Who You Surround Yourself With Determines How Far You’ll Go

Relationships, let's talk about it. I truly believe relationships are one of the pillars that you need to have to truly have success in your life. And that if your relationship is off, then you really may be struggling to grow yourself, grow your business. And that honestly may be the key piece to having success. And so I'm going to kind of let you into my own relationship with my husband and, you know, different stages we've kind of been through as we've gone along this journey of growth and entrepreneurship and we've been together for 16 years and what that looks like and take you kind of through the journey of that. So my husband and I first met when we were in grad school. We sat next to each other in class, we were both classmates, and we just started hanging out. I was the party planner, I planned all the get togethers, the party, and he was kind of the guy that's like, who is this crazy girl? I want to attach myself to her energy because she is psycho. And I was like the life of the party. And so we just always, we would study hard and we would go out hard and he would, you know, come to the library with me at 7 o' clock or 5 o' clock in the morning with like knee deep snow. And he would just fall asleep at the computer while I was studying, because that's like how I would learn. But he was there to like, support me kind of throughout the entire process of grad school. And, you know, we dated throughout all, all school, and we made it through that. So that was like one whole phase of just making it through something extremely stressful. I don't know about you guys, but grad school was so freaking stressful. And it was like, oh, we finally did it. And then we both graduated. And the next hurdle we had to get over was he was from Virginia and I was from Georgia. And like, where were we going to move to? How. What was that going to look like? So that was like our first major life decision that we had to make together. And before we even decided that we had to take our boards and we took our boards and we actually both ended up failing. There was just a lot going on during the time period. My mom had open heart surgery and, you know, he had to move back home and I moved to Atlanta. And so we were at two different, separate locations and there was just a lot. And in that time, we're like, yeah, let's just, I'm gonna have you move down to Atlanta. So we moved down to Atlanta and that was like a moment of like, all right, this is getting, like, real serious. He actually came and lived in my mom's home for a while because we didn't have any money to even have an apartment. And so that was challenging in itself. And he would drive, like, an hour to work and then an hour back. I mean, there's just so many different things when you have a relationship that you go through. And for those that don't know, he's an introvert. I'm such an extrovert. He has stayed at an outpatient orthopedic job that, you know, takes insurance and all that kind of stuff. And so he likes being comfortable. And at first I was like, come on, I'm changing. Like, don't you want to change? But I realized this. You cannot force people. You cannot force people to change. You either have to be okay with it, or you have to move on. And so for those people that are listening to this right now, and if you're, like, in a relationship and you're like, look, I'm leveling myself up, by the way, I do believe most couples should level each other up. Like you. Really? I believe that. But if you're at a place where either you're married to another provider, because most of you guys are. It's so funny. I talk to you guys. You're married to another provider. One may have a business, one may not. You guys both may be in the business together. That brings up its own challenges as well. How do you separate business from a relationship? Or how do you integrate that? I should say. So there's many different things and challenges that kind of occur along the way. And so I remember we lived in Atlanta. He worked at an outpatient orthopedic. I worked at an outpatient orthopedic doing pelvic health as well. Worked a lot of hours, then moved to Portland. Same thing. Worked at outpatient orthopedic. I did the same thing as well. It's funny, when we were interviewing, we would, like. When we would move to these different states, we'd be, like, interviewing against each other, and they'd be like. We'd be like, who are they gonna pick, me or you? Because there's only certain, like, jobs available. So we had to interview with whoever. So anyways, that was kind of fun and to see who they would. Who would. Who they would pick. But I'm saying this because we've been together for 16 years, and, you know, there's been lots of ups and downs, meaning there's been lots of just supporting each other in tough Times, and I would say probably the last five have been the most challenging. Meaning there's maybe even over last seven. Let's say just last seven. Just because there's. There's challenges that come up in life. And so I'm saying this to you guys because I want you to realize how important it is to have someone that actually has your back. Okay? That's the point to this, is I want you to realize that someone that has your back is actually someone that can help propel you, whether or not they believe in your mission at first or not. So I'm about to get into that. So right before I started orthopelvic, my brick and mortar business, I was like, I think I'm gonna do this. And I. I told him, I was like, I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna do this. And he was like, you can't do this. We have so much debt. Like, we had almost like a half a million dollars debt, like, together. We can't do this. Like, how are we gonna pay rent? How are we gonna live? Like, you're crazy. Like, this is nuts. You're. You're basically