Use This Universal Power To Banish Discouragement and Overcome Loneliness EP 1292

We're all in it together. So please be honest with your process. Bring it to the table. Tell people you trust, tell people in your family if you trust them. And now know one thing.

Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me Today, now let the class begin. Season two of All American is here. Host Cecile Harris revisits the jaw-dropping moments that have defined Venus and Serena Williams nearly three decades in the spotlight. Through interviews with retired tennis players, fans, journalists, and even the Williams sisters' former coach, Harris uncovers how American attitudes towards Venus and Serena have transformed from open hostility to reverence. Follow and listen to All American, Venus and Serena, wherever you get your podcasts. You have a lot in your book, but if you could give people just a seven day meditation or prayer game plan to get started, maybe it's a one sentence prayer that every day you think of this when you feel wounded, maybe it's some other practice What would you say would support people for seven days to help them with their wounds?

Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you. This is what I would say, my beloved, because we're all beloved, bring the woundedness to the altar, to the table. Bring it right here. So if you are sitting in front of a friend, you would bring your heart, you would not cover up anything. You wouldn't say, How are you? You would say, Fine. I would say, you, know, I'm hurting. So be absolutely honest with your process and get there because so many of us cover it up because we feel ashamed, we feel unworthy, we feel inadequate, we feel less than, and we basically, Luis, we feel we're not good enough. Therefore, we cover it, we cover it, and then we live as an imposter. And it's not that we live as an, we could be very, very successful in the world and still feel like an imposter and still feel I can't really show what I'm truly feeling. So, you know, there's been a lot of conversation recently about trauma and mental health and that because of the pandemic and the uncertainty and the insecurities we're all going through, It's in the surface. You can't really hide it. So what does that tell us? We're all the same. None of us were invisible. Some of us suffered more and some of us suffered less, but we all kind of took the collective suffering. So let me tell you, all our beautiful friends who are listening, we're all in it together. So please be honest with your process, bring it to the table, Tell Luis, tell me, okay? I'm here for you. You're here for them. Tell people you trust. Tell people in your family if you trust them. And now know one thing, that you're not alone, not because of your friends and your community, but because of your spirit, your God-given spirit. So let's just break it down. We all have 36 trillion cells that are making us right now. So this personality, this person who is expressing right now, this person who is looking at you, you are looking at me, we're all looking at each other every day, is not really who we are. I mean, it is who we are presenting, but underneath that, there is a force There is a miracle of life that I don't really understand. I mean, I'm sure you don't either. I mean, this trillions, it's magic. So what I say, no matter the conditions of your life, let's call this the life force. My mother used to say, Ariana, my sister Agapi, trust your life force. Now, my mother, let me just give a background to our listeners, survived the Second World War. She was a nurse in the Red Cross. She was in the mountains hiding Jewish people when three soldiers, three Nazis, walked in with machine guns, and she stood up and with all her mighty force in perfect German, because she spoke German, she said, Put down the guns. You have no right to shoot here. We are Red Cross. And she saw three machine guns go down. And actually her comb fell on the floor and the guy picked it up and took it and she said, Excuse me, can I have my comb back? I need it more than you. That is what I call Greek chutzpah.

Okay. That's great.

I was raised with that. I was raised when When my mother didn't have money to pay the rent, she would go out and get Ariana and me wonderful brand new coach and give her last money to make us feel that the universe had plenty. So I was raised with a sense of no lack. And many times in my life, I was broke. I had no money, I had no work. I was an actress, and I never wanted to wait tables. But I had amazing friends, and they took me everywhere. and they gave to me and I received.

Did you always learn how to receive or did you resist receiving at a period of time?

No, I was very good at receiving. Later in my life, I became the fixer and the giver. I'm still learning now. It's really amazing. Once I discovered God, I said, oh, now I have to help everybody. And it's like I'm still learning not to over be responsible for other people, not to have to fix them, to say, You know, this person who is going through such a hard time, has a divine self, has a high self, has a soul. We all come in here with a God-given soul. So I can shine the light, I can send them the light, but I don't have to walk their path. So that's a huge lesson for me. And in the book here, I have a whole chapter called How to Learn to Be an Empath. Because if you're an empath, you're a sponge. you're absorbing everybody's pain and misery and despair.

So... What happens to us if we don't want to receive support from others, help from others?

Get over it!

Right, right. What is it saying about ourselves when we don't allow others to support us?

We are not feeling worthy. We don't want to reveal that we are inadequate, and it's nothing to do with inadequate. It has to do with You know, you said something, I was watching one of your podcasts and you said, I'm humble enough to know that there are experts about things out there and I'm gonna go find them.

Absolutely.

And if I want to learn how to make a great French toast, I'll go to a French chef and learn. And if I want to make spinach pie the Greek way, I'll go to Agapi. So I will go to people who know how to do And that is such liberation, Louis, such a liberation to know that I can learn from you, you can learn from me, and it's the collective dance.

Yes.

But people, I don't know, do you think especially men are very shy or they say, I know, I know, I'm gonna do it. And then they go through hard times and they never tell anyone.

Sure.

Because the male ego, I mean, you wrote about that.

Absolutely, yeah.

You know, the mask of masculinity. the male ego says, I don't want to reveal that I am vulnerable.

Yeah, weak or less than.

Yes, I have a dear friend of mine now who's pregnant and her boyfriend, because they're not married, is panicking and said, I'm not worthy to be a father. My business is not yet successful. And I go, you,'re as ready as any time. You know that a lot of men go through this. I have to have a certain amount of money in the bank and be successful in my business in order to be in a relationship, right? Or to be married or to have children. And that's sort of the unconditioning we have to do. So back to answering the question is that what I want people to know is that on one hand, on your right hand, you're holding your woundedness. on your left hand, you have your divinity. In the bridge is your prayer.

Ooh, okay.

