031 Adversity and Abundance with Amberly Lago

Hey there, real quick before we jump into the episode, listen, if your earnings treadmill hasn't set you free yet, running faster won't either. Listen, hustle without principles just going to burn you out. So here's what I want for you. I want you to join me for my money machine experience live. It is three free trainings. Deep dive into how to escape the treadmill and build a money machine that actually works for you. All right, grab your spot here by going to moneymachinelive.com and I'll see you in the free training. Hey there. Welcome to this episode of the affluent entrepreneur show. In this episode, I've got a special guest. I've got someone that I just know is going to touch your heart, touch your soul. Amberly Lago. She is. She's joining us today. This. Her story is incredible. It's a journey of resilience. It's a journey of heart. This was a woman who had everything going for her. She used a celebrity fitness trainer, consultants, business. She had all these things going. And one day, one day, coming home from a workout, she was on her motorcycle and she got hit by an SUV. Completely turned her life upside. She had a 1% chance of.

Saving her leg and in some senses, even just surviving this. And we're going to talk in this episode. We're going to talk about her journey. We're going to talk about the finances. We're going to talk about life. We're going to talk about how her husband was involved. I mean, some of the conversations we got into are just amazing. You will see such a warm, amazing soul. If you're dealing with adversity, if you're dealing with concern about what's gone on in your life, where you are today, you gotta listen to this episode because she's gonna show you the way. All right, Check it out. Cheers.

This is the affluent entrepreneur show for entrepreneurs that want to operate at at a high level and achieve financial liberation. I'm your host, Mel Abraham, and I'll be sharing with you what it takes to create success beyond wealth so you can have a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle. In this show, you'll learn how business and money intersect so you can scale your business, scale your money and scale your life while creating a deeper impact and living with complete freedom, because that's what it really means to be an athlete entrepreneur.

Hey, there. If you're here, I already know that you're one of the people that really want to get this money thing situated. You want to understand what it is to try and change your financial destiny and build financial independence in your life. You want to be an affluent entrepreneur. I get it. So here's the deal. I wanted to go deeper with some of my, my audience and my community and, and spend a little more time with you. So I have a free three part live training event that I am doing starting October 20th. I want you to mark that on the calendar. October 28th. We're going to do three different sessions, about 90 minutes each. We're going to go through a number of different things. I'm going to set you on a different trajectory, financially, wealth wise, business wise and life wise. And so to save your spot or to be on the VIP list to make sure you're there, go to affluence live.com affluencelive and make sure you grab the spot. We're going to have limited spots, but I want to help you. The first session really going to focus on this idea of what is the affluence journey? What does it take? What are the four stages of the affluence journey and what are the barriers, the things that are getting in the way of building the wealth at the level that we want to have the freedom that we want so we can break those barriers down. In the second session, we're going to talk about the core affluent entrepreneur principles and drivers that drive wealth and start to give you the breakdown of the pillars, the three pillars that all affluent entrepreneurs need to have in place to make it happen. And then we're going to bring it home in our third session. In the third session, I'm going to talk about the nine accelerators to being an affluent entrepreneur to live a richer lifestyle, to have a deeper impact and to have complete freedom. So October 28th is the date. Go to affluencelive.com grab your spot, set yourself up on the VIP list. I'll see you there. Let's change your financial destiny together. Oh, my gosh. So welcome. Welcome on Amberly. This is so great to have you here and I'm looking forward to our conversation together.

Oh, I'm so grateful to be here with you. I love talking to you in the time that we've had to talk before. So I'm excited about your show. I've listened to your podcast and I really feel honored to get to be a guest here. So thank you for having me.

We had the blessing of being able to share the stage together in a couple months. So we're going to be together, sharing the stage and speaking. And I thought, man, because first you've got an amazing story that I think will not only touch hearts, but move minds and move souls with especially what's going on today. And yet you have this down to earth nature about you.

Can I say gal, family, galaxy.

And raised a daughter as a single mom for a while and all that. So we have a lot in common. And so for me to get a chance to just share some time with you is great. Now my thinking is that since some of my audience may not know who you are, let's just touch on how you got to where you are and who you are, where you came from, because you were doing some amazing stuff and then the. The world got turned upside down on you.

