865 Gabby Bernstein on Healing Trauma and Spiritual Freedom

This is episode number 865 with number one New York Times bestselling author, Gabby Bernstein. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. the inspirational Fred Rogers said, Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. If you were a big fan of Mr. Rogers like I was, and you enjoyed his constant message to help you feel more at home, to allow you to understand and talk about those feelings that seem scary, seem messy, seem shameful, then you're going to love this episode. Gabby Bernstein is a dear friend. she's the number one New York Times bestselling author of six books and an international speaker and spirit junkie. She's spoken on Oprah's stage at her Super Soul Sessions and was named as a new thought leader on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday, where she was included in the Oprah Winfrey Network in their Super Soul 100. She has presented lectures at Google, TEDxWomen, the Chopra Center, The Omega Institute, L'Oreal philosophy and the Huffington Post and many others. Gabby appears regularly as an expert on the Dr. Oz Show and Mashable included Gabby in its list of 11 must follow Twitter accounts for inspiration. And her latest book will blow you away. I've been diving in and loving it. It's called Super Attractor and Gabby lays out essential methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams. Super Tractors out right now. And in this episode, we talk about why people feel they need to constantly defend themselves. Man, I have been there in my past, especially when you feel unjustly attacked, right? We want to defend ourselves. Gabby's personal struggle with postpartum depression and how it's drawn her to working with new mothers. The power of having gratitude for life's challenges, the differences between having spiritual guides and intuition, the biggest lessons she's learned from motherhood and her important advice for young women. This one is powerful. And Gabby opens up about some very, very personal intimate things in this episode. So please be aware and share her some love when you listen to it and you hear what she's talking about. Feel free to spread the message. Have other women who you think might be going through similar challenges. Listen to this episode as well. You can just send them the direct link on Apple Podcast or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this, or you can send them to lewishouse.com/865 and have them connect with you on this message. Be a champion in another person's life today by sending them this episode. This podcast is sponsored by Northwestern Mutual. Everyone wants to feel good about their finances, right? Well, that's why I've had life insurance with Northwestern Mutual for years. Their financial professionals ask the right questions, truly listen, and help uncover opportunities most people miss. I've seen it firsthand. Northwestern Mutual has been a part of my journey from the very beginning, providing the security and peace of mind I need as a human and an entrepreneur. Find a better way to money@nm.com the Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, paid testimonial by a Northwestern Mutual policy owner.

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Father's Day is coming up, and for lots of dads out there, dad doesn't quite cover it. They're groundskeepers, patio whisperers, and rogue leaf vigilantes too. So this year, show dad some love with gifts from the Home Depot. They've got fast free delivery on handy gear that helps dad do his thing. We're talking Ryobi cordless outdoor tools like the Ryobi 40 volt expanded string trimmer. Find the perfect Father's Day gift at the Home Depot. Shop in store and online at homedepot.com, free delivery subject to availability. And without further ado, let's dive into this episode with the one and only Gabby Bernstein. Welcome back. Everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. We've got my dear friend Gabby Bernstein in the house. I'm so glad you're here. It's amazing to see you. Congrats on all the success. It's incredible. Thank you. You've got this book out called Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond youd Wildest Dreams.

I'm telling you, I think this is your best work. A lot of people are saying that. And I wrote my book, the Universe Has youe Back, and it really helped a lot of people. That was amazing. And so I was scared when I put this out. I was like, 'cause this is kind of a sequel. It's kind of the next step for the universe. And I was nervous because I was thinking, oh, no, are people gonna have the same heartfelt experience with this book as they had with the universe. And they've said it's better.

It's amazing, yeah.

So I'm very pleased.

Now you had an email that you wrote a few days ago that I saw.

Yeah.

That I thought was really interesting that you wrote this email. It was about how you apologized to your audience for essentially not being present on a book tour that you're on, for being disconnected.

Well, during the book signing.

During the book signing. And I'm not sure what went down. I read the email and I was like, wow, that's really powerful. And I'm assuming that you got some negative feedback from your super fans who showed up.

Right. What happened? So a lot more people showed up than we expected.

A lot more.

Yes, yes. And I didn't have enough volunteers. It was our first event. We were kind of off the rails. It was off the rails. And I can only be the one that's like, you know, at the end of the day, it's my business. I can't blame anybody else. You know, it's my face on the book, right? So we didn't have enough books for people. About 400 people didn't get their books, or maybe 200 people didn't get their books. We had to send them later. I don't actually even need to get into the details, 'cause the details don't matter. Because of that chaos, I felt out of control. And that's a trigger for me. And we talked a lot about these triggers. Scorpios need to be in control. Scorpios, but even just my history, like- Addictive personality, history, everything. You know, trauma in the history, like I don't feel safe when I'm feeling very out of control. tons of people coming at me and my team is not doing the moves that they need to do to keep it organized. So I kind of just like, you know, just kind of got up and was like, okay, guys, we have to move this along. And like, I wasn't the teacher that they came to see in that moment. And, you know, somebody might have been like, okay, she's tired. But in a few cases, people were like, that's not right. This is I drove here five hours to be with you and I wanted my photo and I wanted to, you know, have a moment with you and And the thing is I woke up that morning feeling so hungover because I was like, wait, the only reason I do this is to make people feel good, is to help people feel good. And so even if I'm having a human experience, I can do that with grace, right? I can say, yeah, guys, it's getting chaotic here, but how can we work it out? So anyway, I did what I've been in recovery for 14 years, so I have a good program of owning my side of the street.

Right.

So I was like, I just gave everybody a lot of excuses for why this happened, but the real big thing was to not make any excuses, right? So in that blog, I just said, this isn't my highest self. And I apologize, and I promise to make it up to all of you and look you all in the eye and honor every book I ever signed for the rest of my life. And the beauty of that was not that people responded so beautifully and were grateful for that message, but that since that day, I've had many book signings, and I've had really nice intimate moments with people, even if it's for a split second, because I'm making sure that I look everyone in the eye. And there's been plenty of book signings over the last 15 years that I have looked people in the eye and prayed with them and held them. But there's human moments when you fall off the rails. But it was good. I said to my team, I was like, I won't actually be able to move forward if I ignore this.

Wow.

I have to apologize.

Wow. Did it affect that many people in your mind?

It wasn't just like 15, 20 people actually saw that moment of attitude, but- But still. It was, and then the other people that didn't get their books, and there was disappointment all around. But from my end of the street, that even if it was two people that were, only two people emailed in about it, but it was enough for me to apologize.

Yeah, that's good that you were able to see and be responsible for what you wanna create and also be the example. And I'll just say, I'm better than you do. I've got more better things to do.

No, it's like we apologize and then I allowed that to be a blog where I could say, this is how I apologize and maybe that will serve you too. And the biggest thing is to not make excuses even though I made a bunch of excuses just now. But we want to defend ourselves when we've done something wrong. And we want to- oh gosh, I hear you. Yeah, and honestly the best thing to do is just be like, no, I'm wrong. and yeah, maybe other people are involved, but I'll own my side of the street. I'll own my part here.

I love that.

Yeah.

