803 What It Takes To Be a Champion

This is episode number 803 with what It Takes to Be a Champion. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. Mia Hamm said true champions aren't always the ones that win, but those with the most guts. Today we have an incredible episode with the greatest female athletes and champions to share their wisdom on how to be a champion in your life or anything that you're working towards. And you've heard of these women before, People like Maria Sharapova, who's a world-class tennis player, five-time Grand Slam champion. She's a medalist in women's singles at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London. Model, author, entrepreneur, and a powerhouse. We've got Catrin David's daughter, who's a legend in the fitness and CrossFit world, a CrossFit champion, Fittest Woman in the Earth in 2015 and 16, inspiration to so many people. Michelle Waterson, an MMA fighter in the UFC, ranks in the top of the UFC, anthem weight, and one of the best fighters in the world. Sasha de Julian is a champion rock climber who has won the world championships for female overall, plays silver in bouldering world championships, bronze in the dual, and is a three-time U.S. national champion. Such a powerhouse. We've got Brooke Ence, who's an elite CrossFit athlete as well, entrepreneur, social media fitness icon. The Bella Twins, Nikki and Brie Bella, WWE superstars and former Diva champions having debuted as a wrestling tag team in 2007. Massive social media following, brand, reality show, and so much more. Emily Skye, who is a health and fitness expert with over 14 million women worldwide having helped transform their lives with her signature workouts, meal plans and 24/7 support. And Danica Patrick is the most successful woman in the history of American open wheel racing. She's broken barriers and set records in her victory in 2008 Indy Japan 300 is the only win ever by a woman in the IndyCar series race. She's Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People list. She's got her own clothing line, entrepreneur, and inspiration. In this interview, we talk about the difference between being good enough and great enough. Powerful advice from all these superstar athletes and coaches. The lessons behind respecting your opponent and losing. Why negativity won't get you anywhere. Stepping into your greatness by being okay with being yourself. Why learning the hard way is sometimes the best way. I know that too much. Top tools on getting over insecurities, how to condition your mind against extreme pressure, and so much more. I am so excited about this, guys. Make sure to share this with your friends. Tag me. Tag the ladies in this episode as well on your Instagram stories or on Twitter, on social media. Text a friend, lewishouse.com/803. on what it takes to be a champion and lessons from some of the world's greatest athletes. Without further ado, let's dive into this episode on what it takes to be a champion.

It's funny, a lot of people ask me where, because one of my greatest strengths is that I come on the court and I feel that I have a mental edge against my opponents.

You do?

I do. Yeah.

Why do you think that?

I just do.

And what does the mental edge mean? That you're mentally tougher, smarter, more determined?

I don't want to use the word smarter. I think there are a lot of, in order to be a professional athlete and to be at the top of a game, you have to be pretty smart. You have to be talented. You have to be a hard worker. Everyone is. Everyone is all those things. There's no one that doesn't work hard.

Of course. They want to be there, yeah. What's the edge then?

I just really want it. I really, I think I, I, you, want to win. I want to win and I hate to lose and I, I, I don't like giving up.

But so do a lot of the top 10 people are probably all, well.

I think there's, I'm not sure.

You just think you want it more.

I think there's, there's a difference between showing up and playing, you know, to, because we have, you have a lot of different tournaments. You have Grand Slams, which is obviously the biggest tournament. And then you have tournaments that are somewhere in Europe or in the middle of Asia that are smaller tournaments. But you still, you can't just show up. You have to show up and compete. I don't believe, you know, a lot of people say that just by showing up that's something. I'm not quite sure that's, that mantra has never worked for me. I'd rather not show up. It must be a waste of time in many ways. Especially in my profession, just by showing up doesn't get me anything.

I mean, how are you so driven and why? to win and strive to be the best still.