Yeah. You know, I think a lot of what people have dealt with in the past year and a half, I really dealt with about 11 years ago. I mean, I've been. I live in California, although I'm originally from Texas, and I never kind of lost my accent. But I came out here to be a professional dancer and had a successful career in dance. And then I got in the fitness industry. And so my whole life was around fitness and being active. And I was sponsored by Nike. I was nationally recognized as a coach. And then coming home from work one day, everything changed when I was hit by a truck. I was on my motorcycle. When I woke up out of a coma, I learned I had a 1% chance of saving my leg from amputation. And I really still, at that moment, I did not realize how serious it was. I did not realize that it was really going to change my life. All I focused on was that 1% chance. And when they said, you know, we're going to have to amputate, this is like a war wound. There is nothing we can do for you. And I said, well, wait a minute. You just said, there's a 1% chance, so there's still a chance. And my husband got on. He googled limb salvage and found a doctor that was a trauma specialist, and he was at a different hospital. And it took a lot of pulling strings and a lot of connections and relationships and got transferred to that hospital. And it took months in the hospital. It took 34 surgeries, but they were able to piece my leg back together. And it's really been a journey of recovery. And your show is a lot about, you know, financial abundance and how to be successful. And we lost everything. I mean, I was the main breadwinner of the family. We learned a lot of lessons. We had $2.9 million worth of medical bills. We went to being, you know, Doing pretty well and having a savings and living pretty comfortably to all of a sudden, we had a lien on our house. We thankfully had a friend that we could borrow some money, and we paid back interest and all. But it was really. We learned a lot of lessons. And I went down a really dark path of depression. And I have to say, Mel, you know, a lot of times people think, oh, that must have been the hardest time of your life when you were going through surgery after surgery. And that was really hard. But the hard part was when I got home from the hospital and I was like, what do I do now? And I remember laying in the hospital bed at home, and a friend came over and I had my hospital bed in the living room downstairs. And she looked at me and she said, well, what are you going to do now? I mean, you can't train clients anymore. And I just burst into tears. And I thought I sat in my pity party for a little bit, and that's okay. We all have those feelings. I've been there there. We just can't get stuck there, you know? And so I had to think of, well, what can I do? And so just, like, I focused on the 1% chance. It's, oh, okay. Well, there's the 1% chance. It's like, okay, I may not be able to get out of this hospital bed right now. Doctor said that I'm never going to walk again. I'm going to be wheelchair bound. Well, what can I do? And so I started writing out exercise plans and giving them to my clients. I started, you know, I had a team of trainers that worked for me, and I kept. That kept their businesses going, and they worked for me. And I started just. I think a lot of times you have to look at what you still can do and what brings you joy. And then there was a lot of winging it. And I never, ever imagined that I would eventually write a book that would become a bestseller, be on the Today show, sitting across from Megyn Kelly, getting to be interviewed by her. And so I think that with a lot of grit, it's not necessarily about being the smartest. You know, I don't have a college education. It's not necessarily about, you know, title or money. It's about how hard you're willing to work for that thing that you really want to do. And it's really starting with a mindset of believing yourself and believing that anything is possible.

So. And this is. This is beautiful because now, first off, the book's name is Grit and Grace. Yeah. So I Want to make sure that we link that up in the show notes. It is. It is something that y' all should read, because at some point in our life, at some point in our life, we're going to need grace and we're going to need to find grit. And if you haven't experienced it yet, with the pandemic and everything else, it's coming. I mean, I don't mean to be a downer, but it's just the reality of the ebbs and flows of life. And I think I want to go back to something you did, because we did the same thing when I got diagnosed with cancer. I think too often we don't do this, but when you got the diagnosis, when they turned around and said, 1%, yeah, probably just give it up, that you were not willing to give it up. And there's something to be said for advocating for your future to sit back and say, no, this isn't the way it's going to be. And the person in this process that had the opportunity, the only person that had the opportunity to say, okay, God forbid, go ahead and take my leg, became you. I mean, that's the reality of it, is that you chose to say, there's got to be something else. And you stood up, you, your husband, and said, let's figure it out and let's fight for everything we get. And now you put everything on the line. $3 million in freaking medical bills. And, you know, the statistics show that. That the majority of bankruptcies are a result of medical bills. They just can't. People can't sustain it.

