1048 Rachel Hollis: Manifest Success, Overcome Guilt & Manage Negative Feedback

This is episode number 1048 with number one New York Times bestselling author, Rachel Hollis.

For anybody who is listening or watching this, and you own a business and this year has been hard, same. You have to stay fixated on where you are going, not what it is.

Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.

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Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Steve Jobs once said, you, have to be burning with an idea or a problem or a wrong that you want to right. If you're not passionate enough from the start, you'll never stick it out. And Warren Buffett said, Price is what you pay. value is what you get. Today's guest knows exactly what it takes to stick it out when things get tough and never ceases to raise her work to the next level. Rachel Hollis is a two-time number one New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, blogger, podcast host, and entrepreneur. She connects with a global audience who really value her transparency and optimism, and she uses her platform to empower and embolden women around the world. And in this episode, we discuss the number one key for overcoming self self-doubt, advice on how to manage pain and overcome guilt, Rachel's visualization techniques for manifesting success and abundance, how to manage negative feedback when you're launching something that you're really proud of, habits to develop in extremely stressful times, and advice for people who are running a business this year and beyond. And if you're inspired at any moment, make sure to let me know and share this with someone who needs to hear it. Or over on your social media channels, lewishouse.com/1048 or just me and paste this link wherever you're listening to this podcast and share it with a friend right now. And also make sure to subscribe over on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave us a rating and review if you enjoyed this interview. Okay, in just a moment, the one and only Rachel Hollis.

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Welcome back, everyone, to School of Greatness Podcast. Very excited about my guest Rachel Hollis is back in the house. Good to see you, Rachel.

Good to see you too, man.

I'm sad that you're not in LA more. And hopefully you'll be back here soon sometime so we can connect.

I miss traveling. I mean, do you miss traveling?

I do. I miss it a lot. I mean, that was your life for the last few years as you exploded with the last few books you had and were so in demand as a speaker to every event and conference in the world wanted you and now it just kind of all stopped instantly.

Yes.

I'm curious with all of the pain and struggles and suffering that you've been faced with, the different challenges that you've had to endure. Obviously, you're extremely blessed and have lots to be grateful for and have accumulated a lot in the last few years. But with all the stress of 2020, what's been the biggest challenge that you've had to endure?

You know, the honest truth is it's crazy because I'm going through a divorce. I'm going through a public divorce and that has been incredibly difficult for both of us and for our children and our family. But to be completely honest with you, the most difficult part about this year has been the business because, you know, I started this year out with 60 employees and I feel when it comes to my personal life that, like, I can handle the emotional fallout of the personal side of things, but the most stressful piece of my year. And I assume that the other entrepreneurs in your, in your listenership will understand this is the business because in that instance, it's not just my family who's counting on me to be strong and to be a good leader. It's 60 families. So that having to pivot and for people in your community who don't understand, the bulk of my revenue came in live events.

So we had bulk meaning what? 50%, 70%, 80%?

Easily 70% of what we do for sure. And we we're really well known for the events we did and we did great money on those events and we're really proud of what we had figured out how to do. And it has come to a screeching halt like so many other people. And I feel like I have spent this entire year fighting. Like my back is up against a wall and I'm just, pivoting and pivoting and pivoting again. And it feels like I've been talking to a lot of other entrepreneurs about this that it feels like you make a decision and you pivot and it works and then shoot, two months later you got to pivot again. So it's been the most stressful piece of this year for me for sure.

So what have you landed on now since you've paid a bidded, you know, three to five times probably where are you?

So we I want to say we were probably one of the first people who had specialized in live events to pivot into a virtual event. And very intentionally, I rallied the troops and I was like, what the hell are we going to do? And I said, if we could be first to market with this, before everyone's doing it, yeah. Right. And it was very successful for us, thank God. And so we've done a couple virtual conferences this year. and we've pivoted pretty heavily into product. You know, my girl, my customer loves to shop. So we already had some products that made sense for what we do, but we've really pivoted very heavily into that, especially with holidays.

I saw the four to six necklaces style guide today. Yes, the layering of necklaces.

You're making it work, you know, like I I freaking love my team. These people have been my comrades for years and you just have to figure it out. And the thing is, I've been an entrepreneur for 17 years. So I've been through this before. I went through this in 2008-2009 and I find a way and I will always find a way. And so that's where I'm doing right now.

For someone who's been teaching confidence and overcoming self-doubt for the last obviously a long time, but more specifically in the mainstream over the last three to four years. How do you find confidence within yourself when it seems like everything is against you with a divorce publicly, with the business needing to shift, with whatever other challenges you might be going through mentally or emotionally that we're not aware of?

I think that I have the gift, and I really do think of it as a gift of having gone through a lot of hard things before. And so I know It's gonna suck either way. The things that we're in, the personal stuff, the business, 2020 COVID, it's going to suck either way. So if it's gonna suck either way, I may as well show up to the best of my ability. I may as well try as hard as I can. I may as well stay strong and keep going. If it's gonna suck either way, it'll suck way less in the end if I stay in the game. Then if I sort of sit down and stay here and, and, you know, cry about how hard it is. Yeah.

Well, what would you say for people listening or watching it would be the number one thing to developing self-confidence in a moment of zero and insight for them or zero clarity of the future or all the doubts they're going through. How, what's the one thing they should be focused on to overcome that doubt?

Who needs it? more than you. Who needs this win more than you? Meaning, I have four kids. I have all these employees. It's not about me. It's about them. And so often, especially for women, I think, that if you can tie it to something greater than yourself, you know, everyone talks about the why and Simon Sinek, what's your why? And that's great, but it's like, it's not for me, it's not what's my why? It's what's my who? Who needs this more than I need this? And other people are counting on me to be strong. And often, I think when you don't have the courage in yourself, you can find the courage for other people. Like, have you ever heard those stories where, like, a parent will, like, lift a car off their child who's been pinned underneath it. Yeah, it's. You will find a way when it's for someone else. Yeah.

How have you been able to set boundaries for yourself personally and professionally during and publicly online during all of the breakdowns where you've had to show up and shift and be there for yourself, for your family, for Dave in certain ways, for your team, for your audience? How do you create boundaries? so you don't lose yourself in all of this?

