So there's no reason to wear expensive watches or designer clothing because there's no point in impressing a bunch of strangers. The Danes like quality but not labels. When they do spend money on designer goods, it's almost always housewares and home goods. The home and family and friends within it is really the focus of their energy. Now, I could go on listing some of the other things that make Danes happy, like happy childhoods with little fear and little competition, the comfort of a strong social safety net. But I run up against a wall here, which is that Danes are the 4th biggest consumers of antidepressants per capita in the developed world, according to the OECD. Iceland, Australia, and Canada were the top 3. Now, clearly, some people in Denmark are not happy— about 1 out of 10, based on those statistics. So why does Denmark constantly come out as the world's happiest country on those mysterious surveys done by places like the University of Warwick? I think it's because, on some level, it's embarrassing for Danes to admit that they're not content with their lives. It's a little bit like my home country, the USA, where no one wants to admit that they're not successful. If they're 50 years old, unemployed, and living in their parents' basement, many Americans would still say, well, I'm successful in my own way. Ask a Dane if he's happy, if he's content, and he'll probably say yes. To say you're not happy suggests that you think you deserve something better than what you have. Something better than what the people around you have. To say you're not happy implies that you have higher expectations than others about what you deserve from life. And that, my friends, is in no way Danish. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. The print version of the How to Live in Denmark book will be delivered this week. If you'd like one for holiday giving, send me a mail at k, K-A-Y, at howtoliveindenmark.com. You can pay with PayPal or mobile pay. If you're in Sønderborg this week, come and join us for a free How to Live in Denmark event on Thursday, November 20th at 7 PM. You can get the address at howtoliveindenmark.com. Meanwhile, everyone else, follow us on howtoliveindenmark.com or on our How to Live in Denmark Facebook page or at How2LiveInDK on Twitter. The 2 is a number. See you next week!
