1009 Pursuing Happiness w/Ravi Patel

This is episode number 1009 with Ravi Patel.

Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an.

Inspiring person or message to help you.

Discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today.

Now let the class begin. James Dean once said, Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. And writer Joseph Addison said, Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. My guest today is my friend Ravi Patel who is on a mission to uncover the secrets to being happy. You probably know Ravi Patel from the hit documentary Meet the Patels. And now he's back with a new series on HBO Max called Ravi Patel's Pursuit of Happiness. And in each episode, Ravi and a friend or family member travel to different parts of the world seeking answers to life's universal questions like, Is there a right way to parent your children? Or what's an ideal work-life balance?

I've actually had the joy of becoming.

Friends with Ravi over the past few years, and I'll tell you that there is no one more curious or more loving. His first interview on the School of Greatness was simply awesome, and I think this one is even better. And in this episode, we discuss why Ravi is now focusing less on big achievements in his career and more on daily processes. What he's learned from fatherhood and how he's fought to improve his relationship with his wife. Ravi's complicated relationship with fame that he has, why therapy is essential, especially for men, and so much more. If you're enjoying this at any moment, make sure to share it with someone who you think would be inspired to hear it as well. And a quick reminder to subscribe to the School of Greatness over on Apple Podcasts, as well as giving us a rating in a review. And again, let me know what you think about it while you're listening. Okay, after this quick message, the one.

And only Ravi Patel.

This podcast is sponsored by Northwestern Mutual. Everyone wants to feel good about their finances. Right? Well, that's why I've had life insurance with Northwestern Mutual for years. Their financial professionals ask the right questions, truly listen and help uncover opportunities most people miss.

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So the premise of the show, in case you can't tell, is every episode I travel with someone in my life, and we have some big life question, and that's what takes us into an international destination. And everywhere we went has some sort of a interesting thing that they're doing culturally that advances that conversation. And the way I figured out which things to do was I prioritize the questions that are most urgent in my actual life. So that way, look, I've been in so many failed TV shows.

How many shows have you done that I've actually had a one episode on TV?

Not many. I've been on one episode of a ton of shows.

Well, how many ones that you were actually on?

Where I was like a regular on.

Regular on.

I would, I don't know, maybe three or four, not many. And I've never gotten past one season. Really? Yeah, I'm poison. I've had, I mean, I've done like 15 pilots. Isn't that crazy, man? That's insane. Yeah.

Where you're like, this is the one.

Like, we're gonna make it. Well, it's that it is the lottery ticket in entertainment, like when you get.

And that next step is just insane money, great lifestyle. That's like the third season where you're.

Really having a great lifestyle and good money.

Right. Season one.

The first season you're making tons of money.

Really?

Tons.

It was a big network.

Yeah, there was a big network. And so I know I'm really lucky to have gotten that far, but I was stalled out there. And I will say it taught me like one of my most important life lessons, which is, you know, I imagine a lot of your listeners are like, you're probably like, the fun of achievement for a lot of us is, in reaching the top of the mountain. And I feel like at this, now that I'm older, and I remember when I was 40, I woke up and I kind of realized, oh, you know, I've had such a good life. I've done so many cool things, and I've become used to people complimenting me on my achievements. But there I was that day when I turned 40, and I remember I was, like, looking in the mirror, like, it was, like, a lame TV show, and I had this moment of, like, wait, but I don't even know that I. remember everything that happened, nor did I necessarily enjoy it. And I was tired. And I think, you know, the kind of turning point for me there was that I wanted to start figuring out how to enjoy every day more. And the hustle of trying to climb these tall mountains, difficult things, that's what we feed off of, right? We get that dopamine, the adrenaline, our backs against the wall. Can we do this thing? Right? And what you kind of primarily tell yourself is in order to get to the top mountain, you have to be myopically obsessed with getting to the top of that mountain at the expense of your relationships, your health, your day. It's all forward looking though, and in the meantime, your life passes by. So now, whenever I'm trying to decide what to do, I think more about, okay, there may or may not be a top to this mountain. From what I'm hearing, there's actually never a top to the mountain.

There's always another mountain.

Or you get to the top and there's nothing there, which is something that Prince said.

You're empty, yeah.

I'm trying to enjoy the day, enjoy the process. And so even when the show, they said CNN said to me, we want to do a show with you. The only thing we know for sure is we wanted to include travel, but outside of that, Do whatever is authentic to you. First off, I'm not an expert in anything, so I couldn't do a show on food or, you know, anything along the lines of the School of Greatness. I'm not an expert in this stuff. But what I am is genuinely curious and I love love. And on a practical level, because I know shows go away so easily, I wanted to make a show that once it gets canceled, I'll have still said.

It was-- you- had fun.

A life-changing experience. Exactly.

Even if it doesn't work out or even if it-- gets canceled.

Yeah, which means not traveling alone, being with people I want to be closer to, not further apart, including my wife and kid, so that way they're in.

The premise of the show, they're with.

Me on these trips. Yeah, enjoying it. That in and of itself makes the show amazing. But then on top of that, we're tackling questions together that really matter to us. So Mexico with my parents, we went to one of the hottest retirement spots for expats.

Where was that?

Puerto Vallarta. Merida. Merida. That episode is about retirement and aging at a time when I'm on the other side of 40, I'm starting to realize everyone's mortality and being a father, I actually empathize with my parents in a way that I never have before because when you're a father, you obsess over this kid and you just love the kid so much and you want the kid to love you back. And I realized that my parents have felt that way about me for 40 plus years.

Wow.

And because of the way society is set up right now, we all live further apart. We're increasingly individualized, private. We're not dependent on each other at all because we don't need to ride to the airport. We have Uber.

And.

I feel like parents today are very much victims of a society that lives much more further apart and much more. And I don't want to pay back.

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I moved out of my house when I was 13. I was the youngest of four.

What?

I moved out when I was 13. I was the youngest of four kids, right? My parents were just working really hard day and night to try to make money just to like provide for us. My dad eventually, the work paid off and eventually like right when I hit 14, his kind of like 20 years of work paid off and he started to make money and it wasn't like this struggle anymore. It's like, okay, we can afford some nice things.

Right.

But those 13 years was very stressful for me because my parents, my siblings were older, they didn't hang out with me, so I felt very alone. They were older, they had their friends, one was off to college, you know, it's like I was just this young brat running around trying to get attention from my older siblings.

Right.

And I didn't really have many friends. My brother went to prison at one point for four and a half years when I was eight. So that time in a small town in Ohio, everyone knows everyone's name.

How old was your brother?

He was 19 at the time. So he went to drug, he sold LSD to an undercover cop. It's a first offense, went for sentence for six to 25 years, got out in four and a half years.

Was it bad LSD? Did the cop not enjoy the trip?

