Dad Jokes, Deep Roots & The Things We Inherit

Hi, I'm Matthew Greger.

And I'm Nancy Greger.

We have this new podcast called We Should Probably Edit This.

But we won't. Hi. Hello.

So today's episode, we're going to talk about fathers since today's Father's Day.

Yay!

Since today's Father's Day. Well, when this it goes out, it will no longer be Father's Day.

Doesn't matter. I know it's Father's Day right now.

That's right, Father's Day.

So let's, let's—

I'm a father.

Really?

And a grandfather.

And a grandpa. You're, you're a G-pa. We're G-ma and G-pa. Why is the TV moving down?

It just— because I moved, it decided to move. There we go. Oh, it automatically moves.

Yeah, I don't know if I like that, but okay. So anyways, today is Father's Day.

Yes, it is.

And in celebration of Father's Day, unfortunately my dad has since passed. He's been dead for almost 10 years now. Um, but I, I will say though, my dad, um, he was a flawed human, and I don't know if every parent is, uh, not without flaws. I mean, I think we certainly have—

I've got my share.

We got our share. But he was very, very much the type of guy who was very encouraging and very supportive. My dad would always say to me, I could be anything and do anything I want. Like, there was no limitations whatsoever. Um, he was very supportive that way. Um, I wish he was more in line with that for himself, but when he passed away, I think I learned more about how his upbringing was all about and what really meant for him when he was growing up. And he had a really, really tough childhood, and so I think to some extent he tried to do everything in the opposite of what it was like when he grew up. But there were certain demons that were very hard for him to overcome, and that wasn't something he was able to do. Not that it necessarily meant he was, you know, he kind of thrust it down on me. He didn't. It was just the more or less his life, you know. He, I think he had a lot more demons inside that he didn't know how to deal with, and, and I was too young of a kid to really help him deal with. And even if I could, I don't know if he necessarily would have done anything different.

I mean, on that note, it's like family— families, you know, we're not going to necessarily listen to our family half the time.

We don't, because, you know, let's face it, we know nothing, right?

But I mean, even, even if you were to say something to him, he may not have heard it from you.

No, because I was probably too close to the situation. And so therefore, when you're too close to the situation, you don't hear what that other person has to say or do. But it's Father's Day, and good, bad, or indifferent, we didn't come to this world without a mom and a dad.

So yeah, whether your father or mother is with you or not, or left you, um, and you didn't even know them, or you know them really well and they're your best friend Yeah, it's still a good day. Yeah, my, my father growing up, he was, he was around the majority of my upbringing that I, that I remember. He was always, he was always there. He had, he worked, um, different jobs throughout it. Early on, from what I remember, he had his own landscaping business in Santa Barbara, and, and I always thought that was you know, great to go to work with him, um, and, and ride in the back of the pickup truck too. Yeah, but we had— it had tall sides on it, so it wasn't like we're gonna fall over. The main thing is we had to hold on because— and he, he didn't drive crazy when we were in the— when we— my brother and I would sit in the back at times and And it was a fun experience to go to work with your dad. And he would teach me different things too when we were landscaping. You know, obviously I was too young to do a lot of work, but I would help him either bring some tools or help him pick up clippings or something like that. Stuff from the ground. Yes, stuff from the ground. I mean, he taught me to really enjoy gardening and planting. So I think that's the most that I took from my father was the ability to appreciate plants and the landscaping. And later when we moved to— well, we've always had a garden and a compost.

That's the one thing that probably resonated. But, you know, the odd thing is that Relationships between sons and fathers and daughters and fathers are really, really diverse and different. You know, my dad wasn't about to take me— wasn't about to take me to work, but he really wasn't into gardening anyways. But we lived in the city, we lived in New York.

I mean, taking you to work would have been more of a challenge.

It would have been radical. It would have been a really radical thing. Even my mother wouldn't take me.

What did he do? What did he do when you were growing up?

When I was growing up, my father worked in a, in a, in a warehouse. He, um, worked his way up to a supervisory role working for, I think the company was called Floreshine Shoes.

Okay.

