How to Thrive in a Hustle Culture with Christine Lee (Part I)

What's up, Real estate business builders? This is Lars Hedinborg, the founder of Real estate B School. And we're in the midst of sharing the sessions from our business growth Digital Summit. And if you missed them, you need to go back. We had Aaron Novello. We had Jarrick Robbins. We had Wally Bressler. This next speaker had achieved at a very, very high level in the real estate world, running a top team in the country, then shifted into tech and systems with Seize the Market. Christine Lee brought it during the digital Summit. I mean, she really convicted me. In this hustle culture, what does it take to slow down and calm your mind so that you know you are working the plan that you're intended to work? So this is part one of part two series here where Christine Lee just lays it out, and it's really, really powerful. So stay tuned. You're gonna love it. If you haven't grabbed a free copy of my book yet, go to ScaleOrDieBook.com ScaleOrDieBook.com I lay out my entire journey, how I went. And this was during the great recession years. I went from no license to 453 transactions in a single year. A handful of years later, and I got into real estate when the market was shifting and went to complete crap. We went from 15,000 agents in our market to 5,000. So grab a copy scaleordivebook.com and I hope you enjoy this session. I know that it changed my perspective quite a bit, so enjoy.

All right, well, good morning slash afternoon, depending on what time zone you are at. And, yeah, today's topic is about hustle. So let me go ahead and share my screen real quick. So give me a quick second. May I have shared permissions, please, Yoda?

Yeah, I can figure that out. Let's see here. And if somebody else can figure out quicker than me. There we go. All right. Make co host. All right.

I press the wrong button. One second.

You should be. You should be co host now.

Okay, cool. So today's topic is the truth about hustle. And, you know, we live in a culture of rise and grind, celebrate it. We think it's awesome. But before I start talking about you guys, I'll just share a little bit about, like, what my hustle looked like. So I'm sure in the world of real estate and us being entrepreneurs, we're like, hustle is good. Like, hustle is what we want. I loved hustle. Like, hustle was like, I don't know, dare I say, almost a drug for me. Because without hustle, where would I be, I mean, like, I live to get up to go and just like, just charge the day, take over, want to dominate the market, the world, whatever it is that I'm doing. And I would do everything around hustling. Not that I did it consciously, not that I woke up and said, oh, I want to hustle today, but that, that energy, that spirit of just like going grinding and hustling looked like this. Okay, when I'm walking up the stairs, I couldn't just walk up the stairs. I had to run up the stairs. Why? Because I heard one day that, oh, this guy, he was such a hustler. Like, he was, he was always so high energy, so go, go, go. That he didn't just run up the stairs. I mean, he didn't just walk, he ran. So in my mind, that planted a seed of like, you know what? That's a really good idea. Why walk? I mean, when you can run. So I would run up the stairs, I would run down the stairs when I just wanted to get a drink of water. I would be drinking water with one hand and then doing something else with the other hand. Like multitasking. Part of the hustle package is multitasking. Oh, yeah. How well can we multitask when we see people, meet people, hire people? Oh my gosh. When I'm hiring people, I would look for the hustle, truth be told, I would look for a little bit or a lot of workaholicism, right? People. I wanted to have workaholics so they would just like work their butts off and I wouldn't have to like drag them up a hill to work. And so, like, hustle was a prize. It was a badge of honor, it was a trophy. It was a good thing. Like, if you didn't have hustle in my mind, it's like not as cool, not as productive. You're not going to be as successive successful. It was a. It was a mark of someone who had successful trades, right? And so it was like hailed as like this thing that's awesome and that's good. And like, I couldn't even listen to an audio book at me. One or two XP, like if there was a 3x speed, I'd be listening to audiobooks at 3x. It was insane. My brain was constantly on the go and I had to be consuming something, doing something, sitting still, forget it. Right? Like, that's for losers. Right? Like still peace. That's for losers. So I don't know if you can relate to that at all. But I mean, that's how I thought. I mean, like, Hustle was it. And so that's kind of how it looked like and showed up in my life. But. And I did that for many, many, many, many, many, many years. And, you know, eventually it came to the point where that was my mindset, my culture. And eventually, let me tell you what, it just flat out, like, ended up in burnout. Like, nothing else. Literally. It was just like, run myself into the ground. And I thought. I don't know, I guess I thought I was super human being powers. I thought I could go on forever. I thought my battery was, like, endless, because compared to everybody else around me, it kind of felt that way. I mean, you know, because you would hear things like, oh, wow, she's a go getter. Oh, wow, she gets things done. Oh, wow. Nothing's gonna stop her. You know, you hear things like that, and it's like this, attaboy, pat on the back, and it kind of feeds you, right? And so for me, it made it worse. And then I crashed and burned at one point. So that was how Hustle showed up in my life. So I just want to go into that conversation with you guys and unpack this and see maybe, perhaps I can prevent some burnout. I can prevent some breaking the. The. The carcasses that are left in the wake of Hustle. Perhaps I can prevent some of those for you today. So, as we continue, what is Hustle? Right, Lars, talk to me here. To you, what is hustle? Like, what. What does it mean to you? And how do we define this?

