How Relationships & Emotional Health Affect Your Lifespan w/ Dr. Mark Hyman EP 1396

Okay, so if you haven't heard the news yet, I've got a new book out called the Greatness Mindset. Unlock the power of your mind and live your best life today. It's coming out soon and I'm pumped to invite you to be a part of the launch team for this book. This is a rare opportunity to get your questions answered and network with other champions of greatness in this exclusive community of conscious achievers. If you're ready to receive early access to the first few chapters of the book, behind the scenes updates from me, plus VIP access to bonus and giveaways, then this is for you. For instructions about how to join this Greatness Launch Team, make sure to go to lewishouse.com/launchteam right now. Again, make sure to check it out at lewishouse.com/launchteam right now.

I kept learning about this pattern, and until I really healed that, I wasn't able to just be ready for love. Wow. So you kind of have to not find the right person. You have to be the right person.

Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes. This is How to Be a Former Pro Athlete Turned Lifestyle Entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

This podcast is sponsored by Northwestern Mutual. Everyone wants to feel good about their finances, right? Well, that's why I've had life insurance with Northwestern Mutual for years.

Their financial professionals ask the right questions, truly listen, and help uncover opportunities most people miss.

I've seen it firsthand.

Northwestern Mutual has been a part of my journey from the very beginning, providing the security and peace of mind I need as a human and an entrepreneur. Find a better way to money@nm.com the Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, paid testimonial by a Northwestern Mutual policy owner.

As America's leading business lender, Bank of America is on your corner and in your corner. With $215 billion in business loans and over 3,700 business specialists across the nation, we help businesses thrive, so communities prosper. What would you like the power to do? Learn more at bankofamerica.com/localbusiness. Bank of America, official bank of FIFA Club World Cup 2025. Copyright 2025 Bank of America Corporation, all rights reserved.

Father's Day is coming up, and for lots of dads out there, dad doesn't quite cover it. They're groundskeepers, patio whisperers, and rogue leaf vigilantes, too. So this year, show dad some love with gifts from the Home Depot. They've got fast free delivery on handy gear that helps dad do his thing. We're talking Ryobi cordless outdoor tools like the Ryobi 40 volt expanded string trimmer. Find the perfect Father's Day gift at the Home Depot. Shop in store and online at homedepot.com free delivery subject to availability.

Fuel your greatness with wonderful pistachios. No shells. Wonderful pistachios is a great source of protein with zero guilt. Each 1 oz serving has 6 grams of protein, giving you over 10% of your daily value. Pistachios are known for their protein power, fiber and better for you unsaturated fats for a combination that may help keep you feeling fuller longer. And now there's a new way to snack strong with unsalted no shells, holding the salt, not the flavor, for a snack that packs a protein punch. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

You know, relationships then sound like a massive part of longevity. Absolutely. And you're the person you choose to be with intimately. Sounds like it could play a big part in you living longer or also dying quickly if that person's not there if you don't have the tools to recalibrate once that person is gone or if something happens to them, right?

Yeah, but what happens is we're also part of a society where when your nuclear family, meaning your primary partner goes, you're not embedded in a network of people, right? So in Sardinia and Nicoya, yes, people died and spouses died. So Karma and his wife died. but he was living with his family and his kids and his brother and it was like he had a whole.

Ecosystem, a community of people, a tribe where it's like, okay, one person's gone and it's really sad and you're grieving, but you've got grandkids, you've got kids, you've got parents, you've got uncles and aunts involving you in the community still, right? Creating a process of integration in life, meaning, purpose, community. So in America, what I'm hearing you say is we isolate ourselves more. Totally.

Right?

It's like find your house in the suburbs and your parents go here and your kids go away.

And they look at their neighbors, you know, they look out that they've lived this to somebody for 20 years and.

They don't even know who they are, you know? Sure. What do you think we could do differently? And is it, do you think American society will ever change with this, you know, parents leaving? And because I hear about some of the, I think it's a, in India, it's like they fight over who's going to have their parents sometimes is what I hear. It's like which siblings are going to get to have the parents stay with them?

Yeah, yeah, it's like this. arguing demand is the same thing. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's a hard society we live in, and it's such an individualistic society. It's not a communal society. And I think it's cost us a lot. And I feel like there are little pockets of people who are building community, whether it's online communities, whether it's in-person communities, whether it's communities that are in cities. And so there is a sense of people trying to build community. I'm involved in a lot of these and I'm starting to see it pop around, but I think it's definitely not mainstream yet.

Wow. I talked to one doctor on here and he said he got sick two different times in his life. He's an older guy in his 70s and 80s. And then he recovered from it. I said, what happened? How did you recover? He said, I found love. He's like, I found love and it gave me that sense of meaning, that belonging, that purpose again. It got me back in shape. It got me making better decisions. living life to the fullest.

Totally.

Why is love such a strong healer?

Love is medicine. I mean, I think, you know, it's the same reason that community is, the same reason belonging is, is because, you know, when we have a deep connection relation with someone, it literally changes our gene expression. So if you're in a loving connection with someone, yes, it's this whole scientific field of sociogenomics. Right? How our social relationships affect our genes. And we know if you're in a conflictual relationship, you will turn on genes of inflammation which cause disease and aging. If you are in a loving, connected, heart-centered relationship, you are activating all the repair genes. You literally, through cuddling, can change your epigenome. Mm.

Right?

It's amazing.

So stay in bed for an extra five minutes and cuddle.

I love cuddling. I got home last night and I just laid there with Martha, just hugging her for like, 30 minutes is like, I just want to relax. And it feels healing because your body relaxes. It feels like whatever's going on, you can calm it down and just be peaceful.

Totally.

It's a beautiful thing.

So you've been married a few times, right? Married and divorced a few times. Yeah, I'm an expert in relationships. Expert in relationships. Three times. What would you say is the biggest lessons from marriage and divorce that have.

Taught you about health and longevity? That's a great question. I think, you know, everybody is different. And for me, the key to really finding happiness and the key to finding love that is a really good, healthy, solid love, which I have now, was really dealing with my original traumas and wounds.

Really?

Yeah.

