How to Build Relationships With BDMs & Get Invited on Travel Agent FAM Trips

Hey there! Welcome to the No BS Travel Advisor. This is the solo edition. Just me, Marcie Muensterman, my mouth, my mistakes, and the real stories from 19 years in this wild-ass industry. There will be no guests here. No censorship, no filters, just the truth behind how I burned out, rebuilt, and finally learned to run this business like the CEO that I am. And if you're an independent advisor who suspects your host might suck, hate Working for free and appreciates a well-placed F-bomb, you're in the right damn place. So let's go. Hey y'all, welcome back to the No BS Travel Advisor Podcast. I'm Marcie Muensterman. And before I jump into this episode, because I'm really excited about chatting with you about your business development managers, and I know that's why you're here, I just wanna thank everybody for being so kind this last weekend and supporting my Judybug. She ended her first season of Travel Ball. With a silver bracket win and got another ring. So she got some more bling. And I know last week we talked about the hot Florida sun and how hard they work and how they've had to truly be so resilient this season as a new team and how difficult it must be to show up in front of everybody and get your ass kicked month after month, tournament after tournament. And for us to end on a win is huge. Jude got the last play of the game, the last out. To secure the win. And she's been out due to bone bruise injury. I'm just thrilled she's back at it 150%. Y'all, she had to dive, like fully, fully dive for this ball. I was terrified seeing her fly across the field to stop it. She said that she was worried she wouldn't have enough time to get up and throw the girl out, but she looked at the runner and realized she had all the time in the world to get up, took her time and threw the girl out. And here's what I want to say about this. No matter what you're going through, you can always get up. You have time. Even if she had not thrown that girl out, she worked her ass off to get well and be a part of this win. Stopping that hard-ass hit ball between first and second was one of those accomplishments that, that's how you know you're back. You know, that's how you know the shit is getting done out here and I am a part of it. I am a driving— part of this journey to success. As her mother, I loved it. I loved seeing it. She hadn't seen a whole lot of action the week— this past weekend, but she had 2 big, big hits. She hit one ball so hard it hit a girl in the nose and I thought it was bleeding, but luckily the girl was okay and we could appropriately celebrate after she got off— got up out of the outfield. I've never seen a girl lay flat on her face in the outfield and I was So terrified that Jude had hurt her, but she seemed okay. We survived 2 lightning delays and were able to come back and win in that final game. But man, like I said, they've had a long, long season. They're a new team and they were getting to know each other and pulling it all together at the end here. Really seeing this team come to life has just been so much fun. And we are moving up to 16U. It is gonna be a crazy time. I think it's gonna look very different than 14U. Correct me if I'm wrong. But also, Eric is back. For those of you who follow my stories in live time, Eric is back from his hiking and golf trip. He had a great experience this year. He is, has been on his own journey, you guys. He has lost over 100 pounds since 2023, and that is 3 years ago. It has taken a lot of work and a lot of effort. A lot of people just assume he's been on GLP-1s this whole time, which is a fair assumption to make. He did start off that way. But now he has a personal trainer and he walks anywhere from 15,000 to 18,000 steps a day. And he is very conscientious of his macros, whatever those are. I have no idea. But what I will tell you again, it is a journey. It does not happen overnight. And I am witnessing this within my own family. And a lot of you want this business to happen overnight. That is what I keep seeing. I literally have a pending post on Maximize right now. From a travel advisor who has been at this for two and a half months, and she wants to know when it's going to happen for her. When is she going to get her first client? How long is it going to take? She wants to read real stories of how long it takes. There are multiple posts about this in my group, and I'm going to approve it because I do approve one or two of these a month. But it just goes to show that every single month, every single week, there is a travel advisor coming into my space asking how long is this going to take, and every. Single time I want to just scream into the screen, a long fucking time. Can you imagine how long it must have felt for my husband to lose 100 pounds, to feel good enough to climb a fucking mountain 9 miles 2 days in a row? 2 days in a row he was able to hike 9 miles in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Are you kidding me? That is insane. And that was not possible 3 years ago. Just simply not something he could have done. I am so proud of him. I am so proud of Jude. I am so proud of the