The #1 Mistake When Asking for Referrals (And How to Fix It!)

We've been taught that the ask that you make of somebody is go post this thing. Most people, if they go and post something, only about 1 to 5% of their followers will ever see what they've posted. So it's actually a pretty empty ask. And then the other thing is, they might not want to post. That actually is not the right ask for people. What is a better ask is, do you have someone to nominate for for membership? Hi, I'm Gina Bianchini, and this is People Magic, where I show you the absolute easiest way to create a $1 million community. Let's dive in.

How would you get your first 20 members to invite people? I've tried a couple things that haven't worked, and I know I want to motivate my members to be ambassadors. Do I need to pay them?

I love this question because it's probably one of the hardest things to figure out. Like, it is a puzzle. People are super busy. You're. You're just trying to get them to come back. And so the idea of asking them to be ambassadors is pretty scary. And for some people, they're just like, meh, I like your community. This is fun. This is awesome. But, like, I don't want to go out and talk about it. So here's a couple of things that I would get real curious about is how I would describe it. Number one, I would get really curious about, do I have the right ideal member? Like, is my transition as clear as it could be? And also, are the results in transformation? Is that best year ever as clear as it could be? So the first challenge may actually be that those 20 people, they're like, they like it, but they're not getting it enough value from it to talk to people about it. The second thing that I would look at is what is my ask? So we've been taught that the ask that you make of somebody is go post this thing. Most people, if they go and post something, only about 1 to 5% of their followers will ever see what they've posted. So it's actually a pretty empty ask. And then the other thing is, they might not want to post. That actually is not the right ask for people. What is a better ask is, do you have someone to nominate for membership? Same exact thing, but you are getting much more specific. You are making it clear that your community is exclusive. You are building it around this particular transition for these people who are going through that and who value that right now, as if right now is in all caps. And we are creating this to build results in transformation in people's lives so that they can overcome or transcend transitions, take on new challenges with people who are on the same path, take on other paths, and also bring new people in to that first transition. So we've talked about that in previous episodes. So the second thing is really, language matters. When somebody drops into my DMs and is like, hey, Gina, can you share this? Or like, FYI, I just posted this, maybe you'll find it of value. I'll be honest, I get annoyed. I'm like, is my job to just randomly share whatever it is that you think I should share or that I might get value from it? No. Be thoughtful about your ask. Is there someone who you think we could create an equal kind of outcome for? Are there a couple of people that you can give me their email addresses that I could go and introduce myself and let them know that you nominated them for this community because of X, Y or Z reason? So really staying curious, number one, are those 20 people getting results in transformation that matters to them, or are there things that you could do to make it even more valuable? And then that second, that second bucket is, how do you create a sense of specialness that stands out from what everybody else is doing? As you are figuring out what the ask is of your members going forward, you might want to take a step and be like, all right, I just. I'm going to take some nominations and I'm going to reach out to them. It gives you the opportunity to really dial in your offer and understand if that person isn't the right fit for your community. Do they know people? So it might be a little bit more work for the first 20 members, but you will learn so much more that ultimately is going to lead to your network growing itself. Stay on top of the things that are out there in the world that you're motivated to invite somebody into or you're motivated to. To go to that even higher level of like, ooh, actually, I would. I'm going to forward that. What are the. What are the five last things you forwarded to people? What do they have in common? And how could you actually pull that into what you are asking of those 20 members? So, staying curious about your offer and what is that experience of those 20 members staying curious about, who do they know? As the first question, not just being slap dash about, hey, guys, can you share this? I literally, in my DMs right now have 10 people who are just like, sharing things with me to be like, hey, Gina, aren't you gonna Go share this. Well, the other problem with that is, you know, it's a little bit like the Tim Ferriss quote about my inbox is other people's to do lists. That's not what we're doing here. Like, your community needs to be really tight for that particular transition for those ideal members to have their best year ever. Because you're getting them results combined with memorable details. You are getting really clear with your existing 20 members about who you are looking for. And then staying really curious about the kinds of techniques and the kinds of things that you want to share that you see your members sharing those three things will get you further in unlocking your members, inviting in other members than anything else that you can do. I'll add one final thing in that third bucket of staying curious. I was invited a couple weeks ago to a mastermind that I'm in fact going to go to because kind of fired up about it. I have never been to a mastermind with this group before and I know a couple of other people who I'm like, gosh, they're cool. I think that they actually would really like this mastermind. So I reached out to the organizer and I said, you know, these are a couple people and here's what they, here's what they have in common and why I think it could be really cool. And actually I'm going to read what he wrote me back because I thought it was actually really cool. He's like, yeah, the vibe is basically, this person is smart with business, doing interesting things, and I would 100% invite this person to my birthday party because they're awesome. I liked that. I thought that that was actually really specific. So you can even think about how do you get really clear with your members asking them these specific questions about, hey, who are three people that, you know that fit this bill that are really great at business and you would want to invite to your birthday party. And you're, you're not asking them to do anything. You're, you're getting ideas from them. And yes, it's a little more manual right now because you're starting off, but you're going to learn more in this exercise than anything you're going to do by going to this person and being like, oh my God, can you go share this? I would say as a member, and this is just straight up karma as a member, always kind of be the person who has ideas about other people because the reality is not only is that going to strengthen your network and be really fun because you're more Likely to have a great experience if these other people that would fit those two criteria would come to that mastermind. But the person that you are inviting might actually be loyal for life because you thought about them. You included them. You saw them. You saw what they wanted to accomplish, what they're focused on right now. That is what you're trying to create when you're building a community that has an ambassador culture. What I'm describing as being an ambassador, encouraging ambassadors and being really clear with the people that you want to bring so that everybody benefits. What is creating people magic? It is creating a network of people that gets more valuable to every member with each new person who joins. So that person or those. If one or more of the people that I thought of show up at this mastermind and they contribute the way I think they will contribute, yeah, I took a risk. They could be the person who like, dominates the conversation, or they could just be weird. And that's a risk. But if I have helped make a connection that turns into, for example, another million dollars in revenue to either one of those people's businesses or a fifth person that I didn't know going into that mastermind. But the person who I brought and the person who three other people brought are able to make a connection because of great chemistry and great purpose and similar goals and intention. Holy moly. That is how business gets done. That is how impact is created. That is how we unlock innovation. That is how we unlock creativity. And that is also how we have a hell of a lot more fun. Now there is a time and a place for affiliates. It tends to be when you're a lot bigger and you're scaling from like a thousand to five thousand or, you know, fifty thousand, but don't skip a step. A lot of new people, a lot of newbies are like, well, I'm gonna. I'm gonna offer an affiliate so that. So that people will invite other people. Cause they're gonna get paid. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way. All you're doing is cheapening your community and the value that you're bringing and the probability that they're going to invite because you're paying them versus that they really want to provide value for the people that they're nominating. Now, I recognize that this is a controversial perspective. There are plenty of places where get rich quick schemes are alive and well and tend to start with make money by doing X. And by the way, I'll give you $100 for everybody you bring into my make Money doing X webinar or course or membership. In my experience and in the data that I have seen, you might get somebody to do something once, but the churn rate or the cancel rate on those kinds of very transactional communities is extremely high. You're not building something durable. You're not building something that is providing value for people. You can do it. But what I would encourage you not to do is conflate the two things. I'm going to build a meaningful, durable community that I'm monetizing through a paid membership that provides results and transformation in people's lives that they're going to stick around with, that we as members are going to go through life together. I'm going to create this really valuable mastermind that to charge $20,000 a year for because I'm targeting people who are in the 100 or $250,000 in revenue business and I'm going to bring them to, we're going to, we're going to get to 500,000 or a million together. Very hard to do that and get your members to nominate other members, bring in new people. If you're also trying to conflate it with a get rich quick scheme that results in, you know, somebody inviting because they want to get a hundred bucks, your quality is going to be lower. I have a bias. Start with intrinsic motivation. Start with nominations. Start with the value proposition of what you're building. Layer on affiliates or, you know, referral fees later on after you've really cracked the code on how to get your first 20 members to invite your next 20 members. Fantastic question. Thank you for joining me. This is People Magic. I'm Gina Bianchini and I will see you in the next episode. Thank you for being a part of People Magic. If you want more of a deep dive in any of these topics, but certainly having the framework of People Magic profit, head on over to the website. The link is in the show notes. Have your own burning question about creating People Magic? Well, I want to answer it. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to just drop your question in the review section, wherever you're listening to this podcast and keep tuning in.