Like, why? Because I love the sport. I love the sport. I love the feeling. I think also selfishly as a woman, it's a really good feeling to feel good at what you do. To feel strong and powerful and just good at it. And know that there's, by working on it, that you can be better. That's just, There's nothing else that where I feel that. Yeah. You know, I love doing other things, but I when I'm on the court and I even when I'm rusty or even when I don't get to a ball, which is a lot of times, it's like, oh, that chocolate I ate last night. Exactly. And you know, I eat a lot. So do I. I eat a lot. So, yeah, I just. I love the feeling of getting better. I love that challenge. And there's nothing winning. I mean, winning is a. In tennis is. Is a spur of the moment. It's not. It's like that final point and that emotion that you don't get with anything else. It's not like, I get it. I guess your success is in your own hands. It's not in the hands of anyone else. Yeah. You know, like, you have a team that.

That.

You build and that helps you get to, to get you to walk to Center Court and then you walk out there and, but then it's you. So, and if you lose, you know, or you win, it's on you. Yeah. And that's, I love that. I love that pressure.

Mm. So you can't get anywhere else.

No, not, I haven't found it yet. Yeah. So I hear you.

Do you have any regrets for your career of like, starting too soon or not going to school or relationships or anything like that? Is there any regrets along the way?

I don't want to use the word regrets. It's a pretty strong word. The one thing I do regret is not learning more languages when I was young.

How many do you know now?

Two, Russian and English. But I wish that I would have learned more languages. You pick them up so well when you're young. And I think especially in today's growing society and world, it would be really great to know more languages.

Yeah.

That's one thing. As far as other things in my career, I don't know, relationships. I think when you talk about career and relationships and regret, you talk about balance a lot, like that kind of strive for balance.

How do you do that?

I don't, because there's no balance.

It's full on for your... Well, I.

Don'T think there's, I don't think balance exists. I don't think there's ever 50 50.

Right.

I think if you're, if you're 50 50 then you're just 50 at one thing and 50 another thing. And is that good enough? I don't think so. No, it's not in my, not in my opinion. Right. So how do you, it can be good enough.

Right.

Which is, I know a lot of people that, that do it and, and that's, that's, they're good enough. That's, yeah, it's what they want. And that's what and It just has never worked for me. I don't feel fulfilled. I don't feel that I'm getting the most out of myself when I'm just 50-50.

What do you think it takes to be the best in the world?

Everything you got. If you're not giving it everything that you have, I always think this. I remember everyone likes balance, like talking about balance. So you need this and you need that. And you need to have this in your life. And I always felt very conflicted because that's not what I wanted. and I remember Ben was having a presentation once, and it's the first time I ever heard anyone say, Champions don't have balance. And I was like, he's right.

If.

It'S not right or wrong, for most people, it's probably the right thing to have balance.

Right.

But if you want to be the best in the world at something, you just can't, because if you're spending if you're spending your time on something other than your craft or something that other than something that's not going to make you better, someone else is spending their time on getting better. I always think that someone else is going to be spending their time, so I better be doing it too. There's a time and place for everything, like hanging out with your friends and getting your nails done, but that has to be the right time. When you've already put in, when you've slept enough, when you've eaten the right things and when you've done your training. And then sometimes it's good to get that little bit of break, but that has to be the right time. Yeah, I hear you. So yeah, it takes everything you've gotten, a lot of hard work.

The top three things.

The top three.

To coach someone.

It's focusing on the right things. You know, it's probably that you can't control others or the outcome, but you can control your sleep. Make sure you get enough sleep. That's like my number one recovery thing is sleep. if for nothing else, just like get your eight, hopefully 10 hours of sleep every night. And it's your diet, it's the effort that you put into what you're doing, whatever your craft is. It's focusing on the right things. And I feel like when you do that and you focus on the things that you actually can control, I feel like your mind is like, it's like a windshield wiper. Just see things clear and you're not constantly like fussing about little things or getting aggravated. Like, if you can change it, just change it. And if you can't, and then move on, you know, and you're not, I don't know, it at least gets my mind so much clearer. I think number two is probably focusing on details. I think there are so many little things that you think are little things, you know, like that little accessory thing at the end of your day that you could just skip or, you know, just having that one cookie, you can just have that one cookie or, you know, watching one more cookies.

Yeah.

