Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

How to get anyone to tell you the truth

14 Oct 2026 · 1 min

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1:01

In this interview segment, Lewis Howes asks a former Secret Service agent (Speaker B) for the top communication tip to elicit truth from anyone. The guest emphasizes that the most effective trait is being genuinely interested in the other person rather than trying to be interesting, echoing Dale Carnegie’s principle. He explains how elevated heart rate triggers a fight‑or‑flight response, narrowing focus and reducing honesty. To counter this, he recommends starting with a strong, calm introduction that establishes physiological and psychological safety, referencing Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to ensure the person feels secure before any truth‑seeking conversation can occur.

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25 years Secret Service, getting people to admit the worst things they've ever done. What would you say is the number one secret or communication tip to getting the truth out of anyone?
If you just said one trait, I would say be interested more than, you know, trying to be interesting. Dale Carnegie, like I said, is that when you, especially in leisure activities, let's kind of tease this out a little bit. So if, if we're talking and you know you're coming in here and you're accused of something, What's your heart rate, do you think? Higher. Yeah, you're— whether it be a job interview, whether it be talking to your parents about did you wreck the car last night or get a ticket, or law enforcement, your heart rate's probably 120, 130. Once your heart rate gets to a certain point, everything starts to turn into fight or flight. You get that tunnel vision, and that's not good. So I want to, one, make a great introduction. I want you to feel like you're in a good space. Maslow's hierarchy of needs— I want to work on that base. I'm never going to be your friend in a Single interaction, but what I'm going to do is I'm going to make sure you're physiologically and psychologically safe.