BRAND NEW: Client Boundaries vs Customer Service- Finding the Right Balance
Marcie Muensterman explores how travel advisors can offer generous service without burning out. She shares lessons from recent burnout, including the importance of segmenting clients, setting clear hours, charging what your work is worth, and refilling your own cup first.
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Hey there! Welcome to The No BS Travel Advisor. This is the solo edition. Just me, Marcie Muensterman, my mouth, my mistakes, and the real stories from 19 years in this wild-ass industry. There will be no guests here. No censorship, no filters, just the truth behind how I burned out, rebuilt, and finally learned to run this business like the CEO that I am. And if you're an independent advisor who suspects your host might suck, hate Working for free and appreciates a well-placed F-bomb, you're in the right damn place. So let's go. Hey y'all, how are you? Welcome back to the No BS Travel Advisor Podcast. I'm Marcie Muensterman, and I am going off the cuff today. I do not have a script. I don't have an agenda. I just wanted to talk to you guys. It's been a long time since I released an episode. And I have been wanting to get back to this so badly. So first I'm going to give you a little update on what has been happening with me. And then of course I have some thoughts. I have some things that I have been experiencing that I want to share with you. So first, what has been going on with me? Well, since my last release, I have completed Lead the Manifest spring semester with 55 amazing women, and it was the most Incredible experience and also incredibly stressful. I think a lot of the times somehow I managed to make what I do look easy and seamless on the outside, but I am like a duck paddling really hard to get everything done. Very similar to you guys, and I like to work short hours, and it has become apparent to me that I have turned back time and I am in a workaholic mode. I have been writing and preparing Lead the Manifest since January of 2020. The very first time I ever taught it, coached it, was last January 2025, and I genuinely didn't anticipate the excitement that would come from me writing this group's course. It is unlike anything else that's on the market. I did a lot of research, and I felt that what I had to offer was unique, or I wouldn't be offering it. A lot of you. Almost like want me to write things and do things and teach things that to me there are already great resources and even free resources available to you. So I don't always like jump right into writing, but I don't think you guys realize how much time and effort a unique, original-minded course actually takes to write. It is like the longest process. And in fact, as of the filming of this podcast, I'm not even quite done with Lead the Manifest. I ended up writing it in live time. And the reason I did that was because I actually lost my online business manager. It was still quality, but the timing was just not conducive to how I like to work. And it became contentious. It was very much my issue that I could not adapt and be flexible to her new working style. And It wasn't the first time she'd changed her working style on me in 3 years. Of course, things have altered and gone in different directions, but essentially we fell out in February and it was awful. Like it was awful for me. I became almost entirely paralyzed. I had already started writing Lead the Manifest and I had a lot of it done and I had, you know, really expected her to be there side by side with me as she had been for so long. And it was really tough on me. I think I really didn't take stock of any of that until very recently. I miss her dearly, but I also know that things in business and in friendship and in life and in relationships, they come and go. And I always have to take some responsibility of why things end. And I always have to look at that deeper. And I didn't have the capacity at the time. To do that and write Lead the Manifest. So it didn't get done until I was actually teaching it. And I actually am so happy that it turned out the way it did because I was really able to meet the women in Lead the Manifest where they were as I was writing it. And in fact, heading into fall semester, which started this week, I am updating Lead the Manifest in live time, which is why it's not finished. But it's, it's one of those courses that I don't think will ever be finished because we learn together. And that's my coaching style. It's adjusting and coming alongside you in the moment that you are in, right? And it's also learning that there are no certifications in the world that can teach you how to meet people where they are until you're actually doing it. And I think like one of the things I think about when I call myself a coach is very much that I know how to teach. I know how to come alongside people in their toughest moments and allow them to focus and build a plan. And that's essentially what I did for myself during the last spring and Lead the Manifest. And it's also why I didn't really have a lot of energy to podcast and be vulnerable because I do talk about what's going on with me on the podcast and it was a really tough first 2 quarters. And of course in business, we're always like quarter 1, quarter 2, but it was really the first 6 months that really didn't come easy. And I think that is so common in entrepreneurship. And this coaching thing that I'm doing, this little coaching thing, somebody called it that the other day. I was like, okay, is just like building a travel business. It's from the ground up. It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and actual tears. And there were a lot of tears this year. And it takes perseverance. And it's not about being fake, but it is about Showing up when it's hard and being your whole authentic self. And the one thing I pride myself on is my