Tech is Easy. People are Hard!

Everybody, it's Lynne Levy from the Inspired Product Leader program. Today I want to talk about interpersonal challenges. Specifically, the best way to level up in the world of product management is to understand how to effectively communicate with people. So I want you to think about a couple things first. So how much of your day do you spend on interpersonal challenges? I don't know, managing an angry salesperson who's frustrated because a key customer requirement isn't on the roadmap, or managing a chief product officer who doesn't understand why the schedule can't be cut in half, or interacting with another product manager who suddenly needs your Scrum team. Interpersonal issues, they are a significant source of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm for product managers. I have product managers who will call me and their marriages are on the line because of the stress. Others who were on the leadership track are suddenly on a performance improvement plan because they may have a VP who does not like them. Most times these challenges, again, are due to communication issues. Being able to communicate up, down, and across and organization is key to moving into leadership. First, what's interesting is social psychologists estimate that 40 to 60% of the meaning of what you communicated is actually lost. Wow. Over half of what we communicate to sales, engineering, marketing, and leadership is misunderstood. Some studies even suggest that over 90% of the meaning that we derive from messages comes from nonverbal cues. So being clear in our communication is critical for innovation, teamwork, and leadership, because the reality is all we do as product managers is communicate. So here are just some real basics about communication. I recommend just keep these in mind and stick it on a sticky note in front of your computer. So the first thing is listening. Most of the time we listen to respond. We're listening, but we're really not. We're listening while at the same time our head is thinking about how we want to respond. So we're actually formulating our response. We need to listen intently to the words, to the context, to the meaning and the emotions behind what is being said. So when you're listening, I want you to listen, Quiet the mind, pause, and then respond. So how else do we do this besides quieting our mind? Certainly don't multitask. The email and Slack messages can wait. Turn your phone over, close your screen. I actually recommend people take notes on their notebook versus online. Look the other person in the eye. And if you, if you find your mind wandering or again, listening to respond, actually stand up, change your body. And then lastly, just take a deep breath to quiet the mind. Because as product managers, because we're always communicating, because one of our superpowers is empathy, we need to listen. The second thing is we need to assume positive intent. When dealing with an interpersonal challenge, how often do we assume the other person is, I don't know, either out to get us or just a nasty person? To effectively communicate, we need to put aside judgment and we, we have to assume the other person wants what is best for the product and the organization. And the thing is, once you put aside judgment, you can then start to ask good questions to understand where their point of view is coming from. Okay, it's only then that you can effectively manage the challenge and come up with a good solution. All right, the next thing for communication is do not overstate or understate. We all have our favorite products. With all of the communication challenges, we need to be straightforward in the realities of the market and the key KPIs we're dealing with. So for example, when presenting a business case, Don't just show the KPIs that help it. Show all of the relevant KPIs. I have never seen a time when a product manager who overstated or understated metrics, it never turns out well. Next, I want you to glean information from nonverbal communications. When we're listening to others, including customers, leadership, or stakeholders, pay attention to their nonverbal actions. What is the tone of their voice? What are their facial expressions? Do they look stressed or nervous? Remember, 90% of communication is nonverbal. And then lastly, I want you to simplify the complicated when you're communicating. One of the significant skills of being a product leader is to take complex issues and simplify. Yes, some people do need to understand the details. However, for a good chunk of our communication, start simple. Then as people ask questions, drill down into the details. So many product managers tell me that everyone needs to understand all of the details. This is wrong. The challenge is people are busy and they have a lot of issues in their head. Keep it simple so they can understand, and then if needed, go into the details. So to move into leadership, to be happy at work and inspire your teams, we need to learn as product managers how to effectively communicate. And this is what my product management clients learn as part of my programs. And it's nothing short of amazing, the results. They get promotions, they get significant raises, and they're comfortable in their own skin when presenting. So if you're done with being stuck in your career, if you want to level up and you're ready to take action, then I encourage you to lean into the fear, have courage, and then set up some time with me and we'll build a strategy to help you move forward in your product career. I promise it will be a powerful hour that will help get you back on track. Okay, so again, this is Lynne Levy. I'm a product management mentor and leadership coach. Feel free to reach out with any questions.