Don't we all? And then, you know, watching one extra episode at night, because it's like it's only one more, but you're losing that hour. Yeah, you're losing that hour of sleep. It's washing your hands, you know, so that you don't get sick. Because a sick day, you know, can set you back a couple days. It's taking care of all the little details that seem so little in the time, and they're like, oh, it's just 1% or 1%, but they're really quick. 1% add up really fast to something that's really big. And the third thing is relationships. It's developing great relationships around you. And I see that with the way that he treats his family and his friends and who he coaches. It's like you create a great life with the relationships that you create around you.

I think you have to have a really strong, genuine, deep confidence. Like it has to be like deep in your core. It has to be unshakable.

You know, you can't doubt yourself.

You can't doubt yourself at all. And you have to be two steps ahead of everybody else. And what does that mean? Because there's so many like different things that go into fighting, you know, it's not just physical. Of course it is, obviously. You have to be physically ready. But once you surpass that, once you guys are are all on the same level physically, then it becomes a mental game. Are you mentally sharp? Can you deal with the media? Can you deal with all the outside noise? Can you deal with all the inside noise in your head? Can you deal with all of the other circumstances surrounding you as you are training for this fight? It's just so many different elements that go into it, and everything has to fall into place. For you to win that one night.

Yeah, one moment.

One moment.

To change everything. What do you do to silence the conversation that holds you back when it comes up?

I take a deep breath and I tell myself confidence. And, It just calms me. I feel like we all have that voice in our head, that like inner critic that will, in my mind, it's my mom, like, what are you doing? You know, my mom is just like super like critical and like it has always, but I think it's just culturally like that's how they raise their kids. It's kind of like a that negative motivation, put the chip on your shoulder, you know? But I've been working a lot with a sports psychologist and he explained it.

To me.

In a way that like the same emotions you get when you're fearful are the same emotions you get when you're excited. We just perceive them differently. So anytime I do get nervous or afraid or anxious, I just take a deep breath and I tell myself confidence. and it reminds me to use that energy, that nervous energy, and transform it into good energy, energy that's going to feel me, energy that's going to build confidence within me and energy that's going to allow me to use it towards my benefit.

In your opinion, what does it mean to respect your opponent? And how can you be respectful to your opponent when you're fighting them and pounding their face in the ground?

That'S a hard one. That is a hard one because, like I said, like I'm a people pleaser, I like to, I'm not trash talker. I'm not good at, it's a fine line. And I think it depends on the person, really. There have been fights where I have given my opponent too much respect and maybe subconsciously felt like they deserve the win over me.

Really?

Yeah.

Why?

Because of their status, because of their ranking, because I knew them personally. And that's hard. You have to shelf that. You have to shelf that. You have to say, I respect you. But at the end of the day, you and I are both getting in here to take each other's heads off. And if I don't get into the cage to do that, then I'm doing you a disservice.

You're doing her a disservice.

Yeah, because I'm not giving her my 100. You know, I'm not giving her my. My true warriors.

I'll take it easy on you.

Yeah, like when you're like playing with your little sister, little brother, and they tell you no punching. So you, you know, you just, you kind of like scale it back. Like you're doing your opponent disservice when you, when you do that. And that's how I've had to look at it. I've had to look at, I've had to take my opponent out of the equation.

Like your feelings for them, you care.

For them, your, I had to go into the octagon and tell myself that I deserve to win because I've put in all the time, I've put in all the work, you know, and whatever happens after that happens.

How do you stay focused when it's like, okay, I'm about to climb this next step. But it's a scary moment. I don't know, there's uneven footing or, oh, there's nothing. Have there ever been a place where you're a thousand feet up and there's nowhere to grab?

Yeah, I mean, sometimes you encounter parts of a climb that you don't think are physically possible for you. And a lot goes into, like, kind of whittling down all the little pieces and trying out different ways. that you can find a solution?

Because you'll try it and you'll fall a bunch, a few feet or whatever reason.

Yeah, exactly. And you keep pulling back on.

No way.

Trying something else, fall, pull back on, try and find a little credit card size protrusion in the rock to dangle off of. And then if that doesn't work, then you either just keep banging your head on it or train harder and return.

What happens if it doesn't work? Do you just go back down?

Yeah, sometimes.

Shut up. It seems like a thousand feet in the air.

Yeah, you could be like, I can't do this right now.

And there's 50 feet to go.

