How To Find Purpose In What You Do, Overcome Insecurities & Destroy Fear In 2022 EP 1210

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Fuel your greatness with Wonderful Pistachios no shells. Wonderful Pistachios is a great source of protein with zero guilt. Each one ounce serving has six grams of protein, giving you over 10% of your daily value. Pistachios are known for their protein power, fiber, and better for you unsaturated fats for a combination that may help keep you feeling Fuller longer. And now there's a new way to snack strong with unsalted no shells holding the salt, not the flavor for a snack that packs a protein punch. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more. This is episode number 1210 all about finding and pursuing your purpose. Welcome to the school of Of greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. My friend, welcome back. As we're coming into the new year, it's an opportunity to reinvent yourself. It's a time where you can take inventory of what parts of your life you love and the other parts that you want to improve upon as you set new goals. And a big part of achieving greatness in your life is to find purpose and meaning and a really meaningful purpose that lights you up, that gets you excited, that makes you want to jump out of bed and what you're doing and how you learn and how you show up as your best self each day and every moment that you possibly can. It's a constant journey, but it's always worth prioritizing and pursuing. So in this episode, we discuss how to find purpose and meaning in your life with my dear friend Jay Shetty, how to not let fear get in the way of your purpose with Lisa Nichols, where suffering comes from and how you can maximize your potential in life with Sadhguru, how to overcome insecurities and build confidence with Priyanka Chopra, and so much more. If you're inspired by this message, please share this with a few friends that you can think would be inspired by this as well. It's all about spreading the message of greatness to more so if you're enjoying this, just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this podcast or you can go right to lewishouse.com/1210 and share that link out. And I want to give a big thanks to the fan of the week. This is from Holi who said, Look forward to listening every week. It's the best content on living up to your optimal potential and so uplifting. Totally fuels my curiosity about things I may have never considered and also things that really matter to me. So big thank you and a shout out to Holi for leaving a review over on Apple podcast and being our fan of the week. Okay, in just a moment, it's time to learn how to find purpose and meaning in your life. 2022 is going to be a big year for a lot of businesses, but some Industries are projected to grow even more this year, like Home Improvement. I see you DIY-ers out there on Tick Tock, the fitness industry, whether it be apps or Studios or the pet service industry with all the furry friends adopted during COVID And if If you work for or own your own business in one of these growing industries or a wide range of other industries, you probably need to hire ASAP. There's only one place to go, ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/greatness. ZipRecruiter uses powerful technology to find and match the right candidates up with your job. Then it proactively presents these candidates to you. And ZipRecruiter's technology is so effective that four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter Get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web address. Ziprecruiter.com/greatness. That's ziprecruiter.com/G-R-E-A-T-N-E-S-S. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. In this first section, number one New York Times bestselling author and former monk, Jay Shetty, shares how to find purpose and meaning in what you do. how to go from what he calls a monkey mind to a monk mind, and how to live more abundantly.

I think it was Albert Einstein who said it best that not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. And I love that because it removes this belief that things are finite and limited, and they're not. If you wanna be happy and successful, No matter that there are 700,000 podcasts, if that is your dharma, if that's your calling, if that's your purpose, like you can do that. There's no cap on how many successful soccer players that can exist at the same time.

Or how many books are out in the world.

There's no cap. There's no one stopping you and that's the mindset that we're educated for that scarcity and greed.

And what's the difference between the monkey mind and the monk mind?

Yeah. I'm glad you brought that up. So the monkey mind is what we experience on a day-to-day basis. The monkey mind is restless. The monkey mind is jumping from branch to branch. The monkey mind is trying to find a bigger banana. The monkey mind is constantly just like feeling flustered, dissatisfied, scarce and overthinking everything. The monk mind is the exact opposite. The monk mind is calm and composed. The monk mind knows to be focused and aware The monk mind knows. So everything in this book and everything that we're talking about is the transformation from the monkey mind that we experience to the monk mind. The monkey mind is almost the enemy to the monk mind. It's the opposite. Yes.

And how does someone who is living in a sense of scarcity? Because there are people living in scarcity where they're unable to pay their bills, they're unable to provide food for their kids, they're single moms, they're They're stressed, they're stressed, they're overwhelmed. It's hard to get into a sense of abundance when you're in scarcity and stress. So how does someone find purpose in chaos when they can't even get out of the thinking because they're just trying to survive?

Yeah, so beautiful question. My biggest answer is first of all, I empathize with anyone who's been in that situation having I can't ever say I've been in that situation in the same way, but I've experienced similar things.

Or I've seen a feeling in your life.

Yes, in my own way and I've seen my mom go through stuff like that. I know that my mom worked really hard to raise me and my sister while working, you know, while running around and I've seen my mom be that incredible powerhouse of a person. And the main thing I would say is what you can do right now is find meaning in what you do. Make what you do you're meaningful, passionate and purposeful. You don't need to suddenly look to become an entrepreneur or start a side hustle or find some more time, find meaning. And the way you find meaning as you genuinely stop, press pause for a second and go, what am I living for? Like, what am I living for right now? And if you're living for your child and if you're living to provide and put food on the table, that is a beautiful thing that we should celebrate more. And sometimes it takes us a moment to stop and celebrate that. And so I would say find meaning, because you can't always find happiness, you can't always find positivity, but you can always find meaning in that position. So I'll give an example, like I lost someone really important to me, a mentor, a few days back. I can't be positive about that. You can't be happy about that.

Yeah, it's hurtful.

You feel sad, you feel lost, but guess what? I can find meaning in it, because I can make a list of every lesson he taught me and make a plan to try and live every one of those lessons.

Wow, that's beautiful.

And so if you're in a really tough situation right now, don't look for positivity, don't look for happiness, look for meaning.

That's a good one. Not trying to get yourself out of pain too quickly or discomfort or frustration, which I've been in a guilt of being like, I'll just be positive or whatever to people, but I think it's like, you know, have your experience, live your experience, and find meaning as quickly as possible. and create a commitment to how you want to use that meaning moving forward. Okay, I may not be great tomorrow, maybe not next week, next month, but I'm going to use this meaning to serve other people, to continue to do what I love, continue to be great to my friends, my family, in the best way possible.

And when you start doing those small things with love and kindness, so much more opens up. It's like when you can be trusted with the small things and the small moments, you get trusted with more and more and more. And so like it helps to just in that moment, and it's in those painful moments that you realize how powerful you are. We all know that. Like you really recognize it. And what you said was beautiful about not rushing through the pain because, and you know, this example has probably been shared before, but if you have a wound and you've cut yourself, it's like you can't rush the healing. You can't rush it. If you broke your arm, I mean, and you've been through so many bodily injuries, You can't rush the process.

It's gonna take six weeks minimum to heal broken bone.

Yeah, minimum. And you've gotta sit through that. It's hard pain. There's no injections you can take, there's no videos you can watch, there's nothing you can listen to. But our challenge is we try and rush through the pain, rather than reflect through the pain. We try to rush the healing process. Try to rush the healing and you can't rush healing and healing is meant to be slow because it buys you time, it buys you reflection, it gives you so much space. To slow down.

To slow down.

And that's what your body's calling out for. And this is our emergency. Like, how many times have you heard it where you slow down, you slow down, and that's when you fall ill. Because guess what? Your body has been trying to tell you to slow down. Slow down. When you feel pain, so I write about it and think like a monk, pain makes you pay attention.

Yeah. That's what pain's for.

Pain's not- Notice this. Notice this. Look at me. Look at me. It's like a crying baby craving for attention. When a baby's crying, you don't just go, oh, I was crying. You don't just go, oh yeah, we'll just put it in another room and forget about it, right? Like you go to it and you find its needs. Whereas with our pain, when something's painful, we're just like, oh yeah, I'll just forget about it. I'll escape from it. I'll do something else. You have to go into that pain.