Why do we want to defend ourselves so badly when we feel like someone has tried to wrong us or someone has tried to fight against us or say nasty things or they don't see the full picture.

There's many reasons. I think that we protect ourselves at all costs no matter what, because there's, Fear of being taken advantage of, fear of being not good enough, fear of being seen in a bad light, fear of being judged. It's just such probably one of the greatest fears we have is a fear of being judged, right? So when somebody calls us out on our, there might be an immediate reaction of defensiveness because we're ashamed to look at that truth. And then also, if somebody calls us out on something that isn't true, then there's just this feeling of injustice. It's not fair, whatever. But it's being centered enough with the self-love, truly, to be able to sit there and say, I'm gonna own my side of the street, I'm gonna take care of this, or this isn't correct, and I'm just not gonna respond. So you have to know, and you have to know the difference when to respond and when not to respond. Because if you are really in the wrong, respond. with humility and apologize. Yeah.

Do you think the biggest thing that holds people back from attracting what they want is a lack of confidence, is a lack of getting out of their own way? Because you have these different steps of attracting what you want. Is it a lack of confidence? Is it forcing too much? You say people are forcing so much.

Yeah, there's a few different examples I give in the book. There's the pusher, right? So the person that thinks that if I don't do it, it won't happen. If I'm not forcing it, if I'm not pushing it, if I'm not trying to make it happen, it won't happen. I'm a former pusher. You saw me. I mean, we go back many years.

Me too, yeah.

But you know, when you, before I, I mean, this must have been five years ago that we did an interview and it was before I really understood why I was so in control, why I was needing to be, 'cause I hadn't remembered my trauma and I had, you know, I was living in fight or flight. that was an extreme pusher. And in that energy, we may be able to create some successes, but we will never have that, that life that is what we truly want.

Fulfillment, inner peace.

And we block bigger stuff too. We block bigger stuff. We block it because our energy is just so frenetic. There's also the, the person who's like the manic manifester who is very, a lot of my audience can identify with this. They're like, you know, reading all the books, watching Lewis Howes, watching this, doing this meditation every single day, and they were just like, why am I not manifesting? Why am I not manifesting? But it's because they've made their spiritual practice another form of addiction.

It's a big one. So how do we, so if someone's doing the steps, when they're a manic manifestor, but they're not attracting what they want, what is the thing that they need to let go of the most? If they are doing the habits, and.

They are doing the steps, and they are following your work, you just said it, they just need to let go. It's like you can practice these principles, but not because you think you're gonna get something. You have to practice these principles so that you feel good. And this isn't actually a book on how to get things, though it sounds like it. It's a book on how to feel good.

Because when we feel good, we're super attractor. We attract more, yeah. Super attractor. So how do we feel good? If we're not feeling good, if we're feeling stuck, if we're not getting what.

We want, we're in the toxic relationship, we're unhealthy. It seems so easy, just start feeling good. No, it's a whole book on steps to, but the first thing I say in the book, which is gonna sound a little alarming to people, but is the first step to feeling good is to decide to stop feeling bad. Now, how do we do that?

A lot of people out there watching.

Are like, I'm depressed, I'm broke, you know, I'm on medication. I'm on medication, I can't, you know, I don't, how could I decide to stop feeling bad? Well, I'm very proud to say I can speak to this very authentically. As you may have known, I had postpartum depression and anxiety and insomnia, About five months into recovery from that. And at my darkest moment, you know, Mother's Day, I said I wanted to kill myself. Wow. Yep, yep. Holy cow. Yeah, no, it was the darkest. I've had a lot of dark moments in my life. This is the darkest, darkest moment of my life.

When having a child was something you wrote about as like a dream of yours.

It's a biochemical issue that happens to far more women than are actually properly diagnosed with it. A lot of people think, oh, I'm just anxious 'cause I'm a new mom. No, you're having a biochemical response to birth.

Why do women have that?

Your brain chemistry changes after you, and it's in the months postpartum. So that's what they call postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety. You know, they look out for it within the first six weeks to see if you have symptoms. And whenever you go to a pediatrician, they'll ask the mom questions, How are you feeling? Are you sleeping? All these things? Because they're looking for it. I was fine for about two, three months, and then, I went, my son was sleeping through the night. I was having panic attacks all day, panic attacks through the night. You know how social I am? I couldn't sit in the front seat of a car with somebody. I had to sit in the back seat. I would go to parties and cry. I was agoraphobic. I was, and I really hit bottom when I missed an event. Like, I've never missed an event or- you- were on an event or- I had to give a talk and I didn't go because I hadn't slept in two weeks. And the night before, I didn't sleep one minute. and I woke up that morning and I was like, I've never missed an event in 15 years, and I gotta do something about this. And so then I got in touch with the psychiatrist. I went on antidepressants. Wow. Yep. Seven self-help books, right? And like here I am, a mom. And I had to, it saved my life. I would have died. I would have killed myself. Really?

100%. It was just that much of a chemical.

I can't say that I would have killed myself because someone would have intervened before that happened, which is exactly what happened. My therapist intervened. She's like, your tools aren't working. I was in two therapy sessions a week. I was talking to sleep doctors. I was- Yoga, meditation, yoga, meditation, yoga, belladonna, like everything, it wasn't working. And that's when my therapist was like, you have to have medical intervention. Wow. Yeah. And I'm talking about the medication a lot because I feel like in our world, it's so frowned upon. But there's a place for everything. You know, if you had a heart condition, you would take blood thinners without a shadow of a doubt, right? Someone's like, you will die if you don't take this. Well, why not with mental illness? Yeah. Right? And of course, these things are so over prescribed, and I wanna really acknowledge that. I don't think people should just take meds because they're sad, you know? But if you are depressed, if you are suicidal, if you are having insomnia and panic attacks, there's a time and season for that kind of support. But the biggest thing is when you get that support, what are you gonna do with it? And so when my therapist said to me, My psychiatrist said to me, this will give you an opportunity to do the deep work that you've been too afraid to do.

Wow.

So I've never felt more free in my life and more happy and serene and centered in my life than after having gone through postpartum depression because the, you know, being on the support of the medication and the psychiatric help, I was able to be at a baseline where I could go and do incredibly deep Trauma healing work.

What did you do?

What was it?

We were doing EMDR.

I hear that's amazing. Yeah, it's exceptional. I recommend it to everyone. And I'm going into the trauma and.

I'm literally, my body is like excavating. Yeah, yeah. Didn't you have a lot of, I mean, you've been doing this work for 15 years on yourself. You've been doing trauma healing, you've been doing therapy healing, you've been releasing the past pains, wounds, all these things for years. So are you telling me that they.

Haven'T gone away once you did the healing for 10, 15 years?

Is that still there?

Is that still there? No, I said to my psychiatrist, I don't think that 99% of people actually recover from trauma. And she said 99.9. And so it's my mission to recover first and be fully recovered and be completely free from it. And then write books about it and teach people and help people really know a pathway to recovery.

How do we recover fully where it's like, you're the 0.01%.

How does that- I think recovery looks like To me, recovery looks like forgiveness. Recovery looks like you're no longer triggered. Recovery looks like the reactivity, the fight or flight, the freeze, the ways that we respond because of the trauma are gone. They'll be released.

