🔥 Week Two: How to Treat Pain with Intercourse — Start Rebuilding Comfort & Confidence

Foreign.

With intercourse. Here we go.

So first thing I like to do.

Is just check back in and see if they did their homework for checking if there's any pressure issues with prolapse, like anything coming down, anything that they see. So that's the first thing that I would want to check in with. And then how they felt about their belly breathing. So I check in with them on their. On that. And if it was easy, if it wasn't easy, if it's challenging, if it is challenging, then what I do is I modify how I give it to them at home. So let's just say I'm so busy I can't even think about it. That's what they tell me. Okay, well, we're going to do it one time at work and we're going to make a note on your computer that's going to sit there and we're going to try to do that. So I help modify that activity and dive into maybe why it couldn't get done or whatever the issue is. It's the first thing.

The next thing I want to dive.

Into is teaching them how to do myofascial release on their abdominals.

So let's start here.

I'm going to kind of pull this up here.

Okay. And I'm going to start with my abs. And I'm basically going to take my fingers like this.

Like a heart.

Okay, like a heart. And I'm going to start here like this.

No lotion.

And I'm going to lift. I guess I have to pull this down more. I'm going to lift the tissue. Let's see how I lift the tissue. And I'm going to keep doing this. I'm going to keep doing this. And I'm going all. We're going to go in one direction first. I'm going to really hit all my abdominals. Okay. Then what I do is I can start down here and I can start coming up.

I do the reverse.

I move my hands like this. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Like a little spider. Up, up, up, up, up.

And I'm gripping it. Like where you're getting kind of that fat. You want to grip it.

And I want to lift. Don't push, lift. Okay. So I'm lifting, lifting, lifting. And I'm going in all directions. If this is too hard, you can also take your hands like this and scoop. Watch this. Let your belly go. So I'm taking this hand and I'm pressing down. And I'm pulling this up, pressing down, pulling this up, pressing down, pulling this up. I can also start with just a clockwise direction. Never counterclockwise. Clockwise direction here. Okay. Because the reason why is it goes with the colon. And when I feel intense, this is exactly what I'm going to do. Or I'm going to take my hand like this, like a little cup, and I'm just going to lift. So I lift. I'm trying to give you a good picture. Lift, Let it go. Lift, belly breathe.

Okay.

Right here. Lift.

Okay. So once I have done that, okay. The next thing I'm going to do is work on my inner thighs. Okay. So now from here, let me see if I can move this video camera down a little bit more. My computer's slightly in the way. Okay.

Now from here, I'm going to take my inner thigh.

Okay.

And I'm going to do the same thing. I'm going to lift the tissue. Going to lift the tissue. Lift the tissue. Lift it back up. Lift it. I can also take it this way and pull, pull, pull, pull. And I'm just holding it. Okay, Just holding it. And then I'm also doing this.

Okay, I'm going to do the same.

Thing on the other side. Same thing I'm going to do here.

Same thing I'm going to do here.

Now do this for about five minutes. And I just try to again lift the tissue here.

Don't press into it.

You're pressing, but I'm lifting so that the tissue starts to separate. Now, once I've done that, then I'm going to go over externally stretching of the labia so my legs can be like in a butterfly, like this. I can take my hand kind of like this. And I'm going to come right in on my labia and I'm going to pull. So here's my hole. Here's my labia. I'm going to pull like this. I'm going to then move my hand and pull. I'm pulling out this way. I'm going to come. So here's my vaginal opening right at the bottom part. I'm going to pull out this way like this.

Okay, now I'm going to take both.

Of my hands again. Nothing's going in the hole on either side of the vaginal opening. And I'm gently just going to go like this, like that. Same thing. Just go out here. Even lower out. I can also do one side at a time. One side at a time.

I'm just going to hold it here.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Okay, I'm going to show you on the model as well, so that everyone can see what it looks like.

So, vaginal opening, anus. From here, I'm going to take my hand, cup it like this. I'm externally on the labius and I'm gently just going to pull like this. I'm going to breathe. Okay, same thing here. Okay, same thing over here. I'm gonna pull, same thing here. Okay, now at the 6 o' clock area. So remember, this is the clock. This is 12 o', clock, 9 o', clock, 6 o', clock, 3 o'.

Clock.

I'm going to take my fingers here. I'm going to gently gun. I'm going to pull down on the.

Actual six o' clock region.

