Is “Manifesting” Not Working For You? THESE 3 SECRETS Will SHIFT THAT TODAY!

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Firstly, did you manifest it or did the universe give you the sign of what to want? Because that's what it was trying to send you or get you to go towards in the first place, right? Is it your voice or is it the universe's voice inside you?

How do you know?

Yeah, that's the number one thing. And I think the second thing about manifesting is there's a difference between manifesting a chocolate cake, okay, versus manifesting your purpose, your destiny, your soulmates, your life partnership, things that are like really your things that were always supposed to be yours and always supposed to come to you. I think it's almost egotistical to say you manifested them or maybe they just need to be different words. Did you put the amount of energy into the Right things, and grow your consciousness to a level that you were able to then get those things. If that's what you want to call manifesting. Those are the things. And in which case it's okay to want anything, including money. If it comes from your soul, and you almost can't explain why you want that thing, if you're going after something you think you want because it's going to give you something else, then that's a short circuit because you might get it. But then like you said, it might not stay or you might not be fulfilled during it. So I think you can manifest anything, but you may as well manifest those things that your soul really wants rather than the things that you think you should be manifesting or from an ego place.

How do we know when it's a soul desire versus an eager ego desire that we want to manifest something?

I think an ego desire is I want it because it's going to give me something else, like a secondary thing, or because I think I will like myself more, or my parents will like me more when I want to, or I'll be more impressive to others. Like you were saying about making other people happy, that kind of stuff. In which case, if you really want to make your parents happy, and that's a true desire from inside, and you really feel this yearning from within that you don't even know why you want your parents to be happy. Maybe that was your karma of your life, then just ask for that. Don't short circuit it by asking for the thing that you think is necessary for you to get that end result. Just ask for the end result and let the universe fill in the details, you know. But I think when it comes from your soul, you can't explain why you want it. You just. It's just this drive of like. And you know, I tell people, you can see in people's design, people who are motivated by money, their soul just wants money, or their soul just wants fame or wants to be recognized or wants to be seen. There's nothing inherently evil or wrong about those things, right? Because, for example, your soul might make you want money so that you move into the house that's next door to the person that you had the greatest karma to heal with. We don't know what leads to what. So it's not good to like judge them by certain things are good to want or bad to want. But if you want them from a true purpose reason, it's coming from inside you. And you can't explain why you want it or what you think it's going to give you. You just know you want it.

Why do you think so many people suffer a struggle who are also in personal development and they haven't figured out how to get through to the next level?

Yeah, I love this question because I think it's so. It's so pertinent for this time. I think we've gone through such an awakening of spirituality, but I guess I feel like a lot of people that I speak to, it's almost like they need to feel like I'm taking you into account and then doing your personal development based on what is present in you. Right. Rather than kind of funneling us into these things where. I don't know, I felt like more of a failure when I was trying to do all the spiritual stuff and feeling like I wasn't moving my life forward. Right. When I found this thing of like, do this and do this and don't just take me on a word, but see if your life actually changes. And it did. And then from seeing so many testimonials of people just like, using this practical manual, that's when I think it empowers you because you feel like you're capable of doing something rather than just like, here's my thing, trust the universe, go and do your thing and think abundantly. How am I not thinking abundantly? How does abundant thinking look on me? How do I use my specific gifts? Right. How do I. If I want to be a nurse, what's the best kind of nurse for me to be based on who I am and how I. What I bring to the table? Right. Because you might be a nurse where you're going to be more in your power and more capable and more valued by being nurturing and really, like, connecting to that part of you. Or you might be the nurse who's very good at, like, the ops and the organization and the whatever. Right. So what's nice about this is, like, makes you feel more in touch with your personal power because you know what to bring, you know what to lead with. And that subconsciously is what people will value you for the most, even if they don't know how. We're all reading each other's energy without knowing what we're doing. Right?

Right.

But we'll be like, this person is someone who's capable, who I trust, who seems good at what they do. We gravitate towards people like that. Right. And so this is like, everybody is equally genius and powerful, but you have to flex it. And these are things that you're going to flex you're going to get more energy out of. You're going to get more bang for your buck out of. Rather than. The best nurses are this. The best moms are this.

Yeah. There's what, 8 billion people in the world right now, and there's probably a lot of them, a majority of them, that will never know their human design. Right. They're never going to go through the assessment, and I guess it's not an assessment, but the. What do you call it? Like, when they.

Running a chart.

Running a chart, they're probably. Probably most people are never going to do that in the world. So for those that don't know their own human design, how do they fully tap into this really, this wisdom, this knowledge, this power in order to live a more fulfilling, meaningful life? And if they don't know their human design, are they just doomed forever? Or do they trust their gut on things better? Like, how do they know where they're supposed to go, what the roadmap is for them for creating a meaningful, fulfilling life?

I think the number one thing is that we have these very homogenized ideas of the good ways to be, the cool ways to be, the very few things that we've been taught are going to lead us to be successful or to be lovable. Right. So people who we call geniuses are usually, like, artistically creative or they're really good at some kind of, like, tech thing or. Or they're good at athletic prowess, gifted in some way. Yeah, those three things. Okay. No one is ever going to raise someone and say, the amount of care that you have for people is your usp, and that's going to make you crazy, insanely successful. Right. We're not brought up that way. Right. In a similar way, you're not brought up to say, okay, well, as a mom, if you're very good at strategizing, then that's going to make you the best mom that you can be. Right. But if you can think about those random little things that you maybe think are uncool or that might not lead you to anything and you can back those things, I think you can just do that and not know anything about your design and just take a bet on those, like, unusual little pockets that aren't everywhere.

Yeah. These are the underappreciated gifts that a lot of people have. You know, when I started this show, I remember thinking to myself, I have no idea how to, like, run a podcast or do the, you know, to do this thing. It's not what I was skilled to do, but I'VE always been fascinated by people and just curious and always ask these weird, random questions. And I was like, well, maybe there's something from this. So I just tapped into asking weird, random questions. And people seem to like it, but I was listening to that thing within me. Okay, here's like, a hidden gift that I don't think is valuable, but let's see where it goes.

Yeah.

By going into that, it worked out for me.

Yeah.

So what I'm hearing you say is, like, try to find the hidden gifts within you that maybe don't seem celebrated by others all the time.

And it's risky. I say that lightly, but it's a huge risk because your mind, again, is going to say, no, but how are you ever going to support yourself on that? How are you ever going to make money? No one's going to think you're cool. Like, what are you doing? And to be honest with you, the fact that we even think there are certain guarantees is an illusion anyway, to life. So really, this is actually working with reality, that everything is an unknown. Right. But it's really hard. And it's. The daily practice of human design is like, again, like I said, your design doesn't change. But every single day, to listen to your gut on every single thing, it's hard. And you have to do it in new pockets of your life.

Right.

And you have to relearn it and relearn it and get to another level with it and then refine. So this mind thing of, like, are you sure? Are you not crazy? Like, when I first sat my parents down and told them I was closing my food business to read human design, I mean, I literally thought my highest aspiration would be, like, they wheel me out on the lottery with a wig and I read the lucky numbers.

It wasn't cool.

It wasn't a thing. It was. This is eight, nine years ago now. Right. So I took a chance on that random thing that I didn't know where it was going to lead me. Right. And it's not the career choice that is going to take us far. It's how much we show up and be our most kind of actualized present. Powerful, capable, liking who we are along the way. That's the thing. That's the magic in people. Right. It doesn't actually matter what you're doing. You can make a fortune out of gardening if you do it the right way.

