Find Your Purpose & Create Your Dream Life (Celebrating Women’s History Month) [MASTERCLASS] EP 1412

Okay, so if you haven't heard the news yet, I've got a new book out called the Greatness Mindset. Unlock the power of your mind and live your best life today. It's coming out soon and I'm pumped to invite you to be a part of the launch team for this book. This is a rare opportunity to get your questions answered and network with other champions of greatness in this exclusive community of conscious achievers. If you're ready to receive early access to the first few chapters of the book, behind the scenes updates from me, plus VIP access to bonus and giveaways, then this is for you. For instructions about how to join this Greatness launch team, make sure to go to Lewishouse.com launchteam right now. Again, make sure to check it out@lewishouse.com launchteam right now.

The breath that you just took right now, that's a blessing. But you know what? You're too busy complaining. I'm talking about self acceptance. You know, accept yourself the way you are. It's never easy. I think the biggest obstacle is welcome.

To the school of Greatness Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur, and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. The Kia Sportage Turbo Hybrid has a bold design, a spacious interior with 232 horsepower and a 12.3-inch panoramic display. And to keep the adventure going and fit with the way you live. And with Sirius xm, every drive comes alive, bringing you closer to the music, the sports talk and podcasts that you love, right in your vehicle or on the Sirius XM app. Every SiriusXM equipped Kia Sportage Turbo Hybrid includes a three month trial, so the experience begins the moment you drive. Learn more@kia.com sportage-hybrid Kia Movement that inspires this message is brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything, like a slice of pizza from your local pizza place or a latte from the corner coffee shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch terms and more@applecard.com the School of Greatness is sponsored by Capital One. Nowadays, most people subscribe to everything. Music, tv, even dog food. And it rocks until you have to manage it all, which is where Capital One comes in. Capital One credit card holders can easily track, block or cancel reoccurring charges right from the Capital One mobile app at no additional cost. With one sign in, you can manage all your subscriptions all in one place. Learn more@Capital1.com Subscriptions Terms and Conditions apply. Over the last decade, I've been able to interview some of the most brilliant women across all industries who've inspired me on my journey to greatness. And I know I have done the same for you. And I wanted to bring together multiple stories as we celebrate Women's History Month that have really resonated with me over the years. Can you talk about the importance and what you did to just overcome fear after fear and what that did for you, that exercise of overcoming them?

So I'll tell you something. I'm talking about self acceptance. You know, accept yourself the way you are. It's never easy. I think the biggest obstacle is a long list of fears. All sorts of fears. Known, unknown. My biggest fears were three. They were my major fears. So I wrote them down and I said, you know what? I'm going to overcome these fears one at a time. My biggest fear was facing people, you know, and when I used to. Now when I say this to the world that, you know, I was scared of facing people, people think I'm being funny. But no, and it's not the fact that I did not want to see people or I just hated people. That's why I didn't want to see them. You know, I was tired of, you know, those remarks like, oh, poor girl, you know, I was tired of being treated as a patient. Oh, how do you feel? I feel the same. Ask me more about what I'm doing in life right now, you know, and this, this mercy in their eyes, that, oh, poor girl, that, that really, you know, that was killing me from within. And I said, you know what? I'm going to overcome this fear facing people. And, you know, maybe one day they will understand that I'm okay, I'm okay the way I am now. I have accepted myself. So please, you need to accept me too, you know, and as they say that when you think about doing something, the universe conspires. While I was thinking constantly about how can I overcome this fear of facing people, how can I do this? I was going to the malls, I was doing groceries, but that wasn't enough. Out of the blue, I got a call from TEDx and, you know, so the guy said that, you know, we really Want you to come and share your story. And without missing a second, I said, I'm doing it. So that's how I gave my very first TED Talk. And in fact, while I was giving the talk, you know, I was sharing my life story with the world. You know, there I was, sitting in front of so many people and sharing my story, thinking, what am I doing? You know, I'm literally becoming an open book, and everybody can come and say things to me because, you know, here I am.

They can judge you. Yeah. They can do whatever.

Yeah, of course. Right. But then I realized that maybe, you know, someone somewhere in the audience needs my words, so I'll do it for that one person. And then later, that girl came from the audience. And in that moment, I realized that, you know, probably being speaker is my true calling in life. Maybe, you know, then the other biggest fear was the fear of not becoming a mother. And I was constantly thinking about it, that, you know, how. How can I work? And then I sat down with my mother one day, and I said, mama, I want to adopt a child. And, you know, but I was scared being a wheelchair user. I said, you know, maybe, you know, it will be hard. And my mother said, I'm with you. We'll raise him together. You know? And so I said, can we do this? She said, yes, let's do it. And that's how. So I applied for adoption. I waited for two years, you know, and then one fine day, out of nowhere, I got a call. The lady said, there is a baby boy, and would you like to adopt? I said, is that even a question? Of course, yes. So that's how Niall came in my life. And then the other biggest fear was abandonment. As we were talking earlier, what happens when people leave? Trust me, nothing happens. We are so scared of abandonment that, again, when you let go of all the extra people, you realize that you never needed them. You just never needed them, you know, so have a good relationship with yourself, and you will never be scared of abandonment. So when I overcame this fear of facing people, I became a speaker or whatever things I'm doing. When I overcame the fear of motherhood, I became a mother, you know, so that's what it is.

Why do you think so many people are afraid to be alone? This is kind of like this fear. I don't want to die alone. I can't go day by day without having friends around me all the time. I can't be alone. I can't go to dinner by myself. I can't go to the movie by myself. I can't walk down the street alone. Why is there this insecurity or fear that so many people have?

Because we forget that we came in the world with nothing and we live with nothing. We came alone, crying. And when we were born, we were in pain, right? And we were crying. That was the sign of life. Oh, the baby is alive because the baby is crying and the baby is in pain. And when we leave, we are alone. So many people have left. Life does not stop.

Right.

We are designed because we are social animals. Right? We human beings are social animals. We need to socialize. The problem comes problem is not with the relationship. The problem is the expectations that we have with our partners. That my spouse has to make me feel good. Yeah, it doesn't work that way.

It doesn't.

Your spouse is a human being too. Fighting battles you are doing too. Again, if you two are not complementing each other, your life will become miserable. And also, there's one thing that I've noticed. People are competing. I mean, two people in a relationship are not complementing each other. They're competing with one another. This is so silly.

Yes.