So the prayer is the bridge. It's the telephone between the two worlds. You pick up the phone, you know, and you dial, and you dial your divinity, and you come honestly, and every prayer in this book, Louis, this is where I'm at right now. I'm feeling lonely, I'm feeling despair. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I just had a fight with my boss. I feel as an outsider, I feel abandoned. I mean, all the human feelings that, believe me, we all feel every day. They are sitting right here in our belly. This is not who we are. This is the human condition that we are traversing. So, own it, bring it to the table and offer it. And in the offering, it starts to transform, but you must ask. And the asking is when you open your heart, just as a child, because as children we never censored ourselves, and you ask in your openness, in your vulnerability, and people say, well, I don't know who is listening. You are listening. It's really a conversation with you and your high self. It's really a conversation with you and your soul. Trust me, you have a soul. Right. Because it's in our eyes, it's in our breath, the holy breath, as they call it. It's in ourselves. That is giving us life. That is the presence. And how magnificent it is to learn to live in that. And people say, well, I meditate. And I said, Well, sweetheart, when you meditate, do you feel that you are loved or do you go into the nothingness? Okay, the nothingness is okay, you empty your mind, good for you, but open your heart. So I said, before you meditate, this is what I say, before I meditate, I take my hands, I put them in my heart, and I put them in my belly, and I tell myself, God, I'm feeling off today. I'm feeling worried. I have worry. I have angst. I still have angst. I wake up and I feel the angst. And I have to bring the higher vibration to myself. As I say, God is not a being, it's a state of being. It's a consciousness. You elevate, you're tuning in your instrument, your violin. And you're tuning in, and you go, take a few moments, connect with your breath, and you feel, oh, I'm anxious. I have to do this, and I have to do that, and I didn't do that. And oh my God, my bank account, I look at my American Express card, I have so many debts. Oh my God, how am I gonna pay? I mean, endless things. I've put on weight. I don't feel like exercising. My friends had an event and they didn't invite me. I mean, endless humanness. It's okay. It's okay because we all have it, whatever it is. No shame, no judgments. And you own it. And then it starts to dilute. And then the spirit comes in and says, I'm right here, beloved. It whispers sometimes, I'm right here. and you dare to go to your loving, to your heart. And then you ask and you say, you know, then you can make your to-do list. Then you ask, and then you go quiet. And then you lean back. And then you let yourself sip in, not just dip in. You go into that ocean, you go into that presence, and you stay there. And you come into the silence. Rumi said, God is silence, the rest is translation. Go into the silence, go into the stillness, go into the presence, my friends. This is what I wrote, these prayers, and the words are just a propelling, just you're turning on the engine, and then you're there, and then let the spirit reveal to you. You might, the spirit might say.

You.

Know, cancel that meeting today, go to that other thing. Your intuition now is activated. You know, we just have to oil the car. We have to put the gas in. We have to turn on the Wi-Fi. And the password is prayer.

So the human condition is something we're all in. We're all trying to get to the divine condition, is what I'm hearing you say, right?

Yes.

But a lot of us stay stuck in the humanness of the angst, the worry, the stress, the fear, the I'm not enough, self-doubt, the uncertainty of what's coming next. And what I'm hearing you say is when we go into prayer, we get into a space of meditation, prayer, stillness.

Yes.

We can start to get closer to the divinity that we're looking for, the love, the joy, the peace.

Exactly. Because guess where it is? It's right here. Right. But you know, that, that, that spirit never left us. What? Who left is us. It's like you walk out of your home, you know, and you walked out of your home and then you say, I'm lonely. And you say, well, honey, come back home. I'm right here. You know, and if I may share this prayer, you know, Luis, I've always struggled with loneliness.

When did that start?

I think it started as a young girl. My parents, my father, as I said, was a concentration camp survivor. I don't know if I shared this yet. And he had a lot of woundedness, as you can only imagine. A year and a half as a journalist, Greek journalist. And my mother took us away and there I was with my sister and Ariana, who was this genius girl who was actually just excelling at math and the school and at the age of 16 was studying economics to go to Cambridge. And I just was this actress, this joyful girl. And suddenly my father left. And I felt he shut down my father. He shut down his heart. He was in such pain. And I, here you are. I'm 12 years old. and I can't really express how I feel, right? So I have this sister who studies and is brilliant and all I want to do is be happy and I'm miserable and I'm dancing and I'm doing classes, but I had this woundedness that it took me years later in my life to heal the pain of I felt this is not the world I came in for. I felt a disappointment and a lot of Children carry that. I don't know about your child.

I felt lonely my whole childhood. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you feel, and as an outsider.

Absolutely.

Yeah. And then it carried on. I mean, you know, I went to become an actress, and I was at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, and I was extremely recognized. You know, I will do another show where I can act for all you listeners.

Perfect.

I can do Shakespeare, but not show the Greeks. I mean, it's just, the Govardhan and everybody said, oh, this woman is brilliant. And.

But why did you feel so lonely?

I was the child in me was not feeling able to express the child, the inner child, the agapiness, as I call it, not the adult, but that child felt, I'm not seen. I'm not recognized. I'm not, and I carried that that wouldedness. And I had relationships, I had, but never did I feel really, really seen. And it wasn't until I saw myself, till I saw myself, till I saw this vulnerable girl. And, you know, I'm not wearing it today, but I bought myself a diamond ring, a pearl with three diamonds, the most beautiful ring.

When was this?

That was much, much later. I was studying at the University of Santa Monica in Los Angeles. In the process of studying spiritual psychology, I had an experience. Actually, I was actually in the bathtub. You know, when you go in the bathtub and you totally relax, and I saw this little girl outside the house, like she had been exiled. And I was at that time, I started to produce a mini series. I was studying, I was working as an, I mean, I was trying to get my acting career going. I was like forcing into the world, out into the world to make it. Because I thought if I made it, this pain, this woundedness will go away. And it was like a knot in my stomach. Literally, I remember being in New York, raising funds, going to auditions and feeling this knot. And right there in that experience, I saw this little girl and I said, oh my God, I've left you. I've left you since you were 12. I took her in and I said, I've always wanted a man to give me a ring and say, will you marry me? So I bought this ring. It was very expensive at the time that I loved. And I said, I'm gonna marry you, baby.