I'll numb the pain. I'll numb the pain. That's it.

Whatever. 100%. That's usually our response is what can I do to numb this? Work more, have sex more, drink more, whatever.

Whatever it is. Rather than let me actually become alert and guess what? The pain just gets higher and higher.

And higher and higher because unfortunately, until.

It really hurts, we don't stop. -Or you need more and more to numb it with. -So true. -And so you go on to the extremes of life, right? -So true. -Now, what's been the most painful thing you've had to experience since... Because I know leaving the monkhood was painful for you because this was a mission of yours that you wanted to have for your whole life. And I think you were there for 3 and a half years. So, what's been the most painful thing I guess in the last 6 or 7 years since that time that you've had to reflect back on, take notice of, pay attention to, and reevaluate.

That's a great question. I think for me it was in 2016 I moved out to New York. So just let me paint a picture of 2016. I moved three jobs. I got married. I moved country. And I just started a whole new life. Like my life just transformed. So we went through all of that with my wife in one year. And by the way, all of that was surprises. The job change was surprises. The country change was a surprise. The marriage was not a surprise. We planned that. But apart from everything else, everything was a surprise. Now I said I like surprises so I can roll with it, but my point is that's a lot of transition in a year.

So much transition.

And I felt the burden of being in a new city where we had no family, we had no friends, and my wife who loves being around her family and no one understands just how how close she is to them, I felt this burden on me that I had taken away her time with her family and now she was alone. So I was going out to work and she'd be crying at home. And I was thinking, she's got no friends, she's got no support. And I know you can relate to this with moving and relationships and so much going on. And so it's like, I'm dealing with that and guess what, six months later, I have to leave and move on and work on a new career to build everything myself and then I'm four months away from being broke. And so on top of all of this, I've now got four months away from being broke. I've got enough money saved for four months to pay for rent and groceries in New York City. In New York City. And that's it. And guess what? Even on top of that, I've got 30 days before my visa runs out and I'm kicked out of the country. So I can't even live here anymore. So not only have I just got married, moved job three times, changed career again, had to move into a four-month apartment, four months of being broke, and I might get kicked out in 30 days, and my renewal for my visa cost $15,000. So that's gonna eat into those four months. I have probably never been under that much emotional, physical and mental pressure in my life. Like genuinely, I felt it. And I felt my body change. My breath was more stressed. I would be breathing faster, shorter breaths, not deep breaths, heart beating faster, not working out, you get into lazy habits, you start start craving junk food. Sugar, do you have energy? I'm living in a 500 square foot apartment with my wife, which is tiny. Everything's in that space. And guess what? We both work from home. So I'm now sitting at a desk, hunched over, trying to figure stuff out. She's trying to cook in the same room. I'm trying to figure out what to do. And I remember the next morning sending like 100 emails to people and just being like, this is who I am. This is what I can do. How can we serve? And that was the same year that I ended up meeting you later in that year. And the beginning three months of that journey was so stressful. Like, they were so stressful because I was like, what if I have to move back to London? What am I going to say to her parents? I mean, I just took their daughter away. Like, I just got married. I've lived in New York City for six months and my life's falling apart. Like, you know, so much. And I've got all these views, but there's nothing happening. We met.

You also, I mean, at this time, growing so much? How are you able to create and reach this impact with your videos as that's growing while you're under so much stress and uncertainty? And I stopped a bit at that time.

Like things slowed down. I remember. Like things slowed down. I remember that. I wasn't creating as much as I was because I don't enjoy creating from stress or pressure and I don't think you can really create something from stress and pressure. So we really slowed down at that time. And when I was creating, I was creating from a place of recognizing that I could share what I had learned and what I had grown in so far. So anything I was sharing was like, this is what I've learned so far. So that was the biggest pain that I've been through in the last seven years for sure. And all I can say is that I remember coming home to my wife knowing that this was gonna be the truth. And I came home and I said to her, I guarantee you this is gonna be the best thing that ever happened to us.

What? The pain?

The pain. I said that to the night I came home and she gave me a hug. I literally came home, I looked her in the eyes and go, this is the scenario. and I just want you to know that I guarantee to you this is the best thing that's ever gonna happen to us. And I said to her, and this is a monk statement that we used to repeat, I said to her, I'm just not gonna judge the moment. Don't judge the moment because what we do is we try to label moments as good or bad. And when you label a moment as bad, it now does not have the opportunity to become good. I'll give an example. If I go, I don't like this book, this book's bad, right? And I don't, and I love this book. But if I say that, guess what, I will never pick it up and recognize the value that's inside of it because you've labeled it. And we label stuff, like we label, oh, that restaurant's bad. But when you label a moment, that person's bad. Now you can't learn from that person. Oh, great one, that's a really good one. As soon as you start labeling people or anything as good or bad, you limit it. You stop it from being something else. And here's the truth, every moment can evolve into being anything if you give it the opportunity to.

Right.

But as soon as you say it's got no value anymore, you lose it. And so for me, I had to say to myself, Don't judge the moment. And I'd keep repeating that to myself. Don't judge where you're at. Don't judge what's happening. Yeah, don't judge it as negative. Don't just start saying it's negative. Because guess what? We've all been in positions where a.

Gift turned into a curse and a curse turned into a gift.

That's true.

Right?

We've all seen that. Where our dreams came true and it.

Ended up not being what we wanted. Exactly.

It fell apart and it led us into our dreams. Totally.

Why is it that so many people that win the lottery go broke? Gifts can turn into curses too. But because we label them as the best moment in our life or the worst moment in our life. Whereas when you approach things to neutrality and just what you have on the.

Table, you can be like, okay, what am I gonna do next? That's why the greatest quarterbacks are neutral energy. They'll get a little excited, they'll get a little fist pump in there every now and then, but they're not hyped every play and they're not negative every play. They have this calm, they see the field, they're you drop a pass and it's like a little bit let's go, but it's very neutral. Even when you score a touchdown, unless it's maybe the Super Bowl or a big championship at the end of a game, in the middle of the game, you want to keep it pretty like even keel paced so you can prepare.

For the best or the worst.

That's great. Yeah. But they're always up and down. It's like your energy levels will go up and down and you'll be a exhausted. You need to have energy in life.

-Totally.

-And if everything is tied around a story of this is bad, this is wrong, I'm in a bad place, I'm messing up, I'm going broke. That energy is going to pull you away from service. -Exactly. -Or creation or creativity of how do.

I get out of this place? So, I think it's really important. -I love that. And I used to have a coach and I think a lot of coaches use this or at least he used to say to us, he would be like, if you lose, cry for a day. And if you celebrate, if you win, celebrate for a day.

Yeah, see it.

And then move on the next day, get back to training.

Don't let it rot.

Don't live in the past. Don't live in the past. And what we do is when we lose, we cry for a month. And when we win, we just move on.

Yeah.

Which means that our negative experiences hold us back and weigh us down more than our positive experiences. So we're actually allowing, because we don't immerse ourselves in winning and growth, We only submerge ourselves in negative experiences.

Yeah, we need to celebrate also. We try to celebrate. I've been, you know, that's been part of my life as well, is like moving on too quick and now we try to like, let's enjoy, let's go to lunch or dinner and really like appreciate this moment and celebrate this moment and even have a dinner with some friends and family.

Otherwise, what are we working so hard for? 100% and we almost feel like we can't, we can't do that because that makes us complacent. Right. -But that's my point.

-Never good enough.