storytelling and making sure you guys know where I'm coming from, because I learn a lesson every single time something like this happens. And in fact, the whole last year, I actually lost two friends who were both in business with me. And sometimes I wonder, is this a good idea to keep hiring my friends? Is it a good idea to? Build friendships with people I hire. And, you know, I'm going to say this and it might not be popular, but I think we just got to keep trying. Our relationships with fellow women are so important and they're so important to growth and important to just the world as I see it right now and how I want to support women in business. And when I support you in business, I refer, I tag, I get excited. If you really want me to write that review, I will write the review, but it doesn't mean that things don't alter and change. And once I no longer trust someone, I am not going to do that anymore. And so, you know, for years I supported these women and I felt very unsupported at the end. And although I don't always handle my shit perfectly, I believe my heart is always in the right place and I always am service-minded and I demand that exact same level of service when I hire someone. And unfortunately, there is just a world we live in right now that service does not come first. I am all for having boundaries. I am all for managing time, but I think that there is room for flexibility, especially for your most loyal clients. A lot of you ask me, how do you do it all? How do you manage? Why do you text? How do you have boundaries? And it's like, I am very particular depending on the client. It's not to say they're all, they, they're all treated with high regard, high respect, but some of my clients are VIPs. Some of them are some of my most loyal friends. They have become friends right over the years. They refer the most people to me and I do treat them differently in the best way. And I think that is a decision you as the entrepreneur, the travel advisor have to make. In every situation. You get to customize your experience for each client. There doesn't have to be this black and white, for lack of a better cliché term, around how you work. Every single day can be different. Every single client experience can be at a high level while being different, while being customized. And something we learned in Lead the Manifest this time was There's a lot of hesitation to come on a group trip with a travel advisor who's doing it for the first time. And addressing those hesitations is part of the journey. And one of the things we really talked about in June was how do we meet each hesitation where it is? How can we read the underlying issue with why somebody might not want to come on the group trip? And what we've all discovered through conversation and really deep understanding is it's usually not about the money. It is usually something else that they're not saying. And that is true for everything in life. Like any major hesitation we have comes in a fear-based mindset typically. And we use money or we say we don't have time as an easy out when we are hesitating to go all in, whether it's in our business or whether it's because Or we're saying no to something that maybe we really wanna do, but we're afraid. So one of the things we really dove into this semester was how do we intuitively serve the hesitation in our content and in our marketing so that they can see themselves in that conversation without having to come tell us? It is really hard to mind read. And I think this is also true. In these relationships that we build within our business. So one of the things that I experienced was I genuinely could feel that something was off, right? And so when you're talking to a client, do you put out a message that maybe you are not all in? Because that's how I was feeling at the time that I kept bringing up my issues, was I just felt something was off and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, right? And so it's kind of like that. We're trying to read the room on our clients. Is something going on? And typically guys, there is more going on that we don't know about. And in my case, I was informed it was none of my business. And that's true. So what is going on with your clients? What is going on with your business partners isn't any of your business, but all of the things that are happening affect how we treat people. It affects how that person engages with us and people can smell A problem. They can feel when you're being inauthentic, when you're not being genuine. They can feel that through so many different ways. There are so many intuitive individuals out there watching us and they know when something is off. And in fact, a lot of you came and asked me, are you okay? You seem to be having a hard time. And it was so nice. And I so appreciated it because I was having a hard time, but it was coming out in my content. And that is what I want to be so clear is while we cannot mind read, if we're not putting out authenticity, which is, I know, an overused word, but just if you are not being yourself, people can feel it. And I create a lot of content for you and I'm always encouraging you to make sure you're making it your own and make sure that the voice is yours because obviously my voice is very direct and can often offend people, but it's like, Is that your voice? Is what's inside of you honest when you create content? Is it saying the thing you really want it to say? And trying to mind read is really tough, but it is something in sales we have to learn how to do. Because if we want to be able to address people and don't just want to take the first no for an answer, because so many times it's not really a no, it's all about reading the room. Reading your clients and being intuitive. And I teach this in From Close to Home, where I really talk about intuitive service and making sure that you are just ahead of that person's