It's crazy. And I have to give my husband credit right now, because when I was in a coma, they were just going to amputate it. And he's the one that was like, no, don't amputate her leg. That needs be to be her decision. I want her to wake up out of a coma. Let that be her decision. So he always reminds me, you have both of your legs because of me. So I'm giving him credit right now. But, yeah, it's crazy, the medical bills. And, you know, when I was in the hospital, there was one doctor who we didn't know he was out of network. He was a pulmonary doctor. So he would literally come by every day. I was in the hospital for three and a half months. The first time, he would come by every day just to check my Pulse. That was $300 every single time he just walked in the room. So one of the things that we did was we were able to negotiate down on some of these medical bills that we had, but it was. It was crazy. And thankfully, you know, I was so out of it from being in so much pain and everything, that my husband took charge of a lot of the finances. And I have to say, Mel, one of the things that it was a big mistake that we had was we had separate accounts. So I had my Wells Fargo account, he had his, you know, bank of America account. And when I was in a coma, you know, I was the main. He. He's retired now, but he was a lieutenant commander with a highway patrol, and I was really the main breadwinner. And so here I was in a coma. He had no access to. To the money to pay the mortgage. And so it was after that that we ended up getting, you know, a trust. We're now both on each other's accounts. But I don't know if you deal with a lot of this with people that you help, but for me, being a single mom for a long time and having to start over, I had this fear that I was like, no one's on my bank account ever again. No one's ever getting my money. You know, I just had this. And it was a big, scary thing for me to, after the accident, go, oh, wow, okay, I trust you with my life. I guess I can trust you with my bank account. And so we're now on each other's bank accounts. But it was such a learning experience to go through so many hardships and to have to start over career wise at age 38 years old, it's crazy.

Two hours after I got diagnosed, I'm leaving the house. And Stephanie says, where are you going? I said, the attorney's office. And she goes, what? And she was like. She was pissed because she thought I was doing end of life planning, which I guess in a way I was. But it was really peace of life. It was me sitting back and saying, and if those that are listening, if you're not having financial conversations, if you're not having these real conversations around money, around finances, with the person that you're living life with, man, it's time to start. Because we all get raised. I mean, the whole idea of money and everything is a very emotional topic, and it's taboo and we don't talk about it. And most money issues, most money issues are symptoms of other issues and not really the issue. And anytime there's a problem, the solution to the problem starts with talking. But if we're told we don't talk about it, how do we solve the problem? You know, so I, so yeah, I mean, structures and trusts and all that stuff. It's definitely something that people need to think about, at least have the conversations around us. You know, you've got children. What's going to happen?

How does that work? It took me almost dying, you know, there was a time when he didn't know, is she going to wake up from this next surgery? Is she? You know, I mean, and there was a time in the hospital, I remember, you know, I didn't realize at that moment that my femoral artery was severed. And I had a doctor who was amazing and he basically saved my life. He put my femoral artery back together. But in the hospital, in the emergency room when they wheeled me in and I, for the first time like saw my husband freak out and he's a first responder. I've never seen him hysterical. And I remember yelling across the ER saying, honey, I need you to get over here and be strong for me. Because I didn't know if I was going to ever. I didn't know if I was going to wake up or I thought maybe I was dying. And so it took a near death accident for us to have that conversation around money, get on the same bank account here. We were married, we had a child together. He has, you know, I had another child from a previous marriage together with, you know, and now living with us. And it took all of that for us to do that. What you call. I like how you said peace of mind because we do have all of that in place now. You know, God forbid something happens to us, but it does give you peace of mind that if something happens, everything is taken care of. We don't have to think of those things.

It's so, it's so huge. I remember when we signed the new trust, the updated trust, after the whole thing with the attorney he sat with, he sat with both of us. And I've known this, this guy has been my attorney for decades and we're very good friends. And, and he said this now. He said, I know, Stephanie, you didn't want to do this. I know you didn't want to have these conversations. But now the two of you can fight this cancer battle together. And he knows that. He's taking care of you, he's taking care of his son and daughter in law. And at that time we didn't know we were going to have a grandchildren. He's taken care of his brother, he's taken care of everyone he loves. And now he can go in peace and fight the battle without that burden.