I think that it's more about the emotional boundaries that I need to have or you need to have or your listeners need to have personally. So I stopped trying a long time ago to please people online. Gary Vee has this quote that I love. He says, I'm just gonna show up as myself and let the chips fall where they may. And I, same. Right? Like I had posted after the election and I lost like 100,000 followers on Instagram because I posted a picture with Biden because I interviewed him last year and he was awesome. And I was super, I was f***ing thrilled with the way the election went. You can edit out whatever you want to edit out, but I was, I was so, so proud of our country. And I lost 100,000 people. and some people would see that and be like, oh my God, like you lost 100,000 followers on Instagram. And I was like, oh, awesome. I don't want people in my community who would refuse to do life with someone because they voted differently, right? Like that's not what I'm creating. So I am going to just keep showing up as myself. And if it goes down to 10 followers who like are down with who I really am, great. because that's the thing. When we announced the divorce, there was such awful backlash. People were really awful. And I wasn't expecting that to be truthful. I did not anticipate that women especially would attack for that. And a lot of people said that I was fake because I had said that I loved this person and now I'm getting a divorce. as if, like, you show all of the parts of your relationship to the public and so they know every piece of it. But I thought it was really interesting to encounter this thing because I think the decision to stop trying to make something work that wasn't ever going to work is the most authentic decision I've ever made. I think it is. I think that you should think I'm fake. if I keep doing that same thing to make the brand look better, you know? I think it's the realest I've ever been. So I found that really funny that that was sort of the feedback. 'Cause it's like, man, this is the most authentic I've ever showed up at the risk of alienating fans and customers and pissing people off and hurting my Mima and like all of the people that were hurt by this choice. I chose to do what was true and real for me. And man, I guess if you don't like that, that's cool. But I'm just going to keep showing up as myself. That's my boundary is I refuse to take in someone else's perception of me.

I'm curious about your thoughts looking back. And we don't, you don't need to go into specifics obviously with the divorce or anything, but I'm curious about building a business with your partner. There are some people I've seen who've, you know, especially like YouTubers who build their audiences together, and then they break up, whether they're married or just boyfriend or girlfriend and other people who have businesses, and then it gets messy if it doesn't work out. What's your thoughts on just reflecting back? Would you have built a brand where you guys, I, I believe you guys did a daily show together in the mornings for a long, like a year or two years or something you did. events together on relationships, would you have integrated your relationship in building a business, talking about things together if you had to do it over again? Or what advice would you have for married people or people in relationships in terms of doing a lot of things together in business or at least talking together in business publicly? What's your feedback or thoughts on that?

I don't regret going into business together. You know, we were incredible partners for 18 years. And the interesting thing is that publicly people are like, oh, your marriage failed. My marriage didn't fail. My marriage produced four beautiful kids. It, you know, we were foster parents to four kids. We had so much fun. We were best friends. We built beautiful, beautiful things together. That's not a failure. that is a massive success. The amount of time you spend together should not be the determining factor in how successful something was. But I feel like we fell into our relationship being a brand and that was never my intention and I would never do it again, ever, because that puts pressure on the relationship to to, you know, it was fascinating to me that people, the backlash was like, well, if you guys fail, what hope do I have with my husband? And I was like, do not put that on me. My, like, that, that it, that has nothing to do. You don't know our world. You don't know our story. Like, that is a crazy thing to think that someone else's relationship not being able to continue the way that it has been determines whether or not you have a chance of succeeding. That's crazy. So I would never, ever, ever do that again. And I think, yeah, if you had.

To go back and do it over, would you have done a podcast together and events together or what? You just said, you know what? I'm gonna do my show.

It's hard because we didn't know any better. You know, we really didn't know any better. And we were making decisions based on like, oh, you're my best friend. We're going to be married forever. This makes total sense. But the more time goes by, the more pressure there is to like be that couple. Now it's about now there's like this third member of your relationship, which is this community, which is crazy. And look, I can't, I'm not in a place, like I can't even fathom dating again. I can't like that that's so far, like there are rumors online and who I'm with. And I'm like, you guys are crazy. I am over here watching 90s rom-coms on Netflix. I have zero desire. I'm not there. And I can't even guess when I would be there again. But I will tell you this, I will not be public with my relationship. I won't do that again.

We're going to get right back to.

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What do you think people are setting themselves up for when they become.

You.

Know, publicly very involved with things publicly in their relationship? And is it possible to have a thriving marriage and partnership being, you know, sharing each other's lives a lot?

I think that there's a way to do it, there's a way to do it. There's a way to talk about your life. I think a lot of celebrities do that, right? They're like, this is, you know, Victoria Beckham, my wife. Like, we're a couple, right? But they're not, if you're invested in their relationship, it's more just because you know of it, not because you sort of have, like, we did a podcast together where we talked about our relationship. for many episodes. And the thing is, if you listen to our podcast, we talked about our struggles a lot, which was why when people are like, you acted like everything was perfect. I'm like, yo, we have been unpacking our problems for 18 months on a podcast. Where have you been? So yeah, I think that there's a way to do it, but I do think what you run into is there are times where you like anybody who is listening to this who is on social media at all. There are times where you post something or do something because it feels like it's a necessary thing and maybe you weren't truly feeling the full like joy of the picture that you posted. So that's one thing but when you when it's when it's a relationship that you're doing that for, when you do have a morning show and maybe you're frustrated about something that the other person did or said that morning or the night before, but you have a community of people who are counting on you and you're like, well, we got to show up for the community. It just makes everything muddled. And then I feel like I just, you don't know. And like social media and all of this world and all the things that we're doing, is new. We never had experienced what we were going through and we truly just did what made sense. But in retrospect, I think that it absolutely was hurtful for us being able to be authentic and real with each other. I'm not worried about the audience, but with each other about how we were feeling.

I'm curious about just social media and relationships in general. Do you feel like it's ruining more relationships? We don't need to talk about yours specifically, but do you feel like social media is ruining more relationships or serving.

Relationships and growing more?

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You know, it's funny, I've done so many podcasts lately and I keep talking about social media. Social media is something that I feel like we're going to look back on in 10 years and go, I can't believe, okay, in the 80s, let's say, or in the 70s, like, you know, moms used to, like, throw their kids in the back of the station wagon. No car seats. They're rolling around back there. No seat belts, just, you know, whatever. And now we look back and we're like, that's crazy. Like, I can't believe the kids were rolling around the back. I feel like we're gonna look back on social media and be like, I can't believe that this got to exist, and there were no parameters on it, and nobody controlled it, and it was allowed. like, I keep telling everybody, have you seen the social dilemma?

Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.

If y'all listening, if you have not seen this documentary, you have to watch it. But I think it's like anything. Social media is an incredible tool. You can build a business with it. You can connect people around the world. You can find your people. Like, you feel like you're alone, and you can, like, find people who understand you. But then there are also very harsh, negative pieces to it. So I think that it can go either way. I just personally think that when the focus becomes about the relationship, that's when it's.

Did you ever feel like there was a point where you couldn't get out? Like you were too deep into everything, not everything, but a lot is about our relationship and I can't get out of it now without.

I don't think I realize the ramifications on the business by making that decision. I knew people would be shocked, certainly, but I don't think that I realized the ramifications, you know, to the business. Like, people were so upset.

Like, it impacted the business in a big way?

