How Contractors Grow Through the Hard Stuff | Brandon Marshall

Welcome to The Successful Contractor, powered by CertainPath, a show for residential contractors about residential contractors. We chronicle business journeys, share insights, and celebrate successes in this wonderful industry. I'm your host, Bob Houchin. For more information on how CertainPath can put your contracting company on a certain path to success, visit our website, www.mycertainpath.com. I hope you enjoyed today's show and take away a nugget or two.

Because somebody has to be pouring into you. Most leaders are always just pulled on everywhere you go, and before long you just end up empty. If you don't have something that's speaking into you and revigorating you and pouring into you, then your cup will run dry. I got a call at about 10:30 one night, and it was on a weekend. It was like the day after Christmas. It was one of our members that said, I said, I don't know what to do. I'm having an issue with my son. And he said, man, I just didn't have anybody else to call. Stress will never be the problem. How we look at it will always be the problem. He says, well, are you willing to die to do it? He says, because quite frankly, if you don't change some things, that's what you're gonna do. And without hesitation, my answer is yes, I am willing to die to do it. I think the depth of that love, if we can find that for each other, other, there's nothing that we can't accomplish. Wake up tomorrow determined to give your life away to somebody else.

Brandon, thanks so much for being here again. Uh, you know, for everybody, sometimes their first podcast with us, they've not met you before. So if this is someone's first, could you share with them your name and what you do with CertainPath?

Absolutely. My name is Brandon Marshall and I'm the transformation and Leadership mentor.

It's a mouthful.

It is a mouthful.

It's—

yeah, you trip over it. But basically all it means is that people that are in, in leadership roles, uh, transformation is much different than transition. Yeah. Transition is a different season. It is going into a different thing, a different location. Transformation is a different you. And I'm here to assist in that process of mentoring any way that I can. I love it.

And, uh, I hear nothing but great things.

I know you do a great job for folks.

Uh, you came to me about this idea of talking about stress management and, uh, I think I know why you feel like it's topical given what's going on today, but just want to get your take on why did you feel like this was an important topic?

I just feel like people are in, um, uh, under an immense amount of pressure, like never before almost. And I know a lot of people say that in different seasons.

Sure.

Last year that was like never before and the year before that, but really the people that I'm encountering now just under a ton of stress. Yeah. And it takes a toll on your mind, your family, your body. And everything. And I think it's important to address it. Yeah.

We're gonna dig in into that topic specifically. But for those that, uh, watch these shows, listen to these shows, I always love sharing people's backgrounds and you've shared it before, but again, maybe no one's ever heard, heard you speak before. Uh, kind of share with everyone, what has your, your journey been to certain paths? And let's start from early on. I know maybe even before you're being, becoming a pastor, like how, how did you, your professional life kind of begin?

Oh, wow. Uh, so I started in the linen and uniform business. Yeah, I was in that business for 20 years and, uh, really could have never been fired from that job. Yeah. I mean, I found it when I was 18 years old in a newspaper. Uh, the owner of the company was one of the great mentors of my life.

Yeah.

And toward the end of my career there, I just, I was unsatisfied.

Yeah.

I was unfulfilled, which I think a lot of people face that and you don't really know what to do.

Right.

Uh, so at the period of time where that was happening, uh, a friend of mine had gone to work for a commercial air conditioning company. And invited me over there to be the general manager.

Yeah.

Knowing nothing about commercial air conditioning.

Right.

So, uh, they rolled the dice on me. It ended up being a great little 2-year stint, but in that process of time, I was having dinner with some folks and, um, just being me, talking to people. And I asked the guy, if you could do anything tomorrow, wake up and do anything you wanted to do, what would you do?

Yeah.

He goes, oh, I'd be a rock star.

Yeah.

So I'm laughing at him because he's, you know, 6'4, suit and tie, not rock star. Yeah. And, um, he said, what would you do? And of all the years I've been asking that question, that's the only guy that's ever asked me back.

Right.

And I didn't even know what to say. I said, I think I would travel to people's businesses and inspire their people. And it just started coming out of my mouth, all these things that sort of were in there, but I never, you never shared Herbalife. And he goes, well, how about you start with my business?

What led us to attend the event today, we've been watching the Certain Path podcast on YouTube for quite some time. And it just had a lot of good content, so we wanted to come and see what that content was live. Coming into this, I had no expectations of what it might be. I've never experienced anything like this before, but it proved to be a truly moving and engaging experience all the way around. My most powerful insight from this is that there are other contractors just like me, just struggling to make it, to figure it out, and it's wonderful to know that there's a network of people that can help support you and have your back. The most exciting thing to take home here, what we're going to implement, is going to be the call-taking and dispatching for profit. I can truly see from the coaches what the value of that is, and for us, that's going to be step one. I would recommend others come and experience so that they can find out what they don't know, to understand that they don't know what they don't know, and to be able to experience a community that's willing Wow.

