What to Do When Motivation Disappears

Foreign. What's up, guys? Welcome to Pelby Biz Podcast. I'm your host, Kelly Alhui. Today I want to talk about. It's going to be a motivational podcast. Just some words that I really decided to journal, and I wanted to share them with you guys because I believe that they are impactful. And I hope that this gets you thinking and gets you motivated to do something that maybe you weren't willing to do. And so I'm going to kind of read my words, but also elaborate on them as well as we go through this podcast today. So the first words I wrote down are, don't say, why me? Say, try me. And I love this. Don't say, why me? Say, try me. Some of y' all in your life, you're probably like, well, why did this happen to me? Has anyone ever said that? Why did this happen to me? Poor me. Okay, Instead, say, try me. Try me, universe. Try me. I always say, you're not the victim of your life. For me, I've gained so much knowledge because of all the pain and suffering that I've been through, through many different scenarios. Whether or not it was my learning disability growing up, whether or not it was the situation I was in in Virginia where I absolutely didn't want to be there, and I was surrounded, surrounded by none of my girlfriends. Everything was kind of stripped for me, and I just focused on making sure my husband was good with his family and making sure that I just stayed focused on work because work was my outlet. And. And that's kind of what I did. And so I have to realize that I'm not the victim of life. You guys are not the victim of your life. You have to stand up to your life. And I believe most of us, we don't need more rewards. I need most of y' all to have pain. I need you to have pain. I need you to feel the pain. These are the people that I absolutely love surrounding myself with, because these people with a lot of pain are looking for ways out. They're looking for ways to get out of that current situation. And because I personally had a lot of pain, I. And it can. Pain mean. Can mean many different things, by the way. I just look for people that have had struggle. And if you've had struggle, you're the person that I want to surround myself with, because I know you already guaranteed have had to come up with different ways of thinking, learning, experiencing life because of the struggle. So I absolutely love that. And for those people that haven't had pain, you better find the Pain, you better find the pain to make sure that that pain is the thing that moves you. I've said this many times. Pain or pleasure is the only thing that moves people. Pleasure. It's very rare when something is pleasurable that it moves people. Very rare. The pain is typically what moves people. And it moves people pretty quickly if they're in a lot of pain. So think about that. What is the pain in your life right now? What is it? And how can you poke harder at that pain? I think that's huge. Now I'm going to continue reading. Start wondering how much you are capable of and become obsessed with how far you can go. I think most people are just searching for the bare minimum and they don't have standards. And I believe I have to coach people to raise their standards because. Cause I've seen it time and time again in my masterminds where I'm like, no, but you can have that thing. It's okay to want that thing. You aren't selfish to want a $400,000 home. That's okay. You know, you aren't selfish to want this car. You aren't selfish to want to go on this vacation. But many of us, especially in healthcare, think, oh, my God, if we have something good in our life, we don't deserve that. But the reality is that's just not true. So you want to wake up every single day and be more curious, get excited that you got another freaking shot at the day. Like, I'm so excited when I wake up in the morning because I get to, like, fill my brain with so much more knowledge and like, learn so many more things to then help people. Like, that gets me fired up. I absolutely love that. I find that most people just don't want something bad enough. Like, they just don't want something bad enough. And they're just kind of on this path that's like, lost. Because maybe their parents, maybe their parents said, like, you should be a doctor and that's what you should do. So, like, okay, I'll be a doctor. Well, they end up being a pelvic health therapist and it fulfills them a little bit. They don't hate it, but they don't love it. They're just going through the motion of it. But the reality is that's actually not their dream. That's not actually what they wanted. They're just fulfilling their parents dream. And they can't get off the pathway because they don't know another path. And this makes me sad. It makes me really, really sad because I Know from personal experience, if I'm not personally following my passion, I'm dead inside. I'm dead. Like, good luck trying to motivate me to get out of bed and want to study something, because I don't want to study anything because I'm on the path to like, dying. I'm not living my life because that thing doesn't excite me. If it doesn't excite me anymore, I have to get rid of it now. I have to. So if that's you guys, like, take this as a sign. Stop trying to fulfill your parents dream, fulfill your own. So if you want something so badly, you must make up a story that's going to even push you harder to do the thing. And it's going to push you to get up and go after it if you want it so badly. But most people just don't know what they want. And that's why I coach people on, like, go to an open house and like, literally go act like you live there in that open house. Go to CarMax and drive like the best car on the lot and act like you own that thing. Go on vacation and rent out a house for a day that you could never afford and act like you actually live there. It's so impactful. It is so, so impactful. But most won't do it. Y' all will listen to this podcast and none of y' all will do it. And if you do, please let me know. I would love it. One of my old mastermind students, she messaged me the other day because she actually got her dream home. And we talked about it for the last three years when she was in the program and she got her house and she never thought she could afford it. She thought that she was gonna stay in her one bedroom apartment forever. And one day she was like, I'm over it. I'm going to go try to get my house. And she did. And she's like, kelly, it wouldn't have been. I wouldn't have gotten this house unless I actually toured all the other