5 COMMON MYTHS ABOUT THERAPY // Is therapy only for the really "big" things?

There are a lot of myths available to us in the world about therapy. We hear them word of mouth on social media and society on media, whatever the case may be. But we hear a lot of things. If somebody had a bad experience with therapy or with a therapist, and then they talk about it with their friends and that word spreads or people just make assumptions, all of these things happen that give people this idea of what therapy is or or isn't. And we as therapists tend to dispel myths a lot. We answer questions, or we have somebody who comes in because they want help and they feel skeptical, and rightfully so. You should ask questions. Every therapist is different. Every approach is different, and there are so many different ways to go about helping somebody from a professional standpoint. So you absolutely should ask questions and find the modality and the person the therapist with who's going to work best for you. But in general, I, as a therapist, see a lot of myths that I think are important to dispel so that people aren't deterred from getting help or asking for support or calling a therapist and making that appointment. The first thing that I hear a lot is that I can't change the past, so I can't do anything about what's going on in my life. And we know that, that the case. We know people can change. We can set goals and make decisions for our lives. But a lot of people do have this idea that there's nothing I can do. The myth is that there's nothing we can do about the past, which you're correct. We can't go back in time. I wish we could. There's a lot of things we could probably go back and do better or differently once we've learned something about that experience. Hindsight's always 20 20. There isn't anything we can necessarily do to change the past. But there are things we can do about our beliefs about the past that can help change us when we're moving forward. So looking at the past in therapy isn't about wanting to change it. It's about being able to recognize patterns and seeing how things have played out and impacted you so that you can do what you want to do when moving forward. We have to get away from this idea that there's nothing we can do about the past. Therapy isn't about being focused on changing the past. It's about being able to learn from it and continue to move forward in your life. The second big myth I see about therapy is that if I go to therapy, it means I'm Weak. If I ask for help, it means there's something wrong with me or that I can be seen as weak. And that cannot be further from the truth. We know that people who ask for help want to grow, they want to get better. And that's where strength comes in. The strength to be able to look at what we've done or decisions that we've made, take responsibility for our lives and be willing to do the work to become our best self. That to me is strength, not this idea that if I go and ask for help or I have a therapist that I'm a weak person. It means I'm bringing somebody into my life that's going to give me that 40,000 foot view that I can't necessarily see because I'm down here in the trenches living my life and I need a different perspective. Seeing a therapist isn't about being weak or not being strong enough to deal with your problems on your own. It's about wanting that perspective. And there's a lot of things therapists can teach you to, to cope with your mood or whatever is going on, change, and things like that that you just might not have been taught or you don't have the skills to deal with. And we as therapists, as professionals can give you. Seeing a therapist isn't about being weak. Trust me. Treatment isn't easy. Most of my clients who are doing a lot of work and constantly processing and working on themselves to set goals and achieve them and become the best versions of themselves that they can be, are putting in a ton of work. So this idea that treatment or therapy means you're weak couldn't be further from the truth, because it actually takes a whole ton of strength to be able to be that introspective and willing to kind of rip off the band aids needed in order to heal some of those wounds and move forward in life or learn the skills or, or take responsibility or any of the things that you want to work on. The third myth that I can quickly dispel is that if I go to therapy, I'm going to be put on medication. If you go to the doctor and they write you a prescription, you don't have to fill it. The doctor can't jam pills down your throat, so you still have a choice. But when you come to therapy, I can't even prescribe medication. A psychiatrist who has been to med school, they, they can prescribe medication, but there's plenty of people who go and get a psychiatrist's opinion who don't go on medication. Now that's generally what they do. If somebody is seeing a psychiatrist, it's usually not the rule, but it's usually not for therapy and ongoing treatment. It is for an opinion, a consultation or medication management. That is their scope of expertise. And then I always recommend if somebody's on medication, that they also see a therapist. Because if you are taking something, I think you should also be working through whatever got you there in the first place. So if you come see me and you want a referral, I'll give you a referral for a local psychiatrist. But I can't prescribe medication. And just because you're going to see a therapist doesn't mean that you have to see a psychiatrist or, or you have to go to your doctor to be put on medication. I have plenty of clients. In fact, most of my clients don't even take any medication. They just do therapy. So this idea that if I go to therapy, I'm gonna be put on medication, I've now busted that. A couple of last myths that I see a lot is that therapy is for people with serious issues. You do not have to be going through a catastrophic event or have experienced. Experienced trauma in order to see a therapist. I have plenty of people who come to me because they're just going through some change or they're