consistency. That's what this business requires. It requires showing up consistently, not once a week, not once every 2 weeks, not only when it's easy, not only when you have a lead, every day. And I am anti-hustle. So I'm not saying you have to show up 12 hours every day. I'm saying every day, do something for yourself in your business. And one of the things you can do is build relationships with your business development managers. This is an activity that needs to be included. And I know you're thinking, gosh, Marcie, I have so many things I have to do, especially when you're new. But even when you're not new, you guys, there's so much to fucking do. So many systems and processes and workflows and admin and social media and so many things. One of the things you guys ask me sometimes is how do I get invited on FAMs without, you know, like how do I even know about FAMs? How do I know what's going on? Well, it does depend on your host and your travel agency owner and their relationship with suppliers. Pliers and resorts, but it also has to do with how you're registered, how you're receiving that information, and how serious you take building those relationships. We're gonna talk about how to do that today, and it's kind of inspired by a couple of things. I actually have dinner plans with my Sandals and Beaches BDM tonight. She is literally the fucking bomb. If you are on the West Coast of Florida and you do not know this woman, you need to get to know her. And another thing that inspired me was I had a conversation with one of my Best travel agent friends over the weekend who was invited on an AIC fam, and she worked for a year on building that relationship. And that's kind of what we talked about was she said, "I didn't realize how much effort it was going to take to get invited on a fam." I said, "Oh yeah, it takes a lot of time and a lot of energy. It takes selling the product and getting to know your BDM, not making it." About just you. Yes, business development managers are here to help us. They are essentially the salespeople for a supplier, vendor, hotel, or a resort. Some DMCs also employ BDMs, but for the most part, DMCs align you directly with the same, like the salesperson that you're going to also quote product through. So it's slightly different setup, different business model. When we were chatting, I was like, What do you think attributed to the invitation? And she said, truly being likable. Your BDMs have to like you. And that is so true, you guys. They aren't just going to invite anyone on a FAM because they are usually hosting said FAM and they want travel advisors who are serious about selling their product. And they also want to want to be around that travel advisor. So. I'm not saying that all BDMs are particular, but they have some authority over who gets to go. In many cases, they do choose quote unquote their favorites. It's just something you have to know. Not all of them. Some of them will send an invitation to a travel agency and allow the owner to make those decisions, but that is not the only way that you get invited. And I am thrilled to be going to dinner with my Sandals BDM. She's literally one of my favorite BDMs I've ever had in my entirety in this career. I am not even really selling a ton of the Caribbean right But she is so patient. She is so lovely. And I am very grateful that she is also in my backyard. She literally lives in the same town as me. So it makes it a little bit easier. And I might have a little leg up on everybody else because I am here. But also we hit it off the very first time we had coffee, like eyeball to eyeball. We had so many people in the industry in common. We also love to talk about Italy. She met her husband in Italy. Oh, I love Italy. Their story, so romantic, so incredible. And you might be like, how do you know how she met her husband? Y'all, cuz I fucking asked. I asked. And that's what really this is about. It's about getting to know your BDMs. It is not a one-way street. It is not a one-way ticket to a fam. And I'm so glad we hit it off immediately and we didn't make the entire coffee about Sandals products. I, I, I know my Sandals products. And she knows I know my Sandals products. And that's the thing is when you go beyond the webinars and the trainings and get to know them as human beings, you guys, they travel nonstop. They work the longest hours. They are hard to pin down. I know this. I know some of you are like, my BDMs suck. They never respond to my emails. And I kind of want to be like, well, why did you email them? Well, I needed help with something and they never helped me. Yeah, because they don't know who the fuck you are. They don't have to help you. That's not their job. Their job is to teach you how to help yourself sell whatever product they represent. That is what a BDM does. Now, can they sometimes help with fires? Sure. But they don't have the kind of power to just like turn everything around. That's a different person than who your BDM is. When there's a problem on site, when there are issues that are happening beyond their control. They all have different roles and business development managers are exactly what it says, business development. They