putting us in a comprom. Ridiculous. And like, we're not going to live, we're not going to survive. And like, he went in full on panic mode, and he had all the right to do that. Okay? And. And I was also in panic mode because I was just like, oh, my God, I'm gonna do this. And I'm like, bawling. I'm crying for like four hours straight. Like. Like, you could not even understand anything I was saying at all for four hours straight. It was like someone got murdered, no joke. And my mom was the only one that actually believed in me. And she said, kelly, do it. And I said, okay. I know my mom always has my back and always, like, really believes. I know my husband believes in me, but he also doubts me. And so. And he has the right to do that because if our circumstance change because of me, it will also affect him. And I live in a world of abundance, and it's gonna work out and I'm gonna figure it out. So he might live in a world more of, like, this is so scary. I can't even imagine it. It's gonna cause so much stress. I can't deal with that. You know, those kind of things. So you may have partners that may be on two different playing fields, and that's pretty typical, just. And like, pretty normal. But how do you find some common ground where maybe at first you didn't agree, but you come back to that. And so make a long story short, this opportunity came up to invest 3k into a program. And I, I, we got in a massive fight. Before I did this, I talked to him and I said, hey, I did actually talk to him. This is like the first time I've ever probably said, like, I'm going to talk to my husband and actually talk to him because normally we, we don't do that. But I was like, I'm gonna invest like 3k in this program. And he's like, no, what are you doing? Are you psycho? We don't have any money because I was just gonna put on a credit card because I didn't have 3K. I had 800, my bank account. And he, and he left, he, he stormed out. He left the house. And I'm on the couch bawling my eyes out thinking like, oh my God. Yep, he's definitely gonna be just out of this relationship. And I did it. And that 3k made, made us millions. And I say that because it was a moment that I saw that there was such disbelief or such lack of belief that I used that as like, you know, no, watch me. I'm going to change our circum situation. And I could see a higher vision for us. I could see that there was another side to it. And, and I don't run in scared mode. I run in. I'm going to take over this mode. I'm going to do this, I'm going to achieve this mode. And so some of you guys that are listening to this, you may be like my husband, where you are confined to being so scared and being so like, how do I want to say it? Just like, you want to be in your bubble because it feels comfortable to you. But the problem here is I wasn't comfortable with our circumstance. I was actually very uncomfortable with our circumstance. We were almost half a million dollars in student loan debt. We were, you know, always living in a 550 square foot apartment, one bedroom. Everywhere we lived, we were in that square footage. I, I was uncomfortable. Like, I wanted something that I knew I was meant to, like, live in and that I wasn't in a 550 square foot apartment. Always and forever. At this point, we're, you know, eight years out of medical school, two doctors, and we're living in a 550 square foot apartment because that's what we could afford. And I was like, this just isn't right. Like, this isn't right. Like there has to be something better. And I Was willing to take the risk to go, like, all in on something, even if my partner didn't see that. And I think that's very important to state because I know most of us females tend to use the excuse of, well, let me talk to my husband, whether or not that's true or not, or, let me talk to my spouse or whatever. And it's like, what you feel inside is the thing that's gonna move you. It's not like whether or not your partner agrees with it or not is, do you believe you can do it? I had massive belief. Well, not massive, I should say. I had belief. I saw a glimpse that I could do it. But my mother instilled, yes, you can do it. Go for it. When she said that to me, I was like, okay, she believes in me. Fine, I'm going for it. And because of her, it gave me the courage to take the leap and go for it, not because my partner was on board. Okay, now, after making that investment, you would think that, you know, after the success that we've had, my husband would be like, yeah, do whatever. Invest in whatever. Still, no, that's not the case. Okay, there's still doubt, and your partner may still doubt you. Okay, there's still doubt of, well, can she do it again? Can we go through this again? And by the way, going through some of the phases that we went to at Orthopelvic was probably some of the hardest times of our freaking life. I mean, he stepped up to the plate where he became a full time, basically cleaning the house, cooking, picking out my clothes, doing laundry, taking Lulu out for walks, like, full time dad mode, because I couldn't do anything, like, anything else besides work, any. And he kind of just really stepped into that role without really saying much. So, like, every morning I had my breakfast ready. Every day I had my lunch ready for me, like, ready to go. I just had to pull it out of the fridge and eat it, or it was just sitting where I sit and I would just eat it. Every night. He had my dinner ready to go for me. I wouldn't be able to survive without him. He did our laundry. He did all the dishes. He did every single thing. And. And I say this because even though there wasn't this massive belief in, like, me being able to start a company, he was still there behind the scenes, which you guys don't see supporting. Supporting the vision. Even though he doesn't work in the business at all, he doesn't want to know