I mean, you are supposed to complement each other, you know, but you guys are competing with each other. And no wonder why so many people are so broken. So broken. Either they switch to the new relationships like that because, oh, my God, what will happen if we are all by ourselves? Trust me, nothing happens. You know, this global pandemic has taught us a lesson, you know, and that is by the end of the day, we are all on our own. So if you want to heal from COVID you have to live with yourself. And you know why people were so scared of being on their own? Because they have never spent time with themselves.

I know.

For so long, Right. And they were just so scared. But let me tell you something. Being a wheelchair user, I have spent so much time on my own, and it did not kill me. So when you sit with yourself, you realize, oh, I'm actually a good company for myself, and that's it. So you go, you meet people, you socialize because it's fun, but not because you need to do it, but because you want to do it. That's what it is.

And I think there's this, you know, it's this thing where we shouldn't be abandoning ourselves. We don't need to be at an event or be in relationships with people if they are constantly toxic, like you said, or if they're making us wrong or bad, if they're not accepting us. That's really a form of self hatred. If we keep putting ourselves in those situations and we abandon the love for ourselves, the boundaries we need to create to have the environment of peace and love and joy. So I think it's important for us to remember that, like, we don't have to keep showing up in situations where people are trying to hurt us. We can protect ourselves and not abandon ourselves.

Yes. Like Maya Angelou says, when people show you their true colors, believe them.

Yeah, absolutely.

Do not justify their toxicity. Oh, you know, my spouse is being overprotective. You know what, because she's so much in love. No, that's toxic. That's bad. And it's only going to get worse, you know, so be aware when people show you their true colors, believe them.

Yes. Why do you think for people who might feel stuck in their life, might feel some type of brokenness, whether it be emotional, emotionally or physically. And they say, I don't know how to go after my dreams. What advice would you give to people who are struggling to figure out what their dreams are and also how to go after them?

First and foremost, we have this constant pressure of overachievement thanks to social media.

Why?

Because everybody's posting about something great. You know, I achieved this, I achieved that. Oh, my God. Globaltrotter. Wait, I cannot afford to buy a ticket. I cannot go anywhere. What am I supposed to do? Right. When you see people posting, rather bragging about what they have done in their lives every day, projects after projects, you question yourself. Am I doing enough? Am I good enough? Is my life meaningful enough? Right. But let me tell you something. Social media is all about the good stuff. Nobody is going to post about their daily struggles. When I try to sit every day in the morning because my back muscles don't work, I fall back. Then I try to get up, I fall back. And it happens, it continues. So basically, I start my day as a failure because I just cannot sit on my own without the help of my mother. But my social media doesn't show that. It's all about inspirational things. Right. So please, you don't have to be an overachiever every day.

Yeah.

Sometimes just waking up in the morning and not giving up on yourself is a huge achievement.

Absolutely.

You know, and I do it every day. You do it every day. We all do that. So appreciate it and be kind to yourself.

Yeah.

And you were talking about people dreaming. I always say one thing, that dreams don't work unless you do. You know, there is no such thing as overnight achievement. No. If it comes easy, it goes easy. I can sit in the corner of the room and daydream all day long, but nobody's going to come and serve success on plate, right? So I have to be optimistic, but I have to be realistic, too. I need to work to get my dreams, and that's it. And what I have learned so far, Louis, is the attitude of gratitude works wonders. Just be grateful because you are way, way better than many. You know, it is so powerful that gratitude has the power to turn what you have into enough. You know, gratitude will never let. It will never turn your pain into suffering. It will never, you know. And so be grateful for all the things that you have, for the things that you don't have or you have lost. Just be grateful.

There's a. For many years of my life, I would get frustrated when things would happen, right? I remember having a dream of being a professional football player, and I got injured. I broke my wrist and had a surgery and had to recover for about a year and a half, which kept me from playing and living my dream and playing sports anymore. And then I went through multiple breakups. I had to learn the lesson the hard way. Many times in relationships, you know, just lots of things happened where I was like, why is this happening? Why, why is this breakdown happening? Why am I in pain? Why did this happen when I was a child, all these different things. And then I finally learned a strategy where people always say, you know, when you look back, you can connect the dots. Hindsight is 20 20. They say, right? You can look back and you can see why that needed to happen. Then when bad, bad things started to happen, I said, you know what? I'm going to look forward. I'm going to have future hindsight. I'm going to say, you know what? This needed to happen because it's helping me become a new person. It's helping me let go of toxic relationships. It's helping me get on a different path that will serve more people in my life and bring me more joy. When you had this accident, did you think about yourself in the future or when did you realize. I should say, when did you start to realize that, oh, this is happening for me because it's going to benefit more people, it's going to bring me closer to my mission, or it's going to help me bring myself more joy. When did that happen for you?

It's rightly said nothing is happening to us. It's happening for us. It's all about perception, right? It's all about your perspective. You know, I cannot relate to that. 21 year old who used to walk around. I don't even remember, Louis, how it feels, you know, to stand on your legs.

Wow.

I just don't feel it. And if you can feel it, you're very lucky. You know, health is such a big blessing. And when I say that health is a blessing does not make me unlucky because I'm not healthy that way. But all I know is that when I say rebirth, it was a completely new me. It was a totally different person. And, yes, there are lessons, there are mistakes. And I always say that even wrong people in your life, they become lessons. Bad times become lessons. Your mistakes become great lessons. And you learn, you grow, you improve, and that's what Life Journey is all about.

Yeah. I've got a couple final questions for you. This has been inspiring, and I can't wait to meet you in person one day. I have a couple final questions for you, but I want everyone listening and watching to follow you. You've got an amazing YouTube channel. I love your stuff on Instagram, your website munibamazari.com and also your name on social media everywhere. But one thing I want to do is figure out, how can people see your art and purchase your art? Where can we go to learn more about this? Because I've. I've seen some of it online. I think it's really inspiring. And I want to send people to your artwork because I think it's beautiful what you create.

Thank you.

Well, you can just drop an email. I don't know. This question came out of nowhere. So I was like, okay, is there.

Artwork on your website where people can purchase or where can we find it?

Yes, my artwork is on my website. So what you can do is, if you have some queries, you can just send an email, ask munivamazarimail.com and my team will get back to you.

Okay, cool. And can we. Is there stuff for sale online right now if we wanted to purchase it, or do you just do custom work? How does it work?

A lot of work is still available. Yes.

Okay. Perfect.

Yes.

Okay. I want to send people to your artwork. I want you to. I want people to have more of your art in their homes or in their offices around the world.

So thank you, Louis. Thank you. Appreciate it.