Nothing, though, is going in my hole. I'm just right outside. I'm gently going to pull down. Then I'm also going to take my two fingers and pull right at the area between the vaginal opening and the anus. I'm going to gently pull out and I'm going to hold. I'm going to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. So I'm just getting used to touching things in this area and being comfortable with this, being able to see if my body tenses when I'm touching this area. So be mindful of that. When you are pulling each pull, I'm doing anywhere between one to three breaths. I'm holding it. So when I'm pulling, I'm inhaling, Exhale, exhale. That equals two breaths. Inhale, exhale. It equals three breaths, and then I'm moving on. Okay, so that is going to be key for that. Now with this, let's see what else.

I'm going to do.

Okay, so that is going to be. Your homework is I'm going to move this camera back up again. You are going to be pulling at the labias and external tissue and we're still going to be able to do belly breathing. Okay, now this is what I also want you to test at six o' clock here. If you were to touch here or you just even take a peek here. So again, have a makeup mirror in front of you. You can angle it.

Sitting on my bed with my knees up like this, the makeup mirrors here, and I'm looking at my pelvic floor.

Okay.

In this position, I am looking to.

See do you have any scar tissue or tearing or anything that's happening here? Some of you guys may be postpartum. So there may be some scar tissue from the stitching. Like if you had any tearing, that's Going to be here. And this is why this could be pain, painful. Also, this area right here has to do with hormonal changes that happen. It thins as we age. There's lack of estrogen that can happen here as well. There's also more nerve endings in this area as well. So all these things make a big difference if this is tender. So all I want you to do when you're exploring down here is just touch this area like this and see if your body is like, don't do it, or if that's okay. So I really want you to evaluate that and then report back on next session what your findings were. Okay. Doable. And if we need to practice it right now on this call so you feel confident, let's go ahead and make your fingers like. Make your finger like this. And I want you to take your other finger and I want you to confidently just touch this area. And this is how we're going to practice. And if you're not confident with pulling at it, then let's practice here. You're going to take your two fingers and we're going to pull. You guys see how that tissue moves? That's what we want. Vaginally. Come down here, pull. You see how tissue moves? That's what we want vaginally. Same thing here. That's what we want vaginally. Now go ahead and repeat that back to me because I want to make sure that you're doing it correctly. So you feel confident when you do this at home that you can confidently do that because of what we went over on this call today. Okay, great. So now the next thing I want you to try for homework is, can your partner confidently touch your inner thigh?

Like, let's say you guys are laying in bed, can they confidently touch your inner thigh? Or if you're sitting on the couch, can they just put their hand on your inner thigh?

Is that a thing? If they can, without you tensing your abs and your glutes, that's a good sign. If they do that and you tense that, be mindful, because that is where we need to work. And we cannot go into. Keep penetrating, penetrating, penetrating, because that reinforces the same pain response. So let me explain pain science to you. Pain science is when the body senses that something is going to hurt, it will tense up before you even recognize it. So if I know that I have pain with intercourse with my partner, and they come close to me, even just touch me on my shoulder, my body's response is going to go, oh, here they come. And I'M going to tense. That is what I'm talking about, is that we have to retrain. Okay? And so this is why we need to bring awareness in this phase of what your body is doing and really tune into it to make sure that it can feel safe and be able to let go. So this is the things that we have to notice and practice with our partners. So do you have that tension if someone touches you? And if you don't have a partner right now, but you're wanting to get to a partner, which is why you're trying to get this taken care of, then just notice if somebody even comes close to you. Or you're like, oh, my God. Or even like a friend is like, hey, girl, you know, whatever. And you're like, ah. That is your body saying, oh, my God. Danger, danger. And for sure, your muscles will be like, no, thank you. And so can you get to a place where someone touches you and you're like, okay, I'm good. You know, something that you care about touches you, right? Not just like a stranger. So I would say that's one thing. Then what I would do is I would do some kind of stretching. So for instance, I'm going to walk you through some stretching that I would do is. Let me move to my floor here. Well, first off, before I do that, I may actually even introduce dilators. So this is what dilators look like. There are many different sizes. Okay? You can start with a smaller size or the larger size, and they go up to normal penis sizes. Okay? And what you do is you loop this up. I'm in my bed or in a.

Bathtub or whatever's comfortable for you on a couch, whatever. And you're going to insert the dilator vaginally.