-Exactly. But if you win, celebrate for a day.

If you lose, cry for a day, move on. Simple. -And you've learned so many lessons over your years. As a monk, you learned a ton of lessons. Moving to, you know, getting married, moving into a new country, building companies, launching products and books and you've had ups and downs. What's been the biggest lesson in the last 12 months for you? Because you've learned, you've created so much in the last 12 months. done so many things, what's been the biggest lesson for you in your life?

Oh, that's a big question. I think I'd have to say that it's a, and I was saying it to a friend on the phone this morning when I was on the way to you, and I was just sharing it with him because he was having a moment in recognizing this. There's a wonderful verse in the Manu Smriti, which I talk about in Think Like A Monk. It's a monk book. And in the verse it says, When you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you. Now, I want to unpack that. What I mean by that is your purpose is like a rare jewel and a rare gemstone. And imagine you were walking around with the most expensive diamond or jewel in the world. How would you protect it?

You wanna just like- you- wanna just wave it out yeah?

Yeah, you wanna just wear it on your chest?

Like this. Holding it. Yeah. Putting a pillow around a blanket, you'd be like, yeah, protect it.

You'd protect it. And so your purpose is like that, and guess what? People are gonna tell you every day that that jewel is not worth anything. They're gonna tell you that that jewel is actually valueless. It doesn't have any impact on your life. They're gonna try and take away that value. They're gonna tell you that there's another jewel out there that you need to have more value. and what ends up happening is you don't, I love the word, look at the wording, protect your purpose. You have to protect it. So what happens is your success grows, you get more opportunities, more ideas, more things coming your way, temptations, but they can all take you away from your purpose.

Distractions, yeah.

Distractions. And to me, I'm repeating this for myself because I'm like, I just want to stick to what I was born to do, and I'm so grateful that I get to do it. I'm so happy I get to do it, and I want to protecting it.

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You know, you don't want to just get chucked in the waves of the ocean and just get lost and just not know where you're going. So for me, when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you.

So that's been your biggest lesson? That's my biggest lesson. Why do you feel like your purpose has been maybe distracted in some way?

I don't think it has, but I'm saying it so it doesn't. You're reminding yourself.

I'm reminding myself, like I'm preaching to myself right now.

Especially being in Hollywood and the temptation of all these opportunities out here. Totally, and I think for me it's a bigger lesson also because it gives me more faith. So I always encourage, and this is actually, actually this is why it's my biggest lesson, I encourage so many people that I coach, so many people that I mentor, obviously everyone in my community and audience and everything, to go and follow that, go and live that purpose. And I see time and time again that when I see people trying to live their purpose, they are protected. That things work. When you're playing in your dharma and your purpose, things work. Things move. You feel momentum. They happen. And I'm not saying they happen without effort, but they happen. They move. Whereas when you're not, you just constantly feel like you're grinding up against You know, a war.

I know. Challenges.

Just constant.

So, what is your purpose and when did you discover it?

Good question. My purpose is simple. It's always has been since, not since the beginning because I discovered it afterwards. My purpose is making wisdom go viral. And I've stuck with that and I've kept it that way because to me, and there's more to it, making wisdom go viral through entertainment, I would say, is my purpose because I believe that that is something that is uniquely my goal, impact and service. And the beautiful thing is I'm not limited to a platform. So that could be books, it can be podcasts, it can be TV shows, it can be movies. It's not limited. And this I learned by reading. I was reading after, and this was after my video started to, to get seen. This wasn't before I did it. It wasn't like I sat down and I wrote this fancy tagline. I was reading Salim Ismail's book called exponential organization. and in this book he talks about something called an MTP, a massive transformational purpose. And he says that every major person organization in the world has an MTP. So an MTP has to be aspirational, it has to be massive, and it has to be service and purpose based. So Google's is organizing the world's information. Notice it doesn't say we're an SEO company. Notice it doesn't say we do Google ads.

Right.

They're organizing the world's information. That's how big they're dreaming. And when you're organizing the world's information, you can do driverless cars, you can do Google Glass, you can sell Google ads, whatever it is. And so Ted's is ideas worth spreading. That's what they are, that's what they're about.

So Jay Shetty is making wisdom go viral. That's what I'm dedicated to.

So when did you discover it? Because it wasn't when you were 10. It wasn't when you were 21 and college. I say I was, probably two, three years ago. I'm 32 now, so I'd say like two, three years ago is when I discovered.

30 years old is when you discovered your purpose.

Correct.

So what was your purpose before that?

My purpose before that was finding my purpose. It's like that process of just like, my purpose before that was 14 years. So I've been online for four years. I've spent 10 years offline talking about the same stuff, sharing the same messages in talks, in universities, in small seminars, in coaching and mentoring. Like, I've been doing the same thing for 14 years, but I didn't realize it was my purpose until very recently. But I just did what I enjoyed and naturally tried to get better at it.

-So, if we don't know what our purpose is and we're working towards finding our purpose, it's okay.

-That'S actually where you're going to spend.

Most of your life.

-Discovering what your purpose is.

-Totally. And that's the best bit.

-I think a lot of people are like, well, I don't know what my purpose is. Totally. How do I just find it? The pressure of finding your purpose will stop you from finding your purpose. Literally, the pressure is so heavy. And that's why it's not about finding that. It's just starting with the basics. What am I good at? And I talk about it and I break down Dharma in here and I talk about what are your passion? What is your expertise? What is your compassion? Because that's really important. What is your compassion for the world? Like, what problem do you want to solve? I often, people will say there's so many things I could do. There's so many things that I'm like, my question is not what causes you the greatest joy. Sometimes my question is what causes you the greatest pain? Make that your purpose. Make that your purpose. If you don't know what your joy is, you definitely know what your pain is. What do you not like in the world? What do you not like? And so for me. Go serve that thing. 100%. So for me, the greatest pain I see in the world is people not reaching their potential. That causes me more pain because I believe that there is someone out there who is stacking shelves, who has the cure to cancer. There is someone out there who's a talented singer. Or who's a talented singer. There is someone out there who's not living to their potential and I think we're better people, we're better partners and we're better parents when we live to our potential. So that's what I'm trying to solve.

And I'm not saying that's the biggest thing. Sure. I'm saying it's my thing. Whenever I work with people, I'm always.

Telling them to find your purpose, focus.

On what you're most passionate about or what you have the most pain around. There you go. There you go. It's like, do the thing you love the most. Totally. Keep doing it until you either discover that's it or maybe I don't love that anymore. Like I played so many sports growing up, I used to love baseball. I used to love soccer. And then I got bored with it. I got burnt out by it. It wasn't a love of mine anymore. It wasn't a passion. And then I switched to football. And it was like, oh, this is a passion. And I'm actually more gifted physically for this sport than I would be for soccer. I was too big for soccer. I couldn't run seven miles a day right now on the field. But I think you need to try lots of things and you might think it's a passion, but you might get burnt out and discover, eh, I don't love it anymore. What else is there? And keep trying new things. So you said eight new things a month.

Yeah.

Till you discover. Till you discover. You might take you to take a 30, 40, 50. Right.

It doesn't. And that doesn't matter. Like, it doesn't matter. Like it. The fun is in the growth and the journey and the, like, for me, the 10 years before this happened and my life changed. It was like, those were fun. I was happy. I wasn't unhappy because of that.

Because I didn't know the exact person.

Correct. Yeah, exactly. And now I'm very clear on it and I'm happy for it to evolve too. Like, I don't think it has to stay the same. I may sit with you in two years time and tell you something completely different.

Right.

And I'm okay with that. But I can only work with what I have now. And I think we start trying to postpone our purpose or find a date by which you have to... You put a deadline on your purpose? It doesn't make any sense. Like, if you really care about it, how can you put a deadline on it?