Oh, yeah. We had people who asked for, you know, they wanted to be reimbursed for conferences they had gone to four years prior. Like, you, you know, I thought that you were this good wife, By the way, it was never about him. Never. It was always me. We thought that you cared about being a wife and you clearly don't. And I'm quoting, I denounce everything you've ever taught me and I would like a refund. People were wild and dealing with that in the midst of, I already told you how stressed I was on the business.

Yeah, yeah.

COVID. And I'm, deeply hurting and I can't get out of bed. And I have the only energy I had was for my kids. It was a wild summer, man.

How have you learned to overcome guilt in general in your life? What's been the process? If you've been feeling it in this year or not, but if you, how do you go through the process?

Yeah, it's funny. I wrote about this in the new book, pretty sort of Yeah, there you go. I have zero guilt. Zero. I think that this idea of like, I should feel guilty because I'm no longer going to be married is insane. And it's an antiquated notion that again, is not something that he has to deal with. It's fallout that I have to deal with, which is deeply unfair. And so I feel pain, I feel grief, I am sad for my children. There's so many parts of this that are painful, but guilt about this is not in it. Because guilt is the idea that you did something wrong. And I think that I made a decision that will allow our family to be the healthiest version of itself. I really honestly believe that we will look back on this even a year from now and be like, oh, right, yeah, that was, that's what needed to happen. So yeah, I don't, I don't have guilt. And I think other people might believe that I should, but that goes back to this boundary and this idea of lots of people could, this is, you know, for your listeners too, like, the world will try and tell you what to feel, what to think. We will try and tell you who you are. You don't have to accept that. You know, nobody knows what truly went down inside of my marriage except for the person that I was married to. And, you know, it's nobody's business. So you to. It's. Yeah, I I just. I don't. I don't hold someone else's. feelings about how I should.

Sure. How about handling guilt in the past for just whatever in life? What are some ways that people should learn on how to overcome feeling guilty about something?

I think that it starts with if it's something that you are carrying guilt about, asking yourself like, have I done everything that I can to make amends? that's where it starts. Oftentimes, the people in my community who are struggling with guilt or still carrying guilt, they actually have. Just the fact that you feel guilty means that most people have like, they've apologized, they've tried to make amends, they've done the work, the whatever, but they're still carrying it. And so I think if you begin with the place of have I done everything that I can possibly do, then it becomes about unpacking why you're still holding on to this guilt. You know, is it something that you're giving yourself? Is it something that someone else is asking you to carry? You know, or is someone else putting that shame on you? And so you're sort of picking up the load that someone else put on you. But I think it begins with understanding, like, for me, everything is always about understanding why. why do I feel this way? Why am I triggered? Why is this happening? Because if you can understand why, you can figure out how to navigate around anything. So yeah, when it comes to guilt, it's like, have you done what you could do? And why? If you have done what you can do, why are you still feeling this way?

What do you think are the biggest lessons you've learned this year for yourself that you really needed to learn that you hadn't learned yet?

I feel like this was the final straw in whatever like remnants I had of people pleasing.

It's like you killed your ego this year.

I lit it on fire. I burned it down. This was like the final, you know, and it's an interesting thing. I've been talking about this a lot lately with my friends that I feel like I was just sort of over here doing my work quietly, doing my thing, and then I had this book explode. And then people decided who I was. So they gave me an identity and they said, you are this person. And it was going so fast. I mean, this is when you and I first met was when I was so overwhelmed and you were like, I'm going to call you. It's going to be a lot.

The book just came out. Yeah.

Right.

I don't even know, was it a, I don't even know if it hit number one yet.

I don't think it hit, no, no, I think it was just like in the beginning and I was so overwhelmed and so I described that as like, I have felt like I'm on a runaway horse and I'm doing everything in my power to like try and like rein in this horse and in the midst of that you're going so fast and also this public is like, this is who you are. And so you're just sort of going like you're swept away with the tide. And in the times that things happen and then public the community or social media or whatever gets upset. What is so wild to me is that so often I'm like that thing that I did, that is very much who I am. How did you miss that? Like, I'm gonna go back to this idea of like posting a picture and saying that I was proud of the US for voting in a new president, like most of my best friends are gay, like I'm the most liberal person on the planet, like I'm all of these things that I've spoke, what would surprise you about the fact that I'm excited about nothing if you're paying attention? But the problem is that you don't see me as I am, you see me as the person you decided that I am. and so it feels like this impossible thing to keep up with. So what I am trying to do, like I said, if I go down to 10 followers, then there'll be 10 followers who are like, yeah, you're my kind of girl. I like that you love and accept everybody, and I like that you cuss sometimes, and I like that you're working mom and whatever else it is. And I'm gonna. I just. If I'm gonna. I won't please the internet anymore.

I tell you what, having an ego death is the greatest, one of the greatest gifts we can have as individuals. And probably having it over and over again is something that's really important for, I just think our, our emotional well-being, our humility, our empathy, all these things. Because when we think our stuff is, you know, so, so big or so much more valuable than something else or whatever, whenever we get brought back down to a level of, hey, like, no, don't. Don't keep living this way. Like, it's good for us. I think it's healthy. It's. It's like cleansing, you know? It cleanses the things that don't support us. I I feel like I am very grateful in the fact that my growth has been very gradual over the last decade. Like, I didn't have this rocket ship of explosion of audience at any time. There were some, like, little spikes here and there when I launch a book or something happens, but it wasn't like. boom within a year, this massive audience and exposure and opportunity. What advice do you have for people that have an explosion like yours, whether it's a surgeon, 50,000 followers in a few months or a million and opportunities galore? What advice do you have on the fast track in a condensed time? Obviously, you spent 15 years building this, but But when it launches and all of a sudden, oh, everyone knows who I am. How to manage that?

That's a really good question. It's sort of like what you asked me earlier about my relationship. But I would say if I could go back and do things differently, I would very strategically and very consistently make sure that who I am was evident every single day. was always there so that there's no confusion, right? So Dave has this saying, he said it forever. He says, people are only upset when they're surprised, which is so real, right? So I would make sure that it's almost like calling the herd. You don't want a billion people who are not aligned with your vision, your values, who you are. you want, it's better to have a small dedicated group of people who are like, yes, you are speaking our language, especially if you're doing something like you and I do where we're teaching or offering advice or wisdom, because it's like, man, if you don't like my teaching or my style, then you're gonna hate everything that I put out. So it's better to, like, I remember when When Girl, Sow Face was like going crazy, there was a really conservative actress posted about the book. And she was like, I love this book. You guys have to read it. And it was amazing. I got like so many new followers. Like, I want to say like 50,000 followers overnight. It was crazy. And I was like, this is amazing. And then that weekend, literally like four or five days later, I was sitting on my patio having a glass of wine and I posted a picture and I was like, cheers to the weekend. And people lost their mind. Like they were so angry that I was drinking wine and I could not figure out what happened. It was really the first time that I had had that kind of like crazy backlash with like trolls and people being so mean and I was like, what is going on? I am a grown, I'm 35 at that point, like having wine, I'm not doing shots in Vegas with my top off. Like I'm sitting on my patio having a glass of wine with my husband, like what in the world? And it took me several days to realize, oh, she talked about me, she's very conservative. All of her followers then came in assuming that I was the same kind of person. and they were surprised. And so I lost a bunch of those people right away, but I was like, great, get out of here. Because if you're going to be offended by a Sauvignon Blanc, that is the least of our worries. I'm going to for sure do something you do not like. So get out of here.