Man, I'm not healed then.

No, no. And nor am I, but I will tell you I'm much closer.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm so much closer. Little things will, you know, feeling out of control, like at the book signing, that was my trauma response. But I didn't justify it. You know, I got myself out of it fast. Within 10 minutes of being in that space, I got into a different space, but I affected 20 people, right? So it's, you know, it's something that it becomes easier and easier to move out of the more you... And then through EMDR, you could actually walk out of an EMDR session just new. like in a moment be like, that's clear.

Wow.

That's clear.

And not be triggered by it again.

Yes, that's right.

That's powerful.

Yeah.

I feel like our healing process and correct me if I'm wrong, my experience is our healing process goes through waves.

Yeah, it does 100%.

Where I was very triggered for 25 years of my life from my traumas, my own personal traumas. Always triggered. I was always a happy person, but I was triggered when it would hit the button.

You were protective of yourself.

When the button would happen, it was like, I wanted kill someone. Yeah, 'cause that was my defense mechanism. And it's normal. Then I had multiple breakdowns in my life, which I've talked about in my books and on the podcast, where it was like the perfect storm of breakdowns. Probably something similar where you're like, okay, the perfect storm for you, where you wanted to have thoughts about killing yourself. And I finally had intervention with my best friend. It was like, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore if you continue to be this way. If you're so reactive, if you're so negative, and when these things happen, like, why are you so reactive? Nothing's happening. You know, it's not like someone's trying to kill you. Someone just said something and you were so reactive. And that's when I said, okay, I need to start doing some work on myself. And that's when I opened up about sexual abuse and other traumas. A force inside and out. The Range Rover Sport is available with a choice of powerful engines, including a plug-in hybrid with an estimated range of 53 miles. We all know that staying hydrated is so important, and we've heard it a million times. But let's be real, you can really feel the difference when you're hydrated properly, you're sharper, you're energized, and you're ready to go. And when you're not, well, you feel foggy, sluggish, just drained. And with the summer heat coming, staying on top of hydration isn't just a good idea, it's a must. And that's why I love Liquid IV. It's powered by LIV Hydrasceince, which is clinically studied to maintain hydration better than water alone for up to four hours. And I've been loving the new sugar free raspberry lemonade hydration multiplier. It's so refreshing. And I don't know about you, but if I'm not hydrated, it's hard to function. Whether I'm gearing up for a workout, recording a podcast, or pushing through a packed day, liquid IV always keeps me hydrated. And if you've ever hit that mid afternoon slump or struggled to keep up, trust me, this is a game changer. Maximize your hydration with liquid IV and get 20 off your first order of liquid IV when you go to liquidIV.com. .com and use code Lewis at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code LEWIS@liquidIV.com this is an advertisement from BetterHelp. You know, one of the biggest stigmas we still need to break, especially for men, is the idea that asking for help is weakness. In reality, it's the most courageous thing you can do. Taking care of your mental health doesn't make you soft. It makes you strong, focused, and grounded. We live in a world that puts a lot of pressure on men to man up, stay silent, and just push through. But bottling it all up only leads to burnout, anxiety, or worse. And the truth? It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not have all the answers. And there is real power in opening up. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, helping over 5 million people get the support they need without the hassle of waiting rooms or long commutes. You can talk to a therapist from wherever you are and switch anytime if needed. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/Lewis. That's BetterHLP.com/Lewis. Went through as a kid and started the process of healing through following your work of acknowledging it, speaking the truth, Truth into existence, you know, not having.

Sex stuck in my head. Even just saying out loud, I've been sexually abused. I said that in the New York Times, you know what I mean? Most recently. And I had so much shame about that article coming out. I was like, oh my God. But it was, Freedom though. But then after being so, rather than just saying, oh, I have childhood trauma, I have been sexually abused. Like saying that releases the shame.

Right. It's scary.

If anyone's listening, don't say it until you're ready to say it, because if you're still holding all that shame, people will feel that shame in your experience. Yeah, and I had a great, you.

Know, kind of group therapy experience where I talked about it in a safe environment. Then I talked about it with family, then friends, then I started, it was a process.

It's a process, it's a process. It's a process in a journey. The thing I was saying earlier was like, okay, when we're feeling like we wanna feel better, we have to decide to stop feeling bad. And so I was using the postpartum part of an example because here I was suicidal, totally insomniac, right? Like I was just- Distressed, worried, annihilated. And there was no tool that was working. None of my books would have made it been relevant to me in that moment.

Medication was the way.

The only way. The only way. There's definitely a time and a place. There was the only way. If I hadn't taken the medication, I would not be sitting with you right now. Anyway, the point is that I had to decide to feel better. And so every single day when I would wake up, once I knew I had a diagnosis and once I was on a healing path, I was every single day, it took me months to get to a stable baseline, months. But I was still struggling. But every single day I would say, okay, maybe I slept one more hour today or I'm gonna celebrate that I work for myself and I don't have to go into an office having not slept last night. And just leaning into these, small minor things that I could celebrate that were my choice to not feel bad. And as I leaned in, leaned in, leaned in, leaned in, it became more of my reality. And that's what I write about in the book. There's a whole method in the book called the choose again method. Choose again.

Choose again.

Choose again what? When you notice that you're in that story and that drama of your negativity, fear, or judgment attack that's making you feel bad, notice it. Notice the thought right away. And then you say, how is this thought making me feel? That's step one. Notice the thought and how is it making me feel? And the second step is to forgive yourself for having the thought. Not beating yourself up. Why am I- I used to do.

This all my life. Why am I having this? I'm such an idiot. Why am I so stupid? Why can't I figure this out? What is wrong with me? That was my pattern for years. I know.

I know. So how do we get out of that? Forgive yourself for having the thought. Forgive the thought. If you can't forgive yourself for having thoughts, that just feels too heavy for you. Just forgive the thought. Like, okay, that's that's that thought again. That's from my childhood trauma. That's from my, you know, my fear of this. That's from whatever. There it is again. And then the third step is to start to proactively choose again. And this is where we begin to reach for the next best feeling thought. We reach for, this is a very.

Influenced by Abraham Hicks, which is written.

You know, mentioned 23 times in that book.

What was it called?

Like the Purge of Appreciation or something. They do the rampage of appreciation.

Rampage of appreciation. Yeah.

So when you were to choose again in that third step, you're gonna reach for a thought that you believe in.

What if you don't believe in any good thoughts?

You have a thought that could be better. And here's what it could be. It could be, I can turn on Lewis Howes' podcast right now and that might make me feel better. That's a thought. Or I have that book that I could open a page to and maybe it will give me inspiration. Or just something as simple as like, I'm gonna go for a walk for five minutes. That might make me feel better. So, and then you keep going, you keep reaching for it. So you reach for the thought, I'm gonna go for a walk. I'm gonna let myself feel better. And then you go, you know, you go for that walk. And I'm gonna just listen to some music. That music might make me feel better. Or the next thought could be, I actually have dinner tonight with my friends, so that will be great. And I can bring myself to that. And I've been doing this the whole week. I've been on big book tour with my child, with my family, and just little moments of of chaos occur, right?