Of course. It's really beautiful stuff. This is a question I ask everyone at the end of my interviews. So I would like you to imagine a hypothetical scenario that you get to live as long as you want to live and accomplish and achieve and serve in the way you want to serve to the world and you get to live your life the way you want, right? But one day you have to go to the next place. You have to leave this earth.

And.

For whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you, this interview, your videos, your content. It has to go to the next place. So we don't have access to your information and this message anymore. It's hypothetical. But you get to leave behind to the world three lessons that you've learned from your entire life experience. And these three lessons is all we would have to remember your content by. I call it the three truths Question. What would be again, without you preparing for this, what would be those three truths or three lessons you would share if that's all you could share?

Well, I would want the world to know what real success is. Everybody wants to become successful. My definition of success is different. Success is not about how well people know you. Success is how well you know yourself.

Ooh, right.

So just know yourself. If you know yourself, you are successful. And secondly, be grateful. I wish I could say it a thousand times, but gratitude works wonders when you are too busy complaining about what you don't have. Think about a child who is suffering from thalassemia, was waiting for one bottle of blood and dreaming to have a life that you have. But you know what? You're too busy complaining. The breath that you just took right now, that's a blessing. Be grateful we are sitting here having a conversation. So many people have left the world, we are still here. Be grateful.

How important you know, I'm a big believer in visualization and obviously in the Secret. That's something that was talked about. I haven't watched Secret in 10 years when it came out. But I mean this is something I practice as an athlete to visualize my results before the game. Would happen to see myself scoring the touchdown in the track meet. And I'm sure you did a lot of similar things. How important is visualization in abundance, but then also how important is taking action?

Right?

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Quince.com Lewis so I have five visualization exercises in that book. Just because it's so important. Visualization is gift to your heart and your soul. It's a gift because if the. The idea is the seed. Visualization is the, is the. It's the fertilizer. It's the fertilizer because when your thoughts are connected with an emotion, see, you would visualize yourself winning and you would feel all the emotion that came with that. And all you're doing now is you're not chasing a foreign emotion. You know the feeling, and now you're just doing what's necessary to get back to that feeling in real time. Exactly. And so what, what A good friend of mine, Vishen, who of the CEO of Mindvalley, who, you know, I would. I did a visualization with him. We were in Bali. And he said to me afterwards, I never get emotional.

He doesn't.

He doesn't get emotional.

He's like, super. Yeah, well, he was like, I cried. I got emotional. He goes, I figured it out. It's visualization. A good visualization brings in emotion. He was like, that's how you do it. And so I love doing visualizations because. And it's really important in the visualization. You can't see it over there. You have to see it right here. You got to feel it right here. Like, I am. It's all I am. I am. I am in my dream home. I am in my dream relationship. And then unpack what that looks like, but most importantly, unpack what it feels like. And when you have that, that emotion in this moment, all of a sudden you stir up something that I don't think will ever go back to sleep. It'll go, okay, let's go get that. And what it really does is it sets up a state of cognitive dissonance. And cognitive dissonance is when you see something in your mind and you see yourself in a way that your behaviors are not currently leading to. And so your mind becomes disrupted and it goes, okay, can we get there?

Right? Because I'm not there right now.

Not there right now. And that's not comfortable. Your mind wants to literally be congruent. What it thinks is what you're doing, what it thinks is what you're doing. And so when you set up a constant and abundant thinkers like you and I, we do it Unconsciously, we. We're constantly keeping ourselves in a state of cognitive dissonance. Meaning, okay, what else? And I'm seeing Lisa over there, and I'm going, okay, let me go while. While being grateful for my now. Yeah, it's not in that. I'm going to be whole and complete when I get over there. I'm holding complete now. I just know I'm supposed to be over there. So let me do what's necessary to get over there, and let me. Let me evict any behaviors or characteristics that are stopping me and let me adopt any new ones that I need.

Right, right. How does someone discover their unique calling? Because you talk about that in the book discovering your new calling. What if people are like, I don't even know what I want. I know I want to be out of the place I'm in. I want to be abundant, wealthy, healthy, great relationships. But I don't know what my purpose or calling is right now.

I think that people put too big of a notion on purpose in that they think that it has to look like a Nelson Mandela or a Mother Teresa or Oprah or. You are I. And. And a lot of times what you're really good at is right in front of you. What you're really great at is right in front of you. And to recognize that your calling and your purpose can change.

Right.

That it can change. You have a long lifetime. It's not going to be the same calling the whole time. And so allow yourself to evolve. Allow your purpose to evolve. What's that thing you do effortlessly that you give no credit to because you're. You're just looking past. Oh, it can't be that. Because it's not hard. Well, how about it doesn't have to be difficult. How about the fact that you're a great listener? How can you take that and use that and expand that and. And don't compare yourself to someone else. Comparison. I think Benjamin Franklin said, comparison is the thief of all joy. It's all. When you look left or right. You know, people are always comparing me to Oprah Winfrey or Yanna Von Zahn or Les Brown or Tony Robbins. I said, listen, I will if you want me to give you Oprah or Iyanla or Tony or Les, I'm always going to 1000% fail you. But if you're ever interested, I do a good Lisa Nichols. And so when you look at what are my gifts? What are my unique gifts? I knew very early on I was a gifted speaker. I wasn't certified as A gifted speaker. I haven't passed any courses as a speaker. Matter of fact, the last time I took a speech class, I got a D minus. And my speech teacher told me, Ms. Nichols, I recommend you never speak in public, that you get a desk job. That was in my freshman year of college, the last speech class I took. So a lot of times your gift and your purpose, you've discounted it, either because someone else discounted it, or what's more common is you don't know how to monetize it.

Yes.

And sometimes the greatest gift you have to give is not for fee, it's for free. You watch people like you and I and go, well, why can't I get paid for it? Well, not every gift you're supposed to get paid for. Nelson Mandela did not get paid for leading 27 years. When he got out of prison, he got paid after that. But he was a great leader while he was in prison. And Martin Luther King, he was a. He. He got paid from the church, but his rights, his fight for civil rights, that was a free one, and he paid the highest cost. And you can go on and on and on to the. Some of the greatest leaders. Mahatma Gandhi, it wasn't a paycheck.

Right.

And so. And I'm not. And. And I know we're scaled down to our version, but don't get attached to having to get paid for your gift.

Right. Yeah. I started this podcast as a way of, I'm going to do this for free for a year. I'm not going to take any sponsors. I'm not going to do anything, not going to sell anything. I'm just going to create and facilitate great conversations and that's it. And now the money is coming in because of how it's impacted people's lives.

And your intention was in the right place.