30 days later, I'm standing in front of a group of about 30 or 40 employees delivering my first corporate speech and, uh, changed my life, man.

Yeah.

I called my wife immediately. I said, this is what I'm gonna do the rest of my life. Yeah. I mean, I cried all the way home and it was nothing. They, I wasn't paid for it or anything. It was just an opportunity. Yeah. Uh, that ultimately led to a friend of a friend of a friend. Yeah. Uh, to a person who's a member here at CertainPath. And, uh, he invited me to speak at this thing in Dallas that the speaker backed out on.

Yeah.

Well, he didn't tell me he was the speaker that backed out. He gave me the opportunity. Yeah. And I ended up doing a session called, uh, Running a Business with Faith and Values.

Yeah.

And, uh, when I came down off the stage, he said, how'd you like to do this forever? I was blown away.

Yeah.

Um, and I was hired, you know, that same year.

So— How many years has it been now?

It's been just over 5 years, 6 years actually in January.

That's wild.

It doesn't feel like it.

No, it goes fast.

Still feel like the new guy who's figuring everything out.

Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, I haven't really asked you much about your, cuz you've been a pastor really this whole time. Right. But I've never dug into this and I'm, but I think it's, it's a big part of who you are. Right. And I, that's, that's what I like about this part is learning how people think. So when did you start that? I mean, you know, you're still doing it today. Can you share with everyone?

Absolutely. Uh, so I, so about the time I finished high school, moved back to Texas. College was not in my future at all. And, uh, didn't really know what to do, but I was reunited with my wife. Uh, she's been my wife now for 22 years.

Yeah.

And, uh, she forced me to go to church, which I was like, I'm putting my foot down. I'm not going to church. And so that day at church, uh, we were standing at a potluck.

Okay.

And a guy walked up to me and put his arm around me that I'd never seen before. And he was the pastor of the church. He put his arm around me. He said, son, I see it. He said, I see the you that you don't know yet, but if you stay with me, I promise I'll show him to you. Well, he's the guy that taught me how to put words together, taught me how to do the things that I'm doing now. I stuttered really bad.

I was going to say, I remember you sharing that.

Uh, I was just afraid of everything. I grew up afraid of everything. Yeah. Everybody was better than me. Everybody was bigger, better, faster, stronger. And my words didn't matter. I was invisible. All these things.

Yeah.

that in a moment of somebody just showing that kind of compassion and that kind of future to me just went away. And so I developed a love for helping people. The things that I do now stem very much from the idea that somebody did it for me. Right. And I know the power of transformation. I know the power of pouring into somebody's life in a way that changes them. And it is my goal. I will, I will not retire from this. I will die doing this.

Yeah.

Whether it's here, whether it's wherever, know, at the end of my days, I'm— you may retire from the 9 to 5, but you die doing this.

Yeah.

So how long—

so from that moment to how, how, how long it take you to start actually preaching?

Um, about speaking the word, about 8 months.

Is that right?

About 8 months. He was, uh, he was very good at, at teaching and very good at creating opportunity.

Yeah.

And it was okay for him for me to fail.

Yeah.

Uh, because that created a teaching opportunity. And that's something that a lot of leaders can grasp onto.

Yeah.

You gotta look, you gotta let 'em fail from time to time. I mean, obviously not something that's gonna hurt 'em, you know, don't let 'em stick their finger in the socket just to prove a point. But, but give 'em enough room to create a teaching moment. And I think we can all benefit from just that one little nugget.

So that ignited the fire, the joy of, of wanting to share important to people.

Sure.

How has that, um, shaped your heart in terms of wanting to serve leaders? Has that been the foundational thing?

Yeah, very much so. Yeah, very much so. Because we've all been with really good leaders. Yeah. We've all been with really bad ones. Yeah. And we have a tendency to— the leader that we become is a combination of what is poured into us by each of those. Yeah. And, uh, I think a lot of people are really great leaders. They just don't know it. And part of my job is to help them see the greatness that they have and help them to bring that to the forefront.

Yeah.

You know, I'm not here to correct problems or do any of that stuff or tell anybody what to do. That's not the deal. The deal is that there's a you that you don't know yet. Yeah. And my calling and mission in life, they will put on my headstone, is that if you stay with me, I promise I'll show it to you. I love it.