And I think, you know, you wrote a book about toxic masculinity. And I think, you know, we all, whether we're men or women, throughout our childhood have bigger, small traumas. You know, Gabor Mate talks about micro trauma, macro trauma. You know, micro trauma could just not being seen by your parents and not being loved well enough or neglected or not actual abuse, whereas, you know, there's actual real emotional or physical abuse or sexual abuse. So all that registers in our nervous system. And for me, I had corrupted love.

Software, and I had to heal that.

A corrupted love software.

Yeah, definitely. What did that What did that mean for you?

Well, you know, I'll take the brief stories. You know, my mother was a child of deaf parents.

Deaf?

Deaf. They couldn't hear. So, she was her ears and her eyes.

Wow, that's a lot of responsibility.

So, she became a parent to them.

Yeah.

She became somebody who thought that love was taking care of people who needed help or were broken.

Wow, that's interesting.

Right?

So, she picked my dad and my stepfather who were very broken. and they were in very, you know, damaged emotionally. And that was because, you know, that's what she knew.

That was her familiarity.

Familiarity. And my, you know, my dad was broken because his mother, you know, was a child of 13 and accidentally killed her sister when she was two, pushing her off to swing.

Oh.

And it was the pry of the family. Had to sit at a different table, was completely neurotic and anxious. And that epigenome goes in through, it's translated through Generations, and so. It all makes sense. And so then my mom was super depressed and unhappy and she used me to be her therapist.

Oh man.

As a little kid. Which is bad.

You repeated the pattern.

And I thought, oh love is taking care of someone who's needy and broken. Right.

Who needs me.

Oh yeah, so I would had the savior complex and I would try to fill this hole that I had, this emptiness that I had because I thought that, you know, if I did that, I could kind of feel this emptiness that I have picking these people in a way that filled me up because I was serving them or taking care of them or... And it wasn't always exactly like that, but I kept learning about this pattern and until I really healed that, I wasn't able to just be ready for love. So you kind of have to not find the right person, you have to be the right person.

That's so true. What allowed you to heal it? What allowed you to recognize it and then start the healing journey?

Yeah, which is a journey. Yeah, I know. intellectually understood it, but, you know, it's physical. Yeah, but I really went through a process of using psychedelics to heal a lot of the trauma, which, you know, is now emerging as a really valid way to start to re-pattern your neurology that literally changes the structure and function of your neurons in your brain, these compounds. And I began to sort of do some inquiry. I decided to take like a break from relationships and really do a deep in-dive looking at my own mind, my own thoughts, my own beliefs. Every day writing them down, kind of rewriting it, the story from my higher self. And then I unpacked my whole life with a friend of mine who's a coach, a really amazing woman, Lauren Zander. And I was able to kind of see my whole childhood very differently and talk about incest that happened to me and things that I just hadn't buried for 50 years. And then I saw this movie, CODA. which was a Best Picture Academy Award winning film last year about children of deaf adults. CODA means Children of Deaf Adults. And it was my mother's story. Not actually her story, but it was the same. She was a child of deaf parents.

I still haven't seen it, but the child has got a deaf family, right?

Yeah, she's hearing, and it's about her struggle to become, you know, like disentangled from the dependency her parents had on her.

Holy cow.

So what opened up for you? So that was like, that just like hit me like a lightning bolt. And I just was sobbing and sobbing. It took me hours and hours to watch the movie because I had to stop because I was just being like on the floor just in this cathartic process. And I know that never really happened to me like that before. And after that happened, I kind of got, what happened to my mother, I got what happened to me, I got, you know, what was going off in my own nervous system. And then I just felt free and like I felt light and I healed a lot of that. So it took me a while. I'm a slow learner. I'm good with medicine, but it's not-.

Oh, we all have our things.

It took me a minute. It took me a minute. But now I just feel like I have such a different wiring and a different nervous system. And it's, I feel way calmer and way less anxious in relationship.

I mean, where would you be had you not talked to that therapist friend and kind of looked back at your entire history of your life and assessed it? If you didn't watch that movie, if you didn't do the psychedelics, kind of all those medicines in one, where would you be had you skipped it after your last relationship?

I mean, you know, I always made a joke. I said, I had a broken picker. You know, I still have a broken picker. I said, try to find someone who isn't really the person that's going to be able to meet me that's an equal and, you know, have a healthy attachment style. It can, you know, be independent but come together and, you know, just like it really. It really was powerful.

So.

Yeah, that's incredible.

Yeah.

This all happened in the last couple years.

Yeah.

There's hope after 60, even if you're keep choosing poorly.

Yeah, totally. Totally.

That's incredible.

Yeah.

They just got me free. and I think, you know, a lot of these cultures don't have to deal with this stuff. I mean, of course there's always family drama and this and that, but I think, you know, there's such a level of connection and community and mutual support and happiness and joy as part of living that we've sort of lost. And I think that was a big learning for me.

And how did you feel beforehand, like in the previous 40 years of different marriages and relationships? Did you, you said you feel free and lighter. Did you never feel free in marriage or in relationship?

No, I didn't. I always felt. What was the thing? I didn't know until afterwards. You know, you don't know how hard it is standing on your foot until it gets off. It was kind of like that. Like, wow, I was always so anxious and kind of trying to hold on to love and keep love and be afraid of losing love and want someone to love me. And it just was like such a weird dynamic that I was embedded in that I didn't even fully see. Really? Yeah.

And this is fun. I'm so excited you're sharing this. This is powerful.

Yeah.

I think a lot of people need to see this and hear this. from you, Mark, because they see you as this, I don't know, what are you, 30 time New York Times bestselling author? You know, this individual who's done so well and been so successful in many areas of life. And I'm not saying that, you know, the marriages and the relationships you went in were all like failures. I'm sure you had great love and connection and moments and things like that, but they weren't, you know, it sounds like the right fit and you didn't feel like you were free inside.

Right.

And maybe they didn't feel the same thing either, so I'm not saying they were bad and wrong or something. But to hear you talk about this, this healing journey at this stage, as someone who studies healing and as someone who studies medicine and that studies all these things, even you had to learn how to heal relationships. Totally. You knew about the body stuff and food and medicine, but it was the healing, the relationship and the childhood wound that you carried with you.

