How to Activate High Performance & Live Your Best Life with Jairek Robbins (Part I)

Welcome back to Real Estate Business Builders. My name is Lars Hedenborg. I'm the founder of Real Estate B School. And we are in the midst of sharing from an insider's view what goes on in Real Estate B School. So we had a Business Growth Digital Summit recently and we had eight unbelievably powerful transformative speakers and this next one was just awesome. I had the pleasure of meeting jerick robbins probably 10 years ago and he has dedicated his life to bringing out the best in terms of our human potential and making sure that while we're climbing the mountain of worldly success and crushing it in business, we don't let go of the areas that matter most to us. Our family, our relationships, our physical body. And man, he brought it. It's going to be a two part episode, so make sure you hang in there for both parts. And he just brings his best stuff. And based on the feedback that he was getting from us live in the session, he went where exactly he needed to go to which was really spoke to me powerfully. So stay tuned. This is part one of a two part series from Jerick Robbins from our Business Growth Digital Summit Real Estate B School. And if you're at the point in your journey, the only plug I'll have here is that you should grab a copy of our Business Growth Navigator. Go to realestate Business Growth. That's realestate Business Growth Dot com. Stay tuned for part one of Jerick Robbins and we'll see you there.

Nice to see you all. I switched my screen so I have the cool like Brady Bunch thing. I can see you all. How are y' all doing? Good. This one will be interactive. Let me see. Does that change my camera on here or do I need to screen share? It does. Okay, cool. So what I want you to do real quick is we're going to draw a line down the middle of our page and on one side I want you to write is and on the other side just ought. So is and ought, that's where we're going to start. And with it in the is section, I want you to draw three circles. I want you to draw a big circle, I want you to draw a medium circle and I want you to draw a little circle. So we got a big circle, a medium circle and a little circle. And what I'm going to ask you is if I were to go to your calendar, if I were to go to your calendar, I need you to tell me the circle, the size of the circle is how much time, something currently, or how Much time. Another to say it is how much space something currently takes up in your life. Now, time and space are two different things. Time might be how much actual physical time is allocated to it on your calendar. Space is how much. Let me draw this so you could see it. If this was you, I'll warn you, my art skills are out of this universe. It. Well, if this was you, those are muscles. If this was you with giant muscles doing big things in the world, then what I need to know is when I say space, if this is how much mental space is available, how much space do you have allocated in your mind? Meaning have you dedicated any space that you go. You know what, this space right here, these thoughts. Nothing gets to exist in this part of my mind except for this category of my life that I've put in there. Nothing else is allowed in that space. That's my thinking time for that category of my life. And you know what? This space over here, this space, nothing's allowed in this space except for this category of my life, though the rest of my space, that can get kind of soaked up by everything but these two spaces in my mind and my emotions in my being. Nothing is allowed to exist in these spaces except for the topics I consciously put there. I'm a pause for a second. How many of you just realized you have a choice on what gets into your space? Right. I'm seeing smiles already going, oops, wow, I didn't know I was supposed to consciously choose what's allowed in and not into my space. How many of you also have children? Well, that screws everything up. That pretty much just goes like this with all the space. I'm just kidding. I have a two and a half year old and it's more challenging with children because children don't respect obviously the clear boundary you set with them on your mental space. And so on Thursdays at 2, you have to let them know that this mental space is for mom and dad and no one else. That's clearly when they kick in the front door and light everything on fire and flip the kitchen upside down there. Cheyenne knows four kids and one on the way. My God. Yeah, These boundaries are much more difficult to uphold during children periods of life. But some of you will look at this and have a huge story as to why you let your clients take up all the extra space, even though you've told yourself, I'm holding that space for me. How many of you do that? You have some personal space that you, you allocate for yourself and then your clients just Eat it all up. Oh, yeah, definitely. And so when we talk about space, there's both calendar space, and then there's kind of this mental and emotional space that we just talked about. So I'm gonna zoom back out. Big circle, small circle, little circle. Here's the categories. You have your relationships, you have yourself, and then you have work or your business. I need you to pick which goes in which circle according to your calendar and space right now. So if I were to go open your calendar, what takes up the most space? If I were to open your calendar and look, what takes up the next most amount of space? And then third category. What takes up the final amount of space for you? What's the big one for you? Just type it in the chat box for me. What takes up the most amount of space for you? There we go. Anyone see a pattern? It's okay. What takes up the second most? So. So hold on. Let me do a break real quick so we can see. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Break. I always put a break so I can see kind of where the line was. So now the second most. What takes up the second category for you all? Okay. Okay. So it. It's a battle between self and relationships that I can see here. And then break. Let me throw in another break now. What takes up the third? A little too early. What takes up the third category? Self. Okay, so what I'm observing, not for all of us, but for the majority of us, it looks like we've got this going on. We've got work, relationships, and self. That's what I'm kind of observing, at least from the chat section now. How do you want it to be? Meaning, if you could have it all your way, what would go in each circle? How ought it need to be? How is. Is what it is right now. Ought is what ought to be. If I could have it all my way, here's what my life would look like. If I got to choose what time and space things took up in my life, and here's how I would choose it would go. What I often observe from my clients is they wish it could be relationship, self, work. There's an asterisk. As long as the amount of money I make here still covers the life I want to live, that's the asterisk. As long as the amount of money I make at work still covers the life I want to live with the ones I love. But I wish I could put my relationships first and then take care of myself. How many of you are mothers in here? Yeah, y'. All might need to do this one, y'. All. Maybe not 100%, but y' all might need to do self, relationship, then work. Because as a mom, what I've noticed is, can anyone complete this phrase, it takes a village to raise a family, raise a family, raise a child. That's right. But how many of us have left the village? Most of us have separated from community, yet still realize it takes community to raise a family and raise a child. We're trying to do the work of a community by ourselves. That's. Oops. I live in Puerto Rico. We just got smashed by a hurricane. Not as bad as Florida, but pretty bad. And what I've noticed, in times of maximum chaos, relationships matter more than everything else. In times of maximum chaos, relationships matter more than everything else. Because when we ran out of propane the other day for our generator, didn't matter how much money I had. In that moment, everyone had money. It mattered how. Well, relationship I've built with the gentleman who drives the propane truck, whether he's going to stop here or somewhere else first, and that that gentleman's going to take care of his friends and family first and then get to the list of people with money in whatever order they called. And if I don't have a relationship, he's not going to come here first. And so just thinking about that, sometimes moms need a little more self time just to reboot, kind of regenerate, then relationships, then work. But what we've noticed is there's usually how it is. And someone support said, please tell me how. I'm guessing the question is, how do we get this so that we can put. Let's just go back to that ideal or that concept of relationships, then self and then work is the small one. How do we redo our life so that that becomes true? Well, I'll ask you, what order do you log things in your calendar each week? What order? When you take up your calendar and you're going to map out the next seven days, what are the first things you put into your calendar? Because I always say you put the most important stuff first, right? So when you open your calendar, you should plan in the most important things first. And if you look at the pattern most. Yeah, Jessica. Got it. Oops. Right? Oops. I open my calendar and I put the most important things in first. And by God, I just filled it with work. And then I tried to figure out, how do I get, you know, how do I squeeze some space in for my family and the kids that need me and Then, oh, crap, I ran out of space. There's nothing left for me. Well, I guess I'll wake up at 2am with David Goggins and try to get some workout in before. Before the work and the kids and everything else, right? I love David, but I think life is hard enough. We don't have to make it any harder. And so this concept of, huh, I wonder what would happen. And I'm just going to propose this as a test. I need you to go do the. Do the results or the experiment here. My hypothesis is, I wonder if you were to spend the next 30 days planning life in a different order, if you'd have a radically different experience of your life. That's it for 30 days each week. So you're going to do it four times. I just want you to plan either yourself or your relationships in first, then plan, work and see what