You know, you're— I, for those that don't know, Brandon's an incredible, you know, public speaker, does a lot of speeches for us. And I always love watching because like your passion, it's genuine. Like I know you're not just giving like a sales pitch on stage, which a lot of presentations or a lot of speeches sound like. But I'm intrigued by your, your creative process, like whether it's a sermon or it's a speech, how do you go about structuring it? Like, where do you find the inspiration for the topic? And then how do you, you know, do you outline it or does it just come from your heart?

There's gotta be some structure to it, right?

Some method, method to it.

For sure. And that's the structure that I teach. Uh, I share it with the Pride. I share it with other people. Uh, basically anybody who has a desire to do this, I can help you do this. Yeah. Because once you know the format, It doesn't matter the subject. And that's why you and I could talk about any subject and we can format it because it's the outline, it's the way that it's done. And so basically it is, you pick out your points. And I tell people, if you, if you only had, if you were floating off to space and you had 30 seconds left, you had to tell me the 2 most important things about whatever the subject is, what would those things be?

Hmm.

People will tell me, and I said, well, those are your points. Okay. Those are the 2 things that will help them understand that subject more than anything.

Yeah.

And then from that point on, it's adding your stories and illustrations to help people understand things. Illustrating is nothing more than using what is common to help people understand what is not. And we overthink it. You know, we think that it's gotta be this great story. The story can be great or it cannot be great, but it has to go back to the point.

Yeah.

You can connect those 2 dots, you can be being effective.

Okay.

I love it.

That's good. Uh, want to talk about your, your baby, the Lion's Pride?

Yes.

Your, your, this project that you've, uh, you've rolled out. I mean, it's been what now, a year? Has it been?

Been, uh, just about a year.

Just about a year.

First class.

Yeah. Maybe just share with everyone before we explain, you know, dig into it, but just what is it overall, what the program is?

So the program was developed, uh, it's a 12-month program based on feedback from our membership. And the idea came about to do a mentorship. It was one of our members that said, hey, I want to learn what you know. I want you to pour into me and do these things. And I was like, well, I got this like whole other job, man, but I'll try. Yeah. And, and so I said, that's a conversation for my leadership. You're gonna have to reach out to them. And then my leadership came to me and said, can you do this? Yeah. And I said, yeah. And they said, well, if you do it, more people are gonna wanna do it. So can you build a program? And so we sent out a survey and asked people questions about leadership and life and the things that they need to work on and where, what might benefit them the most.

Yeah.

Out of the 100 and some odd surveys that came back. I took the top 12 responses, the most repeated responses, and built a 12-month program.

Yeah.

So every week or every time that we meet, we go through a new topic. We discuss that topic, we discover a truth, and then I issue a challenge based on that topic that we then talk about how it went on the next one.

Oh, wow.

So that's how the program goes throughout. But undoubtedly it, uh, we stay on topic, but at the same time, there are things that people are discovering. That they needed, that they didn't know they needed.

Yeah.

Which is probably the most beautiful part for me.

What, you know, a member came to you about this idea, but obviously you saw that there was some kind of a need, right? What, so what, what is the need? Why do you feel like it's so important to have something like this for, for our members, have it available?

Because somebody has to be pouring into you. Most leaders are always just pulled on everywhere you go, right? Somebody needs something from you. You go home and your kids don't care how tired you are. They pull on you and your spouse pulls on you and society pulls on you. And then, and before long, you just end up empty. If you don't have something that's speaking into you and reinvigorating you and, and, and, and pouring into you, then your cup will run dry.

Yeah.

And that's how you see burnout. That's how you see people get to the point where they just don't want to do this anymore. Right. Or they disappear or they develop a bad habit to escape all these things because they're empty.

Yeah. In a way, I think you've mentioned to me, it's almost like Because a lot of it's one-on-ones. I know it's group, but there's one-on-ones. It's almost kind of like therapy without calling it therapy because there's a stigma to— unfortunately, there's a stigma tied to it. But maybe speak to that. How, how is it like that?

It's just listening to what the need is. Yeah. And listening below the surface because it takes a while to develop enough trust where I can tell you what the actual problem is. Yeah. But I might say things that lead you to believe that there's something there. And if you see that something there, if you bring that to me, That's therapy.

Yeah.

If you say, what it really sounds like you're struggling with is just being tired. Are you tired?

Right.

You don't have to be tired, but are you tired? And then they think about it and go, hey, you know what? I am tired.

Yeah.

All right. So why don't we start with some rest before we dig into these important things? And that's a lot like therapy. It's a lot like just figuring out what the actual need is and see how you get to that instead of, instead of worrying about the symptom, let's worry about the problem.

