Buzz Cuts & Facials: The Truth About Marriage Maintenance

Hi, I'm Matthew Greger.

And I'm Nancy Greger.

We have this new podcast called "We Should Probably Edit This... But We Won't." So, today's topic is we're going to talk about maintenance. And I don't mean maintenance, car maintenance or anything like that, but this maintenance, or I should say this maintenance over here, what it takes, the difference between the two of us.

I don't know if that's really a nice thing to say, just because you just shave your head and boop, you're done. That's wonderful.

But, uh, we should probably edit this, but we won't. Okay, so tell me about your maintenance. What do you do?

You go first.

Well, but then the show will be done in a few minutes or a few seconds, so you start first. I mean, okay, so you've got— so what do you, what do you regularly, regularly take care of?

There's lots of things that I regularly take care of.

Uh, let's start with one and then I'll share one.

More so towards the latter part of my life than in the beginning part of my life.

Okay, in the beginning part of the life, what, you just let things go, or you didn't have that routine?

I, uh, I either didn't set the time or the money, or, you know, life in general. Raising 3 children, yeah, I don't think to do and still maintain I think it was all the above.

We didn't have money. We were both working, trying to scrape things around. We had 3 kids that took 90% of your time.

They took all the money.

And they took all your time too.

They took all the money.

Right, so there wasn't, and self-care at that time wasn't something that we focused on.

Though the one thing I would do and still do is get my hair done. And I've known my hairdresser— I think I've known Michelle for almost 35 years. Okay, long time. Really, really, really long time. But, um, all the ladies out there, you're always doing this when you find that hairdresser that you truly like, that, that you don't worry about going in and sitting there in the chair and walking and you're in total, uh, she's in total control of everything. That's a level of comfort that you get with through time. But that's probably the one thing that's remained very consistent, kids or no kids, um, except now I, I'm definitely on a much more regular maintenance, a regular schedule than you may have been back in the past. Yeah.

In the past, I think once it got out of control for you, gray hair, between the gray hair and the length, that's when you, um, would go.

When you would go, really have very long hair, but gray hair just was not acceptable, would not be something that I would tolerate. Well, you're different. You look good in gray. Um, I guess I don't look good in gray. Nope.

That's probably a big difference between the two of us. You know, it's like I I just take the razor or the cordless shaver and I just zip and I'm done. But I've always pretty much taken care of my own hair, even during the times when I had it short. I would just buzz it. There are very few times that I actually went and had my hair cut.

Maybe you should have.

What?

Maybe you should have. Maybe that would have been something that there still might be hair on your head.

Oh, you think that's the cause of my hair loss? Me cutting my own hair? I don't think so. I think it was just the—

no, but when I met you, you weren't bald. Do you have a bald head?

Yeah. And I would go, I would go, I would go to the hair— I wouldn't cut my own hair back then.

Thank God you wouldn't cut your own hair. No, but when I probably would have said something to you if I saw you—

when I started using like just a, you know, a little buzz there, about a 3 or a 1, I'd bounce— I'd jumped between a 1 and a 3, and then finally I just said forget it and just went bald. But that's only been within the last 5 years, I think. No, I think it's been longer that I've been bald. Yeah, it's been buzzed for a long time. Yeah, but, but so my, my, my hair maintenance is pretty much none to just— I would say every other day you know, I'm shaving it. So yep, so I'm taking care of it myself, giving myself a scalp massage.

There you go.

And then it's a matter of just keeping this trimmed. Sometimes it's not always trimmed. Yes, um, yes, this is meaning my beard when I say this. Um, but now, but now it's— there's more hair in the wrong places that you have to trim, whether it's the eyebrows that are out of control, that they just continue to go. I have to keep those trimmed.

Have you been trimming your own?

Yes, I do.

See, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done that.

I do.

When I'm trimming the beard, I've even trained your children not to do their own. No, physically go.