This was just the time of like the war against drugs in the 90s when it was just like cracked down against everything. So anyways, he probably didn't enjoy that either. So anyways, I felt very alone. I just felt like You know, I didn't want to be in my home anymore. I didn't want to be in my hometown anymore. I felt disconnected to everything. Because I felt like alone. I was just like, Get me out of here. Because I could see myself doing more and more bad things. I was cheating on all my homework and tests at school. I got suspended at one point for a few days. I started stealing candy bars and cigarettes or whatever just to like for the thrill of something. Those are good things to have. Exactly. And I remember just being like, I don't want to go down this path that my brother went down.

You had all these thoughts at the age of 13.

I was alone the whole time, so I had a lot of reflection time, a lot of beat up, like, I'm not good enough, and then a lot of, you're gonna go make something of yourself. It was like this contrast. And for whatever reason, I went to this summer camp in Missouri for many years growing up. My dad was sent to meet me to a camp for Christian scientists. And I went there this one year when I was, going into seventh grade, going into eighth grade that summer. And I met these kids who went to this school for Christian scientists in St. Louis, Missouri when I was out in this camp. For whatever reason, I was just like, I really want to be around these kids because they're very positive. They were super positive and they were welcoming. And I hadn't experienced any kids like that growing up, at least to my memory. I'm sure there were some, but I didn't really feel like I had close friends.

Right. Yeah.

And I was like, I want to go be around these kids. So I begged my parents when I got back from the summer camp, I said, please send me to this school. It was a private boarding school. And I'm probably the only kid that begged their family to send them away to a school. Right. But I was just like, I need to get out of here. And they were reluctant, but all summer I nagged them. I said, I don't wanna be here. I wanna go to the school. Here's why. I'm gonna do whatever it takes. And I went there when I was 13 and I lived in a dorm for the next four years. And I lived with these, so I've.

Been away from my family and my parents since 13.

Was that a turning point for you when you went to that school? He was the greatest. Turning point in my life because I don't think I'd be where I'm at today without that experience. I mean, it was challenging. It was a strict school. We wear a dress code. We had to wake up at 6:15 a.m. You know, clean your room, like two hour study hall, mandatory, all this stuff.

Like, it was hard. Was it the attention and the structure.

Or do you think it was also the community? It was the structure. It was the coaches that I had in all sports that really, they could see my anger and they like just knew how to guide me. Yeah, they knew how to like care be there for me. They were just great mentors. You got a family at this place. And there's a hundred other guys that you lived with in the dorm. So it's like we're playing sports, we're.

Hanging out, we're having fun.

That sounds so fun, dude.

It was amazing. It was amazing. And I don't remember you going into.

This detail in the documentary, which by.

The way, I love.

Thank you, appreciate it. So good, so proud of you, man. We're still trying to figure out how to get that out there, but yeah, so I I can't remember why I was saying this, but I left when I was-- oh, yes.

--Distance from parents. Here's what I was saying.

I just went to Mexico recently and visited my girlfriend. And I had a reminder of different cultures in the world, which is going to bring back to your show and what you've done. Because we have distanced ourselves in American culture to leave home at certain times and kind of like you said, be far away from our family. When I went to Mexico, she's got three younger sisters and everyone lives at home until they get married. And it's common for guys who are 30, 35 to live with their parents still in Mexico, at least in certain places in Mexico.

We showed that in the first episode of my show.

Maybe not in Mexico City or a big city, but in the countryside. And I was like, wait a minute, your uncle didn't leave the house until you were 30.

Families live together. They don't send people to nursing school.

He was like 40, I think, when he left.

I go, really?

And I was like, yeah, and they all, the grandmother is very sick right now, and they trade, like her mom and her uncle, they trade every week. They go and spend time with their grandmother, and they're all there close with her constantly. So everyone lives together, everyone supports each other. It's beautiful. And I was like, this is just a different culture that I was completely opposite with, but I could see myself appreciating, like if I had two young daughters, Maybe I'd want them to stay with me until they got married or something. I don't know.

Well, this is a part of American culture that really bothers me because even in Indian culture, it's very similar to that where families are expected to be together forever and take care of each other. And Americans will put their parents in nursing homes and talk to them once a year. And it's just people in American families, this is a generalization because it's not all American families by any means, but it Feels like there's a lot of American families in which resentment gets fostered. People, if they don't like each other, they don't hang out with each other. There's a lot of like, you're always having to prove why you should still give each other attention, which I think is so toxic. I think it's unhealthy because one thing that I know firsthand.

What do they do in Indian cultures if they disagree with someone in the family or they resent them or?

They fight, but they stick together. And a beautiful thing happens when you fight and you stick together. Making Meet the Patels, a documentary I made with my sister, we made that together for five or six years. I definitely liked her, but I don't know, I mean, I loved her, but I'm not sure I liked her. Let me put it that way. I found her kind of annoying, like this annoying, we were just very different. And we'd also never really both willingly wanted to be in an intimate sibling relationship. But we made this movie together because we love each other. We believe in the idea of siblings being supportive and being together. That's the culture from which we come. And when we made that movie, we fought so much to the point where we made each other cry one day. We sent each other to therapy. And I see that as one of the greatest moments in my life in so many ways. But specifically as it relates to my sister, because we couldn't fire each other because that wasn't even a possibility in our culture. Our only choice was to figure out a way to see each other and love each other more. And as a result, we're now best friends.

Wow.

We got through this fighting period. And when you're fighting with someone you love, what you see are all the things that they're doing wrong to you, all the things about them that annoy you, tons of resentment and vitriol. And when you start to love each other, and this is something I've applied to all my relationships since then, true love is actually in those moments finding a way to not be principled. Because I think being principled is actually...

And being right, or what do you mean by being principled?

Principled is this idea...

I'm doing this out of principle because you did this.

Yeah, a sense of justice for yourself. Is something that as Americans we're taught that we need to have.

It's so hard, isn't it?

It's so hard because your ego and you're also trying to, in your mind, logically, everything I'm saying makes sense and.

Everything you're saying is irrational.

It's irrational. It doesn't make sense, yeah. But actually principles only serve you if they're serving you. And more often than not, we're principled at our own expense. What you need to do when you love someone is throw out principles. Throw it out. How do you do that? It's hard, you exercise it, but it's hard.

So how do you throw it at principles? If someone is breaking, is crossing boundaries, is hurting you, is saying hurtful things, is not holding to their word, whatever it is, how do you just say, okay, keep doing this to me and allow it to happen to me?

Yeah, okay, so you're in a relationship.

Yes.

So you understand this, right? Yes. Okay, anyone who's in a relationship.

Yes.

Okay.

In your marriage, how do you do this?

Okay, so when my wife and I used to fight.

Used to? You don't do this anymore?