Yeah, but it wasn't like, how can I do this right now to make money? It was, how can I serve the maximum number of people?

That right there, that when people live in a place of servant leadership, My grandmother said when I was 24, if you leave and how you. How can you serve the most people? When I sit with my team, I go, how can we serve more people? How can we. Last year, we were able to touch 30 million people. And that's all our question now. As we serve, our platform gets brought up, but how can we serve? Don't tell me how we can make more money. I'm not interested in that. I mentioned how can we serve more? Because if I do the right thing, for the right reasons. Everything I need will be a byproduct of that.

Exactly.

So I think we get caught up in, you know, society allows us to have us, has us looking at possessions and so we begin to measure our joy and our abundance on possessions. Have a friend who's worth. He's worth $14 billion. How do you even write that? I had to write it down so I could see it.

Maybe zeros.

Is that right? Right. A lot. He's worth $14 billion. I checked my email on my phone before we started and he's on my phone asking me please come visit me because he's lonely. He's rich, but he's not abundant. Yeah, he flew from Canada to, to come to my house for New Year's just to be around people who were celebrating and wanted nothing from them. And so don't pursue the things, pursue the acts of service and everything you need will come. I promise you.

Yeah, that's powerful. Let's talk about the four E's. What is this principle, the four E's that you talk about in your book?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so that I like to break up my life in quadrants and I help my students. I do a lot of coaching. I do personal development and personal professional development coaching. And no matter where you come, where you come to me, whether you come to me for personal development or whether you are want to turn your passion into profit in this professional development and business development for entrepreneurs, we go over the four E's because abundance is holistic. It's a holistic experience. So the first is enrichment of self that you are only going to go as far as you think you're worthy. I can push, you can push, you can have the greatest product. But if you don't feel worthy, you will work hard to sabotage that relationship.

You don't know your dad, right?

You don't know doing. You think these are the things I need and you're driving that guy away. You're driving that woman away because your self worth says they weren't going to stay forever anyway. Or self worth around money. You have a cap that you feel like you're worthy of a million dollars. You will always get to 999,000 and you will stop because your self worth says it. So enrichment is number one.

What's a good exercise or process that we can follow on a daily basis? Maybe something simple to enhance our enrichment.

Absolutely.

Worthiness?

Absolutely. I did this for six months, every single day, right after I brushed my teeth. And it's the ICU Exercise and you get in the mirror. Now, it is not necessarily simple because. Because you're dealing with yourself, of course, and as complicated as you are, will.

Be the mechanics of it.

The mechanics are very simple. Yes, I appreciate that distinction. You get in the mirror and you complete the three different sentences. You want to write this down. The first sentence, you look at yourself and you say your name. So you say Louis and you complete this is I'm proud that you. And find seven different things every day to celebrate yourself for. Seven different. Each day you can do the same thing you did the day before, but each day do seven different things to be proud of. The second sentence is going to knock you down a little bit. It's going to come from your gut. Lewis, I forgive you for and cut the shackles. To blame, shame, guilt, regret and anger. In that sentence, you cut those five shackles not the first day, maybe not the third day, but by the 21st day, by the 13th day, you'll feel some relief. So, Louis, I forgive you for and go back five years, 15 years, 20 years, do that. Forgive you for that thing don't nobody know about. But you go ahead and cut those shackles because if you can still think about it, it's still in your energy space.

Yeah.

And then the third sentence is, Louis, I commit to you that before you make a commitment to anybody else throughout your day, you make seven commitments to you. So the first sentence is, I'm proud that you. You're celebrating yourself first. We are under celebrated as a, as a society. We look for acknowledgement. They enter. They interviewed a hundred executives that all made over a quarter of a million dollars and said, would you like a 5% raise next year or would you rather be told thank you more often? 100%. 100% said, keep your money. I'd rather hear thank you. So we're under celebrated. But first celebrate you be the example. When I was on Oprah, when she said, what do you do? I said, I recognize that I'm the example of how the rest of the world is supposed to treat me. And it's my job to give the world the best example of how I like to be treated. So celebrate yourself, forgive yourself, cut the shackles, and then commit to yourself before you commit to anyone else. That right there powerful, that right there will begin to fill your cup up to get to your sausage.

I love that. Where did you start to learn that process? Was that something you just started to practice yourself and started looking in the mirror and trying different things?

And you, boy, you asked the question. I was in a relationship, engaged to be married, and it became abusive. I was emotionally abused. And then he picked me up and threw me three feet across the room and choked me until I passed out. I don't tell a lot of people that. And I was suffering with post traumatic stress disorder. And my mother asked me to go to the doctor, strongly recommended I go to the doc, drug me to the doctor. And after the assessment of me in Manhattan beach, my doctor said that I was clinically depressed. And I said, how did I get here? Me that don't even fit with my name. I was head cheerleader at my high school. I was the captain of the track team. I'm always the person to get people going. It didn't fit. How did I get here? I don't know if you've ever found yourself saying, how did I get here? I was sitting on the table in the doctor's office saying, how did I get here? And when she wrote me the prescription, she handed me the prescription, and I read the prescription, and it said, lisa Nichols, Prozac. It was like I was looking at a foreign statement, my name in Prozac. And I asked her, I said, can I try something for 30 days? Because I realized I was just sad. I lost me. I had lost me in him. I had lost me in being a mother. I lost me in being the mother of a son whose father was in prison. And trying to hide that shame and then trying to make this man happy and then beginning to fend for my life. I lost me. So I needed to discover me. I needed to remind myself who I was. And so I just realized I. I didn't celebrate me. I was beating myself up. I was really mad at me, and I was showing up for everyone else. So I just made up these sentences, and I did it to rescue myself, to turn my crawl into a walk. And I ultimately was able to turn my crawl into a walk and my walk into a run. My run into a sore. But it started as a crawl. So I don't offer the how I got to that exercise often, unless someone asks.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Thanks for sharing.

Yeah.

And opening up.

I've long since learned four things. To me, this is the road to true freedom. I have nothing to prove, I have nothing to protect, I have nothing to hide, and I have nothing to defend that your perception of me after I tell my truth is actually none of my business. My perception of me that I go to bed as whole and complete as I woke up before I check how many likes I have on Facebook that I like me first, and every other like is bonus.

There you go.

That was a long road to get to.

Long road, sure.

Long road, yeah.

We probably have to constantly be reminded of it, you know, and then when I get in that place and then when I.

When I live, like, I'm forgetting, you have to have accountability partners stashed in the corners of your life, and you have to give them an assignment on your high day. You have to give them an assignment on your high day. If I look like I'm slipping, well.

