Ep. 59 Back to basics - as we begin to wrap this up!

Hello, I'm Mary Wanlis welcoming you to podcast 59. I think it was right back in podcast number one that I told you about my experience as a young writer, where I used to scratch my head and think, there's something my teachers aren't telling me, there's something my teachers aren't telling me. And I was reading every book I could lay my hands on to find out what it was. Well, by the time we get to the end of podcast 60, if you've attended all of them, you will have heard 20 hours worth of what my teachers weren't telling me, much of which was not known at that time. But the big deal was, of course, that they were unconscious of their competence, using instinctive knowledge. That was the result of their years of practice and their innate talent. The procedural skills they had that were not available to language and and that are cognitively impenetrable. They cannot be taken apart and known by the conscious mind. Dan Coyle makes the point in his book the Talent Code, which I really recommend that at first sight it seems amazing the way we invest so much time and energy and struggle in building and insulating the new neurological circuits that are the baseline of new skills. And then once those circuits function well, we forget we ever did it. And of course this makes sense because we need to automate those patterns to free up the brain space to learn more, because the conscious mind is a very limited tool within that forgetting, though, which we, as ride with your mind coaches, attempt not to do to the same extent that everybody else. We have the inherent problem of coaching and learning and the ultimate issue of a riding map in which X's are presented as A's. The discoveries of time and talent made by the elite riders, the revered riders of previous generations handed down to us that must by definition be X's, but they're presented to us as if they're as, and that creates a big problem. So this podcast is, as it were, my top tips for setting about learning in this environment. And the bottom line is it's about learning how to learn. This is the master art. It's a bigger art than learning to ride. And learning how to learn teaches you so much about your body mind and about how the skill works. It's fundamental, it's meta to the skills that you're trying to learn. In other words, a level above, a level more important. And within this, you're seeking flow. And within flow rate of learning doubles. One study with US army and shooting put learning rates up at 230% of what they were when flow was not emphasized and there was just traditional instruction. So in your learning how to learn, seek out good information. We've got to go beyond the X's presented as A's and a traditional map, which is so limited and so inaccurate. Also, beware the word should. When a trainer or a book says this should be happening, that should be happening, something else should be happening. It's not telling you how you get from here to there, it's just giving you a rod to beat yourself with. Ask yourself what's being presupposed in any statement that a trainer makes in a riding arena is the statement essentially do X. That can present itself as do nothing, just sit there, which kind of means just pretend you're me, which probably won't work. And it's the trainer's job to cross the skill gap between you and and her. Making everything too simple makes competent and dedicated people feel like idiots and sometimes appear like them too. But we need to believe that learning is possible and find out how to do it. You cannot get to what can seem to be a magical, remarkable, even impossible skill on poor, inaccurate information. But you can get there on good information. And underlying your thinking needs to be the notion that talent has a structure. It is not magic, it can be taught. There's a quote from Gregory. Any sufficiently developed technology is indistinguishable from magic, but it's actually based on the brain's ability with pattern recognition, on memory consolidation, on the construction of those neural networks which are underlying skill. And believe me, all riders have their cross to bear. Elite riders have a more functional body, but it's quite a cross to bear. When you put yourself out there on the world stage, your back up against the wall, and your cross to bear may be to do with injuries and previous difficulties with learning and falls. And it may be to do with what is known as nervous system dysregulation. We met this in our previous podcast on Polyvagal Theory. But if your system has been subjected to too much too soon, happening too quickly in a way that the system was overloaded, you may be stuck in fight or flight. And because actually a child can't fight or flee, you may have freeze superimposed on that fight or flight. And that could make you at times feel desperate. It could make you in the saddle be wiggly or shovey, it could make you give up easily. Or it could make you be too strong. It could make you struggle to set boundaries and have authority. We're in a well regulated nervous system. You can be present in your body and present in the moment, and you can listen and you can look and you can feel and you can process. If you suspect that nervous system dysregulation is one of your issues in learning and riding, there are some great free resources put out by Irene Lyon. That's L Y o N on YouTube and also on her website, irenelion.com. she's really well trained in this field and there's a lot you can learn. Okay, here's my next tip. Learning is not just made up of trying to be obedient. That's the opposite of learning. First of all, trying to is not the same as noticing. And those making