What advice do you have to people when they hear negative criticism online, when they have a small audience and they're trying to grow and they're trying to put out their stuff that they care about and they get backlash? with a small audience.

You just, we have to, if you create anything, if you use social media at all, you have got to let go of, you have to. I would have told you this five years ago, but the state of the internet today is a dumpster fire. Trolls are the price of admission. It just is. It just is. And right now online, people could be talking crap about me, people could be loving me. I have no idea.

You don't check comments anymore?

Nope.

No idea.

Do you hate me? Do you like someone will say like, oh my gosh, I posted this thing on election day where I was like, it's gonna be okay guys, like let's all take a breath. It's gonna be okay. And it wasn't until days later that someone was like, oh, you blew up the internet with your inflammatory comments. Like someone on my team had told me, I was like, what? I didn't even know people were angry because if the tree falls in the forest, but I can't hear it, And honestly, I want to, I would love to tell you, Louis, that like I can run out and post something and then someone could be like, you,'re ugly, you're the worst and it not touch me, but it does, it hurts my feelings. And so I decided that the only way that I could do this work was to not consume it. But it's important to know, I don't consume the good stuff either. I don't feel like either one is good for me. the good comments aren't good and the bad comments aren't good.

Why the good comments not good?

Because I just feel like that's how you start to believe that you're so great or so fancy or you figured it out and I never want to reach the end of my evolution and I think you could get really easily tricked into believing that like you did it, you figured it out, you know, so yeah, I I just. I don't consume it. I don't consume it at all.

How do you manage the emotional pain? And what strategies would you have for people that are just. They feel like, you know what? I'm not as fortunate as Rachel. I haven't built a business and haven't had this, you know, success on the outside like she has. I'm struggling there, and I'm struggling in every other area of my life, physically, emotionally, relationships. the pain is just seems so hard. What advice about going through pain and embracing it so that it doesn't seem crippling forever for people?

Dr. Right. I was just, I was actually talking to a girlfriend today who told me that she is also going through a divorce. And we were just talking about she's still very much at the beginning of that and how painful it is. And I said, it's just gonna suck for a while. There's no way around it. It's just going to suck. And so the advice I would give you is to cling to moments of joy when you can find them. Like when you can laugh, laugh, when you can find, you know, I've like, it's a comedy of what I have done to process the ways that I'm feeling. And some days that's look like, I'm going to go on a run. And some days that looks like, I'm going to go buy an entire birthday cake and a bottle of wine. and this is what I'm having for dinner because the kids are with their dad and I'm just going to eat my pain and I feel great about that. I'm very graceful with myself in this process. And yeah, that's it. You know, we can as humans, we can hold both. We can hold both joy and pain. And I think pushing for moments of laughter even in the hardest days, are what remind you like it's and this is what I told my girlfriend. I was like, it's gonna get good again. I swear to you it's gonna get good again, but not for a while.

Right. It's gonna take time.

Yeah, just it that's what it is. And you know, I used to believe that if I could just make a certain amount of money or if I could just get my business to the right place that then I would be free of hardship and pain. And this is the hardest year of my life.

Yeah.

Without question. And I've been through some stuff. So to say that is big. And I just keep thinking, I just keep telling myself, Rach, you are going to come out the other side of this and you are going to be a f ing warrior. Like, you will be untouchable. You will like, because I coach myself. I don't know if you do this, I'm like constantly coaching myself. and I am just like, yes, you are walking through hell. You are walking through fire, but you will come out the other side of this and you will be invincible. And the thing is, we create our own reality. So that will be true for me because I am saying it to myself.

I'm manifesting it. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm manifesting. I'm not manifesting like, oh, you're going to come out the other side of this and you're going to get back all the millions of dollars you've lost this year. I'm not manifesting that. I'm saying you're going to come out the other side of this and you will be unstoppable. Your back's against the wall. You got work to do. Let's go. So coach yourself. Yeah.

I had this realization last year when I was going through some criticism online that I was just like, man, this seems really unfair that people are assuming something that they have no facts. They have no truth. They have no, they're having one, one perspective of something that was very frustrating that people were jumping to conclusions and whatever. And I had a lot of great mentors reach out to me and just give me some great advice. And, and in this time, I was like, you know what? This is amazing for my ego to just kill this off. If I, you know, for me, it was like, okay, I don't care. I don't need to please anyone anymore. I'm Right. I'm killing that side of me off, which I probably had a little people pleaser in me still. And I had this concept called Hindsight Now come to me, where I was like, it's gonna be New Year's Eve. This is towards the beginning of last year. And I was like, it's gonna be New Year's Eve. And I'm gonna look back and I'm gonna realize that this was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me.

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And it's all going to be happening for a reason that's going to benefit me and my community and the world someday. Maybe it's not this year or five years, but one day I'm going to be able to show up in a more powerful way because this happened in my favor. And I keep having that all year. I'm just like hindsight now for everyone, have hindsight now whether it's the end of this year, whether it's the end of next year, you're going to look back and you're going to be so much stronger because of this. And I think it's hard to have when you're in the middle of a sh*t storm. But seeing the future and knowing this will benefit you is something that's powerful.

Well, and just a really tactical piece of advice that I love is, and I actually was telling my girlfriend this today, is that when the first several months of after the breakup were just abysmal. It's just a black hole, just so painful and for so many different reasons. And then I don't know if this is everyone, but I hit a point where I was like, I am tired of crying. I'm tired of crying. I don't know how to stop, but I know that I'm fed up. I don't want to cry anymore. And so I really sort of started to research or think back on what I've learned over time to try and go, okay, what would help you? What's happening? Why is this happening? All of that stuff. And so I started to think a lot about, you know, I've talked for years about morning routines. So many people have a morning routine. But even before the routine begins, your day and your mindset truly begins the second you have the awareness of being awake. Because most people, as soon as they have an awareness of being awake, they start thinking of all of their problems. They start thinking of everything that's happened, what's going on in their life, what... And then they make that even worse because most people then immediately grab their phone and they check email and they check social and they look at Slack and they're looking... So now we're compounding all of those thoughts by adding to it with all the problems that are happening. And so the first thing most of us do in the morning is think about all the stuff that's going wrong. And so I was watching, I know you've interviewed Dispenza, right?

Many times.