I didn't know to do that. I mean, I taught my parents to do that after this, and we set our stuff up. I then had the conversation with my parents, and I was like, dad, you need to get everything in order. I'm not trying to be a downer here, but really, I'm going to be the one taking care of things, and I need you to help me out and let me know what you want to do.

Here's the way to think about it, is the way I tell people, I said, you actually have an agreement in place, and that agreement can either be by choice or by legality. In other words, the state will decide your fate if you do nothing by choice. And so rather than us, just leave it to the state because we see how the states can run. How about we decide the important decisions about our life, about our future, about our children, about these things and do it right? As entrepreneurs, you invest so much time, and you are even more so in the sense that you're a personal brand. So this is you that's out there, and you invest so much time building that brand and so much time building the. Let's call it an empire, whatever it is, whatever size it is. But you're building this financial future, this richness of life for your children, for you and your husband, doing it together and building that connection. And I didn't know that we would go down this road, but I think it's so important for us to have these. These conversations to protect everything that you've created because you've already invested so much time into it.

It is really uncomfortable. I mean, it was very uncomfortable for me. I was really kind of throwing a fit all the way to the bank and to the lawyer's office. But I knew it was something I had to do. And it made me look at how I viewed money, my relationship with money, my marriage. And actually, it bonded us. Going through all of this, it has bonded us even more. There's more of a trust there, but it is uncomfortable. But it doesn't have to be. When you look at it in a way that you're taking care of your loved ones and you're making sure that, you know everything's going to be smooth sailing. Well, as smooth as it can possibly be. God forbid something does go wrong.

You know, I watched. So I lost my. My dad 11 and a half years ago. Stephanie lost her dad, I think, four or five years ago. But I watched both our mothers because they came from that, let's say, that generation. I shouldn't Say that. But that generation, when it happened, to be in fear and be in panic about, can I keep the house? Can I continue to live not knowing anything? And I remember with her mom, we stayed. I said, let's just change our plans. We'll stay there a week. And I said, you know, I was able to say, you're staying in the house. I redid some things. You're fine. You're good. But too often we don't do that. And I think as a couple, especially in today's times, it's important for us to do that as a couple, to have the conversations as hard as they are, and we don't have to be on the same line of the page. As long as we're on the same page.

Yeah, yeah. And I mean, look, you know, my husband and I still have separate accounts. We view money a little bit different. We do not balance our checkbooks. That the same. I'm very meticulous about. I know exactly how much money is in my account to the penny. And he's like, oh, yeah, trust the bank to do that for me. And I'm like, you don't balance your checkbook. Like, what? You know, and so.

So he's a lot like my wife. I'm a lot like you.

I guess so. Yeah. And you know what? We just. We just make it work. And so I think our solution to that was to have separate accounts instead of. We're not going to, you know, we're just going to agree that we do things differently. I could, you know, tell him all day long that this is the way you do it, but he's going to say, no, that doesn't work for me. So instead, our solution to that was we are both on the same. Like, I can go to his bank if I want to. If something happened, I've got, you know, we kind of separate things. What I pay for, what his expenses are. And I know a lot of people that don't do that. And I have. I've got actually some friends that don't work and they have to get permission to buy things. And I'm like, I will never be. Of course I have a discussion. If it's a big thing like you and I talked about on the phone earlier, I have a discussion with my husband. I want to invest in this thing, but I'm like, I want. To me having the ability to make money, having some money in your bank account, that's freedom to me. That is my ability to make more impact. That's my ability to. To. To have some time to spend time with my family on a vacation that I know they really want to go on. And so, you know, however you set up your accounts, I think it's really important, like you said earlier, to have that communication and have those tough conversations that aren't so fun. And I know a lot of couples that maybe argue around, that's one of the main reasons they argue is over finances.