Wow.

You're mine. And every day for two years, I did an inner bonding. I took that part of me. The projects never happened. My career never happened. The relationship with the man I thought I wanted never happened, but I happened.

Wow.

And I got Agapi.

That's cool.

And the day I got Agapi, not the day that it was a process, I said, I am now gonna share me unconditionally. and I felt the tsunami of love. I felt I'm gonna stand in front of people because I'm enough, not because I made the PBS specials, not because I got the big roles on Broadway, not because I got to star in Hollywood, because I am a beautiful human being. I have a beautiful heart that wants to love, and that's my gift, Agapi, unconditional love. and I'm gonna share it unconditionally wherever I go. And if I wanna act, I tell people, can I act now for you? I gave myself permission to get out, but I healed myself, Luis. That was the healing process.

And what happens if we never learn to heal ourselves? What happens to our life?

We end up having our heart shut down, you know, and living with your heart, I mean, If there's a message that I want to communicate to everyone is that your God is in your heart, your spirituality is in your heart. Who do you love? And start by liking you, giving yourself permission to be who you are. And then you get to love you by embracing you, by taking you in. So this poem I wrote many years later, may I read it? Yes. It's on page 108. It's called Coming Home. And I wrote it overlooking the Aegean. The chapter is called the Hidden Gifts of Being Alone, chapter 16. Have you been to Santorini or Mykonos ever?

I have.

You have?

Yes.

You know, when you're watching the vista.

Incredible.

Incredible.

It's incredible.

There's the presence.

It's awe inspiring.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

You know what happens? A lot of times I have couples who are, dAting or, you know, and they go to Santorini and then the guy says, Girl, will you marry me? And then they come back to New York in one bedroom apartment and he says, what did I do?

Right, right.

And I say, well, if you propose, wait until you are at home because you get hit with love.

I think a lot of us don't allow us to move in with ourselves. Exactly. We kick us out of our own homes. internally. Why do you think so many people don't like themselves, let alone love themselves and accept them to their own home?

You know, none of us, very few of us, let's put it this way, are raised with unconditional love. So if you are a little boy or a little girl and your parents or your teachers say to you, you know, you don't play good basketball like your brother or your best friend or your, or if you have parents who are fighting or you have parents who live, I mean, separate. And then you start to build these walls. And the walls are not good enough because look what's happening around me. As I said, I lived with my mother and my sister and my mother always used to say to me, I was lousy at math. I used to ask that My math teacher would die. And my mother used to say, We didn't bring you here for the math, we brought you here for the joy. So she never made me feel less then, you know?

That's beautiful.

So it was, I was brought, but even so, I had, you know, we all have our karmic woundedness, we are karmic insecurities. So we don't feel good enough, we don't feel worthy. And then we go after in the world and we try to accomplish things. They say, well, you know, go make money, get degrees, get a career. And if you have that, you can still be carrying your unworthiness and your good enoughness. But if you don't have that, then you feel lousy. And then you blame yourself, you feel, I'm not good enough. And there is this incredible soul in you, kind of watching, because, you know, the soul doesn't judge, and the spirit and doesn't judge. And let me just define what I mean by God. God, again, is a vibration. It's a state of consciousness. It's a field of love. So it is something that does not judge, period. So how do you get to that place? Is your inner work. And it's your healing work, and it's where you actually start to open up and pray for your solutions. for your teachers, for your direction, because we all want direction. We want daily direction and we want life direction. So it's more like building this map around you. And, you know, it's not a one size fits all. You know, some people might say, you know, I love my church. Some people say, I left my church. And now I get so many emails from people that say, I left the church, but why did I leave God? Why do you leave God? Because that's abandonment. Right. You know, don't leave your humanness, don't leave your inner child, and don't leave your God. You know, and for me, it was a process of realizing because I wasn't getting the parts I wanted as an actress and my career wasn't happening. And I did have a specific moment. I mean, I had a lot of different awakenings, you know, like, you know, stations of this happened, and I woke up to that, and this happened. And first of all, when the movie I came to Los Angeles didn't work out, I was 23, I made the choice because remember, we, every day, we have a choice. Do I choose the divine condition or do I choose my history? What do I choose to go towards? And if I choose the higher path, which can be unknown and uncertain, but I choose it and I trust it, then things start to open up. So I said, I'm going to stay in LA. I don't know what I'm going to do. And I started to read All spiritual books, Paramahansa Yogananda, the biography of a yogi, was one of my main awakenings. And I remember, because I was raised with a spiritual foundation of my mother, who taught us yoga and meditation when we were 12 years old. So I had a lot of spiritual foundation. But then, I had the longing to awake, to awaken, to awaken. And in reading that book, there is passages and passages that Paramahansa talks about the yogis who live beyond their bodies, who transcend their bodies and live for thousands of years and come back in their bodies. And I went, wow, wow, wow. And I fell asleep in the book and was awakened by a light. an inner light and an outer light. And it was like grace. And I fell on my knees and I said, I remember your credo, I believe, I know I'm a child of God. Now, who did that? It was divine intervention, as we say. You know, the light came in through my soul wanted to wake up. And from then on, I prayed for a teacher and I found my teacher, John Roger. and I started to embark on the path. Now, it's interesting, because every spiritual awakening we have, I believe it never, and she lived happily ever after. Then I had to take a journey. Leaps of faith. Leaps of faith. And when things kept not working out, I had to overcome the discouragement. I had to overcome the... How did.

You overcome the discouragement when things seemed to be like they were failing or you weren't getting the opportunity you wanted or the acting wasn't working out or whatever things weren't working out? The relationship, the things you wanted, you desired were not working as the way you saw them to work. How would you overcome discouragement to not diminish your love and joy for life still?