But I do, but I do it. I set it to about a, about a number 3 or whatever that I have on here, and I just, I just do that because if they get too long, then I start to look like— who was the guy that was on TV all the time that, um, Morty? Um, no, no, I don't remember his I know who— I know who you're talking about. Yeah. And then you get the hair in the ears too. I have to trim that too because it gets started getting longer on the side of my ears. Yeah.

Wow, this is something new I didn't know about. I would have been like, you must be doing this on the side when you're in the bathroom by yourself.

No, you just— you're too— well, see, there you go. You're too, too focused on your routine in the morning and the, the other maintenance part that you have to do.

There's a lot of routines. There's a lot of maintenance. Just a lot of maintenance.

Well, you're focused on yours, so you're not recognizing— you don't see that I'm actually doing extra things to myself, although it's only there for that. That's like weekly things that I do versus trimming the nose hairs and trimming the ear hairs and trimming the eyelashes, eyebrows that your wife does.

Yeah, well, there's a lot— there's lots of things.

Okay, well, what is— what do you— what do you do for maintenance? What else besides hair do you do?

Uh, I get my nails done every 2 weeks. Okay, I get my nails done and my toes, so I get a manicure and a pedicure. I keep it really simple. I don't, uh, I'm not into like little things putting on your fingers, or, you know, great though I've seen them, and I can appreciate a lot of young people when they have like little studs, diamonds, or fake little studs on their fingers, or their fingernails are really long. Um, mine are really long right now, but usually when I go in, she'll trim them down. She's also somebody that I've known for a very long time.

And you, and you don't do well with different colors?

I don't. I've tried, I really have. I've tried like, you know, putting red for Christmas, and then I'm constantly looking at my finger saying, oh my God, it's so bright and it's so annoying. And I just, I just can't, I can't do it. So I keep it very simple. I do a French manicure all the time. So every once in a while I've, you know, I've tried, but it doesn't last very long. And my nail technician will tell you, you know, her name is Rachel. She'll say to you, are you sure you're going to want to do this? Because you know you're going to be back in a week. And I'll say, to get them reset, to get them, to get them to take that off. Um, and I'll say to her, no, I'll, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll, I'll be here, but I'll be back in 2 weeks instead of the following week. I'll be back in 2 weeks and I'll say, take that off.

But that's another thing that you've done kind of as the children have left. Yes, because before, yeah, I mean, you went through painting your own nails during—

I did my own. I would do, uh you know, I just, I wouldn't go out and have it done. Um, the pedicures though, those were always a special treat. If I could do that, I would do that. But manicures, not so much. But once the kids were pretty much off to college, uh, and they weren't home, um, it's amazing how much free time you have in your life where then you can just refocus. And that's what I did. I just refocused on me. And then in the last— how long have we been in this house? 5 years? We've been here for 5 years. So I would say—

6 years. 6 years now.

I would say within the last 3 years, 3 to 4 years of being in this house, I started doing more facials.

Okay, let's not jump to that for a second. Let me talk about my, my manicure. So, I mean, so you're gonna go comparing body part to body part? No, we don't have to, but I'm just saying For my manicure, it's just clip, clip, clip with the clippers, you know. Um, okay, so once a week or two.

Should we all give you a sense of applause?

No, I'm just saying, I'm just— no, I'm just saying that, that I have a different maintenance schedule on mine. My maintenance is self-maintenance on my fingers. I can't— I couldn't do that to have somebody touch my nails, especially my toes, you know.

But my feet are webbed anyway.

Well, my feet could use some extra work when it comes to removing them. The, um, and scraping.

And you should talk to your sons because they'll go get pedicures. They don't do it very often, but they will go get a pedicure. Okay, so you should ask your sons what that was like.

I don't know if I could have anybody put their fingers between my toes. I can't even wear flip-flops. I have to wear sandals that have nothing between my toes.

Well, the beauty of it all is, is that you're not getting your toes painted, so there's no reason for them to go in between your toes.

No, it's just the touching, touching, touching, touching the toes. No.

I can't help you then.

I struggle as it is just to be able to cut them myself.