All those years. And what's interesting now, Louis, is in our culture, we're starting to have a language for this and the acceptance of this and the sort of not seeing mental illness as a stigma, but as a consequence of a lot of cultural and personal trauma. I mean, just living in our culture today is traumatic. You just open the newspaper, listen to the news, or the amount of conflict and strife and just economic inequities and all the things that we're dealing with, climate change. I mean, it's a very psychologically stressful moment of history. But we also can shift a relationship to that by understanding how our brains work and our nervous systems work and start to actually not necessarily get caught up in all that and kind of reset our systems. So one of the key things I talk about in the book is mindset. It's how our minds really play a role in our longevity. And if we don't get that straight, we're screwed. When people kill themselves by their thoughts, right? Literally.

Give me some examples. What do you mean how do they kill themselves? I mean, they have suicidal thoughts. They'll lead themselves to killing themselves.

I mean, it's all about belief, right? So when you look at voodoo, for example, I mean, you put a voodoo hex on somebody, boom, they can drop dead. One of my mentors who very much inspired me in performing medicine was Bernie Siegel, who wrote Love Medicine and Miracles. who's this kind of Yale oncologist, bald guy, so cute, writes with a purple pen, letters he used to write me, and that before email. And he talked about these studies where they would tell this cancer patient that they found this great new cure and they gave them this pill that was a placebo and their tumors shrunk overnight. And then they told them a month later, two months later, oh, they found it didn't work so well and the tumors came flying back. so, like, that's the power of the pharmacy in our mind.

This is fascinating. I'm so. I'm still kind of amazed that this all happened in the last couple years. So after the movie, you had this cartharsis experience. Right.

Yeah.

And you felt lighter after that.

Yeah. I felt free.

Right after this.

Yeah.

On the floor, sobbing moment.

Yeah.

I can't.

It's hard to explain it, but I.

Just felt like I was flying. Like, I just felt like I'd been carrying this weight my whole life. They just.

Do you feel like it was completely, do you feel like your body has, your nervous system was fully healed after that? Or has there been moments of like triggers and kind of the PTSD feelings in your nervous system where like, I.

Think it's echoes and shadows more that come back now. Like that, can I can recognize and go, oh, all right, whatever. It's not like it grabs me like it used to. Wow.

Yeah.

This is fascinating. This all happened in the last couple of years.

Yeah, pretty cool. And as you know, and then I began to think about, you know, just aging and longevity in general. And how do we build a life that creates healing in our body, whether it's healing or trauma? And I have a whole section in the book about healing trauma because that's a key part. That's huge. And some of the things that are now available like ketamine and psychedelic ganglion blocks and increasingly probably by 2024, MDMA will be available legally for psychedelic assisted therapy. And maybe psilocybin, I think, was legalized in Colorado now. in Oregon. So it's all coming. And I think there's so many different modalities for people to choose from that we never had before. Sure.

How important is expressing your emotions, crying, laughing, and living longer and healthier?

Well, I do a lot of laughing and I do some crying. And I think in my current relationship, I'm the crier. Like if we're watching a movie or, you know, like whatever. where we were listening to a speech at a wedding.

I'm the one crying. It's so funny because yesterday I was on a flight and I watched Coco, the movie Coco. I'm literally, there's an older guy next to me and I'm literally, I kid you not, I cried four times watching Coco.

The music and the storytelling.

I'm like, this is a cartoon and I'm crying. But it was so beautiful and I was telling Martha about it and she was like, yeah, it's such a beautiful, because it's all about family. It's all about connection. It's all about like-- sharing your music with the world and this beautiful story. So you feel like you're the crier in the relationship.

That's right.

But how powerful is crying as an emotion and laughing?

I think it's being able to be free and expressed, whatever it is. Being able to not have to shut down and shut off and to learn how to do it in a way that's not destructive, right? To do it in a way that's loving and kind and thoughtful. There's always a way of getting expressed without hurting somebody else.

Yes.

I think we tend in our culture to lash out and to be reactive and that's not good. That's not healthy. So it's like Victor Frankl's idea of slowing things down. Like in between stimulus and response, there's a gap or a pause, right? And then that pause lies the choice. So you can choose to slow down the whole process. And I friends with Tom Brady and he's like, you know, when I snap the ball, Everything's in slow motion. Everything just slows down. It's like...

It's amazing.

You think it all happens like in seconds, but like he's like all the time in the world, right? Everything just goes in slow motion because he's so present. So we can do that in every moment. It just takes practice. It's a skill. If you want to lift 50 pounds, well, you have to work at it, right? If you want to train your mind to work differently, you have to work at it. You have to investigate your mind. That's what, you know, all these practices and everything. ancient. We in our culture are really good with outer technology, but places like Tibet, they were really experimenting with inner technology for thousands of years and learned all sorts of skills about mastering the mind. So mastering your body is key, but mastering your mind is also a key to longevity.

And so it's like mastering your emotions and your heart is a key as well.

Yeah, but your mind is what regulates your emotions. Now people have argued with me about this, but What happens first is your thought and then the feeling, right? And then the emotion.

Sure.

Right?

Because you have, even if it's an instantaneous thing, there's some thought that precedes it, even if it's a subconscious thought that precedes the feeling or emotion.

So you never have the feeling first. Unless you don't have the ability to think, but then you probably want to be here.

So it's like, well, some people don't have that, but yeah.

So it's always a thought.

Yeah.

Or it's a, so it can't be a feeling, huh? 'Cause you have to think it first before you feel it.

Yes, I think so. I think always, whether it's like, if.

You smell something that brings back a memory, right?

Is that a thought or a feeling? Or if you, you know, you see you're about to get in a car crash, you have the thought, I'm gonna die, and then your body goes into reaction. And it can happen in a millisecond, but like, you could have a millisecond thought, but it's always gonna precede whatever it is.

Sure, sure. So I'm curious about the relationship stuff because I think you don't talk about this a lot.

I do a little bit. We can do it.