help a supplier or a resort line develop business through relationships with travel agents and travel agency owners and host companies. But the bottom line here is they don't have to jump through hoops to help someone who has never fucking said hello. Saying hello. Is so easy. Only emailing them when there is a fire or when you absolutely just need something is not an established situation that they're going to jump for joy to help you with. They also might not be in the office. They are hardly ever sitting down with their emails. I asked one of my BDMs once, how many emails a day do you get? And she was like, hundreds, literally hundreds of emails. And most of them are asking for something. They're not just emailing out of the kindness of their heart, which of Of course, it's always about business, right? And you can talk about business with your medium, obviously, but you can also talk to them about family, kids, what you're up to outside of travel, what they do outside of travel. Do they have any hobbies? They probably don't cuz they're workaholics. But having something else to connect to is truly how you become likable and memorable to them. This shouldn't come as a surprise, but I think we need to realize that we Are our own worst client for so many BDMs and DMCs, by the way, because we look at it as a transactional relationship instead of looking at it as something that should be nurtured and cultivated. So just like you don't want somebody to come pick your brain or only message you when they need something, think about how you approach your business development manager's relationships. How are you contacting them? What are you saying? Are you even saying hello? One of my closest colleague friends, which took a Wild to Build, by the way, hates when you all DM her and do not say hello. You do not say, how are you? You just go right into your ask. Never ever DM'd this person in your life and jump right into whatever it is you need from her. It happens to her every day. It is one of her biggest pet peeves. And I understand because we are here to help. We give away a lot of free advice. I get it. We encourage you to DM us. Sometimes she doesn't. I do. But what is wrong with basic common courtesy? Do you utilize basic common courtesy when you are reaching out to your BDMs? Ask yourself that. How do you start emails off? What kind of person are you when you are asking for help? Are you panicked, demanding, and anxious, or are you calm and willing to slow down and actually introduce yourself to this person? Especially if this is the first email you've ever sent and it's all under duress. If you don't slow down and say, hey, I know we don't know each other. I am Marcie and I have been a travel advisor for X amount of time. I'm having a little bit of a situation and I am hoping you are willing to help me instead of, I need you to do this. I need you to do that. I have a client and destination and they're experiencing this and you need to get on it. Are you fucking kidding me? I have literally seen a screenshot of an email like that to a BDM. You are the client in this situation for sure. But BDMs have a lot of us and they don't actually owe that to you. They don't owe their time, energy, or expertise to somebody who does not try to connect with them beyond something unique. BDMs host webinars. They invite to lunch. They sometimes have evening events in bigger cities and they send an abundance of emails. To make sure you know what's going on with their product. Do you open those emails? Do you read your emails? Do you see their calendar link and make a one-on-one appointment via Zoom? Do you show up to trade shows and conferences where your BDMs are going to be? Are you taking the time to actually learn the product they sell and then sell it? Or are you just expecting this BDM to swoon Over you. If you are not cultivating every relationship, whether that is with a client, a colleague, your travel agency owner, your ICs or your BDMs, sales managers at specific hotels you enjoy. If you're a destination wedding specialist, how are you building that with wedding planners on site? How would you expect to get anything fucking done when shit hits the fan? If you are not being like my friend and taking time to earn the trust, why would you expect an invitation somewhere like a fam? So that's why we're talking about that this week, because travel advisors ask so many questions and they don't think outside the box of the simplicity of networking within the travel industry. And some of you know that I don't go places. I don't do conferences. I don't have time for trade shows. I very rarely could get away for a lunch because of being A carline mom. I have had to make different decisions because I need to be there for my kids. And I am still able to build relationships with the people in the business that I want to know. And I do that a very specific way that doesn't require me to always show up in person, that still honors both myself and the goals that I have, as well as the relationship that I want to have with That specific industry professional. Some of you might not even know who your BDMs are. So that's obviously the first step is finding out