I Set Boundaries for 30 Days and Here's What Happened

The hidden power of actually setting boundaries. Most of us in healthcare, we have no boundaries because we got into healthcare because we actually want to help patients. And we give everything to our patients. And a lot of times they didn't teach us boundaries. I don't even know what the word boundary meant. And so I'm going to tell some personal stories today, and it's going to be very applicable to you. If you have trouble saying no to people, you don't feel like you have enough energy, if you feel like you're on the brink of burnout, this episode is for you. So let's get into it. So when I first started my business, I was actually a mobile physical therapist and I was traveling to people's homes. I would drive up to two hours to go see people. And basically as I started getting busier and busier, I realized I had to actually set a boundary. And that was super hard for me. And I would have to be like, no, I can't come see you anymore. You have to come to my house. And at that point, I was willing to risk whether or not they were going to stay on my schedule or not. And so there comes a decision. As you move through this entrepreneur journey or as you just move through life and your own personal boundaries, they're going to change. Your needs, wants and desires are going to change. When I started the business, I truly just wanted to help anyone anywhere, at any time of day. I would go to their house at like 9 o' clock at night. No joke. I literally had zero boundaries. The reason why is because the season that I was in is I had to make money so that I can get the business off the ground. And at the moment it was okay, but then long term, it became a hindrance, meaning it actually slowed down my progress because when they wanted me to still come to their house and, and I couldn't come to their house because I actually had patients now back to back to back in a clinic. Then it slowed my growth and I was, I had to put a boundary and say, no, I'm sorry, I have to lose you as a client if you do not want to come to the clinic. I had two major clients that really helped my growth at, in my brick and mortar. And ultimately we had to cut ties because I wasn't willing to go to their house and spend, you know, hours. They are treating their whole entire family because I put up a boundary. And that, that was so heartbreaking for me because I truly just wanted to help these families out. But I realized that what I was doing is when I was saying yes to them, I was actually saying no to myself. Meaning I was. I didn't eat then at night because I was working on them until 9 or 10 o' clock at night. I didn't see my spouse because I was clearly at their house and not my own house. So I miss out time with my own family. Uh, and so again, I didn't realize it at the time, but ultimately, whatever you say yes to is you're also saying no to something. There is always a sacrifice and entrepreneurship, which I don't think, I don't think people really understand it to its core. It's how much are you really willing to sacrifice? There's always a trade. There's not just like this passive income and then there's like, that just doesn't work. Like it's not a thing. Passive income to me is not a thing. There is things that you do that sacrifice. Okay, there's sacrifice, but it's. You're. There's always a trade. No matter how you want to spin it or say it or whatever else, there's always going to be a trade. And this is when boundaries actually come into play. A boundary to me is just what is the most important thing in your life or what's the most important thing for you in the moment or in the season that you want to protect the most? That is called a boundary. So when I think about boundaries, it's more about what's the most pressing thing that I really want to focus on, very intentionally, to make sure that I kind of protect. And again, what sacrifice? At what level am I willing to give up to then get whatever I'm trying to get? And so when I first started out this business and I was mobile again, I had no boundaries. And then as I started to grow, even just going from mobile to brick and mortar, I went from mobile to my house to then brick and mortar. I had to change the boundaries. And the only boundary that I set was, no, I'm not coming to your house. Other than that, I would still see patients even in my brick and mortar at any given time. I would see them at 7am and at 7pm and I was at the clinic seven days a week, seven days straight for like 12 hours, 13 hour days. And then doing laundry at home between like two hours to three hours a day, seven days a week. And because of that, I had no boundaries. My boundaries were work because that was the phase I was in. And I was willing to sacrifice in the time being to not, you know, I Didn't go shopping, I didn't go and hang out with anyone. Like, I was just in the clinic, head down focused, trying to reach the goal. Which is why I would say I was the fastest growing pelvic floor clinic to hit seven figures. Because I was just so hyper focused. I'm not saying that's the way to do it. I'm just saying I think that's why my path was so clear and direct, because I was so hyper focused on just building and nothing else. One offer, one build and just hit it until it worked. And that's really it. However, what I didn't realize in the process because my blinders were on and I was just hellbent on trying to make the company grow, is that I lost all boundaries. I gave up my health, I gave up, you know, time