Yeah. Obviously I don't want you to name names, but have there been some interesting breakthroughs you've seen?

For sure.

Can you give any examples without, again, naming names?

Yeah, I got a call at about 10:30 one night, uh, and it was on a weekend. It was like the day after Christmas, actually, something like that. And, uh, it was one of our members that said, uh, said, I don't know what to do. I'm having an issue with my son. And it was pretty serious stuff. And he said, man, I just didn't have anybody else to call.

Yeah.

Like, wow, very successful man surrounded by people all the time.

Yeah.

Didn't have anybody to call. And that moment right there, and this was early on, let me know that we're on the right track.

Yeah.

So I just talked him through some things. We just talked about life and talked about what it's like to be a son, to be a dad, how to respond, how not to respond.

Yeah.

And, um, it went well. He called me the next day and was like, hey man, It was great. We got into some stuff. It was worse than I thought, but now it's better than I thought. And just complete healing for that family. That's the stuff, man.

Where, uh, where does this come from with you? I mean, is it just, you feel like it's just a gift God gave you or is it something you've trained on? I mean, just to, to, to know how to respond and with open-ended questions the way you do to get people to think. I mean, where does that come from?

I think a lot of it is, is gifting, but at the same time, a lot of it is just love.

Yeah.

It's the heart of what I do will always be a love and compassion for people. Yeah. Big ones, tall ones, mean ones, scary ones, ugly ones, skinny ones. I love people. Yeah. And as long as love is the motivation, I think that your, your tools will be endless. Yeah. Because it is in everybody to want to be loved and to, that they need that. Yeah. And when I say I love you, I genuinely mean that.

Yeah.

You know, I've, I, and I'll share this with you just quickly. Uh, recently I got a report from the doctor that I have had some high blood pressures. Yeah. And, uh, which is a lot of the stress conversation. Sure. And, uh, I told him what I do for a living and how much I love people and all that. And he says, well, are you willing to die to do it? He says, because quite frankly, if you don't change some things, that's what you're going to do.

Yeah.

And without hesitation, my answer is yes. Yeah, I am willing to die to do it.

Yeah.

And I think the depth of that love, if we could find that for each other, there's nothing that we can't accomplish. Yeah. Be connected in that level. So yeah, a lot of it just flows out of that.

Let's hope we don't. Let's hope it doesn't get to that.

And I didn't mean that.

That, that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This isn't a cry for help.

We're cool.

No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

No, just flowing outta love.

I love it.

I, I love the passion and, uh, to see it in everything you do. So, but that's why I wanted to dig in a little bit, but I wanted, let's, let's, uh, get back to our topic of handling stress. So what do you see in your interactions, your conversation, of the biggest sources of stress for contractors these days?

The biggest source of stress is their responsibility to other people. That's the thing.

Yeah.

If this was just about them, most of our people are such fantastic people that they could be able to handle it. Yeah. If I fail tomorrow and it's just me, fine. Most of these people are stressed out because of the other families that they're responsible for. Yeah. The burden of not wanting to let them down. I mean, we have some of the most just fantastic people in the country. Yeah. Um, and, and that's the biggest source of stress is the need to fulfill other people. Yeah. And the fear of not being able to do it. Yeah.

Do you think it's, I mean, is it, is it self-imposed? I mean, is it, is there, should they really be that stressed out about it? You know, or is it, is it something that's, or is it sometimes they're just too hard on themselves, I guess is what I'm, I'm I'm struggling through this question. Yeah.

I think that's just human nature. Yeah. Just as a reminder to everybody listening to this, you are doing better than you think you are.

Yeah.

We always think we're doing worse than we think.

Yeah. That's fair.

There's a few people out there that think they're doing way better than they actually are.

And we know some of those. Yeah.

But for the most part, we're doing better than we think. And I just think that, that there's a, that burden to take care of other people becomes a responsibility that you That you, that keeps you up at night. And, uh, some of it is just unfounded, but there's the pressure that creates the stress. So I want you to think for just a moment about a camel and how it— 2,000-pound camel, right? But it doesn't sink in the sand.

Right.

Even though the sand is shifty and all that, it doesn't sink in the sand because the surface area of its hooves is designed to hold that kind of weight. And pressure and stress are a lot like that. We have, we can do nothing about the pressures of life. They're going to be there regardless. And when one of them goes away, another one's ready to take its place. And so there's always going to be this pressure.

Right.

And then we have a certain amount of surface area that we are able to handle.

Yeah.