I love lots of moments.

Lots of moments of chaos. No, actually, no, I'm not attracting too much chaos. I'm chill, man. I am a super attractor. I am doing great. Yes, I am great. But little things like my credit card got stolen and I'm on the phone with the credit card company and I'm trying to get out of the hotel with my son and I have a nanny with me. So like my nanny's like, oh, the baby pooped, you know? And I'm on the phone with the credit card company and there's no Uber in Santa Fe and the baby's pooped and you're just like, you know, these moments. And so I start going into the, I'm out of control, but I'm freaking out. And so I notice it really quickly now. I witnessed the thought, I forgive myself for acting out and being rude to the woman at the credit card company. And then I choose again. Okay, let's change the poopy diaper. Let's get in the car. Let's have fun with this mom. Yes, I could have carried that negative thing all the way down to Santa Fe and having lunch, but I decided to turn it around quickly.

And that's how we can start to live like that. You talk about attracting making it fun, making the chaos fun. Like, okay, everything's in breakdown and my life is crazy.

Let's have fun with this.

Yes, yes, yes. And by being fun, by being joy, by being the feeling of good, you're.

Gonna attract more good, more joy, more fun.

100%. But by focusing on chaos, stress, I'm out of control, I'm anxious, it's not working the way I want it to.

It'S gonna continue to not work the way you want it to. We attract what we are. Yeah. Yeah.

Not what we think we need or want.

We'll attract more stress if we're a stress constant. 100%.

Now, I'm curious, you had written the book before you had your child, your son, right?

I wrote the book while I was pregnant.

While you were pregnant. And it was complete and then you knew that you had this book tour coming out and yet you had thoughts of suicide and you had thoughts of anxiety and stress and overwhelm.

God's timing is great. Because, no, but God's timing is great because when I was going through that dark moment, I had enough runway to get back on my feet. before my book launch and everything.

It wasn't like two weeks ago, this all happened.

No, and had it been, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

Right.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't have been able to do it. I had a runway. I was in a good place.

So here's the funny thing, interesting, you talked about the stigma around medicine and about antidepressants and these different things that people use. And Carson Daly, he came out on the interview with Jay Shetty on today's show, I guess a few days ago, said, I'm on antidepressants or I was on them for years and I felt the shame around them. but they really saved my life.

That's right.

They gave me stability. They helped me have focus.

That's right.

I grew up with a father that didn't believe in medicine because he believed in spiritual healing and the power of the mind and healing ourself with our own thoughts. And my grandfather, his dad, would always say, Yes, I believe in that, but I believe in common sense and take medicine when you need to.

God works through medication. God works through doctors. I think that we have to see them The medication is like a special agent as of course, Miracle said. It's a tool. It's a tool. It's even a perceptual shift, right? The day that I picked up, I was brought up homeopathic. So I had never fulfilled a prescription.

Before I went to go get that prescription. What was that like?

Did you feel shame getting it or did you just feel grateful? No, I was so grateful for something that would give me relief. I ran there. I ran there. And that night, I went to the, I remember I went to Dwayne Reed with my husband. He went with me. I was like, How do I even get that? They're like, Give us the prescription, we will give you the medication. I was like, Is it covered by my insurance? They're like, Yes, you pay for insurance, you're good. So it was like this crazy moment and then I hadn't even taken the pill yet 'cause I would have to take it the next morning. And I was at dinner with my husband, all of a sudden I was like this happy, amazing person because I was just so grateful that there was something that was going to help me. Wow. Right? And I don't think anyone, when they're in dark suffering and a life threatening situation, would in any way deny the support? Of course.

I think we should all learn as a society and to not shame people if they're on some type of medication. I think it's when they're- that's part of the stigma.

I was out there being telling people that would come to me in my talks.

You don't need this.

I wouldn't say you don't need this. I never ever would say that. I would say, go to your, get your therapeutic support. But I would say, but meditate, meditate, meditate. And I didn't understand that when you're having a real mental health where you are so, so, so out there to the point of suicide, that meditation won't work. It will work once you get back into a place of stability. It will work in the sense that if you pray, you'll be guided. But when you're in that chaos, there is no stillness. And so it's letting God work through the medication.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A lot of these things- and I.

Think that this happened to me so that I would be of this spiritual voice for this. Yes.

Are you still on the medication or.

Is it a-- yeah, I'm gonna try to get off of it in a few months. I'd like to get pregnant again. I'm on a medication that's good for breastfeeding and pregnancy or like okay for breastfeeding and pregnancy, but I'm gonna get off it in a few months. And yeah, it's not something I need.

To be on for the rest of.

My life, but it was something that saved my life when I needed it. That's powerful. Yeah. That's powerful. And for anyone that's on it for their entire life, God bless you. If you feel good and you're getting the support you need to be free and do deeper work. But the thing I will say is, if you do take meds, to make sure you do that deeper work, don't just take a pill and feel like I'm done. Take advantage of that baseline so that you can go and go deeper in your therapy.

Now go meditate, now do your therapies, now do healthy living.

Go look at what was causing the anxiety and the trauma in the first place. Get to it.

And I think it's also good to take inventory, like if I'm on the medication, am I, up all night playing video games? Am I eating horrible food?

Is that contributing? How am I contributing? Yeah, it's like we live in a culture where people just take a pill.

And that's the problem. That's the problem.

And not to over-medicate either. And over-medicate and medicate unnecessarily.

And yeah, that's the problem. It's a major problem. I'm not going to deny that. You talk about in this book, everything you're saying here, it's like, yeah, that's so simple to think about, but it's not easy to apply. It's easier than you think. It's so simple for people once they read it, it's like, wow, yeah, it's very simple. But I'm just looking at chapter nine, and I was reading through this, and you say, appreciate and appreciate more. And this is something I feel like people have a hard time doing, is showing appreciation and then over appreciating even the bad stuff that happens in their life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about it.

You know what I mean?

Listen, I now have deep appreciation for that dark hole I was in six months ago, because it's given me an opportunity to sit here with you today and hopefully save some lives. If there's a mother out there that's watching and she's having suicidal thoughts or she's having panic attacks or she's having insomnia that she can now go and talk to her OBGYN or her psychiatrist. I am deeply grateful for everything I've been through through my addiction recovery, for my trauma healing, through physical things that I've talked about publicly, because they've given me a greater level of compassion for the human condition. and a greater, much greater opportunity to speak and teach from a place of authenticity. So that's my appreciation for what has been. And I think if we start to look at the difficult times in our lives and appreciate them and also recognize them as a learning device, saying, okay, thank you alcoholism, or thank you, you know, fear, or thank you, drama in my life right now, because you're revealing to me what I still need to heal.

So what is the thing we usually need to heal when there's chaos in our life or there's triggers in our life? What is that thing?

We're all traumatized. Everybody. Everyone that's walking through this world, every human being, they may not have had to have trauma like we've had, but they're walking through life feeling unsafe.

They may not have had sexual abuse or a father that abandoned them or even an adoption.