with my partner. I gave up time with my dog. I gave up time with my family. I gave up time with hanging out with friends. I gave up time traveling. I gave up everything for a season. Not for life, not forever, for a season, to be able to hyper focus and build something that ultimately I wanted to build to get me out of a situation so that I can become into a new era and be in a different situation. And so I think I didn't really realize what boundaries were until coming out of that intense season and understanding that it's more of an integration rather than like, I hate when people say work life balance. There is no work life balance ever, ever. You have to integrate. Meaning I believe this. Maybe you guys don't believe this, but this is what I believe. I believe that you have to be obsessed about what you do. You have to be obsessed. If you're not obsessed and you're just doing it for the money, it you're gonna hate it. You're gonna absolutely hate it and you will give up. If you're just doing it for the money, that's just. It doesn't work. That's what I've realized. The next thing is, besides the obsession, you also have to be obsessed about taking care of yourself, which really comes into play. And this is where I feel like, especially for women, we have such a hard time with boundaries, with this, because we are trying to take care of the kids, we're trying to take care of our patients, we're trying to take care of our spouses, making sure, you know, the house is clean, making sure everything is good to go. And we lose our boundary because there is no boundary. Because basically all we do all day long is look at our to do list and say, oh, did I get it done? Did I check it off? And if we didn't get it done then it's like, oh, I'm not good, so I gotta keep going. And the reality is that actually doesn't do us any good. And the first person that we should think about is actually ourself, which is super hard. Some of you guys are amazing at this and I admire that. But for most of us, this is super, super hard to focus on us because a, we have to look at ourselves and be like, yeah, I don't like this about me and I gotta change it. That's super hard. Guys, it's easier to fix other people's problems than looking at you in the mirror and saying, you know what, I gotta change this about me. That's hard. Or I gotta deal with this, right? That's super hard. Or you know, like, I gotta focus on getting my energy up. Like what female says that they normally are like, no, I just gotta make sure everyone's not dying. And this is where boundaries come into play is because you've got to focus on when you intentionally focus on you setting a goal for yourself. And I now believe after going through ups, downs, arounds and all the things, the more you can focus on yourself, the more everything else is going to grow and everyone's going to be happy. That's just the reality. Like, honestly, the more you can focus on yourself, I promise you, the more you can focus on yourself, the more everything will be at the level that you want it to be at everything. And this is when you have to decide when you're being asked, can you see another patient? No. There has to be a hard boundary. For me. My admin physically had to go in and block the schedule and take off my access because I was going to put another patient in there because I had no boundaries, I had no power, I had no willpower and so she had to physically do that. So maybe you need someone in your life that does that. Maybe you need something to where you play a game with yourself and you're like, I'm going to do these tasks and then here's my boundary, I'm going to go do something fun for me. Or maybe there's a non negotiable in your life where you're like, look, I have to go and work out. I don't care how I feel. Doesn't matter how you feel. Layla Hermosi says it's the best. She says f your feelings, does not matter how you feel. Follow the plan. That's exactly what she Sundays. And I 100% agree with that. Doesn't matter how you feel. Go and follow the plan. Because that ultimately is what's. Is what you're doing this for is the sacrifice up front to the gain on the back end. And there's always gonna be some level of sacrifice and then the boundaries are always going to switch, but there is going to be an outcome that you're going to be so happy with because you stuck with it and most people don't. And that's the beauty of this. So maybe the boundary is I don't start work until 9 o' clock during the day, like a.m. where from 7 to 9 is your self care time. Maybe that's the boundary. Maybe another boundary is like I started recently not taking my phone even up to my bedroom. Like I, I leave it actually downstairs. And I have multiple phones, so I don't touch that phone until I actually get back from the gym. Because if I have. This is how bad it is. The phone is crack, okay? It is literally crack. If I have the phone in my hand, which I have it right here, okay? If I have this phone in my hand, my finger, I'm not even kidding, literally goes to all the things that I need to check. Isn't that crazy? And I'm subconsciously not even aware of that until my finger is just doing the T. Like it's literally just doing the task on the phone without me, even subconsciously, without me even consciously thinking about it, but subconsciously it's doing it. Like, let me check my email, then let me go to Facebook, okay? Now let me go to Instagram, blah blah blah, and let me check all my messages. Let me check, go high level. Okay, great. Like I do all that