anything about the business, but he's still behind the scene, supporting his wife on her vision and her dream. And I couldn't be more thankful for that. Meaning that, you know, he does all this stuff behind the scenes that allows me to stay focused on what I absolutely love doing, which is not cooking. I don't put me in the kitchen. I will burn your kitchen down 100. But which is, you know, studying and working on things for you guys to get things out. And, like, that's truly what I love doing. Some people will say, well, that's psycho or obsessive. And, yeah, it is, because I love doing it, though. I absolutely love doing it. And he knows that. And so he allows me. I'm thankful that he allows me to stay in my zone, that I truly, like, I get to. I honestly get to say, like, I get to do the things that I love every single day. And that is amazing, you know, that. That's truly amazing. And as we go through this journey, you know, we get to the process of me being, you know, thinking about selling orthopelvic. And this is a very quick decision, one that I wasn't really expecting, and moving full time to California. It's a big decision. I, again, I wasn't really expecting that. But these are things that came up as the process started to go. And I came out here in January of 2025, and I was like, I have to do this. My health is going down again. Like, I have to make a pivot. Like, I just felt it internally again, using my intuition. I was like, something has to change. And I went back after January and said, hey, you know, I think a change is coming. And then I went to an event in March or no, in February, and some guy spoke on stage, and I was like, it's my time. I called my husband that night and I said, I'm making a change. I want to put the building up for sale. And we did. And then I called my realtor and I said, let's do this. And I. I think even though we've been through some crazy times, my husband and I, with, like, just my business, I think he was really surprised and shocked. Like, just shocked how quickly things moved and went. And, you know, he absolutely loved his job back in Virginia. He loved it. And that was, you know, a hard situation of like, well, do we leave that job? Do you not leave that job? But ultimately, we knew that we were going to have a better lifestyle out here in California and a better quality of life and that he could find another job. And I just want to be kind of real about this meaning, you know, it's hard, like one person has to give up what they like and another person has to get what they want type thing. And there's this like sometimes this balance back and forth, you know, like, I didn't want to give, go to Virginia, but I did that to help support my husband. And so there's this like constantly this, like, what is it like? Just this give and take when it comes to a relationship. And you have to be willing to either compromise and, or work together on whatever mission you're trying to do. And I think that's very important. Important. Even though you could be completely opposites like my husband, I are complete opposites. I mean, on every level. The only thing that we have in common is that we're both pts. That's the only thing we have in common. And that we like to walk and that we love our dog Lulu. But other than that, like he still works at an outpatient. I think people are so shocked by this. He still works at an outpatient orthopedic clinic that is an insurance based model. And you know, I'm okay with that because I realize some people, some people just want to stay that way. That's not me though, and that's not most of you guys. And I truly believe that. When you actually believe in yourself and you dig deep and like really want something more than just, you know, going to work and coming back home, some people, that's all they want. And I get that. I a hundred percent get that. I personally just don't want that. I want all aspects of my life, including my relationship, to be impactful and successful and feeling supported and feeling not, you know, not like that. We're on two separate sides of the planet and there are times where you can get that way when you have these big life changes like selling a business and moving across the country and starting a business like all this, that could be very disjointing for a relationship. And some people that are listening to this, you probably can feel this, or the business can cause massive issues in their relationship. Maybe even the spouse becomes resentful of the business. That could happen as well. Maybe the spouse is in the business and you guys are trying to decide, well, how do I have a business relationship but also a marital relationship? Because both of those things can put stress on your relationship and it ultimately comes back to sitting down. What are the goals you guys both want, really laying out a clear pathway and being clear on how you're going to get there and not being afraid of Having hard conversations and not running away from those hard conversations. I think that's what my husband and I have done really well, is that we used to try to avoid those conversations. Now we don't. We, you know, sit there and listen to each other and be able to talk things out. If we're both not on the same page, and that doesn't mean that we're immediately gonna. All of a sudden, everyone's gonna win and come on the same page. There still may be things that are not on the same page, but we're working through those and being able to say, okay, like, I can tolerate this or I can deal with this or whatever, because that's what it's about. And ultimately, you know, if. If you feel your family is happy and you're happy and things are moving the direction that you want, then that's. That's all that, you know, you can ask for. Like, that's amazing. And I do think relationships really allow someone to succeed or not succeed. Like, if