They may have told them they were stupid or maybe they, you know, they like got lost one day in the parking lot when they were a kid and didn't find their mom. It doesn't, these subtle moments are, as A Course in Miracles says, the moments that we detour into fear. They call it the descent from magnitude into littleness. And we then create this form of ego, which is a separate mind, separate from God, separate from love, separate from that freedom. And it builds up a pretense around us. I mean, I've been living in it right now, watching a 10 month old child, so free of ego, so free of fear. And I'm so conscious of every moment and so conscious of not, you know, being on my phone when I'm with him because I don't wanna create, look, I'm gonna create those moments. He's gonna have, he's a human having a human experience, but I wanna hold him in the preciousness of this God-like state as long as possible, right? But that's not how people's parents are. Right. That's not how we grew up, right? We all grew up in this world where there's just, so each moment is an opportunity to detour into fear, and then we create a world of fear-based perception. And so what we must do to live and thrive and feel good is undo those fear-based perceptions. And I believe through a spiritual path or through maybe a therapeutic path. I think spirit's in all of it, whether you realize it or not. But to make a commitment to feel better means that you're committed to returning to God. Or love, or, you know, spirit. The universe. Whatever you call it. Yes.

You also talk about how we have guides. And it's funny because my girlfriend, who's amazing, and she'll always tell me, she's like, you know, your angels are always, yeah, she's a spiritual being, right?

She's like, I can see it.

I have, there's angels that are always supporting me whenever I'm in trouble. I'm, like, focused on my angels. I'm like, where are these angels? Like, how do we know they're here? What were these guides? Like, how can we tap into this belief that there are, whether it's our ancestors, spiritual beings, whatever it may be, are, are here with us, are guiding us.

So far, we're talking about this, our.

School of greatness, protecting us, are leading us into a path of love.

Yeah. So what I write about in my book is what I believe, and I always have a big disclaimer that says this is an opportunity to crack you open to believing something new, and, and if it's not for you, you choose how you choose to perceive this. So not only do I talk about spirit guides and angels and deceased family members, but I also talk about your higher self. So if this is too woo-woo for you, start to tap into what is the voice of my higher self.

Gotcha.

Right, that voice of my inner guidance system and that wisdom that I believe in is my true nature, right? I personally, Gabby Bernstein, I believe that we all have guides ancestors, family members, teachers, beings of light beings, energy beings that are supporting us in a form that is able to step in, able to channel through us when we write books, able to be there in those darkest moments, pick us up off the floor, and hold us in discomfort and guide us to business opportunities or babies or whatever it is that we're looking for. It's always available to us, that guidance, but we just We cut it off, we block it.

Why do we block the guidance?

Fear is the reason we block it. Fear of what? It's not even fear. It's that false based perception that we've built up around ourselves from those traumatic events, right? So we have these traumatic events early in life and they continue to build and build and build. We build up a world of false perceptions. I am this body. I am Gabby Bernstein.

I am Lewis Howes. I've got the School of Greatness.

People are out there saying, I can't trust people. We create these Right.

Beliefs.

And you believe you're separate from others, you believe you're better than or less than or not good enough. And all those stories, all those false pretenses are what many spiritual practices called the ego, right? And that fear based perception of yourself is misaligned with God, with love, with spirit, with angels, with guides. And so this book is all about how to get back into alignment so that you can hear that guidance and receive that guidance and be a Channel for inspiration. And when you clear and undo those patterns of fear and start to claim the pattern of love, that's when you are hooked up, super attractor.

Unstoppable.

Unstoppable. Invisible doors open for you. It doesn't matter how low you are when you're starting this, you will go way further than you could possibly have imagined. And I am standing behind that subtitle, Methods for Manifesting A life beyond your wildest dreams. Standing behind it.

I love that. What's the difference between spiritual guides or guys and intuition?

You could call it the same thing. Your guides are your bridge from your fear-based thoughts back to your love, right? So if you pray and say, God, guide higher self, angels, whatever. I give this to you. Figure it out, right? I don't know, I'm gonna get through this time, but I give it to you. That's how we surrender. People are like, I don't know how to surrender. I don't wanna let it go. I don't know how to through prayer. Okay, prayer is the conduit. And then when we say that prayer or that intention, whatever you wanna call it, and we allow ourselves to give it over to higher power of our own understanding, a guide, God, spirit, grandma, whoever, then we're taking that difficult experience, we're handing it over, and then we relax. Yeah. Because we think, okay, it's not on my shoulders anymore.

It's like taking our ego out of ourself and putting it over here and.

Saying, Keeping it over, help me undo this. And then their job is to pay attention what's gonna show up for us.

And so pay attention.

How do we pay attention? Just be aware, stay calm and stay chill, right? And be conscious of how things start to speed up or the synchronicities that begin to happen around you. Or if you are like, you know, guides, I wanna see a sign and you're like, I need butterflies and butterflies are everywhere. I'm getting thousands and thousands of emails from readers that are reading this book in the last two weeks, it's been out. And they're just like, Gabby, every single sign I've asked for is coming to me. And like, it just speeds up. Ask for a sign today. If you're having a difficult experience, say guides, what would your sign be?

Don't think, just say it.

Just say it, don't think. Oh, the sign is like a pumpkin or anything. An eagle. Eagle is your sign. That's a good one. It's strong. See how everybody, how he answered that. It's got to be the first thing that comes to your mind. And now, if there's an issue that's happening in your life, just say to yourself silently today at this end of this podcast, just say, thank you, guides, thank you, universe, whatever you believe in, right? For showing me my eagle to remind.

Me that I'm on the right path. So ask for the sign, the eagle. Thank you for revealing my eagle.

Thank you for revealing it before I see the eagle. Yeah, thank you for revealing my eagle.

To remind me that I am being guided. Okay. Okay. And the eagle will mean whatever I give the meaning to, whether it's to.

Make a decision on something. If it's just being guided in general or if it's being guided towards that job or that healing or that whatever, right? Sometimes I'll use a sign like, am I supposed to take this deal and I don't know what to do? And I'm feeling so uncomfortable about it. And I'll say, show me a sign and I'll get this. And the thing is, if you don't get your sign, that's a sign too. But you absolutely will get your sign. If you're asking to be shown that you're being guided, 100% you're gonna get your sign. Louis is gonna text me later, everybody. It's on the eagle. My eagle! He sent me a photo of some massive eagle. So give me an example for people. It could be an eagle in a.

Photo or an eagle in a napkin. Not some eagle sitting on my window.

Which would be amazing.

Could be that too. So let's give an practical example for someone. Say someone says, there's a female listening or a male listening and saying, okay, is this, should I go on a date with this person?

A second date with this person, right?

Just something small. Show me my sign. Show me my sign. And what if you don't see, and the sign is to reveal that you're supposed to go on this date or.

To give you some information. And if you don't get the sign, if you don't get the sign, then, and you decide to go on the date anyway, it's okay. There's still some learning in that. Yeah. There might be an opportunity. There's been times where I've done things where I didn't get my sign, and.

They didn't work out necessarily, but I still learned something from the experience. Has there ever been a time where.

You didn't see a sign and it did work out?

Maybe you saw the sign later or something.