I know.

You just keep moving towards it.

In this section, motivational speaker and bestselling author Lisa Nichols talks about how to not let fear get in the way of your purpose. I'm a big believer in attacking your fears head on because they can truly hold you back which one is more valuable if you could only choose one? Negative thoughts, but positive words? Positive thoughts, but negative words? Or do they both need to be in alignment towards your mission and purpose?

Well.

So I'll start with this. Your life is a physical manifestation of the conversation going on in your head. I'm gonna start with that.

Can we just speak for like 24 hours on this? I love this. Right.

Your life is a physical manifestation of the conversation going on in your head. So if you said nothing but thought everything, your life is going to show up to make your thoughts true. So you have one job. You have one job in your life for you to make what you think about life true, so that you're not wrong. You don't want to walk around wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. You want to be right about the life you see. So you're going to work hard, work hard to produce the life that you talk about in your mind. Whether that life is no one loves me, I'm all alone. You can be in a group of people and you will think, I'm so alone. And you will feel alone and things will show up to co-sign your loneliness just because you're looking for that. And so if you start with, I'm gonna say the mind, like the mind is that thing. The mind is the core engine. It starts all things. It shuts all things down. When I start thinking something different, I'm like, hold on, stop. I want to think something. I shut down that behavior. I shut down that outcome. When I birth something, I birth it in my mind. I focus on my mind. I see myself there in my mind. Before I got on with you, I was doing guided visualizations. I'm recording them. So people, and I, I mean, they're juicy, and I'm saying, see yourself here, because if you can see it, and then the, the key is evoke the emotion as if you were there.

Yeah.

Right. And that's why people are, who are sad all the time are sad because they're thinking of things that make them sad. And then the emotion follows the thought. So I'm gonna say everything starts with your thought, Louis. But let me just say this. When you speak, you speak your future into the world. You speak your feet. Whatever you say, whatever falls off your tongue, when, when you say, I am, Right? The unconscious mind says, and you are so whatever comes on the other side of that. And so you ask me a hard question, which one is most important? It starts with the thought. I think the thought is that that's where everything originates. And then you add a whole lot of turbo boost to it with your tongue.

Yeah.

When you align the two, and then you add to it, like the B12. the B12 of action. Action is like, action is like, that's the nitro. That's the nitro. Like, right. And I see so many people, they think it, they write it, they Journal it, they talk about it, and they do no action. And I go, you understand that the action is that. That's like, that's like putting the flower in the sun because it requires sun. And so.

Yeah, yeah, I had, this is a beautiful explanation. And I had a Navy seal on. I don't know, six, seven months ago, his name's Chad, and he talked about as a SEAL, he used the tongue as a rudder in a boat. He said, what you speak is going to lead you down, you know, the ocean or the river or wherever on the boat you're on. And so he never says anything negative out loud because it's so powerful in the Navy SEALs. You talk about how powerful it is, no matter how much pain they're experiencing in Hell Week and all this stuff they're dealing with, They never allow the tongue to speak something negative. Otherwise, they'll ultimately quit and give up. Right, right, right, right, right. It's too painful to deal with what they deal with. Right. To then say, oh, I'm hurting, I'm.

Tired, I can't do it. Right, right, don't speak that. Don't speak that into the universe. Because whatever you speak feels like it expands. Of course. Energy grows where energy goes. It expands. So speak life, speak possibility. There is not one dark situation that doesn't have a glimmer of light. It doesn't mean it's going to be convenient to see.

That's true.

And most of us are looking for convenient light.

Yes. Oh man, I want to speak for like five more hours with you, but I want to try to finish with a few final questions here. Yes. Even though I don't want to finish this. We'll have to come back on. Yeah, we'll bring it back on.

Let's do this again. I promise it won't be as challenging to get me in the future. I promise, my friend.

I want to talk about, for a moment, purpose, because I feel like right now we're seeing a lot of people with scattered purposes, especially with everything that's happening in the world over the last three months, six months. I'm seeing so many big influencers go through divorce who are publicly had great relationships. I'm seeing people's businesses go under because of they were in the events business or whatever, and they weren't able to adapt and shift. I'm seeing people scattered. with their purpose and unclear. Right. How can people... Let's speak to this because I think it's two different questions. One is how to truly figure out what your purpose is because I think it's seasonal. You know, what your purpose was when you were 10 is different now.

I agree.

It's seasonal so it's hard for... it's a very broad question and I don't want to set you up with that because I think it's unfair when people ask you that for me. But if you know, if you think I know what my purpose is, like I know I'm meant to go do this thing. I think I'm supposed to go after this. I feel like maybe I should try this thing, but I'm afraid. How would you coach someone who knows what they're supposed to do? Or at least they think they do until they figure it out and it's not it or it is it? How do you coach people or encourage people to actually do it? To actually overcome that final hurdle of fear, whether they're afraid of failure, afraid of success, afraid of judgment, whether they've got a really good life and a really good job, but it's just not their It's not pulling them to their ultimate purpose. Where do you share in that line?

So one of the first things I do is I ask them to please let's quantify and give life to what does it cost you to stay still?

Oh.

So, you know, I'm a straight no chaser kind of girl, right? We're not just going towards something. We also have to realize that To the same degree that you asked the weight loss, why did I do it? Because what would it cost me with all my success? What would it have cost me to stay in that 220-pound body? What's the cost? And so when I saw that, that's why I responded. If I didn't give myself this, right, I was very clear with the cost. So number one, I would say, what does it cost you? And my students know me. I do this in my workshop, my trainings for my platinum level students and my coaches. and students that are getting certified to be a Lisa Nichols trainer. And I ask them hard questions. What does it cost you to stay in that mindset? And they have to list it. And I say, what part of the price have you already paid? And they just give visceral. They're like, ah. And I say, so how long?

I don't know.

Whatever you want. How much longer do you want to pay that price?

Right. Two years, 10 years, two months.

Are we PIF? Are we paid in full now?

Are we PIF?

I paid in full and I'm keep paying.

Exactly. And so I use this metaphor that.

If you went to the store and bought a dozen eggs and you went home and you scrambled all the eggs and you cook the eggs and then you took the empty carton back to the grocery store and you said, I'd like to buy these again. The cashier will go, but you already bought them. Why are you buying it? Why are you paying for it again? That's what we're doing. We're paying for the same behavior over and over again. And so one, Get clear that you're PIF, that you're paid in full for not being in action. Like, I've already paid it. I've done three years of wanting a dream and not having whatever your reasons are, right? Number two is let's talk about everything that happens if you fail. Let's just unpack that.

You go back to where you're at now.

Yeah, you'll-- actually, you never are back to where you are now because now you got some kind of lesson that you didn't have.

Experience. Yeah.