Yeah, I was watching a video of his on YouTube and I just keep coming back to this idea of like, if the first thing you do in the morning is start to envision the life that you want to have, where you're going in the future. And when you're going through a crisis or really hard season, I don't think you can imagine that far in the future. So usually for me, I think a decade in the future. And during this process, there were times I was like, the furthest I can see is tomorrow. and then the furthest I can see is a week or a month from now. And now I will tell you that I'm up to the place where I can see a year in advance.

That's great.

It's a lot of work. But when I wake up in the morning, I I'm. I don't allow myself. Not a single thought. Now. I want coffee. Now. I gotta brush my teeth. Nothing. Before I lay there and I just start to Envision. And this is what it's going to feel like. And this is. This is. This will happen and this will happen.

And.

And I get that picture very. Clearly in my mind, and then I start my day. And that was probably the biggest, most helpful thing to me in this process, because it was almost like I was throwing out a fishing lure and like hooking the thing and then beginning the day. So I had something to sort of pull me forward, as opposed to waking up and just being like, life sucks and this is horrible. So that has been really helpful for me.

Yeah, I think, you know, Vision boards, mood boards, my Vision movies. We can create all these different strategies for us, but I think just having a simple practice like that daily where you can reflect and imagine for a few minutes the life you want to create, you'll probably get closer to creating it than the life that you don't like.

Right.

So I think that's powerful. And a lot of us, myself included.

Are.

Check phones in the morning and don't always follow the practice perfectly. But what was the thing that got you through? What were the habits that in the challenging, most challenging days that you were able to do when, when you weren't able to do anything but sit there and cry and mope? Were there any habits that you held on to at least? Was like, at least I'm going to write one sentence in my journal. Or at least I'm going to say, I'm grateful. I'm alive. Like, was there anything you held on to?

I kept drinking my water.

Yeah, it's good.

Why, you know, I know it sounds silly, but it is something I tell a lot of people. There you go.

Big jug of water here.

When you're trying to add great new habits to your life, I love the practice of hydration because water is free and it's easy to access and you're adding something instead of subtracting. So I kept. I stayed hydrated and I moved my body every single day. That is a long time practice of mine. And I will tell you that in this season, it looked like a lot more gentle movements than I've done in the past. So it wasn't maybe 10 mile runs. It was like, I'm going to go stretch. I'm going to go dance in my garage for 20 minutes. But I moved my body every single day, seven days a week, which was really helpful in terms of stress and sort of lowering the cortisol in my system. So that was a big one for me.

I'm curious about money. You talk about money in your book and getting real about your finances. Was there a moment when money just started to flood into your account that you remember? You're like, okay, for years I was making this much and it was growing a certain amount, or maybe it was going up and down, and then, boom, all of a sudden, money was attracted to you. like a river flooding into your ocean, right? Was there a moment like that? And what was the mindset you had for the year before in order to turn it into a financially abundant mindset?

That is such a good question. It was, I don't know if this is like the answer, but it was the year before my head was down. I was freaking doing the work. I was just doing the work. I was working so hard and I wasn't distracted by other things and I wasn't trying to get more followers on Instagram. I was doing the work that I know I needed to do. And, you know, if I think back even to the success of Girl Wash youh Face or Girl Stop Apologizing, so much of that was because I was doing the work. It wasn't a genius marketing scheme. It wasn't, PR. It was the, the book. There was something in those books that really spoke to women. And the thing that spoke to them was I had been in conversation with her for a decade. And so I was, you know, how do you guys feel about this? How's this in your life? And I was really testing with, I didn't, I didn't think of it that way at the time, but I was testing how she wanted to be communicated with and what would be helpful to her, and so.

You mean the reader?

Yeah, the reader. That's all I was focused on. I never in my life could have imagined that that book would hit the way that it did. But in retrospect, the space I was in was just on truly trying to offer value to my community. And that's what sort of made it hit. And I mean, I can tell you like, It is, it really is a, this is something for anybody who is listening or watching this and you own a business and this year has been hard, same. You have to stay fixated on where you are going, not what it is. So it's very important that you see life as it really is. So like I had my leadership meeting today, our director of accounting is like, this is our cash flow. This is where we're at. this is where we're going, here's what it is. Great, we have that information. And now our job as leaders is to focus only on where we're going. Because if we trip out on like what our revenue is today versus what it was a year ago, we'll be frozen. We won't be able to move forward. And so I think, yes, it's about an abundance mindset, but it really is about like, We are going, there is no plan B. This is where we're going. We will make it work. We will find a way. Let's go.

You were working and building your business for what, 12, 13, 14 years before Girl Wash youh Face, is that right?

Yeah.

Was there anything else that switched for you because that's, were you just doing that for 12 to 13 years and then all of a sudden, okay, a decade of work pays off.

Iterating what the business was. So I owned an event planning company and then I, turned it into a blog and then the blog created food stuff. Yeah, like I sort of, interestingly enough, my consumer has always been the same. My community has always been the same, but the business has sort of shifted to kind of go along with her. But I think it was just like testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, and then something, you know, it's like we have this saying here that you can knock down a tree of any size if you keep chopping at it long enough. So we just keep chopping that tree and doesn't matter how big it is, at some point it's gonna fall if you stay consistent. So I know it's kind of a boring answer, but it really is that consistency of like get your work done.

So it was focusing on creating the best work possible. It wasn't anything around changing your mindset in any other way to attract money. Did you have a limiting belief around money where you're like, okay, I'm only gonna be able to hit this much every year.

Or I definitely had a limiting belief about what was possible in business. Like I kind of only knew, but you know, I tell this story I think in Girl Stop Apologizing of going to a business conference and I had bought myself a ticket for my birthday. I went to Business Mastery, which is Tony Robbins event and the ticket was $10,000, which was like I had to save up for a year to be able to afford it. It was crazy. And because I bought the fancy ticket, I was sitting sort of at the front. And I remember this man came and sat down next to me and he looked like he had been sleeping on the beach for 10 days and just like rolled. I'm like, how is this guy in this section? Like what are you doing here? Totally judging a book by its cover.

I think it's probably worth a billion dollars.

Oh, he was worth so much money. But I didn't know, right? And so at some point you have to like talk to your neighbor. and we start talking and he says, you know, how much, what was your revenue? What did you do last year? And I thought it was like he asked to like me to take my top off.

Like I was, oh really?

Well, I had never talked numbers with other people. And you know, I came from a family where like we don't talk about money and that's rude and whatever. And so I'd never had someone else in business go, what's your revenue?

Mm-.

And at the time I had done, I wanted to cross a million dollars so bad. Like that was my goal. And three years in a row, I had almost got there and I like couldn't get past it. And I, you know, he's like, you know, what have you done so far? And I was like, you know, 830 or whatever, thousand. And he was, I said, well, what, what have you done so far?

830 million.