who your BDMs are for your preferred resort lines and suppliers. And this is usually in the travel agent portal of that supplier or that resort line. But if you wanna start getting opportunities, you have to be willing to be the best travel agent client to that BDM. Basically, you want to be their most aligned travel agent, just like we want the most aligned clients coming into our business. We want to be treated with respect. We don't want to be treated like the help. We want to be treated like human beings that have lives, that have boundaries. If you're looking for a relationship with your BDM, a real relationship, it takes effort. It takes intention. And yes, BDMs job hop too. So you might have a really good BDM over here at this supplier and then they leave and you have to start fresh with someone new. And you have to find out where that BDM went, especially if you love them, because it's a lot. They have a lot on their plate and they are looking for the right situation for them. So just like we host hop, just like we travel agency hop, they're hopping as well. But this industry is small, y'all. And I have been in conversations with BDMs that just horrify me how agents and travel agency owners treat them and demand that they show up in certain ways when they're not even capable sometimes. They don't just work for us. They have other agents to deal with, and there are so many different kinds of personalities in the BDM situation. Some of them don't even live in the U.S., but they have to travel here and literally just live out of hotels. We need to be fucking nice to them. We need to be patient with them. We need to be respectful of them because you are not the only person trying to get their attention. You are not the only person who wants to get that invitation to a fam. You're not the only person who wants and needs support. So instead of asking, how do I get something from them? How do I get them to respond? You have to remember to treat them like human beings first and foremost, because like every single other relationship in your life, this is not one-sided. And I think there are some very simple steps to this, but if you're not willing to think about them in this way, it can be very challenging to be likable enough to ever get an invitation. So step 1 is 1000% finding out who the business development manager actually is for the suppliers that you want to sell and for the resort lines you want to sell. I know that this sounds ridiculously obvious, but I cannot tell you how many travel advisors say, I do not know who my BDM is. Okay. Fucking find out. Do some research. Go to the travel agent login portal. Sign up. First of all, register with that brand, that supplier. But also, if you are with a host, ask your host. Look for the list. And then attend a training that they put on, that they are teaching. And even if it's not the right BDM, even if you sign up for the wrong webinar, find out who covers your territory. Know their name. Know what their specialty is within that brand. Know how they prefer to communicate. Get to know them. Figure it out. Get creative. Step 2, once you know who they are, you have their email, you're signed up for their webinars. You're getting their supplier emails that come through very, in many, many cases, especially if you're with Sandals and Beaches, if you've ever registered with them, you get emails directly from your BDM. This is an opportunity now to introduce yourself before you need something. A lot of you make the mistake of just assuming that they're going to jump and help a total stranger. How do you feel if a total stranger rolls up on you, asks for help, and you've never spoken to them before? This happens to me a lot now where other travel agency vendors You know, other people who teach things roll up and say, we should partner. We should do this. We should do that. I'm like, who are you? I don't even know who you are. That is a huge mistake. The first time a BDM hears from you should not be, my clients are in Jamaica and everything is going to shit. Can you help me fix this? This is not relationship building. Introduce yourself before there is a fire. If they're at your host conference and you have clients traveling in 6 months, Go say hello, shake their hand, look them in the eye, smile, ask them how long they're in town. What are they most looking forward to when they get home? Do they have kids? Are they married? How'd they meet their partner? If you are registered with ASTA and they have a webinar with a new brand, get on the webinar. You'll probably meet someone on the webinar that you can email after. The other thing is thank them, thank them for their time. So if you do happen to introduce yourself. And jump on a webinar or go to a conference and meet them eye to eye. When you are done with that webinar or home from that conference, sit down and email them a thank you and put in the subject, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for hosting a webinar, something like this in the subject. And then actually put something nice together in the body of the email that isn't one-sided. If your BDM is hosting an event near you and you find out about it, RSVP and then