Sex and Denmark

Hi, and welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. There's a postcard you can buy at souvenir shops called The Perfect European. You've probably seen it somewhere. Last time I went through Kastrup Airport, there was a poster-sized version in the customs area. The postcard has been around since the 1980s, and it has several small cartoons illustrating each nationality within the 1980s EU and making a sarcastic remark about what it doesn't do best. It says, The Perfect European is as humorous as a German. The perfect European drives like the French. The perfect European is as humble as a Spaniard, as organized as a Greek, as calm as an Italian, and serves traditional British food. And according to the postcard, which I'll post on howtoliveindenmark.com, the perfect European is as discreet as a Dane. The little cartoon shows a blonde Danish man opening his raincoat to show off a lot of pictures of naked ladies. Now, what's that about, you might ask? Denmark was the first country in the world to legalize pornography in 1969, and for a while after that, it was the world's leading exporter of pornography. There was also a flourishing red light district in Copenhagen. And my grandmother, who was in her 80s when I moved here, was very upset when she heard this. She said to me, I didn't know you were moving to a sex town! Now fast forward 30 or 40 years. Copenhagen is no longer a world center of pornography. Like shipbuilding and painting blue flowers on plates, 2 other former Danish industries, it can all be done more cheaply elsewhere. But Denmark is still one of the most relaxed places in the world when it comes to nudity and sex. There are naked ladies in the daily newspaper, hardcore pornography on broadcast TV at midnight. Even prime time has a lot of naked bodies. At Danish swimming halls, everyone of the same gender showers nude out in the open. No towels, no partitions. You learn a lot about how the human body ages that way. There are also almost no taboos about sex. The age of consent in Denmark is 15. It's common for parents of teenage children to let boyfriends or girlfriends stay overnight. One-night stands are common, but not guaranteed, as some foreign men have found out to their disappointment. But people don't look down on women or men who are sexually active. Being gay in Denmark is no big thing, and In fact, it's so accepted that there's not really a gay community. There's no big repression for people to unite against. But the funny thing is, even though Denmark is very open about sex, it isn't very sexy. Everything's so accepted, so out in the open, so practical. There's none of that frisson of naughtiness, that sort of, oh, we shouldn't be doing this, but we are. So to get that romance, to get that pounding feeling of passion and raunchiness in a sexual culture where everything's allowed, Danes have one outlet. They cheat. They cheat on their partners. Now, whether it's more or less than any other country, I don't know, but Denmark is a society built on trust. So cheating on your partner is a way to possibly make your entire life fall apart. I stopped going to Danish movies for a while because there was a period in which every single one was about infidelity. Someone cheated on someone, there was an hour of deep discussion about their relationship, and then they broke up at the end. Roll credits. Look, infidelity creates a lot of hurt feelings, but the fact is modern Denmark is a society where you're protected in many ways. There's not much crime, not much violence. Very little homelessness or hunger. You're protected from unemployment by the Danish safety net. You're protected from poor health by the public health service. People in Denmark live practical, sensible, safe lives. One of the few ways you can throw caution to the wind and really take a risk is to cheat on your partner. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. This week's podcast is sponsored by the KXM Group. Check out our top ten mistakes Danes make in English at kxmgroup.dk. Music arranged by George Garvis. See you next week. Remember, the How to Live in Denmark book is available for download on amazon.com. You can read it on any phone or tablet. All you need is the Kindle app, and the Kindle app is free. The book's not free, but it's not very expensive either. If you read the book and enjoy it, please leave a review on your local version of amazon.com. It helps other people find the book and find the podcast.