Absolutely.

You get a zing with it, you know?

Absolutely. Yeah. I think I saw one of your videos on Instagram. You talking about, like, really Leaning into your passion in terms of, like, being passionate about what you're doing and being excited about it, because that unlocks new pathways, new doors for you. When you're living into that. When we're doing something that I feel like we're skilled at but we don't fully fall in love with, we're kind of in resistance still. Like, okay, yes, I have this talent over here, but my. My intuition is not telling me that it's what I want to do with my time, you know? Or maybe, like, I used to be really good at baseball for a long time, but then when I turned 17, I just didn't have the energy for it anymore. I just didn't care enough about it to keep pursuing it. And I started to pursue track and field. And great things came out of that decision to leave something I had talent in to pursue something that I was more excited about. And I think it's learning how to trust, like, the timing of this as well, when to do this. What about in relationships? You know, how have you learned about what is a good relationship, whether it be in business, partnerships or career, or an intimacy based on human design.

Okay? So people always ask about, like, are generators compatible with this or that or whatever. Now, from a human design perspective, if you have chemistry with somebody, you're compatible. You just need to learn the other person so that there is no me trying to change you or us trying to be on the same page or me misunderstanding the very innocent reasons why you do something that I'm thinking you're sitting down on that chair for a different motivation than you would be sitting down on that chair, right? So anybody's compatible with anybody. If you're drawn to that person for the time, for the exact amount of time, you still are drawn to that person, right? Um, but if you can learn someone else's manual, for example, manifesting generators are very fast people, right? And so if you're with. If you're a projector who's with a manifesting generator to honor each other's different speeds, that already gets rid of so much friction, right? Or if you understand that somebody. For example, my mom. When I did a reading for my mom for the first time and I saw her main gift. Everybody has one gift in their life that said their main thing they came here to do. When I saw her main gift was about kind of almost being a little bit abrasive and abrupt in order to shake people out of things. So my mom would be the person who, like, she'll see someone wheeling a baby down the street, and she's like, put a hat on that baby. You know? And I always used to think that was, like, rude and inappropriate. But in a way, if you're doing it with the right consciousness, that's obviously another thing. Like the way that you animate it. There's a purpose for every single role that people play in society. Right. And so when you know the reason why someone is the way they are, you're not judging them anymore. You're not thinking that they're wrong. You're not trying to fit them in to be more like you. And what happens with our differences if we know them, then I can actually vicariously enjoy yours through you when I'm not threatened by them, when I don't think that I have to be more like you or you have to be more like me. And I'm trying to think who's better or worse.

Wow.

So I'm like, isn't that so beautiful that your main gift is, you know, whatever it is? Well, I know what you're.

What is my main gift?

So your main gift is number 36, and that's turning darkness into light.

Okay.

So a lot of the stuff that you're here to do is to pull that out from the places that people don't necessarily look at or talk about and to bring them into awareness. To alchemize things that are maybe more negative into more positive things. And then your secondary one, and they play nicely together, is really about bonding with people and breaking through barriers, which, I mean, you clearly do. I've known you for an hour. You're very good at it.

Right.

So those two things. I know that I don't have to be them because you're really good at them and I'm good at other things.

Right.

And then you actually just, like, literally, you survive off seeing other people and their gifts. It's, like, so much fun, you know? So in relationships and in business partnerships, you can do the same thing where you're like, it's so cool how you do that. And yet there's no part of me that thinks I have to be the same way.

Yeah.

So the harmony in that is, like, life changing.

I mean, you were essentially learning and studying human design for the last eight or nine years. Right. But you're also in a relationship during that time at some point. So how did you. I think you're in a relationship for four years, you said. So how did you know when you're in the relationship? When. When it was there was alignment with the relationship versus all Right. There's not alignment. Or did you miss something in the relationship that you weren't following? Your own kind of wisdom, your own intuition?

Okay, so my intuition is emotional, which means that we have to make decisions based on how things make us feel. Like happy or sad. Literally that, that black and white. Right. So either way up here or we're down here and 50% of the population is emotional, which is crazy.

So what's your energy type?

I'm a projector.

Projector.

Yeah.

Okay.

But my emotional intuition, what it says is again, you don't need to understand with your mind why your intuition is telling you what it's telling you. That's where we trip up intuition. You just have to listen to it. Just trust it, just trust it.

Don't try to understand it.

Don't try to understand it. So what our mind does, it comes in secondary and goes, these are the reasons why. And this is the logic. And this was this and this is that. And it wasn't aligned. And he was this and that. That's all noise.

So that's why you hear a lot of women that say he looked great on paper. Yeah, he had all the things that had. My parents thought this was awesome. The school he went to where he worked, like everything seemed to line up, but I just didn't have something inside of me that wanted to commit. Right.

Yeah.

That was a lot of women saying.

Right, yeah. It's making decisions with the mind rather than with the body.

Why do so many people make the decisions with the mind rather than the body?

Well, to get a little bit historical on you. If you think about where humanity has been for the last couple hundred years, right. It has been a lot of top down sort of control and a population is easier to convince you all to go to war and to, you know, do certain things. If this is the logic, we all have to agree on the logic. There's one objective reality. Let's all get on the same page. Rather than there is no objective reality. We're all just here bumping up against each other, doing our random things. That's a nightmare, right? For us got to be some order.

And some organization somewhere, right?

Yeah. But when you think about it, then the people who are in government are supposed to be the people who are very good at coming up with common laws. They're very good people who are being balanced, who are being fair, who come up with how people interact and come together, but giving people their freedom. So when you're trying to suppress a culture with a religious, homogenized Belief then there is this thing that we all. That is logic that gets handed down to us, that you have to do what makes sense to other people. And that's how you get your love and belonging from the tribe is by justifying that what you're doing is, is for the same reasons that everyone else would want to do the same things.

So how can women specifically make better decisions in choosing the right male partner for them? If they want to choose a male partner? How can women choose better in relationships?

This is going to sound a little crazy, but one of the other big conditionings that we have is that we have to make the right decision that we ensure is going to make our relationship lasts forever. And that's a good relationship. What you actually want from that is to feel the most amount of love. Right? You want to be in love and in the energy of love every single day of your life. So from that perspective, whether that changes 20 times or once doesn't really matter. So for me, that relationship was correct for as long as it lasted because it grew the amount of love I had in my life until my emotions started telling me otherwise. And am I better off because of that relationship? Am I more open hearted because of that relationship? Am I more happy with who I am? Yes. Right. So that was not a terrible relationship. That was life showing me that was a perfect amount for it to last.

Okay.

So a big thing to get rid of is I have to know how my future is going to look in order for me to be happy. Actually, you just need to be happy today and then your tomorrow will start off better and that will compound. And then it doesn't matter about the form that it takes because the inside is going to be more actualized, more evolved, more in love, more open hearted, more. All the things that we actually want.

Yeah, absolutely.

So it comes from kind of letting go of this guarantee to micromanage how the life is going to unfold for you to think of how it needs to look for you to be happy and to do the happiness today and then to trust that that's what, what activates the rest of the work. The 90% of the unseen forces kind of coming together to make things happen the way that.

Right.

That we can't engineer like opportunities, synchronicities, meeting people out of nowhere, stuff that we couldn't even do if we were the best minds in the planet. Right.