Yeah, so to me, I would say hustle's almost like an. It's an unnatural response to what's going on in your life and business. So my wife jokes with me. There's a. There's a video. I don't know what platform it's on, but it's this guy that does everything super fast. Like, if he's cleaning the house or if he's, like, you know, getting something from the refrigerator, he's just, like, always in, like, double, triple speed. And so to me, the Hustle, in terms of this conversation, it would show up, like, being nervous about my finances when there's no reason to be, or my response to a problem in the business is for me to jump in and work overdrive on it. So it's just a bunch of unthoughtful, unnatural, uncalled for responses. And. And it doesn't sort of let, let, let go. It's not like I'm going 0 to 60. I'm. I'm like 60 to 100, you know, so I'm never coming down into, like, you know, if you've seen the movie Old School, where Vince Vaughn, they. It's the morning after where they're at the estate, and he's like, I'm just gonna. I'm going to put this thing in neutral. I'm going to cool the jets. Like, it's not being able to put it in neutral.

Yep. And I mean, if. If I may give you another visual, it's like you're a rat on acid, right? Like, you're just freaking going crazy. So I just pulled up. I'm like, hey, what does, like, Webster Dictionary have to say about this? Or just online Google. So it's busy. Movement and activity. Okay, that sounds pretty decent. Then it's like to make strenuous efforts to obtain pain, especially money or business. It's like, okay, well, now you're talking. And then there's to make someone move quickly by pushing or pulling them along. So when I looked at that, I'm like, huh? When we. When we're like in hustle mode or hustle lifestyle, right. It's almost as if something we can't quite put our fingers on and maybe it's our own head, so we tell ourselves is like, compelling us to go quickly and pushing us. So, you know, I'm just gonna throw this out there before we, you know, talk about it further. It's like, hey, are we getting hustled into hustling by our own head or some, you know, like, kind of life variable? So just kind of sit on that for a little bit and let's take a look at how do we value hustle, right? And so I just pulled up quotes about hustle, and this is kind of like, what's out there every day is a hustle. Good things happen to those who hustle. Success is 10% and success is 10% talent and 90% hustle. Let your hustle be louder than your words, right? Without hustle, talent will only carry you so far. So hustle, like, is this, like, this necessity an essential. It's a required ingredient to being successful. So we already think that hustle is good. Like, we should have more of it. You don't have any at all here. Have a basket full of hustle because you're missing out. So that's the mindset that we currently have about hustle. And I'm here to say, like, that's not the truth. That's society's version of hustle. That's society's Values. So I want to bust some myths today and go into what is the price of hustle? Okay, so you could put shiny little sparkly things on anything that you want, but when you look at its fruit, right? When you start looking at what price did you have to pay? Let's take a closer look at the real price of hustle. So the first is spouse relationships, right? And yes, I put it there. Neglect and abuse. Because what ends up happening first is that, you know, your loved ones, your. Your spouse, your children, your family, they get neglected in your hustle, right? And when you go into a deeper, like, study about neglect and emotional verbal abuse, like, neglect is actually abuse. I know it sounds harsh, but let's put it this way. If you saw a dog in someone's yard and they were never getting fed and their bones were starting to show through and you can see every single one of their rib cages, would it be likely that some neighbor would report that person for neglect and abuse of an animal? If there was a child that was sitting out on the front doorstep, rain or shine, rainy or snowing, and nobody was feeding it, and this baby has been crying for days, like, wouldn't that parent, if they were sitting inside watching tv, get, like, reported and lose their parental rights for neglect and abuse? Right? So those are extreme examples. But what I'm saying here is that in your hustle, the price that you're paying is that your spouse, your kids, your friendships, your relationships, they get neglected and therefore abuse. And I know nobody comes out here saying, I'm going to abuse my family and my loved ones, but what if that's the truth about the price that you're paying of for hustle? And then there's physical health. Like, oh, yeah, sleeplessness, mental health, can't think, can't, can't think, can't drink. You're always waking up in the middle of the night or you can't go to sleep because you're like, oh, I'm missing something. Oh, I forgot to do that. Like, you can't turn it off, right? And what is it? You pay the price of hustle in your business operations? So, like, oh, my gosh, my core team, before my hustle kind of got into check, I would drive by team. Like, the hustle was so, like, intense. I didn't even have to tell somebody to hustle. And they would just feel the hustle oozing out of me, and they would feel the pressure, they would feel the stress. They would just, like, kick it into high gear, and it would not be Good for them. Right? Internal relationships on the team. Like, the way I interacted with my team members, whether it's my admin or my other agents, like, it was like, let's get to it. You know, when they come to touch me with something and be like, okay, what's your point? Like, get to the bottom line. Right. Let's not have too much fluff around here. And please, let's not talk about emotions or feelings. Can we spare this conversation? Emotions and feelings that have no factual basis. Right. Like, that was me. And like I said, eventually after all that hustle, it led to burnout. Like. Right. And I didn't even know I was crashing and burning. No, it's just kind of like the ebbs and flows, but it's like a stock market going down. Like, it's. You're like, hey, I've got plenty of energy. And it, like, gradually dwindles. Right. And so you start. Just don't even know. It's like a frog being boiled in water one degree at a time until finally you're, like, getting seared and burned. So I'm here to tell you that the hustle lifestyle is a ticking time bomb.