So you're gonna have big problems if there's ever a point in our lives where I'm supposed to take care of your toes. You're not gonna like it. We will definitely have to hire somebody to come in and clip that.

No, I could just see you cutting them too short and I'll be in pain. You'll, you'll make some kind of comment like, it's fine, it's fine, it's not too short, but yeah. Then it's like I'm going, oh, and I would—

and if you're gonna make— what happened that one time, one time you asked if I could trim your— the sideburns. Do you remember that one time we were living in Queens at the time, first newly married, and you said something to me?

I don't know why I would have sideburns in the first place.

Well, no, it was trimming the sides. Okay, right. And I had never done that before, and using You know, the, the trimmer, the clipper.

Yep.

And you must have said something to me or something, and the next thing I know I said, and you stopped and asked me what happened. I said, no, nothing. And I had accidentally cut it up too high, almost made like a line.

Um, yeah.

And then he looked at me and said, that was it. And you ended up doing it yourself, but you had to go even higher on the other side because of the mess I made.

So I would say that there's very— not very often would we actually perform maintenance on each other.

No.

I mean, I did paint you. I used to paint your toes.

That was a long time.

Yeah, a long time ago.

That was, that was even before children.

No, it wasn't. But I bet it was, um, actually I do, I remember that. Yeah, that was like a routine that we had for a while that I was—

because it was, it was easier, less bending for me, right? And right, you could— and you paint so well, so I didn't see that. I didn't see the story in that.

No, but, um, so anyways, you were, you were talking about other maintenance things, facials, I think, and when I interrupted you. I do facials, uh, so that was, that was since we've been here, you said about We've been here about 6 years.

But it wasn't when we first started because remember we had COVID. So from 2019 to like 2021, 22, we really didn't— you weren't going out to do anything. Even getting my nails done was, was not something that happened.

I think you had to go back doing them yourself for a while.

I remember my nail technician texting me and, and giving me, um, tips on what I needed to do myself, uh, just to keep them going. But she was even willing to have me go her house to her garage where she had, she'd set up a, a makeshift nail studio because, and it was the same thing with the hairdressers. The hairdressers were getting bombarded with phone calls from people that needed to color their hair. And so they got to the point where they would mix your color and they would leave it outside in a box. You'd pay for it online and you'd go and pick up your hair color and you had to do it yourself. No, I was probably the one and only time I, I went. I think I might have purchased an over-the-counter, probably color, but it wasn't— it was later on, like a good year into COVID, before they suddenly realized they had to— you know, people were just— women were just living. Let me put you— there's one thing women will do. It could be a pandemic. If they really want to get their hair done, they will figure out a way to make it secure for both the, the hairdresser and themselves.

I think, I think a lot of people just kind of just let things go. There wasn't much maintenance during—

it wasn't during—

because number one, you weren't seeing anybody else anyway, right?

And then you were wearing the mask, so theoretically this— you know, no one would see this part of your face, only your eyes. So I felt like we were like in the Middle East where we all had to wear like, uh, I can't think— they call them the habibs, where all you would see is the woman's eyes. You wouldn't see anything else. And it was like, okay, so you could do great eye makeup, but you didn't have to worry about any other makeup anywhere else on your face.

You didn't have to worry about makeup at all, but, but if you didn't want to. But that's, that's maintenance that you do often.

I do.

So your facials?

I do facials maybe once a month. I haven't done it in a couple of months. I haven't done it with my normal girl who does my facials. I did a couple of them while we were away, or with our daughter, so I didn't, I didn't go to see her, but I'll be going back to see her. So I do, and with facials I've also experimented because the older we get, the more tucking we require.

But you're not tucking anything? Not yet. That's going to be another maintenance cycle that you're going to do.

That will be the next.

Hopefully not. I don't know. I like, I like you the way you are.

Yeah, it's not for you. I know, that's the thing. Everything I do is for me, has nothing to do with anybody else.

Okay.

And that's why you should do it.

You've had laser treatments too?