No, no, no, no. We had a fight last week. That was an hour long, and it was one of those where at the end of it, I'm like, I still don't know what we're talking about. I don't even know what we just discussed. No idea. I'll give you an example, though. In all of these fights, every single fight is ended the same way, or at least resolved in the same way, which is me saying sorry. Even if I don't believe you're not wrong. Okay? And Jesus said, sorry, even if she doesn't believe it. And we both, in that moment when our walls go down, we actually focus more on trying to love each other and reconcile than we do on being right or winning. And what I've learned is, you know, look, and I don't do this perfectly every time, but with my wife now, we used to fight and it would be trying to prove to the other.

Person, you're wrong, you're wrong.

I'm right, you're wrong. Why did you do this to me? Getting some sense of justice. and understanding. You know, men, we always try to say that we're speaking logically and they're speaking emotionally. That's like one thing that we all do. When they're both actually equally f*cked up. And what I've noticed is when I start, so when that fight's about to happen, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Before it's even here, you start to feel something, you start to feel something really subtle in your gut. Before you even, there's anything here or here, you start to feel something in your gut where it's like, Uh-oh, I think it's like those eight seconds before you're about to vomit, where it's just like a very, you're so familiar where you're like, oh, it's about to go down. Okay, so whenever that feeling comes, I immediately clock it, and the mantra I try to repeat to myself is create a safe space, be on her side.

Wow.

Love her, create a safe space.

That's crazy.

Be on her side.

What if she's completely irrational and wrong?

But if you're on her side, which you are, if you really love someone, you're on their side. It takes you to say, to put yourself in their point of view, embracing all the argumentation that they're giving you. Even if you, Lewis, do not agree with it, you have to be the other person on a whole other level. And you also have to practice being graceful. Practicing being graceful is something that I work on constantly. It's hard for me. I can be reactive, I can be sensitive, and being graceful while also trying to inhabit her point of view and emotions is something that I've noticed. I can fake it when I start because I can't get rid of that initial anger. I know, it's just there.

I love you.

But yeah. But I actually, what I do is I kind of fake it. But a funny thing happens, and I'm always surprised by it. Every single time I'm surprised by it. By doing it, I actually eventually stop faking it. And I actually do start to understand her point of view. Because another thing happens by doing that, by letting her know that I'm trying really hard to understand her point of view and that I'm thinking about her feelings and not mine, she ends up understanding my feelings as well. And we end up having a conversation where all that other s*** which never helps.

Right.

Isn't there.

Right.

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Pretty dope thing.

It's interesting, I have a practice that I try with this where whenever I get emotional or triggered, whether it's in a relationship or whatever. Right. I've gotten a lot better to the point of saying, I do this practice where I take my ego out of my chest and I put it over here on the side.

Okay.

And I allow the interaction to happen between that person and my ego. And I just kind of look and observe it. So imagine, like, my ego is a ball in my chest. I take it out and I put it over here. Right. For my mind or whatever. Yeah. Put it here. And now the person's attacking that ego as opposed to me. So I just try to look at it and observe it from over here and say, okay, they're not attacking me, they're attacking this. It's like, just be calm and relax. And I'm usually pretty good until it keeps getting triggered over and over again. It's like trying to figure out how to fully take that out of me because I feel like the ego serves us in a lot of ways, but it also doesn't serve us in those times when we react. and we're negative and we're hurtful, say things we don't wanna say, whatever it may be. So I try to take it out of me and observe the conversation from the side, from above, and do what you do as well, which is like, okay, let me just listen and let them share and talk and try to be a good person.

I'm basically advocating for some version of Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen, where we have to be multiple people at the same time.

Exactly, it's crazy, man. It's crazy. Well, this documentary, you did was huge for you five years ago. I remember when it came out on Netflix, seeing it was like featured on Netflix. Yeah. Kind of before they were promoting documentaries. Now documentaries are massive on Netflix. Yeah. And that, would you say that kind of puts you bigger on the map in terms of like the, I mean.

How many people watched that? It was, I don't know the numbers, but, you know, when it came out, we were trending next to making a murderer for like two or three weeks. Which was crazy. I remember that. It was, it was an insane kind of groundswell that came out of nowhere. And yeah, it changed my life. I mean, it changed my relationship with my sister. My family and I, we've experienced that documentary to this day. We still experience it together. In that moment, we're touring and we're going to like festivals and press. And I mean, what a unique experience as a family that most people never get to experience. But then we still experience it today. People, my parents are really the stars of that thing. Yeah. People come to them in airports, like as if they know them and they love them. And my parents are so good at being celebrities because they're just, they're everyone's parents. So my dad's Facebook status is actor now. They're both very much in. They're hilarious. But, you know, my whole family has gotten so close as a result of that. It also really taught me what work can mean. And, and look, first of all, anyone who's able to find purpose and work I think you're already in the top 99th percentile. If you're able to get any fulfillment out of it whatsoever, you're extremely lucky. You're extremely blessed. That's a privilege. Most people are just trying to make a living and get by and whatever else. So I recognized that. And that movie was the first time that I really got what it meant. Not to sound cheesy, it taught me what art is, the meaning of art. Oh, it's like this thing where you can connect with people, you can learn about yourself, And ever since I made that movie, which was also, yes, a huge moment in my career and took me to another level in a big way, probably is the reason why I even have this show on HBO Max. I now am chasing that same feeling all the time.

That how do I create this piece of art that what people appreciate and enjoy and impacts people or?

Well, impacting people is great. That means a lot to me when that happens. But I, I can't really, I can't, like, Control how I impact people. What I know I can control is how honest something is to myself, whether it brings me closer to the people I love or closer to myself. Those are things that I can seek from project to project. And it's basically, that's my triple bottom line approach to work. You know, like I don't just say yes to anything. I don't do everything that I want to do. And I'm one of those people that I'm genetically opportunistic. Like the immigrant roots in me always feels like I need to be doing more and work harder. and I also, I like love doing everything. I get excited about literally everything. And so it's actually been really healthy for me because it's allowed me to work towards a more essentialist approach in my work.

Now, from the documentary, I remember, and in the last time I interviewed, I remember you said that you were excited about being a dad, but you were like scared and excited at the same time. You were like, I think I'm ready for this and I want to see what it's like.

I was about to have a kid.

Back then when I was there.

Yeah.

How has that been now that you're a father and having a child? What have you learned about being a dad versus being, well, you know, single and in the pursuit of like your career?

So episode two of Pursuit of Happiness is about parenting. Like I said, I chose each episode based on the things that are most urgent to me. I don't know that there's anything more urgent than this new startup I have in my life. A wife, a child, a kid. And I'm trying to be this adult who makes all these things great and gives and takes all those things that family require. That episode we go to Japan, one of the most innovative places in the world, especially in the way they parent with my wife, because we're both really obsessed with trying to be good parents. but we're complete opposites. Like, personality-wise, she's, you know, very type A. She's read every book on parenting. I'm kind of all over the place and definitely not reading the books. We're both from different generations. I'm of the generation where you just kind of like try not to kill the kid and you let them be super independent. She's more of the generation where you're very hands-on and that's something that we really want to get right. And in trying to get it right, we butt heads. And so it's a great, I think, episode for anyone who's parents and wants to have a conversation about parenting and over parenting and how to raise a kid with grit. But I think it's ultimately an episode about marriage and how we fight and how to fight better.