Right, you got some kind of experience. So what happens if you fail? Okay, great. So what lessons can we pull out of that? So now let's agree to if we fail, let's fail forward. So then let's define what does failing forward look like? So then we get very descriptive on what does failing forward look like? What will I do with the lessons? What will I, I'll document four to six things I did right. And I'll document two to three things that I can improve upon and I'll implement them all on the next go round. So then we take out all the possibility and I didn't go as far as saying, so what if people judge you? I unpack it. What do people judge you? Let's say they, like, they talk really bad about you on social media for, like, a three days. Like, it goes a while. Well, then what happens? Well, on the sixth day, I get up and do it again. So all of a sudden, I take all the, all the juice out of the, out of the, out of the balloon of all. We just deep dive into the darkness of your Illusions. Deep dive into the darkness of your mind. So, like, what? okay, well, I'll lose this money. Okay, you lost how much? 40,000. Okay, all 40,000 gone. So now what? I don't know. Okay, well, let's figure out a plan. Because you already lost the money. We lost the money. Let's, let's, now I can start saving again. I can do whatever. Okay, great. So then all these big possibilities are now just situations. Then I go to, so what can we do to eliminate the possibility of that occurring? so now we go into strategy. So I'm real big on strategy. I'm real big on milestones. I believe that you should not set a macro goal without setting several micro goals. So I live in micro goals. Like my number that I want to generate this year, I don't ever look at that after November of the year prior. After November 2019, I don't really look at it. I look at every monthly goal because that's my milestone. I know that goal and I know that goal is tied into my annual goal. So I don't have to worry about it. So I'm seeing if I'm on track, all track, all track, because I can handle that. That's palatable, right? So then a lot of times entrepreneurs set like big bodacious goals and you have a release of endorphins when you first set it, but then it goes away because you don't even know how you're going to get there.

Yeah.

And so I'm real big on my, like just on my campus, I'm real big on three things: a strategy, right? Milestones and accountability. by when dates, by when, by who, right? And so make it doable, make it so you can see it, set it up in 90 days. And so I think that purpose comes with a plan. And oftentimes we leave purpose so big and so ambiguous that it feels difficult to touch. And so if you're supposed to inspire millions, okay, great. so for August, how many are you gonna touch toward that million? We're gonna get to millions, we're gonna get to million. But are we touching 5,000? Are we touching 50,000? And then by November, did you grow your social media platform by 3% or by 30%? Like less something trackable and measurable so that you can see that purpose being fulfilled so you can trust your picker. So many of us haven't had enough indicators haven't had enough evidence that we've done it the way we thought we would do it or better, that now you're starting to pull back on trusting your picker. Well, you need evidence. If the court of law sends a man to prison because of evidence or lets a woman walk because of lack of evidence, then why not use evidence in your life that you're ready for such a time as this? But you have to set it up in such a way where you can see the trackable evidence.

What do we say to ourselves when we don't do self-care? What are we saying about how much we are worth to ourselves when we don't, when we delay that for months and years of taking care of ourselves?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not important enough to put at the front of my own line. You always are going to have a line of people to serve, things to do. and you got one job to stand at the front of your own line. You're saying that you're training other people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. And so you are saying, you're saying that I still need to heal in the area of feeling important enough to prioritize my self-care.

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You also may be saying and can be saying, I still need to learn how to fall in love with myself enough to take care of me, the way I take care of others. And that's so many people. You take care of those around you far better than you take care of yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. In this section, Visionary and Yogi sad Guru shares where suffering comes from in most people's lives, what we can do about it, and how we can maximize the opportunity that we have while being alive. I love the fact that you are a symbol of childlike energy in the world.

Fun, play and why aren't adults fun? What happened to them?

Exactly. I love that. I mean, adults as you know get caught up in a lot of things that aren't their true nature. And why is that? Why is that do you think that we forget how to play and think like a child when we grow up?

See, people have forgotten that in this vast cosmos where we don't know where is the beginning, where is the end, in the middle of nowhere on a tiny little mud ball called Earth, you and me are sitting long distance and talking right now, okay? So, and for the kind of creatures we are, we are not even a speck of dust in this universe.

Universe.

But we have an individual experience. This is the magnanimity of creation that it's given as an individual experience though we are nothing. Tomorrow if the whole humanity operates, nobody will miss us in this cosmos, that's how small we are. But we have an individual experience. So this individual experience, human beings have taken it rather too seriously as if they are the beginning and end of the world.

The center of the world, yeah.

Yes, they thought they are the center of the universe. So this misunderstanding makes them believe as they grow up or as they degenerate, I would say. They don't really grow up because at the age of five, if you are so joyful and energetic, by the time you are thirty, you should be ecstatic and bursting. But if the reverse has happened, this is degeneration. of life. So this degeneration happens because people take their individual existence rather too seriously. They don't understand before you and me came here, countless number of people who thought they were smart and they were strong and they were beautiful and they were wonderful, they are all topsoil now. Countless number of people and you and me also will be one day unless our friends to... our friends choose to bury us really deep fearing that we may raise from the dead or something. So we have taken our individual existence too seriously. Because of this, life has taken a backseat. Our physical structure has taken front seat, our psychological structures have, you know, gone to the stratosphere, but the life that we are is somewhere which is not even in most people's experience. So, this is the whole problem. When you are a child, you are just a piece of life, slowly you took your personality so seriously, you took your boundaries of your form so seriously that you think this is it. So, till death knocks on their door, they don't realize that this is not it.

People talk about suffering a lot. When I went to India to study meditation for my brief time on my beginner mind of meditation, I was told that suffering is the obsessive self-centric thinking that we have about ourselves, the obsessive self-centric thinking. And when we focus on ourselves, then we suffer. I don't know how accurate that is in your, in your mind or your, or in your practice and philosophy, but what, what is suffering and why do we have it so much?

See, there are two faculties in a human being which are unique to human beings only. No other creatures have these faculties. This is a very vivid sense of memory and a fantastic sense of imagination. So what is it that human beings are suffering just check out with any suffering human being, they are suffering what happened five years ago, ten years ago, ten years ago or they're suffering what may happen day after tomorrow already. So essentially they're suffering their memory and their imagination. Rarely they are in life, they are just suffering these two fantastic faculties which make us human. Our life is rich only because our memory is so vivid. Otherwise we would also be like an earthworm. Essentially what they're complaining is, they're complaining why did nature evolve us into this fantastic place of being human being, we would have been happy being earthworms, because our only intention is to be eco-friendly right now. Earthworms are very eco-friendly, they are very peaceful, but the possibility is only that much. With the possibility, human being is a tremendous possibility. If you do not know how to harness this possibility, every possibility will become a problem. That's all that's happened. If you do not harness your faculties the way you should, then it becomes a problem. How come this has happened to us? Charles Darwin said something like this, I am simplifying it, oversimplifying it. But something like this, a goat could have become a giraffe over a million year time. A pig could have become an elephant over many more a million years. But a monkey became a man rather too quickly. So quickly that anthropologists are looking for a missing link which they have not found. Actual difference... the DNA difference between a chimpanzee and a human being is only 1.23%. 1.23% is not too much of a difference, isn't it? So physiologically, physiologically that's how close we are to a chimpanzee. But in terms of our intelligence and awareness, we are worlds apart from a chimpanzee. So right now what human beings are suffering is their own intelligence. You remove half their brain, they will be very peaceful. No meditation will be needed for them, they will simply sit.

Just be, yeah, exactly.

Just be, because that's what the whole American spirituality is just talking about, just be, just be. If you remove half the brain, you'll just be. That's what a whole lot of people are trying to do by soaking their brains in alcohol, maybe they're preserving it for some other place or drugging themselves out, they're just being, all right? That is not the way to explore human possibility. If human possibility has to be explored, all our faculties must be full on and we must see how to further enhance them because the profoundness of experience comes to you only with sharpness of perception. You cannot dull your perception and think you are having a profound experience.

So how do we... Sorry, go ahead.

Please, please tell.

You know, so how do we maximize or expand our perception?

See, it's like this. Because as human beings, we knew that only enhancement of our perception, our life will become better. We wanted to see what is up there, our eyes could not see, so we made a telescope. We want to see the virus, so we made a microscope. We want to hear what is happening somewhere else, so we made a telephone, we made a microphone. microphone, see you and me talking, literally twelve hours across the planet, all right? Why all these technologies we made? We want to enhance our perception, isn't it?

Yeah.

