Wrinkles, Wisdom & Why We Still Laugh About Getting Older

Hi, I'm Matthew Greger.

And I'm Nancy Greger.

We have this podcast called We Should Probably Edit This, but we won't.

Our podcast is about us, our relationship, our 37 years of being married, raising 3 children, And hopefully we can share something that would be inspiring, honest, truthful, as our tagline says, unfiltered, unscripted, and unapologetically us. There you go. We should probably edit this, but we won't.

And we're on.

Yay! Live from—

live from— we should probably edit this.

But we won't.

All right. I'm Matthew.

And I'm Nancy.

All right. So what are we talking about today?

Old age?

Getting older. What it's like. Sometimes it's like—

This is what we need.

You know, not everybody is watching this, so you got to explain what you're doing.

So we have to do the jowl lift. As we get older, the jowls come down.

That's why I've got this beard. Then you don't see it.

I don't think it will be attractive for me to have a beard.

No, probably not.

That wouldn't be what we would do.

You know, that's one of those things. One of those things.

Things start to sag.

In more ways than one, I can put it that way. And things don't function the way they once did. No, you know, especially when it comes to, to losing weight, which we've talked about before. But I think that's, that's a big struggle. Before, when you were younger, you could just change eating or just do more exercise and whoop, it would drop as a man anyways. But not these days. It doesn't want to do that.

No, it's always a little bit of a challenge. We get tired. We forget. Um, forget.

We—

I, I think just overall, you know, but in the same token, I also don't think you worry as much about certain things, and your kids are out of the house, so you don't have that drama happening all the time. Which I think can really weigh on you a great deal.

I mean, that's for sure.

That's why you lost, you know, the head, the hair.

That's part of my own problem with just having my own stress, but that was just— that's something that I've had to deal with throughout life. But, but, um, yeah, you, you may have your kids maybe gone, but if your parents are around, that gives a little bit different perspective of—

it's like a full cycle moment. Yeah, just when you think you've got something else going on. If you're fortunate enough to have your parents, you're dealing with that. And I think that's where we're at. We're dealing with parents, we're dealing with— I mean, you're both— your mom and dad are alive. My mom is alive. My dad died many years ago. So it's, you know, it's just making sure that your parent or parents, or parents are—

well, they're, they're still able to maintain what they need to maintain.

Yeah.

And that they aren't too forgetful, you know, and, and they can still do the basic things from driving to grocery shopping, cooking, those kind of things. Basic necessities. And that they're still enjoying themselves. Themselves, and it's not a burden.

Enjoyment is not a topic. Oh, well, not for— not for our parents.

Okay, well, let me put it this way. When I say enjoying themselves, I mean they're still capable of doing the things like maybe mowing the lawn or doing something like that.

Well, that's not enjoyment. That's taking care of your basic core necessities. And either two things happen: either you can do it on your own or you're going to have to hire somebody else to do it for you. And then you really have to sit back and decide, is that really good? In certain cases, I think it is, because if it means you get out of the house and you have something to do that day, which is, you know, mow the lawn, that's great. You're out of the house and that keeps your mind, I think, busy.

Well, I mean, you know, we can talk about that ourselves too. I think you have to as you're getting older and you need to really make sure that you've got a good friend group. I think that's with any age, but especially as you get older, you need to get out there and socialize and be out there. If we, when we retire, you know, you have the work, you have the work that you go to now. So that's your kind of your social environment that you're in is your work. But if you're not working, then you've got to figure something else out that's going to keep you engaged with others. You have to figure something out.

And I think that's fundamentally the problem that we have with both of our parents is that I don't see that. But I also think that it's very generational. Our generation, you know, my mother's generation wasn't about friends. It was about family and maybe having certain family members around, but it wasn't necessarily about friends. Like, well, I don't think my parents ever had friends.

Well, they— maybe they weren't the friendly type that was out socializing.

They don't— they socialize within their family unit. That was it. Socialization was—

what about us? I mean, what do we want as we, as we enter these different stage in our life as we are getting older, since that's what we're talking about. Are friends important to us?

Yeah, friends are important. And I think making friends, you know, you catch up, you may— you would hope that you have things in common that you can discuss and talk about. You go maybe go on vacation with them every once in a while.

Well, I think friends are important because It's the connection. It's the community that you have. It's— we're— humans are designed to be connected and social, to be social.

Yeah.

Am I boring you? Yawning?

Yawning doesn't mean—

does that mean you're getting older? Because you're more tired?

I'm ready for my nap. No, you don't take naps.

Okay, maybe I just didn't know that. I feel like taking a nap. I bet you if, if, if the couch was in my office instead of the drafting table, then I might have more of an opportunity to take a nap.