How do you fight better?

Well, it's, first of all, with what we just said, we, you know, that's a big one for me. Couples therapy is a great way to fight better. I'm a big fan of couples therapy. I've probably put 20 dudes in this country in couples therapy. I'm singularly fighting toxic masculinity by getting all my bros in therapy.

I feel like my brother told me who's like one of the greatest things you can do in getting in a relationship fresh is start in therapy.

Yes.

Even when it's great.

Yes.

Go to therapy when it's in the honeymoon phase and talk things out just so there's nothing that's resenting anything. You're not holding on anything.

You're just talking it out. One of my best friends gave me that exact advice. Really? And he said, Go when it's good. And I did it. And it turned out to be such great advice. The talk that I give, I have this pretty tight five-minute talk that I give dudes to get them into therapy. And it always works. It's the closer. Let's hear it. therapy talks. Well, I mean, it's something along the lines of, because most dudes understand how businesses work. And you know what a board is? A board of advisors, right?

Yep. I believe in having a personal advisory board. Something I talk about is like finding your own personal advisory board.

Yes, that's something I've been trying to build right now. It's something the idea of the average of the five people around you. That's the thing that I'm working on so much right now, and I'm even doing But I'm doing it in different ways. I'm doing it really actively in terms of value. So like, my wife and I talk about this, like who could be mentors to us and family? Ooh, that's good. Who are great parents? Who seems genuinely happy and is living the life that is worth admiring? Whereas before our mentors were-- Successful, I'm sorry we didn't have as many. But there are people who are doing the things in that old value system where it was really just about status and achievement, to be honest. And to have an adventure.

Yeah.

But yeah, I think, you know, what I tell them is like, if you build a board for a company because the stakes are so high and you need a place that you can go to to manage the big picture. When you're in a board meeting, you're doing sure you're doing triage, but a lot of people outside of the business world don't understand is most of the time you're actually setting expectations. It's aspirational. And the board meeting is there to track how you're doing on your goals. Aspirations are not something you really deal with in moments of triage. So you have this thing for a high stakes company. Is there anything more high stakes than your own life? For some reason, we're not taught to manage the most important business that we'll ever be a part of, which is us, ourselves. That means put a system in place where you're spending time, you're having a board meeting for yourself, once a week, once every two weeks, once every three weeks, whatever it is, where the only focus is to talk about your goals and how to improve them and track them. I like to give the analogy of a trainer in the gym. We can go to the gym, we don't need a trainer, but why do we get a trainer? Well, because you usually work out harder, you at least show up. To me, people who don't know about therapy, they go to therapy expecting the therapist to do all this work. I love hearing people say, oh, this therapist is just a moron. He's stupid. Well, maybe, but the therapist you go see, even the worst one, you should still be there because the point is that you're supposed to be there in the gym working out. Even the worst, as long as you're there and you're trying to have a conversation with yourself, just that mindfulness of.

Itself, you're getting reps. Yeah, you put attention to the issue of the challenge.

Yeah, I'm not saying you should bounce around. I think there's Some therapists you're not meant to see at all. Some therapists are only meant to see a relationship for a few weeks or a few years and you move on, you get different reflections from different conversations with different people. But it's a business worth managing and if you can manage that business, I think the rest of your life is gonna be in a much better place.

Do you think people in therapy are in general happier than people out of therapy or vice versa?

Well, that's a tough question because therapy is just a surrogate to things that a lot of people get outside of therapy. You know, we were just talking about family. Traditionally, we used to be much more dependent on each other, including our elders, for wisdom.

For therapy.

For therapy. We talked to each other by the-.

Because we're in community. We're in community. Or talk to our aunt or our uncle or our brother or whatever, right? Yeah. But we're independent, we're alone and isolated.

Yeah, exactly. And by the way, that's why men need therapy more than women. Okay, because men isolate.

That's why I wrote a book around this, yeah, it's crazy.

Women, generally speaking, are a little more emotionally intelligent. I'm sorry guys who are listening, but women, that thing that we think is gossiping is actually women sharing each other's lives and point of views with each other. That's their board meeting, they're doing it so they have confidants. And so I don't know that therapy necessarily means that you're a happier person. it is one of the tools that can be there to help you become a happier person. I mean, look, the happiest people in the world, according to all the studies, are like farmers in the middle of Indonesia.

Really?

You know, they're not going to therapy, but, you know, they're doing, they're doing a lot of other things really well, such as just trying to, just living life and living a simple life. And, you know, the American complex has everything to do with optimizing, you know, by the way, we do an episode on this in South Korea. Real stresses on work-life balance, that feeling that in work we always have to be doing better and better and better and we need more money because whenever we're not working, we're spending more money to make the most out of every minute of our non-work time, to play harder, to go to better restaurants, self-help, everything. We go so hard at every minute of our day that as a result, we're never actually satisfied with what we have. And then, you know, to counterbalance that, we need to schedule even more things like juice cleanses and meditation and therapy and yoga and TED Talks.

Right. Right.

It's an insane cycle. So I don't know. I think therapy is a very good idea if you don't feel like you have a confidant.

What's the biggest lesson your parents have taught you in the last five years since making the documentary? Because they had an arranged marriage. What's the biggest lesson you've learned from them since you've gotten married and had a kid?

You know, the idea of arranged marriage, these guys didn't know each other.

They didn't love each other.

They didn't love each other, yeah. And I found in my marriage, I don't think it's been that different. I knew my wife, I loved her, I proposed to her, we did all the things the American way. But what I've realized is the thing that really makes any relationship work is not a feeling. A feeling might create the willingness to be there.

To try or to try, yeah.

But it's the willingness itself. It's the commitment. And by the way, the feeling and compatibility help your odds, but it's the commitment that lays the bricks down one by one. I think my parents are really beautiful evidence of that. They genuinely love each other. I think it comes across. You'll see it in the show. You saw it in the documentary. I told my wife recently, I just recently realized, my wife and I have only known each other for maybe seven years now. And, you know, our daughter's three. We, you know, if you'd asked me three or four years ago, I would have said she's my best friend. I love her.

Your wife.

Yeah. Because that's what we say about a wife. That's what gets us in love and all that stuff proposed to a year from the day we met, you know, I love you. I love you.

Well, what would you say now?

Well, now I would say that it's not that easy. Love is actually something you create together over a long period of time. There's chemistry and all that other stuff, but really, this is what I said to my wife. I'm now realizing that I didn't necessarily love you and you definitely weren't my best friend. because I know what it feels like now to love you. I genuinely think you're my best friend. And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we had a couple years in there that were really hard and really dark.

And you made it through.

And at times hopeless. Yeah, but we made it through together. And when you're able to accomplish something together that hard. And especially despite the other person. Do you see what I'm saying?