question. The things that that particular client needs that you have to figure out before they ask to become the highest level of service person. And that takes effort. It takes time and it takes getting to know your client. Truly getting to know them and maybe even befriending them. And I am friends now with so many of my clients, and I feel like I know them. I feel like I know their life and their story, but only if I'm really paying attention. And I think in so many cases, it feels like so much extra effort to do that, that it causes burnout. I think it causes resentment sometimes, and I think that people Sometimes feel like they shouldn't have to do all that to serve the client. And I know I'm kind of talking about 2 different things at this time, but that's what happened to me. I feel like the service changed over the years. And at the very beginning, there was excitement. There was robust service over the top. And over time, that wasn't something that was offered anymore. Or, and I still wanted that service. I still wanted somebody to care about my business as much as I cared about it and show up for me, even when it kind of sucks. to show up for me and I just no longer was going to get that. And so we had to part ways and it wasn't a good parting of ways because it felt very personal. And it's because of our friendship. It's because over the years our friendship had altered and had come into a place where we weren't really sure how to navigate the gray area of business and friendship. And what I wanted and my expectations was when I am in business mode, I want the highest level of service. I want More than what everybody else is getting. I didn't want to be put in a box, and I didn't like the changes that were being made in the business. I tried to explain this, and I got frustrated, and it did not go well. Okay, it was a big loss, and I have had those losses also when I have given poor service. I had clients who were extremely loyal to me in my first eight years of business, and I left the business, burnt the whole thing down. Right, and I know some of them will never come back. I know. I am not considered trustworthy to people who I was serving before. And after, when I came back and I told everybody I was back, some people were excited and some ghosted. I never heard from them again. And that's their choice. It is the client's choice whether or not they are going to keep booking, that whether they're going to keep coming back. We do not own our clients. And I realized that. I have made mistakes over the years and I have created situations within my own business where my anxiety is so high. And I think that's what happened in this situation for me is I wanted more and my anxiety got so high because I just knew I wasn't going to get it anymore. And I allowed it to implode and it sucks. It has sucked. It's just been really challenging and there's such a disconnect, but I know it happened for a good reason. And so one of the things I want you guys to take away from every single, you know, conversation we have is, are you looking in the mirror? Are you evaluating how you intuitively serve? Are you really putting service ahead of everything else when it comes to the business, even when they choose not to hire you? The other day somebody said, you know, what do you guys do when family is sitting around talking about a trip that they're going on that they Didn't book with you and you know the way they have planned it sucks. It's not a great plan. And I was like, oh my God, girl, I like will absolutely tell them. Specifically, this was about Italy too. And whenever somebody fucks up Italy, it's like they become miserable. They don't enjoy it. They come back and they're like, I didn't like Italy. So this is just the example given in my group. And I was like, I always help. I always help because what I have learned about helping is that level of service of just the help. Mm-hmm. Of just giving them some tips for free because hello, we do know more than everyone else and making sure they have a great time regardless of how it was booked. I want people enjoying Italy. I want them to have the best experience. And I also like to be right. Does anybody else love to be right? So if I were listening to that and they were describing an overpacked, just ambitious Italy trip in 10 days, I'd be like, okay guys, I have to step in here. I know you didn't hire me. But let me tell you this, let me explain this to you. I want you to have the best time, so you're doing too much, you know? And I would just give them some tips on how to scale it so that they can enjoy it. It does not cost a thing for me to be helpful and kind. And I feel that that is genuinely what is missing from so many entrepreneurs right now. There is just this selfishness around how we want our businesses to run. And like I said, I'm all for boundaries. I am all for creating the business you desire, but I also believe in high levels of helpful, kind, service-first mindset, because I do genuinely feel like that is where abundance lives. And if we cannot give without expectation, then we're going to struggle in entrepreneurship. I genuinely think that. I, I know it because I live it every day. I give far more than you guys even There is something inside of me that wants everybody to have the business they want. And if it means spending a couple of minutes in my DMs helping them, I am going to do it every single time. And this is probably where the boundary is a little bit gray, but I feel like it's the decision I make to be the most helpful and the most kind and the most giving version of myself. And since I shifted to that mindset, which took a while, By the way, I want you guys to get there faster. I have had the most success in my travel business and in my coaching business. It has done nothing but grow, not always at the pace I want, by the way, but I can feel the growth. I can feel