And your surface area, if you think about it, is your, your network of people, your, your education, your foundation, these things, your resources, your strength, your knowledge, all those things give us the confidence to be able to handle the amount of pressure that is being applied to us. Stress happens when there's a gap between the two. When I feel like I don't have enough surface area to handle what's coming next. And that's how we get to the point where we're like, man, one more thing and I'm, and I'm, this is it.

Yeah.

Right. Those kids say one more thing to me, somebody else cuts me off in traffic, whatever it is, we got the fear of that one more thing because we feel like our surface area is already maxed out. Yeah. And those pressures. Yeah. And so the balance of that stress will never be the problem, right? How we look at it will always be the problem. How we deal with it will always be the problem.

I wanted to get your take on, I think, I think I know how your approach to this, but I just feel like stress is just different today than maybe even it was 10 years ago. I don't know if it's just the media or we're just constantly bombarded with messaging and, you know, I don't know. Do you feel, do you feel that that's, that's the truth?

Huge amount of stress comes from what we see outside. Yeah. And the comparison of what we think we need to be doing versus what we are. I was in El Salvador back in June and Bob, some of the most beautiful people on the planet.

Yeah.

They're 75 years old and they look like they're in their 30s because they don't age. Right. And they don't have the things that we have. They don't have the resources. They don't have the lifestyle that we have.

Right.

But they're happy.

Right.

And they're kind to each other and all that. And I came back from that thinking, I mean, you go do something like that and you think, I'm going to be so grateful for everything that I have when I get home. And yes, but at the same time, I was like, man, there's a lot that I'm missing. Right. That, that, that there's a lot of stress that I'm carrying. That's just unnecessary. Right. And it's about the comparison of looking, an idea of what we think should be based on where we are and where we want to be.

Yeah.

That's really interesting.

And that's true. Stress could cause us— that was the next question. I mean, I think we all see it, how stress affects us physically, uh, emotionally. I'm sure you see it in the leaders you work with, right?

All the time.

Yeah.

All the time. Yeah.

And it, it, the, the bad thing is, and we don't want this to happen, but it spills over in our personal lives and our work lives, right? So what do you do in those cases? How do you, how do you, you know, ease the burden? How do you calm yourself to not allow that to happen? Right. Because unfortunately, They compartmentalize it, right? And they internalize it, I guess is what I should say. And then it eats at them. So how do you coach people through that? How to handle that stress?

Well, first of all, you have to have an avenue. You have to have an avenue of release. You have to have somebody in your corner that you can call, talk to, talk about those things. And it's hard for people to do. Yeah. Because nobody wants to admit that their shoulders aren't strong enough to handle that next thing. We think it, we think that our shoulders can handle everything. Right. And we're very prideful in that. And when that happens, we end up taking on more than we actually should.

Right.

And it's only when we're actually sinking and drowning that we go, maybe that was too much.

Right.

So the first thing you had to have is you had to have somebody who you can speak to about it and the freedom and the trust to be able to do that in a way that's healthy.

Yeah.

Um, the second thing you have to do is identify what the actual stressor is. Yeah. Because it could just be a very small thing. I think that's where the term, the straw that broke the camel's back, because even though it's not a big thing, it was just one more thing compiled on top of another thing on top of another thing. Right. So we end up flipping out over something really small. That's no big deal because it's just one more thing added to this pressure. So identifying what the actual stressor is.

Yeah.

And then determining what surface area I need to be able to handle it. Do I need more education on the subject?

Right.

Is it a skill that I need to add to not be afraid of this thing? Right. Because what happens is, is that the stress causes this unrealistic fear Of the future. It causes us anxiety, which is what anxiety is. It's an unrealistic fear of what's next.

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So we feel like we don't have enough to handle what's next and it causes stress in this moment.

Yeah.

I think it was Mark Twain that said, I've had a great many worries in my life. Most of which never came true. Right. And I think that's a really good example of looking at stress in a way that can be dealt with. You just have to figure out, is it another education that I need? Is it another skill that I need? Is it another person in my life that I need? What do I need to maximize my surface area to be able to handle it? Right.

Right. I think you've said in one of your speeches that life and leadership happen in cycles.

Yeah.

Right. And there's beginnings and endings that's in that.

Sure.

And I think maybe, does that speak to what you're talking about? Maybe we just need to have that realization that it may feel really heavy now.

Yeah.

This, this part is going to end at some point. Is that what that was? Is that where that comes from?

For sure. Yeah, I think so. Uh, I think the title of that speech was Alpha and Omega and talking about beginnings and endings.

Yeah.

And you're right. Things happen in cycles. What you're going through now, Um, it's not going to last forever.

Right.