You, and you used to when it was in there, but not all the time.

I mean, you know, no one's supposed to know that.

Here's the thing, you have to recognize things in yourself that you need to maintain and you need to do. So if that means you have to take a nap, you take a nap. If it means—

I wish that was more accepted. I mean, I can't roll out the mat on my floor and take a nap at work. I don't think that would go over very well, although I'd like to.

But those are the moments when you'd have to get up and walk away.

Yeah, I go to the roof.

I'm good about getting up and walking, even if I'm going around in a circle.

I'm just— well, I'll go in, I'll walk in, I'll say hi to everybody, what they're, what they're doing.

A lot different, a lot different than when we were younger and we were working. When we were younger and working, number one, we lived in the city. That has a totally different—

that was a small time of our life.

Yeah, but still, we were working, we were, we were out there. You were constantly on the move. There was no like downtime, if you will.

Well, we didn't create that. We didn't know that we really needed a take those breaks every hour. So, um, to—

I don't think we had the workload allowed us to take any type of—

well, no, but it, regardless of the workflow or not, you should still take a break every few minutes. You should get up, walk around, stretch, whatever. I mean, right now I go up to the roof, um, when it's nice weather. There you go, you're yawning again. And maybe, maybe I should have waited for this episode till you had your back on the roof. I would go on the roof, I'll stretch, I'll get out there, I'll maybe I'll do a video or something while I'm up there, and then I'll come back down and, and go back to the—

well, I think you learned that as we got older though. I think when you're originally out there and you're hustling—

yeah, but we should have learned it earlier in life.

Why? Nobody else is doing it. Why would you do it then?

And at this stage, I'm just saying, we should—

you know, the, the good part about as you get older is that certain things that you would do because you felt you had to do them, as you get older, you're like, I don't need to do that. Who cares? Who cares?

What difference does it make, right?

What difference does it make? You know, it's not like you've lived long, you've done a lot of things, life has hit you with many different obstacles along the way. You've learned to manage that, navigate that, ride that, figure out the next, you know, next course.

Things, they don't bother you as well.

I won't say bother you, you're not as, um, I'm not as affected by it as—

yeah, you're not as influenced by other people's opinions anymore.

No.

You know, or they don't matter as much. You know, you've learned to— who cares? So what, what they think about you?

And if I don't want to cook one night, I'm not And if I don't want to cook for 2 or 3 nights, I'm not.

Okay. So what about getting older? What's, um, the thing that's bugging you the most about getting older besides wanting to tuck the chin?

Bothering me?

Yeah. I mean, is it, do you have aches or pains? Do you have, um, things that you don't do?

I do have an occasional hip pain. Um, but other than that, I don't, I don't really think I have anything that really bothers.

Well, is there, is there anything that you're not happy about as you're getting older?

Besides needing a facelift.

But that facelift is your opinion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's all that counts. You seem to think that you matter. You don't. Not when it comes to that kind of stuff. I don't, I don't really feel that there is anything. I feel the only thing that I think I'm more conscious of now than I should have been more conscious of when I was younger was saving money and putting money aside.

Okay.

That was, that's probably the one area that now I have a very short window that trying to build the wealth. Yeah, trying to really build up that wealth so that it's somewhat easier, because I do find that probably the bigger thing that our parents are facing is the lack of funds, is the lack.

So they don't know, they don't have the freedom to be able to—

they're not prepared.

They need to do—

they're not prepared for longevity. They're not prepared to live to your 80 or 90 years old. That's not what they're prepared for. And they're not— they didn't save appropriately. They didn't put money aside appropriately. And now they're trying to stay in a home. And a home can be very, very expensive to stay in. I mean, you are constantly, you know, fixing things, maintaining things, managing things. And if you don't have the resources to help you do that, that could put a financial strain because as far as I know, Social Security doesn't really cover very much. And I think that's the part one thing that I would say to you. If I had known a little bit more, I would have done a little bit more.

We're still young enough that we can maybe make some of those adjustments. And that's looking towards the future. That's, that's what we're trying to do.

There's two things. We're not young enough. We're old enough to know. What we need to do and how we're going to do it. It's a very big difference here because we're not young in comparison to our parents. Yes, we're younger, but we're not young. I mean, in—

Speak for yourself.

In society's days, we're gonna have to make a decision in a few more years as to what kind of Medicaid policy we want, and that's not something that comes to you because, um, you hit a certain age in your life, and that's— those are the things you're going to be dealing with, right? So, but the good part of it all is, is that we're wise enough to know what it is we need to do.