You know, there is some. There's something to choosing, to being positive and happy and grateful for certain elements of your life and trying to maximize that because when we maximize that energy, synchronicities unfold, right? These unseen forces for good show up in our life. Or they they block us from something bad potentially happening, right? Or they they move us in a different direction. But why do you think there are certain people who seem to have it all but are still choosing to be unhappy and not choosing to be grateful for what they have? They're complaining or feeling entitled for what they don't have? Why do you think that happens? The School of Greatness is brought to you in partnership with Airbnb. The holidays are such a special time to travel and gather with loved ones. Think about some of your best trips, those cozy spaces, thoughtful touches, and the feeling of being right at home wherever you are. Now imagine getting to provide that same experience for someone else, because when you travel, your place is just sitting empty while you're away. Hosting on Airbnb can be a no brainer. And in a sea season where new experiences creating lasting memories, it's a unique way to help others make their own. And Martha and I both travel a lot, especially with her family in Mexico and mine all over the usa. So we know what it's like to be on the go during the holidays. And from our experience, hosting has always been easy and straightforward. And whether you're traveling often or just once in a while, it can be a simple way to earn a little extra while you're away. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much@airbnb.com host this episode is brought to you by Facebook. Finding the perfect secret Santa gift can be stressful. You want it to feel personal and unexpected, but not random. That's where Facebook comes in. Facebook is all about turning small moments into real, meaningful connections. Just like giving the perfect gift, it brings people together in thoughtful ways, helping us show we truly see and appreciate the people around us, whether they're co workers, friends or family. And you can check someone's profile to see what they're into, explore marketplace for unique gifts, or join groups to swap creative ideas and inspiration. Facebook connects you with people who are into the same things as you and helps you find something that truly fits, making the perfect find feel more special and personal. And I've actually seen this firsthand with my own community. We have a Facebook group for everyone who's ever attended my Summit of Greatness event, and it's incredible to see how people stay connected long after the event is over. They share updates, support each other's goals, and celebrate wins big and small. And it's a Reminder that when people stay connected, great things keep happening. Let's reconnect this holiday season. Explore more with Facebook Today the holidays are here and with them comes all the cheer and the spending. And I think we've all felt the pressure of finding the perfect day gift for the perfect price. And those prices are sure giving us a run for our money. You know how it goes. One gift turns into 10, you're trying to stay on budget and before you know it you've spent half a day scrolling, comparing prices and wondering if you should have just gotten everyone gift cards. It can feel a little stressful trying to make it all feel special without breaking the bank. But luckily you can get the holiday savings at Metro with the most wonderful deal of the season. Get one line of 5G for only $25 a month and a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. The best part is that you can keep the phone you love and keep your number and no activation fees. And that's what I'm talking about. A deal that actually lasts five years locked in. That's peace of mind right there at Metro. Get that more for your money feeling. Visit your local store today. $25 a month with autopay, $30 your first month guarantee exclusions apply C Site.

For details I think that's one of those things where there's many different causes for one symptom, right? So on the outside, this person you're saying is ungrateful or unhappy. The number one reason I would say is that if you haven't liked who you've become along the way of getting to what you want, then that's never going to be a happy result. Right? You can't get to joy if you don't pave it along the way with feeling like you love being who you are. And I you've probably been in situations like this in your life before where maybe things are hitting the fan, but you still love the fact that you have your own back through it. And there's this incredible piece of like, okay, well we're on this adventure of life. The soul wants to experience everything. Let's lean into this knowing that I think I'm going to make sure that I'm okay. Right? And that weirdly transforms even the most negative experiences into these like fascinations. And I think if you don't know how to do that, then that's already a big that really takes away from your happiness. The second thing is also that again, the brain is addicted to finding something to focus on, right? And it's and it could be being focused on creativity, but when it's turned inwards, it's going to look for problems, it's going to look for unhappiness. That's what's going to happen when you let it run amok in an area that it's not supposed to run amok in. And the third one is, I think is an addiction that we're being programmed with from the outside conditioning of, you know, you should find reasons to be unhappy or you grew up around people who were that way and you need to decondition from that automatic pattern. That again, like you were saying in the beginning with your parents, that condition you, even if they weren't doing it on purpose, it's passed down until you have to be the one that says, you know what, let me not just decide to be rid of it, but let me practice being rid of it today. How would I move through my day when I catch this thing come in and I go, what else would I do instead? And you might feel like an imposter the first time you do it because it's not going to feel natural. But even if you can just flex it slightly, the universe goes, oh, look who's trying to be more themselves. Let me go help this person out.

What was the thing you had to decondition over the last 10 years that was running your life the most?

I think the emotional piece is a really big piece. And this is like I said to you, 50% of the population are what's called emotional beings. So you're what's called non emotional, meaning when you're by yourself, you're cool, calm and collected. It's only when the world comes to you or when people come to you. When or a situation comes to you, you feel a certain way. When you're emotional, you can wake up and be happy and feel on top of the world. Same exact situation the next day and you feel totally different. And for me, I was really brought up when I was in a low mood. What's wrong with you? Why are you upset? Smile. Don't be a sport brat. You know those. I'm English, right? So don't be a sport brat. And for me it was a real judgment about, about having negative emotions. And I still struggle with it today. I'm not rid of it by any, any stretch of the imagination. I just am more aware of it. So I have levity around when I'm doing it to myself.

Gotcha. So you're emotional. I'm non emotional.

Non emotional.

So explain that Again, someone who's emotional versus non emotional.

Yeah. So you don't generate your own emotions. You are like a mirror and a sponge to the world around you. So there's actually, when we talk about people who are empaths, we really are talking about, in a strict version, we're talking about non emotionals. Because you're able to feel what I'm feeling. Because I have my own emotional rollercoaster going on, I'm actually not able to viscerally tap into your emotions as an emotional person. As an emotional person.

Not emotional, personal. I can understand your emotions.

You can feel my emotions.

That resonates. I feel like I can feel everyone's energy.

Yes.

And something that I saw on your Instagram when you were talking about empaths, you said we shouldn't be absorbing, we should be observing.

Yes.

Something you said recently, don't absorb others emotions. Observe.

Yes.

And I think that's interesting because empaths take on the weight of anyone around them.

Yeah.

And they feel it and they feel emotionally drained where they have no energy if they absorb it.

Yeah.

So it's learning to notice someone's energy and still be empathetic. But don't absorb it.

Right.

Observe, connect, but don't let it penetrate your, your energy center. Don't let it penetrate your soul to where you're now in that state of being as well.

Yes.

That's a hard thing for a lot of people who are in that non emotional empath state of being.

Yeah, it is. And it's, it's an interesting one to understand that, you know, when you're not absorbing my stuff, you would be able to show me what I'm feeling because I'm so mired in it, I have no idea what's going on some of the time. So you would magnify and be able to show me what's going on with me if you're not then taking it on. So let's say, for example, I'm an emotional. I wake up and let's say I'm happy today. I'm two out of 10 happy.

Okay, 10 out of 10 happy, you said.

Let's say for example, I'm two.

Oh, two out of 10.

You're not happy because it goes on a scale. Right. So let's say one day I'm on a 2 out of 10. I walk in the room and I see you 6 out of 10 happy. I'm like, you look happy today and you've become happy because you felt what I've done and you've magnified it. Right. And that's beautiful. But I can see it more clearly through you than I can through me.

Got it.

But that also works on the other side too, where a lot of non emotionals get called the most emotional people. Because if I walk in the room 2 out of 10 sad, 2 is.