the abundance of what is happening in my businesses. And it is slow. I mean, it's almost, it is year 4 of coaching and sometimes I look around and I'm like, Is this it? But I know it's not because I know that there's always more people to help and attract into my spaces. And I know that as long as I am putting my service mind first and my giving mind first, it will come back to me tenfold. I genuinely try to help every single person. I feel that our industry is lacking in this abundant mindset. So many people want things so fast, but they also get so annoyed in the DMs. They look around and they're like, I don't want to help this person. I don't want to tell them, hey, that trip to Italy sounds awesome, but it also feels ambitious. It's like, I didn't book it, so I don't want to help you. I didn't book it, so I'm not going to give you any tips. I didn't book it. My liability is at risk. I can promise that if you get into a service mindset, if you get into a hesitation combating mode, like where you can get to the underlying issue of why somebody may not want to travel, you will be a force to be reckoned with in this industry because there is such a lack of it that when people find you and realize what a giver you are, they are going to refer you and trust you. And that's ultimately what this comes down to. First of all, we have to be likable. We have to be willing to show who we are. And the likable parts of us, and some of those likable parts are imperfect. They are mistake-making, and we have to share it. And the second part is trust. How do you show up? What do you consistently do that is trustworthy? And that's ultimately the pinnacle of how you get to the buyer. And trust is earned over time. It takes a long time to trust someone. Some people, I believe I am this person, trust immediately. If you say that, I believe you. I'm gonna go. I'm going to follow you. I trust myself and I trust that when I make those decisions, I make them rationally and I make them in a way that offers the trust first, because I do want that person to succeed. I want them to show up for me. I want them to provide the service they said they were going to provide. And I want above and beyond. I know that I shouldn't say this, but I do believe the above and beyond actually makes What all of us do, it's the defining moment. And I don't mean above and beyond to burnout. Okay. I mean caring so deeply and make sure that person knows you care so deeply and that you aren't a second thought. And that requires above and beyond on your part because it requires you to get to know them, to maybe follow them closely and to catch those small moments of things happening in their lives. And that's what I try to do for the travel advisors. Who come alongside each other in my courses, take my coaching, or join my masterminds. I really, really hope that you feel connected and understand that the above and beyond, that is my way of caring about your businesses. And I do not feel like this is something we all are willing to give. And I don't feel this in the coaching world that I'm also in. At the end of the day, If the above and beyond starts to lack, then the trust goes down. And I felt that in a couple of my relationships in the last 3 years. And I had a really bad assistant situation. I had a really bad ads person situation. And I'm like, am I the common denominator? Am I a bad client? But when I look back on those experiences, what I was able to take away was what I expect now. And so when I am communicating with my current team, I am able to communicate more effectively when before I wanted those things, but maybe wasn't communicating that. I didn't give them as much choice because I wasn't being hyper-clear on my expectations until shit hit the fan. And that part is absolutely on me because I was like patiently waiting for things to get better for me and this nagging feeling to go away. And it just never did. It got worse. And by the time I said something, I was pissed off. I was demanding. I was rude. And so I have to remember to start speaking up for myself. And so remember that your clients are waiting for you. They're waiting for you to show up a certain way. And I'm not saying you have to. In fact, I don't believe in people pleasing all the time. You guys know, I think you should have office hours. I think you should have minimum spend. I think that you should charge fees. I am talking about how you care about the vacation and whether or not you're going to choose to go above and beyond in the hours you have set, but also when it matters, when you can feel something has shifted, maybe in that relationship, how are you going to show up and see if you can read the room? Are you as intuitive as you want to be? And how do you build intuitiveness? How do you build mind reader? It's really tough. So you have to decide, is that a skill You want to build the above and beyond intuitive service skill. And genuinely, that is what I teach in From Close to Home, because it is one of those courses that goes deeper into a feelings-first mindset. And I think that that is what I actually do. I put feelings for others, your feelings as a client, as someone who comes into my life to be served, I put your feelings ahead of my own, which did lead to burnout for a while. But once you have figured out how to balance the feelings with the service in the space you have to give through honesty and authenticity, it can work really, really well. And what do I mean by that? It means when you are your full self, you show up and you're honest. If you're going through something yourself and you're trying to serve somebody, You have to be willing to be as honest as possible with that person. Part of the journey is connecting with your client, and that is not a one-sided street. When we are partners with our travel clients and they can feel how much we care, we also are humans and we have lots of