happens. Because has anyone noticed the stuff that you don't have time for can magically get done very quickly? Right before a vacation, how many of you turn into superhuman you before a vacation? Like the house gets clean, the laundry's done, my God, the roof's redone, every client is reorganized. So, you know, work is leveraged to the team. Holy hell. Right before a vacation, magic you shows up and then you're gone for a week and everything seems to work right. But during a normal week, we, we have the mantra, the story of, oh, there's not enough time to get everything done this week, right? So in order to get different results, you need a different strategy. In order to get different results, you need a different strategy. Jennifer. Oops. Yeah. All of us do this right before a vacation. We use a different strategy than our normal strategy. That's interesting. Right before a vacation, we have a different strategy that seems to get everything done in 24 hours or less. That usually takes seven days. And if we ask ourselves, why, why does that happen? My hallucination is if we were to draw, this is the vacay, the vacation, and this is the period of time before. And we go, ooh, if I don't get it done by the starting line, this is the starting line of vacation. If I don't get it done by here, then this is not going to be as fun as I want it to be. Therefore, I have a deadline by when and a very limited amount of time available in order to get this done. So we limit the amount of time and we give ourselves a clear starting line to vacation, and all of a sudden magic us shows up and gets it all done. Now what if instead of vacation, we went, well, this is me time. This is family time. This is health time. This is whatever other times we need. Therefore, I must get all this work stuff done in this amount of time before I have time set aside for all these important things. Therefore, I block the important things out first and limit the amount of time I have for work. And all of a sudden, my productivity. Five X's. What you'll notice is the less amount of time you give yourself to get something done, the more productive you become. That's usually a light bulb moment. The less amount of time you give yourself to do something, the more quickly you get it done. It seems obvious, but it's true. If you limit the amount of time your productivity shoots up. For most of us, the reason we don't get as much done every week is because we give ourselves too much time to get it done. It messes with most people's heads. They go, what? I kept telling myself, I don't have enough time. The truth is, you keep giving yourself too much time. Limit the amount of time. Now, when you limit the amount of time, what happens to a person's emotions? What magically shows up when you have not enough time? How do you feel if I said, hey, here's a really important project. I need it done immediately. Look at how many people put stress and pressure now by raise of hands. How many of you love stress and pressure? Like, you live for it? That's your game, man. Stress and pressure shows up. You're like, like, ooh, game time. That's me. Put me in. I'm ready. No, y' all hate it. Now, here's what's funny. Do the best people on earth, love or hate stress and pressure. Pick a category. Race car driver, basketball player, tennis pro. I mean, pro golfer. And that's a slow sport. But, like, think of any category, the best on earth, love, stress and pressure. That's when they know everyone else is eliminated except for them and only the others who can handle it. Everyone else is eliminated. The only people left are you and them. Now you have the real game. The real game is not surviving against the masses. It's surviving against the 10 other people that can hang on under massive stress and pressure. Any of you in the military or have been you? Thank you for your service. First, all. Second, I got to do a training with the special operations group. It was the special tactics in the Air Force Pararescue jumpers. They brought me in to do a half day of training for them, and in return, they gave me A day and a half of their training. So the first thing they did is tied me up and threw me in the pool and drown proofed me. Then they let me drive their, you know, they let me not drive it, but sit in the passenger seat while they drove their off. Road buggies and Hummers and stuff like that. They let me shoot all their weapons, which was really fun. I now have a deep fascination for wanting to own a.50 caliber rifle, even though there is no general use I will ever legally be able to use it for. But it's just, it was so cool to shoot that I was like, dang, I need one of these. There's no use for it in my life, but it's fun. And so all these things happened. And the coolest part was I got to sit with the person who hand picks who makes it through the training and who doesn't. And I asked them, I said, what's the number one thing you look for in this group? And he said, in the, I think it was eight weeks or nine weeks, people will show up, some of which do not know how to swim. They've never been in the water before. And when we're done with them here, they will be able, on one breath without a push off the wall to go underwater, hands and