Go back to that slide here. Get in the chat, if you're willing to.

Where.

Where do you see in. In your life and your business, where do you see the. The price of hustle right now? I know for me, for sure, you know, in. In different seasons with. With my family, in terms of, you know, my. My stated priorities would be, you know, God, family, and business, and my actual priorities according to where I spent my business, you know, you know, family and God. Sort of like the splitting 10% of my focus.

Yep. And it's like. And I think that's a really great indicator. It's like, you can say what it is that you want your values to be, but time. Use time as your measuring stick, and that'll be the true indicator of what your values are. Right?

Yeah. And a lot of physical health interrelationships. Exhaustion, that's another thing, too. When I was in the heavy build, hashtag rise and grind, years of real estate. My physical health was the thing that if I could go back in time, I would not have. I would not have sacrificed that. Brandy's definitely felt burnout. Friendships, food choices, nutrition, exercise, sleep and family being present. Kids, relationships. Madeline's hit the burn out just now coming back, and it hit. It hit all of these areas. Katherine's currently working on connecting with her Social sisterhood. Physical, mental, mental. No focus. Yeah, that's the crazy thing, too. It's like you get to the point where you're actually not able to focus on the things that really matter. Stress and anxiety, mental health and. God, relationships. Cullen doesn't hustle. Good for you, Colin. Personal time, not present. Yeah. Really good, guys. And this is the stuff, you know, honestly, this is the stuff that nobody really talks about, especially in real estate, you know? So I appreciate you guys really hanging in and leaning into this conversation. This is the stuff that only gets talked about when it's. When it's after the fact, when there is a breakdown, when there is, you know, a divorce or when there is a physical illness or when there is, you know, so we just don't. We don't want that to happen, so. Really good. All right.

Awesome. Awesome. And so glad that you guys are just kind of taking a look into yourselves and, you know, just checking it out. So let's get real now. A little bit more real talk is like, why do we hustle, right? Because the label that we love to put on it. The label I love to put on it is because it's fun. I like success. I like building. I like growth. You know, like, all the healthy labels that we put on it that look like something that we can wear as a badge of honor, you know, a good trophy, and there's a lot of that. But if we were to really take a deeper look, anybody who is out of balance, there's something that was out of balance that's making them more out of balance in their hustle, right? Like, I don't have anything against good work ethic, right? And working hard. Like, I'm still that. But when there is a weird kind of like a perverted twist to productivity, and it comes out in the form of unbalanced hustle, let's take a look at some of the common reasons that's really, really driving it. Okay? And so one is, obviously, there's the top layer. There's, like, ego, right? Like, I want to look at. I want to be number one. I mean, I know, like, in our group, Larv, I don't know how you felt, but, man, we had. We were in a room of, like, overachievers in, like, rate. And it's a great group group. So I'm not knocking the group, but I mean, like, that type of energy, like, it spins you further, right?

