Gossip and Scandal in Denmark

Hello and welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. Denmark was in the world media this week because our prime minister, Helle Thorning-Schmidt took a selfie with Barack Obama and Britain's David Cameron at the funeral of Nelson Mandela in South Africa. Now, it's no surprise when Helle conducts herself like a schoolgirl on a class trip. She did the same thing last year when she spotted Sex and the City actress Sarah Jessica Parker on the street and rushed after her crying, hey, I'm the Prime Minister of Denmark! Now, the talk this week was all about whether the convivial conversation almost flirting, between Helle and Barack Obama had embarrassed Barack Obama's wife, Michelle. No one ever suggested that Helle was behaving in a way that might embarrass her husband. That's because Danish politicians don't have sex scandals. French politicians have sex scandals. American politicians have sex scandals. Danish politicians have tax scandals. They could be bedding down every night with a chimpanzee and the Danish media wouldn't touch it. What the Danish public cares about is, are these guys paying every crown of their giant Danish taxes? Because I am, so they'd better be. Or did they or their spouse fail to meet the full non-residency requirement necessary to avoid the top tax on annual income? That was a real scandal, by the way. In general, Danes are not gossips, particularly about the sex lives of people they know. It's partly the Danish fetish for privacy, partly the basic acceptance of all things sexual, and partly the lack of naughty excitement about all things sexual, as I discussed in the podcast last week. Gossip is not really exchanged or enjoyed. A few years ago at a work party, I saw 2 co-workers who were married to other people Leave the party with their arms around each other. When I mentioned it to some other colleagues at lunch the next Monday, their sudden silence made it clear that they felt the person who was behaving inappropriately was me. But there are some people whom it's generally agreed it is okay to gossip about. These are the people who appear in the Danish weekly color tabloids sold at every supermarket and kiosk. One thing you should know about these magazines is that, unlike supermarket tabloids in the USA where I come from, you're not allowed to flip through them while you wait in line. You touch them, you buy them. But they're also available for your reading pleasure at pizza joints and hairdressers all over Denmark. Anyway, this set of people it's okay to gossip about is relatively small. We're talking about anchors on local news channels, football players and their girlfriends, the stars and judges of reality shows. In these weekly tabloids, they openly discuss their romances, or lack of them, their children, or lack of them, their beach vacations, and the hats and dresses they wear to galas. There are a surprising number of galas in Denmark. Nevertheless, it being a small country, you're bound to know some of these people personally sooner or later. I have an old friend who works for DR, the Danish public broadcaster, and while I was waiting in line at the supermarket to buy cat food, I found out she was getting divorced. Very interesting. But the real star of the weekly tabloids, and the foundation of all Danish gossip, is the Danish royal family. It's the world's longest-running soap opera, more than 1,000 years old and still going strong. There are lots of happy stories about the royal family in each weekly tabloid. Happy, happy, happy. They're spending family time together. They're going to galas. They are an inspiration to us all. Behind the happy family pictures, outside the tabloids, there is an entirely different undercurrent of royal gossip. Various princes are said to have different fathers than the officially announced candidates. Lots of examining family pictures there, comparing face shapes and eyebrows and noses and hairlines. There's also a long line of gossip about the Queen's husband and his supposed extracurricular activities. Now, the man's now nearly 80, but according to the rumor, the Queen has said she would abdicate if these down-low activities were ever disclosed. Another standard rumor is about the former Queen Ingrid. This queen's mother. Ingrid was supposedly a kleptomaniac. Supposedly she'd go through stores and people's homes picking up items and putting them in her purse, and then a lady-in-waiting would come after her and pay for everything. And then there's non-stop chatter about the sex lives of the younger royals. Are they as really as happily married as they pretend to be, or are they getting some on the side? Look, if the Danish royal family ever wanted to take the focus off their potential sex scandals, There's one easy way to do it. They could do something that royals in other countries do, and in fact most people in Denmark do, and even some Danish politicians do. They could pay taxes. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. This is our last podcast for 2013. I'm gonna take a couple weeks off at the end of the year, but you can visit our website at howtoliveindenmark.com where you can find all the podcasts from the previous year. This podcast is sponsored by KXM Group. We make you look good in English. Check us out at kxmgroup.dk. Music arranged by George Garvis. See you in 2014. Remember, the How to Live in Denmark book is available for download on amazon.com. You can read it on any phone or tablet. All you need is the Kindle app, and the Kindle app is free. 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