When you don't like them. during certain periods of time.

But when you're able. The thing that kept us together was the idea of us in the future. And that was.

Wow. If you didn't have a kid, do you think you'd be still together?

I hope so. I don't know, though. I mean, I think a kid helps you. I mean, you know, a kid. Going back to the business analogy, I mean, that's your product. That is, you know, that's our one skew.

Yeah.

And so we're all in on this thing. And what it ends up doing, because it's the one thing, it exposes very quickly every crack in the windshield, every inefficiency comes to a head. You very quickly have to dig in and figure out who you are. And I'm actually really grateful for my business experience because It is really like digging in and there's first years of a startup. You just have to be like, well, it's not different from what you've started here from sports. A lot of times you have to put aside the part of your brain that's telling you, Yo, this is a bad idea and you're not gonna make it. What you need to do, and this is where your ego serves you. Your ego is the one that says, Don't listen to them. We can do this.

So why do you think some marriages fight less than other marriages?

Bro, I'm not an expert on this. Why?

Why do you think, is it compatibility, is it chemistry, is it connection, is it a differences of ego? Like people are just more empathetic and therefore they don't get into fights. People let down their principles and say, okay, you can have whatever you want.

I mean, look, I don't know, because I'm only in my marriage and I'm definitely not an expert on this stuff. But if I had to guess, I think relationships all have a finite runway, and some of them are not meant to go on forever.

They might only be a year, five years, seven years, and then dissolve.

Literally every facet of the world and humanity has a shelf life, has a utility. When did we decide that that doesn't apply to love? It's just a bull American ideal that has been perpetuated by romance novels and movies. Yeah. And there's another thing that's also perpetuated by those things is that this idea of love is the only thing that matters in relationship. Love, like I said, is more the side effect of the work. And in America, I think we're really, we put way too much emphasis on love. I mean, I feel like a lot of people, all they care about is love and feeling and lust.

If they don't feel it, they're quick to jump out as well, right?

Yeah.

Whereas in India, yeah, it's like, oh.

You'Re not having sex. You feel like it's over? No, of course you stopped having sex because you stopped having sex. Have you ever had sex with someone this long before? No, of course. I get it. You're used to only having fun in the first two weeks of having sex with someone because it's awesome then. Yes, we get that. Well, what you haven't tried to do is have fun having sex in the second year or the third year or the fourth year.

20Th year.

And that's an art form that I have not yet figured out. But I believe that a decline in romance or lust or the things that were there at the beginning of the relationship, those aren't indicators that you need to get out. Those are just things that you need to cultivate and grow just like every other part of your life.

Yeah. What have you learned from your parents about that? They've been together for how long now? 30, 40 years?

30, 40 years somewhere in there, yeah.

What have you learned?

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From them about how they've been able to stay together and create love, cultivate love, even when they may be tired of someone's doing something or bored or whatever.

My parents had instilled in them the idea that there is a higher purpose in themselves. in our culture, you know, the most important thing is community. And my parents are some of the most giving and loving people that I've ever met. And my upbringing was such that we were always forced to do good things for people constantly. Like I was, I'd go to other Indians houses and I'm mowing their lawns or, you know, we had random Indians from India staying with us as we tried to help them get on their feet. I like to say our house was like an immigrant halfway house growing up. And you know, this duty to community is something that I think says a lot more about the values that really matter in life. I don't know if you've listened to the first episode of Michelle Obama's podcast.

Yeah, that's great.

Okay, so her and Barack had that conversation. At the end, they're asking like, what's the one thing We wish we could teach to everyone. And they said, one of them said, I wish we could teach that the cleanest path to happiness is giving. That it really makes you happy and it makes you happier than anything else. And that's what my parents have that I got to learn firsthand.

I interviewed Dr. Lori Santos. She's got a podcast called the Happiness Lab, I believe it's called. And she's like the happiness researcher at Yale, professor there. and two of the top four things that bring the most happiness that is scientifically proven now and studied is giving and gratitude. Two of the top four things. It's such a simple concept, but a lot of us are chasing other things to find happiness, right? What's the thing that people chase the most in your show that you discovered in the pursuit of happiness that they were chasing that they realized wasn't bringing them joy and what's the thing from all the places you went to that everyone could agree on that made them feel happy.

The thing that we all chase, the wrong thing that we chase is the wrong thing. And there's lots of wrong things. We have a tendency to not understand what's really important. Like if you've read that book Essentialism, that's literally what that's, you know, know what matters. And to know what matters, you have to equally understand what doesn't matter. Are you gonna read that book?

I've read parts of it, yeah, but I need to read more.

Well, like most books, you only need to read the first 50 pages. Why are these books so long? Can't people just make 20 page books?

I know.

They can charge the same amount of money. But I gotta go through this bullshit where I read, and then every time I'm like, well, I figured this out in the first 50 pages. He could have taken an essentialist approach to the book. And that would have been impressive.

Publishers don't want to accept that, though. Is that what it is?

It's a publishing situation.

We need a certain amount of word count, yeah.

We need to start a publishing company. Short books only. Short books. There you go. And the thing that unites everyone is.

Really a feeling of oneness, a feeling of belonging, community. But it's funny that in America we leave at a certain age, we go on our own, we're independent. Why is that such a thing for us? It's different than your culture. Why do you think that is? in American culture.

Well, this, this country was founded on being the new guy and the youthful, Progressive, evolving Anarchist. Anarchist almost. So it's, so that's where the individuality thing comes from. In fact, the episode in Denmark that we did for pursuit of happiness, I went with my Muslim friend, and it's.

Supposed to be the happiest country except With immigrants, right?

Exactly. And that was fascinating, 'cause I'd only heard of Denmark is like the happiest place in the world. But I think one of the reasons why it's so happy is because it's so homogenous. It's pretty much happy if you're white. But if you're not, it's kind of difficult. And the reason why we even did that episode is I'm like, oh, this is really American. And this is what we're going through. It's actually something that's happening all around the world right now. It made me realize that one of the reasons why we're going through this moment in our country is because we are so diverse. We do champion individuality in an awesome way. And we're fortunate enough where the underrepresented communities actually are getting enough voice where they can raise a ruckus. That's a good thing. Because in other countries in the world, they can't.

They have no voice. In Denmark, they have no voice, it sounds like. Yeah.

No, they don't have a say in.

How many immigrants live there.

How many immigrants live there, do you know?

God, I don't know. I don't know.

And I'm sure we give that statistic.

It's a much smaller amount of people there. It's significantly smaller.

It's like 5%, 10% range, I think. But I think the oneness thing is actually the reason why we're going through this moment in time, we don't feel like one.

Yeah.