You feel like a. A loser. Like, man, that guy's selling, like, 600 homes. Like, that's what I need to do. It's like, I'm a loser. I'm only doing 300. I know I'm. I'm half the person.

I know you're only doing three. It's like, oh, my gosh, like, and so there's ego, and then you go a little bit deeper. And it's like, what I've experienced, even for myself and a lot of others, is that there's a lot of people that grew up without money that are in real estate, and they're like, oh, my gosh, like, this is my chance. You know, I grew up poor. I didn't even know what money was. Like, I, you know, our family couldn't put food on the table, or I never really got to buy what I want. And so, like, this whole piece of providing and success, it. It stems from childhood experiences and your relationship with money and, like, that there's not enough, so I have to, like, get it while it's fun, right? And then it actually morphs into once that person starts having children and family, then it's like, especially as a man, it's like, oh, I'm providing for my family, right? Like, you can't knock that I'm providing for my family. Like, like, I'm making sure my kids can go to college, they can all have cars, so they can go all to the best schools, and they can do all the sports and clothes. I'm providing for my family. So, like, that's hard to knock, right? But when the price you pay for providing for your family is relationships, you know, you're not giving them what they need because what they're telling you they need and want is your time. And that's not there. That key indicator is off else somewhere in land of work mode, of grind mode. So those are some underlying, you know, just more core motivators, some people like, without even knowing. I'm seeing a lot of these things happen without you even, like, say it's not wake up in the morning and say, hey, since I grew up for the first 20 years of my life not having money, I need to overcompensate today and tomorrow and every other day. Um, it happens just automatically. Um, you know, sometimes there is a sense of purpose that you're seeking and you feel like you can do a lot more with money than without. And so therefore you're going to use your money for good deed. And so you're hustling and grinding. Because that's what I did. I was like, yeah, when I make a bajillion kajillion dollars, I can help the world. And therefore that's a good cause that has purpose and meaning. I get that. But when you look at the price that you're paying and the dead bodies in your weight, then you know that it's not a fruit of a healthy, balanced life of achieving. It's an out of control, out of balance, warped version of what we were supposed to do. So, and you can wrap over compensation into that. And sometimes we just warm up, work like crap so we don't have to deal with other issues and we, we don't necessarily know that we're avoiding. It's just more comfortable working, right? It's less comfortable having those conversations, whether it's with your family, your spouse, your brother, sister, whatever other emotional kind of baggage is out there going into work where you have way more control over things and it's, you can cut things off and like fire people, hire people, whatever it is, it's a lot easier actually. You know, I always admired stay at home moms because I would much rather work 8 to 10 hours than stay home with screaming children with no off button. So those are things like family, family responsibilities are things that are just harder and you can't turn off and want to. So anyways, I think the check here is how much of your hustle, right, is healthy, balanced and driven by a joy like motivation. Not a motivation, not a, you know, fear motivation. So check the motivation of your hustle and that will be a key indicator to that. And sometimes you can kind of kid yourself, but at least this is a start. So what is it, Lars? What are some of the things that showed up for you in the reason why you hustled more before?

Yeah, mine was definitely, you know, and I've done some of this. This work is just an unnatural drive based on childhood stuff. You know, parents divorced it for alcoholic dad, a lot of poverty and you know, scarcity and, and just from an early age going toward achievement, you know. So I did great in school. I've always just really focused and worked hard on the thing at, at, at hand. But in business there's no end. Like if in my corporate job I could crush it, you know, But I wasn't like working at night, you know. Cause I sort of left it at the office. But in business it could just, you know, it could do everything. It could sort of engulf all, all of your extra time. But then also like you, you mentioned not, not necessarily avoiding a bigger issue. But in business I can like make moves and do things that like result in an outcome, like sometimes immediate where if like I'm Trying to get my kids to do something or, you know, my spouse and our. Both of our baggage and trying to get those to fit together infinitely harder, you know, it's. It's the more important, you know, work, but so much harder than just focusing on business and rationalizing. My first why was to create a lifestyle for my family that they never thought was possible. You know, I said that to myself. Yeah, but really not. Not the true reason. It's to fill a void in me. If I woke up every day, it's like, to fill a void. I'm going to crush it today. To fill a void in me that is not fillable, you know, with. With money and success that would not have motivated me the way that it did.