things going on in the background. We have children, we have parents, we have sick Family members, we have emergencies, we have things happen—car accidents, loss. Some of us are grieving pretty much 24/7, right? But we're running businesses. If you are running a feelings-first business, everybody's feelings matter, including your own. You can still provide above and beyond even when you're hurting. You can. I do it every fucking day, and that is what I want you guys to think about because in this business, this is a. It's a fun business, but it is tough. Nobody tells you how quiet some days are. Nobody tells you that your friends and family aren't going to support you. Nobody tells you that you're going to post content and 9 times out of 10, nobody's going to say a fucking word. That you're going to pray for inquiries and they don't come. Nobody really tells you. So your feelings start to get heavy and you're working your way through that. And then you get one person interested and are they serious? You have to navigate that first, and then you have to navigate how you're going to come alongside them in their travel journey and partner with them. And I know in your mind, you're like hoping for the best, but we can earn their business far before they ever slide into our DMs by being who we are, even on the hard days and sharing those hard days and being willing to have a conversation with your current clients, your active clients, if something bigger is going on. So they can feel something for you too. And that is really what From Clothes to Home is about. It is about meeting them where they are so they can also meet you where you are and not treat you like quote unquote the help and instead treat you like that partner. That is how boundaries are built as well, because you don't tell people your boundaries. You don't say the word boundaries 17 times and say, I'm holding a boundary. We enforce boundaries. Through kindness, and it needs to be clear because clear is kind. And when it's not clear, it feels personal. And if that person is unhappy, they should be able to tell you without fear that you're just gonna bail, right? You're allowed to have your boundary, but how are you really talking to them so that there is a true understanding of why it is changing so that client doesn't feel like? You don't give a shit, right? When we put off telling the truth in our business, the client can feel it. That's the bottom line. Especially if you've been serving that client for a long time. And maybe that client's a pain in the ass. Maybe they're like me and they have high expectations, high demand. You do get to decide if you want to work with that person, but remember that their trip is 6 months out. Remember that you're in this relationship for a specific amount of time and you committed to that person. So your job is to show up and do your best and intuitively serve regardless of how you might personally feel for that person. And remember that that person has a lot going on as well, because nobody shows up to conversations with one layer. We have many layers, many reasons how we got here, many experiences. Every client is different so that every client needs a different intuitive surface from you. They need you to read the room. They need you to ask specific questions that you may not feel 100% comfortable asking, but it is going to matter in how you are able to show up for them. And yes, some clients demand more than others, and some are not going to be in your orbit after they travel, right? Because they might not be aligned. And I'm not saying again that you have to bend and break all your boundaries all of the time, every single day. I am saying that some people will need more care than others. And that is also why I believe in charging a very specific, not so modest fee so that your time that you spend averages out to the money you wanna make. So it's really important during the consultation phase and when you are really getting to know your client that you charge something That actually pays you for the service you provide. You can be paid and care at the same time as well. We don't have to feel bad for charging for the services that we definitely already know we're going to go above and beyond. I know I'm going to go above and beyond on every client. It's just my personality. And it is absolutely something I want as a client. I want to be given the above and beyond experience all the time. So charge effectively. That is the important part here too. That will also allow for you to design the experience that that client is going to have. I recently hired a new web designer and on our call we were talking and I said, look, I demand high levels of service. So instead of saying I'm easygoing, I'm totally fine, like whatever. I said, if you do not plan on showing up above and beyond, this is not going to work. So charge effectively if you want to work with me, if I am the type of client you want. And she was like, I am so all in. I am so excited. And I was like, okay, but like, are you, do you really understand what I'm saying? Because now that I know what I'm looking for, it is a lot easier for me to find people to work with me. Because I am a more demanding level of client. And so if you even are on a call and you're getting a vibe that this person might be holding back, but like you really like them and you really want to work with them, even if they are demanding, ask them, how do you want to be served through this experience? How do you want me to show up so I can make sure we are a good match? Now, as a client, I have learned I have to put it out there, but most clients aren't going to say I have super high Fucking expectations. We have to assume most people have some level of expectation. Most people are not laid back when they're traveling. That is why they're hiring. And so it is important that you do learn to show up a certain way and