My ego's in the way.

Get in my face. Get in my face. Right. Get in my face and remind me of the man, of the woman I see. Said, I want it to be. Don't let me off the hook for the 2020 version of me.

Because we're humans. It's going to happen. As long as we're breathing, we're going to be out of integrity at some point.

Come on. Your humanity's going to get in the way. Your ego or ladies, your shego is going to get hooked.

Exactly.

Absolutely.

Your resentment, your smallness.

Just smallness. It all fits in smallness. I'm. I'm human, and so I. I'm. The best thing I did was to keep people around me, to hold me accountable to the woman I see. Said I want to become.

Sure. That's great. I love that. That's why I have a lot of people from the Midwest who. Who work with me on my team, support me, keep me grounded.

Right, right, right, right, right.

Like, don't get too Hollywood.

Exactly.

Don't get caught up in the lights and the cameras and the daggone headset.

Exactly. Exactly.

Absolutely.

Okay. Enrichment. That's the first part. The second part is enchantment.

Relationships are going to define the quality of your life. When you're on your bed on your last days, you're going to want to know who's going to be around you. Bottom line. You're not gonna care about another podcast. You're not gonna care about another sponsor. I'm not gonna care about another book or the freaking New York Times. Best. It matters to us now. But the relationships in your life are going to determine the quality of your life. And so mind your relationships. And so in the book Abundance Now, I teach you how to. How to heal broken relationships that matter to you. How to get back level set. I give you this great. This great tool called It's a. It's a. It's a. A conversation to heal a broken experience. So it's called a communication charter. I use it in my company, I use it at my house. And so just is about how do I keep great relationships. And then the third area is engagement, work engagement. You're going to spend so much time in work and we're so emotionally attached to our work and most of the time people are attached in such a dismal way that why would you have that dismal energy around something you're going to spend much so, so many hours in? So I teach you how to shift your energy towards your work so that you no longer look at it as your work. Now it's no longer your J O B. Like everyone in my community, all everyone in my tribe, they no longer say they have a job. They say I have an investor. And when you look at your job as your investor and you really rename it as your investor.

Yeah.

And it's investing in your breathtaking future. It has the capacity to buy anything you want for your future if you mind your money. Right, right, right. It can buy your freedom. And all of a sudden you start treating your investor better and you're more excited about going. Matter of fact, you're great fun, you're grateful for your feel like work, man. My investor was LA Unified School District. That was a hard place to be when it was a job, I'm just telling you. But as an investor for three and a half years, I wrote myself a check and I put in the memo line funding my dream. I didn't even know what the dream was. I wasn't even clear. I just knew whatever my dream was, it was going to cost some money and I needed to pay and I need to have some money to pay. And that if I was going to ask other people to invest in me, I had to be my first investor. Who am I to ask someone to put money my way when I didn't put money my way?

Right.

So I want to, I wanted someone for them to match, just match my investment in me. I got 10 in. Can you put 10 in? I got 20. And can you put 20 in? And so when you look at your job, your work engagement as an investor into your breathtaking life, all of a sudden there's a different energy around it. And then the last one is money endowment. And to recognize more than the Dr. Seuss family and the Disney family and the McDonald's family and the Lawrence Welk family has a right to an endowment. When you get the understanding and I really unpack it here, where you kind of go, what like I. I'll make you do a couple of Scooby Doo looks in the book. Like, roll when you look and go, I can do an endowment like, I like, because we think it's for them. Remember, I started this conversation with. Abundance is for those people over there, especially when it comes to an endowment or living legacy, like in your book. And be creating a legacy to recognize that. Wait a minute. There's a Lewis endowment and a Lisa endowment and a Don and John and Tanya endowment, and fill in the blank here. Endowment. And I need to live my life to set up my endowment. All of a sudden, you become responsible for generations to come, responsible for changing the trajectory of your family's life. That's some bold stuff. When in your lifetime, you do a needlepoint move for your family. In my lifetime, I was able to do a needlepoint move for my son. Like, he's a Nichols child. He's one of many Nichols men, but that's a Nichols man who now knows what it feels like to cook in Italy and in Tuscany and in Florence and in Venice and in Rome. That's a. That's a Nichols child who knows what it feels like to go surfing on the Gold coast of Australia. That's a Nichols child, understands what it feels like to stand on the tallest mountain in Africa. Like, his life. I asked him this morning, I said, jelani, can you. When you get married and have children, can you stay in California so mommy can really see her grandchildren? He goes, well, mom, that's kind of restrictive. It's restrictive to stay in big California because he knows the world.

Yeah, his.

His paradigm shift has occurred. He won't ever live like another, and he'll take everything he's learned and expand the Nichols male child experience. So in. In my generation, in my lifetime, I was able to change our family experience for him. And so I believe that we have a right to look at our legacy.

You think you could have been as successful on your own or without the team?

You need a team.

You absolutely need a team. And so it goes with everything that you're doing, whether it's in business or sports or whatever. You know, you can't do everything by yourself, so surround yourself by people that will help you. And, you know, my coaches were amazing. I had the best ski technician in the world, Heinz. He literally was just as invested in my success as I was. I mean, if I. When I won, he would cry, you know, that's beautiful. It was great. And, you know.

Did you cry, too?

I cried because he was crying.

It was like a thing.

I'm like, heinz, why are you crying? You're making me cry. And you know, he would, he was so nervous when I crashed. And, you know, like, it just feels really good to know that someone's that invested in what you're doing and they're putting just as much effort into what they're doing to make you succeed as you are. Yeah, it's like me working in the gym. You know, he's in the ski room tuning my skis for hours on end. And a lot of people don't know that about ski racing. It's your equipment is a, is a huge part of your success.

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Didn'T have him, if I didn't have my coaches, I didn't have my physical therapist, Lindsey Winninger, who helped me get back from all my injuries. You know, if I didn't have, like, all those people, I couldn't do what I did.

Team is everything. What's the greatest lesson your coach taught you?

It was my coach from Minnesota, the 96 year old. He said, I think it was like 10 or 11. He said, I'm fast the way I am, so don't change it. A lot of people at that time in my career try to change my technique. And even my dad was like, you know, this isn't, she's not gonna succeed if she stays like this. And he's like, no, this is her natural talent. Stay with what you, what you, what you have. Don't try to be someone else. You know, you're fast the way you are. And so I kind of, you know, morphed that into life as well. You know, it's like you are who you are and that's what makes you special. So stick with it.