you're going through a divorce right now, or maybe in a separation or whatever else, I believe that that massively is going to affect how you show up. It's massively gonna affect how you carry yourself. Because that's something that is traumatic. That's something that is gonna take a lot of emotional bandwidth. It's something that you're gonna be constantly thinking about. So how could you show up your authentic self? How could you? You know? And so I think these things are really important to discuss. I know most people don't bring it up, but. But I wanna bring up relationships, and I wanna bring up relationships in business. And. Because I do believe it's one of the pillars that you must have together to make something successful. And it may bring different stages, you know, like, right now, I don't get my breakfast, lunch and dinner made for me anymore, because I have time. But that's okay. Like, I realized that that was a stage, and he stepped in when he really needed to, and he stepped up when he really needed to. And so these are. These are just the different phases that you gotta be willing to go to battle for each other. You gotta be willing to, you know, step in even when you don't feel like, oh, my God, I wanna do this. Like, I was willing to move to Virginia for my husband, even though every ounce of my being was like, don't do that. But I did it because I was like, okay. And then I was like, let me make lemons out of lemonade. And then that's when I Was like, well, let me dive into starting my brick and mortar because I, I was just like, okay, well, this gives me something to do. And, you know, that's just what it was. So I, I think, I don't think we talk about it enough. And so I wanted to make, you know, an episode on relationships and business because I think it's important to know that when you have someone that really actually supports you, that really someone that's going to go to battle for you, doesn't mean that they're on your side every single day, doesn't mean that they're going to be not fighting you every single day, doesn't mean that they agree with everything. Okay. But when you're able to have real conversations with someone and be able to have like your partner there, you know, we've been together for 16 years. I know every word he's going to say before he even says it. Same thing, he knows every word I'm going to say. And so when you have that person, you want to hold on because it's just hard to find. I feel like, you know, your person, that, that actually gets you, even though sometimes they don't, they're not on the same page as you. And I don't know, I think it's just important that we talk more about how relationships impact your growth and what that looks like for you in success. And there was also times, you know, where I also say this too. I hear this a lot from women. A lot of women will say, well, my husband doesn't emotionally support me. And I could see that a lot. And if that's the case, what I'd recommend, and you may just want to do this in general because sometimes I, I'm just being honest. I would come home and I would bring the, the work drama into our marriage. And that did not help our marriage, like, oh my God, this happened at work. Blah, blah, blah. Like that, that was not helpful. So instead, hire a therapist to, you know, to talk this out with so it doesn't affect your marriage, so it doesn't bring the other person into like this Debbie Downer mode. If things were like going, you know, not so well at work or, you know, you're always just coming home, like, blah. I mean, personally, that's probably you problem anyways, that you should look internally. But if that is the case, then if you feel like you just need someone to vent to and you don't want it to really affect your relationship, then I, a hundred percent would hire a therapist, a mental health therapist to like Talk things out and get a different perspective, because I do think that could be really impactful when it comes to. When it comes to just being able to handle everything and having all the pieces of the puzzle together. Because ultimately, you want an amazing relationship that's going to give you fuel and someone to stand by your side. You ultimately want to increase your profit and make money. You want to increase your time so that you're not stuck down. And you can. Like, tomorrow, if you wanted to fly somewhere, you can fly somewhere. Right. You want to make sure your family is taken care of and you want to live well. Right? So. And you want to have amazing health. Forgot about that one. That's the most important. Okay. All those things you want to have. And if one of those things are off, then the whole thing can just go. If you cannot focus, if one thing is out of alignment, like, let's just say it was a relationship. If your relationship is out of alignment, I can't tell you on calls that you're on or if you're working with patients. All you're thinking about is, oh, I gotta go back home. I gotta have to talk with my spouse tonight about this, this, and this, or whatever. Like, it just doesn't make you the most epic human being that you can be because there's something that's constantly coming at you. And so I just think it's important to protect your relationship and make sure that you and your person are on the same page. And that may be you hiring external support or maybe even a marriage counselor if you need to. But just getting on the same page will actually elevate your business. And that is probably one of the most business hacks I can give you, is have an amazing relationship, and that will take you to the next level. So hopefully this is helpful, guys. If you want me to talk more about relationship stuff, let me know. And if you guys have any questions, feel free to text me. 703-783-2358. Text me at any time, and I'd be happy to give you advice and respond. All right, bye, guys.