show the fuck up and get there early. Get there 15 minutes early. Why? Because maybe you'll catch them at the bar having a little beverage before, and you can say hello before everyone else arrives. You don't need giant scripts and introduct— of introductions. You need simplicity. You need honesty. Hi, how are you? My name's Marcie. I've been a travel advisor for X amount of years. I'm very interested in getting to know your product. I specialize in this type of travel, and I've really been wanting to introduce myself. That's it. I want to introduce myself. You do not need to give them your entire life story. Just be a human being and treat them like a human being. Then you're not just this other name. Maybe they will start to recognize you. Then they will start to remember you, especially if you start selling their product, because then they're seeing your name on their exported spreadsheet of monthly sales. That is how relationships start. This should not be mind-blowing information, by the way. You are full-grown ass adults who have built many relationships over the years. Step 3 is keep showing up. Be consistent. I know you're shocked here, but consistency matters in every part of this business. You can't just meet a BDM once, send one email, attend one webinar, and then they're wondering why 6 months later, then, you know, why you haven't been invited on this fam that they are taking a bunch of people on. You follow them on social media and you're like, I wanted to go on that fam. Well, why would you think you would get invited after only introducing yourself one time and only selling their product one time or only sending one email? Relationships need repetition. Do you have to continue driving the relationship? If you really want something from someone, you have to meet them halfway. Sometimes you have to meet them all the way because again, these VDMs have thousands of advisors. How are you going to stand out? By going to another event, by saying hello again. Hey, we met 6 months ago and I have sold 4 trips and I am loving this experience. With these, this brand, and I hope to continue to get to know you. Attend another training. Send another message with something relevant. Y'all, you have to have more than one conversation. You have to build familiarity, and familiarity takes time, just like you're building trust with your prospects. Because y'all, they know that travel advisors wash out in under two years. They know the stats. But if you continue to Make intentional decisions with that specific BDM. They're going to notice. It may take a year because again, thousands of advisors. I don't know why I have to keep saying that, but my friend, my dear friend, you know, we talked about some stuff because she was struggling with one of her BDM relationships. I was like, girl, you just have to keep trying. She's like, oh my God, they're so hard to get ahold of. They don't answer their emails. And I'm like, well, are you even trying to sell the product? That'll help. And it's easy for me to laugh because it's just like. Like, to me, it's so obvious that it's not going to be easy all the time. And even a year later, when she got the invitation to the AIC fam, I was like, man, that happened pretty fast. Good for you. Because I've had relationships in this industry for like 20 years and still don't always get invited everywhere, probably because they know I'm not gonna show up. But that's a different story. The other thing is we have got to stop contacting people only when we need something. Think about that. Think about how you feel when someone reaches out and just wants to pick your brain or just wants something out of you, and you have about 1 billion other things going on, and maybe you're even having some sort of personal crisis, and you're like, why is this person messaging me? Think about that when you are doing the same to others. Think about the friendships you currently have. If you have a friend who only ever calls you when she needs $500 or a ride to the airport or somebody to help her move, I'm pretty sure you're going to stop answering the fucking phone. Why would a professional professional relationship be any different. Consider reaching out when you have something good to say. Send them an email that says, oh my gosh, I just have to tell you, my clients just came back and they loved the resort. The training you did helped me close this booking. I just booked my first group trip with your company. I'm so excited. I just heard you got a promotion. Congratulations. Or maybe you noticed that she's attending an ASTA event. Hey, I'll be there too. I'll come to your booth. Maybe I can buy you a coffee in quote unquote, haha, our downtime. Sometimes there should be no ask. Most times, in fact, there should be no ask, no emergency, no favor, just human interaction, kindness, gratitude, excitement. They want emails with good news. Trust me. I would say 90% of their emails are fires that they are expected to put out, but you have to get to know this person, not just their title. They're not BDM Susan. They're Susan with a life. They're Susan with kids. There's Susan with a partner. There's Susan with health issues. There's Susan