So they were in the city, in the tri-state area, and all I remember is that there were men's shoes. Too bad they weren't women's shoes. They were men's shoes. So my dad would always come home with some pairs of shoes, you know, dressy, casual, not sneakers because that's not what they were about, but, you know, dressy shoes. So my dad would— my dad had a lot of shoes.

Maybe you got that from your father, not your mother. Geez, the amount of shoes that you have.

I know, wait a second, something's coming out that I didn't really realize. Yes.

Well, you just learned something now.

Yes, my dad had a lot of shoes. A lot of shoes, but it's because he were— I just— he didn't go out and buy them. It was because he worked for this company and he was only able to bring a pair of shoes home. So he always brought— he always had a lot of shoes, but, but he was, you know, that kind of worker. He wasn't, um, my dad wasn't handy at all. There was no handiness about my dad.

Um, you know, hammering, My father was quite handy, and I remember the biggest thing that he taught me was, especially if we had to borrow a tool or something, I could never understand. And I said, I said, why, why are you cleaning this up so much? Like, if he borrowed a shovel, he would hose it off and sometimes even sharpen the point of the shovel, because he said, if you borrow something, you always return it in better condition than how you received it. And I remember camping, going on trips.

Oh no.

It was when we moved to Northern California, before we moved there, we went camping on the Russian River in the redwood forest. And those were days that really meant a lot to me, especially as a family coming together, rafting down the Russian River. Exploring the redwood forest, fishing. It was great. And then it seems like we'd always go on vacation somewhere and then we'd end up moving there. Oh. It seemed that way to me. Wasn't always the case, but that's what happened when we moved to Northern California. And then when we did, going fishing on the ocean and clamming in Bodega Bay, um, and finding bloodworms in the— in Bodega Bay. Those were, those were interesting. Bringing one home and having the cat play with it.

My dad— but that wasn't me. Uh, well, like I said, we lived in the city, so it wasn't necessarily a lot of nature. I— maybe my dad would have appreciated if he had a boy first, because then he could have done some of that camping kind of stuff.

I don't see your father ever camping. Sorry.

Yeah, no, but, um, my uncle did. His brother did. And and I wouldn't say it was camping.

Yeah, I wouldn't call it camping either.

Not in your, not in your standards. But you know, in my family, the— so my father had 3 siblings and all of the siblings had children and we all, they all had girls and the first 7 of us were girls and we were each 1 year apart from each other. So it was probably the girls weren't the best a lot to, to take out camping. But that wasn't, that wasn't what this was. But I do know that my dad loved the outdoors because one of the, one of the trips, vacations that we went to, um, was in like an upstate New York. It was a dude ranch. And I remember my dad saying, we're going to go to a dude ranch. And I'm like, I don't know what a dude ranch is. And he says, oh, they're going to have horses, we're going to go horseback riding, they're going to have all these other outdoor activities. And I just looked at him and saying Mm, yeah, I don't know about that. And so we went to this, this dude ranch, and I was able to bring my cousin with me. And so we were kind of inseparable anyways, but so my cousin and I went, and one of the experiences— we had to ride a horse. Now, I have never, never ridden a horse. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever saw a horse.

Well, you are the donkey whisperer now.

Oh yeah, but that's That's a different story. But so I remember the, the, the guy came out and he had to match you with a horse. And I looked at my dad and I was like, I, I, I don't know about this.

Matched you on height, which horse, or was it temperament?

Your temperament.

Okay.

So if you've never been on a horse before, you know, he would kind of give you like the docile, the gentle one. So the guy comes around and he asks us each, even my mom, because my mom did it too, which was amazing.

And yeah, that is amazing.

So we get up on these horses, and I remember Lee was in front of me and I was behind Lee, and I think my parents were a little bit behind. And the next thing I know, we're at a certain section and this horse decided it wanted to gallop.

You mean have a mind of its own? They must have paired you up with the perfect horse.

They paired me up with the right one. Yep. And the next thing I know We're galloping and we're going faster and faster, and I'm saying to myself, um, um, where's my family? And they were— and I had no control. If this horse wanted to go where it was going to go, I was just— I was on your back to follow you wherever you wanted. And I remember the guy yelling, saying, don't panic and don't get worried, it knows how to get home. And I'm like But I remember my dad was like— my dad—

people couldn't hear that.