Trust in life. Trust in life. So the trust, and I think this is something that your father, Luis, had said. I love this quote, Divine love always has met and will always meet every human need. That is the fundamental truth that I believed in the midst of all the rejections. I mean, I remember, and I've said compassion when people don't get what they want over and over again, Because it's like building a pit in your stomach. And.

I.

Just want to reach to that pit and say, it's okay because that's not yours to get. When people say, I've been dating and dating and I don't get the guy or the woman and I get rejection, I say, well, that's not your person, honey. And maybe your person is just you right now. Okay? so they say, you know, don't worry about these people. Let them go. Bless them. Let them go. Let them go find someone else. It's you and you and your God. And. And I always say, you know, you are the one you're searching for. But for me, I had epiphanies, you know, like when I didn't get a Greek part. Williams Town with Nikos Zacharopoulos was doing. Six hours of adaptation of all the Greek plays, you know. I mean, and I thought, oh, I'll get something. It's all Greek. And I went and auditioned for him, and I remember I auditioned with Joan of Arc, you know, the amazing heroine who is, has this incredible monologue from Bernard Shaw. And I remember him calling me, and he says, My dear girl, it breaks my heart. He had a more Greek accent than me, but I cannot cast you for you're so talented. You're so talented, but I cannot give you anything because you don't have a big enough name like Sigourney Weaver and Susan Sarandon. I need the stars. And I said, I have a big enough name, it's Tasopoulos. Give me something. And he said, I can't cast you in the chorus because you have too much personality. You'll stick out. And I went into a New York City bus and I was going to my singing lesson. and I was so despondent. I had hit rock bottom. I was like Persephone in the underworld. And I said, this is not happening. I don't know how to make it happen. There I am, and now I'm in my 30s, right? And nothing is happening. And I go in and I sit next to a wonderful woman who is, and I start to talk because I'm Greek and I talk to everybody. And I said, how are you? And she says, I'm good. How are you? And I said, I'm terrible. I'm depressed. I didn't get the part. They said, what part? I said, I auditioned for this part. And I'm not getting the part. And she says, well, are you an actress? I said, tell her my story. She said, I was an actress. And I'm a nurse because I had to get a job for my son. I'm a single mom. So we have this amazing conversation. And she said, what do you audition with? And I said, Joan of Arc. And she said, oh, I love this monologue. Which one? And I said, the one that is, you promised me my life, but you lied. You think that life is nothing but not being stone dead. I could live on bread and water, but to shut me from the light of the day, to throw me in the dungeon and to chain my feet, you might as well burn me, burn me at the stake. And here I am speaking it out loud and the whole bus, and I said, 'Cause God is with me and what do I care if God is with me? I will be loved by people forever. And she's like, I'm just like all this anger and frustration. And the whole bus applauds me.

Wow. That's amazing.

And she takes my hand and she says, My dear girl, you are so talented, go do your own thing. That's cool. At that moment, I said, I got off the bus and I felt like six feet tall. And I said, you, know, I've got it. I just have to find it and give it to the world. Because I was always waiting for the world, you know, and I know you relate because that's what happened to you. You said, I have it. I'm gonna create it and give it to the world. And you created this body of work that's affecting many people. And that's what happened to me. I went and sung to my teacher and she said to me, Don't cry for me Argentina. I remember, I said, what happened to you? I said, what happened to me? He's like, I'm happening to me. I am taking this energy, this gift, and sharing it with the world.

That's an inspiring story. But the challenge is most people doubt themselves.

Yes.

A lot of people doubt themselves. They have self-doubt and you have a whole chapter about stand in your mighty self and banish self doubt.

Yes.

What became the process or the meditation or the prayer that allowed you to ground yourself when you felt doubt, when you felt like you didn't believe in yourself? Because we could all have those moments where, you know, our own metaphorical bus applauds for us. Right. And someone's like, you got this and we feel six feet tall. But then two days later, something doesn't work out.

Yes.

So what's the process for staying in a place of belief in self and not doubting?

You know, there have been many, many times where I am reading the chapter.

Yeah, chapter 23 is the self-doubt chapter as well.

Yes, standing in myself and being self-doubt, that's beautiful. Where I've brought people on the stage and I say, Anybody here has self-doubt and had discouragement going on? And people have stood up and I take them and I said, Can I touch you? And they said, Yes. And I start to shake them. I literally, and I said, you,'ve got to shake that straight jacket loose. You've got to really address it. It's not like, well, I have self-doubt and I don't know what to do with it. It's like you've got to go after it. Because, you know, Luis, these energies of self-doubt and discouragement, they move in like a hurricane and they start to destroy you. They start to eat you up. And I have such passion to say, what music do you love? La Bamba? You love Mexican music? Do you love Greek music? take it out, write it out, and just start to shake it and address it. Say, this is my discouragement. I am taking dominion over that. I am rising above that. I am telling you, get off my house, get off my butt, get off my shoulders. And you address it, you speak it, you tell a friend, and I've many, many times I've told friends, I'm doubting myself. I am feeling the discouragement cloak is coming over me. And that's when you pray. First of all, we start by saying, this is where you pray and you bring it to the table. And you come to your belovedness and you say, at that moment, you know, this energy can start kicking and it's powerful. But you are more powerful than that energy. So I quieten myself and come into the presence of my heart. And that is very important because quietening yourself, bringing dominion over it, literally seeing the canopy of love ascending on you. I call forward right now the power of my spirit. Believe me, the spirit lives in you as you that sustains and gives me life. Remember, 36 trillion cells are making you right now. like a positive tsunami of strength and persistence and resilience. And I let it move through my body. You can stand up, my friends, as you're doing this together, your mind, your emotions, and steady me. Steady me. And you really, you know, I feel like this Greek hutzpah of my mother, you know, coming the power of that, steady me as I am steadying myself. Okay? And then you take a breath and you exhale. I feel enveloped in the feeling of trust. And you let that trust come in and I see myself standing on the solid ground beneath my feet. I give myself permission to move forward to my next action with Spirit on my side, as I witness the part of me that wants to cave in, okay, give in and give into the doubt and fear. and it could be, my friend, step by step, I know that there is a mighty force in me that is connected to the infinite. How powerful is that? There is a mighty force in you that is connected in the infinite and feel the infinite, the planets, the worlds that are working with this energy that's making you is making billions and billions of stars and galaxies is the same energy, my friends. I close my eyes and I allow myself to be bathed in this mighty presence of the peaceful warrior that shows me how to carve my life's path. I march, I run, I hope, I somersault, I use my body to move through this wall. that is trying to shut me out, block my awareness, undermine me, and make me feel less than I am. I find the still point in me, I settle there. So, you know, it's a process of affirming it. And the reason I, the words, as I said to you, Lou, they were given to me when I was lonely and feeling separate and feeling my mental health was really suffering. Because for me, as you can tell, I'm such an extrovert.