That's a good lesson, right? Beautiful lesson. And how do you deal now? And how did you deal with negative thoughts? Did they fester for a while? Did you have a technique that allowed you to get out of it, into more positivity? What did you do?

I mean, I think journaling helped, you know, honest. Like, skiing was the best outlet for me.

It's therapy, huh?

Yeah.

And which was why it was so hard to retire, you know, which is why then, you know, Covid sitting there with your thoughts, not ideal, but ended up being great. Yeah, I mean, I think social media was at times really difficult.

Really?

Because other people would say negative things about me and that would kind of creep in. And I wouldn't necessarily always believe it, but it's still kind of. It's like there, it's like a little mosquito. And it's like people actually think that about me, you know, and it kind of adds a little bit of doubt in there. And it's not always the easiest to get rid of those Negative thoughts. But I try to focus on again, like what makes me happy, why am I doing this? I'm not doing it for other people, I'm doing it for myself. Yeah, and you know everyone's going to judge you. Everyone's going to. There's always going to be people that say bad things about you. But you know, when the lights are off and you go to bed, you know, it's just you and are you happy with yourself? And I think that's the ultimate question. If you can be happy with that, then you're good.

Who cares when anyone else thinks Amen to that. There's a great speech by Matthew McConaughey where he talks about his hero is 10 years away from him. He's always chasing his hero. When he won the Oscar, I think it was he said, I'm always chasing my hero who's ten years away from me. We talked about your ten year old self. You've had a couple years of transition. Now I'm curious, in 10 years from now, where do you see yourself being and what advice do you wish your 10 year old, your 10 year away self would give you right now?

I have no idea what I'll be in 10 years. Like I don't know where we'll be in 10 days. I know it's crazy and I really like not knowing it. You know, I used to really try to. I'm a planner and I like organizing and like knowing what's gonna happen and like planning as far out as I can.

You're always scheduled, you gotta vet, you got training.

Yeah, yeah, it's always a schedule. And I kind of really like not having as, like, you know, as tight of a schedule as I used to have. And so I don't know, I have no idea. I mean, hopefully I'll have kids and you know, 10 years is a long time. You know, I'm 36 and that's, you know, I don't know. But I know that I have a lot more to do and that's really exciting. I think the same is, you know, when you ask me what would I tell my 10 year old or 16 year old self, I wouldn't say anything because I have to have those experiences and I'm excited for them. You know, good or bad, I think, you know, it's just a part of the journey and so far it's been great.

So I feel like just keep it.

One day at a time, keep it one day at a time, keep it simple.

And when do you feel the most loved? When you're doing what?

Hang out with my dogs. Yeah, they love me no matter what. That's the best feeling ever.

Isn't it incredible?

So I have three. I'm the crazy dog lady.

Oh, my God. It's not crazy. Well, I have one cat, so I'm the crazy cat dude.

That's where I draw the line, because.

I travel so much. I travel so much.

And cut.

She's a good cat. She just relax. She's like a little dog. She, like, lays next to me. She just, like, purrs on me.

I think I'm scarred for my mom.

Cats.

They're crazy cats. No, you need a chill cat. You need a cat that's, like a dog that, like, plays fetch.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, it's not. Yeah, so my dogs are the best. Like, nothing. Like, well, you know, having a Ben and Jerry's. My three dogs, watching Law and Order pizza idea.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. That's when I feel the best.

What is something about yourself that you're most proud of that most people don't know about?

Um, I don't know.

I feel like everyone knows everything about me sometimes way too much that I'm most proud of.

I don't know.

I'm most proud of my family. Just like, you know, I think I'm really lucky to have siblings that are, you know, as great as they are. And, you know, I'm really proud of, you know, where everyone's. How far everyone's gone, and I guess that has something to do with me. But at the same time, I don't know, I feel like we're all unit, so I'm proud of them.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

What about your biggest fear right now?

I mean, I had a lot more of them a couple months ago, but I feel like.

What were they a couple months ago?

Well, you know, I hadn't really processed, like, you know, retirement. So I guess now I'm. I don't know. I'm just kind of happy not knowing what's gonna happen, you know, where. I was a little bit nervous, you know, it was gonna happen before. Like, you know, where's my career going? You know, what. What's life. What's gonna. You know, just because, you know, as much as I have things planned, nothing's really planned.

Right.

Right. So I don't know.

And your fears now?

I don't know. I kind of.

It's.

I guess it's similar to skiing. Like, I don't really. I try not to think about any. Like, I don't. I never had fear when I was skiing. And I think I'm finally in a place where I am, like, very present in the moment. Not thinking about, you know, what could go wrong. I'm just thinking about what opportunities are there.

That's beautiful. And what is the question you wish more people would ask you, but they don't ask you?

How are you doing?

How are you doing?

Yeah, I'm great, thank you.

How are you?

People don't ask you that enough.

Like, in a general way, like, yeah, you know, it's like, how are you feeling? Like, I don't know people. It's like, there's greetings. We're like, hey, what's up? You know, how's it going? But it's like, actually, how are you feeling? Like, are you happy? You know what I mean? Like, I have a few people that say that, and those are my friends.

Not many people ask you how you're feeling. No, again, next time I'm at an event and you're by yourself, I know what to do. I know what to ask you. I'm coming up to you. I'm gonna ask you how you're feeling.

I'm pretty simple.

Yeah.

Yeah. Those are. I think those are really important things.

Who is the person in your family that has taught you the biggest lesson? I'm sure they've all taught you something, but what's the lesson that.

I mean, everyone's taught me something, I.

Think.

You know, my grandfather and my dad taught me, you know, about toughness and, you know, what it really means to sacrifice and work hard. And I think those are incredible traits that not a lot of people have. And I have a really good understanding of what it means to sacrifice because they had such a great example for me. But, I mean, I think my sister Karen really kind of has been. She's just helped me be like a person.

And that's also a human being.

Yeah, like, that's been great.

Not the athlete and not the competitor or the personality.

Right. And that's the one thing I love about my family, which, you know, is why I talk about them so much, is because they're. I'm always me, you know, so they always, you know, doesn't matter what I do. I'm always, you know, gonna be me. And they always treat me like that.

What is this self talk you do internally? If you don't have a mirror, if you're not alone in a bathroom, what's your process that you say to yourself, what are the reminders? What are the mantras, meditations that you think about before that.