No, it was like, oh, I don't know. I think we're like at 19 million. Right now, like 19. And I was like, and I really honestly had never met someone who owned a company who could just so casually say, oh, we did $19 million and super nice guy. But for me to even just understand that a regular human being could make that much money with their company in a year. completely shifted my world on its axis. Like it really being around, like you're talking about like a money mindset or attracting that kind of stuff. You really have to be around other people who are operating at a higher level than you are. And, you know, I say this all the time and people are like, well, I don't have, you know, millionaires laying around my neighborhood. I'm like, yeah, but you do have access to the internet and YouTube is an incredible place to see people speak or get information or be inspired. So until you are at a place where you can run in circles with like the top dogs, go absorb as much information as you can from the things that you can find on your computer or your phone. Because even just understanding what's possible will make it possible for you.

Do you think those two things that you did, one, investing in yourself with a big ticket item, whether it's, you know, an event or coaching or a software that's expensive, some type of investment and being able to communicate about money with an open heart as opposed to a closed heart. Do you think those two things were supportive in your growth as well?

I will tell you at that conference, have you ever been to Business Mastery?

No, I've been to a bunch of other stuff, but I've seen a lot of it.

Like drinking out of a fire hose. There's so much information that I honestly don't know that I applied any of it. Truthfully, like I never experienced in fact, not that anybody there is asking me to consult with them, but like I wish I could tell them like there's a way for this to be way more effective for people you have to like pull back a little bit. There's so much information and for me the power of that ticket which by the way the next year my revenue went crazy the power of that ticket was the people that were around me Yeah, it was not what I saw on stage. It was that guy that I got to talk to and the other people in who were like, oh, you're doing this in marketing and like, oh, what are you doing with email? And how is it that was worth five times as much? Truly. And his marketing for that is so genius, if you've never heard it, because he always says, if you don't get a million dollars of value in the first day, I'll give you your money back. So you're like, oh, it's a money back guarantee. But yeah, I do think that it's why, you know, that's that old Jim Rohn thing, the five people, you are a combination of the five people you spend the most time with. And if you want to do different, like, I, you know, we're leaning into product and we have so much going on with holiday and shopping and all that stuff. And I reached out to a girlfriend who kills it in E-comm. And like, Hey, will you jump on the phone with me? Will you talk me through what you guys are doing? I'll tell you everything we're doing, like, let's share information. there's so much power if you have the ability to call that person and ask for that piece of information. But until you do, find it online.

Yeah, the investing in yourself and surrounding yourself with, with the coach or mastermind or something of people that are elevated at a level that you're inspired by, and they can be inspired by you in other ways, I think is extremely powerful. It's, it's pretty much how I've done everything for 12 years is being around the right people and investing in myself.

I will tell you, I have a girlfriend who does similar work and she tells the story of, I don't know if she names numbers, but I won't name her name and then it'll be okay. But when we first became friends, we were, it was towards the end of the year and we were talking about what we wanted to do in revenue in the next year. And she was like, okay, last year, you know, I did seven. I'm making this up, but it's something like this. She's like, I did seven million. And my big goal this year is to do 10. And I was like, do 12. She was like, what? And I'm like, you, you can do 10, you can do 12. And she was like, okay. And she called me in like August. She didn't even get to December. She was like, Rachel, I just passed 12. Like, I can't, she said, Only because you challenged me, because you said you could do 12. She's like, I just tried to figure out how in the world I could add two more million dollars. And she figured it out. And I didn't know what I was talking about. I was just trying to like hype her up as her friend. I was like, Dude, 12. Just like that. That's how you have to say it. But it worked. It is incredibly powerful to be around other people who will, who are above you and will challenge you to level up.

What is the thing do you think is holding you back mentally from doubling your revenue in the next year? Is there anything that's holding you back?

I think the, the biggest thing right now is trying to manage the mindset of staff who things have been in Such fluctuation, it's not what we're used to, and sort of getting everybody pointed in the same direction. We're going this way, here's what we're doing. Just get ready for 2021, because I'm coming out of the hardest year and I already told you I'm gonna be a warrior and man, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Yeah. It says, what's the vision moving forward?

I was gonna say world domination, but that sounds ridiculous. You know, this is, I started this company 17 years ago and in order to retain this company inside of a breakup, that cost me a lot of money. And so there's power for that in me. There's power in, like I said, like bouncing back and coming back and proving that I have the ability to do it. I've done it before and I'll do it again. and I could be really discouraged by what this has cost me. Or I can use that as fuel to do what's next. And so our Rise is the heartbeat of my company and always has been the Rise brand. That was what our events were. And so we'll continue to lean into virtual events because those have been massive for us and it's the first time that we've had people from all over the world. I mean, our first virtual conference 53,000 people.

Wow.

Yeah, 83 different countries. It was incredible. And so we're excited to elevate that in 2021. The Rise app, which is, you know, fitness for people who hate fitness. I feel like there's an entire segment of the population that have been left behind by the health industry. People who have felt shamed, people who hate working out, people who think something's wrong with them. And I really want to create a space where they feel seen. I keep describing the Rise app as like, if Richard Simmons invented a workout app, but it was designed by Target, that's what the Rise app is.

That's what the Rise app is.

Yeah. Right. We don't take ourselves seriously. We just want you to move your body. We do it in really fun ways, whether it's yoga or meditation or walks.

Or hikes or whatever. So that's an interesting part of the market. There's no one's really got that. You know, when you were saying that, I was like, with flight attendants from Southwest as your instructional teachers.

Right, right. It's like, you know, there is, most of my success in life, in business has been because I am talking to, like, for instance, I, you know, personal development or personal growth, that's sort of like what I'm known for. But my customer is not a woman who would self-identify as personal development. And so when we look into the health space, I am not competition for Peloton, I am not competition for Tone It Up or Beachbody and I don't want to be. I am speaking to a very specific group of people who would never do those apps because they feel intimidated. So I really love the underdog. I really love the people who, you know, they like, where do I belong? And I'm like, you belong with me. Come sit at my table.

Yeah.

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Talk to me about, you had a lot of opportunities that came in the last few years. One of them being Quibi, that I think you were like one of their bigger shows with all, you know, hundreds of celebrities and investing billions of dollars into this content and this platform that essentially was the biggest failure as a, as a business model in Hollywood for who knows many reasons. Obviously they blame COVID and all these different things, but the model probably was just flawed. How do you manage investing months of your life into an opportunity that seems like it's going to be this amazing big thing for many, many years that all of a sudden goes under or is going under? and you've still got to deliver content for a platform that may have no users.

Right. I mean, I was, we were filming, we literally filmed the last segment of the block we were on and then the announcement came.

They were like, okay, we're done. We're selling.