Yes.

I was so tired of the Zooms and not being able to go to eat with people, go to the market. It was just awful. And I was so mad at God. And that's when I wrote how to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Yeah.

You know, and so how did you find that?

I think I just I mean, I talked to Spirit a lot, and I cried a lot, and I vented a lot, and I suffered. I mean, I literally walked through my suffering, but then I kept finding Spirit coming in and saying, But I'm still here. I'm still in the wind, and I'm still in the stars, and lie on the grass and be grateful that you can move, and you can talk, and that you have so much already. And so I moved into gratitude. I moved into gratitude.

And I-- what happened when you started to be in gratitude?

I read you this paragraph. My mind wandered to so many things I do every day, which millions of people do, that are so easy for us to access. I heard the voice of my heart whisper, Take a moment. Every time you do something that is easy, and accessible to you and hold it in reference the gifts of your life. When you get the inner calling, aim to make your life an offering to all those around you and give thanks to all those you may never meet who contribute to your life every day. So it was like, boy, this chair, how many people did it take to build this chair? How many people did it take to bring this chair to me? Can I be grateful for the chair? Can I be grateful for the hot water and the cold water? Can I be grateful when I turn on the switch and electricity comes in? Take a moment, Agapi. Take a moment and say, How did I get here? And I get to be the witness and the recipient of so much good. So my consciousness expanded. And it was like, let's go beyond Agapi's suffering and loneliness. and separation and go into the God self.

Yeah, I mean, it's. It's funny a lot in the last month, I've been thinking about this for whatever reason, that we are like ancient. I mean, we have a more godlike access than anyone in history in the sense of we're flying in a, you know, in the sky. Right. Who was it 100 years ago? No one was flying in the sky. We have a device that allows us to connect to anyone. in the world and see them. That is like the greatest, wealthiest gods, kings never had this access.

Exactly.

We want a steak now from our favorite restaurant is delivered in 20 minutes.

Exactly.

This was impossible so many years ago and we have so many things to be grateful for. But I think it's hard sometimes when we don't love ourselves, when we have a condition of a lack of gratitude, a condition of suffering or focusing on the human experience as opposed to the divine condition. And I think it's really easy to go back into lack, suffering, not enough, why is this not happening for me in a more beautiful way?

Exactly.

It's really easy, but there's so much to be grateful for.

Yes, absolutely.

So much.

And so much that we take for granted.

So much.

And constantly, I mean, that is the human condition, because to live in gratitude is to live in heaven. I mean, for me, it's like I call myself in gratitude because there's so many things that I too start to complain or, you know, the negative energy just moves you down. You know, there's gravity, and I call it the inner gravity of your thoughts and your emotions. takes you down, your body takes you down, because that's the law of gravity. But the inner gravity is something that I think we all fight daily. And the more we come and practice the presence and the gratitude, and again.

You know, I- what is the inner gravity? Speak more into that.

The inner gravity is those niggling little thoughts that the fears, what's going to happen tomorrow and what am I gonna do, and the insecurities, and the unhappiness of how our life is not exactly how we would like it to be, because it never really is. And it could be whether we listen to the news, and that can take you down in a second, right? Because there is so much bad news right now. And even the fact that I struggle with still, you know, all of us struggle with the pandemic, and none of us know what's going to be happening with the virus. Like we don't know from day to day, Luis. And every day we hear of cases. And you go to places and you go, oh my God, I hope I'm not gonna get it at the gas station or when I'm filling up. So that you were living with this Constant pool of uncertainty and fear and insecurity. And to bring yourself back to the present, it's almost like you've got to build that inner muscle. It's like your biceps, you know, you've got to do them every day. I don't, but you know, whatever it is you're on, your abs, whatever it is you want to build, it's your inner muscle. And for me, if you said to me, Agapi, what do you want more in your life? I say, Louis, I want to be grounded in my centeredness and calmness and joy because nothing else matters. And when I'm nodding that, I ask myself, what's pulling you down, darling? Now, I told myself, darling, you know, and I. And for me, it could be as simple as clean up my desk. And I. And I feel, you know, that's not what I like to do, you know? do my files. And then my dear friend of mine said, Light Watkins, who is a minimalist and a meditation teacher, I said, I struggle with how I don't like organizing my files and my papers and everything. It's so, or I want to exercise, but I don't exercise. And he said, for your desk, give up your desk and your files, and then you want, give it up. And then you have minimal things, you know, simplify. And for your exercise, let's think of all the thousands and millions of people who have no legs, who are in wheelchairs, who don't have what you have, and get up and exercise. Because when you think of how much you have, if you have your health, you have your greatest wealth.

Absolutely.

So from then on, how do you take down your inner gravity? You voice it, you write it down, and you say, what's pulling me down now? and then you start to reverse it by giving yourself a new direction, which is a daily thing. It's not something that you, I mean, judging yourself and being critical, our critical voices are like subliminal, subconscious. Right.

And what are we doing when we judge ourselves?

We compare ourselves. I mean, I know that's been one of my greatest downfalls, you know?

What happens to us when we compare and when we judge? What are we saying to the universe?

