Is Your Leadership Approach DOOMED to Fail?

Are you really leading yourself? That's my question to you today. Are you truly leading yourself so that you can actually lead a team? This episode is for basically people that want to learn more about leadership and actually how to lead a team, whether or not that's online or in person. And I'm here to tell you today the biggest leadership hack is you must lead yourself first. And I know that's probably over utilized and over said and you don't really know what that means. And neither did I when I first heard that. I'm like, okay, lead yourself. Yeah, I wake up and I guide myself on what to do every single day. Is that leading myself? No. I didn't know truly what leading yourself meant. And I really didn't understand the extent until I started to create bigger teams online and in person. And trying to manage both teams was just crazy. And what I realized was I had no clue how to lead, even though I thought I was probably one of the best leaders. Wrong. I was not. And so I'm here to give you some tips and tricks on leadership and, and leadership actually starts with you changing first. So when it comes to business, business is truly like. I think people think of business as like sales and marketing and that's business. But business is leadership. Business is self development. Business is if you want to be in business, you have to be obsessed with change. You have to be obsessed with changing yourself. You have to be obsessed with doing hard things. You have to be obsessed with working on you. And there's so many things as a human that we can work on, how we communicate with people, how we talk, just that alone is huge. Like, what energy do we give people? Our appearance. Our appearance actually does matter. There is stats from Harvard that say this, that if you put makeup on, you have 30% more people are willing to watch your content and listen to you. Like, that is mind blowing. So us females, no, we can't really show up on social media with our hair in a bun. Like, you actually have to look cute for people to pay attention to you. I know I didn't make the rules, but that's just like really how it is these days. Leadership is showing up that mentally you're able to keep it together even when maybe your company is going down. But you can't walk in there and be like, I'm so pissed off. Like, the company's going down. You guys all suck. Like, that's not going to motivate anyone. So leadership is understanding, like what you want to say and what you're going to Actually say leadership is taking a moment to take a step back and being like, how do I present this differently? How, how do I rally my team to, to move forward? But all of this comes all from self development. If you don't know how to have emotional control when something is going awry in your business and you come in or you present online to your team and you're like, mother effer, like this freaking team's going down. You guys all suck. They'll quit that day. They're gonna be like, peace out, I'm so done with you. And you're gonna be like, well, what's going on? What's, what did I do wrong? And it's you, you're the problem. You. And it's because you don't have the emotional control to handle a team and to get them to be going in the right direction even when they're all, when it's all going south. You don't. Because that's a skill you don't have. You don't have the skill of having a hard communication. And I'm not saying I have this perfect guys, by the way. Hard, hard conversations are very hard for me. Very hard. Because I never ever, I always have amazing intent. I never ever want to hurt someone. I know I can come off strong, but my intent, I never ever want someone to feel bad and I don't want to hurt someone. And some. But at the same time you also have to tell like it is. And sometimes people can't handle that. And so it's not from a mean intent place, but it's being able to have a hard conversation where both parties feel like good about it and walk away. That is a massive skill set to have. Because when you're. The more hard conversations you have. I forgot who said this. Like the more hard conversations you have, the more you're just going to be better at business. I forgot who quoted that, but someone did. And it is actually very true. And so to me it comes down to leadership, comes down to you changing as a person. You're willing to honestly, you have to go to the gym every single day. You cannot skip it. That's how you actually build your energy. And even when I was at my lowest of lows and I was working seriously like 16 hour days with no breaks, like nothing for years I was like, I couldn't work out. There's no way I could work out because I don't even have energy to like even walk. I didn't, I was like so tired. And the reality is I Probably did, but I didn't recognize that I could do it in a way that wasn't like a hit workout. I could just go and maybe do some leg kicks to work my quads or do some like, you know, bench press things and work my arms and I'd be okay with that and my body would be okay with that and actually give me energy. So number one, you must work out. I would say if you want to be an amazing leader, you have to work out. Number two, you have to actually look good. And I know most of you guys are probably going to hate me on this, but it's actually the truth. I've studied it, I've seen it time and time and again. People purchase based on even just what you look like. It's just the fact I didn't make the rules up. Okay. You're going to have to be able to communicate so effectively with different communication styles. Whether or not that's verbal written with your expressions. Some of you guys are probably like me, where you're like, everything is shown on your face. You can't hide it. Yeah, that's me. Well, then you're going to have to work on your facial expressions. Okay. Some of you talk with your hands. This is me. Some of these videos even thought I was doing sign language because of how much I use my hands. But I think I'm just animated because I'm energy and I move my arms a lot. But some people take that as very. This hand movement can be very scary and sporadic and oh my God, she's going crazy. No, it's just my energy. So I may have to work on just putting my hands together and talking like this so it looks more polite and not as like that. Right. So those are things that you need to recognize. You have to do a self audit on. Yeah. How do you come across the people, how, how mentally or how mentally tough are you? Do you need to hire a therapist that's on board and onboard them to help get your head right every single week to stay in the game? Are you okay with, you know, taking some deep breaths and then moving forward? What does that look? So not only physical, you have to get mentally in shape, you have to have your diet. But I've also realized being a leader and this all goes under leadership. If you're like thinking, well, that's so separate, Kelly. It's completely the same. You have to have a diet that actually keeps your energy up. So you cannot go