Right. Honestly, I, you know, I am so, I'm trying to think, it takes a lot to fluster me. It takes a lot because I'm just like, all right, we'll figure it out. With that one, I know this is gonna like people roll their eyes, it's gonna sound like BS, but it's not. We learned so much. We made so many connections. I can call Jeffrey Katzenberg right now, like we are friends. There were so many awesome things that came out of that. And I got to test this theory that I had that there was a, that women would really love teaching and lifestyle. See, when they came to me for that show, they just wanted teaching and I was like, no, it has to be something that marries these two things together. And I was right. It really worked. And the thing that's crazy about when I say that we were top five show of those top five shows, we were the only one they didn't market.

Why didn't they?

Because, you know, it was supposed to be like Chrissy's court was what was going to rule the day, right? They put all the marketing dollars into these big names. and then I'm over here, this little engine that could. And so I'm like, I know this is now a viable concept. So really like, oh my gosh, we learned so much. So I don't consider that a loss at all. I got paid. Yeah, right. Right. So we'll see what happens with that content in the future. But I think it's like something we're gonna remember forever. We'll be like, remember when we had a show on Quibi?

They're like, what was Quibi?

Exactly.

How have you learned about saying yes and no to things now? After it seems like for three years you pretty much said yes to everything is what it looks like. You're like, okay, is this gonna continue? Let's just say yes, yes, yes, because the opportunity is here. How do you make decisions now based on if it's a yes or if it's a no? What is the deciding factor for you when a massive opportunity or this book deal, the TV show or whatever, Netflix, What is a yes and a no?

It has to be, does it fulfill the vision that I have of the life I want to be at a year from now? Right? And as that vision expands to five years or 10, does this thing fit into that roadmap that I have in my mind? And if it doesn't, I have to say no. I have to.

No matter how much money or what could potentially happen.

No matter how much energy required It's like people don't understand energy. They don't understand. They're like, oh, it's just this little sim, you'll just do this thing. It'll be real quick. It's no, it's time out. It's the distraction. It's getting off course. It's doing that thing and then adjusting and like, there's so much energy required to operate at this level. You have to be laser focused on the things that are going to push your goal, like push your push you closer to the goal that you have in mind. so. Yeah. And I. To me, I'm all. I am always playing the long game now. I will not ever do this thing again where I'm on the runaway horse, and I'm just like, yes, yes. Okay. Yes. Do that, too. No. Now it's. It's not about short-term profit. It's not about short-term accolades. It's. I have this vision of where I want to go. What is it going to take to get there? it's going to be a slow process. Success is a slow process. And so many people drop out of the race because they want it to be overnight. And the people who are successful are the ones that just keep freaking showing up. So, yeah, that's how I decide is, is this something that fits into where I want to go, which is why it's scary when people don't have clear direction. for their lives. That's how you lose three years. That's how you start a business and you don't make any traction because you're just, you're all over the place because you're not like, nope. Like we as an entire company, everybody on the staff, I don't care what you do. The only thing we are working on until January is product. It's holiday, it's shopping. We have incredible products.

They are physical products.

Yeah, yeah. Physical products. That's the only thing. We have other lines of business. We have other stuff that's important. I do not care. It's the only thing we're focusing on because I believe that when every, like all the oars, all of us are rowing in the same direction, that's when you create magic. That's when you move a mountain. But if you don't have clear vision, you're all over the place.

Wow. what's the thing you want for the business in the future? Is it, do you want to sell it? Do you want to take it public? Is it something you want to just have for yourself? What's the vision?

I will sell rise someday. There's a number in my head.

There's a number.

There's a number.

What if it came next year? Would you sell it or would you want to grow it until I would.

Always be a part of it because I don't know how you could have rise and not have me attached. But yeah, hell yeah. Someone wants to give me the money, the amount of money I have in my mind next year.

I'll take it after this year. After this horrible year.

I think we're a minute away from that. But yeah, that's the vision is I'm really excited about, here's the thing, I never run out of ideas. I have so many ideas and I really get excited about bringing some of these other ideas to life, but I can't bring those to life without, you know, hurting this thing that is so important and matters so much. and so we've got to get this, we've got to incubate this before we go there.

Yeah, how do you connect with people and share them feedback on someone who's passionate about 10 different things? I get this all the time. I've got all these ideas that I want to execute on. What do I do first? How do I manage them all? What would you say? Because you've got ideas for days.

You don't, like, you can't, especially if you want to sell something to a consumer. Oh, gosh, Don Miller with StoryBrand podcast, StoryBrand book, which is so good that everyone should read, has this saying. He says, if you confuse, you'll lose. If your customers confuse about what it is you do, you're screwed. They don't know what it is. And it's so essential that you have total clarity on what you're creating and what you're doing. And that there's not a disconnect between the things that you're working on so that your consumer really understands what it is they're going to get from you. So there's all sorts of things on the horizon for me, but this is the focus right now.

And what's missing in your life right now?

What's missing? I was gonna say rest, but I'm going on vacation next week. So, yeah, so I'm very excited. I'm taking myself on a solo vacation. I cannot wait.

Where are you going?

Hawaii, my favorite.

You know something I did three years ago, I went to Hawaii and I left all my electronics at home.

Oh, nice.

One of the greatest gifts I ever gave to myself was leaving my phone in LA and getting off the plane.

Stressful to travel without a phone.

The first day, I was a little nervous, but maybe it's different being a guy. I don't know. I felt like, okay, if something happens, I can take care of myself. Yeah, I was like, I'll just scream and someone will run away from me, you know? But I remember, like, right when I got the plane, I was like, oh, I don't know where, which. car rental company I got a car from. So I literally went to like seven different ones because I was like, usually this is all my phone and it's fine. And I just wasn't even thinking. And so I went to all these places, asked them if they had my reservation. Then I literally just stop at a gas station, ask for directions to the hotel I'm going to. It was the first day I was like, this is kind of crazy. after day two, I was like, I could live like this the rest of my life. Oh, wow.

That's so rad.

It was a beautiful thing. I don't. I'm assuming you won't be able to do that, but if you ever do that, I guarantee it'll be an amazing experience for you to leave all Electronics at home. Wow. Connect. It's something about it. But so.

Sorry.

You're going to Hawaii. Yep.

That's what. That's what's missing. But you're gonna have a little more rest. Yeah, that's. That's the big piece right now, is I've just been going for. most people, like most business owners, I've just been going, going, going since March. And so I'm going to take a week and do nothing. I'm just going to like lay around and take naps and, you know, eat fish and that's what I'm going to do. And then I'm going to come back here and finish this year strong. But, you know, I really do, even when things are hard, I take really good care of myself. You know, I do the therapy. I make sure that I'm, am I emotionally okay? Am I too stressed? Do I need to take a walk? Do I need to take a nap? Do I need to hang out with my girlfriends and laugh? Like, I'm very conscious of how I'm feeling mentally, emotionally, physically, because operating at this level is, I don't want to sound like a douchebag, but I think of it like a professional athlete. It takes so much intention to be able to have this much energy to be in meetings all day, to be on for stuff like this. to make decisions that are millions of dollars that you're, okay, I'll buy this much product. Like it's a lot. And in order to do that, I have to be at my best. So I am crazy intentional about how I'm doing.

