How to Excel at Communication

Welcome to the video. This is Mayur Bardolia, a success coach, author, and facilitator from North Star Angel Coaching. I feel blessed and fortunate to share tools, ideas, and insights that can positively impact your life. Have you ever felt like conversations slip through your hands, like trying to hold water in a loose fist? You say the right words, yet something feels missing. People listen but don't really connect. You know that feeling when you walk into a room full of people and suddenly your brain goes completely blank. You want to connect, you want to say something meaningful, but you just freeze. Or maybe you have the opposite problem. You talk, you explain, you try really hard, and somehow people still don't seem interested. I've been there. Most of us have. The problem is not your words. The problem is where your attention goes. Most people think communication is about being a great speaker, or just be good at speaking. We buy courses on it, read books, watch videos, and practice our words in front of mirrors. And yet the conversations still feel flat. The connections still feel forced. In this video, I want to show you a few simple shifts that will completely change how people experience you, how you experience conversations, and honestly, how much easier your life gets when you finally crack this code. I will show you a simple shift that I have been sharing with my students in my workshops and coaching sessions for more than 15 years. A shift that quietly changes how people respond to you. So let's start with a simple idea. The one thing nobody tells you about communication. Communication is not about talking better. It is about caring better. Love, care, respect, and kindness replace every book and every workshop on communication. I know that sounds almost too simple. Think of it like a garden. You can read every manual about gardening. You can buy the best tools, the best soil, the best seeds. But if you never actually water the plants, nothing grows. Love, or a genuine interest in people, is the water. Without it, everything else is just decoration. When you are genuinely interested in someone else, something interesting happens. You automatically become interesting to them. You don't have to try hard. You don't have to be witty or clever. You just have to care. It's smarter to give interest than to demand it. Think of it, think of it like investing. The people who expect a return before they put anything in almost never get one. You cannot get what you don't invest in. We will discuss a few concepts that will change the way you communicate forever. Number 1 is interest versus ego. Think of a conversation like a small fire. If you keep adding your own wood, your fuel, your stories, your opinions, the fire becomes smoky. But when you add curiosity about the other person, the fire becomes warm and steady. So instead of asking, how do I sound? Shift to what matters to this person? What are key lessons? Give interest. Don't demand it. When you focus on me, me, and me, people lose interest. You look stupid. Focus on them, not your image. Stay present, not impressive. Don't try to focus on impressing others. How you feel when someone tries to impress you? Think of a time, think of a person who really is trying to impress you. What do you think about that person? When you show interest to people, When you do this, something subtle happens. You stop performing and you start connecting. Next is eye contact and presence. Now imagine you are tuning a radio. If the signal is weak, you hear noise. But if the signal is clear, You hear music. And here are a few things that work really well. First, maintain an eye contact. Not the intense and unblinking kind that makes people check if you're okay, but just a warm, kind, steady, and present kind of attention. Think of it as keeping a heart-to-heart connection with the person in front of you. And this one thing, if you do consistently, solves more communication problems than most people realize. Second, expand your attention beyond just a person to the world. If someone loves cycling, Learn a little bit about cycling. If someone is obsessed with vintage watches or vintage goods, know enough to ask a real question. When you can talk about someone's world even a little, you create what I call a flow state, a natural ease. The conversation starts to move on its own. Here's a practical tip for you. When you save a contact in your phone or address book, jot down one or two things you know they care about. Then the next time you see them, bring it up in your conversation. It sounds simple, but it works incredibly well. Eye contact and presence— that is your signal. Look at that person. Listen fully with undivided attention. Let me repeat. Listen fully with undivided attention. Stay in the moment. This creates what I call heart-to-heart communication, and most communication problems quietly disappear. Next is talk to the world, not yours. Let's take this further. People open up when you enter their world. If someone loves sports, speak their language. If someone loves business, talk about business. It is like visiting someone's home. You don't rearrange their furniture. You respect their space. You respect their choices. If you meet clients often, Note down their interest. Bring those topics into conversation, not so consciously