read their minds. But if you aren't a mind reader, the best way to learn how to become more intuitive, how to understand what clients want, is to get face to face with them. Read their face, read their body language, and ask the question. Ask, what level of service are you expecting out of your experience? Would you consider yourself high maintenance? Just ask, because I am a high maintenance client, and that is what I have learned over the years. And so my expectations are extremely different than somebody who is being laid back. And I'm not saying you have to respond in immediacy at all. I am though the client that might text you at 10:00 PM because I just thought of something, and I do not want to be shamed for And so that is the perspective I take with all my clients and all of you that message me at 11:00 PM. I know I don't have to respond right now. You will get a response in the morning. Sometimes I get messages and I'm like, I want to answer this, but can you get back to me during my business hours, which start at 7:30 AM? But it needs to be clear in a way that isn't unkind and where you're not taking advantage of that person. Like we have to be okay. Asking the questions that we actually need the answers to, especially if we hold specific business hours, especially if you only work six or hours a day. And clients deserve to know your hours for the most part. But if you're just like, hey, I keep a little bit of shorter hours. I want to talk to you. I want to provide this service to you. I also want you to know this is how I work, so you can make the best decision for you. And if you expect 24/7, I need to know. Because I don't provide that until you're traveling. That is the conversation you're having, and that is where you can weed out anybody who's not aligned. And now that I am starting to get to know myself as a client, I realize a lot of the time I want that level of service. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes. And on the coaching side, it's hard to find. It has just been a challenge across the board, not just with one person. So It's like the more I get to know myself and the more I keep hiring people, the better client I can be. And you get to design that within your business from the perspective that you have to assume your clients are not being 100% honest when they're talking to you about what they want. And that's just something over the last 6 months I've realized not only about myself, but about the clients I have taken on. And about the agents I have taken on, they all need something a little bit different, especially within Lead the Manifest, which is a high-touch coaching experience. I thought I was only going to be working during specific hours, but I found that the Lead the Manifest gals were working at different hours because they had different hours. And so oftentimes I did find myself responding at different times of day, and I had to adjust. My work schedule for them because I made a commitment to them and I go above and beyond. And I wanted them to know, hey, even though I said I wasn't always going to be around, I have changed my mind. And that is a decision I got to make in my business to change my mind, change my working hours. And I have been working longer hours because I show up for them very differently. And I am okay with that. That is a choice I made. And communicate that To make sure that they understood where I was in my journey as their coach, and I'm going into fall semester, and I can already tell it's going to be a high demand group, and that is okay. They invested in themselves, and they invested in me, and so I know this year as a whole was a learning year for me. Learning how to meet the travel agents where they are, adjust everything in my schedule to making sure that I had the capacity. Because that's the other thing. If we have too much going on and we have taken more on than we should have, it's hard to add. It's hard to adjust to the high demand client. That's why you need to ask in the front on the consult, because you have to know where your capacity is going to be for that particular client. And for this particular group, my capacity is much higher just for them. And that means I pull back in other areas. Even my personal life. So I have had to communicate with my friends, with my family on what I am able to show up for. My dad's family had a whole ass big reunion over July 4th, and I just knew I did not have the capacity. Like when I heard about it back in January, I really wanted to make it work, but I knew because Jude is in travel ball, she was going to be on volleyball camps during the day, and I was going to be teaching Lead the Manifestation. I just knew I was not going to have capacity to get on a plane and travel to see my family, even though it's the first reunion in 10 years. I just couldn't make it work in my mind. I really shut down actually when I found out about it. And so I had to be really honest with my mom and just let her know that I don't have capacity for that. And she understood, but I know she was disappointed. And that's the thing is you will disappoint people. I would hope that That you are self-aware enough to know how to handle disappointment and move on quickly if possible, either when somebody chooses not to work with you anymore or when you do not have the capacity to keep taking on, or you are making change in your business and that means alienating and eliminating people who have been loyal to you. All of those are consequences to the decisions we make in our business every day. And I don't know if I'm talking in circles or not, but I think what I'm trying to say is. The best thing for you is not always the best thing for your client. And the more honest you are willing to be with them, the better things are going to go. I have a friend slash travel agent client who I love dearly. She has invested in all my courses and that's