with parents who are being put in a retirement home for the first time. There's Susan that's selling their house. There's Susan that travels coast to coast and lives out of an airport. You know, they are humans. They have interests. They might be reading a book. Maybe you can connect on that. They have stuff going on outside of the supplier or the hotel line they work for. And I'm not telling you to interrogate them about their children so you can strategically manipulate them into inviting you somewhere, but don't be weird. Care about them even when they don't have time to care about you. Listen to them. Remember things about them. If they tell you that their daughter is graduating college, ask them how the graduation went later on in June. If they move companies, try to stay in touch with them. Friend them on Facebook. A lot of them are willing to do that so that you can kind of keep up with them. I like to try to friend them on the personal side and not their BDM Facebook. You know, like some of them have name BDM. Name of company. I am not a huge fan of friending that one. I try if they are willing after a while, not right out of the gate, friend them on their personal feed so that you can actually get to know them. And like I do this with my clients too. I want to know more about them than just where they like to travel because that is truly the difference between cultivating a relationship and cultivating access. People know when you care genuinely. Slowing down to introduce yourself and say hello is fucking bare minimum. If all you ever care about is what they can get They are going to clock that 1,000 miles away. Once you have started to build this relationship, it is okay to tell them your goals, what you're building. This is where you do talk about business. Your BDM cannot help you grow if they have no idea what your goals are. So tell them, make an appointment on the Calendly link in their signature, read their emails. If they're out of office, when will they be back? Give them a little time. And then reach out. Hey, is Thursday at one available? I would love fifteen minutes with you because I am starting to focus more on luxury Caribbean, or I'm trying to grow my European business through this tour operator. I want to launch hosted groups, and I'm not a hundred percent sure where to start, but I think meeting with you would be ideal to get some ideas. And again, this is not the first ask. This is after getting to know them a little bit better. And their product and attending some webinars that they've already put on where you can say, girl, I am trying to double what I sell with your company next year because I love your product. Be so specific. I sold $100,000 worth of sandals. I want to sell $250,000 in 2027. What are you working on? What are you trying to grow this year? What are your goals? Maybe we can help each other. Now you're having a business development conversation. That is literally what a BDM is there for, to develop business for the brand that they represent. It is not fire putter outer. There's literally somebody else that does some of that. I'm not saying they can't put you in touch or wouldn't be willing to help you, but they don't always have that kind of power. You have to know what each BDM is doing and every single supplier, every single brand does it slightly different. When you ask them, how can I support your business goals as well? You're really changing that conversation. You're taking it from what can you do for me? How can you help me? When am I getting on this fam? Can you fix this? Can you upgrade my client? To, hey, do you need help filling up your webinars? I'll invite my colleagues. Are they launching a brand new hotel? Maybe they need more advisors selling a specific destination. Maybe they need more client feedback from the field. You may be able to help with that. And sometimes support is as simple as just being on these calls, showing up to their lunches, sharing something that they've shared on social media, or even sending them business, like another advisor who's really good at the Caribbean, but doesn't sell that brand yet. Hey, I want to introduce you to one of my colleagues. I think that she would love your product. Maybe the 3 of us can get on a call. Relationships are reciprocal. And if there's something that grows naturally, organically, and again, you're likable, you're easy to work with, then eventually you can put yourself out there to be invited on this fam. Tell them you're interested in traveling with them. You don't want to sit quietly and hope somebody magically reads your mind. You can eventually say, I'm really trying to grow my Caribbean business over the next 2 years. If you ever have an educational opportunity that you think would be a good fit for my business, I would absolutely love to be considered for one of your FAMs. That is perfectly fine, especially if you've done all this other stuff. If you have connected with them and not just demanded they put out a fire and they do need to know what it is you're doing so that they can align with your goals right alongside you. So you do have to say it. You do have to put yourself out there. There, but you also have