How to Manage It All as a Mom & Wife (Without Losing Your Freedom or Your Sanity)

Today I want to talk about how to manage it all. As a mother, as a business owner, and as a wife and just trying to survive and make sure you're taken care of. I want to talk about it all. I have found after four to five years of coaching now, that I work with so many moms that struggle to go through this transition. And here's the transition that I'm talking about. Number one, typically they are a wife. They are working at a place they don't like or maybe like, but just feel like they're steady, they're good, that's all that they should ask for, like, there's no really bigger desire or dreams because they feel like, I guess that's enough. I went to school, like, I'm good. And they have a spouse. They a lot of times have kids, typically younger kids, and they are just like, all right, like, this is my life. I go to work, I come home, I take care of my kids, I hang out with my kids, I cook them dinner, I clean the house. And then I get about an hour to myself at night, wake back up. And a lot of these moms are like, waking up, like five o' clock in the morning to work out, because that's the time that they have to do that. And they repeat the same cycle over and over and over again. And what ends up happening is they start to try to figure out that after years of doing this, that there has to be a different way, or that there's. There's gotta be something they're missing, or they start to question it and be like. Like, this just can't be it. And they start to think, in 15 years from now, in 20 years from now, am I still going to be a provider treating patients? Is that really what I'm going to be when my body's a little bit older? When, you know, like, am I still going to be doing the same thing? And I. I think this is an honest conversation that isn't brought up enough. And the reality is you should be telling yourself, no, that's not going to be the thing. And if you are, okay, good for you. But, like, you're probably not leveling yourself up or understanding your full potential because you're okay with just settling. And indirectly, you're telling yourself, I just want 5k a month because that's how much I made at my other job, and that's all I want. Because if I just say that's all I want and I get more or I get less, and, like, I'm not asking for much. Then hopefully more will come my way. But, like, that's not how it works. You actually need to set bigger goals and bigger dreams for yourself. You have to say, I want 10k a month. You have to say, I want time with my kids and, like, truly mean it. You have to say, I actually want a connection with my spouse. You actually have to say, I want to be present for me so that I can show up as the best version to my patients, to my family, to my spouse, and actually to myself. And you have to say this out loud. You have to write it down. You have to tell everyone. But the only way that this is possible is it all starts with you taking care of you first. And as a mother, as a woman, this is the hardest thing. I don't, you know, I'm a dog mom, guys, but I have struggled with this my entire adult life because I just want to give to other people. Like, I truly just have a giving, helping heart. And the biggest struggle that for me personally, that I struggle with honestly, is giving to myself over other people. And I know most. And I'm just being real honest and open. I know most people listening to this right now are probably in the same boat. Some of you guys are really good. Like, some of you guys are like, kelly, I'm up at 5am Taking care of myself. That's amazing. And you teach me your ways because most of us give to other people first before we give to ourselves. And that leads to complete burnout, complete resentment. You not showing up the version that you know you're meant to be or should be. And you. Everyone sees it, everyone feels it, and then you start repelling people, not even realizing that. Quick interruption. For those that have questions on today's episode, please text my personal number. It's 703-783-2388. I'd be happy to answer any questions that you have to get you unstuck. Let's get back to the episode. And that's the point that I don't want you to get to. I don't want you to get to the point where you hate your life. You're resentful of every single person, including the patients that come about. I don't want you to get there at all. And so when I coach people, I cannot say this enough. I don't just do business coaching. I coach you on life, on how to handle certain situations so that you can make it through and be able to work through this. And so going back on the path of where I see especially women in this journey of starting entrepreneurship. They. They. Then I have to coach them on how to actually leave their job. And a lot of times that's just backing down on hours. And so I have them back down on hours at their job. But it's super scary. I get it because they're like, but my family relies on my income. And it's like, I know, but if you just let go of, of like, 10, 15 hours here, I can move that over to the business or I can move that over to family time, which then is going to give you energy, which then you're going to be able to give back energy to yourself or your people or whatever it is. Right? The other thing, I don't. I don't think people realize if they have family close by, how can you get the grandparents to be like, hey, can you take the kids for a couple hours on a Saturday or on a Sunday or on a Monday? Like, is there any help that you can get there? And if not, this is where investing comes into play. If you pay a babysitter $20 now, I don't know how much they. They charge these days. Okay, but $20 an hour, or even 25. What activity can you do to help move the business forward? Why the kids are being taken care of. Now, I know a lot of you guys absolutely love your kids. I'm not saying don't hang out with your kids and put them with the babysitter all day long. But what I am saying is block off certain times where you can feel that you can move the business forward. Because ultimately with you, moving the business forward is actually going to give your family what they want and need, which is time and money. But if you don't do that, then you'll continuously be on the hamster wheel. And then you're going to say, this doesn't work for me. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. I'm not empowered enough. I don't feel like this is for me, because it's going to murder me. It's going to kill me. No, the reality is, it's just we're not doing it in a proficient way, and we haven't even audited where our time goes. We haven't even audited what's happening. And then also what can happen during this process of this is your spouse can start becoming resentful. As you guys know, I've been very open. My husband tends to not, you know, support my business decisions. And so, meaning, you know, he's come around, by the way. Okay. But like, at first he did not support this at all and thought I was crazy because we are losing money by me doing my own business. But how are we losing money when I created this empire that he couldn't even have dreamed of? We're not. But he couldn't see past that. And so I think that's a really big part is on one hand, it's okay if your spouse doesn't support you, but at least have someone that does. Whether or not that's a mother. For me, it's my mother. Or whether or not support network through a community with like, you know, mentorship or something like that, where you feel supported. And on the other hand, if your husband does support you and then all of a sudden the spouse has to start picking up like, you know, walking the dog and more and cleaning the house and doing laundry because you can't take that on because of the business. Just remember that it's a season and have an honest conversation with them and be like, hey, for the next three months, I need you to have my back a little bit more. And I need, I need these tasks that we have. You just write out all the tasks that you guys do, clean ditches, make, make lunch, whatever the things are, and then say, okay, you're going to do this, I'm going to do this, let's do this for the next month, let's see how things go. And if not, who can we enlist to help us with this, that we can pay that. It may not be a return right that second, but in a month from now we get a return plus some because we invested in either a babysitter, someone helping us out, a coach, like, whatever it may be, because that is the return, right? And so if you guys are like sitting here thinking, yes, I feel this, Kelly, like I am, this is like, this is what I feel like. I'm just. I feel stuck. I feel overwhelmed. I feel stuck. This is exactly what you're going to feel. If you're listening to this and you're in this situation, you're going to feel like you have no out. And then you're going to be like, effort. I'm giving it all up. Like, I can't do it. And then you stop. And you stopping is what is what your brain is saying to you to keep you comfortable. I don't want you to be comfortable. I can't have you comfortable. I need you uncomfortable because your brain is saying, oh, I gotta have stability, so let me stay at my job. But the reality is the job is the thing that's sucking the life out of you, it's actually the thing that's murdering you. It's the thing that's taking away all your energy. It's not the kids. It's not your husband. It's not anything. It's the job. And if you decide to let go of the job, which you 100% should in the right moment, okay, with the right coaching, okay, then it will only actually give you the benefit of what you're looking for. It really will. But there has to be massive belief that you can do it and that you actually want it and you actually want what you say you're wanting. That has to happen. And so I'm making this episode today for the people, the moms out there, the women out there that are struggling to have it all, to do it all, to. To want it all. Like, for me, those are the people that I absolutely love helping. Because the beautiful thing is you get to enhance yourself along the way and live your happiest, most fulfilled life instead of settling and being the 99% of people that just settle because they can't dream big enough, because they think if they just dream small, then they'll maybe kind of get that and they don't want to fail. So how dare they ask for that 10k salary, that 20k salary. Or how dare they say, you know what? I want every Thursday, Friday and Saturday off so I can spend time with my family and actually elevate my family and elevate my kids and. And pour into my kids to make sure that I'm an amazing role model for them. How dare they ask for that? How dare they ask for four vacations a freaking year? Because that's too scary. And so the brain is going to say, nope, stability, stability. Stay there. I need you all sprinting, sprinting to do your own thing. And if you're not sprinting, then you're just going to stay average. Why kill yourself to stay average? Why kill yourself to have a life that doesn't fulfill you at all realms? I'm not just talking about in business. That's not it. Why. So I'm begging you today, if you feel that you are on this hamster wheel or you feel that, that you're stuck, like, please reach out to me, like, literally, just as a girlfriend, as a girlfriend that just like, hey, I need advice. Okay? I promise you, I don't bite. I truly want to make impact. And so if you need help, I would love to help you and, and make you realize your true value. And that's it. Thanks so much for listening. And you guys can text me at any time. It truly is my number if you feel that you have questions or that you feel stuck. So text me at 703-783-2388. Text me at any time and I will respond. And yes, it is me. So hopefully we'll talk soon so we can get you unstuck. Thanks guys for joining and thank you Jane for sponsoring Pelby Biz Podcast. We can't thank you enough so that we can help more providers across the world. Thanks.