without even thinking because my brain has been programmed because that's what I've been doing. And so if you guys are like me, which I know you are, okay, we have to do things differently. And it is so painful to leave my phone down here at 7 o' clock at night and being like, no, you have to get off of it. You can't touch it. That is so painful. It sounds like ridiculous, but it is. One of my biggest struggles is leaving the freaking phone, letting the phone go. Okay, maybe your boundary is like on every walk you go on, you have to leave the phone at home. Maybe that's your boundary. Okay, but you yourself is the only person that's truly going to be able to hold the boundary. Sure. You could have like an admin like mine that like blocked My schedule and removed access. That's the extreme. But. But like, it's really you and your willpower. And when you start, and this is the beauty of it, this is the whole point to the episode when you start really intentionally setting these boundaries and actually sticking to them. Because there's like a deeper why behind it. The deeper why for me leaving my phone down here is so that I can get better sleep and more restful sleep without going to bed, you know, working. My why is like, with setting a boundary of like, I work and then I go have fun. Like, that's also a boundary of mine. If I work hard, then I need to go have fun, like hard. Like, I have to go do like crazy things because I. I'm just, I'm kind of the extreme on both ends. I have to work hard, but then I also need to play hard. If I work hard and then like just go for a walk, that doesn't fill my energy and my void of like, of like, I gotta, I have to fulfill. I have to do things that are epic because that fulfills me. Like, different stuff. Meaning, like, I've got to go try stuff that I've never done before. Because that is exciting to me. Just like in business, I'm always seeking opportunities that I don't know anything about because it excites me. Most people that scare us to death and they're like, oh my God, I gotta do this for me. I'm always seeking discomfort. And I love that. Most people hate it, but I love it because it just, it lights me up, it keeps me going. It keeps the fire. It keeps the fire, guys. That's what keeps the fire. It's not part of this episode. But like, that's really what kind of keeps the fire. Now I just, I just realized that it like keeps me rejuvenated, you know. And so the point is, if you set the boundaries overall, like, for me, when I started setting my fitness boundaries of like, I need to go and work out every single morning, it's like a non negotiable. Then I actually realized I had more energy to give to my people. I had more energy to give my spouse. I had more energy to give to whoever I'm around. And I was happier. But if I don't go work out, I'm not as happy. I can tell you that. I get irritated then easier, right? Who wants to be irritated easier? All y' all are busy moms. You don't want to be irritated. Easy. You're gonna be like, yeah, my kids just like, Throw knives around the kitchen, it's fine, like whatever. Like, like you want to be unbothered, right? And this goes back to like when you have boundaries and you're able to hand handle more things with like, I call it emotional resilience. You have more emotional resilience, meaning that you're not popping off at people, meaning that you're able to handle things in a more level headed manner. And like you, you're gonna figure it out because you gave to yourself first. And I think when I hear the word boundaries, at least in my head, it's really just honoring yourself and your energy. And your energy is very finite. Like you have limited energy. And so if you don't protect that, then your energy is the thing that keeps you going. Then everything will tank, everything will fail, everything will go down. I've learned this, guys. I learned it when I had no boundaries. I literally just like crashed out. And I was like, everyone just leave me alone, please. And then I was like, shit, what am I doing? I love people. And then I started to change everything. I changed my life completely. I changed my lifestyle, changed my environment. I changed everything because I was like, this isn't who I am. I need boundaries. I'm not perfect by any means, okay? I'm still working on my boundaries. But boundaries are what is actually going to give you room and space for the energy that you want to put out in the universe and the things that actually matter. And a lot of times there has to be boundaries with people because people are the thing that take our energy. And maybe a family member, maybe a client, maybe whoever, but that's a lot of times. And that just really leads to expectation setting and making sure that expectations are very clear so that you can uphold boundaries and the clients are happy and you're happy and everyone's kumbaya. And so boundaries. I hated that word for the longest time. I still kind of don't like it. But boundaries are the thing that is actually going to make what you're looking to do worth it because you'll be happy and thankful in the process instead of feeling regretful, resentment and annoyed. So hopefully, guys, this helps today on boundary setting and making sure that you uphold your boundaries. And again, they can change, but making sure that you have a very clear vision on what your boundary is and what you're willing to tolerate and what you aren't and what energy you're willing to give and what energy you aren't. All right, guys, till the next one. Bye. Bye.