Okay, so, so you're— so yours is that you wish you had dealt with finances better?

I think I— I— yes, I wish I felt with the finances better. I wish that at this point in my time, at this point in my life, if I wanted to retire at 65, I could.

But you can't.

But I can't.

So we have to work. So, I mean, for me, it would be two things. I would have two things. Um, first thing is, is that I would have taken care of myself a little bit more. I would have, um, eat, learned to eat better earlier in life. Um, and then I would have made exercise a daily habit. Which—

are you still— you still—

you getting sleepy on me again?

Why don't you focus on you and stop looking at me?

I'm not looking at you.

How about if you do that?

Okay. Ooh. All right. So anyways, I would focus on taking care of myself better. And then the second thing is, is that I would have focused on myself from a personal growth standpoint. and I would have learned, I would have read different books, and I would have worked on myself to be better. And, and I think maybe that would have leaned or leaned into the financial side a little bit more. But, um, I mean, that's one thing definitely I didn't know how to do the right way. So, well, but I can't look back now, and that's the other thing.

I, I, I don't like to say coulda, woulda, shoulda.

No, but we can give it, we can give advice to others that are listening if they're younger.

If you're younger, get your act together and read David Bach's book about saving money and learn how to save money and learn how to do little increments of savings now while you can, because even if you're making, you know, minimum wage or whatever the case might be, learn now to put money and join Growth Day and work on yourself, you know, on personal growth.

And then learn how to eat right, eat clean, and, um, and exercise daily, whatever that exercise is for you, whether it's going out and riding a bike, taking a walk, going to a gym. Find something that keeps you active and that you enjoy doing.

You enjoy doing.

That was it for me. It's tennis and outside sports and activity. I hate the gym, honestly. I hate going to the gym, working out, but I know it's something I have to do.

So I'm definitely not a workout person, and probably you like to dance. That's it. I, I would, I would take a dance class any day, but if even when I was younger, um, I, um, I wouldn't have exercised.

Is there anything that you're looking forward to as you get older?

I'm looking forward to not having the responsibilities of a job.

Okay.

Working for somebody else. I might still be working, but I might be working on something that I like to do. Right. I might be volunteering more of my time type of deal. Whereas So that's what I'm looking forward to.

So it's not sitting on the couch watching, eating bonbons and watching TV.

No, but I—

it's more about—

we don't do that now.

So no, but I mean, we used to, we used to do that.

We used to sit and put the TV on and listen to it while we were eating dinner or something like that. But we've—

now it just says we should probably edit this, but we won't.

We, we, we just, we, we've changed a few things. We have changed our lifestyle and that's That's the big thing. It's changing of your lifestyle. It's— it would have been, you know, you talked about eating better. To me, that's a lifestyle change.

Correct. Well, those two things to me would have been lifestyle changes that I wish I had made early on. You know, I would be in a different position now if I had made those changes.

If we had made it, but, you know, years ago.

So I made— but I made them in time. To embrace it now. It's more of a struggle as you get older to work on your body than it was, than it would have been, you know, 20 years ago. You know, it's, it's, I wouldn't say personal growth is more of a struggle. I think it's easier because we don't have the kids to work on ourselves that we're, we've got more time to do that and we have more time to develop whatever that next thing is for for us that's not our job, you know, that we can do, whether it's this podcast and leading it into something, you know, moving forward.

But that's what I'm looking forward to. I'm looking forward to that time where I don't have to worry about— and I think to some extent you look at the job because it's offering you some sense of stability, which you still need. And it's also one of those situations where we need that medical coverage because we're not spring chickens and things do happen. So you need to be more prepared now than maybe when I was 20 or—

Well, I mean, should medical coverage be the reason why you're stuck in a job?

Uh, it is now. It is for now.

Okay.

Okay. It is for now, because health insurance in the United States of America isn't cheap. And if you need it, it's going to cost you a tremendous amount of money. And so if you're not able to take the benefit of whatever Medicaid or Medicare, whatever those things are, I haven't figured it out yet.

Well, that requires a certain age.

Correct.

But I mean, I mean, correct. And up until that age, A lot of people are in jobs for benefits, correct? You know, so when you're, when you're self-employed, you've got to pay for those benefits, correct?

So, and that's not a situation that at this stage we're prepared to do. We need the benefits at this point. Um, so who knows, maybe when we hit that magical number and we have to make a decision as to because my understanding is, is that you could still be working, but you still have to make a decision with the government as to which care, which service you want, which program or—

Well, I mean, that requires more research before we can really—

A lot more research. A lot more research about it. But I'm just talking in general. You don't have to get your panties in a wad. I'm not giving people advice. I'm telling you what I know.