feet tied, swim across the pool, go down to the bottom, untie themselves, put on their mask, put on their snorkel, put on their gear, come to the surface and clear their snorkel all on one breath in an Olympic sized pool. I was like, dude, I can't do that and I surf and stuff. And he said, exactly. We train people how to become the best in this area. And I said, well, tell me more about this group. He said, this group is basically paramedics for the special operations groups. So think Navy Seal, Army Ranger, these types. If someone like that goes down in the front line, this is the group of people that fight their way in, rescue the human, and fight their way out with the human under heavy combat conditions. Stuff's exploding, bullets are flying. One of these humans in every group has a backpack on with that. When they find the human, they take their backpack off and have an entire surgery kit in their backpack. And they begin to do surgery under open fire and heavy warfare conditions on a human whose life is in risk of dying. In that moment, I was like, talk about pressure and stress. My God. I mean, it's hard enough to do surgery on a human. Try doing it while being shot at. Like, that's a whole different game. I mean, you're trying not to get taken out while you're trying to save someone else's life. But I paused and stepped back and I said, this group is cool. The reason I like this group is they're willing to risk their life so that other people can continue living. I went, I like that. I like this group. Their creed is first there that others may live. Their job as a first responder is to get there and save someone's life under extreme conditions. I went, I really like these people. I'm gonna make them better. And I said, what's the one thing you look for? Is it talent, skill? Resilience? Grit? What is it? And they said, the number one thing we look for in these people on if they're gonna make it or not is mental resilience. I was like, okay, that sounds tough, but what is it? And they said, mental resilience is so simple. Here. When we ask you to do 50 pushups, when you get to 49 and a half and we go, okay, do 50 more, it's the person who doesn't even wince and just drops back down and comes right back up without thought. It's the person that, when they have a destination set that they're moving towards and they're here and they're going, and they're trying to arrive here, and they're going, going, going, going, going, going, going. Right when they're right here and about to have a victory and put their flag and say, we did it, and the destination becomes here, they don't even blink. They go, okay, and they just keep moving. And then it changes the here, and they go, no problem. Keep moving. And it changes the here. And they go, okay. They don't even blink. It doesn't phase them. They don't get upset. They don't get frustrated. They don't second guess it. They literally go, okay, and keep walking forward. He goes, that is the number one sign we look for if someone's going to succeed in this or not now when. Shit. That kind of reminds me of real estate. Kind of reminds me of real estate. How many of you have been this close to closing a deal, right? You were that close and the X moved and you went, oh, what the heck happened? I told you not to buy a new car the day before closing. Damn it. Why are you doing that? Your credit score just changed. What are you thinking? Like, something changed right there, right? Something just. You were this close. You were literally right near the X. It was like five feet away. And bingo, something changes where your ex is at. How many of you realize that's kind of like life, right? My dad always says, trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life will change. Trade your expectations for appreciation. When you start to expect that, you're this close and you expect it to end, and then it doesn't. Your expectations are the things that throw you for a loop, not reality. Reality is you gotta walk five feet further. Big deal. Keep going. The expectation of I didn't think I had to walk the five feet is what hurts our feelings, frustrates us, upsets us, and overwhelms us. It's the expectation throws us off, not reality. Walking five feet is easy, but expecting not to have to walk five feet and then having to walk five feet, oh, that's devastating. And so when we look at our life, number one, if we want our life to be a little different than it is, then it's not changing our expectations that's going to do it. It is changing our strategy. Planning the most important stuff in first, if we need to get more done in less time, that means we need to start by giving ourselves less time so we can get it done quicker. And we need to block off the time for the things that matter most and not let anything interfere with it. And that's super challenging. You know, I find it challenging. Just like the person doing surgery in open fire with bombs blowing up, they can't let anything interfere with their focus while they're getting the job done, because if they do, either they die, or in this case, their client or the person getting surgery dies. They can't let anything interfere with their focus. In that morning, they got to stay late in that moment, they