And I think I'm starting to believe more and more that the relationship you have with yourself is massive. The way you view yourself, your beliefs, you're talking about this now, how you think about yourself, how you feel about yourself is key towards living a healthy life now but also extending your life.

Totally.

And the way you view and think about your intimate relationship. I used to feel like I was trapped all the time. You know, I was fearful and I felt like I was trapped and there was no way out. I couldn't be myself. And that would make me feel unhealthy inside. It made me feel like I was a six out of a 10 every day. So I felt like trapped, right? No, I'm doing that to myself. No one is trapping me. It's my fear and insecurity of leaving the relationship or whatever it might be, or having the courage to communicate, all these things that I needed to learn. And so the relationship we have with ourselves and with our intimate partner, I'm starting to learn is the most powerful, one of the most powerful things for longevity.

A force inside and out, the Range Rover Sport is available with a choice of powerful engines, including a plug-in hybrid with an estimated range of 53 miles. We all know that staying hydrated is so important, and we've heard it a million times, but let's be real, you can really feel the difference when you're hydrated properly. You're sharper, you're energized, and you're ready to go. And when you're not, well, you feel foggy, sluggish, just drained. And with the summer heat coming, staying on top of hydration isn't just a good idea, it's a must. And that's why I love Liquid IV. It's powered by LIV Hydrscience, which is clinically studied to maintain hydration better than water alone for up to four hours. And I've been loving the new sugar-free raspberry lemonade hydration multiplier. It's so refreshing. And I don't know about you, but if I'm not hydrated, It's hard to function, whether I'm gearing up for a workout, recording a podcast, or pushing through a packed day. Liquid IV always keeps me hydrated. And if you've ever hit that mid-afternoon slump or struggled to keep up, trust me, this is a game changer. Maximize your hydration with Liquid IV and get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code LEWIS at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with.

Code LEWIS@liquidiv.com this is an advertisement from better help. You know, one of the biggest stigmas we still need to break, especially for men, is the idea that asking for help is weakness. In reality, it's the most courageous thing you can do. Taking care of your mental health doesn't make you soft. It makes you strong, focused and grounded. We live in a world that puts a lot of pressure on men to man up, stay silent, and just push through. But bottling it all up only leads to burnout, anxiety, or Worse. And the truth? It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not have all the answers. And there is real power in opening up. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, helping over 5 million people get the support they need without the hassle of waiting rooms or long commutes. You can talk to a therapist from wherever you are and switch anytime if needed. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/Lewis. That's BetterHLP.com/Lewis.

Because we're going to, it's going to shape the actions we have, the decisions we make on a daily basis, how we show up, what we eat, the environment, all that stuff. What is the, some of the conversations you're having in your relationship about longevity? and about, you know, you're entering a new relationship from a different space, a healed space. Are you having different types of conversations than you never had before? If so, what are they?

Yeah, I think they're really different. I mean, I think, you know, and.

Are you showing up as your whole self finally?

Is that what I. I think I'm able to. I think I'm able to be free and independent and still fully connected all the time. So as opposed to feeling dependent or needing.

So you're unattached. You're highly engaged, but you have low attachment.

Fully committed, but not like low attachment.

Yeah.

I'm securely attached, what they say is securely attached as opposed to being insecurely attached or avoidant. Like there's all these styles of attachment, but there's a healthy attachment style. A lot of us have attachment disorders because we weren't loved well as kids or we, you know, we had various kinds of traumas. So we have these attachment disorders. and I think I had more of an anxious attachment disorder. And I think that through healing that, I'm able to sort of be able to just be present to whatever is and not be in reaction. And that's such a powerfully different way, whatever it is we're doing. And my partner is also extremely self-aware and extremely talented at communicating.

That's beautiful.

And she has her own stuff that she works through. But we do it together as if it's a gift that we are able to unpack together as opposed to something that's oppositional. Like, you have to fix this, you have to do this, you did this, you did that. Like, that's terrible. So we go, oh, here's a trigger. I feel triggered by blah, blah, blah.

How do you handle it if you're in that situation?

We really deeply listen to each other. We don't react. and then we take it as a third entity that's something for us to take care of together as opposed to something, you better fix this or I'm out, you know? And it's like, oh, you know, like today I was like, I learned from my partner that she doesn't like hosting parties. You know, we're having a party and I asked her, you know, to help with something and she was like, I don't like hosting parties. I was like, okay, now I know. You know it, but like, it's like I could have reacted and got upset and mad and it's like I kind of told a whole story story of my head, it's this. But I'm like, oh, okay, well, this is what she needs. She's like, I don't like doing this and that. Rather than having to fix it or figure out why, or she doesn't like chocolate or she doesn't like strawberries or whatever, it's fine. I don't like doing everything either. I don't really like whiskey, but I like tequila. It's fine, who cares?

Do you think you'd be able to analytically heal, like just thinking, if you would have just thought about these things versus the physical releases that you had as well.

I think it's somatic. I think a lot of this is buried in our tissues. Nervous system. The body keeps score about trauma. And I think if we don't learn how to somatically release this stuff, it is an intellectual exercise that doesn't happen.

It doesn't work.

It helps, but it's not enough.

I'm curious about the, in terms of the things that will decrease your lifespan at night. A lot of people talk about the morning routines, but I'm curious about the evening routines that will decrease lifespan.