It worked out in a different way, right? So if I was like, I need a sign about this situation and I didn't get the sign, oh, here's an example from the book. So I was my two weeks before I was meant to conceive. My doctor, who was a very conservative, Yale-trained physician in my little tiny country town, was like, you,'re turning, well, I just turned 39. I was 38 when I was pregnant and I just turned 39. So he considered me 40. Okay. I was like, dude, I was 38 a week ago and now I'm 40. So he makes me 40. And he's like, we believe that you need to deliver 40 to 40, 40 weeks when you're 40 years old. And I was resisting and resisting and I was like, I'm not 40 and I don't want to be induced and I don't want to force the baby out. I don't want to have that kind of thing. So I was so torn up because he was so nervous and that was infiltrating my fears. So I was in his office and I was like, okay, universe, I can't make the decision. I need a sign. and so I said, show me a sign if following this path is the right move. And he walked in the door and he was wearing this necktie. And I said, Howie, what's on your tie? And he said, it's a cardinal. And I said, okay, in my head, I'm like, that's my sign. It's a cardinal. And so the next day, I had to make a decision if I wanted to get booked. So I didn't have an opportunity to see my cardinal before I made that quote, that decision, because I had to book him. in the schedule and he was leaving the next week.

It was a mess.

So I made the decision without seeing the sign. I said, okay, to be induced, to schedule an induction. Wow. It's not what I wanted. And so I made that decision. I was in my bath, I texted my girlfriend, I said, okay, I'm gonna be induced. This is happening. And she writes back to me, that's a great decision. I feel really good about it. And I know it's good for you because I saw a cardinal land on.

My window just now. Cardinal, did you tell her the sign?

She had no idea about the sign.

Wow.

But here's the thing. So I got my cardinal.

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Gave me the guidance that was on the right path. I was meant to be induced on a Wednesday. On a Monday, I'm lying in my bed. And I'm finishing the finishing touches of the book, 'cause I wanted to deliver the book before I delivered the baby. So I stand up to go to the bathroom, and my water breaks. No way. And then here I am, and I have the most epic Beyonce birth. Like, there was nobody at the hospital. I had like rolling hills out my window, and like, I was the only one birthing in the maternity ward. Oh my gosh. And I had, you know, the sun setting. So the whole point is, is that my sign was saying, yeah, you're on the right track. Make the decision so that I could relax. Because if I hadn't made that decision, I wouldn't have relaxed, my water wouldn't have broke because I would have been too freaked out and tense and everything worked out. Wow. Do you see what I'm saying here? Yeah, for sure. So if you don't see your sign.

That'S still guidance and then, you know, if you get your sign, even if it's something you didn't want, you know? What has been the biggest lesson of motherhood that you were unexpectedly, because you have lots of friends who are mothers. Yeah, I had no idea what it was like. There's so many fans of yours who are moms that you speak to all the time and maybe you thought you knew what they were going through, you could speak into some of their challenges, but what have you really learned? Maybe three biggest lessons so far about motherhood and what moms experience in the first year of motherhood.

So in terms of what moms experience and what happens, and I think my son has taught me, has given me the greatest gift of healing I could ever have imagined. Because as soon as I became pregnant, what happens for women is all your shit comes up, and for men too. You know, when you're about to bring life into the world and be responsible for that life, your darkest demons start to come to the surface. And so many people just push it down, push it down, push it down. And so I don't push things down. I was like, let's go. Okay, I'm ready. I'm willing. Let's go for this. And so I worked on it along the way and then the postpartum, and that gave me even a greater step of healing. So his presence in my life has already put me on a massive healing path. I've had fast forward healing in the last year and a half. So that I'm grateful. My son has taught me that.

I.

Am going to make my highest priority in life to honor his feelings. People keep asking me, what's your parenting advice? I'm like, Look, I've been doing this for 10 months, but I can tell you this. Honor their feelings. Imagine that was something that we experienced. I mean, you'd be a different person. I'd be a different person. And if we could honor any human's feelings, any human being, particularly a child. And then I guess the third thing that I've learned as a mother, there's so much, but is that they have their own guides. They have their own, they're not, oh, this is big. He is not my son, Oliver Rocklin. He is not, you know, the son to Zach, the son to Gabby. He is his own Spirit having a human experience. Wow. And he is a person. He's not a baby.

Wow.

Yeah.

And you're just here to guide him.

I am in a archetypal position to be a guide and a love and a support for him. But I find myself often being like, my baby's so cute. My baby, my baby. And then I have to stop myself and say, Oliver, not my baby. He's not my baby. He's him.

Wow.

Powerful.

That's crazy. So you want to have another child?

I want another child.

Why? After everything that's put you through in the last year?

I want my son to have a buddy. We live in a tiny little country town. We go to the city like once every two weeks or something, but we live mostly in the country. And so I want him to have a friend that's close by. I don't want him to be lonely. I don't feel I'm done. I don't feel like I'm done. Yeah. And so I will be a 40.

Year old mom and you know, 40 year birthing. I have a friend that just had a child.

She was 44, I think. I think it's the new norm at big time. I think that all my friends are.

In their 40s having children.

Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's crazy.

I'm turning 40. What the hell?

Next month? 11-1, yeah.

It's next month. Two weeks, three weeks.

It's amazing. I have not fully taken that in yet. I'm 36. And I already feel like I'm like, man, I'm almost 40.

Like, what's happening? Don't go there.

36 is extremely young. What has happened in my life? I'm like, I was just in college.

22, feeling like I had the world on my hands.

36 is a baby. Then I had 20s. Then I'm in my 30s. Good things have happened, bad things have happened.

I was like, I'm about to be 40 before I know it. This year has flown by. Here's the thing that I know you and I both can say about getting older is that it gets better.

It does get better.

When you're on a personal growth path.

It does.

When you're on a spiritual path, it gets better.

If you're on a fixed path, a fixed mindset, then I feel like you're gonna be more and more stressed and angry at the world. But when you're on a growth mindset.

It'S gonna get better for sure. Better and better. I feel more at peace. I feel sexier. I feel freer. I feel, I like, look better than.

I did when I was 30.

Let's go.

You know? 'Cause you've been doing the spiritual work. 100%. I think I found out about you in 2008. I don't know if you remember this. I connected with you on LinkedIn.

I don't remember because I probably didn't even notice that you connected with me.

Did that go right back to you? But I remember, I think we had chatted a few times, but you were.

Also in a different place.

We were both in different places. 2008, big time.

You were. You had just written-- Adoring to youo.

Life was my first book. Adoring to youo Life. Yeah. And I remember I looked at, I just looked at the book cover of that recently versus this book cover, right? It's two different people. You're like a different human being. This was like riding off the PR, Like energy, the publicity, like trying to make it in New York City, the oh my God. Carrie Bradshaw energy, like that was the thing you were putting off. And I can't remember, I think we had a couple of email interactions, but it was very, it was more of like a how can we get, how.

Can I get something done with you? It's that one.

You know what I mean?

100%.

But now it's like this different feminine glow.

Thank you.

You know what I mean? Thank you.

I've not that you weren't feminine then, but it was like this energy. I'm gonna make that happen. And you know what? It was good and it served me 'cause I've published seven books in eight years and they've saved lives and so thank you for whatever journey I was on at the time. But now I am on a feminine, relaxed, super-attracker, do less, attract more, sit back with Lewis Howes and have a good life.