I, I just looked at the guy and I was just like, I don't— I, I don't even know where I am, and so I'm glad that this horse knows how to get home. And I remember my dad saying, don't get nervous! And he's yelling this because by this point I'm like—

is he yelling in Spanish or—

no, no, English. My parents, they only spoke Spanish, so Both of my parents weren't born in the United States. I'm first-generation American, and my parents were each born in their receptive countries, so their first language wasn't English. It was always Spanish. Um, and at home with their family, they spoke fluently. But when I was born, my parents did not want me to have the stigma of having an accent, which I laugh because most people will say, you must be from And I'd say, yes, I'm from New York, because there is an accent to northern people. But in any case, they didn't want me to—

New Yorkers, to New York. Okay, not northern people, but New Yorkers in particular.

Okay, specifically. But my parents—

you may not have the Hispanic accent, but you got the New York one.

And, and the thing about it is, is that my first language wasn't English because I had lived in Puerto Rico when I was younger. So So when I started to talk, I only talked in Spanish. I didn't talk in English. Um, but when I came to the United States, back to the United States, my parents were very adamant about not speaking Spanish at home. They only spoke English. They would talk Spanish, which made me laugh. They would talk Spanish if there were other people around that either too, they didn't want it. They didn't want them to know what they were talking about. Or family members were back, and in which case their native tongue felt a lot easier to talk. But I understood, and in many respects I still could speak Spanish. But that was the fun thing about— my parents were like kind of like a little kooky that way. Some people now, you hear them and they'll say, no, I speak my native tongue at home, but my children speak English when they're outside the door. And they do speak English as well. But that was one of One of the things that my dad was very, very proud of, because he did become an American citizen, and he was very proud of becoming an American citizen. And back then, I don't know if they do that now, but back then you, you had to take a class and you physically would go to a class.

You still have to. I don't know what the classes are like, if some are online or in person, but different. But you still have to take a test. Yeah, you still have to do it.

You still had to take it.

Let me put it this way. Most immigrants that come here that become citizens know more than most natural-born Americans because they've had to, you know, be tested. You know, my parents are— they were born and raised in the States, and, you know, when we moved from Northern California to Alabama, I think that was the most— the biggest cultural shock for me, going from the West Coast to the Deep South.

Deep South.

It was My father at that time, we weren't sure, he wasn't sure what he was going to do, and for a while he had several jobs.

Yeah.

He started off working for the city of the small town that we lived in as a garbage man for a while. We were living in a house that we rented for $25 a month. It needed work, but we didn't own it, so we didn't do that much work, but We lived there when we lived in Alabama. That was the only place that we lived in besides staying with my aunt and uncle for a while. But my father started out as a garbage man there, and then he became a police officer for a short time. It's amazing what they would give someone a gun with little to no training. And I don't think he really didn't like that at all, that job. And then he went to work for for the Tennessee Valley Authority. He was working back in plants and working with, I guess, something to do with the heat from the power plants, and they were recycling it and working with plants at the time. But he's always been with plants. And then later he got a job with International Paper Company and we moved to Natchez, Mississippi. And so he worked for IP for, for, for many years.

And all those things had some formidable years for you because you were a teenager during that time.

Because, yeah, but he was— but my dad was always around, you know, taking us fishing, doing things with us. As we got older, we had different projects. I remodeled the basement area of the house that we were in, and he— I did most of the work, but he was, he was always there to give me guidance, especially when it came to using tools and how to use them. And I always looked up to him on how, and how to use them and what to do. And so what amazed me later when he came to visit, you know, I expected him to take more control over some of the projects we would work on, but then it shifted where I guided him.

You did all, you did all the, all, all that stuff. I know my dad was like, uh, definitely like I said, he wasn't handy, but he was a lot of— it was a lot of fun. And my dad, well, in the beginning, some— just some background— in the beginning, my parents divorced, and they were divorced for a few years of the early part of my life. And then as they, um, later on, they kind of got back together. So my dad always, the time that I would spend with him, wanted to be that fun dad, wanted to do the fun things. And so we would go to like Rye Playland, we would go to Coney Island.