So we're somewhat the same. We've got some combined accounts and we've got some individual accounts. And, and the key is that you have the communication more so than the accounts. I'm, I'm not one that says, oh, everything's combined. And look, you had a prior relationship, I had a prior relationship, prior kid, prior, you know, we had similar things. So there isn't a one size fits all, but there is one size fits all in the sense that I think we all need to be having conversations about this and about our future and dreaming big and having the visions and saying, are we kind of going down the same path? Are we going down the same journey? Because that's how I think couples start to drift apart is that we somehow had the same vision or similar visions and now we've lost sight of those visions and we don't have those real conversations. Stephanie and I thought every 90, well before the pandemic, about every 90 days we would, we would take some time and we would either take a vacation or a staycation and we would spend some time reflecting, reconnecting, rejuvenating, doing some things to just make sure that we're still on the same page and knowing that that's block time that can't be changed.

That's so awesome that you do that.

I'm blessed. She's an amazing, amazing gal. Clearly bad taste in men, but she, no.

She works for a European company now she works for a Japanese company. So their view of time off and their view of vacations is vastly different than the American view. And so we benefit from that. She's an executive running $100 million in sales teams and things like that. And yet she has the flexibility for us to decide we're going to take off and everything. So it has allowed us to create a lifestyle of our choosing. And how long have y' all been married? We met, so we met 11 years ago. Eleven and a half years ago. We married 10 years this past June, so.

Oh, wow, 10 years.

We hit the decade. There was, there was a time in my life where 10 minutes was a long term relationship, but she's just 10.

Years is a long time.

It is, it is. And I will tell you, just like you said with your situation, us going through the cancer together, first off, I would have not handled it as gracefully if it wasn't for her. I'm not even sure that I would come through it the way I have. And our connection, our bond, because I needed her involvement because we changed diet and all kinds of things. And she's an amazing cook and she bakes all the time. She Learned because since 2019, I've had no sugar, no grains, no dairy. And she cooks completely to fit that, and she supports it. And I mean, you talk about richness in life, having a significant other or partner that supports you wholly and everything. There's. There's probably not a whole lot better feeling to just to know that you're safe with them. And, you know, we get. We talk about a lot on money on the show and everything, but man, having the money but not have it and losing that relationship, that. That's a. That's a bankrupt life to me after I've experienced it.

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I mean, I think about what my husband went through when I was in the hospital and, you know, we had a two year old I'd never been away from and he suddenly was taking care of my teenage daughter. Our two year old, he was at the hospital at Cedar Sinai every single day, twice a day. Wow. He married this vibrant, healthy go getter. And all of a sudden, now he's changing my bedpan for me. I mean, he had to cook, he had to clean, he had to do it all. And thank goodness he had a job where he had time that he could take off and he didn't lose his job. And I have to say, the brother and the sisterhood of the police force was incredible. They came to our side, they brought over food, my clients, same thing. I had a revolving door and we had people bringing us food, coming over to visit, and so it was really a blessing. But I think that situation really bonded us because we went through so much. But there was a lot of, gosh, remember waking up and at the moment that I realized that I was at Mel, I was actually watching some infomercial on tv. And I'm embarrassed to say this, but nothing was on tv and I was in so much pain. So I was watching this infomercial about how to get a Brazilian butt and I was like, oh, my gosh, I'll never have that. There were these beautiful girls on the tv and they were all in their bikinis and I remember being in the hospital all by myself. It was in the middle of the night and looking down at my leg that was held together with these metal rods and completely, you could see the inside of my leg and just mangled. And I thought, wow, is my husband ever going to love me again? Am I going to be able to chase after my kids? Am I going to be able to work? I just started going down that. That road of despair. And it's been tough.

This is huge. And it kind of triggered the other thing that I wanted to touch on that you mentioned earlier. And I think this starts to lead into this because I think so many people are struggling with this now. And. And that is you mentioned about what am I going to do, which is really an identity question. Who am I now? Who am I now that I'm not able to do the fitness? I'm not able to do the work that I was doing, that I was enjoying, that was passionate. That was everything. I mean, who am I? And that's a really tough go because you had to deal with that. And I'd love to hear maybe some of the things that helped you, I guess, in a sense, find yourself or realize that you never lost yourself in the process.