I've had laser treatments done. I've had microneedling done. Um, oh, I think that's about it. I mean, I've had experiences with other techniques, and you know of one that didn't go really well. Um, so I don't do—

I don't do that. Cold therapy?

Yeah, it was the ColdSculpting. Oh yeah, that wasn't That wasn't good.

No, I had to go on an emergency and come pick you up. They were going to have to take you to the hospital?

They were gonna take me to the hospital. And I said no, no, no, let's not do that.

Anybody who thinks they need to freeze part of their body needs to rethink that. There is something about cold plunges—

No!

That people are doing but this was worse than cold plunge.

Listen everybody has a different reaction to different things.

The thing about it is you didn't tell me what you're doing.

Correct. Most of time I don't tell you what I'm doing on my Facebook account.

But you could've given me a heads-up because all of a sudden I'm trying to figure out I got that emergency call.

Who would have known that there would have been— the most I probably would have said to you is, I'm good after work, I'm for— I'm going to this place to have some work done. And that would have been it. You wouldn't have known specifically what kind of work I was having done, but you would have— you wouldn't have said anything.

And why wouldn't you tell me?

I don't know. I think it was—

I honestly didn't want to hear what my opinion—

no, because I, I don't ask you for your opinion now when I go do all kinds of stuff to my face.

No, I know, but I mean, you know, I'll give it to you at times. You, you're, you know, I've learned, I've learned, let me put this way, I've learned over the years just let it go and not to, not to ask or just, or to say anything or give you any comments. The only thing that I'll say is, and I'll continue to say, is that I think there's some things you don't need to do. I like you the way you are, then that's great.

But like I said, it's not because for you, it's for me. It's the same thing that when I finally got my my eyebrows put on, my eyebrows tattooed and worked on. I've had that done.

Thank God. And I want you— that's all I can say is thank God that happened.

I want you— and that's, that saved me a lot of time. But I also want you to know that the first time I did it and I had the, the eyebrows was one of the most painful things I have ever done to myself. It wasn't, it wasn't Like, and I will tell you that there are people that I've talked to, even, even the hair— the salon I go to, because it was at the salon I went to that they hired this girl to, to do the, the, um, the tinting of your eyebrows. And at least 3 of the hairdressers have done it, and each one of them, they will never, ever, ever, ever subject themselves to that again. And I lucked out that I found someone else when I needed touch-up. I was, I had, I was, I was having some palpitations because I was saying to myself, it's going to be incredibly painful, and I wanted to avoid that as much as possible. And I have found through my girlfriend's daughter, who had found someone who had a different technique for, for putting on the eyebrows. And I went to see her and it was like the best experience. It was the, the best amount of money I could have spent to have my eyebrows redone. And it saves us so much time.

It's funny, it's funny, I'm trying to keep mine shorter and you're trying to add more to yours.

So, well, there's, there's differences. I mean, we lose hair and sometimes hair grows back great. Sometimes hair doesn't grow back really good. I'm glad you got those done because the hours that you would spend working on them and trying to get them perfect and trying to get them the same, the same on both, the same on both sides, it was really, really hard. It's really, really hard. So I, I was glad I, I did it the first time. They came out great. It will—

it—

but it was an experience I will never forget and now do my very best to forget that I ever did it. But yeah, I did do it. It was very, very painful.

So what else do you do to your eyes?

Uh, I put my lashes on. That I probably do every 2 weeks as well.

Um, so in the morning, I'm done in about 5 minutes after I get out of the shower. You're about 45 minutes. So I mean, so we time— it's just a matter of timing things the right way. I mean, you always go first, um, so that I can take my shower and shave and get ready. And we usually end up being about ready at the same time.

