Break Free from Patterns That Don’t Serve You

All right, let's talk about patterns that do not serve you anymore and how to actually break free from them. So welcome to today's episode. As some of you probably do every morning, you're probably like me, if I had to take a guess. You, when you wake up, you grab your phone, go to social media, and start scrolling. Well, here's the thing. 15 minutes go by, 30 minutes go by, 45 minutes go by, and all of a sudden, you are late to work. Kids are running around the house everywhere, and you're just, like, scrambling to get things done.

So here's the first pattern that I believe most people need a break free from. And I've come up with a little bit of strategies because I've had this addiction problem myself. Number one, I put my phone, like, downstairs. If I sleep upstairs, I put my phone downstairs. So I don't have access to it until I go and do a task that I need to do, meaning until I go to the gym. Then my reward is I get to touch my phone. Like, seriously. So I'll go to the gym. And I do have multiple phones. So this may. Or, I mean, you could do this, but some of you guys may be harder than not. So my real phone, I will keep down here, go to the gym with my fake phone that just has, like, music on it, and then I come back and I can grab my phone. That's one strategy. The other strategy is literally having the willpower not to scroll and taking off Instagram, Facebook, all the things off your cell phone completely. And the only way you can access it is through your desktop, so that you have to physically go in there and actually do a task and schedule it through, like, meta business suites. And that's the only way. Like, seriously, that might be a thing you have to do. Because what I hear from most of my clients is like, kelly, I don't have time. I don't have time. But the reality is we all have 24 hours in a day, every single one of us. Some people utilize them the most, and some people don't utilize them as much as they should. And I have found the things that are time suckers is actually scrolling on Instagram or Facebook or wherever they want to scroll. Tick, tock, learning, whatever. Okay, take it off your phone. Take it off your phone. This is the first pattern that you're gonna have to break. Like, literally when I realized that, I even just switched up my. My Instagram and Facebook on my phone. My finger. It's crazy. My finger would literally go to where the Facebook button or the Instagram button would be that's now not there. And it would want to hit it because that's how trained my brain is to just go. And whether or not you all realize it or not, you have a pattern that you do on your phone. You will literally go Facebook, Instagram, email, this email. Go high level. Well, like you will literally go through the slack. Like your hand just goes through the motion of it to just check that everything's done. Isn't that crazy? Like the technology is getting us. Like it's really getting us. And so you just have to be mindful of that. It's like, where is your time going? So the number one thing I do is I do an audit. I just audit my time and audit myself. Okay, so I woke up 5 o'. Clock. I woke up. Okay, then what did I do? Well, I woke up at five, but I didn't get out of bed until six o'. Clock. Okay, well, there's an hour right there of what the heck did I do during that time period? Oh. So I was scrolling. Okay, well, clearly I could get an hour back of my time if I just didn't scroll. Wow. You know what I could do in that hour to make money? You know what I can do in that hour to give back to my clients? You know what I can do in that hour to nourish myself? Wow. Okay. Which is why I put my phone out here and goes to the gym. Because that's self nourishing. Okay.

The other patterns that I tend to see, especially in females is a lot of like kind of ne. Negative talk, but not even realizing it. No, I can't do that. No, that's not for me. That's not who I am. That's for that other person. No, like, I can't do that.

Like the other day, guys and I. And I'm not, again, I'm not sitting on my high horse here saying, this is never me. It actually happened to me yesterday. I was at the beach. You know, in La Jolla, there's like, you know, crazy houses that are worth millions and millions of dollars. This house is probably 20 something million. And I see this guy sitting at his desk and he's overlooking the ocean and he had, he has ear pods in and like he's literally looking out so we could all see him. Okay. But his head's down and he's like hyper focused. And I was sitting there thinking because I was watching him. And I also took a picture with him in the background sitting at his desk.

Because my Mind immediately goes, you can never have that place. That's what my mind said. There's no way. You don't have the greatest idea. You don't have the best business. You're not inventing toilets or whatever it may be. That's life changing. Like literally this is what my mind says. And I'm like, but wait a minute, why can't that be me?

I don't have to have the best invention. I don't have to invent the bumper of a car, okay, that everyone has. But what I can do is show up truly, authentically me. And if people love it, great, people hate it, great.

But I can truly start living the life that fulfills me and fulfills my clients. And I could just see where that goes. But why can't that be me? Why can't it? I don't know what that guy did. And so in the moment when I did a reframe, I actually took out my phone and, and I took a picture with me, the guy sitting at his desk. He didn't see me because he was focused. And I took a picture of the house and it's now on the back of my phone. And it's a reminder that every single one of us, no matter whatever level you're at sometimes, that self doubt will always creep in. But you gotta remember and say, actually.

What have I done to prove that? Why not me?

And I remembered what I, what I, what I've done.

Said, why not me?

He's no one special, I guarantee you, even if I knocked on his door and said, hey, what do you do? He'd probably have a very interesting job, you know.

And so my point to this is.