That's key. What you said just there. You never lost yourself. But I was so caught up in my identity, as I am the fitness girl. I'm the one that's doing the infomercials. And I was on. If you went into your Rite Aid or CVS and walked down the vitamin aisle. I was on the vitamin bottles for a bunch of the vitamins I was on in Shape magazine. And to go from that to completely scarred up, my legs deformed, and ask yourself, who am I? What am I going to do? And I think what I had to do was dig deep to give my. You mentioned how we have to have grace, but I had to give myself a lot of grace through the process. I had to learn to love myself again. And that was one of the hardest things. And I don't think that I could have done it as fast. And I say fast. It took a few years. That was pretty fast. You know, healing process is a journey, but I think it's really important to have people around you that maybe believe in you before you can believe in yourself when you're feeling down, when you've lost everything, when you were struggling to find out who you really are, but just to know that you've never lost yourself. And I think a good way to figure out who you are is to Ask yourself, how do you love? What do you love to do? What brings joy? And for me, I love people. And my joy has always been when I can teach people. I mean, I started teaching dance when I was 13. When I moved to LA, I had $1,200 saved up. I had worked four jobs, three save up $1,200. And I knew when I get to LA, I'm going to have to find a job quick. And so two of those jobs were teaching dance at a dance studio. And I love that. And I remember thinking, wow, they're actually paying me to do what I love. And so I think that if you can stop and ask yourself, what do you love to do? How do you love? How are you of service? That's how you can kind of figure out who you are. It's not necessarily about what you look like or how much money you have or title or any of those things. I think it's how you show up for others. And so for me, although I really thought, who is ever going to want to train with me again? Because I used to train boxers and people. I would get them prepared for the CHP exam, their physical. I used to do Krav Maga. I did Muay Thai. I was, like, lifting weights with the strongest guys in the gym. Now I'm at the gym on crutches. Now I was back in my wheelchair. Now I'm on crutches. Now I was with a walker. And, you know, I thought, who's going to want to train with me? I'm broken. To my surprise, when I went back to the gym and started training and said, I'm available to train, my career boomed because people looked at me as, oh, my gosh, that girl has no excuses. If she's in here working out in her wheelchair, then I think I can go take that spin class today. I don't. I'm not, you know, I'm not hurting like she is. I can go do this, or, you know, I just had people say, I don't have excuses. I thought about you when I didn't feel like working out, but I remembered you coming in on your crutches or limping across the gym floor. And so I started training again. But it was when I realized, you know, after being diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome as a result of the accident, I was still in chronic pain. And the real lessons began when I was like, oh, my goodness, I cannot keep pushing through and sucking it up and stuffing down the pain. I have to address this. I have to take a Look at what I'm doing. And I wasn't really serving myself or others because I would work really hard and then be in so much pain that I couldn't stand up to even cook dinner or I couldn't even take. Barely take care of myself. So I thought, well, how can I still serve people? How can I still work with people but not kill myself standing up on my leg? And that's when I started doing. Figuring things out, like how and which is. I think a lot of people over this past year and a half have had to figure out what they're going to do. For me, it's like, well, I can coach people over zoom. I can coach more than one person. Person at a time. I get. And so there's always different ways to do something. And when I was, you know, to me, I thought, oh, resilience is bouncing back and I have to bounce back to what I was doing. And I really don't think resilience is about bouncing back. I think it's about bouncing forward with an open mind, being flexible and being willing to try new things and having the courage, courage to move forward and choosing a life of joy and laughter no matter what. No matter what your circumstances are.

Yeah, I love that attitude. And I'm guessing, and I'm almost certain, because I went through the similar thing, that it wasn't always that attitude. There was probably some many, many dark moments where you're sitting back and struggling to find the attitude, but it's really that that gets you through it. I know for me, someone asked, you know, what was, what was the scariest part of the cancer? And I said the thought that I wasn't going to be able to continue to experience life because I loved life too much.

I said it wasn't really, you know, no one wants cancer. No one wants to go through what you went through and then have chronic pain that's just debilitating and is there. But when you have a love for life, it starts to get you through it. When you have other things outside of you that don't determine who you are, but that draw you through it, like, like your husband, your kids, and, and. And just the lust for life, I.