not even a requirement, but she has, and we've traveled together and she booked a one-on-one with me in June. One of the things we really had to talk about was capacity and she I just couldn't imagine saying no and doing all these things. But over the last few weeks, she has taken so seriously the coaching, which is all the coaching I have learned about myself in the last 6 months. And it's like, if you cannot provide the service, you cannot accept the business. If you have capped out capacity, if you have something more serious going on in your personal life, you have to be so fucking honest. So deeply honest, and she's like, "I don't want to tell people my business. I don't want them to know I'm in a weak spot. I don't want people to think badly if I say no." Those people are not going to respect the pullback that will naturally happen in this course of life for you if you are not willing to be honest. They will feel the dishonesty. They will feel like there's something heavy weighing on you because your service will have changed. Your capacity has changed, and whether we believe it to be true or not, humans can read each other. They might not know exactly what's going on. I've said this, but there is something else going on there, and if you're dishonest with them, they are going to feel it. And she took that so seriously, and she is now preparing to leave the business for a few weeks because of this other situation she has. And she has been messaging me, and she's like, "I feel so much better," and she. realizes that you don't have to tell everything. It isn't anyone else's business, but being honest with her clients means a weight has been lifted. Okay. And a weight can be lifted the more you're willing to be vulnerable. And then maybe when something goes awry or doesn't align with that client perfectly, you can be honest in a way that helps them fully understand what is going on. And allow them the opportunity to give you grace because we're all human. We all have stuff. But if you just say, I am implementing boundaries, it feels like the client is the problem when really something is going on with you as the service provider. You can't put that on the client. You can't expect them to adjust So quickly when you've been doing something a certain way for so long, or perhaps that was the expectation that you gave them, and now you're trying to change all that, and you're trying to do so by shouting the word boundary. That is not going to create trust. It's just going to create, which is animosity and resentment towards the service provider. Like, why do I need a boundary put in place? It's like, if you've done a shitty job of implementing boundaries on the back end of your business, and now you have to shout it, I can hear you say, I need to implement boundaries, but I'm still the client. And if you're going to treat me differently now because of this change in your boundaries, and it's never been this way before, and there's no honesty behind it, it's going to be really tough for that client to understand that you need grace. And so when I told her, hey, you have to reach out to your clients and let them know something is going on so they do not expect you to be the same. That is how you set a boundary. That is how you say things in my life have changed and I no longer have capacity, or I don't have capacity for X amount of time to serve you the way I have been serving you. And that might really disappoint you. And I just want to give you a heads up that you might be disappointed. So then ultimately that person can make the choice that's best for them. And when it comes to travel, you're tied in. When it comes to contracts, those people are tied in. Those notices should be given. I really want you to think about your capacity. If you have another job, if you're taking care of your kids, if you're taking care of your mother, if you have big volunteer philanthropic lifestyle where you're busy, busy, busy, giving, giving, giving, your capacity on the service side may not be where you think it is. And you may be putting out that you are going above and beyond. And that you deserve more respect. Not that you don't deserve it, but you have to be willing to take responsibility and accountability for the decisions you have made and the capacity in which you have reached. And so many of you come to me burnt out, tired, exhausted, and I'm like, well, what else are you doing besides travel? What else have you said yes to? What do you refuse to say no to? This is how burnout happens. It comes, it sneaks up on you, and then we think it's our client's fucking problem and it's not. We are responsible for every decision we make and how that decision is truly communicated. And nobody reads, so we may have to repeat ourselves because boundary setting also takes time to implement and adjustment for the client. They should not feel it. It should feel seamless. It should be a slow shift. And it shouldn't feel so abrupt. And so if you have not been setting boundaries with specific clients and they do text you at all hours of the day, you have to slowly shift them into a new way of communicating. And sometimes you do have to come right out and say, hey, I am not going to be able to text you back at 11:00 PM anymore, but I promise you, I will get back to you during my office hours. And if you have had a gray area for so, so long with that one particular client, they might feel like they're the exception to the rule. And you have to decide if they're the exception to the rule. And it's okay if you decide that they are the exception to the rule. It is okay to have exceptions to your rules in your business to provide the best service to the people who have been the most loyal. It's okay because if you're adjusting everyone else and all your new people coming in, then there should be a little bit more capacity opened up, in my opinion. And if there's not, Then