It always helps me to voice it. Whenever I'm insecure. I either I'll write about it somewhere or I'll speak to somebody who I trust. My mom, my husband, my best friend. But I find it easier to talk about it. So that's why I have a healthier relationship with my insecurities, Because I take away their power by discussing them. I choose not to live with them alone in the dark recesses of my mind, because then they become monsters, and then they become really, really large. And they're usually not real. So it's always been very helpful to me whenever I'm feeling crazy or insecure or afraid or even if I feel like I've made a mistake. My dad told me this when I was very young, when I was 16. The first time he sat me down and he gave me a glass of champagne, and I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, you're 16. You know, you can have a glass of champagne with me. You're going to do it anyway. And he told me, he was like, whatever happens in your life, you should feel free to be able to do it with your parents. There is nothing to hide from us. I'll always be in your corner. And, you know, he told me that about feelings. I always had the freedom to talk to my mom or my dad as a kid about anything I was feeling, at least to my father. I wouldn't discuss the boyfriends. But with my mom, she was like my best friend. She knew about every object of attraction that I ever had. And I think that that sort of gives you the sense of confidence to be able to talk about it. And I just think it's a great first step to get rid of insecurities.

I'm just a big believer. I love everything you're saying, and I'm just a big believer that if people really listen to this and understand, take it in what you're sharing, that it's hard to achieve anything without confidence. You could have the greatest experience, you could have the greatest degree, the skills. You could have the family. You could have the money. Like, you could have good looks, whatever it is, you could have this stuff. But if you don't know how to build confidence when it matters, it doesn't matter if the world believes in you. If we don't believe in ourselves, nothing's going to happen.

And the reverse world won't believe in you if you don't believe in you. And I think, like, as someone in the public profession, you know, my job is to Be entertaining and be confident in every step that I take and in every move that I make. But I think recognizing that confidence is not something we are born with. It's a skill. It's like, you know, it's a muscle almost. If you think of it like going to the gym and you know, to have muscles and to be in shape, you gotta work at it. Just like the vocal cords. People, the greatest musicians in the world, they use, you know, their, their vocal cords, they do riyas, like we call it in Hindi, but which is warm ups and stuff like that. So confidence to me is like that. You start using that at a very small level. Everyday life, you know, when you're in school. There were times when I was in school where I used to take the other hallway because I didn't want to bump into someone else. When I started high school, by the time I was in 11th grade, I was walking in the middle of the hallway.

You stood around, you get people moving away.

Yeah, I was like, excuse me, I didn't even have to say that I was just walking because. And that's the same person. But I think that in any profession or any aspect of life, confidence is perception, is reality. Most people believe that. Right. You know, that how people perceive you is what they think reality is. So give them something perceivable.

Amen to that. What would you say are three things on a daily basis that you do to build confidence that you think anyone could apply for their life even if they feel like they have no confidence?

When I wake up in the morning, I take time in the bathroom. Like I shower. I will, you know, pick the outfit that I'm feeling today. I will, you know, sort of doing my makeup and my hair sort of helps me or my skincare routine. Actually, night helps me be sort of introspective. Otherwise through the day I'm very erratic. I have, you know, multiple balls in the air. Professionally, I'm doing a lot of things. I'm always behind on time. I'm always playing catch up. So at the end of the night and in the day, I really give myself some silence. I play music and, you know, I put my creams on and I really think about what the day is going to be like and how my first step outside room is going to be. When I take that first step outside my safe space, it sets the tone for my day. So I try not to have it be erratic or scary or like, you know, if I'm late and if I'm running, that always sets the tone for my energy through the day. So I try to really, you know, start my day on the tone I want to have and the confidence I want to have. And at every given step during the day, I remind myself of the things I have instead of the things I don't have. Like, insecurity comes from a lot of it sometimes I think comes from, oh, my gosh, I don't have this. It's not good enough, or I'm not good enough for particular scenario or a particular situation, or, you know, we start judging ourselves. And this was another lesson, actually an activity that my mom and I used to do is we used to count our blessings. And, you know, me and my husband do it, too. Whenever we're feeling crazy because our schedules are insane, we're, you know, always in different parts of the world, we do that. We count our blessings about just five things that whenever you're feeling sort of crazy and unstable that, you know you have that you're really grateful for. And I'm not even saying this superficially, this was, like, truly an exercise. No matter how badly off you are, someone else is worse off than you. That makes it so easy to count your blessings.

I mean, especially watching this latest movie that you're in. I mean, White Tiger. I've only been to India once. I went there four years ago and studied meditation in Chennai for a couple of weeks. But I went to Delhi and kind of traveled around a little bit. I didn't see everything, but I saw a lot of dark things and a lot of things that were constantly reminding me, wow, I have a lot to be grateful for every moment. So I think it's important to have that perspective in our lives, that we always have something to be grateful for. Even when it's the darkest time, there's something to be grateful for.

Absolutely. And that's so empowering that, to me, is my greatest mantra, is, you know, truly and tangibly, do it on your fingers. Do it like just five things. And it's a great exercise to do with someone as well. Your kids, your family. You know, anytime it's just like, five things, then you have to just say, rattle it out, the five things that you can think of at that point. But, you know, the crazy part about the White Tiger is that it's based in India and you probably reacted to it because it's shot so authentically. But if you think about it, the majority of the world lives in those conditions, you know, and the socioeconomic divide that exists right now is only increasing. Like, even the Sustainable Development Goals have been Set to eradicate extreme poverty because it's such a big problem. There's such a large population of the world and we as privileged society, we as privileged people, anyone who has a roof above their head and meals on their table is privileged. And as privileged people, like that's something that's our concern. You know, there's a large generation of children who don't have a choice in their future or in their lives. They don't know if they can have aspirations or dreams and how desensitized. Last time, you know, you've driven past a homeless shelter and you've not even looked at it or a homeless person and not even looked at them. It's the desensitization that we as people who have. And that's the differentiation between the have nots. But it's also a reality. And it's a reality every, everywhere in the world.

I don't want to give away the whole movie. I want everyone to watch it because it is really powerful and inspiring to see someone come from poverty to essentially become an entrepreneur and be successful in their own way. And the story is really powerful. But you took on a role that is, I found fascinating because that's probably not. I don't know if that's how you would react in real life because I know you have such a giving, grateful heart, caring about humanity. But your character does something that's very controversial and you essentially, from my opinion, don't take accountability. And how did you feel doing a role that is probably against your morals, your values, and the way you live your life right now?