Yeah. You can literally be stopped. If you're on like a 3,000 foot climb, you can be stopped by six feet. Because if something doesn't go, if you can't physically do it and move, then that can be the end all. But I think a lot of what climbing has taught me is there's often a solution. You just have to open your mind up to different possibilities. A lot of climbing, what's so intriguing about the sport physically to me is that it can be the smallest difference in body positioning that makes all the difference. So it's like a very upper body, hand strength oriented sport, but you're really using your entire body, like your core, your hips, and normally the driving force. You have ideally like using your footwork really well because you have to balance on like tiny little nubbins and shift. your weight and allocate so that you can exert enough force to move up the wall. I really do believe in listening to the universe, and I think that if you open yourself up to what the universe is trying to say to you, then there's this timing and process to life that makes sense. If you let it make sense. So everything in my life. I mean, I feel like when I look back, I'm like, oh, that makes sense. The timing or the situation that that negative experience led me to a positive experience. It's kind of interesting. Like, I think that makes me less anxious if I just trust the process. Even right now, I have this air boot on because I have a fractured fibula, and it's like when I did that, it was after, I mean, I was training for the New York City Marathon and I was on a climbing trip through Europe and then Jordan and then back to Europe. And so I had this pain in my leg and I was like, I don't know why my leg is so painful, but I'm just gonna keep charging on. And I was like hiking with heavy.

Pack and climbing and-- and training for running.

Yeah, training for the marathon. Like not listening to my body. But then I got to Germany and I got an MRI and I learned that I had a stress fracture. So I was like, oh, good thing that my pain tolerance isn't negligible at least.

Yeah.

Then I was given this air boot and I arrived to this series of conference in Miami with the International Women's Forum. And I had all these blossoming business ideas that I needed to be in one place to actually take advantage of and organize, I think, just give my life a little room to breathe and be home and get grounded again. So I saw this air boot as life's way of saying slow down. listen to your body and just be still. And I think now I'm in a much healthier mindset than I was when I was not stopping traveling. 'Cause I was on the road for about four months straight up to this point of, okay, now you're gonna chill. Yeah, come inward and get your life. Just let it chill a little, be home.

I was at a place where I needed to, if I wanted to be better, if I wanted to be better than I ever could have been, I needed to work through this stuff. Like I needed to tear the walls down. I think to a certain point, the walls I had built or the things I had, the lies I had told myself so I could like get through a day without thinking negative thoughts about myself probably really helped me get to a certain point. But to become anything more or better or bigger than that, I had to deal with them. And that's kind of what happened. How'd you deal with them?

Well, I read a book, one, talking.

To people that I really trusted. The thoughts that I have instead of just keeping them inside because I'm embarrassed about them, saying them out loud to someone that I trusted so they could, one, when you tell them to a friend and they look at you, they're like, you know how ridiculous that sounds, right? But then also, too, sometimes you say them out loud to yourself and you're like, Oh, that sounds way dumb. So a lot more of that. And then I read a book from Bernadine Brown, Daring Greatly.

Yeah.

Literally promote that book to like everyone.

She's amazing.

Yeah.

And that was probably the book that really helped me decide how I could start sort of mending things moving forward and realizing that we have all of these moments that you can always just make a change. Like, I'm feeling all these things, and I've been affected by what people have said about me. And I knew that I wanted to feel better and change and. And move on and move forward and grow from the experience. But for some reason, it was almost like I was waiting for this moment where it was like, well, now you can.

Right.

But in reality, it's like, You have a million moments.

Yeah. Every moment we get to decide.

And you just get to make a choice.

And that's the challenge. I meet with a lot of people who don't believe in themselves. They don't think they're ready or they don't think they should be in the position they're at or they have this imposter syndrome. And every moment, like you said, we have an opportunity to decide if we want to continue to tell ourselves negative things or say something positive that we do belong or we are good enough or we're here exactly where we need to be at the right time. And a lot of people, I think, struggle with accepting their greatness or accepting the success they're getting. And it always frustrates me why we struggle with that, because we should be stepping into it more and more to inspire other people. And when we constantly say negative things to ourselves, it just holds us back and holds other people back. But like you said, when we start to talk about it with friends, that's when we realize how stupid or ridiculous it may be. And so sharing these things more with people and not just holding it in is what's going to help us move forward. So I'm glad you started doing that.