A 1 is the hot, sad, 1 is less.

Like let's say 10 is the highest.

Gotcha.

So let's say I'm 2 out of 10 sad that day. Okay. I walk in the room, you all of a sudden get in a bad mood, and I'm like, what's wrong with you? Why are you in a bad mood? And you don't know because it wasn't there before I walked in. Right. You, you're just able to reflect to me what I'm not even aware of. If we have that languaging, then I can be like, thank you so much for showing me what was going on with me today. And instead of going, what's wrong with you? Right. Because you guys are the. Are the open. Right. You're the open emotional and so you feel whatever else is going on in the world.

Interesting.

And we're just like playing our own songs, completely unaware.

I wonder what my fiance is. She's. I can't remember if she's a manifester or she. I think she's a non specific manifestor. I don't know if that's a thing, but maybe it's manifesto generator, but I don't know. But she's positive 90% of the time. Like she is in a positive, joyful, grateful state consistently. It's very rare for her to be low. Low energy.

Yeah.

Which really is nice for me because I think I've always in the past been in relationships where I didn't know what I was gonna get. And it was harder for me because I would absorb energy and I would feel it and I would allow it to drain me. Now I've learned how to observe differently and just accept people for where they're at and be there for them in a different way, as opposed to taking on their pain and sorrow and trying to like fix it. That was a wound that I had to learn how to heal. But being in a relationship with someone who is truly grateful for life, that truly loves her life, is a joy. It is like a gift that I hope everyone can experience at some point. Because it's challenging to be with someone that isn't a happy person consistently. It just is. And it's hard to be with someone for years who you don't know how to help them become happier. And that's something that I experienced because I chose based on a wound and nothing wrong with them, but just felt like it was always harder because they weren't happy.

Yeah.

And so I hope everyone can get to that state. You just unlock more when you. When you are a generally happier person. But I feel like a lot of people struggle with happiness. A lot of people suffer and struggle with feeling worthy of happiness, of learning how to believe they're a good person, of believing they're enough. Why do you think we struggle so much with being happy? And how can we learn to love ourselves deeper so that we are happier?

I love that question. So I think there's two different kinds of levels of happiness. So for example, I could be in a low mood today, but still be so fulfilled and almost loving watching that process of waking up just being more like meh today. But that meh state can mean like still fine. You know what I mean? So there's two. There's almost like one that's like the bottom of the ocean. That's like your core fulfillment. Joy to be alive, like grateful, like, oh my God, this is like, this is an adventure. You know what I mean? Like, let me just observe what's going on today. And it's all interesting and all beautiful and so amazing. Right. That level of happiness, I think really comes from being who you're supposed to be, you know, and being happy with who you are and almost feeling like you're doing what brings you the self esteem, the fulfillment, the giving and receiving in the way that you're supposed to. Right. I think when you give to the world in a way that you feel like there is an abundance more coming from it, it changes your whole worldview because you're like, there's so much more where that came from. I'm so happy to serve. I love giving to people. I love seeing how I get received when I give to people. It kind of is like the genie wishing for one wish and then you get tons more back.

Right.

When you're tapped into like, this is. I'm in my magic. So then I don't just know that I'm special from here, but I feel that I'm special every single day because I know that I have something I've cultivated and given energy to that I really feel like is me. It's like my home frequency. I can come back to my base of what my value add is in this world. Right. So I think that's number one, is like there's so much deeper levels of happiness that are available to you. If you can break away from constantly telling yourself you have to be like everybody else, constantly trying to get the love and belonging. The kind of short term cookies, you can kind of forego them and put the, put the sort of time in to take the risk to get it from the sort of longer term value giving people value rather than what can I get out of life so quickly?

And those cookies are so good. Cookies are so good. In a moment, just oh man, I love those cookies. But there's so much, there's so much greater benefit when you can delay or at least not every day have to go for the cookies. I'm not saying never enjoy it, but you know, as a metaphor, just not going for the pleasure every single day.

Yeah.

Really going for a state of long term happiness and fulfillment.

Yeah. Comes down to making yourself proud of who you are. Absolutely.

Yeah.

And that feeling is not replaceable by any other thing. I don't think that's true. I think when you're like, I really am happy, almost like you're in a parent being like, you know what, that was a hard decision. But really I'm impressed with you. I think that is the ultimate. If you want to be happy, you make yourself proud of you 100%.

When was the time in the last decade you were the least proud of you and at your lowest energy state.

I think the end of that relate. The ending of that relationship was very difficult for me because another thing that I was really conditioned with, my mom is Indian and my parents have been married forever. And one of the things I really was conditioned with is that it's if a relationship goes well, you've done well. Like it's your job as a woman to make a good relationship. And so you fail, you're the failure if you don't make it work. Wow, that was a big one for me. So that was a really, really hard time of being like, am I, am I defected as a woman? Am I not desirable enough? Did I not do enough? Was I not more malleable? Should I have, you know, been more flexible or rolled down more, you know, whatever. All those different stories that you can create. I think that was a really big one for me. But I don't think I would have undone that conditioning if I hadn't gone through that experience.

Wow. So you felt like you were a failure with the relationship ending.

Yeah, I felt like it was on me. I think a lot of women go through that too.

Really?

I think they feel responsible for making a relationship go, well, where do you.

I mean, there's something to be said for, you know, people who are in relationships, relationships for decades that are like, listen, we had some hard seasons, some hard years and we could have easily just said, you know what, this isn't working, or some bad stuff happened and we should have left, but we decided to stay together and we're so grateful 10, 20, 30 years later that we did. Because every relationship has some seasons.

Yeah.

But then there's also like, I see that point of view, but then I'm also like, okay, if your body is rejecting something and it's telling you this is not working and I'm giving it my all and I'm trying and we're going to therapy and you're really trying to commit to make it work, but it's, you're rejecting it and it's just a disconnect. I also see the benefit and the value and consciously uncoupling.

Yeah.

Saying listen, we gotta go, this isn't working. Yeah, let's take some time and maybe we come back together in the future. Yeah. And I don't think there's a right or wrong either way.

100%.

I don't think it's like you're a failure if you didn't go through all the hard times and go for 30, 40 years and make it out beautiful, holding hands as like 90 year olds on the other side. Because you could also be together for a long time and be miserable. You know, it's like, and there's a lot of probably Indian families that just stay together even though they don't fully love and have a fullness of life. Yes.

Right.

I'm sure you see both completely.

And that's the thing. And I love that you've touched on this because that's the thing about human design, is that we're always trying to look for, always tough it out or leave the second you're ready. But actually everyone's on a different path, so that advice isn't going to work for everybody. And you know, you're kind of, I guess, well predisposed to seeing this because you're very open in your chart. I had a look at, you're very open in your mind. So it is always about kind of not having your fixed opinions on things. It's always about saying, yeah, I could see that maybe, sure. I don't know, could be wrong, could be right. Let's see. Right. And that's one of your gifts. And I think that's One of the things is that we're always trying to find the right way to do life and then wronging everybody else who's not fitting into that directive and say, instead of saying, we are all on radically different journeys, journeys no one else can even ever even come close to understanding. So us using our. Again using our mental energy on trying to find some kind of system that makes us all be on the same thing or same level of understanding or same goal or it's just a moot exercise, you know?

And I think that the challenge or the opportunity we all get to face is are we going to live our life trying to please everyone else based on our decisions or lack of decisions or feeling guilty and bad and wrong for decisions we make that others don't approve of?