to release the outcome, and you may have to ask more than once. Don't keep asking like an obsessive small child, like a toddler asks. Be strategic. Plant the seeds, and then continue to show up. Continue to hop on their webinars. Send them thank you emails. Ask them how you can help them. Just it's a cycle, and it's not fast. Just like nothing else is fast in our industry. The way some of you guys want this to happen overnight, it makes me want to claw my own face off. And yes, your BDM has to like you. You. You need to be likable in all aspects of this industry. I know that sounds easy, but it's not for some of you. Some of you are extremely unlikable. Trust me, I see it every day and I'm like, man, just in social media, I can tell you're not nice. I can tell that you are manipulative. I can tell that you always want something, that you take more than you give. I can see it and so can they, but people do business with people they like. And I would say evaluate your likability. If you're struggling to acquire clients as well, if you can't seem to lock down that fam invitation two or three years in, I would really consider everything you have done prior to this moment because in this industry, first of all, it's small. People talk. Trust me, they talk a lot. And I know I'm not 100% likable, but when I want something and I'm networking to get it, I usually get it. It's not fake. I'm always genuine because I too do not do business with people I do not. Like, not directly anyway. I remember the people I like and I advocate and I refer the people I trust. And when we're talking about fam trips specifically and BDMs, again, they may have to travel with you for a few days, a week. So yes, they're 1000% thinking, is this person professional or do they just want a free trip? Are they fun to be around or are they going to drive me fucking nuts the entire time? Are they gonna show up on time? Are they flexible? Are they open-minded or are they going to complain? About every little thing? Are they going to get shitfaced and embarrass themselves and me? Are they going to treat hotel staff like garbage? How do they treat me? Will that funnel down? Are they actually going to participate? Will they tag me in their posts? Will they take time to learn while they're there, or are they just trying to go to the beach? What are their goals? Do I trust that they will sell my product after they get home? All of this matters to the BDM in question sending out the invitation. And you do not have to fake your personality. You do not need to kiss anybody's ass, but you should absolutely work on being someone people enjoy working with. And you need to be so fucking patient. Absolutely an important step in this process is you cannot rush it. You literally could be in conversations and asking when the next fam is for 2 years. I mean, it really is. Something that takes a lot of time. And I need you to stop thinking that that means this isn't working or that I'm full of shit, because I'm not. Because the relationship is the thing you're actually building. The fam is not the relationship. That invitation, not the relationship, y'all. The relationship is what creates the possibility of opportunities later. And if you do eventually get invited somewhere, do something with it. Learn. Show up, take notes, be early to every meeting place, create content, tag your BDM, market the product in your stories, sell it while you're there, follow up afterwards, be so gracious and grateful, bring a little small token of appreciation to your BDM for the end of the trip, write a handwritten thank you card and send it to their office. If you do happen to sell Right away, tell them. Tell your BDM what happened and thank them for this awesome chance to get to go see the destination because it was exactly what your clients needed to solidify their honeymoon. Express how grateful you are. Tell them, "Hey, I created this incredible marketing campaign. I would love for you to check it out." I launched this group because I loved this resort. I got three new inquiries. When I was on that fam, close that loop with them. Show them that investing in you mattered. Now, some of you are sitting there wondering if you're even allowed to build these relationships. I have heard that some of your travel agency hosts do not allow you to contact your BDMs directly. I hear this all the time that they limit that access. They don't tell you who they are. They say every conversation that you want to have has to go through an owner, but that's not true. Your owner may tell you that the BDM only wants to talk. Talk to the owner, but that's not true. You are allowed to have communication with your BDM. You are completely in the right to send a message directly to that person to attend their webinars and to ask for invitations. Now, if that relationship with your host agency owner is specific and that BDM falls in line for them, it might be a challenge. And it's okay for your host or your travel agency owner to kind of like cultivate the relationship as far as, hey, this is a new agent versus a veteran agent. And knowing when to contact a BDM, that's what your host travel agency owner should be teaching