Yeah, I mean, it really started to make a difference in one. It's like in relationships in, in my training, and it really was just me realizing that the only person that was holding me back was myself. and really helped me realize that I don't have to give power, not only I do not have to give power to my negative thoughts, I don't have to give power to strangers thoughts. Like people say dumb stuff all the time. And if you don't like the way I look or you don't like the way I dress, it still doesn't affect the fact that I'm still gonna go and be successful. And I'm still gonna go and be the person that I'm supposed to be, even if you don't like me.

What's up?

No matter what it is you do, people are gonna love you and people are gonna hate you. And like, you have to be okay with that.

They're gonna spin things the way they want it to be for good TV.

Right.

And how the world will perceive you, like, I don't like how she lives, or I don't like how she talks, or I don't like how she walks, or how she dresses, or I don't like how she eats her food, or I don't like how her and her sister are, or, You have the opposite. I love how they are. Oh my gosh, I could relate to them. And so you just know that no matter I could act like Mother Teresa all I want. It doesn't matter.

You could save every tree in the world.

Yes.

Like Bree and it doesn't matter. They're like, she's so annoying. Like she saves so many trees.

Right.

But you know, so that was, I think the scariest part was just the feeling of like, okay, I'm going to be judged constantly.

And so. How have you guys handled that? In the beginning, it kind of rocks.

Your world a little bit.

You're just kind of like, because social.

Media, you could see everything. Every tweet, everything. Yeah, and you think to yourself, like, don't take it personal, but it's hard not to. And like, it affects you, and you're like, you can't let this affect you. The person might have had a really bad day. It's so hard to think that way. And, but now it doesn't at all. Now it's like, kind of, we let everything roll off us, but at the end of the day, we're like, the whole world's not gonna love you. It's half of it's gonna hate you.

Half of it's gonna love you, and that's okay. And I think everyone goes through this, and I think, because of social media, and I think it's important to go through it, is you're going to go through that tough time of like, it's okay to be upset about seeing hate about you and stuff that you feel is like not true. And I think I had to go through that period of time of where I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm totally getting bullied online. This is crazy. And having those feelings of being so down because then it made me be like, wait, why am I letting these people affect me? One, I don't even know these people. But why am I letting them affect me? Like, this is crazy. Like, I'm proud of who I am. And you know what?

If these people don't like it, then bye.

It's crazy how much I'm learning as a business owner. You probably weren't trained in the last 15 years or 20 years on how to do this.

Right.

So you have to learn on the job.

Yes.

Essentially. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've learned the hard way many times.

'Cause I wasn't trained this way either. You're just like, I have this passion, this idea. I wanna bring it to life.

Right.

But I sometimes feel like, I don't know if you feel this way, that it's sometimes good to learn the hard way. Absolutely. Because I feel like that gives you success over time. Like that long term success. If it works from the beginning, that's not good.

I think you want to struggle a little bit.

Yeah.

Or at least have some adversity. So you say, oh man, that's a good lesson. I don't want to do that again. Yeah. I think we need some of that.

Totally.

I mean, we've had, what, two to three times where we thought maybe we.

Shut down Birdie B.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, you know, What's funny is, you.

Gotta be fully invested.

Yeah.

You gotta be fully invested.

You do the last three years because we've hit some rock bottom points and Nicole and I looked at each other like, how do we, like our first time, we were just kind of led the wrong way and we put all our apples into one person and all of a sudden their vision was way different and tried to execute it and we were like, no, no, no, no, no. And then all of a sudden it was like, Birdie Beat went away.

I knew that I'd do something good and I wanted to do something that would help other people. I didn't know what it was going to be, but I knew that I would have some sort of following. I don't want to say Fame, but, like, some sort of people looking to me for something, which I thought was ironic because I was so insecure and so shy.

But you knew that's something you wanted.