Yeah.

Because it's really hard to make decisions if we're thinking, why don't want people to be upset at me.

Yeah.

And I did that for a long time. I stayed in relationships too long that I shouldn't have. I got out of stuff that I probably shouldn't have because I was worried about the opinions of others.

Yeah.

So you felt like you were in a low part at the end of that relationship because you felt like a failure.

I felt like I wasn't being my best self, really. I felt like it wasn't bringing out the best in me and therefore I shamed myself for that. Because it's not good to feel like you're not happy with how you're being. Right.

Yeah.

And. And also, yeah. I really had to contend with, like, if I end this, then am I stupid? Am I making a really bad decision? Because again, like you were saying, he's great on people. We're good enough together. My whole family loves him. He's successful, he's this.

He's nice to me, he's whatever it is. Yeah.

All that stuff.

You know, what was in telling you, like, this isn't in alignment or this isn't the right thing for me right now. What was telling you? Was it your intuition? Was it your gut? Was it just like you didn't feel like you were in your purpose or your joy? How were you able to know that? Okay, I'd given this enough time and the season is ready to move on to the next thing.

Yeah. I think I can come up with a lot of logical reasons for you, but I think. I think ultimately if I watch myself and net net, my emotional state was more negative than positive in the relationship towards the end. So then that kind of tells you. Well, again, it's like the body knows. Right. Like, it just, it's so tangible. We just need to watch ourselves as if from above and say, does this person look like a thriving. Does it look like it's suiting you or not? And you don't need to be able to explain it away on a more, I guess, on a more logical level. I went in with certain roles that I played that were, again, if we're always trying to be who we came here to be, they weren't ultimately part of who I was. Right.

They weren't serving you.

Yes.

Or your future. You. Your highest. You.

Yes.

So you went in playing certain roles in a relationship, and then you realize, this isn't sustainable. This isn't me. So it was kind of like your responsibility for being those roles because you were almost completely inauthentic in a sense. Right.

And those are my cookies. Look how good of a girlfriend I am. Look how supportive I am. Look. You know what I mean? The cookies are sometimes a little hidden like that. Right. It's like, look how much I'm helping this person be successful. That's so much more easy than trying to be successful on my own. Right.

So from. I mean, I don't know anything about the relationship, but if I was in that and I'd be like, wow, okay, this person. This is who this person is. They're showing up in this way and now they're trying to be something different. It might be confusing.

Very.

For the guy.

Oh, no. Very.

So it's beyond. Right. He's probably like, wait a minute. You were super supportive and now something is shifting and now you're trying to be this other thing that's not, you know.

Yeah. Who are you? Oh, I played such a good trophy wife and I was good at it. Like you said, like with the previous sport. Like, I was good at it. Right. So you can't blame. You have to. I think ultimate self responsibility gives you ultimate power over your own life. You absolutely everything is for your own movie. So it's always, I, I, I, I, I. I played the good role. I played the thing. And therefore I got out of it what I put in.

Right.

It doesn't matter about who the character is that I was playing with. I would have played that character on whoever it was.

Who, anyone. Until you learned the lesson exactly. That this wasn't. I mean, maybe it's like, okay, I can be this sometimes, but this is not the role I'm supposed to be playing in my life right now. Is that what it sounds like? This is Interesting. But here's the other interesting thing. You'd been studying human design for, I guess, three to five years by that point already. So what were you not listening to with your own study and practice of human design?

Yes.

What was your human design telling you to do that you were directly going against?

This is really interesting, I think the emotional piece again, actually with us. Because I was so suppressing my own. My joy and my sadness.

You were suppressing it?

Suppressing it.

Why were you suppressing joy?

Because I think England is a little different than America. You know, you can't be too. There were certain situations where I felt like. And therefore was told. But that's because I felt like it. Right. That's why it actualized. In the outside world. You can't just. You. You can't just drink tea at midnight and just be dancing on the. On the table by yourself like, you know, have some alcohol, fit in, like, sit down and be cool and have conversations. And, you know, I. I felt this, like, want to be kind of like, you know, unboundedly joyful for no reason that I suppressed. And I also suppressed tears. Right.

Because you're. Because friends or society in England was like, oh, don't be too happy.

Like you're wacky. That's crazy. Yeah.

Relax a little bit.

Yeah. You contemplate.

And when you were emotional or crying, they were like, what are you crying for? You know, they couldn't take it either way of these dreams.

Yes.

Kind of keep it in the middle of this. Not surface y, but kind of not fully authentic.

Yes.

Way of being is what I'm hearing you say. At least the people you're with or the. The places you're around.

Yes.

So you were suppressing both emotions.

Yes.

All to enjoy, to be more accepted or fit in. Interesting. And now to try to belong.

Yes.

But you weren't being fully authentic or vulnerable.

Yes. No.

And so you weren't actually belonging at all because you weren't belonging to yourself. Right. Now there's a talented person out there who could take your company to the next level. The question is, do you want to just hope they see your job post before your competitors, or do you want to match them with using indeed sponsored jobs? When it comes to hiring, indeed is all you need. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide who trust indeed to connect them with quality talent that truly fits their vision. With sponsored jobs, your post gets boosted to the right candidates so you can reach the exact people you want faster. Spend more time interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress Less time, more results. Now with Indeed sponsored jobs and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves@ Indeed.com greatness. Just go to Indeed.com greatness right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com greatness terms and conditions apply. Hiring do it the right way With Indeed, the best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, including 130 million decision makers. That's why LinkedIn has the highest B2B ROAs of all online ad networks. Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Just go to LinkedIn.com louis that's LinkedIn.com/lewis. Terms and conditions apply.

And if you. If you take it in this frame, like you're asking me, the emotion is your motor center as an emotional being, right? When you're an emotional being, emotions, your power center comes from your solar plexus, right?

And you took it away.

So when you take that away, firstly, you have less energy. Second of all, you can't make decisions, the correct decisions in your life, and you're suppressing all of your life force from directing your life forward. So if you imagine, okay, there was already certain things that were supposed to be in play to move my life forward for me from the universe, just like there is for all of us. You're literally holding them back from just. Instead of just letting them unleashing them, right? Letting your destiny move through you, right? Because you're just holding yourself back because you're saying, I'm, this is not a good way to be. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be an emotional being, okay? So you're constricting. All of that life was inside of you instead of letting it out. So then you stay small and you.

Don'T use your voice.

At all.

You didn't feel like you used your voice at all.

Not until the end. And then I think I'd suppressed it so much that it came out completely. How do you put this disproportionate, you know, when you keep so many things inside?

Extreme.

Yeah, you. You say some. Well, not even extreme, but you say, I'm not happy. And someone's like, what do you mean you're not happy? It's Come out of nowhere. Like, you seem happy, you know, and that's unfair to do on a person.

Yeah.

Instead of communicate along the way of, I feel sad today, and I don't know why, and it's nothing to do with you, but I just need my space to be sad.

Right.

That's what emotionally to be doing. There's no rhyme or reason. Sometimes when you feel really teary or you feel like I have different emotional wave to other people, different sizes, different behaviors, different patterns of emotions. Mine is kind of sad and happy. Sad and happy. Like I feel teary, and then I want to dance down the street.

Some other, like, a moment.

It's day to day.

I'd say, okay, gotcha.