you just have to be so for real and so honest because if you don't, you're going to lose their trust, their referrals, and their loyalty. And you still may lose it and you have to be okay with it because those are the choices you're making in your business. That's just reality. That's just the way the world works. And that's okay too. But there are ways to step into a service mode and create a curated— I hate the word curated— experience for each individual client. through the conversation that you have in the very beginning of that relationship. And then as you learn over the next few months, you can learn your capacity and really take ownership of that capacity and then make changes with the new clients. And then be able to, in some way, fully educate, communicate, and reflect with your past clients. A lot of you are like, well, what if I wanna charge fees? It's like, well, you get to decide if you're going to charge your past clients and you know your capacity with each of those clients based on the data and the experience you had with them before, because every experience is data. Some of you are going to say, oh my gosh, that one girl was so high maintenance and she took so advantage of my time and blah, blah, blah. Well, then definitely charge her a fee if she comes back, if you even want to work with her again, charge her higher than you charge somebody who is a little bit more low maintenance and just lovely. Okay. Curate your experience within the service of what you provide for each client. That is the beauty of the travel industry is every scenario is different. Even the relationship with that client and what you're building and the trust that's there between both people through honesty and knowing your own, like, overflow. One of my girlfriends took me to coffee one day and she just knew I was down and she literally had the coffee girl fill her mug all the way to the top and And then poured more coffee in it while we were talking. And she was like, that overflow, that's all you have left in capacity. The cup is full for you. And if you don't have capacity in that overflow, it's going to be really hard for you to go above and beyond. And I have taken that with me. And sometimes I know my cup is getting empty and I can feel it. I no longer blame people when my cup is empty. I do a reflection. I look in the mirror. I think, what have I done to create this situation. And right now I can tell my cup is getting a little empty. So before the next semester of Lead the Manifest, I'm taking a lot of time for myself to refill this cup. I'm coming back to the podcast because it brings me so much joy. I'm doing more things in my business for me. I'm reflecting on the last 6 months of how I could have better handled my situations, and I am going to learn and grow and refill this cup. And hire more people so that I can give above and beyond service to the women who have hired me. And I know that's their expectation and it is okay, but that's their expectation. I want them to have the best fucking experience learning from me, and I cannot give that to them if my cup is empty. So it is on me to focus and refill it as best I can. And that means I have to pull back, usually in my personal life, a little bit to refill. And these are just choices. choices you have to be more self-aware to make. And we don't put that on the client. We don't make them feel like it's their job to meet us where we are. It is all about service and whatever we take on, we have to be willing to take ownership. And so, so many of us are burnt out because we refuse to take ownership. We refuse to make change. We don't trust that the clients will wait. But the right clients absolutely will. And if you live in an abundant mindset, you know, there is plenty to go around. And you know that the more you can trust yourself in these decisions, the more confidence you will build to have the business you desire with the clients that you want to work with, who, even if they demand more, are loyal and loving and refer. And you don't need every single client. You just need a fabulous core set of clients who will stick with you even when things are tough for you, even when things are not where you want them to be. And I really, really trust that in my own businesses. And I believe that we also become better clients for others through this journey of learning what we need when we hire. I hope you guys enjoyed this. It was very much unscripted. It was a journey to tell some of the story. It's also a journey to share multiple perspectives and trying to use my experiences while I teach is still something I struggle with a little bit, just like many of you. It feels risky. It feels exhausting, but it also feels like this is how we connect and get to know each other. And so I really hope that you heard something today and can take something away. And also get to know this coaching journey for me a little bit better. It is by far a challenge some days more than others to show up. I read once that a woman's life changes drastically in six months, and I can tell you that for the majority of my life, when I look back, that is so true for me. So when you're thinking about your ideal aligned client. Don't forget that from the moment you met her, maybe six months ago, something drastic has changed in her life. And how do we intuitively meet her where she is right this second? Have a good day, y'all. Love you lots. Bye. Hey, y'all. This is the end of another No BS Travel Advisor podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I am Marcy Minsterman, and I am not your lawyer. I am not your accountant. That is my disclaimer. I am a coach and mentor with 20 years of sales experience. And if you love this episode, please leave me a 5-star review because it means so much to me. If you have any questions, you also know you can hit me up in the DMs at any time. All right, guys, love you. Bye.