About ready at the same time. But, and there are moments, especially if we're flying really, really early in the morning— we've done that in the past— for me to sometimes, I'll, you know, I might get away with some minimum stuff. But most of the time, you know, it's my hair really. That I probably end up always making sure that I wash it and then blow dry it because it can— I can look like a lunatic if they're— if it's not, if it's not dried correctly. So I'll do, I'll do that. So yeah, but otherwise, no, I mean, I've gone a couple of days without wearing makeup if we're doing things around the house, working on something around the house. And I know that's what we're going to be doing. I don't, I don't. And when I go to exercise, you've seen me exercise in the mornings when we go. There's no makeup on my face. My hair is pulled back into two little knobs on my head to get it out of my, out of my face. Um, I'm not going to the gym looking with earrings on, jewelry on, and makeup on. I don't even put lipstick on. I brush my teeth and That's the other maintenance that we do.

We're trying to work on our body to, to get it in shape. I mean, I enjoy riding the bike in the morning. I'm trying to figure out how to stretch and do yoga. Um, I definitely, I definitely need to learn how to, how to move my body a little better. And that's something that, that as we get older is really important. Because you get stuck, especially in the, in the job that I'm at where I'm sitting all day.

Yeah, it's—

I've got to work on, on that, either taking the stairs or just getting up every hour and moving, you know. So that's, that's still maintenance that we work on the body there. I mean, there is one other thing that you do quite often, and it makes that noise in the morning I hear, and, and I'll smell this— I'll smell the steam coming off the fresh clothes.

Oh, I iron, but we've discussed this before.

I know, but that's maintenance on your clothes.

It's a routine, and it's not done all the time. It's done when I feel there's wrinkles on what I want to wear, in which case I will iron. Yeah, but that for me is a different, a different place when I go to iron. I'll just—

okay, so it's, it kind of also is therapeutic for you.

It's just a different, you know, relaxing moment. That's probably why I'm always late to get to work. I'm late, um, because I have to iron the clothes I'm gonna wear. So that usually takes up— that takes up sometimes 10 minutes. Yeah, for me. And every once in a while someone asked me to do his shirt.

Yes, thank you, I appreciate that. There's one in your closet right now that I want, that I want done.

There's one in the closet now that you want done. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I mean, there's another thing that you introduced me to that I would have never done, and that was having a massage.

Ah, but we don't do that often.

No, when we travel.

When we travel, because if we're going to places that are resorts, they usually have a spa treatment, and a good massage can really just work a lot of frustrations. And it's probably the one time when you could really calm down.

Like, I don't know, the last one that I had, I don't think I could calm down very much. I told her, she asked me if I wanted light, medium, or full strength kind of thing. I said, "Let's try medium." Man, I didn't know that I had that many knots on my back. And I thought for sure I was going to be fully bruised and everything. I mean, I actually felt good afterwards, and I'm surprised that I was that tight and wound up with it. That's the thing. That you learn about yourself. You know, you don't think you're that way until you have somebody work on you like that.

And then you're like—

and that was like, oh yes.

So yeah, so doing— have— doing that every once in a while, that, that to me is— that's like a special treat to, to do the massage, because I don't do massages every day. I really—

the back to back—

oh, it's just sitting differently. I don't do massages every month. I really, truly— it's when, it's when we're going away, right? And then I try to sneak it in.

It's like once a quarter right now.

Yeah, so like we're going to, uh, Arizona in a couple of weeks, like in October, uh, we're going to a resort.

I don't think we're going to be doing a massage then.

We might, especially if we're flying in the night before and the event doesn't start until that night. You have that morning, you can put it in.

Okay, we'll see, we'll see.

But I think we, we could still kind of squeeze one in, if, if they have it. I don't know, I haven't looked. Um, but I always liked— and we do a couple's one, so we're in the same room most of the time. We're doing couples massages, right? So we're in the same room, you know, we're feeling— and then when you're, you're done, you feel really, really relaxed. Yeah, you know, really rejuvenated. I think the one I did when I went with your daughter to that resort That was like multiple different types of massages that, that were done. And I think the last one I did, I was like, oh, that was like, no, won't do that again. But that was the one time I did quite a few.

Yeah, um, it's definitely a different feeling that I, that, um, I mean, I haven't— I've only been doing it about a year now.

Yes, but you know what it was like at first. You were really tense.