or too deliberately, but with ease. Ask questions. Show curiosity to know more about that. That builds flow. The next point is shyness and self-focus. A lot of people think shyness is about being introverted. Or being quiet by nature. But here is a different way to look at it. Shyness in social situations often comes from paying too much attention to yourself, specifically to how you look, how you sound, well, whether you are making a good impression. You try to get the validation from others. You overthink every step and then trip on absolutely nothing. The moment you stop trying to make a good impression, you usually make a much better one. Try this deliberately. Don't try to impress. Walk into a situation and tell yourself, I don't need to impress anyone here. And watch how much more natural and calm you feel. And watch how people respond to that calm. If you look greedy, if you look needy, people can actually feel that. It subcommunicates through your body language and your tone. Also, shyness is not a lack of confidence. There's too much focus on yourself. So practice this. Stop trying to impress and start trying to understand. You will feel calmer, and oddly, people will like you more. Next is be genuinely interested in others. At first, we treat people as special, but later on, we treat them as normal. And connection fades away. We usually find things exciting when they're new. A new iPhone or a new phone, a new friend, a new job, a new work, a new project. But after a while, we stop noticing. We take things for granted. The phone becomes ordinary. The friend becomes familiar. The job, the task, the project becomes routine and sometimes boring. Now imagine if you could look at a person you have known for years and still see something fresh in them, like a book you have read before, but you open it and notice a line you somehow missed every single time. The people who can do this who can look at a familiar person or thing with fresh eyes, these people have communication that flows effortlessly. They treat every interaction like it means something, it means special, and people feel that. Remember, most of the communication is not done by words. It's mostly done by body language or Or tonality. And people really respond to that. Let go of the old story you have told yourself about who someone is. Look at them as they are right now, today. That small shift changes everything. Treat them as fresh. Drop old judgments. See them as they are today. And your communication becomes alive again. The next is energy. Before we go further, I want to be honest about something. All of this, the interest, the attention, the freshness, it all requires energy. And if your energy is low, none of this technique will work. None. You cannot pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes. You have to be energetic in order to make people energetic. You have to be enthusiastic in order to make people enthusiastic. So here's a not so cool but real advice to you. Rest, retreat, and recharge. Make time for your own silence. Your own space, not because you are antisocial or not so social, but because you're filling back up so you can genuinely give when you go back out. You cannot show up for others if you haven't shown up for yourself first. But all this needs energy. All conversation is an exchange of energy. Nobody feels good to be around someone who is low in energy. Increase your energy and everything else becomes effortless in your communication. If your phone battery is at 1%, it cannot run apps properly. Same with you, right? Recharge yourself. So take quiet time, rest your mind, recharge yourself, then go out and connect. Your energy will set the tone, experience, and outcome of your communication. Next is communication in selling. Now, if you're in business or selling anything, this applies whether you sell products, services, or ideas. Whether you're pitching a client or convincing your team of a new direction, your communication also has to demonstrate value. Not just claim value, but demonstrate it. Show people how it works. Give them reasons. Be specific. And here's the part most people miss. Understand the other person's position first. What do they actually care about? What problem are they trying to solve? When you combine a genuine interest in the person with a clear demonstration of value, the flow between you and other person becomes almost effortless. And be enthusiastic about your idea. If you are not enthusiastic about your idea, product, or service, how can someone be enthusiastic about buying it? According to Brian Tracy, a famous author, 50% or more of all sales ability is a transfer of enthusiasm, meaning selling is primarily about transferring your belief. Your passion and energy for a product to the customer. This emotional transfer, not just product knowledge, it drives buying decisions as people buy emotionally and justify with logic. So demonstrate value, give reasons, stay genuine, authentic, be enthusiastic, and that builds Trust. Next, courage in communication is the big one. Many problems don't come from wrong words; they come from no words. Communication needs courage. Good communication includes saying the things most people are too afraid to say. I recently coached someone who had been let go from every job he had ever had. When we went into detail about what was really