Think it's important to. When you're struggling. I mean, I know for me, one of the things that really helped me get through some of the darkest days was being of service to others. And, you know, there might be people going, well, how can I be of service? I can't even help myself. And I'm like, there is always something you can do to be of service. I mean, when I was in the hospital bed, I remember I was, you know, so focused first of all on gratitude. And I noticed that when I would write in my journal reminders for me to write thank you notes to people and I would write down every nurse's name that was taking care of me, it shifted my mindset from self pity and despair to all the things that I did have and I could do. But another thing that really helped pull me through was even though I was stuck in that bed, I focused on what I could do. The doctors thought I was crazy because I was like, I need a pull up bar installed over the bed and some dumbbells. So I called one of my friends and said, could you bring some, some dumbbells to the hospital? Because I really. And it wasn't because I was like, oh, I need to be fit. It was, I knew that if I could at least work on my upper body strength and keep that strong, I could use the bedpan on my own. I could lift my own body weight up. I could do things to make me feel like I was moving in the right direction. And I think it's taking these small steps that are just any kind of action step that give you the confidence and gives you that feeling of, okay, it's going to be okay. I've got this. What can I do today? And being of service, I was in the bed and I was making phone calls to clients. I was even given the nurses when they learned that I was a fitness trainer. They were, they were saying, so what are some exercises I can do to get a better booty? Like, what are some things I do? So I loved it because it took my mind off of what was going on with me and just focusing on that. And is today the day they're going to amputate my leg? And instead I could focus on being of service to others. And I think at that time I needed my clients more than they needed me.

So there's a quote on your website from your grandfather that I freaking love. I mean, obviously I've never heard it before because I didn't know your granddad, but the whole idea of you have a shovel and you can either lean on it and pray for the hole or you can start digging. And God, it's such a visual to sit back and say, wherever we are today.

Wherever we are today, no matter whether it was bad decisions, bad choices, circumstances, wherever we are, we have the shovel and we either get a chance to decide that we're going to lean on it and pray, or we're going to decide to use it probably was meant for and start digging a whole new existence. And that's what you did. I mean, it's an amazing journey, which isn't over, it's continuing, it's growing. And I mean, I see the things that you're doing, and you're just an amazing example of what you stand for, which is resilience. But how do you deal with adversity? How do you deal with these things as a human, as a mom, as a wife, as a role model? And I think this is why, when I had the chance to bring on a show, I thought, this is going to. We may not talk a lot about dollars and cents and all that, but without this, it doesn't matter what you make. It doesn't matter how wealthy you are. It doesn't matter, because there was a guy, his name was Adolf Merkel. He was a German, one of the wealthiest, wealthiest billionaires in Germany. He was worth $16 billion, if I remember the. The numbers correctly. He made a bad investment in Volkswagen. He lost $2 billion. So he went from 16 billion to 14 billion. He could not deal with it because of his identity, because of what it meant to him that he threw himself in front of a train. And it's like, these are the things that when we see people from the outside and not from the inside, we might see what we think is just this Cinderella story. But you had an amazing, amazing journey up to the point of that accident. I think that your journey since that time is ten times more amazing because of what it shows is possible. And so I honor you for this and for you to push through the pain and to allow people that might be looking at their current circumstances, financially or otherwise, and say, I can't do it, but they can. They can.

I know. I mean, I know it's hard in. Believe me, I'm not trying to make it sound easy. I went through a lot of depression. I really got to a place where I didn't want to live anymore. But I was too scared to die. I was afraid to die. And I thought about my children and I thought, I want to be an example of resilience to them. And it was at that moment that I thought, oh, I need help. I can't stop. You know, I. I was trying to pretend like everything was okay on the outside, and I was sucking it up, and I was trying and trying to push through the. The pain every day, and I wasn't taking care of myself like I should. And I was hanging on by a thread. And it was at that point I had this thing in me where I didn't want people to know I was in so much pain. I think how I was raised, I was taught not to cry. I was taught you better cowgirl up. And I could not cowgirl up anymore. And I think that the first step to making any big transformation, whether it's with your finances, whether it's with your health, whether it's career, whether it's with your relationship, whatever it is, it really comes down to taking radical, radical experience acceptance, like taking a good, hard look at where you are in your life and what's going on and what you're doing, and is it working for you or against you? Because I was in a bad place where I was starting. I was starting to drink every day to try to cope with the pain, because I'd have every kind of medical procedure out there and nothing was working for the pain. And it wasn't until I took radical acceptance for where I was. I reached out and asked for help. That was tough, man. The phone felt like the heaviest thing in the world to pick up when I had to reach out and ask for help. That saved my life. When you know you're not alone on your journey, and I guarantee you there's somebody listening right now, and they're thinking, oh, my gosh, I have felt like that before, and I'm telling you, it's worth it not to give up. It might feel hard. It might feel. Feel like you don't know what to do. But I promise you, if you just reach out, ask for help, know you're not alone in your journey. And that's what really helped me was seeing others that had gone before me, that had gone through really hard situations and having that glimmer of hope. And I think that's all we need sometimes is that glimmer of hope that carries us through. And, you know, for me, I pray a lot, and I think it's important to surround yourself with amazing, incredible people and have people like we were talking about, you do a mastermind. So have people that you know that you can go mastermind. If you're an entrepreneur, if you're a mom and you're listening to this and you're trying to get your finances together. It's important to have your moms that you're in your, you know, in your group, have your moms. For me, I'm sober by the grace of God for five and a half years now. It's important That I have what I call my God squad, and I check in with them. But whatever it is, don't do it alone and know you're not alone.