That's all I can say is don't give me the heated blanket and the extra blankets on there. It's too hot. And then I feel like almost like, yeah, I don't know, just a weird feeling. But then later I get a little bit cooler. So it, it's when I first get started that I don't want to be under the covers so hot. So yeah, I don't have that particular problem, but that's, that's—

but that's for you and you decide how you want it. And that was it. But doing those on occasion when we're away. I think that's— it's a relaxing time. Yeah, it's cool.

I mean, you, you convinced me to do a facial once.

I gave you a facial for your birthday. Yes, and you convinced me to go, and you went to the, to the girl that I go—

Gina, who did your, who did your facial, who enjoys taking things out of your face.

She does. She loves— oh my God, if you have any type of acne whatsoever, that woman's gonna make it.

Blackheads on your nose, she is going to remove them.

Yeah, uh, and you're gonna leave like, ooh, but I'm, I'm a good job.

I'm, yeah, I'm— they don't do anything for me, so, uh, so I mean, it's— I would do it again at some time, but that's like maybe once or twice a year that I would do it for me. Um, in, in the evening, I barely even wash my face.

Oh, we'll see. That's a totally different thing. We have a totally different routine.

Yeah, well, you gotta—

maintenance for washing your face.

You gotta first take everything off.

I first gotta take it off, and then I've gotta do some other hydration going on. I gotta figure out what I'm gonna wear for the evening. I may have little areas I have to work on. I may do a mask.

So I don't do a mask all the time, just a mask under your eyes, or just a full mask.

It's It's definitely— it all depends on how much time I have before I want to get to bed. If I have 30 minutes—

well, that's part of your wind-down routine. That is my wind-down. But sometimes I don't know, using the 3-2-1, your, your last hour is focused on me, on you, and, and on your nighttime routine.

On my nighttime routine. What am I going to pluck, or what am I going to, you know, dry up, or what kind of lotion I'm going to be putting on and moisturizer, whatever the case might be. But yes, you're—

you know, brush my teeth and I'm done.

You're done. And, and that's, that's okay, um, for you.

Yeah, I probably could do some work when I get— when I start to get the flaky, flaky skin from the—

you have medicine that takes care of that though.

Yeah, I just have to make sure that it's—

you just got to put it on.

Periodically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, those are, those are things that for, for men, sometimes some very basic things you can get away with. A lot of very basic things. I never understood that, but you know, you're— you could be a much more, uh, natural look, whereas even women trying to look natural takes some time. It's not like— I think the only time that women are natural is when they're kids.

No, I don't know. There's— I think, I think it's more and more often that there's a lot of women that are, that are going with less makeup and trying to be going with just natural beauty.

Usually those women are running around dealing with children and don't have the time and the energy to sit there and make themselves made up in any way, shape, or form. And they're going to be going to see other mommies that are looking exactly the same way, exhausted and tired with some bags on your eyes. Maybe you'll get away with a routine in the evening. But like I said, children suck a lot of your energy to, to manage.

Or when you get old, or when you get older, you just don't care anymore. Yeah, some, some do. But yeah, I'm, I'm not—

I don't know, maybe I will. Maybe when I'm 70 or when I'm 80, you— it might be a completely different thing.

It may not matter anymore.

It may not. It may not be as important to me. But who I don't know, I can't answer that question. I mean, I look at some other women that are out there that you see on TV or that you see in magazines and so on, and some of those ladies are in their 70s, some are in their 80s, and they look fabulous. Yeah, but they also do use— still, they still do use makeup and they still do some touch-ups and they still moisturize.

This is one reason you wouldn't be good at camping with me. I would love to go camping more, but I think that— I think that— I mean, well, all right, let's define camping. I mean, if it's in a tent out there and there's limited water supply, then it's not so much the water supply, it's the bathroom.

It's the bathroom.

Yeah, well, there's a bathroom there, but it's not like—

okay, a lot different.

I know you want the RV.

A lot of difference between the boys and the girls.

All right, well, on, on that note, we should probably edit this, but we won't. Until next time, bye! See you later, bye!