To be at a high level and compete, I put that in quotation marks and compete at a high level.

And things that I've learned from these billionaires that I've hired as my mentors, okay, I have learned that they are no different than any of us. Not one single one of us. Actually most of them have, have had an insane amount of struggles. I would say 99% of them come from no money. So they didn't get any help from their parents, okay. And they came from belief, passion and a mission. That's it. Of just purely wanting to help. So I would also be cognizant, like I would be very aware is if you're just doing this for the money, you're only going to get this far. But if you're doing it for the passion, the purpose, the mindset, like the. Not even the mindset, the Mission to help people, you're gonna get a lot further. And don't get me wrong, when you start a business, you are purely like, don't let anyone fool you on this. People are purely doing it for the money. But if you do that long term, it will not survive. If you do that for short term, okay. But if you do that long term and just think it's about the money, you will not survive. Your patience will slip. Smell it out, and they'll be like, no, this person's salesy. Get out of here.

And so it really, truly comes about the passion, the purpose and the mission. It's what it comes down to. And again, I've learned this from my mentors.

I remember Tony Robbins, when I saw him, he said, patterns are the most important thing to become wealthy and to have a massive company. And I was like, patterns? That's what you're going to tell me? Patterns?

And then I was like, he's right. Understanding and recognizing patterns in business cycles, understanding patterns with people, understanding patterns of what happens to build something great. And so you have to always start with yourself first. This is what I didn't get until literally this year. I've been in business now for like seven years. I didn't get. I just thought business was business. I didn't understand. The best thing that you can do is have patterns built into you. Meaning every single day, you getting up and going to the gym, no matter how you feel, no matter if it's raining outside, no matter if your phone's sitting next to you or not, you have to go to the gym, that is a pattern. If you stick with that, that's a good pattern. If you stick with that good pattern, you will be rewarded for that. Here's another pattern that you will be if you stick with eating healthier foods that give you energy, that is a pattern that over time will build up, build up, build up, build up, and it will give you freaking energy. That is a good pattern to stick with. If you get into a pattern of going out on the weekend, drinking alcohol, you know, trying to solve all your problems on the weekend and crying it away, that's probably a pattern that you need to get rid of. I don't drink alcohol because alcohol takes away energy from me. It just one sip of alcohol, like literally takes away energy. So I don't drink. It's not like a religious thing. I just don't drink. Now, don't get me wrong. In college, loved it. Okay, love some straight vodka shots. But I haven't, I haven't had a sip of alcohol probably in like five or six years. Ever since I became an entrepreneur, I learned that I had to shift my patterns. I couldn't go out like I used to because that will take away my energy. It's poison. It's literally poison. Okay.

So what other things, right? What other patterns are you recognizing in your life? Is it the toxic mom, the toxic sister, the toxic spouse? Do you let them come into your head? Is that a pattern that every week you let their. Their thoughts or their beliefs come into your head and. And that it gets stuck in your head like, yeah, I can't do this. They're right. The AI that's probably not going to ever be me.

Well, then how? My question is, how do you push them further away? How do you get them away so that doesn't keep you in the same pattern, and that's what you have to break free from. And, like, you have to, like, set boundaries with that. And that is so freaking hard. Especially if it's a spouse or a mother or. Or a sister or whatever. Like, that's so hard because it's family or an aunt that's just, like, talking your, like, bad stuff. But you got to get them out. You got to surround yourself with amazing people. So the patterns that you want to break is. I break. Break that with going on Facebook, trying to find groups that I align with and going to those groups and surrounding myself with people that align with my values and. And everything that I align with, because those people are going to be like, yeah, why can't you build a rocket ship? And I'm like, yeah, why can't I? It's slight delusion. However, the delusion is the thing that makes you keep going. Because if someone were to tell you how hard entrepreneurship is up front, none of us would sign up for it.

But if someone also, like, tried to describe the reward that you would get from it.

I wouldn't also believe them either.

Because the rewarded benefit is so much greater than all the hard, long days. It really, really is.

And so, guys, I need you to audit yourself and be like, what patterns are good for me and what patterns are bad for me? And like, whatever those patterns are, how can you just, like I said for, like, the scrolling thing, how can you shift that pattern to make it into where it's a positive? So again, I take away my phone. That's a positive. I'm not scrolling. I go to the gym. That's giving into myself, like, giving me energy. Great. And then my reward is you get the phone back to answer, you know, business stuff after the gym. Like that's a positive pattern shift and that's what most of you guys need. And then you'll be like, oh, crap, I do have time. Look at all this time I have.

That's what I'm talking about. Okay, so today I want you to think about, you know, what patterns you're gonna break free from and that don't serve you anymore. Whether or not it's people, things, things that you're doing and just say, you know what, I'm setting a boundary here. I'm, I'm done and I'm going to do it differently. And you may not be perfect at first, so just be mindful of that. But start to try, start to work out of that pattern and shift and shift out of it so that you know that it can be possible. All right, guys, till next time.