So right now, this is a bunch of youth, you know, all... all these youth events below twenty-five events, I get invited because they think I'm twenty-five.

You have... you have the mind... you have the curiosity of a child, that's why they bring you.

So they were asking me, Sadhguru, you have so much influence in the government, why can't you make marijuana legal for us? So this is over ten, fifteen thousand people in Bangalore city and it's a open air thing, I can smell the smoke. They all gathered and they sang, why don't you make it legal for us? I said, why this marijuana? We will make cocaine also legal, meth also legal, whatever else you name it, I will make all that legal for you. But why do you want it wanted this to be legal? Because you want to smoke dope and go to the university, isn't it? Yes, they said, why not? We are fine with that. I said, See, we'll do one thing, I'll get you a small plane and the pilot comes, really smoked up. Do you want to fly with him? Ah, like this. When I said, you,'re not getting it, you need a major surgery, the surgeon comes really smoked up. You want the surgery, they said, no. So you understand by smoking these things or drinking these things, whatever, your faculties go down. Lowered faculties will mean less efficiency of life not only in terms of work, in terms of experience also. It means less life. So, you want to be high, but you are going low and you're thinking you're high. If you want to be high, you come to me, I will show you how to tune up all your faculties to such a level that you will be bright and alert all the time, joyful, blissful, Ecstatic, look at my eyes, I am always stoned without any substance. Right. Because this is the most complex and sophisticated chemical factory on the planet. The question is only, are you a great CEO or a lousy CEO? That's all determines the nature of your experience. So I don't want to give a philosophical explanation to human suffering. Human suffering is essentially that they have an intelligence for which they don't have a stable enough platform. So they don't know how to handle their own intelligence. You can call it tension, stress, anxiety, misery, whatever. Essentially, your intelligence has turned against you, that is all it is.

When we have emotions, thoughts, feelings, emotions of anger, resentment from something that happened in the past, upset that we see on social media, frustrations in the world. Where should we be redirecting these thoughts, feelings and emotions? Should we be feeling them and allowing ourselves to go with anger until it stops? Should we be guarding our thoughts with the reverse of that? What's your ideas on thoughts and feeling and emotions.

You must punch a window pane or a wall better. A stone wall is good.

You feel the boy, yeah, exactly.

Because that is the model that the Hollywood and the television shows, everything is setting up. When you get angry, you break something, all right?

Exactly.

So, see, first of all, people are assuming that Anger is happening to them or misery is happening to them. No, this is exactly what I said earlier, maybe I didn't articulate it fully. No, you are creating anger, you are creating misery, you are creating joy, you are creating whatever. All this is happening from within you. Is it true all human experience is happening from within us?

It's... yeah, because we perceive something and.

Then we... Something else may stimulate. But human experience is happening from within us, isn't it? Whether it's love or hate or anger or misery or joy or anything is only happening from within us. The simple question I am asking is, what happens from within you? Should it happen your way or somebody else's way?

It should happen your way.

Of course, because the world will never happen your way 100%. Because there are so many stakeholders in the world, little bit will happen my way, little bit your way, that is fine. But what happens within me must happen my way. If what happens within me does not happen my way, this is the worst form of slavery, isn't it?

Wow.

Somebody decides what happens within me, somebody decides where I should sit, this is slavery, everybody understands this. Now somebody decides whether I am happy or unhappy, Isn't this the worst form of slavery?

Yeah.

So this is the liberation that humanity needs to work at. This is what inner engineering means. Inner engineering is not some mechanical process because engineering means this essentially. You will say something is well engineered only if it works the way you want, isn't it? If this one doesn't work the way you want, what the hell are you expecting other things to work the way you want? It's just an accident. When you live accidentally, anxiety is normal.

Yes, it's every day. But when you're living on purpose and intentionally and mindfully, you should be able to shift out of that.

No, no, no, no. I wouldn't use those words.

Okay, what words would you use?

When you say purpose, intention, mindful, See, this is the whole problem with people, their mind is full all the time.

Right.

My mind is just empty all the time, nothing happening, nothing. That's why I wear a turban just to make it substantial. There's nothing in my head. If I'm walking there, I'm just walking, nothing happens. Because see, right now, Your hands are there. Suppose your one hand starts jumping like this. Or if let's say my hand starts jumping like this, what will you think? You think Sadhguru has some kind of a...?

I just... I don't know. That's the way intelligent people do things, you know?

No, no. Suppose my hand starts jumping like that, you will think there is some ailment, isn't it? You will think I am... Maybe Mr. Parkinson's is visiting me or something like that.

Sure.

So, your mind is jumping all over the place. Why is that not ailment, I am asking? Your only comfort is other people cannot see it, isn't it?

Yeah, I guess they see it through the manifestation of you being anxious or tense or stressed or angry or...

Whether they see it or not, they see it or not. Any part of you is simply jumping without purpose. Is that an ailment I'm asking?

If any part of you is jumping without purpose, is it an ailment? Well, I think in your inner engineering course, you talk about how we have certain faculties that we can't control, like going to the bathroom and doing certain things that are part of our body.

So, yeah, but I don't know if.

That'S a trick question.

No, no, the pee is just filling up in the bladder. It's not jumping all over the place.

Gotcha, gotcha.

If it jumps all over the place, that is an ailment.

That's an ailment, yes, correct.

Right now, suppose let me take a worse example. Suppose your hand starts beating you in the face.

That's an ailment, yes.

For sure. So right now your thoughts and emotions are beating you up from inside. Why is that not an ailment, I am saying?

No it is.

So let us not think anger happens to us, resentment happens to us. no, these things we are creating. We have the power to emote. We can make it love, we can make it joy, we can make it ecstasy, but people have chosen to make it tension, anger, resentment, hatred, they have turned it that way. Now they will claim this is because life has been unfair to me. Life has not been fair to anybody. Especially not me. Life is not fair to anybody. Life is simply rolling. It's for you to learn to ride it. Sometimes we are in uncomfortable situations, sometimes we are in comfortable situations, sometimes we are in situations where we know exactly what to do, and sometimes we are in situations where we don't know what to do, sometimes somebody else is controlling the situation, sometimes you are controlling the situation. This is how life is. If you are constantly stepping into unfamiliar situations in your life, that means you are growing at a rapid pace. If you are in constantly in comfortable situations, that means you are a stagnant life.

Hmm.

So if you... if you look for comfort, if you look for a comfort zone, because the moment your thoughts and emotions are going to torment you with external stimulant, external stimulation that happens, what will you choose? You will choose a comfort zone. This means you will limit your life. So the moment somebody can cause you pain or suffering, this means unknowingly you will make the very scope of your life very limited. Only when a person loses this fear of suffering that no matter what happens, this is how I will be. If this assurance comes to you, then you walk full stride because whatever happens in the life around you, it will not really make you suffer. Once you are free from suffering, only when you are free from suffering, when you are free from the fear of suffering, that is when you will explore your life in full depth and dimension.

How do we rid ourselves of the fear of suffering then?

See, as I told you, the suffering is happening because your faculties are not held in your hands. If I have to go to this in little detail, I will have to take a few minutes. See, for example, if I ask you a simple question, Do you want your intellect to be sharp or blunt? What is your choice?

Sharp.

Sharp, of course. So you understand, your intellect is The better... the sharper it is, the better it is. It's like a knife. So if it's like a knife, it's a cutting instrument. So if you give anything to your intellect, it will dissect everything and see. This is the nature of our intellect. You don't have to physically dissect, but it dissects everything and sees, what is this, what is that? This is the nature of the intellect. Without dissection, it doesn't know because it is a knife, it's like a scalpel. It must be sharp. A knife that is not sharp is no good knife, isn't it?