It tells us that we are not like someone else. So we are a failure, that we are not good enough, that we are not worthy, that we should have been this, we should have done that, I'm not here yet. And then we put so much emphasis on our physical world, who we are, what we've accomplished, what we haven't accomplished, what we would like. We focus on the lack. Oh my God, I have so many people who say to me, I'm focusing, I'm not enough. And I have a chapter in my other book, so enough of not feeling enough. And again, these voices, Name them so you can tame them. They are like these little creatures who are niggling. They are like these little flies that you want to get them off your skin. Name it so you can tame it. And once you tame it by owning it, do not hide what you call your negative self-talk. Don't hide it because then you give it power. I mean, how many of us have felt insecure or not good enough or rejected, or you feel, I'll never do this. And learning to own it and voice it, it's very powerful. And then talk to a friend. I have so many sweet friends, my little inner circle. And I can literally call someone and they say, How are you? And they say, oh, you don't sound good. I say, Let's pray. Because what happens is if you pray at that moment, you shift. Prayer is this quick shift. And in the book I have, like, for example, here I have Quick God Fix for the pressure of a deadline or a delay. Please help me expand the limitations of man's time and reach into the expansion of God's time. So there's a girlfriend of mine who said the other day she was on a date and she really liked the guy, but she felt, she started to feel flooded with insecurities.

She started feeling it?

Yes, and she felt, oh, I really like him, I don't think he likes me. She started to go into complete, like within 20 minutes into the date, she says, I want it, but it's not gonna go there because she did all this fantasy. And so she went to the bathroom, and called me.

Wow.

And I said, let us pray. Let us pray that you may know how valuable you are, that you are a gift to any man. And let us pray that you disconnect that. If this is for you, let it come. If it's not for you, have a nice cup of coffee. Let it go. And we just literally, Louis, we did. I don't know how long. I mean, it was like a minute, a minute prayer. She lit up, and she said, she went back, and they had the most amazing connection. And they said a second date and the third date. There hasn't been a relationship.

Sure.

But she's having a good time with this guy because she opened up to be in herself.

And she's not attached to the results.

Yeah, give me this. Or, you know, that is, I mean, that is a whole other podcast about what we do with relationships. But I want to encourage everybody to embrace that prayer. Make it your own. It's your conversation with your inner lover. Find your inner lover. And as I have this great quote from Rumi when he said, you are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in the drop. Okay? And why I love that, because it gives me the visual that here I am, you know, this body and this consciousness moving around, but this body, this consciousness, this person is fully connected because I'm breathing and I'm alive. And so rekindle your enthusiasm. I have to read you this first prayer. I have it here. Let us see. Finding the rekindle your enthusiasm for a brand new day. Reviving your enthusiasm for each new day. It's chapter 10, page 57. And because, you know, Louis, we all get up in the morning and we all kind of feel, oh, here I go again. And we shouldn't feel that way because today could be the day that you will wake up to who you are. Today might not be the day that you close the deal. Right. Today might not be the day that you are recognized or that you, you know, something magnificent happens to you outside. But today might be the day that you know who walks with you. And the day that I made Spirit my partner, and now, you know, my sister and I and my friends, whenever we waver and we're having a hard time, they say to me, who's your partner? I said, God is my partner. Okay, go do your day. Because then you give over to the higher power. And again, find the name that connects with you. Is God your high power, the universe, the I Am, the Om, the transcendent spirit in the sky. But own it and say for me what connects me is to say life force. This is my life force. Okay, you want to call it God. Unfortunately, God is such a bad rap because it's brought such division in our world. So, and prayer is a bad rap and prayer is the treasure box. Prayer is your key. You've got the golden key. You've got the golden key. Take it. and open it and make it your own. I gave you the words because those were given to me. But, for example, let's say I read. I read this every day now. Today is not just another day that piles on from yesterday. Today is a brand new day because I'm breathing, I'm alive, and I can tap into endless possibilities. and how grand is that? And I love this phrase that says, I welcome this brand new day and I ask that I may look at this day with brand new eyes, not assuming it was like yesterday. So make it new, make it exciting because you are exciting. So when people say, I don't know what my purpose is or I don't know what my niche is. And you know, people struggle with that so much. I haven't found my niche yet. Somebody said to me the other day, it was a guy who had many failures in his businesses, and he opened up to me, Luis, and I was so grateful. He said, I don't know, this isn't working, this isn't working, this is... And I said, Bless them all, because you are working, honey. You are alive and you are well. and your niche and your purpose is to wake up to the transcendent, to the beauty that you are, to the soul that you are. That's your goal. Now, you can go do these other things and some will work, some might not work. But if you have that lifeline, because you say, I'm here, you know, by the end of your life, When you're dying in your deathbed, you're not gonna say, well, you know what? I made a few million dollars in my business. Who cares? They're still in the bank. You're leaving. And I did this, but it was like, who did you... Did you go to God? Did you know so that when you go, you live more elevated? And did you give? Did you offer, my mother used to say, when the people said, I love, like people who say to her, I love this necklace and my mother would take it off and give it to people. He was like so generous. And the person would say, what can I give you back? And she would say, It's not a tray, darling. It's an offering. So, you know, who did you offer? Because when you start to offer, like, the woman in the bus, you know, I offered my, the worlds open up and you start to feel rich. Most people say, well, I don't have anything to give. You don't? Can you smile when you give? You can give joy.

This is something that I, when I was starting out, I was 25, I guess, 24, 25, after I was playing football and got injured. I didn't know what I was gonna do the rest of my life. I was 24. I had no purpose because my purpose was to play sports and then that was done when I got injured. And I remember thinking to myself, I didn't get a college degree yet. I finally did, but at the time I didn't have a degree. This was in 2008 when the economy was crashing, the housing market was crashing, and people weren't hiring at that time. It kind of feels like right now back then in the economy.

Right, right.

And they weren't hiring people without college degrees. at the time, and I didn't have any skills in the workforce, I thought, at the time.

Right.