It will only last, it'll last as long as you allow it to. Yeah. But if you never do anything to change your surface area, if you never do anything to shift or move, it'll last a lot longer than it should. Yeah. Um, but you have the power to control that. Right. You can't control it happening.

Sure.

What you can control is how you deal with it. Yeah. There's also some, I'm going to read this because I don't want to get it wrong.

You said that there's Before the opposite. Okay. You, you said before that opposition usually means you're chasing something valuable. So opposition usually means you're chasing something valuable. What does that mean exactly? You said that in a speech and it caught my ear when I was getting ready for this. And I wanted to get your clarity for what that, because I think it speaks to this whole idea of stress, because if you're chasing something, right, you know, people are pushing that, that stress builds from that.

Right. So if you're looking, if you're chasing something valuable, you're going to have things because you're usually going Against the grain. You're usually going against something. Something is going to try and oppose you, stand in your way, stop you from having it. If you're just cruising on and life is easy and you got no problems, yeah, there's a good chance you're not really making the impact that you think you are. Right. You're really not making as much difference as you could.

Right.

But if you, but if things are starting to happen and jump in your way to try and derail you, that's how you know you're on the right track.

Yeah. So stress is a byproduct. Sometimes we don't, we don't like it, but it's going to happen. So it's how we deal with it at that point. And that's one I want to shift to now is some tactics, maybe some practical tools you share with people. Is there one particular thing or a couple particular things when you're talking to folks and you can tell they're overloaded that they can do just to help them get through those moments? Is there tools or I don't want to say tricks, but something they can do?

Yeah. I mean, if you'd look it up, there's all kinds of breathing methods and things that you can do. One of my favorite things to do is just to laugh.

Yeah.

I just like to laugh. Yeah. And sometimes it sounds, and it starts off so fake because you don't want to be laughing.

Yeah.

But if you do it long enough, you do it enough, before long you just experience this joy. It just kind of shows up out of nowhere and you realize it wasn't as bad. The other thing is to rest. Yeah. When you fall asleep and you wake up, there's a reset that happens.

Yeah.

There's something that, so if it's, if it's 10, 11 o'clock at night, you're stressed out. You don't know what to do. Go to sleep.

Yeah.

When you wake up the next morning, you'll be like, that wasn't as important as I thought it was.

Right.

Or maybe, you know, I've got a new tactic now that I've developed in my, in my dream cycle or whatever. Some of the best things you'll ever discover in your life are while you're at rest, you're at ease. Yeah. You know, your body will lie to you. Your mind will lie to you in those stressful moments if you don't take the time to rest. But when you kind of shut it off and you can, Just shut the— shut down for just a moment and be silent. Just be quiet.

Yeah.

Just listen. The answer will come.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's, I can't explain it, but it will.

Does come. Are there anything you coach people with daily habits, maybe to define that clarity or, or just, uh, just gain perspective that maybe things aren't as bad as you think it is? You know, how do you coach people with daily habits?

So daily habits are something that I've always, I, it's always been a struggle for me. Right. You know, I had to figure out ways to do it. And actually the members of the Lions Pride have taught me some good things.

Sure.

Which is part of the program as well, because as much as I'm pouring into them, gosh, I'm receiving so much more back from them as people.

Right.

And some of them have very intentional and disciplined morning habits. I know one person who does 20-minute rests and that they just find a place and they just get quiet. get quiet for 20 minutes.

Hmm.

Even if they're not under stress or anything, they just make it a daily part of their routine. Other people have a great morning routine.

Yeah.

Uh, we had a coach here who, uh, who was talking about his morning routine and he spoke to the Lions Pride about it and he was a cancer survivor. Um, and so he had a lot of brain fog and things. And so he shared his morning routine. He would wake up, wash his face, take his vitamins, go rest for a while, sit down, be quiet, drink his coffee, just find that moment. And what he shared was, he said, Bob, he said, Brandon, not Bob. Uh, he said, um, he said, you guys are doing this to be better. I have to do it to be normal. That hit me in a, just a different way. And a lot of the members of the Pride started going, I want to do that. And so one of the things that they do now is just take 15 or 20 minutes a day. Everybody can afford that.

Sure.

And just be by yourself. Be quiet, stare outside, do whatever you can and just let yourself be at ease. Yeah. Just a minute. Yeah. You know, everything will be there when you get done. Breathe, do whatever you gotta do, but just take that time to be quiet.

Yeah. Probably feel it in your body.

100%.

Like it just, just, it just really, just by breathe, pray, see it in your breathing. Right. It just, there's some, it's a tension relief. It sounds like.

Yeah.

That's wild.