Holy cow, that's a great question. There's a really amazing book I read years ago called Lights Out. It was a book that was looking at the research on the harmful impact of the light bulb on human health. It was pretty convincing in showing that because we're not following the natural rhythms of the sun, we're actually altering our biology in ways that damage our health. So when you're exposed to LED lights at night, to fluorescent lights at night, to full spectrum light bulbs at night, incandescent light bulbs, it's not normal for our physiology for 200,000 years. And all of a sudden, the last 100,000 of the last I mean, the last 100 of the 200,000 years, we're all of a sudden exposed to this light bulb. Our brains don't process it properly. And so we inhibit melatonin. We don't sleep as well. We increase cortisol. And there's really crazy studies on how this can create obesity, heart disease, cancer, dementia. And that's just being exposed to light at night. So now there's this advent of an understanding of how we might block blue light, which is what you need in the morning, right? You want to be exposed to bright light from the sun the first thing in the morning, 20 minutes with no sunglasses, that's great. But at night, it's not a good idea. Sure. So there are now red light bulbs that only have red light and a blue light. There's blue blocker glasses where you can put on glasses at night and wear those at night around the house. Screens are the worst thing at night. So that's a horrible thing that people do. They go to bed with their phone, they wake up with their phone. It's like they spend more time on their phone with their partner. My nephew is like, Look, my screen time is only five hours today. I'm like, Five hours? Imagine what you could do in five hours. If you had five hours, right? You could make all the food for your week. You could exercise. You could write a book. You could make a song. You could whatever, you know, every day. And I think we also are not actually winding down. So we go, go, go, go, go, then hit the bed and expect to sleep, but we can't do that. So having a routine, and I talk a lot about the power of sleep and longevity and the power of sleep in the brain, but we're probably sleeping a couple hours less than we did throughout most of human history. And some people even less than that. And that has a huge impact on our cognitive function, especially at night. We have a brain cleaning system called the glymphatic system, which is like the lymph system for the brain. So it's like the cleanup crew comes at night and cleans up your brain from all the garbage that accumulates from metabolic waste and stuff. stuff for the day, well, if you don't sleep, that's not working. And you get that if you go to bed and you wake up and you don't sleep enough, you feel foggy and tired. If you get a good eight, nine, 10 hours sleep, you wake up, you're like, boom, everything's crystal clear and your brain's working. I mean, it's not rocket science. So it's not just because you haven't slept, there's a biology of what's happening. So you're producing nasty proteins and inflammation and all kinds of stuff. And also, I think we are exposed to way too much sound and light and stimulus at night. Temperature regulation is not good. So there's a lot of really cool devices like the eight sleep bed and, you know, another one, I forget the name of it, but cooler, whatever it is. And, and basically you, you can put in your bed and lower the temperature. We do better sleeping at about 65 to 68, 70, 67 degrees. And if we do that, our bodies work better. We sleep better. I know for me, if it's hot, I don't sleep.

I can't sleep well.

Yeah. Yeah.

Put it at 67-68. Yeah.

DAC. Yeah.

But then it's like your face is like cold, so you have to figure.

That'S why the cooler, the chili powder, yeah. The chili powder, yeah. And that's great. And the eight sleep, you can have.

One side that's hot for your partner.

And one that's cool for you. Is that what eight sleep does? It's like cold on one side and the other one. You can do whatever you want. It's interesting. Progress. You can put on a king-sized bed. It's divided in half, so you can control your half. It's pretty nice. And also you can control it through the night. You want it cooler in the morning, cooler at night, hotter in the middle.

Of the night, whatever.

That's cool. The best sleep I ever have is when I go camping and I'm like winter camping. Really? I sleep like, I just feel like.

I, you know, slept like 8 hours.

Because you probably go to bed at like 8 o'clock at night.

Yeah. But you stay like 10 hours.

Yeah. It's like, you watch the stars, you have a fire, you're like, tell some stories. Well, this is what we pass out. Exactly. That's what we always did historically, you know? We don't just like work, work, work, watch TV, go to bed, or be on our phone or write emails to the last minute and text and then go to sleep. It's just our bodies are not designed for that. So, in the book, I talk a lot about evening routines and what you can do and the temperature, the sound, the light, hot baths at night, Epsom salt, meditation, whatever works for you.

Warm bath at night works well too.

Oh yeah, hot bath, Epsom salt brings it right down.

Right down, boom. What about, in the book you also talk about the seven core biological systems and how we can use them to stop and reverse biological aging. Yeah.

What are some of those?

Yeah, so functional medicine is a very important paradigm shift in healthcare, which looks at the body as an ecosystem, not as a bunch of different separate parts. So as I was talking about earlier, the hallmarks of aging are what scientists are now saying underlies all disease. That's a huge advance, because instead of like 155,000 diseases, there's like 10 things that go wrong. And if we fix those 10 things, we get rid of all the rest, right? but then the question comes, what's the cause of those hallmarks of aging? So functional medicine is the medicine of why. Not what disease you have and what drug to give or even what hallmark is there, but why is there a problem with this particular hallmark? Why are there epigenetic changes? Why are your mitochondria not working? Why are your nutrients not being sensed properly? Why are you making zombie cells? Why do you have inflammation? Why do you have damaged proteins? Why do you have stem cells getting pooped out? That's the important question, right? So in functional medicine, we think that there are really simple answers to these questions. You're either dying of too much of something that's bugging your system that you need to get rid of, or too little of something you need for health, one of the ingredients for health that we need to get and help us thrive. Like I said, I took the class in what causes disease, but not what causes health. Functional medicine is about the science of creating health. In the framework of science and functional medicine, there are seven biological systems or networks. It's a network of networks. They're not all separate. These seven systems, again, underlie all disease and the imbalances in these systems cause disease. It's either too much of toxins, allergens, bad food, stress, microbes, microbiome stuff, and not enough of the right ingredients for health, the right nutrition, nutrients, balance of hormones, light, air, water, sleep, exercise, deep rest, community, meaning, purpose, love, relationships. These are all the ingredients for health, right? When those are too much or too little of those things, it causes disturbances in these seven systems. And what are they? Well, there's your microbiome in your gut. There's your immune inflammatory system, we call that defense and repair. Your energy system, how you make energy in your cells and mitochondria. And by the way, these are also in a way some of the hallmarks of aging, right? Sure, sure, sure. And then detoxification, which isn't really talked much about in the hallmarks of aging, but it's key because toxins cause a lot of the hallmarks of aging. So how do you detox your body? How do you process your metabolic toxins, environmental toxins? then your transport system, which is your circulation and lymph system system, and then there's communication systems, which is your hormones and your transmitters, all the nutrient sensing systems, how it all works. And lastly is your structural system, what you're made of, you know, from your subcellular structures, your mitochondria, your cell membranes, all the way to your bones and muscles and everything else. So that's what we think of. And so my job as a functional medicine doctor is to understand what's causing the imbalance in this particular person? So if you have, just because you know the name of the disease does not mean you know what's wrong with you. You could have 10 people with heart disease or diabetes or Alzheimer's or rheumatoid arthritis and each of them might have different causes. One person with rheumatoid arthritis might have gluten sensitivity, another person might have a parasite, another person might have mercury poisoning, another person might have a problem with their microbiome, another person might have some other factor. It's really about looking at the personalized approach to understand the root cause of each person's dysfunction. And yes, there are certain ways the body manifests dysfunction, and there's a limited number of ways, right? I would say there's only so many ways your body can say ouch. But there's a myriad of causes. But from this functional medicine perspective, we look at what are these root causes of the hallmarks of aging? How do we get these seven systems in balance? And that will fix those hallmarks of aging. because a lot of scientists now in the longevity space, and by the way, there's billions of dollars flowing into this space because a lot of very wealthy billionaires don't want to die. So they're putting billions of dollars in like Jeff Bezos and Calico from Google.