distinctions and building circuits can't happen through trying. It needs noticing. Being obedient is not the same as experimenting. So you want to be learning in an environment which encourages noticing, encourages experimentation, and which it's okay for your experiments to not always work. The trainer needs to be able to go, no, it's not quite that. It come back to this. Now, can you find a way too, without noticing, without experimenting, you're denied access to flow. And you need an environment in which it's okay to flounder, it's okay to struggle, it's okay to get it wrong. Just trying to be obedient won't get you there. This is reminiscent of the mantra in tech companies of fail faster, you know, make loads of mistakes in the process of mapping the territory and finding out what works within this. Be willing to feel stupid in a subject you probably thought you knew well, and it really is true that experts can feel dumber about their subject than novices. And that's because the experts know what it is that they don't know. Or at least they know. There's a lot they don't know. Novices who are unconscious of their incompetence gaily assume they know it all. Experts can be remarkably humble. And the opposite side of the coin to that is the armchair expert who actually doesn't know what learning's made up of, doesn't really know the parameters, but has heard all the words that are traditionally used in the wordscape, which I would claim is not a very helpful map. The limits of my language are the limits of my world. That's a quote from the philosopher Wittgenstein. And the limits of your language are limiting your world. And there may be limits in your language that you don't even know there. Do you really know what stretch your leg down means? Do you really know what sit deep means? You might think you do. I think there could be many interpretations of those words. I have a new understanding recently of heels down. Lots of people I know know what they think that means, but they haven't found this feeling which involves one of the more obscure of the myofascial lines, the body's guy ropes. It changes the game. And people operating from the wordscape and from a limited map only see what they expect to see. They don't code what lies outside of those expectations. So we have a whole culture that doesn't even see the water ski motorboat interaction between riders and horses, which happens so commonly. The horse gets to tow the rider along, being the motorboat, the rider pushing in their stirrups, leaning back, pulling on the reins, being the water skier and the rider needing to change her posture and organization to change the horse's posture and organization so they don't have this counter dependence on each other. So within the being willing to feel stupid in a subject you thought you knew. Well, this is a great quote from the new book the Art of Impossible by Steven Kotler. He says when you get to the spot that everything you thought you knew was actually wrong, you're in the right space. I'm going to say that again. When you get to the spot that everything you thought you knew you realize was actually wrong, you're in the right place. That takes some doing. It takes some humility. And at first, learning can make us feel really stupid. Early lessons within this system of learning come can come down to body parts 101. No, you just moved your chest. I wanted you to just move your shoulder. Oh no, you hollowed your back. I wanted you to just lean forward. You're learning new concepts, new terminology, new skills. It brings new frustrations. It can make you feel like your progress is stalled. You might find yourself angry or upset about the present moment or the past. And actually frustration brings chemicals to the brain which primes it for learning. So this is not a terrible thing in the way it seems. Ask good questions, which of course you're not going to do if you think you already know. And within that, within the culture scape of riding questions have always been discouraged in riding arenas. That I think is the military background of riding and the fact that the conventional map doesn't provide really good answers. So asking questions can take courage in that external world and can really require rethinking what you thought you knew in your internal world. One of the consequences of this too is that struggling riders often think it's just them that's struggling. It's just them that can't do it. It's just them that doesn't have talent. Although talent is a process, not a you either have or haven't. But when a struggling rider thinks it's just her own ineptness and the culture perpetuates that, the culture is helping to keep that person powerless. There will be no demonstrations in the town square until Susie knows that Ellen also struggles and Ellen knows that Kathy struggles and Kathy knows that Denise struggles and everybody knows that everybody struggles and everybody comes together to go, you know, this really isn't good enough. We need better than this. But within this, your humility also involves beginning from where you are and recognizing that you can only get there from here. Now, I had to give up riding in despair and frustration before I found that out. I just wanted to be there. I was just trying to be a good rider. And that closed the door to those aha moments of being conscious of your incompetence. The moments of oh, I hollowed my back, oh I stopped breathing, oh, I curled my toes up. Oh, my horse just toggled me here or there again, oh, I've lost the balance point. And those moments set the learning process in motion. The got it, lost it, got it, lost it, got it, lost it of clocking up those repetitions, becoming