happening, we found the same pattern every time. He would see problems, things that were going wrong, but he did not say anything. He stayed quiet. And so the problems got worse. And eventually he was held responsible for problems, yet he would actually notice first. The courage to speak up, to communicate a problem before it becomes crisis. That is not just a communication skill; it is a prosperity skill. Think about it: more than 65 percentage of people who ask for a raise actually get one. Most people never ask, and if you never ask. You cannot receive. You probably heard in childhood, no hands, no chocolate. If you don't ask, you will not get. Ask for something is is something that you should do. Asking for something is the greatest skill you can ever possess. Whatever you have in your life. Or will have in your life, it'll all come through communication. Courage and communication, they travel together. They go hand in hand. Say what needs to be said. Speak clearly, not late. Even in simple things like asking for what you want. If you don't ask, the answer will always be no. Most people who ask, they receive it. If you don't ask, nothing moves. Next, face-to-face still wins. This one might feel old-fashioned, but it's still true. Face-to-face communication has been happening for hundreds of years. Nothing beats a face-to-face conversation. Always believe in live in-person workshops and coaching sessions. The energy is at a different level compared to online video or audio conversation. Also, in a world where everyone is hiding behind the screen, showing up in person is remarkable. You look unique. You look different. It's a bit like getting a handwritten letter in a world. Of text messages, your handwritten message will stand out. It carries weight. If you want to improve how you communicate, work on the expressiveness of your voice, your eyes, and your face. Warm up before important conversations. Talk out loud in the car or in front of a mirror. Sounds funny, but it genuinely helps. Whenever possible, meet people in person. I prefer to meet someone in person most of the time if it's possible. And finally, a 100-day experiment. Here's a small practical challenge: speak to one stranger a day for 100 days. Just one stranger. A quick, friendly exchange. That's it. And that sounds tiny, but over time it builds something. It chips away at the awkwardness. It trains you to be comfortable starting connections with people you don't already know. And connections, it turns out, it's always good for your health. People who connect regularly tend to be healthier and happier than people who don't. People are not as hard to reach as we think. Most people are easy to connect when you show up with genuine fascination in who they are. Go out and really meet someone. Start talking. Do it for 100 days, or at least for 21 days. So let's summarize what we have covered so far. If you look at everything we discussed, it all comes back to one thing. Where is your attention? If your attention stays on yourself, communication becomes tight. If your attention moves to others, communication becomes smooth. Genuine interest in others is the foundation of all great communication. Give it freely. Match the person's words. Practice showing up without the need to impress. Keep your energy full by resting and recharging. Take care of yourself. And speak up when something needs to be said. 10. Show up in person when you can. And practice connection daily. Your next action steps are simple. This week, pick one person you already know and have a conversation where your only goal is to understand something new about their world. Don't talk about yourself only, just to learn about them and see what happens. If you show interest in others, They will see you as an interesting person. Then just once, say something you've been holding back. Something kind, something honest, something that needed to be said. Notice how that feels. And if you're up for a bigger challenge, try the 100-day stranger experiment. Start today. In short, Give a genuine interest, stay present, and enter their world. Speak with courage and take care of your energy. Communication is not a technique. Communication is not a talent. It's a practice. It's a way of being. And you just took the first step by watching this video. And when you care, More, when you give love to others more, when you show kindness to others, you don't need many tricks. And when in doubt, just connect. If you're not sure how to do it or get stuck, reach out to me. I can help you every step of the way and teach you new tools that work for you. Maybe you have something you want to work on. Maybe it's about your health, job, relationships, money, or belief. I can help with these things in personal one-on-one sessions. To book a session with me, go to northstarangel.com/coaching. We can meet online, by email, or in person. If you find this video helpful, please share it with someone who needs it. Please share it far and wide. I would also love to hear your feedback and experience. They are important to me. My name is Mayur Bardolia. A success coach from North Star Angel Coaching. If you want to book a session, organize a workshop, or invite me to speak, email me at contact@northstarangel.com. Thank you for being here. I'm wishing you the best. I hope good things come your way. Have a nice day.