Okay. I knew going into this one it was going to be this.

No, it's not going to be this, but there's no reason for you to point out like, well, you don't know everything. I didn't say I knew everything. I said—

Okay, okay.

Listen to the words and stop making up words inside my mind.

I'm not making them up. So see, even we have those moments. And today I feel it's one of those days that has those moments. With it. Well, I don't know why, but it just is. Maybe it's something in the air. I don't know. Okay, it's just me. It's me then. Okay, I'll admit it. It's me.

It's only you.

Always me, right? Yeah, that's it.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's the philosophy of the day. But in any case, I mean, that's what I'm looking— what are you looking forward to?

What am I looking forward to as I get older? I mean, I continue to look forward to doing those things that make me happy, whether that's playing tennis, going fishing, whether that's coaching someone, volunteering. I mean, we're looking at the church now to see if there's opportunities there to be more involved in what we can do there. It's doing things that are more fulfilling, I guess you could say, is what I'm looking forward to. I'm also looking forward to taking more trips, doing things. I think the last trip that we took to Arizona really just was an eye-opening experience for me on just what's out there and just in our own backyard, meaning the United States. You know, we saw the Grand Canyon, we saw, um, you know, different, different parts of the state, and there was different climates that we went through, you know, in a short period of time. So, so I'm looking forward to seeing other parts of this country and then being able to travel outside of the United States too. So that's— so I would say, um, travel. Yeah, travel. Um, and, and of course I want to be in the, in the, um, tiny house minivan thing as we travel.

But yeah, I don't know who you're going to be in the tiny house minivan thing with. Um, that does not sound like me. Um, no, I don't mind traveling, and we can travel and stay in a little tiny house if you want.

Where we got the off-the-grid house that we stayed at.

No, we're not staying in that. Staying at the off-the-grid house. Off the grid, that was a one-time moment deal. I don't think I'd— no, I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon. All right, your sense of, of travel?

A little better. It's a little better. It's a little better than camping.

And how many times have we ever— have we ever did that, Matthew Greger?

Zero. Zero.

So that should kind of tell you that this person, your wife, does not do that kind of stuff.

Okay.

Is not intrigued by that kind of stuff.

So there's no camping and hiking the Grand Canyon from below in a tent?

No.

Checking—

Hiking, yes, but that's going down and coming up. That's a day trip. That's a day trip. That's not, oh, let's stay in the crevice of the canyon.

No, no, no, no hiking the Appalachian Trail then for you. No, no, I don't really have that desire either.

I don't, I don't.

But I do want to be, I do want to be, as we get older too, I do want to be more active, active and going on traveling, but at the same time traveling with an intention of a hike or a bike ride. Or doing something like that.

So how about we're just going to be walking all over Rome, walking all over Italy, fucking walking, walking. Maybe we can each get our own little scooters and scoot around a couple of places.

Not, not old people's scooters.

You're talking about like a Vespa. Okay. All right. I just want to clarify that, that I'm not going to be in one of those, one of those old people scooters or like, like my mom when I said to her, no, you're going to have to get a wheelchair and take you from the gate. From the— from where you drop your luggage off to the gate.

That'll be the day that I stop traveling. When I— if I have to go in, if I have to be wheeled to the seat of the airplane, I'm not going anywhere anymore. If I can't make it where I can't walk it myself.

Well, you can't walk yourself to, to it?

Yes.

Okay, I understand, I understand. I will say that that was pretty amazing. Every time we would fly, how many people are actually doing that?

People would That just goes back to staying active. And I think as we get older, I think that's something that's very apparent to me that we need to make sure that we keep these bodies of ours moving and fluid.

Yeah, but you know what? You don't know what their situation is. I understand the fact that they got on a plane and flew to a destination like where we were going, which was a long destination. For me, that kind of says a lot because I also know that sometimes, and we know this, that when our parents have gotten older, they don't want to travel. They don't want it. They like to go up the road to the grocery store.

There's some days I don't want to travel. I mean, traveling, especially on an airplane these days, is not really very fun. Number one, because they're so packed. The schedules are so different and tight that it's just—

Yeah, but we've learned how to overcome that. We've learned.

We've gotten better as we've done more.

We've learned that if we're gonna be on a long flight, if we cannot go first class, then we're buying the whole row. We are not gonna have strangers sitting on top of us. We're gonna be able to stretch out, and if it means I have to buy an extra seat or two extra seats in the row.

Well, we're fortunate that we can do that if we need to.

And that is true.

Not everybody can be, but.

True.