And that's part of emotional intelligence is that Our limbic system is back here where we feel. It's connected to our, the part of our brain that's connected to our spine. We feel first and we rationalize way up here in the front. So a lot of our responses to emotion are because we react before we have time to rationalize.

Yeah.

We don't allow it time to get all this. So just pausing before you react to something will make a huge difference.

Yeah.

Because you're giving your brain time to catch up. But when the emotion happens first, it's really hard to do in the moment.

Yeah.

So just pause before you react.

And a lot of bad decisions happen, right? For sure. Just that immediate reaction. I can think of it as a father. Oh yeah. All your kids just know how to hit that button.

And yes, they do.

Yeah.

Yes, they do.

Yeah. Well, so I, I just, I got a new recliner last year.

Yeah.

And it's electric. And so you have to hold the button down for it to go down. Before, I could just slam that thing down and jump up right quick. Now I have to go, hang on, just you, you have you wait till this thing goes down. And that gives me time to go, how ridiculous is this? But it's true. That little recliner has saved them a ton.

Yeah. I need to keep that in mind next time my kids, my boys drive me crazy. I need to go sit down on a recliner.

I'm gonna buy one when I get back. An electric one. You'll have plenty of time. It's almost, it's almost comical. They're just standing there waiting on you like, all right, well, yeah.

You know, you want, never mind.

It's all right.

Just don't do that again. I was gonna smack you, but no, just don't do it again.

Yeah.

Um, how, when you're talking to folks, yeah, again, dealing with stress and how much do they realize, like, how transparent are they with their struggles or how do they not know what's really going on in their lives? They think it's this, but when you start peeling back layers, you go, it's really this. Like, is that Common. Is that what you find?

A lot.

Yeah.

A lot. A lot of the time the symptom is never the problem.

Right.

It goes, I mean, we talk about stuff that stems all the way back to the way they grew up. Yeah. Happened in trauma, all this stuff. But most of the time what you're experiencing is a result of, or a symptom of, or a, uh, the fruit of a much deeper seed. Yeah. Um, and so the, their ability to be vulnerable, that says everything to how much I can help them. And so my, my part of my responsibility to these people and to everybody I meet is to try and develop enough trust where you'll talk to me real. Yeah. Because if you talk to me real, we can get somewhere. Yeah. You know, but that takes time.

How do you, is it just keep asking questions? How do you, how do you start peeling that onion? I mean, there's, there's a skill to that. I mean, so let's say I'm, I don't have the opportunity to meet with a guy like you, you know, and I'm someone watching this and they're a small business person or whatever. They got a lot of stress and Should they find somebody? Yes. But how can maybe they start doing some self-reflection to understand where some of this angst really comes from? Is there anything you can coach someone to do in that situation?

If you're dealing with an employee or if you're dealing with yourself, your words matter. I like to start by just encouraging people and telling them what I see.

Yeah.

The good things that I see. Yeah. And a lot of people can't see that in themselves. Right. But I could see, yeah, whatever it is, you're always kind. You're always on time. Something simple. Just start there and you'd be surprised how that will create this flow of conversation that will help them to open up and peel, peel back the, uh, the layers. Yeah. See what's really going on. Yeah.

Um, what are, you know, on, for people that don't manage the stress, like, you know, what do you, what do you, I mean, there's a lot of danger to that, right?

Sure.

If you just let it fester, you can't, you can't do that. And I'm sure you've seen that where some of these leaders had been on the brink of, you know, not good decisions, right? I mean, it can affect everything.

For sure.

Have you noticed that?

Oh, definitely. And we've had those that will openly admit, hey, I let some people go prematurely because I lost my temper. Right. Uh, there are relationships that I burned. Yeah. Uh, you know, there were struggles at home because it was a manifestation of the stress that I couldn't deal with. Right. And so stress will manifest itself in different ways. It'll manifest itself in your body.

Right.

The amount of the exhaustion that you, you know, you, you're 25 and you, you're gray-headed and you look great, right? Stress manifests somewhere.

Right.

And if we can, we can control, um, and sort of, sort of mitigate that risk of it being damaging. That's the biggest thing.

Yeah.

Because it's gonna happen.

Yes.

But how can we let it happen in a way that's not gonna damage relationship? It's not gonna scar our kids. It's not gonna, you know, terminate employees prematurely or tank our business. How can we manage that in a good way? Yeah. And it all is about that surface area that you have to handle it.

Yeah. Have you seen, and through your work with Lion's Pride, have you seen some leaders get from that brink and now they're managing things much better? For sure. 100%. And what does that, how does that impact not just them, but, you know, the culture of their company and, and their home life? I mean, have you, have you, is there, can you share some examples again without, without naming names? Right.