Because I struggled in school. And I remember thinking to myself, how am I going to get people to connect with me? How can I get in front of leaders in the community, executives, CEOs, so that I can meet them and learn from them? And I was like, I don't think I have anything to offer to them, but I can be curious. I can ask them how they overcame their challenges and I can ask them how they became successful because everyone loves to share their story of success. I can bring the joy because a lot of people are stressed and overwhelmed. They don't have joy in their life. So I can use my time and energy to bring joy for the moment. And I can try to connect them with other people who have skills. You know, as I build my network, maybe I can't help them, but I can connect them with someone that could.

Wow.

And that process allowed me to develop deep relationships in my early 20s when I didn't feel like I had other tangible skills to offer. And I think the joy is something we all can tap into and bring to any moment and really create a meaningful relationship with someone.

So, it's partly what happened to you then is you got out of your own way.

Absolutely.

And that takes humility. and takes vulnerability. But it is ultimately the greatest, you then became bigger, you became taller, right? Because now you are using you to allow other people to meet, you became like this midwife.

Exactly.

You know, this incredible emissary, conduit, emissary you call them.

Sure.

You became an emissary of goodness. And that's incredible, you know, People can just do that.

That's all you need to do. You need to show up with love. Yeah, show up with joy.

They say to me, I met these new people, I don't know what to say in new environments. Ask them about them. I say, but why would they want to talk to me? Why wouldn't they want to talk to you?

Exactly.

So it's like, don't reject yourself before you are rejected.

And this is something when I, early in business as well, I was like, I don't have anything to talk about that I've done except for playing sports. I don't have anything to brag about. I don't have some company yet.

Yes.

And I remember thinking, I don't need to talk about myself. I can ask interesting questions about them and listen. And I remember I'd go to these events and I would just ask questions and listen and I would never speak. I would never say anything about me. And afterwards, they're always like, you're the most interesting person here. And I'm like, I didn't say anything. I just asked you interesting questions. And I think that creating a space for someone to share their story makes them feel seen, makes them feel heard, and makes them feel special. And that's a gift that you can give. You were talking about offering. I'm curious, how old were you or roughly how old were you when you were in the bus doing this with the woman in the bus?

I was 33.

33. If you could go back into that state for a moment, and with the wisdom and the experience you have now at 43, If you could go back and offer your 33-year-old self three pieces of wisdom, knowing what you have gone through over this last years, what would you offer to yourself back then to prepare her for what was to come?

Yes. First of all, I want to say that to encourage anybody who feels their old to start or to say something. My true work in the world, let's put it this way, because my calling started when I was born, because I came in as a soul who wanted to wake up and bang, that was my blueprint. As you know, I was married very young. I'm not married now. I don't have children. My nieces are like my children. So I'm a single woman. that's fulfilled, happy on a mission and knows her purpose. And why, how did I get there? Is the journey of how, you know, the chapters of my life. If you, and I want to look in the camera, I don't know if this is the camera. If you ever feel you are too old to start anything, I didn't really start my work gently, step by step. Tilah was 42. 42 years old. I wasn't married. I didn't have children. I had no work, but I knew I wanted to do this one-woman show. Okay? Up until 42, I was building my spiritual energy. I was building myself. I get to know myself, but I didn't know how to ground all that in the world. So that up until then, I have to tell you, I was walking on wobbly ground. I never felt, people said to me, what do you do? And I went, well, I don't know what. I'm waking up, I'm taking classes, I'm studying, I'm evolving. But, you know, in the world that didn't mean anything, right? So, what I would tell that girl.

Is, what offering would you give her?

I would give her the offering that I want you to know that you are loved, no matter what, that you are beloved to. To God, to the universe. And I love you, Agapi. And I know it's not going to be easy. I know there's going to be many times where you feel alone, you feel you don't have it, and you know you have it, but you don't know how to give it. and that was the pain. I have it, but I don't know how to give it. And I know that it's gonna take time, but you and I are gonna get there. And when we get there, it's going to be so good. And you're gonna feel so purposeful. And in the meantime, I'm holding your hand and you'll never walk alone. And I love you and just know that. you can always come to me, and if you don't know how to come to me, there'll always be people around you. But life is going to be good.

Yeah.

And don't be afraid. Don't be afraid.

That's beautiful. I think sometimes we don't feel like we have that support system, that Mentor, that parent figure that gives us that type of encouragement, that type of unconditional love. Like you just gave your younger self.

Yes.

And it's probably hard to find that person internally if you're doubting yourself, if you feel limited, if you feel stressed or overwhelmed, like things aren't going your way. But I think what you've talked about is always going back into a prayer, getting back to a place of, okay, you're back in your humanness. How do we get closer to the divine condition and go into that space, the bridge, the phone call, to that prayer to get closer to that. And I think that is a beautiful opportunity for so many of us to grow into.

Yes.

It's to find that space in between the unknown.

That's right, the unknown. And it's going to be unknown until we die. And because death is the ultimate unknown, you know. And what I wanted are your listeners whom I love. I mean, I love them because they are so devoted to your incredible message. First of all, to, I want to give my email because people can email me at agapi@unbindingtheheart.com because I believe it is about unbinding the heart. Because when your heart is bound, you're not going to feel happy or fulfilled. And unbinding the heart is not just to you. And that's my third book that I wrote, you know, unbinding the heart in unbinding the heart, you find your spirituality, you find your love, you find your true calling. It is truly in the heart. In the heart it is written, it is your blueprint. It is given to you as you incarnate. And your challenges are part of you finding that. And nobody does not have challenges. So please be compassionate to yourself and each other. when, you know, nobody. And that's what I realized once I opened my heart after all I'd gone through. I said, my God, everybody's like me. I can just love them. And then I could go to any room and just feel open, Louise, like you are. It's like, why would I hide that from people? Why would I hide my love? So let your love not just be your little inner circle. Let it open up to reach to the strangers. And that's the greatest purpose in your life because suddenly you say, oh my God, I run into this person at the coffee shop. We ended up talking and I ended up helping them just by talking to them. You can be a bridge for the lonely and there is so much loneliness out there and why, why? It's so sad that we have so much that we can give. And so get out of your own prism of your own reality, of your own bondage in a way. We keep ourselves in bondage because of our conditionings and our judgments and our not good enoughness and shake yourself up and shake your friends up, you know, touch them. By the way, touch people a lot. If somebody is upset or worried, take your hands, you know, your palms have spiritual energy. You know, hold their hands and say, Let's pray together. And you say, well, I don't know how to pray. Pray to your life force. Let's pray to your breath. Dare it. For people who've forgotten how to pray, dare it. Just that's the courage. You know, the day, that's a whole other story. that I had a Greek millionaire doing a project together. And that didn't work out. That's one of the many things in my life that didn't work out. And I remember I had the studio wanted to do the project. And he said, I don't like the studio. I don't like the contract. And I said, well, listen, if you're not gonna do it, I'll do it by myself. And he said, you can't because I'm your partner.