consciously competent for both riders and trainers to understand that you can only get there by knowing what's here and what's happening now would change coaching and it's a really big deal. Along with this goes living the gain, not the gap. Now that's a quote from a very well known business coach, Dan Sullivan. There will always be something where you're getting it, losing it, getting it, losing it and somewhat frustrated by that process. And you could just beat your head against that brick wall or you could look back and go, well, three months ago I couldn't do this and six months ago I couldn't do that and a year ago and a few years ago. And living in the gain makes life a lot more pleasant and satisfying. Of course. It's possible though, that you've been stuck on a plateau for a very long time and this is very common. And that's because you're not getting enough news of difference into your nervous system. You're not in noticing mode. Oh, this just happened. Oh, this just happened. And trying mode and tune out mode won't do it. They will leave you stuck on your plateau, either enjoying yourself or getting very frustrated. Noticing mode and living in the gain, not the gap. Change it a lot. Surrender to the learning process. It is what it is. Surrender, maybe as well to the biomechanics. You know, I didn't make this up. I'm just the messenger. The got it, lost it learning process is all there is now. What's actually good for riders is that most of us have really good what's known as match quality between who we are and what we're attempting to do. And within match quality, research has shown there are five intrinsic motivators. They're curiosity, passion, purpose, mastery and autonomy. They keep us looking through that finer and finer microscope lens, discovering things we didn't know before, discovering what there is to discover this territory. And interestingly, good match quality between your interest and the skills or the sport that you do, maybe the work you do is a much better indicator of long term success than early specialisation and 10,000 hours. There's a wonderful quote from Gretchen Baylor, who's a snowboarder who really moved snowboarding forward. She said, you do the things you love and you try to get to their essence and you allow things to emerge. So doing the things you love implies curiosity and passion. You try to get to their essence. That implies you're working on mastery and you allow things to emerge. Your brain makes new connections and new discoveries along the way as you get those better and more astute microscope lenses. And what comes out the other end, in her case, was world class revolutionary skill. In your search for flow, be willing to struggle. Flow requires that the challenge is at least a little bit ahead of your skills. So total focus is required. Being in the moment is required and this lowers cognitive load. You forget about your troubles and your worries and your concerns of everyday life. That is its value, that's its inherent joy. But within this, as Daniel Coyle says, struggle is not an option. It's a biological, neurological necessity. As you build those skills, those new neurological pathways, and you insulate them with myelin so they become up to 3,000 times faster, there will be struggle. You cannot make the impossible, possible, the possible easy and the easy, elegant, all in one go. You need the trial and error of building those new circuits. And each one needs the aha to get you going on that process. As well as being willing to struggle, be willing to feel weird. We will always encourage you to feel weird, but few riders really realize how significant weird is. And there's something in human nature that wants to back away from weird. But there's no change without you feeling strange. And it will always feel bigger than it looks within that change. Just like losing a filling or Getting an ulcer in your mouth feels so much bigger than it looks. If you learnt your up downs 30 years ago and you come on a course with one of us, ride with your mind. Coaches expect to relearn your up downs. Expect to learn new terminology, new skills, new ways to think about it, and expect to feel really weird. And without a coach, you can have a good shot at this process on your own, with help from the webinars and the courses on dressagetraining tv, where we put this work out there on the Internet. And many riders have shown that it can really help you make a difference. So as well as struggling and feeling weird, be willing to feel frustrated. Here's a quote again from Steven. Frustration is simply an obstruction to a goal that demands an innovative response. It's necessary, it's progress, and it is a sign that the breakthrough is closer than you think for lifelong learning, for keeping this process going in the long term, he reckons you need, and I quote, an itchy dissatisfaction. I love that phrase. I have an itchy dissatisfaction I have had for the last 40 years. It's a deep sense of, what if I can change this? How can I make it better? What if this and that? How about if that kind of process led? Gretchen Baylor as well, I'm sure. And I'm going to say her quote again, because I just think it's beautiful. You do the things you love and you try to get to their essence and you allow things to emerge. So as you ride your horses in the next few days, whatever stage of your learning process you're in, I hope it's going to involve Got it, lost it, got it, lost it, got it, lost it, got it, lost it. Because that's what there is. That builds skill, that creates flow, it creates learning and satisfaction in that learning and joy in the moment. And I wish that for you and I will be back with you again very soon.