And what's the greatest fear moving forward that you've overcome the fear of judgment and pleasing people? What's the fear you got to overcome next?

I don't operate with a lot of fear. I gotta be honest, I really don't, I don't know, I just, I come back to again and again, like what is true? You know, my kids are healthy, everyone I love is safe. I've got food in my fridge, I have money in the bank. It's good, you know?

That's good. If you could go back before divorce and give yourself a conversation, knowing everything you've gone through, on top of divorce with COVID business and just everything that's happened, what would you say to yourself back then, you know, the day before you're going to have the conversation or go through the process to prepare yourself for what's about to come?

What would I say? Oh my gosh. You know, people always ask these questions like, oh, what would you tell your younger self? And I don't know, I live with such a like, whatever will be will be and it's all sort of happening for me. I'm trying to think of what, what I would have needed to hear back then. I guess I would say it's gonna be okay. You know, it's gonna be okay. It's why if you, if anyone's paying attention to my social, I say the same stuff over and over. I'm like, it's gonna be okay. You are strong enough. You will get through this. I'm saying to my compute, my community, what I need to hear on the hard days. so, yeah, it would probably be that. Just like, you got this. Yeah. Figure this out. And it. I'd say what I just said to my girlfriend, it's gonna suck, and eventually it's gonna get good again.

I wanted to ask you a couple of final questions, but you've got this book that's been doing extremely well called didn't see that coming. Putting a life back together when the world falls apart. And it sounds like the world has fallen apart for you in many ways, but also for. most of the world in many ways. They can get the book at didn't see that coming newbook.com.

You can get the book anywhere books are sold. You don't have to go to that website.

There you go. Anywhere on Amazon, they've got all your books and all your other books are on there as well. On Amazon, check them out. It's short. It's, I like shorter books that are real.

Yeah, I wanted something because it's talking about hard stuff, so I wanted that was, you could finish it really quickly. It's a very easy read.

Yeah, yeah. Check it out. Make sure to follow Rachel on all social media, your podcast. It's been crushing over the last few years. You're doing amazing with everything you're up to. You shared last time you were on, I'm not going to share them with you because I think they might be different. I'm going to let you know if they are different.

You're three years old.

Okay. Oh, this is exciting. So I've got them up here in front of me, and I'll just let you know if any of them are the same. So. if this was your last day and no one has access to any of your content anymore, all your podcast videos, all the old Quibi videos at this point, they don't have access to your books, you've got to take them with you. What would you say are the three lessons you would share with the world or your three truths?

I hope this is something I said to you last time because this is a cornerstone in my life and my work is you are in control. of what happens next. So much of what I do is about women, especially understanding that they are in control of their lives, of their mindset, of how they show up in the world. And so that is the realest, truest thing I know. Three things. I have to do three things.

Three truths. Three lessons. Three truths. And I'll tell you this. You got the first one exactly the same.

Okay, great. So you are in control. I mean, I guess I feel this right now because of the book and what I'm going through in my life, but you can get through this. Whatever it is, whatever is happening, the goal that you want to achieve, like any, you can, you are capable, you are strong enough, you can do this thing. And then I would also want people to know, oh my gosh, I listened to your podcast. I should have known this was coming. I forgot. Nobody else gets to define you. This is a lesson I feel like I keep learning again and again. And the freedom in letting go of what other people think and allowing yourself to the freedom to be who you are will change your entire life and will make it such a beautiful, richer, like better existence. Yeah. Someone else's opinion of you is none of your business.

Well, one out of three were the same.

Okay, what did I say last time?

And if people want to hear the other two, they could go listen to the other interview. The other read has got some amazing wisdom with their three truths. The other two. Plus an incredible interview that we did. I'll link it up in the show notes and in the description of the podcast. I'll tell you afterwards, don't worry. Great, great. They got to go back and listen to that. Again, make sure people check out the book. Didn't see that coming. Go get it right now.

All the other books become a part of the app.

Get some holiday shopping.

Right.

All the things. Get it all for your, if you're, yeah, get it for your wives, your girlfriends, or if you just want to shop for yourself, get some good stuff. I acknowledge you, Rachel, for showing up for who you are and who you want to be, even in spite of it being very unpopular to so many people and potentially hurting a lot of people, upsetting people, letting people down. I don't know the full story and everything of what's happened, but I acknowledge you in doing what you think is right and what you think you need.

To do in this moment in spite.

Of it hurting you financially, emotionally, physically, all these different things. So you're doing your truth and you're living that. And I acknowledge you for the actions you're taking and the way you're showing up for your community, even when they might be frustrated with you. So I think that's, that's very challenging to do. And I acknowledge you for constantly showing up for yourself in this way that you need to do that. Grateful for you. Hopefully when you're in LA, we'll get to hang soon. Yes, totally. And I, my final question, we'll see if you get it the same as.

Last time is what's your definition of greatness?

This now.

My definition of greatness, gosh, I would say my definition of greatness today is evolving, meaning evolving as a person. My greatest personal value is growth. And to be great, I think you have to constantly strive for what does great look like now versus what it looked like a year ago. and I think it's like I said, there's so much possibility and opportunity that's available to all of us if we cling to the future vision we have of ourselves. So greatness to me looks like leveling up consistently, as long as you are alive.

There you go, Rachel Haas. Thank you, appreciate it.

Thank you, my friends, so much for taking the time to listen to this episode. If you enjoyed it, if you got value out of this interview with me and Rachel, then please let me know by sharing it with a friend. Just copy and paste the link lewishouse.com/1048 or copy and paste wherever you're listening to this on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or any other platform that you listen to podcasts. Take that link and post it far and wide or just text it to a few friends that you think would enjoy this and gain value out of.

This wisdom and the experience from Rachel Hollis.

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I appreciate it because it shows me that you're interested in growth in your life. You're interested in learning more. You're interested in developing yourself and becoming a better person. So make sure to click that subscribe button right now and leave a rating and review. It'll make my heart feel pretty good. And make sure to text the word podcast if you want inspirational messages sent to you every single week from me. text the word podcast to this number 614-350-3960.

I'm so grateful that you're here and.

I want to leave you with this quote from Sheryl Sandberg who said, Fortune does favor the bold and you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try. And I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. Don't let anyone tell you you aren't. I'm telling you right now that you you are. I'm grateful for you. And you know what time it is? It's time to go out there and do something great.

Explore the world's hidden wonders on the Atlas Obscura podcast. A village in India where everyone's name is a song. A boiling river in the Amazon. A spacecraft cemetery in the middle of the ocean. Every day, the Atlas Obscura podcast will blow your mind in 15 minutes. You can find it on the SiriusXM app, Pandora, or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode.