Marina EdelmanFounder at TrueMe Counseling

Can You Affair Proof Your Relationship? (Marina on Marriage Podcast Ep. 3)

Name: Can You Affair Proof Your Relationship? (Marina on Marriage Podcast Ep. 3)
Uploaded: 2026-10-21T23:05:09+00:00
Duration: 1 min 13 s
Channel: Marina Edelman
Description: In this podcast excerpt, the speaker addresses how to "affair‑proof" a relationship, drawing on premarital counseling experience and research. Two…

21 Oct 2026 · 1 min

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1:13

In this podcast excerpt, the speaker addresses how to "affair‑proof" a relationship, drawing on premarital counseling experience and research. Two primary, research‑backed strategies are highlighted: (1) treating one’s partner as an extension of one’s family rather than merely a spouse, and (2) implementing a daily 15‑minute Gottman‑style check‑in that includes gratitude, appreciation, affection, and a “state of the union” discussion. The speaker also notes the paradox that “good people cheat,” referencing the book Why Do Good Men Cheat? and acknowledging that infidelity can occur even in happy marriages. The segment concludes with a client‑focused question: how to counsel individuals who have been cheated on and now fear future partners will also be unfaithful.

Chapters

Can you affair-proof your relationship? So when I work with individuals or couples in terms of premarital counseling, this comes up a lot. And so I have found a couple of things that research supports helps to affair-proof your relationship. One of them is actually seeing your partner as an extension of your family versus your spouse. Second, that helps with affair-proofing is A lot of check-ins. The Gottmans talk about a 15-minute ritual to connect and really implementing that as a daily ritual. So checking in like with gratitude, appreciation, words, and physical or verbal affection, and then state of the union. But simultaneously, when people ask me that, all the research shows good people cheat. There is a book written by a local author and she wrote, Why Do Good Men Cheat? People cheat even when they're happily married for a lot of different reasons. So I'm curious, when people come to you as individuals, they're like, I met this really great person, but I'm— I've been cheated on in the past. I feel like they're going to cheat on me. How do you advise them?