Kevin Simpson explains why asking customers for referrals backfires. Customers give polite feedback to avoid conflict, so when you ask for referrals afterward, it feels demanding and damages trust. Instead, build genuine relationships with complementary vendors and ask to meet the contractors your customer already works with, creating a natural referral network.
We're told most cases, go to your customer and ask for referral. So imagine this, Amy, I'm an electrician. I come to your house, I fix your electrical, whatever. I say, how was my work? You would likely say you did a good job. Now, what people don't know is the customer almost feels obligated to say that because of social grace. Mm-hmm. If I just finished my electrical work at your house, Amy, and it was effed up, there was a problem, the switches are flickering, it's not perfect. And I said, how did I do? You probably still say you did a good job because the reason we say it is we don't want conflict. Then the second I leave, you're like, Chris, this guy sucked, right? The truth happens behind behind the scenes, but not to my face. So the first thing is we get lied to by our customers. The second thing is most people are told to ask for referrals. So I come to you and say, how was the job? You say good. So I'm like, oh, she liked my flickering light. I then know I'm programmed to say, hey Amy, would you please introduce me to some of your other families, friends in the neighborhood, or perhaps even family that could use electrical services? It's called asking for the referral. Now think about it in your mind, right? This guy kind of sucked. Even if he was great, it doesn't matter. You're also then saying, I just paid you a lot of money, Mike, and you're saying that's not enough? You need more from me? There's an F you. Yeah. But social grace says, oh, let me think about it. I sure have a friend. I'll get back to you. And then we just try to avoid. The reality is it's very offensive to ask for referrals. And yet that's the way we're programmed to run our businesses. That's a grand mistake. And it drives me nuts. I see so many experts online saying, ask for referrals. Here's a referral program. Compensate your clients for referral. It is not the most effective way. It can work in certain circumstances. The most effective way is not to dilute the customer by saying, I can't pay attention to you, you refer me here. It's actually to concentrate on the customer. So instead of saying, how was the work I did? I'd say, Amy, I hope I did a job that you're joyful with. I want to always ensure that I serve you even better. Would you be willing to introduce me to any other contractors you work with that I can talk with them and say, next time I'm installing electrical or repairing electrical, if I know where the studs are in your wall from your cabinetry or carpenter person, that I don't interfere with their work and maybe even compliment it? Would you be willing to do that? In the right context, the customer will say, yeah, because I'm not going elsewhere now. I'm saying, Amy, I wanna serve you better. Right. But what happens behind the scenes, I'm building this relationship with your carpenter or your plumber, and now I can build those relationships and say, listen, I'm installing electrical at Amy's. I know you would do the work there. What can I do to make sure that you shine in Amy's eyes too? And now those vendors are like, this is amazing. This guy cares for me. You're caring for me. Let me introduce you to other people I know. And that naturally comes about. I call it the vendor well.