and drink alcohol because it tanks your energy. You will not be the best of the best leader to your team because you're gonna have lower energy. So the second that they start mouthing off or like something happens or whatever, you're gonna act and react in a way that you probably wouldn't have if you had more energy. So you cannot. Like, I look at everything based on energy. So your diet has a big factor. I don't drink alcohol. I haven't drinking alcohol in like four or five years. Okay. I have changed my diet completely. I have meals literally delivered for me so that I can just pop in the microwave or pop in the oven. Just eat it quickly. And it all is based on the co. Carb protein, whatever the other thing is. Carb protein. What is it? Carb protein. Let's get the one. I don't know. Whatever it is, I eat it. Okay, so it's like your chicken, the vegetables and the rice. Okay, great. And it's the same stuff over and over again. Are you disciplined enough to eat that same stuff over and over and over again? Are you? Or if something in your brain is like, no, I really want that sweet stuff. But I know if I touch that sweet stuff, it's going to take my energy. But if I continue to do the balance of the carb, carb, whatever, protein, then I will have energy even more so than anyone. And energy is the number one thing that will win over anyone else. Not if you're the smartest, not if you know more. It's the energy. You don't want to deal with things because your energy sucks. And if your energy sucks, you can't handle hard things. So the number one business hack, the number one life hack, the number one leadership hack hack is guess what? Energy. Energy, energy, energy. It all comes down to that. It all comes down to that. How can you change as a human if you don't have energy? So you being a part of a leader is you looking good, you working out, you eating well, you. You mentally take care of yourself. I would also say being a good leader is actually spending time with your spouse, if you have one, or spending time with friends, if you have them. Okay? That is going to get you to learn how to communicate, connect, and you're going to feel supported in that way. So when people are supporting you from the home perspective, you're also going to become a better leader because you've got someone on your team that's got your back. If you don't have that person or maybe you're fighting with your spouse, honestly, it drags everything else down and you can't show up the way you authentically want to show up because you don't have. You don't have any backup. You don't have anyone supporting you, and that makes a big difference. So I would say, you know, being in good standing with your family is key to being a good leader. You know, just treating people right is like. Like when you go out to a restaurant, do you treat the waiter like, hey, give me this thing. Or you're like, hey, thanks so much. Like, I really apprec. Appreciate you bringing that over, and thanks so much. Like that. How you show up is key. That's how you lead. And I think. I think people think leadership is a position, and it's not. Leadership is how you live your life. That's what true leadership is. It's how you live your life. Not just a position that you check in because you walked in the doors of your brick and mortar practice and now you check back out. And when you're checked in, then you become a leader. But then when you're checked out, you're not a leader. That's not the case. You've missed the boat. Or you. You're a leader with your online team. And you check on your online team, you're like, all right, guys, we're going to do this. Okay, now you shut down the computer, and then you're like, all right, I'm just going to sit here and eat bonbons on the couch all day long. Who are you leading? Willy Wonka? The Chocolate Factory? No, you're not leading anyone. No one is looking up to you if you're lying on the couch eating bonbons all day long, watching tv, like, no one is looking up to you. What. What are you doing? So what are the things that you're doing? And how can you every single day make strides to become a better leader? I can tell you from my own personal experience, I thought I was a leader. Realized quickly with working with many people online and in person, I was not a leader. How to learn skills of a good leader, how I learned those skills was actually being in so many different hard situations, having so many different hard conversations, going through so much freaking pain, and every single day, I just wanted to run away and be like, I don't want to talk to this person another freaking time, or, I don't want to have a conversation. But the reality is you had to have a hard conversation. Like, how you become a leader is constantly leading people. But the biggest thing is leading yourself. And I can say through my brick and mortar and through my online team. I was never truly a leader because during those time periods over the last seven years, I was just focused on trying to like, build, build, build, build, build. And I truly didn't understand what a leader was. And I think this is where most of you guys are at. I don't think you understand what a leader is. I never took care of myself in that, in that time period. So how do I label myself as a leader? That's why I don't consider myself a leader until now after the fact, when I let a company go. And now I've stepped into a role of a leader because I'm actually truly leading, meaning I'm doing things that many people are not doing and that's a true leader. Someone that shows up and I show up consistently. I don't show up like someone that's so pissed off one day and then someone that's so happy the next. I show up consistently every single day for my team and lead them with the energy and the fire that comes along with building a business and that's stepping into a true leader. And I'm proud of that. I'm really proud because I've done a lot of work, done a lot of work on how to become an actual leader and be able to lead people. And that's what I need you guys to do. And the result of that is my life has changed. My life has changed, which then overall has changed the business. The business has changed because my life has changed. Not the other way. I don't change the business to then change my life. That's not the case. You change yourself to then change the business. And the biggest business and leadership hack is you changing first. You have to change first. Your business will not grow until you get rid of all that negative thinking, until you get rid of all those false beliefs, until you get in shape so that you have energy, until you're able to systematize and like and like move things, your business will not change. You have to change you first. And that's the best part about leadership. Leadership is a lifelong education on how to continuously be the better version of you. And that's it. If you guys need help on becoming a better leader because you know that you have more in you and you know that you can do things better, text me 703-783-2388. Text me. We'll talk soon.