She was my partner.

And I said, no, God is my partner.

Oh, wow.

And I remember I took a yellow pad and a red pen and I wrote it and stuck it outside my bedroom door. Every time I went to my office or my bedroom door, I open, I see God is my partner. And the day that I said that, I shook because the force of the Spirit is not Lily Daddy, it's a force. I mean, it gives birth. I mean, you know, it's the force. It's like the force of nature. You've seen how when the nature is, you have the tornadoes and the tsunamis and we see it, you know, and there is a force. That's the force that we have. And that's the force that I saw my mother say, put down the guns. And that's the force we all have, but we're afraid of it. Right. So don't be afraid of your power, your force, no matter what you have or you don't have, and then let that guide you.

This has been powerful Agapi. I'm so grateful for your wisdom, your message, and your voice. This book is extremely inspiring and powerful. It's going to help a lot of people get to a place of peace, which I feel like a lot of people are lacking.

Peace.

I think when we pray, when we meditate, it gives us a moment of bridging the gap from pain into peace and getting closer to that space, which so many of us are trying to get out of suffering and into a beautiful state. Speaking with Spirits, 52 prayers to guide, inspire, and uplift you. I highly encourage you guys take a look at this. Go get a few copies, give some to your friends. you can get them online on your website as well, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, all the great places. So make sure you guys pick up a couple of copies of this. Agapi, I've got a couple of final questions for you. This one's called the Three Truths, which I know we talked about before. But imagine hypothetical, you get to live as long as you want, but it's the last day for you. And you continue to create and spread your message and write more and share more. But for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario, you've got to take all of your work with you. So no one has access to your prayers anymore, your books, hypothetical scenario. This conversation is gone. No one has access, right? I know, I know. I know. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world, three things that you believe to be true that you would share with us. And this would be all we have to remember your message by. What would you say are those three truths for you?

When you were born, God, the Divine, put your blueprint in your heart. Your job on this earth is to find it, to discover it, to open it, and to live it. You have it. you have the light. You came from the light. And when the darkness comes in, turn around and look into the light.

That's beautiful. I want to acknowledge you, Agapi, and I want to acknowledge you for your courage to continue on. throughout your life, through the many different stages of your life, from what it sounds like a lot of different challenges and struggles in your early career, trying to figure things out, believing in yourself, and never giving up on your blueprint, the blueprint that you were given to serve, to inspire, to teach, to educate, to entertain in the way that you do in such a beautiful way. So I acknowledge you for the gift that you've given to so many of us. It's really beautiful. And I acknowledge you for this book. I think it's going to help a lot of people. Again, go from a painful place to more peace.

That's right.

I'm really grateful for our time today. I want people to connect with you online, your website, your social media. Which sites should we send people to to connect with you more?

Wake up to the joy of you.com, my website, Agapi sees, my Instagram, I put inspiring content like you do, of course, Facebook. But I'm more of an Instagram guy. Okay, Agapi says on Instagram, right?

Agapi says.

Agapi says. Agapi says, yeah, S-E-E-S. Agapi says, yes, I see. And then I put it out. And as I said, Agapi and Binding the Heart, I'll send you my meditations. Would so appreciate it if when you get the book, you read one of the prayers and post it. It means so much to me when I have people reading the prayers and share the book with others. So that this wave of calmness, because the book has this vibration of calmness and love and joy can reach out to many. For me, it's my offering. It was given to me and now I offer it. And I always say, Louis, I'm just a gopi. I'm just a girl who came from Greece with beautiful, wonderful parents. There were many times we didn't have money. My mother made it all happen. And this journey is very human. So I come from a place of total humanity to speak about God and Spirit. I don't have a church. I don't, I'm not like a teacher. I'm a teacher of the heart.

Yes.

So what I, what I've always, I love your acknowledgement to me because for me, the teaching is because of my journey. And whatever people have gone through or are going through, I relate. I relate because I've been through it. And I almost feel like life gave me to go through it so I can then teach it. and then show people like you did. You know, you had the adversities and the accidents and then you found it. And now you can go say, Hey, I found it so I can show you all and share it with you. But we come from the same cloth. You and I come from the cloth of, we're here to share our hearts, our love, and what we've known.

Absolutely. I love this. Agapi, final question, what's your definition of greatness?

This is a great moment. This, this. What you and I just had. And together, this. The listening, the receptivity, the sharing, the openness, the absolute presence that you give to your people. There is not a moment in this conversation that I felt you were thinking of something else. You brought presence that allowed me to bring my presence. So let me just finish with my mother's famous word, don't miss the moment. Because, my friends, it's in the moment that the gift is hidden and revealed. And often we go, oh, I'm talking to so and so, but is there someone more important? I'm now cooking or cleaning the dishes. Is there something more important to do? This is important. This moment is when you are alive and you're breathing and you're well. That is the gift. That is greatness. Be in the presence in the moment. Give yourself that gift, not thinking that you should be doing something else. And maybe you're sitting there by yourself in your computer or in your phone. and you just put it aside and you take a pen and you say, let Spirit speak to me and you listen. And Spirit says, thank you for serving me today.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys, so share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something Great.