And then other people, you know, when they are really low, and these are people who often get diagnosed as being, you know, manic or bipolar or whatever. There's just some people who have so much creative emotional power in them. Think about people who've moved the world through a song about a breakup, right. When they're in that songwriting process, they need to remove themselves and be away from people and mire in that sadness so fully because it creates something inside them. But instead, if they're like, no. Put on a brave face and go out there and be with people and hide that, it's saving. It's basically muffling all of that creative power inside them. Right. Low and high emotions is what makes a human experience worth living. If everything was just neutral, there'd be no point in being here. Right. So the emotionals color life. But we also need to be mindful of how much we allow other people like you to understand it's not about you. If I'm sad today, and if I come to you and I say, I'm really sad today, can I cry?

And.

And then you hold my hand. That makes us bond more. And, you know, it's not about you. Right. And so it creates deeper intimacy when people are okay with their emotions. Right. And sharing them.

Anything of significance that a person has achieved over their life, they didn't know how to do it when they started.

That's true.

A quantum leap is one of those things that's dead solid, perfect within the realm of possibility for you, you just haven't done it yet.

But it's.

It's a real stretch goal. And the thing about it is, if you set your goal right, it forces you out of your current modus operandi.

If you set your goal correctly. How do you know how to set your goal the right way in order to create A quantum leap in your life.

There's several things about goal setting that I think are real key points.

If.

You'Re shooting to make this kind of an export exponential leap in performance. So then first it needs to be a serious stretch go. You need to scare the horses, you.

Know, it needs to scare you.

Yeah, there needs to be. But secondly, it needs to be a goal that, that it needs to be a love story around that goal. I think because when you go for a big goal, any goal of much significance, you're going to have some setbacks, you're going to have some obstacles that come along. You're going to get kind of banged up and bruised up maybe, and you need to care enough. You know, the heart is what sustains you through that. And so there, you know, people talk about a passion for this, for this goal, and I think, well, that's a fine word and it fits. But some people say, well, I just don't have that passion. Well, you just need to care for it or at least be committed enough to it that you say, I'm going to stay the course. I will, I will put myself out there. And I think that it needs to be your goal, not somebody else's goal for you, not a should or ought to go. I think fundamental mistake that a lot of people make is they don't believe in themselves enough and they don't reach high enough. Who is it Astro Teller, who is the head of Google X, you know, their innovative arm that said 10% can be as hard as 10x? You know, a 10 improvement, not necessarily any improver. Small acquisitions were every bit as difficult to make work as the big ones, which is kind of a counterintuitive thought. I mean, normally people don't go out with their mind drifting down that path, but we've. You squared. The handbook is it's kind of based on counterintuitive ideals, kind of things that stop you and kind of, you know, make yourself uncomfortable. You know, that's one of the points. Well, why would I want to do that? You're an athlete. If you're not willing to make yourself uncomfortable, you got to get off the field.

Absolutely. Yeah. So it's almost like 10x is just as easy or just as challenging as 2x. And it's about how you frame it and about going after it the right way. It's what it sounds like. They're both going to be challenging. So you might as well go for the bigger leap than the one that's like just a little bit more uncomfortable. So if People are looking to make more money, make a bigger impact and work with more influential people in their life or people that are more disciplined and up to a bigger game, which is what it sounds like that you wanted to do early in your career. You wanted to make more money, you wanted to make a bigger impact, a bigger difference, and you wanted to work with the leaders. What was it inside of you that said, okay, I'm going to make this quantum leap? Was there, was it a moment? Did you feel like you put in all the work that you needed to? Was it an awakening? Was there a breakdown you were facing your life where you said, okay, I'm not happy with incremental growth year after year in my personal or professional life. What was that deciding moment that said I'm going to try something unconventional and completely change the course of my life?

Boredom.

Boredom. Boredom and, and just lack of purpose.

Hunger and hungry. I was hungry for, for scaling up. I mean really a major scaling up. I thought that we were, we weren't making any mistakes.

You weren't failing enough.

We weren't, I mean we were on autopilot. I mean the place, it ran too smoothly and it began to just bore me and I got disgusted.

Why do people get so comfortable?

Why did they get so comfortable?

Yeah, when they used to have quantum leaps, you know, from not from crawling to walking to running to. And then it's just kind of sitting.

People are so different. I mean they're so alike too, but they're so different. And some people just have a much higher need for achievement. Some people have much higher energy level. And some, you know, on and on.

And on the human needs might be different.

They're just different.

Some people want growth, some people want achievement, some people want contribution.

Some people want a job that they want to nurture. Other people. I got a PhD in psychology. I did a year long clinical internship. I worked on a psychiatric ward. That is not. And I knew from the word go that that was not where I would end up. It just. But you got people, they're drawn to that. And that's the wonderful thing about the world, the difference. But the truth is I don't care where, I don't care what direction a person is drawn. They can make quantum leaps in that, in that zone, whatever their strike zone is. But I don't really spend a lot of time, I guess, trying to talk people into making a quantum leap. And unless they have something inside, just.

They'Ve got to want it gnawing at them. They got to be hungry, they got to be, you know, anxious about something changing. They got to want to change.

They do.

Because some people know they want something more, but they don't know exactly what it is.

Yeah.

And so they're in the uncertainty of, well, I'm not sure which direction I should go in. And here's another problem I see is people have too many passions. I've got this idea and this idea and this idea. Which one do I choose? And when someone has 10 different passions or different roads that they could go down, how do they know which one they should go down?

That want to factor. That's the X factor. And, you know, people talk about willpower. Well, I want to talk about want power.

What does that mean?

Oh, it's want power is how much do you want this thing again? You know, how much are you in love with this ideal? I do think that there are times when we're kind of directionless, or a person certainly can be. And so for that poor soul, although they might be happy, content, doing fine, really, but they kind of like something to change and be bigger and better and more dramatic or whatever. And so sometimes I think we can maybe find that magical era just by playing with a curiosity or saying yes to a random opportunity that just comes smack in front of us, or maybe deciding, well, I'm going to muscle up one of my superpowers. I'm just sort of really get into that because I have fun with that, and I'm good at it. So those are things I think that one can. Can play with when they're there. They're not.

Just not sure the direction. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it sounds like once we can figure out which direction we want to go in to make a quantum leap, it's hard to make a decision of which direction to go for some people, where other people just know. This is the thing I love. I'm excited about this. I have some skills or talent around this idea or this thing, and I'm going to go all in on it. But once you can figure out the path you're going and the direction you're going to take, how do you know it's time to take a quantum leap in that path versus all right, I got to figure out my bearings and figure out where I'm heading in this direction and just kind of create some goals and get it going. But how do I know when my time is ready for a unconventional growth spurt, for a leap so big and grand that other people think I'm crazy and laugh at me when I talk about It.

I don't think you will necessarily know.

I.

Think you make a decision. One of the chapters in the U Squared handbook is make your move before you're ready. I'll tell you where big dreams go to die.

Tell me.

They go to the planning place, getting ready place, preparing myself. And it's the biggest con job we work on ourselves. There are so many bones of big dreams in that graveyard where people. It's always something that there's always going to be a set of reasons to wait. And it's like Gilda Radner, that line of hers on Saturday night, not Live, you know, it's always something. Well, it is. And so when are you going to take the risk? You pick 10 people at random and I'll bet $100 that we can find quantum leaps in every one of them.

Really?