got to stay laser focused. Yet you got to release expectation. You have to allow expectation to release. Now, if we look at that, then we're willing to adjust, we're willing to be flexible and move to where the X is within the given period of time. Given period of time. Now, what's fascinating is if we. Is this useful so far? Is it getting you to think. I'm just watching some of your faces. Okay, cool, cool. So if we look at that and we say, okay, now what do we do if relationships are going to come first? Is there a formula for how to absolutely make sure the relationship is insanely healthy? And I went and got certified in something. Let me see if I could find it real quick. I went and got certified with a group that teaches people about 30 years of research they did on over 3,000 couples. And they came up with an exact formula that when you do it, the Relationships work. And when you don't, relationships fall apart. And so, nope, that's not it. Where is it? Let me grab their diagram real quick. And this one was so useful because I never had anyone who showed me, like, here is exactly what to do if you want it to work. And if you mess these things up, it'll be the exact thing that causes it to fail. No one ever made it that clear on relationships. Here it is. And so how many of you are familiar with John and Julie Gottman? Have you heard of them before? A few people. Oh, my gosh. Every hand should go up if you want to screenshot something. You're definitely going to want to screenshot this. This is them doing 30 years of research on 3,000 couples from every background, situation, pairing, type, orientation, and everything else in between. And they found when these seven things are present, the relationship lasts. And when any of these seven things are regularly messed up, the relationship falls apart. Done. I was like, damn, that's really useful. No one taught me this before I got into my first relationship. You know, I mean, I kind of counted on people that went before me and didn't quite know what they were doing. And I was like, well, shoot, dang. No one taught them either. And then I went back a generation, and no one taught that one and no one taught that one. And I was like, man, no one is teaching us how to do this. And so I looked at this, and let's relate it both ways. This is both personal relationship and business relationship. I think if these principles work in an intimate relationship, they probably work in a business relationship too. We just have to interpret what it means in the business world instead of just having it in personal. Number one is build love maps. What does that mean? That means look into the future and create a vision for where you're going and what it looks like. And you have to understand theirs and they have to understand yours. If I had a new client, I would ask them, please help me see what 10 years in your future looks like and how I can play a part in it. I need to know. They're like, I don't see you in my Future more than 30 days, I go, okay, shoot. How's that relationship going to work out? I mean, at least they're honest. But my God, if you don't see us working together in 10 years, why should we put all the effort in up front? That's kind of silly. Why don't we find a relationship that we'd like to be in relationship with 10 years from now? And the reason I use 10 years is the hardest client to get is a client for the first time. If you have a client for 10 years, you build a relationship with them. They know like and trust you. And the way they buy from you every year might not be buying another house each year, it might be getting a referral to you that they buy. And if every quarter they buy from you, that means four quarters a year you're getting a referral that purchases, lists, or sells from someone who is in a deep relationship with you, they're regularly buying from you, which means over and over again, they're choosing you. Over and over again, they're saying, oh, you have to work with Jennifer, you have to work with Stacy, you have to work with Lars, you have to work with Cheyenne, you have to. And they're bringing people to you. And technically buying from you every 90 days, that's a totally different relationship than someone who like, oh, I mean, people buy a house every three years and, you know, I keep in contact just in case they're ready to buy or list. It's like, no, they should be buying from you every 90 days. Every 90 days there should be a campaign that gets every person you've sold or bought from or with to buy from you. Again, every 90 days, they should be sending you a referral. That's normal, that's standard if you have a great relationship. Because you should be constantly revving up that conversation to where they want to do that.

Thanks for listening. Would you please take a minute to share the show with other agents who may be struggling? And if you love the podcast, please leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. And make sure you visit ScaleOrDiebook.com to get a free copy of my book. It's a nuts and bolts guide to building a real estate business that gives you true time and money freedom so that you can live your life without regrets. Thanks again and see you on the next episode.