houses a year before this because it motivated her to do the thing. So that's really, I'm telling you, it's so impactful. If you guys just listen and take this. Hopefully you guys are listening and just go do it and let me know. I would love to know what you just did to like elevate your life and feel that you own your life. I said you must subtract things out of your life on purpose some or so that you can fight to get back on Top. For me, guys, I subtracted things out of my life very recently. I subtracted my big company, orthopelvic, out of my life. And I did that because I knew I was going to have to tear things down to then rebuild back up. I always say you want to fall on purpose, you must have some kind of friction towards what you're moving forward with. For me, my friction is like I just tore down where I make my income from and I said, I'm going to simplify my life. I'm going to tear it all down. So I went from a four bedroom house with lots of square footage to a one bedroom house with. It's a very small place, but I'm okay with it because I like to embrace the suck. Okay? I like to embrace the suck because I learned from it. And if everything was always good and everything was always hoorah, then I wouldn't want things more. I wouldn't see the pain because I was living a comfortable life. So for me, I like to tear it down and I'm okay with it. Most of y' all are not okay with tearing it down because you get, you have to get uncomfortable again. You got to do things that aren't as comfortable. You know, we gotta, you got to switch things up. For us, our lifestyle had to change a little bit here because we don't have as big as the place we had. So, you know, we don't have the things we used to have because we can't. Because you can't fit in this house. Okay, this is just an example, but I'm trying to get you to say that it's okay to get uncomfortable, it's okay to let things go. I believe there's a reason that you had to let it go in the first place. It didn't help you out, it did not serve you. So let it go. Change it. I also believe this, that I'm not just a one timer. And I believe most of you guys too are not just a one timer. We're multi timers. I always say we're multi timers. This is, this is what has to be done to keep things going. You have to embrace and love sucking. You have to embrace and love failure. Because the journey is about overcoming, not the freaking finish line. And the overcoming is what the fun part is when you look back and say, man, how the hell did we get through this? That's the fun, not just getting to the top of the mountain. Has anyone ever paid off their student loans? I don't know if you guys Did. But I did paid off my student loans. And you think balloons would fall from the ceiling? No, balloons were falling from the ceiling. Instead, I just ended up being so broke. Like, the bank account was still zero. Okay. At least it wasn't in the negative, but the bank account was still zero. So we have these goals and these visions of, I just want to pay off my student loans. This was me. I said this. And then I did pay off my student loans. And I'm like, I didn't feel anything on that day. I thought I was gonna, like, literally jump on a freaking mountaintop, and balloons are gonna be falling. Everyone's gonna be screaming my name. I did not feel one thing. Maybe I was still pissed off that day. Like, still, like, so freaking angry that I paid all this money, but I had no happy. I had no happy feelings that day. Probably I was more angry that my bank account was still zero, I think. So that's what I'm saying. The journey that you think you're on is, like, I just got to pay off the student loans. But, like, do you. I mean, yeah, eventually you will, because they will go to your grave. But, like, is it going to be the best day of your life? It won't be. I've been there, done it. It just won't be hanging out with your family, hanging out with your kids. It's going to be more the best day of your life than paying off your student loans. I promise you. Okay. Also, as a leader, for me, I have a big responsibility. I feel that I must set the standard for the pelvic health community. So I do everything I can to. To withhold that and, like, to uphold that, I should say. And we have many people that come take the ideas from Pelvi biz and, you know, spin it and do their own thing and. And make it their own, which that's what we want. We want to be the trendsetters that people are inspired by that basically use our stuff, spin it in their own way and do their own thing. Like, that's really what we strive for, because we know then we're on the right path. And most of y', all, like, you just don't have a standard. You don't have that standard. Like, what. Who do you want to become? Here's a really good question. What is your life mission statement? Jesse Itzler, one of my mentors, always stressed this to me. Kelly, what was your. What's your life mission statement? Not your business. Because I was like, well, we help men and women with leakage Paint with intercourse. And he's like, that sucks. I remember him. I was walking the park, literally saying this. That's the most horrible pitch you just gave to me. And I was like, okay, great. He was like, what the heck is your life mission statement? Not your company. And I was. It had me thinking, like, what the heck is my life mission statement? What do I want out of my life? And my life mission statement is to have girlfriends in business and be fun and have fun while doing it while. While getting to hang out with my family and having the time that I want and only fill up my schedule with things that I want to do. That's my life mission statement. And it just resonates with me because that's ultimately what I want. Not paying off my student loans, not getting these awards in the pelvic health community. It's the things that I just said that is what life's about. So what do you want to wake up? What do you want to wake up and live by every single day? I need you guys to think about that. What the heck is your life mission? What is it? And stay true to that. Like I said, for me, I want to take care of myself. I want a happy marriage. I want to spend time with my girlfriends and my dog. I want to own my time and get to decide who takes it. That's it. I want to bring people together and explore and study and stay curious. That's what I want to do in my life, period. Most people today, I believe, are just. Are. They're just weak. We don't have leaders out there. They're weak. And I hate to say that, but I really