And Yuri Milner, all these people are.

Just pouring money in because they want to live longer. I think it's great. I think it's great because the government isn't funding it. They spend like a couple hundred million dollars a year on aging, studying aging, which is ridiculous because that's we spent $6 billion on cancer, and yet if we cured cancer, we'd have a couple of years life expectancy. If we fixed aging, we'd get 30 years. It's not just about this hedonistic pursuit of living longer and this selfish idea, I don't want to die. It's about think about a society where you have the value of the wisdom and experience and the knowledge that comes from living a while. Now, not everybody gets wiser as they get older. I found that out for sure. but a lot of you all do. And then any contribution they could make if they're fit and healthy. Now, if they're sick and diseased, it's going to be a huge drain on society. But the truth is that these studies have shown that if you are taking care of yourself, you live a lot longer and your health span equals your lifespan. Meaning you basically don't spend the last 20% of your life decrepit and diseased, which is what is average now. So let's say you live to be 80 the last, let's say 20 years of your life, you're on the downhill. Whereas with the studies on health span, and this was one by James Fries, I talked about the book was published years ago in the New England Journal of Medicine, they basically looked at three habits. Keep your ideal body weight, don't smoke, and exercise. Not a ton of stuff. And they found that when people did that, They not only lived longer, but they died quickly, painlessly and cheaply. Really? And didn't cost a lot to the healthcare system.

Wow.

Whereas people who didn't do those things died earlier, but died long, painful, expensive deaths.

So three things. Keep the ideal body weight. Don't smoke.

And exercise.

And you'll die better.

Exactly. So, you know, I want to have my health span equal my life span. I want to be able to go for a hike on my last day of my life at 120, like you said at the beginning. That's amazing.

You know, make love and go to.

Bed and that's it. And then just don't wake up.

Say goodbye. That's amazing. And do people do that in the Blue Zones?

Do you see that they're maybe it's like 1.2 billion. Yeah, it's very interesting. I mean, my friend Jeff Blaine is the father of functional medicine, tells the story of his grandfather who was, I think, almost 100 and they had a big Thanksgiving dinner, everybody was happy, he's like, Hey, everybody. It's been a great life. I love you all. This is it. I'm gonna go. And he like went to bed and like after a great dinner and walked to bed and went to sleep and never woke up.

Come on. He was happy and everything was good. Great.

Yeah.

I think he didn't.

Like, I'm done.

I'm done.

No way.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I've heard this story many times. Come on.

I've heard this story many times.

Really?

That's incredible.

He was healthy though.

He was fine.

I mean, he wasn't healthy enough. I mean, he was. He seemed healthy. Like, I mean, you know, He was able to get up from the table and do his things and hang out with his family.

He was like, Thank you for the last great dinner. Yeah, pretty much. That's incredible.

So yeah, your health span can equal your lifespan. That's what the point of this book is. If you keep working on your biological age through all the strategies and the tools and very practical application of the science in the book Young Forever, you can increase your health span. You can reverse your biological age. and we know how to do this. It's not hard.

What do you think is something that you're gonna learn in this next decade? You've learned so much in the last decade with all the new research and science and studies that have come along in the last decade. Now going in from 60s into, a decade from now to your 70s, what do you think is gonna happen for you?

Personally? Yeah. Or in science and medicine?

Both.

I mean, I think, you know, it's the most exciting time right now in medicine science because even as we're all getting sicker and dying younger and life expectancies going down in America, the acceleration and pace of scientific advances and the convergence of a number of different phenomena from systems biology to artificial intelligence to the genomic revolution to functional medicine, systems biology to big data computing, is just blowing up how we're going to be understanding the body. So imagine a future where you'll be able to get a panel of lab tests, put your body through a whole body MRI, sequence your entire genome, your microbiome, have a bioreactor implanted that will track everything in real time over thousands of biomarkers and give you feedback in real time about exactly what you should do, how much you should sleep, what you should tweak, what you should eat, what you shouldn't eat. It would be so mind-blowing to completely keep track of everything all the time. Like, your computer has billions of sensors, right? And if your tires are low, oh, God, my tire is low on the left back tire. Like, how great is that? We don't have that, right? We go to your doctor, you get a checkup, he does your exam and checks a panel of blood tests. It hasn't changed in 100 years. You know, like, it's like, go on. You know, like, we are in a very different era of medicine, and it's happening at such a pace. So, the clinical practice of medicine today is not that, but it's coming very fast. so I'm excited about that. I think I'm going to learn a lot about more about how the body works through the use of these big data analytics and artificial intelligence and machine learning applied to literally gigabytes and gigabytes of your own personal health data, which we're soon going to be able to access. It'll be in the cloud. Sure. And you'll be able to sort of learn so much from it and compare it to others. And so I think that's really exciting on a personal level. You know, I'm sort of excited about continuing to experiment with my own biological age and my own well-being and my own health and my own spiritual growth and to feel like I'm just beginning. I honestly feel like I'm 20 again. I feel like, you know, when you're 20, you go, God, what am I gonna be when I grow up? What am I gonna do? Really? Kind of, yeah, 'cause I kind of checked the boxes. I had my family, I had my kids, have meaning and purpose, have a great relationship. Career is good. I'm like, I don't have any more mountains to climb in the way of proving anything. and yet I have the health and the vitality and the resources to actually reimagine the rest of my life the next 60 years. What does the next 60 years look like? What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? What do I want to be? So, like, I'm getting better at surfing. I'm going to go heli-skiing this year. I'm going to go, you know, we're going to go climbing the mountains in South America, in Patagonia. I'm going to, you know, just, I'm going to do whatever I want to do. It's amazing. The truth is, I'm 63, and I think back when I was a kid, man, 63 was frickin' old. You know, 63, yeah. They weren't doing too good. The pot bellies, and the gray hair, and the puffy face. Maine, I'm like, no way. Like, I'm like, it just doesn't have to be that way.