You're going to insert it vaginally. Now you're going to try to go all the way in. Okay? But let's just say you feels like it's stuck and it stopped. So you take a breath, you inhale, exhale slowly, try to insert the dilator in more. You inhale, exhale slowly, try to insert the dilator in. For some of you guys, this may be too quick of a step, and that's okay. We don't do it for some other people. They're like, I just really want to get on this and try this. Okay? And it's. I don't have a problem with the smaller one, but I have a problem when I started getting up to this size. Okay, great. Well, then start. Start with this size first. So you're going to start with this size, and then we're going to move up to this size. But that's. We're not going to move up in a day. Each day you try a size now, it may be weeks where you're still at the same size, and that's normal. Okay. We just want to each time not force anything. If there's pain, that is not the key. We're slowly going to try to let go of everything and then slowly try to enter this in. And I hold it here, and I keep it here for anywhere between 5, 10 minutes. And by the way, if you have underwear, you can. Here's a hack. You can put this inside your underwear and let the underwear kind of just like give a gentle pressure and let it do its thing while you can relax. So you're not like, trying to do this and then you're tensing. Or if you just put it in your underwear and let it try to.

Gently have the pressure of the underwear push it in.

To me, that works better because people are less tense. So a little fun hack there. Okay. And so these are the dilators, and we can talk you through how to go up in sizes and all that as we go into this. But this is something that you may want to order. I use the brand Intimate Rose. I absolutely love them. And so they come in different sets. So if you have severe pain with intercourse, you're going to start with the lowest. If you don't have as much, but it's still hard to, like, get things in, then you can start with the package that has the little bigger sizes of these guys. Okay. Now, next thing I want to do is move to some stretching of what I would have you guys do. So let me move my computer here, and I'm going to come over here and.

And we are going to stretch. So I'm going to bring this here like this.

Okay. And show you guys what I do for stretching.

We can stay there.

Okay. So now what I do for stretching, first thing I'm going to do is a butterfly stretch on my computer down here.

Okay?

We are going to do a wall V stretch. So what that means is I have my wall here. I'm going to come against the wall. So you're going to scoot close. You're going to lie on your back.

And put your feet up against the wall. Now, from here, I'm going to relax and spread my legs against the wall. And I'm just going to hang out here for three minutes. If you need external support, you're going to put Your hands here. This is going to help stretch out the inner thigh. So three minutes, you're going to hold that. The next thing I'm going to do is do a butterfly. So my feet come down on the wall, I scoop my butt closer to the wall and I let my knees drop out into the wall. So this here too, I'm going to hold for three minutes.

Okay. Now once I'm done with those stretches, then I'm going to do a figure four. Okay, I'm going to do a figure four.

And that looks like this. I'm going to put one leg like so. You may have to scoot your butt away from the wall more. Cross one leg over and press this leg out into the wall. And again, you're just going to relax your head and you're going to hold it like this. And then I switch. So same thing, I switch. Press this knee out. Just really try to belly breathe here. And that's going to be super helpful.

Okay, now let's see. My next thing I'm going to do is I'm going to pull this down. You guys can see me. Next thing we do is a gentle straddle stretch. So I'm here. I'm going to bring my legs so you can guys can see me out wide like old school style. And then I'm going to lean my chest forward. Okay, let me move this frame down a little bit so you guys can see me here. Yep. And again, you can do this in your house.

It's completely fine.

Remember, my legs wide. And then I'm just going to lean forward old school style. And I'm going to give myself a nice little stretch here. That's going to help again open this up and decompress this area. That's going to be huge. So just lean forward, hold it again for about 30 seconds. You can also lean to one side. 30 seconds, you can lean to the other side. 30 seconds, all that. Super helpful. The next thing I'm going to do is a child's pose. So that looks like is I'm going to come here on my hands and.

Knees and I'm just going to put my feet together. I'm just going to rock back.

Now from here, you can grab your butt cheek and pull it apart in this position.

And I'm just going to try to breathe. And I'm just moving my hand around to pull at this tissue here.

That's going to be very, very helpful for you guys. Okay, and so to summarize here, what I want you to do for homework is I want you to see if your partner can have touch to you without the body tensing. You're going to continue to belly breathe and you're going to do these stretches that we just went over, and you're going to try to do some kind of external pulling at the pelvic region here to help lengthen the tissue. So give that a try and then we'll see you next week. On week three.