Um, hold please, I'm just gonna put on vibrate. Keep going, keep talking about Playland. This will be in the middle of—

so my, um, my dad would take me to Playland and Coney Island, and that's what we would do. We would just go and have some fun events My dad loved the hot dogs from the hot dogs from the vendors in the street. He, he was just that kind of guy. He— there was a festival every September, the, the Feast of the Italian Festival in Manhattan, and, and we would go there. And boy, the— some of the foods my dad— what I think my dad was a good foodie. He loved food. He loved all kinds of food. My father would eat some really freaky stuff.

Well, my father will eat anything too.

Yeah, my father loved food. He loved going out. He loved getting food. He loved music. He loved all kinds of— he would drive me bananas with the types of music that he would listen to, from all— from like Frank Sinatra to the Colombian to mariachis to whatever. And it was always— it was nonstop. My man, I can remember like, Dad, you You know, because I was growing up, it was a different time period. Um, but my dad was also the kind of guy who, like I said, he, um, he took, he took me and my cousins and, uh, I think it was myself and my cousins. We went to Atlantic City to see the Bay City Rollers and my father took us. He took all those girls. He took all those girls. Um, my dad took me to see Donna Summer in Forest Hills. And I remember it was just my dad and I, my cousin couldn't go. And my mother wouldn't allow me to go with just anybody, so she made my father go with me. And my dad took me to see Donna Summer. My parents were kind of— they, you know, they didn't have babysitters at that point, so they probably took me to some questionable things that maybe children should have not attended. But I— they loved Elvis Presley, and I got to see Elvis Presley live, which at the age that I was, I didn't understand the fascination of Elvis Presley with all these old ladies kind of like throwing their underwear up on, on the, on the stage. And but I remember seeing him. I remember seeing so many other iconic, um, I didn't have any of those experiences because you lived differently. You were— yeah, I mean, you were in the country.

I mean, I didn't, I didn't see an R-rated movie until I was late in teens.

Yeah, I don't know, I, I would probably say I wouldn't have seen an R-rated, but I do remember, um, my dad and mom would take me see some Broadway shows that weren't necessarily, yeah, kid-friendly shows. But we did all kinds of stuff. And when my dad had me on a weekend, we would go to Children's Theater in Manhattan and we would just see all kinds of things. So there it was very different in in our growing up between your dad and my dad. I mean, and towards the latter part when we moved to Florida, I was a teenager when we moved to Florida, just turned 13 when we moved to Florida. And at that point, my, my, my father had— was going through, I would say, probably a tough time because he had lost his job, uh, in New York, in the, in the factory, in the warehouse. And we went to Florida and we were trying to figure out what they were doing. So my dad and my mom— my dad did a bread route He— my— him and my mom had a paper route which every single— and I'm not joking about this— every single cousin all experienced the paper route. We all had to do it with our— with my mom and dad. We would get up at 1 o'clock in the morning to go deliver newspapers, and I could probably tell you every single one of them all experienced it. So he did a lot of things to try to, you know, he, he did— he had also a lot of jobs. My father was very, very people-friendly. He could— he was that kind of guy who could sell, you know, ice to the Eskimos. He really could, because that was his personality.

My father was people-friendly, a lot, a lot like me when it comes to— I'm, I'm not one— not outgoing to like actually embrace people, but people would always come to me to ask questions. And the same way, I think I get that from my father because I remember always being around him. People would ask him questions and ask him where to go, especially when he— when we ended up in Florida. My brother and I went down there. I went there first to work for Disney, and then my brother came and he worked for Disney. Then, then my parents moved from Natchez to Orlando And my father became the horticulturist for Winter Park, and that's probably where he spent the majority of his career doing that and working with plants. And he was out in the public all the time at that point because he was doing the flower baskets on Park Avenue and all the different plantings and stuff. So I think he was a very, very people person at that point.

Yeah, my dad was doing cable. Back when cable started and you had to go door-to-door to sell cable to people. That's what my dad did. He sold cable. He sold— they had to go around giving you cable boxes in order to get the cable TV back in the day. And he did that. He did that. He was out— like, my dad would be out at 7 o'clock in the morning, wouldn't be back till like 7 o'clock at night sometimes. But he was very much that type of person, very Very, very, very people-friendly, very people-friendly. And then towards the end, I remember when it was time for me to get my car. This was funny because I had expressed to my father the type of car that I wanted. In Florida, you got your license, your permit, when you were 15.