Yeah, sure. We have, uh, uh, several people that are now managing their people in a different way.

Yeah.

Leading as opposed to managing. And that's, that's very different. Those are 2 different things. And there's a million podcasts we could do about that.

Yeah.

But just the idea that they are establishing a culture.

Yeah.

They are influencing already.

Right.

Whether they're conscious of it or not. The question is, if we know that, then how can we be more intentional about how we influence?

Right.

And, and because we understand that leadership, and the simplest level of leadership is this, we are creating other little us's. Yeah.

Right.

We are reproducing a piece of ourselves in someone else.

Right.

And so if we don't get this right, what are we creating?

Yeah.

If we are people who flip off, you know, flip, flip our minds at the, at the drop of a hat, or we, we can't control this, then we're reproducing that in someone else. We are teaching them Yeah. So the fact that they're middle management now and they're in charge of a whole department and we have led them that way, it's real hard to hold them accountable. They do the same thing and you end up losing, right? So let's focus on this and our intention and our influence, the amount of impact we have, impact we make. Let's make this a healthy thing so that it creates culture.

Yeah.

Culture is like a river.

Yeah.

It's not, you know, you jump in a lake with a kayak, It's a lot to get a momentum, all that, right? And I think when people are establishing culture, it feels like that, but culture becomes a river to where people that come in, they just are swept off to whatever culture. True.

You see that in businesses, right? I know I have. I'm sure you do.

100%.

It's just, there's a vibe to it. It's hard to put a word or a descriptor on it, but, and, and someone walks in, they go, I like it. I like, feel like part of this.

I feel at home. I feel like I can be productive. I feel like it's— that my ideas are welcomed or that I, even if I screw up, I'm still going to belong here.

Yeah.

That's when people can be the most creative, most impactful.

Yeah.

They feel like what they do matters.

Right.

There's a saying by a guy named Anonymous that if people feel like what they do matters, then it will.

Yeah.

And I've always tried not to—

yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Lion's Pride, it's not just you in a one-on-one conversation with a member. There's a group aspect. Why is that having a sense of community so valuable in dealing with stress and dealing with leadership pressures? What's the value in it?

Value is that you realize that you're not the only one that's dealing with it. First of all, that gives you the freedom to be able to go, okay, well, if I'm not the only one dealing with this, what are you guys doing? Yeah, that's how you get those great nuggets of I have a morning routine, or I, you know, I had to start working out. My body was just boiling all the time, stress. Or yeah, we've got some of the most beautiful people on the planet belong to Lions Pride. I'm telling you, and the way that they love each other and the way that they've connected. Yeah, strangers that would have never known. And one of the biggest differences is they come to Expo now and they see each other. Yeah, that's the comment I always get, like Well, we had a couple of friends that we would all— now we go and we see each other and we're just creating that sense of community that people can belong to. It's such a powerful thing. So I'm really proud of what we're doing. Yeah.

I'll tell you what, I have been here as long as I have.

That's what—

obviously not Lions pride. I'm not a member, but just seeing the community of the entire organization is just so special. And these weeks are long weeks, but man, I just feel poured into afterwards. You see how they interact with one another. You see how they look at you and interact with you. And it's, you know, whether, whatever, whatever you're doing, hopefully you come to a certain path, become part of our community, my community.

Sure.

Because it's such an important part. And I think it helps alleviate stress too, to get back to our main thing. When you feel like you're part of something, and as a business owner, you're owned by yourself so often. So find that community so you don't feel like you're alone. Because I think a lot of that goes away when you feel like you're Someone's rowing that boat with you, right?

Sure.

Um, Reddit, thank you so much. Any last thoughts on, on how people can better manage stress in their lives and in their businesses and, yeah, and not take it so, you know, so that they destroy themselves, honestly? Because that's what it can do.

Wake up tomorrow determined to give your life away to somebody else. If you do that every day, then you realize that you don't have a choice and Winning today, you don't have a choice in anything because it's not always about God. If you can turn your, your focus outward instead of always inward, that by itself will alleviate a lot of stress.

Yeah.

We stay in our minds and we think about the things that we need to do and achieve, accomplish.

Yeah.

We would just look up, there's a great big world full of people that you are capable of helping.

Yeah.

That you have enough right now. You possess enough to change a life.

Yeah.

You'll do that. It'll alleviate a lot of that stress and pressure. Love it.

Yep. Good stuff. Thanks, sir. Always appreciate it.

Yeah, my pleasure.

It's fun.

Yep. Thanks, Bob.

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