Oh yeah. And if you stop and think about it, everybody's made quantum leaps before they reach school age. Because you come into this world naked, you can't speak, you can't feed yourself, you can't get around. And by the age of three, you're doing all three of those things.

It's true. Some pretty incredible.

Now go and look at what that child did. They were willing to fail over and over and over and over and over again. They had no methodology, they just knew what they wanted and they were willing to make mistakes to show them the way there. And it's the same thing when they learn to ride a bicycle, when they learn to swim, when they learn to run as opposed to walk. And so those are all. That's not an incremental thing. You can't crawl fast enough to become a walker. You know, you got to change the game. It's a totally different game. Waiting is w a D I n G and the water is. You can't wade fast enough to swim. And so it's that process of being willing to take new risks. Change your modus operandi, fail your way to success.

You talk about seeking failure in one of the chapters of you Squared and in another chapter about suspend disbelief. I loved a few quotes in this because I believe self doubt is the biggest killer of dreams. It's what holds us back from taking the steps necessary to fail often, frequently, in order to make those big leaps. And in your, your chapter on suspend disbelief you started with saying act as if your success is for certain. Most people will have so much doubt. Is this possible? What happens if I fail? What happens if I do succeed? The pressure. What about all the judgment I'm going to get from the actions and the failures. And you say, if you must doubt something, doubt your limits. I love that line. And one other line that really stood out to me is your doubts are not the product of accurate thinking, but habitual thinking. And when I read that, I was like, wow, this is so true. It's not a product of accurate thinking, it's of habitual thinking. We've been thinking limited consistently, and this habit of thinking limited keeps us in a limited state of being, a state of mind as opposed to accurate thinking. What is possible. We don't step into that enough. And this whole chapter really opened up for me because I. My thesis in life is self doubt is the killer of dreams. And when we can learn to believe in self, which is something you talked about here as well, needing to believe in yourself, it needs to be your goal. And you need to have a love story around this pursuit. But if we can't learn to believe in self, it's going to be hard. You can love the idea of your goal, you can have clear goals, but if you doubt you, your dreams are going to die. And I think that's a challenging thing for people to say. Well, how do I learn to believe in self? How do I learn to have accurate thinking, not habitual thinking? How do I, you know, learn to doubt my limits as opposed to doubting myself? And how do I learn to act as if my success is for certain when I've always doubted me? What do you say to, to that statement?

Yeah, it's a, it's a killer question. Well, you get to choose how you behave. To heck with your thinking. And I say your thinking is what it is and it's riddled with doubt. It. You're ravaged with doubt. You still get to choose how you behave. And you can, you can act like you've got what it takes. You can't.

You can do it. Yeah.

It's not easy. And you can feel like a. I'm faking this. Oh, am I ever faking this?

But the best actors in Hollywood make a lot of money.

Exactly.

They're playing a role.

Yeah.

They aren't that role.

That's right.

That's not who they are in their normal life. But they're playing a role. And the better you can act, the more money you can make in Hollywood.

Well, it was a George Burns or someone that said something about, I won't get this precise, but it's something like authenticity is the key. If you can fake that, you got it made.

Right, Right.

But so, so that's one thing and just go against everything that's going on inside you because most people are not going to know.

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But there's another thing. Manage your remembering.

What does that mean? Your memory of painful.

What you go back and what you, what you dwell on when you go back over the years. I mean, I can go back just like that. I can think something and I can, I can pull up again and again and get all these times that I've been embarrassed, I've been humiliated, I failed, dropped the ball, you know, I'm dwell on that if I want to, but I can also go back. And the times that I pulled it off, the times I, I did it right, I surprised myself how good it felt when I was good to somebody else, you know, on and on and on. So you get to, you get to dwell on whatever you want to dwell on. And we're too indiscriminate. It's kind of like these two voices we've got in our head. We got a hero voice, we've got a villain voice, you know, and who are you going to give air time to? People talk about having a coach. Well, the coach that is closest to you is the voices inside your head. You're coaching yourself all the time and you get to decide which voice you want to hand the mic to. And the villain voice is very compelling. And he's, he's a con artist because so much of the time he's like that. I'm here to protect you, buddy. I'm on your side. I'm Going to keep you from screwing up. I don't want you to fail. I don't want you to embarrass yourself. You know, just listen to me now. And so he focuses on mistakes, on your wicker points and all the why nots, your hubrow voice focuses on your strengths, your accomplishments, and so on and so on.

What's your thoughts on manifesting and manifesting something you want and alchemizing it into the world? Do you believe in manifesting? Do you believe in a, you know, artist should be thinking in that way, or what's your thoughts on it?

I believe in it a million percent. It's something that I've experienced before I knew what it was. So. So when I say it's like.

I.

Feel like it has to do with. In the purity of the intention behind what you're doing. If your intention is pure and you're doing it for the right reasons, it seems like things tend to work out and that ends up being a manifestation mindset. But it didn't start for me that way. It just was like, I really believe in what I'm doing. I really care about it. I want to be the best it could be for me, and I'm excited to share it. And the results have shown me that you can manifest things.

It happens.

It's it. But I'll say when I do it, it's never based on the outcome.

Ooh, what do you mean?

I'm never asking for a result.

What are you asking for?

I'm asking for to. To rise to the occasion, to make the best thing that I can for the thing that I make to be great. Great is a vague word. I don't know what great means. I came to realize recently what great means, but I didn't know. Most of my life I was aiming for great, but I didn't know what that was. And I've come to realize that great means it's a devotional. It's a devotional kind of greatness. It's a gift to the universe. It's a gift to God.

Wow.

If you're making a gift to God, there's no greater. You can't put more into it than that. You can't. What about the single. What about. What about what someone's going to say who has anything to say if we're making a gift for God, that there's. You're putting all of your purest intention into this thing for the universe.

Wow.

That's where it's at. I didn't know that I came to realize that recently, again, my word was greatness. Greatness, that was the word of what I was shooting for, but I've come to realize what it is.

Wow.

You have a whole kind of section about greatness and success in the creative act, a way of being, which is which. I loved your explanation in there. That is fascinating. So greatness for you, what I'm hearing you say is a pure gift of yours to God.

Yes. And it's a gift of yourself to God. It's like, this is the best I can do. This is my offering. This is what I have to offer.

If you think of a formula for manifesting as an artist, what would that formula be?

I don't think there's a formula.

Is there an art to manifesting?

I don't know. I don't. I think it sounds like a shortcut, and I don't think there are shortcuts. I think it's always a version of doing the work, of finding your way into what it is that the universe wants you to do and then really dedicating yourself.

How do you know what the universe wants you to do and when to do it? The right timing, because you could be like, I have this idea for this thing. Maybe it's the right time now. Maybe it's five, 10 years away from now.

How do.

How do we really tap into that knowing?

I think it's. It's. It's situational. And I think, again, if you're tapped into the universe, it tells you.

It.

It directs you. An example, I may have three different ideas that I'm excited about, and I kind of get them all going, and then one of them just seems to take off on its own. And one of them, no matter how hard I work on, never seems to come together. Can't find the right collaborators. Impossible. Some obstacles in the way. When that happens, I feel like it's the universe saying, now's not the time.

Interesting, because, you know, I. I love this. And I also hear the other side of the. I guess the coin where, you know, I don't know if you know Ryan Holiday.

I do.

The Obstacle is the way is his kind of stoic philosophy of, like, when the obstacle is there and presents itself, and you also feel like this is something you want to do, like, you've got to kind of go through that pain and, you know, overcome it.