So what advice would you have to women in their late 20s, mid 20s who feel like, I've gotta work hard. I'm not making the money I want. I'm not in the career I want.

Yeah. So there's a chapter in this book for that woman. And the chapter is called There's More Than Enough to Go Around.

Oh yes, chapter three.

There's more than enough to go around. And this is a whole chapter on comparison and all the ways that we block the opportunity to do less and attract more because we're trying so hard. And I speak directly to that reader that is the pusher that's trying to make things happen that is in fear. And I talk about comparison and jealousy and judgment and self-judgment and all of it.

Because the Judgment Detox was so big.

For so many people.

Yeah, it's my most important book. It's huge.

I mean, they're all the most important books for different reasons. Judgment Detox is my most important book, and it's the one that most people never finished. Why? It's too much work for them. It's too hard. It's like you have to face your wounds. You're crap. You have to see your part, forgive. But the people that do apply it, I see them on the book line and they say, Judgment Detox is my favorite book.

And I'm like, I can see it in you.

Because there's a freedom I can see in them.

Who are we judging more, ourselves, other people, or God? I think we judge ourselves the most.

I really do. Because even when we're judging other people, we're actually judging ourselves. Ooh, because we're just a reflection.

We're reflecting our judgment of ourselves on someone else.

That's correct, that's correct, that's right.

So when we reflect our judgment on someone else, we don't like something, we're angry at them, we're pissed off at them, whatever it is, How can we shift that to see the good in them? Read Judgment Detox.

Okay. Because I'm sitting, sometimes I'm just like, yeah, I wrote a book about it. Yeah, exactly. And I get it. But I'll answer your question fully right now, which is like, when we are in judgment of somebody else, what's happening is that we're projecting onto them our own wounds. And so the second step of Judgment Detox is to, well, the first step is to heal your wounds.

Is to honor your wounds. Yeah, yeah, of course. It's so hard to not judge other people, isn't it? It gets a lot easier when you practice it.

It's helped me so much and do I not judge all the time? Of course I still judge, but when I judge, I don't believe in it and I get out of it quickly.

So what do you say when you're judging someone else?

I witness my judgment without judgment, step one. I honor the wound. Okay, oh, I'm judging them because I'm feeling insecure, I'm judging them because they're triggering something, right? And then Then I continue on the journey of the Judgment Detox, which just releasing and forgiving and seeing someone for the first time, choosing to see them through the lens of love. It's a fabulous book.

See them through a lens of love.

Yeah.

Get that book too. What is, do you think, is your greatest accomplishment in 40 years of life?

My greatest accomplishment in 39 years, two weeks away from 40, Don't age me. I can't believe I'm 40. Oh my God. So my greatest accomplishment is the freedom I'm feeling right now, today, here with you, is my greatest accomplishment. My recovering from trauma is my greatest accomplishment. It will be the best contribution I can give to the world. I am going to help people because even just being in this state of freedom will help people watching because they will see what they are capable of. Yeah, yeah.

That's powerful. And do you feel like You'll be able to make a bigger impact in the world by being a mother or...

Already, yeah. So I've noticed myself in my talks, I would always have a really good boundary, which you have to have as you know when we do the work we do. Because if I'm gonna get up and answer questions, people, my audience is like, you know, coming up being like, I have a brain injury or I'm suicidal or, you know, and I have to hold them in their transformation but not take it on. But as a mother now, I don't feel that I'm taking it on, but I have a way deeper level of compassion for people that I never had before.

'Cause you're experiencing all of that.

I'm seeing their innocent child in them. I don't see them as an adult who hasn't taken care of themselves or as an adult who's done stupid things. I see them as a wounded child, and all I wanna do is just hold them into love. And that's, maybe even in one of my talks, this one woman was so wounded, and I actually went as far as asking her to come up so I could just I just hug her and that is so against everything I've ever done in my career. Why? I would never like touch someone or have it, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't hug somebody like casually, but I held her like an I'm a hug, you know what I mean? I was like, this is, and I kept holding her and I said, you,'re safe, you're safe, you're safe, and I didn't know what came over me. The other thing that's happening is I'm becoming more unapologetic about my mediumship. So we're all mediums, we all have the ability to listen to spirit and let, but I can, you know, I've throughout my life have always heard messages You know, now I'm just like giving messages to people. And I always have channeled throughout my talking, but now where normally I would say, okay, this is the guidance. If I'm hearing it as a guide, I'll say, what I'm hearing for you is this.

And I'll deliver it in a different way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people can receive it, not if.

They don't believe in some type of medium stuff, they can receive it. Sometimes I'll just tell them, like, I.

Think, you know, your grandmother is telling me something. Tim's telling you this, yeah. Sometimes, not always. I will. I've never had a, someone who calls himself a medium that does this practice on the show. I've been pitched, like, different mediums that come on, and I've always been kind of resistant, but lately, I'm like, you know what? I think it'd be a fun experience. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You should have someone. Is there someone that you think is, like, the best? There's so many. I mean, yeah, let's talk offline, because I can sit here and tell you five, six different names, and I don't want to offend anybody out there. I know a lot of mediums.

I don't want that one. Why don't you say me on Louis house? So I'll give you some suggestions. Yeah. They're All good though. It'll be fun.

Yeah.

What do you think is missing from you to get to the next level in your life, whatever that looks like for you? What's missing?

There's a little bit more trauma work that I've gotta face. It's not missing though. It's not like it's in perfect time.

Around what? What's the trauma around?

Just a lot of the sexual trauma, the shame around the sexual trauma.

Yeah, 'cause you talked about it on our show a couple years ago, I think a couple years ago. And I know you've been doing a lot of work over the last few years with it, but do you feel like you're fully, you're not fully healed with those things yet? I don't think I am either.

Even though I talk about it for the last six years. You're more healed than ever before, but.

Every- I'm at peace a lot about it, but there's still little triggers.

Yeah, EMDR.

Yeah, so I keep hearing that. I really recommend it to you. Okay, I'll try that.

Yeah. Where do you think you'll be once you have that final healing? Freedom is my- end game, right? I hope to live for a long, long time feeling free. I did talk with Deepak Chopra yesterday, and I was on the plane with him coming here. And we were chatting about, you know, I was like, do you feel triggered or triggered? You know, he's like, not at all. With nothing. All the time. And it's because of his practice. It's because of his Devotion to his practice. I'm getting closer and closer to that. It doesn't mean I'll be enlightened. It doesn't mean I'll have bad experience. I won't have bad experiences. I mean, I won't be a human. but that I can feel free, even when things are tough.

What do you think it is that he has, or people like him have, that allow them to have zero connection to, or not allow the ego to affect them in a triggering way, in a reactive, defensive way, guarded, when maybe something bad happens to him. Maybe a disaster.

He's the person who grew up being taught that the divine is the direction. That, you know, God was the, I don't know how to use language that's not his, but he had a very spiritual upbringing. So it was a foundational, experience for him and he's devoted his life to being at ease. And meditate, he's up very early, meditates for two hours, I think, in the morning. And, you know, I think it's his devotion and commitment that's let him be that way.