Maine, where life the way it should be transforms all who encounter its spectacular landscapes. Rugged coastlines, pine-scented trails, sandy beaches, sparkling lakes, and tranquil forests inspire you to reflect and make meaningful moments. They offer endless opportunities for adventure and exploration. Whether peddling or paddling, hiking or biking, Maine has more than enough outdoor spaces to make the most of long summer days.

Relish in exquisite flavors harvested from the.

Ocean and the rich soils of orchards and fields. Maine's makers are rooted in its heritage while boldly branching into new ways of thinking, doing, and being. Connect with its people in warm and authentic towns, which beckon you to stroll art galleries and locally owned shops, where generations of artists, writers, entrepreneurs, and craftspeople see the world anew. It's tempting to do it all when you visit, but take a beat and a breath. Get a feel for the time and tempo of Maine. Simple pleasures, Scenic Adventures, where every route is the scenic one. Discover more at visitmaine.com.

Should it stay or should it go?

What if I mess it up?

What if I have to pay taxes now?

If you're unsure about an old 401k, it's okay. Fidelity can help you understand your options, avoid mistakes and taxes, and feel good about your decisions for your retirement savings. To learn more, visit fidelity.com/rollover. Be sure to consider all your available options and the applicable fees and features of each before moving your retirement assets. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC member NYSE/SIPC.

You know, and I had friends over in Hawaii visiting me last year, and I was riding my bike every day, working out, and I had my 30-year-old friends, and I'm like, let's go for a bike ride. I'm like, okay. And these are not people who are out of shape or overweight or unhealthy. These are really healthy people. One of them was like a college D1 soccer player. And I'm riding my bike straight up seven miles up the hill. And she's like, Come on, come on. And one of them had to turn back. And I'm like, Wow, it's amazing to see that if you learn the science of how to create health, that you can continue to involve and improve and optimize your health at any age.

It's beautiful, man. It's exciting. I'm gonna turn 40 next year.

Oh, wow.

If you could go back to your 40-year-old self and give me advice for three things to focus on from 40 until 60, what would those three things be that you would tell me or tell your younger 40-year-old self that you wish you would have done?

I would say really, really, really invite play and joy in your life. Don't wait. I'm reading this book called Die With Zero, which is a great book meditating on the idea that we save our money and we squirrel our nuts away and we don't have all these experiences. And in my life, I haven't done a lot of stuff. I have one house, my car is five years old, I paid for it, it's a little Volvo. I don't have a lot of stuff. but I love experiences. So I will spend money on experiences. You know, I'll go on Safari or I'll go, you know, learn how to surf in Costa Rica for a month, or I'll, you know, go, go to do some, you know, incredible backcountry skiing experience with friends, or I'll, I'll invite, you know, I'm inviting, like, 30 of my closest friends to Italy to go in a Villa for a week and, you know, have all kinds of, you know, fun experiences together. So experience is really what matters and what brings the joy to life. So building relationships building connections, building community. It's so central to health and well-being in life. And I did that, but I definitely worked too hard. I definitely did not give myself enough time for that. The second thing is, I probably would have started working out sooner. I mean, I always did bike riding and tennis and yoga. And I just, I was like, gyms are stinky. I don't like weights. If I do 10 push-ups, it hurts the next day. I don't like this. so when I was 50, I couldn't do 10 push-ups and now I can drop and do 80 without a stop. Incredible.

Yeah.

So it's like, you know, it took me a minute, but I actually didn't think it made me that long. And I use a Tom Brady TB12 sports training bands, which is a lot easier on the body. And it's amazing. So I feel we, you know, I would have probably doubled down on that a little earlier, I think. I also would have probably done.

More.

Work on my own trauma that I couldn't really identify then. I think so. We didn't have the language for it. It wasn't in the zeitgeist like it is now. There weren't people talking about it. The subworld of psychedelics wasn't really a thing. So I think there's a bunch of stuff that I probably would have done around that. I've always eaten healthy, I've always done well. I think the other thing I definitely did that, and you can see from the picture, that was a vegetarian vegan, and I was kind of thin, but I had no muscle. Right, right. You know, and I was active, I could run five miles, I could ride my bike 100 miles. I wasn't unfit, but I wasn't strong. I didn't have the kind of muscle mass that I think is so essential to longevity. So the sooner you start building muscle, the better off you are. It's really a key part of longevity. -Yeah.

-This is beautiful, Mark. I appreciate you. Your book, Young Forever, the Secrets to Living youg Longest, Healthiest Life. You guys can get this.

It's got a step-by-step program. -And by the way, the book's not all about relationships and trauma.

Just so you know.

-It'S not about that, but I think.

It'S an important component. -It definitely includes that. -And I love how, you know, I've got a book coming out as well after yours called the Greatness Mindset. And the first section of it is about healing. I think it's really, you know, for me, learning the lessons of healing and how it's set me free as well. I feel like now I can go much higher in every area of life with that was before it was like this. It was like grinding it to get there, you know? And it was harder.

Yeah.

So I think it's all about our beliefs and our healing and the mindset of it first about longevity and about relationships and life and everything. Yeah.

You like You look brighter and happier.

And younger than I see you. I feel good, man. Been a while. Yeah, I've been a little tired. I was on a trip, but yeah.

I feel good in general.

But yeah, it's good to be alive, man. Good to be alive. Every day I'm grateful. There's so much joy.