believe people are weak. And I also believe with AI coming in, it's going to make them even weaker. Because I've actually seen this transition over the last three years where most people don't even want to think anymore. They just want to ask AI to do all the thinking. And they're like, great. Like, their brain doesn't even work. And I'm like, wow, this isn't good. I think we should utilize AI Absolutely. Love AI But I also think you need to think, like, deep down. And I. I believe this is why people, they forget how to think, because these machines now are thinking for them. But this machine AI cannot tell you specifically what your life mission statement is. It can't. I mean, maybe ask it. I'd be curious to see what it says about me, but, you know, it's not gonna tell me my life mission mission statement. It takes some deep reflecting and thinking. What do you want out of your life? And then being able to stick with that AI is not gonna hold your hand through that. So I think, I don't know, I just think that's important. And I also wanna say that there's no hack to life. There's no hack. The hack is doing it and then failing at it. And that's the beauty of it. So for those people that are like, I just hate failing, I don't want to fail, I absolutely hate it. For me, my whole journey, since I was three years old, started out as pure failure. Pure failure every single day. For those that don't know, I had my ear ripped off. I couldn't hear, I couldn't speak, I couldn't talk. It delayed every single thing. So for me, when people are like, well, Kelly, how do you have the motivation or the push? I got it when I was three years old, when every single day through grade school, all the way through college, I had to reread a sentence 20 times to just understand one sentence on what it said. Do you know how frustrating that is? Do you know how painful that is? Everyone's read like a whole entire book and I've only read one sentence. Do you know how frustrating it is having to go to speech class and I still can't say words right? Having to go to speech class and having to put my tongue like this behind my mouth, like behind my teeth, just to say one word. And I have to say it slowly to try to pronunciate the word and get my mouth to move because my mouth, I guess some nerves maybe been, you know, probably disrupted on my right side of my mouth because my mouth wasn't moving correctly because of my ear coming off, probably because maybe whatever nerve comes by the ear, was it cranial nerve number seven or something, the facial nerve. Do you know how frustrating that is when people can just like talk and I have to like really think about where my tongue placement is and then try to say the word so slowly because I don't know how to say it. Like, it's very, very frustrating. And it is like hitting your head against the wall 20 times and then still not get breaking into the wall and then re trying to do it again for those people that you're like, but I don't have the pain, I don't have the thing. I need you to dig. I need you to figure out where the heck the pain is. For me, I. It was a gift. They labeled me as having a learning disability and a fifth grade reading level all the way throughout my adult life and all the way through college and whatever else. And I still probably think I have a fifth grade reading level. Okay. But here's the thing. I do know I don't care about that anymore. You could put a label on me all day long. I label it as a superpower. I label it as something in someone that had to go through so much to just be average, to just be average. But now I look at it as someone that had to go through so much to just be so different and to think differently and to actually use my brain that I was given. Not saying that I don't rely on ChatGPT or AI, I do somewhat. But I also think differently than most people because I had to. I was forced to. And so until your hands are behind your back and you're trying to make it through something you're struggling with, you just may not see the beauty in it until after the fact. I didn't see when all these teachers were labeling me with a 5th grade learning level that that was beautiful. I see that now as an entrepreneur because my brain just doesn't work like everyone else's, which now is a gift because I can be different and give you guys new ideas and different ideas and bring that to the table rather than, well, that's how everyone else thinks. So we're just going to continue to do it like this. So now I learned that it's just a blessing and I'm so thankful for it. So how this applies to you guys is you got to learn what has caused you pain, whether or not it's in your past, whether or not it's currently, and how are you going to take that and no matter what anyone says, how are going to use that as your fuel to get your butt into gear and do the thing that you've been avoiding to do. How are you going to get up every single day and say, I'm going to attack this life instead of just living in this life? I did that for so long, guys. I did it for so long. Last seven years. I was just living my life, living it well, not even living it. I was dying in my life. I was dying. I thought I was winning because the number said I was winning. But the reality was I was dying. I wasn't progressing. I wasn't growing in ways that I wanted to grow. And the only thing I focused on was one thing, business. And it came back to bite me in the butt because everything else went by the wayside. And I didn't realize that until I switched environments completely got rid of things in my life. And now looking back at it, I wish someone shook me and said, make the change. It's going to be okay. I know this is scary, but make the change. And now I'm thankful I see it from a different light. So the lesson here, guys, is find the pain, poke the pain, get motivated by the pain, enjoy the failure, Enjoy the path that you're on, even if you haven't hit that goal yet, because when you do hit that goal, it may not be the balloons that you want falling from the ceiling. You may actually be a little upset about it as well. But enjoy the ride, because that's what life is. That's what living your life is. And thinking of ways of how do I overcome this obstacle? How do I get through this? And be very proud of yourself for what you've been able to overcome. So if you're out there today thinking, I can't do this. I can't continue, I'm at the end of my rope, I'm here to tell you, yes, you can. Yes, you. You can. You can do it. And today, I need you guys to get after it.