We're not one. People here don't feel like they're part of one family. Even in the way that we talk to each other, you know, could there be anything more divisive than the election we're in, where the main message from both parties is vote for me because the other party is evil. No, evil. This is like Star Wars, okay? It's not like a conversation about ideologies and policy. It's literally that other That other team is evil and we're-- We need to defeat them. The almighty, yes. That's not how you create a dialogue within your family. To go back to my sister or my parents, if you really want to do it well, you have to do it with empathy and with love despite these principles. And that's really hard. It's so hard, dude. Especially, I mean, when the stakes are so high. Again, bring it back to the election. I have such a tough time not getting furious. And I want to take it out on these people that I blame for putting us in this position. And then I remember I'm from North Carolina and I have so many friends that are Republican that are some of the most loving, wonderful people I've ever met.

Right.

Intensely loyal. In fact, intense loyalty, I think, is.

The reason why It's interesting, I've been having these conversations with some of my team members and we just hit our 1,000th episode. Thank you. And I'm thinking of the next 1,000 episodes of like, how can I truly make a bigger impact with my community? I'm always willing to go on any platform and share a message, whether it's more conservative, more liberal, you have to be willing to have a conversation with people that don't agree. and try to draw them back in, give them some candy to get them drawn back in for the vegetables, right? And wouldn't that help us have a better conversation, to open a dialogue? Yeah, that's a good way. But I feel like so many people are like, you can't put these people on your platform, because then you're endorsing them and it makes you-- you-'re giving.

Them a platform, yeah.

But I'm like, we need to be able to open up and have a conversation with people that we don't agree with. In a calm, loving way. Don't we?

I agree. I think if the person that you're having the conversation with represents a viewpoint that a lot of people have, then I think you're not giving them a platform. You're actually giving your audience a point of access. The idea of cancel culture or just anytime anyone only is willing to listen to their own opinions, this is why people hate on-- a lot of liberals hate on Joe Rogan, 'cause he talks to anyone and everyone.

Everyone.

Generally, kind of, he says what he feels. People should be allowed to disagree, people should be allowed to be wrong, people should be allowed to be stupid, people should be allowed to make mistakes. And that's how we learn and we progress together. But the idea of, you know, I'll speak just for liberals, because I am liberal, at least socially. There is nothing more anti-liberal than not having an open, inclusive conversation.

That's a powerful statement right there.

Yeah, and I would argue- Then why.

Are so many liberals like, no, like-.

Conservatism I get, because that's premise, literally the word conservative is in there. The whole premise of that party is tribalism at its max. The thing that matters most is stick with everything we have and we hang on to it and everyone protected. That's that philosophy, okay? The idea of liberalism is premised more on, well, let's call it progressivism. That word progress isn't it's about evolving. It's about a change changing. You can't change and evolve if the only person you're listening to is yourself.

Yourself with the same opinions. Yeah, that's why I have different people from religious backgrounds, spiritual backgrounds, different scientific backgrounds, nutrition background.

I'm like, Anyone who gets pissed at you for having a conversation with someone who disagrees with you, I think that person themselves is probably a hypocrite.

Interesting.

And maybe that's the person that needs to listen. As long as you do it in a way that's thoughtful, respectful, I think more good than bad can come out of it.

You're very connected in the Hollywood scene. You have a lot of friends who are big actors and producers and directors. Do you have any friends who have been like canceled during this climate that you're close with, that you have-- I have a lot of friends who have.

Been canceled during this climate. I know a lot of people in that world, but I actually have very few. famous friends. I don't care for them. You know what it is, man? I have this complex with power and popularity that's probably rooted in my younger years. And I find narcissism, anything involving status and power, I find all those things so off-putting and they also kind of trigger me. So I have a tough time in general interacting with people like that, even if they're doing nothing wrong. But then a lot of these people have walls up around them, rightfully so, because they're famous. I just like normal people. Most of my friends are really... And.

Just smart, good people that are... Yeah.

That'S why we're leaving LA. I want to be around more normal people.

When are you leaving?

We're talking about moving at the end of this year. That's another thing that came out of the show. Wow. So in the show, we did the episode on work-life balance. We did the episode on marriage during which we went to these farmers who are living the simple life that we've talked about doing. We did an episode with my parents about retirement and being closer to my parents. And in Denmark, we realized that we want to be closer to the people whose views we oppose rather than away from them. from them. A combination of that is we're gonna move east to be closer to my parents, to live in a place that's more politically and intellectually diverse, and we're gonna live and we're gonna reduce our overhead by 50% and live in a place that's, you know, yeah, we are subject to taxes. And we're gonna live somewhere where people don't really know what everyone does for work and they don't care.

Wow, wait a minute. Do you know where you're going yet?

We're looking at Nashville and Raleigh Durham Chapel Hill. So we're gonna go do a test.

Drive at the end of this year.

My sister's in Charlotte. She loves it there. Well, I'm from Charlotte. Oh, wow. So we probably won't move to Charlotte. My wife's from Atlanta, but we want to live close enough to the grandparents.

And so... Where do they live, Charlotte?

Well, her, mine are in Charlotte. Hers are in Atlanta.

Oh, well, gosh.

So we want to be close enough. Three, four hours in between.

Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. But that's why we're doing it. I kind of feel like Maybe it's a better transition to live somewhere. I also, I do need to be able to get on a plane easily.

I hear you.

To come to LA, to go to New York, just for work.

If so, you are moving, that's the plan.

It's 75, we're going to the East Coast for like three or four months.

We test it out.

And we're gonna test drive places. And if I had to bet, I would say that we're gonna move after that. And the way we're doing it is, look, if we come back to LA, it'll just have been a great adventure. You know, look, I'm sure you've had these conversations. Wanting to do the perfect next move, whether it's in career or other facets of your life, it's paralyzing and it keeps people from doing. It's the best part of that first book, the 4-Hour Work Week. That's like one of the, that's the best part of that book is where he talks about how the need to feel good about the next move is the thing that keeps people from ever making that move.

Just go do it.

Or just go move. Yeah. In this case, Literally, we're moving.

I like the idea. I mean, Nashville's cool, Durham, I think those would be great places. That's fascinating, man.

Wow.

So what if I mean a job brings you back here, then you just move back here, I guess, huh?

Yeah, but I'm also trying to figure out a life where I don't need to be here or New York as much. I'm doing so much stuff just in terms of writing, directing, producing stuff that doesn't require me to be here as much. My acting career is going great. But I don't get as much fulfillment from that. The main thing I get, not that it isn't fun sometimes, but I don't get the creative fulfillment out of acting that I do out of creating. Yeah, exactly. And so, but I need to keep doing it because it actually opens the door, all the doors to these other things.

The relevancy, isn't that interesting? What is the, I mean, what's your thoughts on becoming a celebrity and becoming a I feel like in order, if you have an idea, if you have a product, a business, you need to have someone become a celebrity to get attention. Otherwise, you're driven by buying media, spending money on advertising to get attention, right? There's two ways, organic eyeballs or paid eyeballs. If you have a project, an idea or something. What's your thoughts on becoming a celebrity, the celebrity world?