But that also has to go back to the financial planning, you know, that we should be doing.

So, correct.

So you can do those things.

So you can do those things.

But, um, but yeah, but yeah, so I mean, I'm looking forward to the future, um, whatever that future holds for us.

I'm looking forward to the future to do some more traveling, uh, to see my grandchildren get older, to be able to participate in their life events and be still be around and functioning well that I can attend all of their events and to be able to go on trips with them, to be able to go trips with them and take them on trips, you know, to like—

I'm not going in the bouncy house, so just to let you know, not the bouncy house or those, those rides, those other— yeah, yeah, no, no roller coasters for this guy here. I used to, I used to, but that was, that was a few years ago that I think of the Superman ride. I think something just really threw me out of whack. You're one of those—

that was when you went with your boys.

Yeah, I know. I think it was to, um, I don't think the grandchildren— I think it was— no, no, no, it was to Six Flags. It was with them.

Yeah.

And we were on there and it was very, very uncomfortable. And they took, they took a turn they shouldn't have taken, or, or I wasn't prepared for the turn. I don't know, something, something happened.

All I know is I knew— do know you came off the ride and you looked a little whiter than usual, and I was just like, oh, that must have not—

I mean, I would consider going back on another one. I would consider going back on another one. Whether or not I'll go on it, it's a different story.

No, no. For that part of it, either you're old enough to go on your own and I'll see you when you get out, when you get off, or you have to have your parent with you to go on with you if that was the case.

For me?

No, for our grandchildren.

Oh, oh, oh.

They would have to have a parent or an aunt or an uncle.

Okay, you mean not a grandparent.

Not a grandparent.

Not G-ma or G-pa is not going on the roller coaster with you?

No, no, gee, might just not going on a roller coaster.

It depends on which one it was.

No, I don't have to do that. I don't have to do that. But I think that's what I look forward to.

You're not thrill seeking?

No. Have I ever been a thrill seeker? No.

No. No.

That's not my thing. But I look forward to that. Neither one of us is really. Seeing them get older, watching them get older.

And then I'm in no hurry for that.

No, but by virtue of them being older, then you see your own kids older.

I know that when you see you even—

I know that when, when I said the word out loud at one point when Benjamin turned, our first one turned 30, I was overwhelmed by that. I was like, what? You're, you're what? No, you can't be 30.

Next year they will all be 30-year-olds.

They're all in their 30s next year. Yes. But I was, I was, that means we're in our 60s. I was stepped back by that. There were two moments in my life that made me, made me like more aware of my age than I ever had been. First time was when I had, I had gone for my normal yearly visit with my girl doctor, my gynecologist. And she said, "Congratulations, it's over." And I looked at her and I said, "What's over? What's over?" She says, "That's it. You're done, Nancy. There's no more menstrual cycle periods." And I looked at her and I was like, I did not feel that was a moment to celebrate. I was very, I was very distraught. I was really, really distraught when she said that. And the second time was when—

I have no comment to that.

You should have a comment with that.

I know, but I'm just saying I have nothing to say.

But then the second time was when I realized my son was 30 years old. That for me was kind of like—

So turning 60 didn't have an effect on you?

No, because I think by that point, It was like inevitable. It was coming. I think my mom—

Rosso was—

felt— my mom felt— my mom felt a little different. I think my mom felt like, wow, my daughter's 60. Yeah, I think my mom felt a little bit of the—

ooh. Yeah, I think I would feel the same way when our kids turned 60. Yes, yes, I will also feel that same way.

Let's see if we're still doing the show at that point. Well, definitely we would be wearing glasses the whole time.

Well, that's one thing that for sure has changed.

Oh wow, it's so bad. I'm like, what does that say? I went to work, uh, this past week and I was in a rush. I had a very early meeting. I got everything, threw everything in the bag. I get to work, I'm pulling everything out and I'm like I don't have my glasses. And everybody in the office was like, just go online. I'm like, okay, but there better not be any presentation slides because I will not be able to see nothing.

That's definitely something that's gotten worse with age.

That has gotten worse.

For you particularly.

I'm like, ooh, what does that say? So yeah, teeny tiny print is not my friend.

You gotta keep extra glasses around.

Yes, I have two of them in here. I have one upstairs, one I take with me on the road.

But you don't keep them in the car.

I need to. I am. I knew I was just gonna have to go get an extra pair and just throw them in the car. But that was a tough one. I literally, after the meeting, got back and went back home to go get my glasses to go back to work.

Well, on that note, we should probably edit this.

But we won't.

So until next time, I'm Matthew Greger.

And I'm Nancy Greger.

See you later.

Bye. Bye.