So good. So good. And I totally agree with you. I mean, life isn't a solitary pursuit. And it's okay to say I'm hurting and I just gotta, like, let it down for a little bit and let it out for a little bit. And so I. I mean that. That if. If all you take away is that message, then. Then this was all worth it because it's so important. We're just not alone. And in this time of shutdown and lockdowns and all that stuff, we all feel. We all can feel isolated and siloed, and it makes it even worse versus being able to have people by your bedside, by your side and everything. And so we need to make a proactive effort. So I. Listen, Amberly, this. I mean, this wasn't exactly. But I didn't know, like we said, we're just going to have a conversation. I think this is such a valuable conversation for so many people today. And I. I, first off, appreciate you. And I appreciate you for your honesty, your openness, your transparency, the. The love you have for life and the way you show up to say, I'm here to serve and if it'll serve, take me through the pain again. I don't care. You know, I mean, and that's just. That's your nature. And I don't. I haven't known you for long, but I know that I'll know you for a long time.

Oh, I know that I'll know you for a long time, too. So I kept hearing, you gotta know this Mel Abraham, he is an awesome guy. You gotta meet him. And I'm so grateful that I finally get to meet you. And yes, I think that we don't live far from each other.

No, we don't.

We're going to be doing an event together in a couple of months, so I think we're going to have a of, lot, lot of fun. And I'm also going to have you on my podcast, True Grit.

Let's do it.

So we're going to have fun, and I want to talk about your journey as well. And I'm just glad you're here and taking care of yourself, too. And I hope to meet Stephanie, too.

We'll make sure that we make that happen and all that. So do me a favor. Where can our audience, if they want to find you, they want to follow you, they want to keep up with you. Where can we send. Where should they go?

Well, I tell you what, I hang out on Instagram a lot. So if you're listening to this or if you're watching it on YouTube, take a screenshot and tag me @amberly Lagomotivation on Instagram and tag Mel Abraham. And if you want to reach out and just say hello. And you know, I have a downloadable resource for you and it's how to Tap into youo Superpower of Resilience. So if you heard this and you want like a five step tip on the things that I do every day to be more resilient, just text me the word GRIT 281-821-47378. You get a free downloadable playbook and then. Or just say hi. You can text me just say hi. Because I love to connect with people and Amberly Lago.com is my website and so thank you again for your generosity and having me on your show. And I look forward to seeing you soon as well.

Absolutely, absolutely. And we'll make sure we put all that stuff in the show, notes and everything so people can get in touch with you easy. And this has been a blessing, an honor, a joy, and I can't wait to do more. Thank you for listening to the Affluent Entrepreneurship with me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the Affluent Entrepreneur Facebook group now by going to melabraham.com group and I'll see you there.

And that's it for this episode of Building your Money Machine where we help you learn how to master your money, eliminate financial stress, and live a life of choice. If you found this valuable or helpful to you, here's what I'd love for you to do. If you do me a favor, go to Apple, Apple Podcast or wherever you're listening to this podcast and rate and review the show. It helps us tremendously to keep us at the top of the list so we can continue to get this information and this message out to people. Because I truly believe that financial freedom is your birthright and I want to help each and every one of you claim it. Thanks so much.