Well, I think about that a decent amount because it's something that I've always been extremely uncomfortable with. Up until a few days ago, my Instagram account was private.

Really?

And yeah, and against the advice of everyone in my sphere for years because for me, I was like, you know what? I don't like the fame part of it. I understand why that's an important part of the business and how it can help my career, but I also feel like if I make good things, the cream will rise to the top and maybe I can at least avoid that part of my life for a period of time because at least that way I'm not sitting there thinking, oh, I should post this or I should write that and it'll be another business to manage. But now it's like I have three shows coming out in the next four months. I have so many things happening and I kind of need to have because they're so personal, I need to have a way to engage and I'm doing press and-- I think it's insane. I don't know how I feel about it. I think I'll be fine. Oh, anyone who's listening this, Please follow me, because I literally only have like 15,000 followers. How many followers do you have?

Oh, no, something. A lot. A million something, yeah, yeah.

Can I have some of them?

How do I get those?

Sure, yeah.

Just go follow.

Tell me how to get followers. Go follow them.

What is that? Is that what it does? Is that what I do? I follow them, they follow me back?

No, no, I'm telling them to follow you. My followers. Show me the ravi. Show me the ravi.

Yeah, keep low expectations. I post once a month, and it's usually just my daughter and my wife. Well, here's the thing, something you said that I might push back on is, I heard you say, I want to create great things and great stuff will rise to the top. The challenge is, my brother said this, he's the number one jazz violence in the world. And he said this early on to me.

Yeah.

He said, I know so many great musicians out there that sit at home and make great work and they expect people to discover them. You need to be just as good at marketing your talent as you are at making the talent become better. and you know, if you find an agent who discovers you somehow and they do it for you, then that's great. But most of us don't have that. Well, you're really, you're really good at it.

You've done it in such a beautiful way. By the way, I just want you to know I'm so proud of you. Thank you. And the fact that you've gotten this far and I've seen it grow firsthand, and I think the product is excellent. I think what you do is authentic. I think you're so good at this. And I've, you have such a great combination of confidence and you're humble and I think people really see that. Like you have an Eagle is truly a search in earnest and I think that's what's attractive about what you're doing. So I'm so proud of you. And you're also really good. Like your social content is really good. It's all inspirational. It's the right size. It looks well. It's exactly what I would want. In fact, what we should talk about is you doing this stuff for me. That would be amazing.

That would That'll be amazing.

Well, my team, I got a great team. Daryl, do it. We might have to figure out, you might have to do, you know, I think for me, I'm happy to do it. I've just been uncomfortable with it for whatever reason.

I also now feel this pressure, like I made my profile public. The best pose you did, it must have been a couple months ago. It was the, can you guess what photo it is that you did that I'm thinking of? I have no idea. You did a photo of you shirtless. Oh, yeah. Talking about, Kumales, like it was like, yeah. Yeah, dude, he was looking ripped in that photo.

Yeah, that was looking chubby, huh?

That was funny.

That was funny. Like now one thing I'm really insecure about is I made my profile public and I have like no followers, so I'm like worried people are gonna look at it and be like, oh, I guess I was wrong about, like, he's not as successful as we thought he was. Like, I don't know, I'm like, do.

I need to like get a bunch of followers really quickly? What's the pressure of being relevant and staying relevant in the celebrity world.

I have no pressure. That's the thing. I'm not motivated by that. And I wish I were a little more because I think it would be really good for my career. I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm still in the early stages of it. But I think the fame thing is inevitable for me at this point. And so what I'm trying to figure out is how can I do it in a way that's authentic to me and in a way that is hopefully additive to others. And so I don't know what that answer is.

Well, I'm curious, what's your best advice since you have experienced fame?

And what's your advice? You're the one who knows this way better than me.

Well, you're on sets with celebrities, you're on sets with actors, you're experiencing this with people a lot, right? I'm curious, what's the best advice that you have for someone who might rise into fame quickly? who isn't famous, but they might become famous for whatever reason. They put out a book.

I certainly have no idea what that's like.

They put a book out, they do a documentary, and all of a sudden, they get attention. Sure. What's the best advice for managing fame that you would have based on what you've experienced and what you've seen other.

People do right and wrong? Yeah, see, I don't really have the answer to this. It's something I've discussed quite a bit.

I'll tell you, I'll tell you the.

Advice I gave my dad. When he became famous. when he became famous, and he was accustomed to everyone asking him about the documentary everywhere he went, every party, even with his friends, even at home, talking about the documentary so much, and then an obsession with posting about it or looking it up. And it all came out of a loving, an excitement, an enthusiasm that I can't believe that this is like my own kids are, and that my kids have achieve this, like, this guy, like, his dad had to borrow money from the village to send him to America. Who would have thought this would have been the next chapter in his life? And his kids, he's just so proud. And what I told my dad was, I was like, look, what I've learned is when you have fame or you even have a big personality, of which my dad and I and my mom and my sister, we have both. We're loud. or gregarious, and we have some people like to talk about us when we're in the room. And what happens is everyone's trying to talk about you. You're the most, in their eyes, the most interesting person. And what happens is you get used to that, you play into it, and a couple things happen as a result of that. You start to expect to talk about yourself, okay? And two, you're inadvertently taking away attention from the other people there. And so I think the more that you get fame, I think the more you have to work. You still want to be honest. Like, I don't care for, I don't agree with the philosophy that a lot of famous people have, which is like downplay enthusiasm for what they're doing or shut off and don't talk about themselves at all. I just think give an honest thoughtful answer, be genuinely grateful when you get compliments, but also you do have to work a little harder than most people to elevate the other people in the conversation. How can you make them just as interesting to you as you are to them?

Yeah, something I learned early on, I was really scared to talk to people, like in my teens and 20s, I didn't feel comfortable like going up to strangers. strangers and talking to them until I created a challenge for myself one summer where I was going to go up to people. Like originally it was girls. When I was a teenager, I was scared to talk to girls.

Yeah.

That's why I created a challenge one summer to go up and talk to every girl that I had like a goosebumps around. Right.

I wish I was you growing up.

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And but it got me over the fear of rejection early on and the fear of like girls like laughing at me or whatever. And at the end of the summer I could talk to any girl all the time like just to have a conversation not trying to hit on girls or whatever but just like to feel like I could go up to any group of girls and just say hi and as a social experiment. Yeah, it's the greatest thing.

Were you finding success? Were there opt-ins during this period? Of course, yeah.

I mean, I got an opt-in, phone.

Numbers, all those things. Well, you realize opt-ins with women are not dissimilar from opt-ins in social media. You just need volume.

That's it.

And a certain percentage. It's the numbers game. Yeah, I'll tell you what, I had no opt-ins, but I wasn't putting anything out there. Right.

I was a 0% batter and I was never at the plate. Right, yeah. So I did that and I was going to say there, what were we just talking about before that?

Where was I going with this?

Guys, what were you talking about?