struggling with stress or whatever it may be and they need some help navigating that area in their life. Or people who just need a third person to talk to that isn't their friend, isn't a co worker or isn't their spouse or a family member. And they need somebody who's removed from their life, who can have a totally unbiased view and they just need that outside person to talk to. So if you want to see a therapist, it doesn't mean that you don't because nothing catastrophic has happened or you haven't experienced abuse or some kind of complex trauma. You can see a therapist if you just need somebody to talk to. If you just need that outside person who you can kind of jam with and maybe learn some skills, skills along the way. But therapy is not just for trauma or working through those really quote, unquote serious issues. Anybody can see a therapist. If you just have something on your mind that's bugging you, go see a therapist. It also doesn't mean that you have to go all the time or once a week. I have plenty of people that when they get to a certain point, we check in once a month or every couple months, or if there's something going on in their lives, they Call me to check in and talk something through. So it is not just for serious issues and it's not only for intensive weekly sessions and treatment and stuff like that. Therapy can kind of look like however you need it to look. Whatever is going to fit your life. Don't stop yourself from seeking help or seeing a therapist because you just think, think that it's only if somebody has something really serious going on. Last big therapy myth that I hear a lot is that I don't need therapy. I can just talk to my friends. Friends are amazing. I love good, healthy, functioning relationships. They're really important to our lives. Humans are social creatures. We need those interactions and those friendships. So while your friends might be great to talk to, if you are struggling with something, or if you're going through something, or if you've experienced trauma, whatever that looks like in your life, your friends might not have the skills that you need to cope. There's a lot of things that we teach our clients that friends might not know. So yeah, you can totally talk to your friends and it might feel very cathartic and helpful to process through things. But your friends are also going to have a very biased opinion because they're your friends. They might not give you that 40,000 foot view or that unbiased perspective that a therapist can give you because we're removed from your life, we don't see you on a daily basis. And we also tend to think differently and look at situations and things differently. We have just a different perspective. We can extrapolate things and ask you questions to get you thinking that, that your friends just might not be able to do because they're not professionally trained like we are. So friends are great. Talk to your friends. I absolutely think you need people in your life to talk to and process through things and you should have a very strong support system. But if you don't feel like you're getting what you need from your friends, or there's skills that you want to learn, or you've been struggling with anxiety or depression and, and you talk to your friends and it's helpful, but you're still struggling, you might need that professional perspective. So friends are great, but it's not necessarily therapy. Always just going to your friends. Like I said, there's a lot of myths about therapy, counseling, psychology, out into the world. Because it is kind of this fluffy concept that people just come into our offices and they lay on our couch and they just talk and their problems magically go away. That's not what therapy is. There's a Lot of skills. There's a lot of processing, and there's a lot of things that we do professionally to help our clients. And a lot of the healing takes place within the relationship itself. A lot of people just need that person that. That isn't a friend, isn't a colleague, isn't a family member that doesn't have that personal connection, but that they can still develop a trusting, healthy relationship with that in that relationship, they can work through things. So therapy isn't just this idea that people just come in and talk. Obviously, that's a huge part of it, but there's a lot more that goes into the therapeutic process. People just often make assumptions because they don't understand it, or they've unfortunately had a bad experience and it's left a bad taste in their mouth. And then they just think that I had this experience means every therapist does this or this is gonna happen no matter where I go. I never want you to think that just because one thing has happened or you've had a bad experience, that that means we're all like that, or we're all going to replicate that experience for you. I encourage you to form your own opinion. If you've had a bad experience, be relentless in your pursuit of finding somebody who works for you or finding a modality that works for you. There's tons of different ways to do therapy, but when we buy into these myths, it can stop us from getting the help that we need. So hopefully that helps give you an idea of what I see as a therapist in the world as far as myths and the things that are constantly perpetuated that are keeping people from getting the help that they need. And if you are wanting to see a therapist or make that phone call to make the appointment, please do so on your own accord and try to go into it with an open mind. But also ask questions and let go of any assumptions that maybe you might have made already based on what you see on social media or in the media, or what you hear people talking about. Let me know in the comments if you have any other assumptions about therapy that you want me to dispel or that you have questions about, or if you've had a bad idea about therapy or a myth that has now been busted for you because you've had a good experience and you learned that that myth was. Was actually untrue. I will see you back here next Wednesday with another video.