Permit, yeah.

You got your permit at 15, you could drive at 16.

Right.

And I remember I had gotten my license And my dad and I went car shopping and we looked for lots of cars and we found the car. And it was a 1975 MGB. It was red with a black interior. And I was like, Dad, this is so cool. My father was like, I know, this is really cool. We went home, we went home and we told my mom, we found the car. We found the car. And my mother's like, great, let's go. So we, we go to, to go look at the car. My mother looks at it and she says, oh no, we are not buying that car. And I remember I was so upset. And my father would say, but, but why? This is a great car. It's a great little car. She says, she will die in the car. Her first accident, she will be dead. There is no enough metal protection. So do you know what my first car was that I ended up getting? A Chrysler Cordova.

Well, that could be a whole nother episode. We can talk about all of our different cars that we've had.

But my mother got— my mother put her foot down, so I didn't get my MGB, which I always, uh, I wanted so badly at that time. Instead, I got this giant boat of a car. Um, but you know what, it was the freedom of driving, and My parents were very, you know, like, go ahead and do— as long as I did chores in the house, I was able to go out with friends on the weekend.

Yeah, well, speaking of chores and things, um, you know, the great thing about being a father is having your own kids, you know. So this is about fathers, this is about Father's Day. So, so, you know, what am I proud of as being a father is, are my 3 kids, you know. And, and seeing how they've grown up and hoping that I've been able to instill some of the values that my father taught me. And I hope that they take away some of the things that I taught them.

Okay, well, your oldest son is not handy. No, he has no green thumb.

But my daughter does.

But your daughter does.

She's got the green thumb. I'm not— I've got it. I've got like A partially green.

You're a light green. Yeah, you're a light green.

Um, and then, then the youngest is a mechanic. He's a car— he's a car guy.

So he is a car.

But my— but our oldest has, has 5— has 4 kids of his own. 4.

Don't add 5, please, for God's sakes.

But, but they're— but, um, and it's great to see him in the role of being a father and I think he really realizes now some of the reasons why we did certain things, because he's now a father having to deal with those same things. And, and that's when, that's when I think you're, you feel really proud, is when you see how they're teaching their kids, how you're raising them. Yeah, how they're, how they're raising their own kids.

However, you will do things differently. We didn't do the same thing that our parents did.

No, and they're not doing the same thing that we did, but there's certain things that they take for grant— they take from what we did. I mean, just around the dinner table, they— I still feel that they feel that having dinner together as a family is important. Yes, there are fundamentals, and they go around, you know, saying, um, you know, what, what, what happened that day, or what were you grateful for? I mean, I, I would ask them 3 things you know, tell me 3 things of the day. And now they go and basically just say one thing, but you know, they have a song that goes with it. Oh, that's right, there is a song. Yeah, there is a song that goes with it.

Yes, yes, yes. There's some clapping involved.

Yes, I remember that. So, but they make it fun.

They do.

You know, and I think that's important, you know.

And now you got grandchildren, so there's a different, totally different atmosphere. Sphere when you have grandchildren, because the good part about being a grandma or grandpa is you can have fun. You don't necessarily have to be like authoritative or, uh, very strict.

Sometimes you wish you could be a little more authoritative, but you know, sometimes, but most of the time it's fun. And then you get to, you get, you get to give them back, right? But you get to do things with them that um, that, that are— it's just, it's just different.

It is different. It is, it's a different thing.

And hopefully you can teach them something too as a grandfather or grandmother that, um, that they'll remember you by.

They probably— they'll— I'm sure when they get older and they start to have thoughts about us, they'll probably be me— a few things that might have resonated with them. Really well. I'm sure. So, but this being a grandparent, that's your other aspect of Father's Day, is that you have grandchildren. And it is fun to have grandchildren. It's a lot of fun. Yeah.

Well, on that note, we should probably edit this.

But boy, do we— there was a few things we should probably add, but we won't.

We should probably edit this.

But we won't.

No. So until next time, I'm Matthew.

I'm Nancy.

Have a great day.

Have a great day.

And happy Father's Day to all those fathers out there. Happy Father's Day to all the dads.

Yay!

Bye-bye.