So. So, yeah, and. Oh, I want to share, like, how it started for me is when I was younger, I moved around a lot, so I never really. Or I. There was a time where I didn't have, like, friends, and there was a lot of times where I was just awkward. Okay. And So I remember 16. Something clicked in my head when I, like, tasted productivity, and I was like, oh, my gosh, it felt so good to do all of this and get all these things done. Done. It, like, literally was like a little mini high, right? You're like, oh, my gosh, this feels amazing. And. And then in my head, I was like, why can't I do this every day? I, like, remember that moment so distinctly clear that from that day on, I was like, let's try and be productive. That. That feeling was so amazing. I'm gonna be productive, like, every day. And so looking back, right. The wiser, more reflective me would have said that, realized that that was filling a certain void. What I mean by that is there weren't other things that were rewarding enough, whether it's my own value or significance. And feeling that productivity was like a little bit of a hit of something good, you know? And so I kept on going and I kept on doing and I kept on achieving and. And luckily it, you know, kept me out of trouble. But that did lead me into a life of, like, striving, achieving, and hustling. So again, it's hard to. I mean, I didn't even recognize it till, like, decades later. So anyways. All right, so what is the truth about hustle? Hustle, in many cases, can be a disguise. And now I'm not talking about working hard, but the hustle that's out of balance. The hustle where you're paying all these prices that we mentioned before that you didn't mean to pay, right? You're like, oh, that's overdrawing my bank account, you know, emotionally, relationally. And it's. That's not the results that I was looking for. So when you're in that type of hustle, just know that hustle is a disguise. And a common disguise for hustle is under a true identity, okay? Of that hustle is a fear disguised as productivity, right? Even when you're being driven by, I want to, you know, provide for my family. It's a. There's a fear a lot of times of like, oh my God. There's a fear of not enough money. I won't have enough money to provide for them. I won't have enough money. Whether it can start as cleaning the fridge to cars in the garage, to clothes in the closets, to, you know, schools and all that stuff. But it is a fear driven, like, I need to provide for my family because I didn't have it growing up or I just don't want it to run out, whatever that is. It could be a fear of not looking good. It could be a fear of not being, you know, significant, you know, worth a certain value in your own head and other people's head. But it's a lot of it. A tremendous amount of hustle is fear driven. So there are many lies that disguise the identity of fear. So, meaning, like, okay, if. If that's true, then how come we're not recognized? How come we're kind of falling into its traps so easily? So many of us, like almost most, if not almost all of us, except that one person in here that didn't have hustle. But why is it so common if it's that bad and that kind of obvious once you unpack it? And so I just want to give. Lay out some lies versus truth about hustle, right? So the thing that we tell ourselves a lot is that there's not enough time, okay? And I want to say that the truth around that is there's not enough time is a scarcity, right? It's a fear of not enough time. So it is driven by fear and the truth in that. And now I'm going to leave a little bit of God here because he is truth that will anchor us, right? God is abundant in time, right? He doesn't run out of time. So if you have faith and you have faith in him, then you don't have to worry about not enough time. You just have to worry about being in sync with him. The other another lie is I have to do it now why? Because if I don't do this now, I'll miss the opportunity. So I'm kind of blending, you know, number two and three here. But that too is the fear. Like you're going to lose out. The fear of losing out on an opportunity is still a fear. As if there's not enough time, as if there's not enough opportunity. All that is a fear, scared, scarcity driven mentality in response. Okay, and so the truth in that is that, hey, God has perfect timing. He's never too late or too early. Even if it's at the 11th hour. There's plenty of time when you are perfect, right? So you have to get into faith about, hey, there's enough time and there's a, there's a God that loves me and it's even bigger than what I perceive as deadlines and leaning into that because thing is, is that he doesn't want you hustling. God wants your heart more than your hustle. He's not like, oh my gosh, yeah, you did so good for me because you hustle. Nowhere does it say that he wants our hustle if he wants our heart. Our heart is where our treasures are. Our treasure is our time. That's the thing that we want to give away the least. Like for those who neglect our family. Again, been there, done that. We want to give away our time the least to our, our family or close ones. We would rather struck a check, let's put it that way. We would rather stroke a check than put in our time. That's how valuable our time is and how not willing we are to give it away. So our treasure is our time. And a lot of times we're putting that into business instead of relationships and family. And then there's that whole, you have to get this done asap, right? That again, goes back into a scarcity of time. There's not enough time. The window is closing. If you don't get it now, it's the opportunity's over. Too bad, so sad. Opportunity is limited. You should have gotten it right. Those are all fears and lies about time. And then getting things done is the key to success. Right?

Thanks for listening.

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