Right. Good for butter.

That also depends. If it just comes out of the refrigerator, even that it won't cut. So, if you are using a knife to do everything, to do everything, let's say you eat with a knife, you brush with your knife and you do everything with your knife, of course you will be bleeding. That's all that's happening. Only one dimension of intelligence within us. In yogic way of looking at things, we look at mind as sixteen parts. This intellect is just one part. Because our education systems are such, which are totally intellect oriented, human beings largely are using only one dimension of their intellect. to do everything. You use a knife to stitch your clothes. What will you wear? Only tatters. See, that's what you're seeing in Los Angeles right now. Half the people are wearing tattered clothes.

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So if you use a knife to stitch, that's what will happen, all tatters. Right now human life is in tatters, mainly because of this. Instead of using a needle, you're using a knife. So intellect is a very good instrument of survival. If you want to survive on this planet, you need a sharp intellect. The sharper it is, the better you will survive.

In this section, best-selling author and actress Priyanka Chopra shares why it's so important for you to believe in yourself and the different ways she's learned to build confidence and overcome insecurities throughout her life. What is this self-talk you do internally? If you don't have a mirror, if you're not alone in a bathroom, what's your process that you say to yourself? What are the reminders? What are the mantras, meditations that you think about before that?

It always helps me to voice it. whenever I'm insecure. I either I'll write about it somewhere or I'll speak to somebody who I trust, my mom, my husband, my best friends. But I find it easier to talk about it. So that's why I have a healthier relationship with my insecurities because I take away their power by discussing them. I choose not to live with them alone in the dark recesses of my mind because then they become monsters and then they become really, really large.

And.

They'Re usually not real. So it's always been very helpful to me whenever I'm feeling crazy or insecure or afraid or even if I feel like I've made a mistake.

I love everything you're saying and I'm just a big believer that if people really listen to this and understand and take it in what you're sharing, that it's hard to achieve anything without confidence. You could have the greatest experience, you could have the greatest degree, the skills, you could have the family, you could have the money, like you could have good looks, whatever it is, you could have this stuff. But if you don't know how to build confidence when it matters, it doesn't matter if the world believes in you. If we don't believe in ourselves, nothing's going to happen.

And the world won't believe in you. If you don't believe in you. and I think like as someone in the public profession, you know, my job is to be entertaining and be confident and in every step that I take and in every move that I make. But I think recognizing that confidence is not something we are born with. It's a skill. It's like, you know, it's a muscle almost, if you think of it like going to the gym and, you know, to have muscles and to in shape, you've got to work at it. Just like the vocal cords, people, the greatest musicians in the world, they use, you know, their vocal cords. They do riyaaz like we call it in Hindi, but which is warm-ups and stuff like that. So confidence to me is like that. You start using that at a very small level. Everyday life, you know, when you're in school, there were times when I was in school where I used to take the other hallway because I didn't want to bump into someone else. When I started high school, by the time I was in 11th grade, I was walking in the middle of the hallway.

You're strutting around, you're getting people moving away. Yeah.

I was like, excuse me. I didn't even have to say that. I was just walking because, and that's the same person. But I think that in any profession or any aspect of life, confidence is perception is reality. Most people believe that, right? You know that how people perceive you is what they think reality is. so give them something perceivable.

Amen to that. What would you say are three things on a daily basis that you do to build confidence that you think anyone could apply for their life, even if they feel like they have no confidence?

When I wake up in the morning, I take time in the bathroom. Like I shower, I will, you know, pick the outfit that I'm feeling today. I will, you know, sort of doing my makeup and my hair sort of helps me, or my skincare routine actually, at night helps me be sort of introspective. Otherwise, through the day, I'm very erratic. I have, you know, multiple balls in the air. Professionally, I'm doing a lot of things. I'm always behind on time. I'm always playing catch up. So at the end of the night, in the beginning of the day, I really give myself some silence. I play music and, you know, I put my creams on and I really think about what the day is going to be like and how my first step outside of the room is going to be. when I take that first step outside my safe space, it sets the tone for my day. So I try not to have it be erratic or scary or like, you know, if I'm late and if I'm running, that always sets the tone for my energy through the day. So I try to really, you know, start my day on the tone I want to have and the confidence I want to have. And at every given step during the day, I remind myself of the things I have instead of the things I don't have. Like insecurity comes from a lot of it sometimes, I think, comes from, oh, my gosh, I don't have this. It's not good enough, or I'm not good enough for a particular scenario or a particular situation, or, you know, we start judging ourselves. And this was another lesson, actually, an activity that my mom and I used to do is we used to count our blessings. and, you know, me and my husband do it too whenever we're feeling crazy because our schedules are insane. We're, you know, always in different parts of the world. We do that. We count our blessings about just five things that whenever you're feeling sort of crazy and unstable that, you know, you have that you're really grateful for. And I'm not even saying this superficially. This was, like, truly an exercise, no matter how badly you are. Someone else is worse off than you. That makes it so easy to count your blessings.

I mean, especially watching this, this latest movie that you're in. I mean, white tiger. It. I've been. I've only been India once. I went there four years ago and studied meditation in Chennai for a couple of weeks, but I went to Delhi and, you know, kind of traveled around a little bit. I didn't see everything, but I saw a lot of. dark things and a lot of things that were constantly reminding me, wow, I have a lot to be grateful for every moment. So I think it's important to have that perspective in our lives that we always have something to be grateful for. Even when it's the darkest time, there's something to be grateful for.

Absolutely. And that's so empowering. That to me is my greatest mantra is, you know, truly and tangibly do it on your fingers, do it like just five things. And it's a great exercise to do with someone as well, your kids, your family, you know, anytime it's just like five things, then you have to just say rattle it out. The five things that you can think of at that point. But, you know, the crazy part about the white tiger is that it's based in India and you probably reacted to it because it's shot so authentically. But if you think about it, the majority of the world lives in those conditions. you know, and the socioeconomic divide that exists right now is only increasing. Like even the sustainable development goals have been set to eradicate extreme poverty because it's such a big problem. There's such a large population of the world and we as privileged society, we as privileged people, anyone who has a roof above their head and meals on their table is privileged. and as privileged people, like that's something that's our concern. You know, there's a large generation of children who don't have a choice in their future or in their lives. They don't know if they can have aspirations or dreams.

And.

How desensitized we are. Last time, you know, you've driven past a homeless shelter and you've not even looked at it or a homeless person and not even looked at It's the desensitization that we as people who have, and that's the differentiation between the have nots. But it's also a reality and it's a reality everywhere in the world.

I don't want to give away the whole movie. I want everyone to watch it because it was really powerful and inspiring to see someone come from poverty to essentially become an entrepreneur and be successful in their own way. And the story is really powerful, but you took on a role that is, I found fascinating because that's probably not, I don't know if that's how you would react in real life because I know you have such a giving, grateful heart caring about humanity, but your character does something that's very controversial. And you essentially, from my opinion, don't take accountability. And how did you feel doing a role that is probably against your morals, your values, and the way you live your life right now.