I knew it. I knew that it was. Yeah, I knew. And it was weird because over here, I've got this, like the ultimate of what I want to be and what I want to do. I didn't wasn't sure that what it was at that stage. And I'm down here and I thought, how can I be that though? I'm supposed to be there, but I'm here now. And it just, it was a weird feeling. And then I knew that I had to start working on myself. And I did reach a point where I did, it was probably early to mid 20s, so I was, I guess, fairly late. And I started working towards making myself the best I could be by getting healthy and fit and being more positive and having some self-belief surrounding myself with more positive people. and realizing what actually made me happy in life, which was fitness, obviously, and health and helping people. So that's when I started doing what I'm doing now and sort of building that.

What are some of the tools that you use when you're looking to overcome that insecurity or fear or comparison? Because I think this will be helpful for a lot of people who are constantly comparing.

Yeah.

To see someone like you with a massive audience, great body, great image, great everything. on how you do that.

I think you've got to work out what makes you happy in life and what's most important to you. Is it really trying to be perfect and worrying about what everyone else thinks of you, especially on social media? If you put up a photo and people say, oh, you look great here, does that really make you happy? Temporarily, yeah. You feel good. Your ego is getting fed, but long term, I don't think it really does. And I think you need to get to a point where you do know what makes you happy and you aware of that and you you don't rely on that to keep feeding the happiness. But when I feel down, and I've talked about this before with my followers, but when I get in my sort of down moments, and I haven't had one for a while, which is a good thing. That's great. But last year I had a bit of a time. I think I'd been traveling a lot and I just got really run down and everything just went to shit pretty much.

It's hard to keep your body healthy.

And then your mind goes and, oh, I was feeling crappy. I wasn't training, which is a big thing. Getting moving is incredible. It does incredible things for you and the endorphins that you get from it are really, it's a real thing. It is a real thing.

Yeah.

I hadn't been doing it for a while and I just, I didn't want to.

I wasn't motivated.

And I thought, how can I move to work out? How can I get myself back there? I know that that's what changed my life. And yet here I am stuck feeling shitty again. I thought, okay, well I don't want to go to the gym because I'm not motivated to do that. How can I get myself there? So I put music on. and dance around the house. And I started learning hip-hop I was putting tutorials on the big screen on YouTube and dancing around the lounge room like an idiot. I was no good at it, but it's not the point. That's right.

I felt good.

I felt happy. And the music left my mood. And I started getting Outdoors outside in the. In the sun and fresh air and just finding that balance again and, I guess, grounding myself in a way so I could start to feel like, okay, what is it? What is it that makes me happy again? What is it that gives me life that makes me jump out of bed every day. So I got back there and then I'm back on track again. So you gotta find what it is that does it for you. Maybe it's reading a book, maybe it's walking, I don't know, ice skating, rock climbing, whatever. Do something that makes you feel good again, but you gotta find your creative. And my creative for me is training and getting outdoors and talking to people and helping people.

Yeah, it's probably not sticking on your.

Phone looking on Instagram all day. No, that can be quite poisonous. I know. Yeah, and you gotta set boundaries for yourself and restrictions.

There you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this interview series with some of the greatest athletes in the world on what it takes to be a champion. Again, a big thank you to all the ladies who have inspired so many people around the world and for sharing their wisdom on the School of Greatness. If you want to be a hero to someone today, you can do that by sharing this episode with them. Just copy the link. and paste it over a text message, post it on Facebook Messenger, Instagram DM, anywhere you want to share it. Be a hero to someone. Spread the message of inspiration and greatness in their life today. All it takes is one share. Again, let me know what you think @LewisHowes over on Instagram. Tag the ladies who you enjoyed listening to this as well. They are so inspiring and I've learned so much from all of them. And no matter where you're at in your life, remember that true champions aren't always the ones that win, but those with the most guts. That was Mia Hamm that said that. And you may not have the most talents in the world right now. You may not have the skills or the resources or the opportunities that other people have. Life isn't fair that way. But the equalizer of all of this is effort, is guts, is how much you're willing to go after what you want. Every time I step on court or watch a game, I'm more inspired by the person with the most guts than the person with the most talent. Make sure you go out there and share yourself. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Put everything on the line for what you want. That, my friend, is a true champion. I love you all so very much and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.