DifficultPeople 2023 HBR

PDF · 28 May 2026

The report, produced by the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, offers a practical guide for handling difficult counterparts in negotiations. It begins by categorising hard‑bargaining personalities into three types – accidental, reluctant and intentional – and explains how each stems from hidden motivations, cognitive biases or strategic choices. The authors (Katherine Shonk, Susan Hackley, Robert C. Bordone and others) then present concrete tactics for each type: allowing time, modelling collaborative behaviour, probing constraints, clarifying limits, involving third parties and documenting discussions. A central framework is William Ury’s five‑step “breakthrough negotiation” (go to the balcony, disarm, reframe, build a golden bridge, make it hard to say no). The report illustrates these ideas with two detailed case studies – Marty Spence’s weekend‑vacation conflict with his boss and Jessica’s negotiation with hotel owner Charlie – showing how active listening, probing interests, multiple proposals, walk‑away preparation, coalition‑building and face‑saving bridges can rescue or reshape a deal. The document concludes with a concise list of ten additional strategies for dealing with “deal spoilers,” ranging from setting behavioural standards to accepting a firm “no.” Throughout, the guide blends scholarly insight (citing Max Bazerman, Deepak Malhotra, Leigh Thompson, etc.) with actionable advice for executives, managers and anyone facing a difficult person in personal or professional contexts. Promotional material about Harvard’s executive‑education programs follows the substantive content.

Topics

Typology of Hard Bargainers: Accidental, Reluctant, Intentional

Defines three categories of difficult negotiators, explains underlying motivations—cognitive bias, hidden constraints, or strategic aggression—and links each to specific diagnostic questions.

Tactics for the Accidental Hard Bargainer

Recommends bias‑mitigation steps: give time, model trade‑offs, avoid cornering language; draws on Max Bazerman’s research on cognitive shortcuts.

Approaches to the Reluctant Hard Bargainer

Advocates probing hidden interests, uncovering deadlines, legal or budgetary constraints, and offering flexible solutions to ease perceived pressures.

Handling the Intentional Hard Bargainer

Outlines boundary‑setting, coalition‑building, and documentation tactics to counter manipulative aggression and protect one’s own interests.

Breakthrough Negotiation Five‑Step Framework

Presents William Ury’s stepwise method—balcony (emotional distance), disarm (step to their side), reframe (change the game), golden bridge (save face), make it hard to say no (use power and alternatives).

Case Study: Marty Spence’s Weekend‑Work Dilemma

Applies the breakthrough steps to a boss‑employee conflict, illustrating how reframing and joint problem‑solving can avoid a win‑lose outcome.

Case Study: Jessica & Charlie – Reviving a Stalled Hotel Deal

Shows ten practical strategies in action, from setting behavior norms to building coalitions, to rescue a deal threatened by a hard‑bargaining owner.

Ten Additional Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People

A concise checklist covering behavior standards, label avoidance, probing motives, multiple proposals, walk‑away preparation, emotional sharing, calibrated concessions, coalition building, and accepting a final no.

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