Oh, here's what I was going to say. Got it. Something I learned early on when I was learning how to just communicate with other people, learning how to introduce myself, learning how to be at a party events, like just learning these things, I learned that the most interesting person in the room is the most interested person in the room. And so I didn't need to, I didn't need to, and when I was meeting girls, when I was out networking in business world for my first time, at first I felt like I needed to be interesting and be like, this is who I am. And look at me, I'm like a magician of like whatever and dazzle people. And then I realized I just have to listen and ask great questions. And I learned this when I was 16 and then did in my early 20s when I was in the business world, and when I started to listen and just be so interested in the other person, they would always be like, man, that Lewis guy is the most interesting person here. And I would never say anything. I didn't have to, like, right. They didn't even know who I was. They didn't know my background, my success, my failure, nothing. But they knew that I was curious about them. And when we lean into curiosity about other people, we become automatically more interesting to them.

Oh.

And that's why I think if you have fame or credibility or celebrity in an industry or in the world, when you turn it back on someone else, if like, if you're gracious and humble, like you said, just like, thank you. Yeah, I'm really excited about this thing. But also, like, just asking other people questions, they're gonna be like, wow, that was pretty cool.

I love that. I mean, my struggle growing up was taking up too much attention.

Really?

Before the fame stuff, like, taking up too much space. And it was something that I recognized at some point in college. I was so focused on everything out here. And I remember one spring break in college, all my best friends went to spring break without me. And I found out about it a week beforehand. No. I was crushed.

And you still remember it?

I actually didn't even remember it till a couple years ago. It kind of came up and I was like, oh, I like, had suppressed that memory. Wow. That was one of the most scarring experiences of my life.

I know.

But I look back and I think, oh, well, that's because whenever I went somewhere with them, when, like, if we walked into a bar, I was the guy that knew everyone, and I would be hanging out with everyone. And you wouldn't hang. I wouldn't hang out with my actual friends when I was there.

I was so outwardly focused and focused on attention and being the most liked.

Guy in the room. Yes. Yes. And I'm so grateful that that happened because I think that was a really big turning point for me of starting to focus on the people that are my people, number one. And by the way, talk about an incredible tool to have coming into a place like Hollywood where there's all this other noise and distractions. Know who you love and know whose opinion really matters. But it was also the beginning of me practicing being interested.

Wow.

That's such, I love, by the way, that should be the social media thing for this. The interesting thing that you say. That's it. That's it.

There you go. They got the clip. They got the clip. I want to ask you a couple final questions, but the show is out right now. It's called the Pursuit of Happiness. It's on HBO Max.

That's right.

How many series is it? Four episodes. Four episodes. They can watch all four right now or... Yep. Okay. So you can check it out. I guess HBO Max is online on TV and any subscription that you have for HBO Max. Yeah. They can follow you on social media, show me the Ruvy.

Show me the Ruvy. Now, if everyone here follows me...

It'll explode.

I just need to get... I'm at 15,000.

If I can get to 16,000... 15,000, you'll be happy.

Oh, I'll be like, what is this spike? Do people go on podcasts and beg for followers? Is that a thirsty thing?

You're the thirsty person. I'm the thirstiest guest we've ever had.

It's all good. It's all good.

If they love you, they'll follow you. Or they'll think, this guy's thirsty. He's thirsty. I find him quite off-putting. It's all good. It's all good. There's a value to follow. So as long as you're funny, entertaining, or interesting, they'll follow you. I want to ask you this.

Last time you were on. You know what, by the way, if they follow me, what I would like to hear is when you start following me, you tell me if there's something I can improve.

I will be down with that.

I like that. And I'm into it. Say, Ruvy, this content blows. Do X.

Do Y.

You guys. I like that. That would be of great service.

I bet all your listeners are very much like you. They love giving feedback and telling me when I'm, When I'm right or wrong all the time, so it's all good. Oh great, that's what I want.

I love being told when I'm right or wrong.

You know who loves doing that to me?

My wife.

Just the wrong part.

Yeah.

Isn't that interesting?

That's the next topic.

We'll do that in the next episode.

It's not interesting, it's exhausting. Oh, you're excited about that.

She's getting pissed at me.

I'm like, I'm interested, I'm interested, I'm interested. I have empathy. I have empathy, I'm interested. I'm the most interesting person 'Cause I'm interested. She's like, you suck.

I'm like, All right. I asked you this last time. I'm curious what your response is here. I asked you about your three truths. I love if you remember this question, where if it was the last day of your life and you've created everything you want in your dreams, but you've got to take it all with you to the next place. But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true that you would share with the world, three lessons you would share with the world. I have yours here from before. You probably don't remember them.

Don't tell them to me yet.

But I'm curious.

Do it right here first.

I want to hear what you say first.

Okay.

You share three truths.

Laugh as much as you can. Be interested. So you just gave me one of mine. You see what I'm saying? Have a great day. God, that sounds cheesy. Is there a more eloquent way to say that?

Well, I'll show you what you said before. The more love you give, the more you feel the happy you are.

Okay, I like that one. Okay, keep going. Keep going.

You said, Family above everything.

That's another great one.

You said, Focus on what you have, forgive and let go of the stuff you don't, that you don't have. And I think this is like four things. You will only do as well as the work you put in. So those were your three and a half truths.

Well, let's be honest. Those are great.

Those are great.

Yeah. So one could argue that listening to this episode was a waste of everyone's time because I've actually devolved.

Or just like your book theory, they just have to listen to the last couple minutes to get the whole episode.

This should be your shortest episode.

Just doing 10 minutes. Oh, I would love to blink is.

Guys, I'd like to welcome you to our first 10 minute episode.

The best stuff. I appreciate it, man. People could follow follow you online. They can check out the show. It's always fun to have you on, man.

Appreciate it. Thanks for the love, man. And thanks for always. You always get back to me right away, and you just show me so.

Much love and support.

I can't thank you enough.

I'm glad you're back, man.

I know you do, and I appreciate it.

Back at you. Of course, man.

Thanks, brother. Thank you so, so much for listening to this episode. Make sure to share it with a friend you think might enjoy it. Go ahead and just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this on Apple or modify or anywhere else, or just use lewishouse.com/1009 and share that link out with a friend who you think might be inspired to hear Ravi's story and message. And also click that subscribe button over on Apple Podcasts right now if you are a fan of the show and you want to help see us reach more people and inspire the world. All you got to do is click subscribe and listen and share it with a friend and you can impact people's lives as well by doing so. And if you want inspirational messages from me every single week, I'll shoot you a text with some of my favorite inspiring messages. Just text the word podcast to 614-350-3960. And I want to close with a quote from Andrew Carnegie, who said, if you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hope. and if you haven't been reminded anytime lately, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter, my friend. I'm so grateful for you. You are an incredible gift in this world. And don't forget to continue on your happiness journey every single day. You deserve love and you deserve happiness. But sometimes you got to go make it happen for yourself. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.

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