That is part of it. I'm not saying to turn away from the obstacle, but I'm saying when the obstacles become insurmountable consistently, and there's another path Right. That's going smoothly. And you feel the same about both of them.

You know, I go for the effortless way. Yeah, well, pay attention.

See, when, when is the universe giving you a push? When is the, when is the wind hitting your sales the right way? There's something to it. I'm, I'm, I would never suggest not fighting through the work. It's, it's, it's grueling no matter what. It's grueling no matter what. That said, sometimes it feels like now's not the time. It's like all, everything you throw at it gets deflected.

Right.

But this other thing is guiding you.

Taking on its own life. Earlier you asked about what I perceived to be a shortcut. And a shortcut is how little can I get away with doing? And I think that the real question is how much more can I give to the thing I'm making?

Right?

What else can I give to it? And, and thinking in terms of how much more can we do, not how much less can we do? It's not about shortcuts. It's not about getting it done. You know, it's not about a four hour work week. I love, you know, I love to, but that's not, it's like whatever it takes for it to be all. It could be commitment and total commitment and dedicating your life to making the best things you can, whatever it is.

Yeah. That's beautiful, man. So you think that as artists we should be thinking about manifesting, but not in the terms of doing less, but putting the maximum into making it great.

Doing anything that's within our power. It doesn't have to make sense. Nothing has to make sense. Could be when I wear these purple socks, I can write a better song. Great. Doesn't matter. Don't question it. Just do whatever works. Do it.

Is it really art if you're making money off of it?

Absolutely does. It doesn't matter. It's not about the outcome. That's what I'm saying. If you don't make money or if you do make money, that has nothing to do with the art. Art is the art and then whatever happens after happens after. If you make something that you love. I know if I make something I.

Love.

If more people like it, that's only a good thing. Now, I wouldn't change a word of it for someone else to like it. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like I make the thing I love and then present it to the world. And then if the world likes it great. And if more people like it than less, better, why not? We're sharing something we love, something we think is beautiful. So the more people who embrace it. But again, I would never change it for anyone else because that's not what it's about. It's not about that.

Right. With the artists you've worked with that you knew before they were global successes or their art, their music, or, you know, was known by many, what did you see became their biggest challenge once they became extremely successful? Because a lot of artists, I would think, want their art to be lights and listened to by people. They want to make a living and more people like it. Typically that's a good thing. Typically. But sometimes we see artists who have this incredible rise of success and then seem to struggle with whether, whatever, depression, anxiety, maybe the pressure, can I do this again? Will I be able to have these many hits again? What is the biggest challenge you see with artists becoming successful?

Probably the biggest one is nobody prepares you for success. And you may have a dream of what it's like, and you may think the success is going to fill some hole you have in your soul. And then the success and you work your whole life for this success that's going to fill the hole and finally you get the success. And the hole's the same. And it's. It creates hopelessness.

Wow.

Because you always. You're working towards this goal that's gonna fix the problem, but it's. The goal doesn't fix the problem.

It.

I would say I can't. I can't. I can't say never, but I would say almost never fixes the problem.

What fixes the problem for people?

It's something else. It's something inside themselves. It's something inside themselves.

So do you think success can almost hurt someone more than before they have it, after they have just.

It depends on the person's temperament. And, you know, for some people, being famous is the greatest thing. It's all they ever wanted. And for some people, they become famous and it's the worst nightmare. That's not what they wanted. They miss their privacy. They miss their anonymity. They miss being able to go and do whatever they want and not be singled out or pointed to or talked to or even if people are nice, like, it's different and no one teaches you how to do that or you want to go do something with your family. And then there are photographers there, and it's very awkward.

What advice do you have for people that want to be famous? Success is one thing, but Fame is another thing, and they don't always happen together. For someone that wants to be famous, what advice would you have for them?

I don't know. I would say. I would look at why that is, maybe see, you know, consider therapy.

Right. Have you ever done therapy yourself?

I've done. Yeah, I've done all kinds of therapy.

What has been the biggest lesson you learned through therapy for you?

I learned how to express my feelings clearly. Like, when I. The first time I went to therapy, I didn't even know how to talk. I didn't know how I felt about anything.

How old were you then?

Maybe 26.

So you learned how to express your feelings then?

Yes. And to not only, yes, express them, but also to actually, you know, feel them in myself, to understand, not just feel like, blocked off or frustrated or like what's beneath it, what's actually going on.

And what is the biggest lessons that meditation or meditation practices has provided for you?

It provides a quiet space where the chatter. You realize that your. Your thoughts are not you and that left your own devices. There'll be a lot of voices in your head just going all the time, and they're not you and they don't mean anything and they're really repetitious. They're not working in your best interest.

So if your thoughts aren't you, then what are you?

I suppose you are the unchanging part of yourself that's always there from probably from the time you're born till the time you die and maybe before and after. It's the. It's what's really inside. It's not. It's not changeable. It's what you came with.

It's not the thinking mind. It's almost being the observer of the.

Thoughts, the one who sees the thoughts. That sounds right.

Yeah. Observing good thoughts.

Good. Thank you.

Yeah, that's what I was hearing you say. When do you feel the most loved, Rick?

I would say in general, I feel loved. It's an. It's a good feeling. Like, I feel. I feel spiritually connected. And that's a. That gives me a great feeling of peace.

Where do you think you'd be in your life if you weren't a meditator? And where do you think you'd be if you allowed yourself to play with drugs and alcohol?

Yeah, I can't really predict. I would say meditation. Without meditation, I don't know who I would be. It's such a big part of who I am informed. So many. Everything. My understanding of the world is based on learning to Meditate when I was younger, so I don't know who I would be without that.

Do you think you would have as much internal harmony and peace and external success without meditation?

No, certainly not internal peace. I don't know about success.

I wanted to ask you a question about comparison. You mentioned the NBA basketball player needing to post more on social media based on what their team or the coaches or maybe not the coaches, but maybe the general managers wanted them to do with artists. I see a lot of people competing and being in comparison versus just sharing their truth in an authentic way. And sometimes on social media people are vulnerable because it gets attention and then they're over vulnerable and then that becomes a game in itself. But in a world where everything is over saturated seemingly and there is a lot of competition for attention, how can an artist stay true to their inner voice and not be in comparison, but be willing to collaborate and also see success in others and be okay with it?

Yeah, I think staying out of it, you know, like not participating in that game, that's. It's someone else's game. That's someone else's game. I would suggest play your own game. I can remember having a conversation with one of the biggest artists in the world who described an album that they were going to make. And I had just seen them play in a stadium full of people screaming and crying. And it was not Paul McCartney. And the album that they were describing was one that none of those 70,000 people screaming and crying wanted to hear. It was clear to me. And I remember saying, that's not your hand like you play when you're playing poker. It's not. You can't just play any cards. You play your hand based on the cards you've been dealt. So depending on the artist you are like. It'd be like. There was a time, I think, when Metallica felt like we don't really want to be a heavy metal band, we want to be a pop band because pop bands were what's popular and we have reached a ceiling. Being a heavy metal band, that did not go well. That was a bad idea. They weren't playing their hand. They weren't embracing Metallica. And I think if you embrace your part, it's your best chance being true to yourself. Not saying, oh, well, those people over there are getting popular doing this other thing. I don't really like it, but it's really working for them. Maybe I could try that Recipe for disaster.

So don't chase something that's not your hand.

No.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the Description Description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

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