Isn't it amazing that when I am consistent with my meditation practice, I feel like I'm unstoppable. Like the longer I meditate, I feel like I see, it's like the matrix, you'll see someone saying something to you, see someone cut you off.

You become a super attractive person. This is what the whole book is about, baby. It's that the more we practice being in alignment, the more that unstoppable experience occurs. But when we are just living out of alignment, we feel out of alignment. That's right. So things don't work. That's it. We're pushing.

What do you think is missing, from your point of view, as a friend to me, what's missing in my life to help me attract more of good things that I want in life?

I think there's a little more trauma work to do. I can feel it, and you said it a few times.

Yeah.

And so, I'm gonna hold your hand while I say this, 'cause I love you so much and I will help you if you need any guidance and support just to be, listen and be there for you, because you have the potential for that same freedom that I'm talking about now. We all do, but particularly you're right there, but there's some shame and there's places to go to that I think you're ready to go now.

Yeah.

And that it hasn't been, there's been no step along the way that's been an accident. It's all been perfect order for you and it's all been unfolding Perfectly and, you know, humbling moments and difficult times and things that come up only to get you to the place where you're ready to crack open more and face some of the dark, the darkest stuff. And you need to do that with a, so I'm hearing that you need to do that with a facilitator that you trust, someone that you feel safe with, and someone that will really give you that hold that space for you to go to the places that scare you.

Mm. Sounds good. I'm in.

Because you're doing really big in the world, big stuff, big work, and it's gonna be massive the more free you become. Yeah.

I'm excited. I'm excited to continue to work.

And I'm really proud of you because the fact that you even asked that question is so major because it means you're willing.

Yeah, definitely.

I'm so proud. I love you so much.

Thank you. I love you. Yeah, and you said the first step is willingness. And what? You said willingness is the key for something before one of our interviews.

Willingness is the catalyst for change because the moment that we become willing, we invite the next right action. We invite God into our life to show us where to go and what to do. The willingness that you've developed over your life over the last 36 years got you into this seat right now with me while we're talking about things that we've both been through for you to say what's next and for me to honestly and authentically say, this is what I think is next. Yeah, okay.

Okay, so I trust you.

I trust you.

That's your willingness. Super Attractor. Make sure you guys get this book right now, Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond youd Wildest dreams. Before we wrap up, I want to acknowledge you, Gabby, for constantly showing up. You do an amazing job of showing up for people. You show up for yourself and your dreams. It's because you're always giving to other people and you really want to be a life of service. I think that's what you talked about is like, the more you're willing to serve, the more good things come to you.

And now more than ever. Yeah. Now I'm much more about how can I serve than how can I get. more than ever.

And they used to be like, how can I gain? Probably 10 years ago, 15 years ago.

What can I gain? It was like that. Service is what's driven my successes. I mean, I've always been in alignment with wanting to serve people because I've had a deep level of compassion for people. But I think that it's gotten just.

Greater and greater, and being a mother has made it greater. Well, I acknowledge you for that too, because I didn't know you were going through all this stuff that you were going through. So I acknowledge you for being a mom, and showing that you can work on the projects that you love to help people and to get help when you need it. Because I think a lot of moms feel shamed that something's wrong with them. Why can't I just, I have this child that I wanted my whole life or for how many years? Why am I feeling this way? Why what's wrong with me? I should just appreciate what this incredible being.

I'm going to say something that's going to open a floodgate, but it's okay. Any woman out there that's watching that identifies in any way, any mom or new mom, or even if you're a child that's two years old because you can have postpartum for a long time that identifies any of the things that I have just said, email support@gabbybernstein.com and I will personally write back to you, even if it takes me a month to get back to you. Okay, I want you to know you're not alone. Or DM me on Instagram, the email might get to me faster. Or tag me in something, I just want to know where you're at and.

I want you to know you're not alone.

Wherever you are on every camera.

That's powerful. Yeah, I think I saw this with my sister. She went through some challenges when she had both of her kids where she was just like, you know, going through stuff. She was in challenges. She had a lot of help. And I think she was beating herself up a lot from what's wrong with me? Feelings. Why am I.

No one talks about it. That's why. Good news. Gabby, the voice box, is out there in the world just on every Show. I mean, good morning, America. Today's show, yesterday on Access Hollywood, talking about it. I am everywhere, everywhere I can be, every podcast talking about postpartum because I.

Want to save moms that it's a real thing. Very few moms probably have this peaceful.

Journey after having a child where they're like, it's every mom has some kind of chaos, but, but it's, there's a difference between being anxious and, like, overwhelmed.

And over tired and having a biochemical issue. Yeah. There you go. Well, make sure you guys get the book, Super Attractor. Follow you on social media. Share this with a friend who you think might enjoy this. Gabby, I love you.

Amazing. Love you. Thank you. It's always my favorite interview. Everybody knows that.

It's my favorite.

I'm sorry. The rest of all the other interviews, it's my favorite.

Thank you. Appreciate it. This was such a powerful episode for me, and if you if you enjoyed this episode, please do me a favor and subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts. Leave us a review and share specific details about what you enjoyed about this episode, the power it gave you, the insights, the specific strategy you got from this. Leave a review over on Apple Podcasts. Type in your response. I don't care if you leave a one star or five star review. I just want to hear from you to how this helped you and how this is going to help you in your life. And if you're a mother who's experienced postpartum depression, or if you've ever experienced suicidal thoughts, know that you are not alone. Know there are people that want to support you, that there's help available for you. Please know that you're not alone. And if you have a friend who is going through a challenging time in their life right now, or who has struggled on and off with depression or thoughts of suicide or postpartum depression, please send them this link, lewishouse.com/865 Again, lewishouse.com/865 or just copy and paste the link on the Apple podcast that you're listening to, Spotify or anywhere you're listening to this podcast. And be a champion and a hero in someone's life by sending them a text with this link and asking them to listen and share their thoughts on what they got out of this. Post this in a WhatsApp group, Facebook chat group, Instagram, over social media, and get the message out to a friend and be a champion in someone's life today. You matter so much to me. I'm so grateful that you're here, that you take the time to consciously and actively seek the wisdom. I'm constantly trying to do the work myself. I'm constantly diving in. finding the experts, finding the world's best to help myself overcome challenges, to help myself get through the adversity at every stage of my life. I am not perfect. You guys hear me talk about this all the time and I'm always looking to improve and be better. And we're all in this together. If it can be more compassionate, more empathetic, less judgmental, less combative with each other, and truly work on our own self-love so we can have more to give to others. That's what this is all about. A big thank you to you for guys for being here for supporting this and as the inspirational Fred Rogers, the man who taught so many of us as kids growing up, the man who helped us understand our feelings, our emotions, our thoughts, and who helped us feel like we had a home when we didn't feel at home. He said, anything that's human is mentionable and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. I hope you know you're not alone. I hope you know you have a community here, a part of this School of Greatness Community you can reach out to. people in the comments on my page or in groups on Facebook that we have or at our annual events. You can be a part of a community here. We're here for you. We love you. We see you. We hear you. And we believe in you. I love you very much. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.

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