I never judge my characters, you know, like I never judge people. Live and let live. Each person is individual to their decisions. And if I started, I would never be able to play bad guys. And I love playing bad guys. But I think what was most interesting for me when I was playing Pinky is she's an American, you know, and I'm an Indian who's grown up in India and understands the complexity of the diversity of that country. There is no one India. There is multiple Indias. And you can spend your whole life trying to get to know it and you'll still never know her. So this is one aspect of India that is showcased in this movie. But it's also. It's more than that. It's the story of this one man and everyone else from his perspective. So it's not us looking at him or the country. It's him looking at all of us saying, oh, you know, and especially with my character, she's woke but she's fake woke, right? She's one of those girls who's like, why don't you pull yourselves out of your circumstances? My parents worked in a bodega, you know, and I pulled myself out. Why don't you do it? He doesn't have a roof over his shoulders. His family doesn't have food. It's a completely different complexity that most woke people don't have the ability to understand, including me. I lived there and I can't claim to understand it because, you know, I.

Have had.

Basic lively life rights since I was a child. I've been to school. I've had an opinion about where my future is going to be, choices. And that's what's so amazing to me about this movie, was that I leaned into playing a character that was fake woke and, you know, pivoted when it wasn't convenient. Me and my husband both in the movie. Not my real husband.

Right, right.

My cat. The character in my. In the movie, both of us sort of like, were like, this is not the right thing. But, you know, when it wasn't, when it was inconvenient, we kind of stood back and watched. And that's a very human testament, which is why this book, this movie, which was originally a book by Arvind the Diga, which came out in 2008, it was a Man Booker Prize winner. It was a New York Times bestseller.

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Out, that's exactly what it did. It was such a human sort of transcript. Human behavior, you know, flawed, not black or white, living in gray. All of them living in gray, which is truly how we live. And it's sort of self reflective. It should make people feel introspective and think about the last time we behaved like that. Plus, it's clever and it's sarcastic. Sarcasm is my favorite language, so I really enjoyed the tone of the movie as well.

Speaking about sarcasm, was it pretty easy for you to step into that character? Living in la then with all the woke, fake woke people here.

I mean, I will say that I may have been inspired by my surroundings just a little bit.

I'm curious, excuse me, I'm curious about your evolution as a woman in this industry. Typically younger women are more desirable for opportunities in their late teens, early 20s. And it's like when you're 26, 27, it's almost like you're old as a woman and you may not be the young sexy one anymore or something in this industry. How do you feel after getting into your late 30s now? How have you evolved personally to not allow that stigma to hold you back from, from being who you want to be, from accepting yourself, from loving yourself, from innovating and reinventing yourself that you've done so many times? How do you not let that stigma hold you back?

I can't say that I don't. I just am hoping that it doesn't happen to me. You know, we live in a world where anything is possible right now, as we've seen in the last few years, a few months, years as well. And I think that I remember when I was in my, When I was 28, my mom sat me down one day and she said, you know, girls have a shelf life and you're reaching that where you know, the older boys, they're always looking for the younger girl to act with. And even if they're in their 50s, you know, they're still going to be working with 20 year olds, but you're going to be old and you need to think about a business if acting opportunities stop coming your way. That's how I actually started my production house because I was like, you're right, what if I'm like, I need to be financially independent in my life. But at the same time, while this was happening to me, I recognized that innovation and reinventing who I am, even for me, is so important and being true to the craft that I'm doing and the service that I have to provide, which is my job. So I started trying new things. I started wanting to grow. I didn't want to stagnate into doing the same kind of roles. I didn't want to stagnate in, you know, similar kind of parts or even languages and borders. And I did music. I was signed as a recording artist to Interscope, where I met Bose. I pivoted from that into television that I had never done, English language tv. Then I moved into features in America. Now I'm producing in India and America and acting in both these countries, which are Two of the greatest movie industries in the world. But if I sat down to think about the glass ceiling that was built for me, I would never have a trajectory powerful enough to break it.

Wow.

Because I didn't make that glass ceiling. So I don't want to think about where it is, you know, it's been made by other people. So you just kind of have to have, you know, speed and run towards your end game and, you know, have a goal and be ambitious and fuel that ambition every single day.

What is the end game to have?

A legacy. I think I want my children to be proud of, you know, the legacy that I've had. I want to be hopefully, you know, part of, you know, the history books of entertainment where I may have contributed to the arts in some way with the work that I have done or the work that I create or the work that I will do. So I want to be able to, as a woman, you know, leave a better world for the girls after us, like the women before me did for me. I don't think about voting today. I don't think about driving today. I don't think about aspiring to have the same job as a man. And all of those fights were fought by women that came before me. So it's my responsibility and our responsibility as a generation to leave it better for the next one. So those are broad strokes of my end games and what.

I mean, I'm sure you get this question a lot. I'm just curious because my audience is a lot of high achievers. They're big dreamers. They're going after what they want. They're learning the skills, the tools to become more confident, more. More giving all those things. It sounds like you're doing everything all at the same time. How do you navigate intimacy, connection, love with, you know, you know, your husband, your family, your friends, the people that matter the most to you? How do you navigate relationships with such a busy, full plate?

It's not easy, you know, there's not as much FaceTime as you would possibly want. But I. When I made the deal with the devil about, you know, running at this fast pace many years ago, I realized that there would be sacrifices that are required. And, you know, when you have. There's no free lunch in the world and when you have ambitions, you've got to sort of pay for it. And. But I overcompensate or I try and compensate with making sure, even if I don't have FaceTime or if I've, like, for a very long time in my life, I missed, you know, birthdays and Diwali and New Year's and I would always be working and all I could do was apologize. And my family always understood because, you know, I was, I was working at something. But I think that I made sure that I always call. I never forget birthdays. I will always call on a birthday if I go to a city, even if I can't meet someone. My family, my friends. I'll make sure we FaceTime. I'm very, it made me very thoughtful about the people I love. I love loving the people that I care about. I love making them feel special and I love being empathetic. And I think it's very important to leave the baggage of the job behind when you walk into your house and just be true to what you're feeling. I think it's, it's important to choose relationships when you're really busy because we can all be caught up in life and, you know, life is like a really fast river. You know, you don't know what the currents are going to be because it's just moving. You don't know what you're going to bump into because it's just moving. But you have to choose to hold on to something when you want to take a breath, right? Just like that. You have to choose to hold on to a relationship, whatever that might be, with your children, with your family, with your parents. You have to make the time and you have to tell the people you love that you love them.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support, support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you of no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great. Building a portfolio with Fidelity Basket portfolios is kind of like making a sandwich. It's as simple as picking your stocks and ETFs, sort of like your meats and other topics and managing it as one big juicy investment. Mmm. Now that's pretty good. Learn more@fidelity.com baskets Investing involves risks, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC Member NYSE SIPC.

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