you. When is appropriate and not just because you want something, right? This conversation should really be had with them. Educating you on how to cultivate relationships with BDMs is really the role, in my opinion, of what a travel agency owner should be doing and not putting a wall or a barrier up to that BDM cuz quote unquote, you don't want to bother your BDM. You are allowed to bother your BDM, but no, they're not there to help you book a reservation. And I can sometimes understand why a host company would want to be involved if there is an escalating issue with a BDM. If you need help putting out a fire, I do think stepping into a role where you ask for help from your agency owner to see what the process is, if you don't have a relationship with that person and they do totally different. Again, it's different relationships serve different purposes within our industry. But telling ICs that they are not allowed to professionally know, meet, talk to, or cultivate, nurture those relationships with supplier representatives is complete and fucking utter bullshit. Your host may own that supplier agreement, they may negotiate the commission, they may have agency-level relationships themselves, but they should not be trying to prevent you from building your own professional reputation in this industry. A good host Would make those introductions. They would encourage you to come to trainings with that BDM. They would create networking opportunities. Your host travel agency owner should be teaching you exactly how to work with supplier partners appropriately, not building a wall up. Because here's the bigger picture: my Sandals BDM may not always work for Sandals. I may not always sell the same destinations I'm currently selling. My friend may not always work with AIC. She may choose a different preferred partner. Your BDM. May change suppliers, companies merge, people get promoted, territories change, but relationships can keep going beyond all of those changes. And that's why I don't want you building a relationship with a title. That's why you build relationships with the human being, the person. And I can tell you, if the only fucking goal here is to get invited on a FAM, that's just a ridiculous thought. The goal should be 5 years from now, 10 years from now, when somebody in this industry hears your name, they know who the fuck you are and they remember you for the right reasons. I really hope that this opened your eyes a little bit to how this industry works. And in this case, nothing has changed since I entered it. This has always been the way we should have been doing it. And I don't say you should be doing very often. That's probably not true. I usually tell you what to do, but I hope that this helps you from the BDM perspective. So many of you have questions about this so often, and I want to set the record straight. That you are not owed anything from any person in any part of this industry. You have to do the heavy lift on your business every single day, even if it's only ten minutes. One email is sent out. You don't have to work 24/7, but you do have to fucking work, and you have to show up. And if you want things to happen, you have to be willing to make them happen. You have to put yourself out there. Nothing is just coming and knocking on your front door. If you want travel agent friends. You have to make them. If you want travel agent relationships within the industry, you have to cultivate them. No one else can do that for you. At the very least, somebody might make an introduction, but that's only if you have a relationship with them. And yes, there are many, many, many layers to this, and there are many variables that determine lots of the things we talked about today, but you have control over you and your own actions, and sometimes it It takes years to get a result. So if you don't have a long-term mindset in this industry, it is going to be tougher and tougher for you to stay in it. I see advisors wash out every day because of impatience or because they're broke because they didn't have any money in their business bank account. One of those two things usually happens. There's just so many things we have to learn how to do. You have to be patient and gracious with yourself through that learning process. Process. And yes, sometimes it happens faster for others. Maybe they are more likable. I don't want you to change your personality, but I do want you to try harder and be honest with yourself about what it is you're doing for real. Like, be really honest with yourself or your business will stall. It will plateau. It will not jump the curve. And there is nothing anyone can do about it except for you. Take personal responsibility. Okay. Love you. Bye. Hey y'all, this is the end of another No BS Travel Advisor podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I am Marcie Muensterman and I am not your lawyer. I am not your accountant. That is my disclaimer. I am a coach and mentor with 20 years of sales experience. And if you love this episode, please leave me a 5-star review because it means so much to me. If you have any questions, you also know you can hit me up in the DMs at any time. All right guys, love you, bye!