I never judge my characters. You know, like I never judge people. Live and let live. Each person is individual to their decisions. And if I started, I would never be able to play bad guys. And I love playing bad guys. But I think what was most interesting for me when I was playing Pinky is she's an American, you know, and I'm an Indian who's grown up in India and understands the complexity of the diversity of that country. There is no one India. There is multiple Indias and you can spend your whole life trying to get to know it and you'll still never know her. So this is one aspect of India that is showcased in this movie, but it's also, it's more than that. It's the story of this one man and everyone else from his perspective. So it's not us looking at him. him or the country. It's him looking at all of us saying, oh, you know, and especially with my character, she's woke, but she's fake woke, right? She's one of those girls who's like, why don't you pull yourselves out of your circumstances? I, my parents worked in a bodega, you know, and I pulled myself out. Why don't you do it? He doesn't have a roof over his shoulders. His, his family doesn't have food. It's a completely different complexity that. most woke people don't have the ability to understand, including me. I lived there and I can't claim to understand it because, you know, I have had, you know, basic lively life rights since I was a child. I've been to school. I've had an opinion about where my future is going to be choices. And that's what's so amazing to me about this movie was that I leaned into playing a character that was fake woke and, you know, pivoted when it wasn't convenient. Me and my husband both in the movie, not my real husband.

Right, right.

The character in the movie, both of us sort of like were like, this is not the right thing. But, you know, when it wasn't, when it was inconvenient, we kind of stood back and watched. And that's a very human testament.

I'm curious about your evolution as a a woman in this industry, typically younger women are more desirable for opportunities in their late teens, early 20s. And it's like when you're 26-27, it's almost like you're old as a woman and you may not be the young sexy one anymore or something in this industry. How do you feel after getting into your late 30s now? How have you evolved personally to not allow that stigma to hold you back from being who you want, who you want to be, from accepting yourself, from loving yourself, from innovating and reinventing yourself that you've done so many times. How do you not let that stigma hold you back?

I can't say that I don't. I just am hoping that it doesn't happen to me. You know, we live in a world where anything is possible right now, as we've seen in the last few years, a few months years as well. And I, I think that I remember when I was in my, when I was 28, my mom sat me down one day and she said, you know, girls have a shelf life and you're reaching that where, you know, the older boys, they're always looking for the younger girl to act with. And even if they're in their 50s, you know, they're still going to be working with 20 year olds, but you're going to be old and you need to think about a business. If acting opportunities stop coming your way, that's how I actually started my production house.

Wow.

Because I was like, you,'re right. What if I'm like, I need to be financially independent in my life. But at the same time, while this was happening to me, I recognized that innovation and reinventing who I am, even for me, is so important and being true to the craft that I'm doing and the service that I have to provide, which is my job. so I started trying new things. I started wanting to grow. I didn't want to stagnate into doing the same kind of roles. I didn't want to stagnate in, you know, similar kind of parts or even languages and borders. And I did music. I was signed as a recording artist to Interscope, where I met Bose. I pivoted from that into television that I had never done. English language TV. Then I moved. to features in America. Now I'm producing in India and America and acting in both these countries, which are two of the greatest movie industries in the world. But if I sat down to think about the glass ceiling that was built for me, I would never have a trajectory powerful enough to break it.

Wow.

Because I didn't make that glass ceiling. So I don't want to think about where it is. You know, it's been made by other people. So you just kind of have to have you know, speed and run towards your end game and, you know, have a goal and be ambitious and fuel that ambition every single day.

What is the end game?

To have a legacy, I think. I want my children to be proud of, you know, the legacy that I've had. I want to be hopefully, you know, part of of, you know, the history books of entertainment where I may have contributed to the arts in some way with the work that I have done or the work that I create or the work that I will do. So I want to be able to, as a woman, you know, leave a better world for the girls after us, like the women before me did for me. I don't think about voting today. I don't think about driving today. I don't think about aspiring to have the same job as a man. And all of those fights were fought by women that came before me. So it's my responsibility and our responsibility as a generation to leave it better for the next one. So those are broad strokes of my end games.

And what, I mean, I'm sure you get this question a lot. I'm just curious because my audience is a lot of high achievers. They, they're big dreamers. They're going after they want. They're learning the skills, the tools to become more confident, more giving, all those things. It sounds like you're doing everything all at the same time. How do you navigate intimacy, connection, love with your husband, your family, your friends, the people that matter the most to you? How do you navigate relationships with such a busy full plate?

It's not easy. There's not as much FaceTime as you would possibly want. But I, when I made the deal with the devil about, you know, running at this fast pace many years ago, I realized that there would be sacrifices that are required. And, you know, when you have, there's no free lunch in the world. And when you have Ambitions, you've got to sort of pay for it. And, but I overcompensate, or I try and compensate. with making sure even if I don't have FaceTime or if I've like for a very long time in my life I missed you know birthdays and Diwali and New Year's and I would always be working and all I could do was apologize and my family always understood because you know I was I was working at something but I think that I made sure that I always call I never forget birthdays I will always call it on a birthday. If I go to a city, even if I can't meet someone, my family, my friends, I'll make sure we FaceTime. I'm very, it made me very thoughtful about the people I love. I love loving the people that I care about. I love making them feel special. And I love being empathetic. And I think it's very important to leave the baggage of the job behind when you walk into your house and just be true to what you're feeling. I think it's important to choose relationships when you're really busy because we can all be caught up in life. And, you know, life is like a really fast river. You know, you don't know what the currents are going to be because it's just moving. You don't know what you're gonna bump into because it's just moving. But you have to choose to hold on to something when you want to take a breath. Just like that, you have to choose to hold on to a relationship, whatever that might be with your children, with your family, with your parents. You have to make the time and you have to tell the people you love that you love them. Don't just assume that they know.

You've got some wisdom, Priyanka. I love this.

Thank you.

I'm curious about, I know how meaningful the relationship was with your father and he obviously got to experienced a lot of your success, and I'm sure he was extremely proud of you for, you know, the 3, 000 movies and all the projects you worked on. But I'm curious, what do you think personally, he would be most proud of that you've done in your life since his passing?

That I didn't give up, you know, that I didn't rest on my Laurels. He used to always push me. he would always push me to never be satisfied with what I have. He pushed my ambition. He flamed my ambition. He was always like, what's the next thing? What are we doing? He loved hearing stories about the next movies that I was doing. I used to literally marry them to him in the hospital bed as well. This is my character. And I used to break down my characters with him or movies that I wanted to make. And, you know, there were phases in my life. that a little bit of a dark phase, especially after my dad died, where I felt like I don't know if I could keep up with the life that I had built and what was expected of me by then. Because I personally took a hit and I personally was feeling sad and, you know, sadness sort of, sadness is strangely seductive, you know, it kind of sucks you in and you're, it's like, it feels comfortable. It feels like you're floating and it's easy. Light might be harsh a little bit, but the joy that you feel when you choose light, when you choose to let go of the seduction of sadness, I think my dad was afraid that because I'm very sensitive that I would have been seduced by sadness for a long time. he was very afraid of that. Even before he died, he used to always talk to me about, don't be sad. Do not be sad. That's. I'm not going away. I'm always with you, you know? But I was. I was tremendously sad, and. But it take. It takes choosing yourself. And I've done that multiple times in my life, and I think it's such a powerful tool because the longest relationship you have is with yourself.

I read somewhere that about you sharing that you come into this place alone, you leave this place alone, you've got to, you know, build that relationship with yourself. I love that you keep saying choose yourself because I think it's important for people to be reminded that we need to choose ourselves when no one else will choose us. We need to be there for ourselves when we're single.

It's no one's job. It's no one's job to choose someone else. You know, your parents will do it for a while, your spouses will do it for a while. Maybe your children will for a while. But you are no one else's responsibility but your own.

Yeah.

And what you do with your life and the choices you make dictate the sum of your life. It's such a simple math, actually. We are the sum of all our choices.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys, so share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out out there and do something great. Hey, everybody. Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime friend and sometimes co-host Woody Harrelson. It's called Where Everybody Knows yous Name, and we're back for another season. I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to where everybody knows your name with me, Ted Danson, and Woody Harrelson sometimes, wherever you get your podcasts.