Peace, love, affection, you know, freedom. It feels incredible. I think it's also key is like living in the moment, like as much as possible. Whatever you're experiencing, you know, whatever you're doing, be in it. Because we've lived so much of our life distracted and disconnected. And so whether you're washing the dishes or making love or working or climbing a mountain, do that thing.

Absolutely. I want people to get your book, Young Forever. Make sure you guys pick up a copy. Where can we go to purchase it?

Everywhere. Go to youngforeverbook.com if you want to learn more and get goodies, come along with the book. Go to Dr. Mark Hyman's social media, @drhyman.com any bookstore, online, offline, you can get the book.

It's exciting. We're gonna throw up a photo as well.

You have to send me that photo.

Of you and 40 days now. We'll put it up on screen for you guys to see the process of this. But this is amazing. Make sure you guys get a copy for your friends as well. Powerful book, powerful information. I want to acknowledge you, Mark, for your transformation. It's incredible because I think healing is one of the hardest things to do, especially healing the wounds of our past, the inner child wound, whatever you want to call it. But especially as men, I feel like it's hard, harder for us to go back and address the things we're most ashamed of or afraid of or insecure of or guilty around or whatever it might be and start doing the work. So for you to do that in your early 60s is really inspiring.

Well, I'm a little slow, but it's.

Inspiring to see that it doesn't matter what age you are, you can do it. You can go back, you can revisit and you can start the healing process in the journey. That's true. It doesn't mean you're a perfect human being and I'm sure you're gonna have challenges and flaws and things like this in the future, but to do that work and give yourself more healing energy for a longer life and a happier life, it's a beautiful thing. So I acknowledge you for that, my friend. It's inspiring. Thank you for the wisdom for what I need to do when I hit 40. It's really doing it right now, but from 40 to 60, Where are you spending the most time on social media these days? And how else can we be of service to you besides getting the book?

You know, I have a great team and we put out tons of content that's free about how to upgrade your life and your biological software. So I think, you know, Instagram and the podcast, Doctors Pharmacy podcast I have, which is, you know, always up there with yours back and forth. It's great to see you doing great. It's great to see you doing great. up there. So it's, I think that's a really beautiful forum for exploring ideas in depth like you do in the podcast here. And I think it's, for me, it's a labor of love because I don't find it work to sit with extraordinary people and learn things that I want to learn and hear, you know, things that expand my mind and in my heart. And it's like, it's the best job in the world.

It's amazing, right? It's so much fun. I love it. Well, final question, what's your definition of greatness?

My definition of greatness is freedom. If you can be free physically, spiritually, emotionally in your community, if you can have a free mind, you know, it's like that Bob Marley song, you know, I can't remember the exact line of it, because I'm bad with lyrics, but it's like only ourselves can free our minds, you know? And it's like we have to free our minds. to free and unlock all this stuff.

Absolutely.

What I'm telling you is not hard. There's some things that are really easy and inexpensive and great to do. There's something a little more advanced. But these things are not difficult and it's step by step and you can follow it. But if your mind's locked up, you're not going to be able to do it. You're going to want that donut.

Exactly, man. That's my challenge. I actually have one more question for you since I've asked you this before. But I feel like you're in a new space in your life with the healing process you've been in. So it's the three truths question. Imagine it's your last day on earth, you live 120. Maybe 150.

I'm not sure. 150. I'm not sure.

You live 120. Exactly. However you want to live, you live that long.

Yeah.

You have the Thanksgiving dinner with all your friends and then you go to sleep and that's your last day.

Yeah, yeah.

But for whatever reason, you got to take all the work you've done with you or go somewhere else. All your books, your podcast, everything you've created for whatever reason Hmm. But you get to leave three lessons behind to that table of people and to the world. What would those three truths be for you?

That's a beautiful question. Uh, I think, I think the, the first one is, you know, learn how to love yourself and to love others really well. I think it's, it seems like it should be obvious and easy thing to do, but it's not. most of us have lack of self-worth and self-love most of us struggle to fully be present and love others. So I think that's really the core of life. I think the second thing is don't wait to do what you want to do in life. Just go for it. Whatever brings you joy, find those things and follow them because that will not only make you live longer but actually make your life way better. And the third is, kind of work on understanding the owner's manual for your body because it's the chassis that you carry around with you to be able to do all the rest of it. So you can't love, you can't serve, you can't do all the things you want to do unless you understand how to care for this human frame that we were all gifted. that has the capacity to have ecstatic, extraordinary experiences, but only if we take care of it. If we're in a fog from eating crap and sitting around watching TV and mind-numbingly scrolling on social media or binge-watching Netflix, we're not going to be living the full human experience. So learn how to elevate your biological software, which is really why I wrote the book, Young Forever, to help people get a roadmap and a very practical step-by-step guide to activating all of their ancient healing systems, their longevity switches, and being able to have the opportunity to be a contribution to the world.

Mark, appreciate you, my man. Thank you so much.

I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me, as well as ad free listening experience. Make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend. Leave us a review over on Apple podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to.

Make the show better.

And if you want more inspiration from our world class guests, and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness Newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com/newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

This is Comedy Bang!

Bang!

The podcast, the promo, and in 30 seconds, I'm gonna tell you why you should check out the show. I, the host Scott Aukerman, have a light-hearted conversation with famous celebrities like John Hamm, Allison Williams, Phoebe Bridgers, Jason Alexander, Natasha Lyonne, Bob Odenkirk, just to name a few. Things go a little off the rails when different eccentric characters and oddballs drop by to be interviewed as well. Each week is a blend of conversations and character work from your favorite comedians, as well as some new hilarious voices. Comedy Bang!

Bang!

The Podcast. Listen every Monday wherever you get your podcasts.

Going up.

Prices keep going up these days. It feels like being on an elevator.

That only goes up.

Going up.

But not at Metro. We're pushing the down button.

Going down.

We'Ve lowered prices. Get one line of 5G data for forty dollars, period. That's 20 lower. And you get a free Samsung 5G phone when you bring your number only at Metro.

Five year guarantee on eligible plans. Exclusions apply. See website for details.

Not available at Metro with T-Mobile in the past six months. Tax supplies.