062 Stop Sacrificing Your Family For Money ft. Elizabeth Hartke, Business and Leadership Strategist

Hey there, real quick before we jump into the episode, listen, if your earnings treadmill hasn't set you free yet, running faster won't either. Listen, hustle without principles just going to burn you out. So here's what I want for you. I want you to join me for my money machine experience live. It is three free trainings. Deep dive into how to escape the treadmill and build a money machine that actually works for you. All right, Grab your spot here by going to moneymachinelive.com and I'll see you in the free training. Wow. I just got done filming this episode. You guys are in for a treat. Listen, when we become entrepreneurs, when we're trying to build a business, or when we're trying to make money and build wealth and wealth creation, often we sacrifice the things that are near and dear to us. Our family, our loved ones, our health. Okay. For the sake of it. And we think we're doing the right things. Well, Liz and I have some frank, open conversations around entrepreneurship in the family unit and how to bring it in, how to do it the right way, and to make sure that we're not sacrificing the things that actually matter most to giving you the rich life as we talk about in the affluence blueprint, the richness in life versus just wealth and money. All right, so this episode with Liz is incredible. I hope you enjoyed as much as I did doing it. She's an incredible soul and a bright, shining star making a difference in the world, and she's going to make a difference in your world. See you in the episode.

This is the affluent entrepreneur show for entrepreneurs that want to operate at a high level and achieve financial liberation. I'm your host, Mel Abraham, and I'll be sharing with you what it takes to create success beyond wealth so you can have a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle. In this show, you'll learn how business and money intersect so you can scale your business, scale your money, and scale your life while creating a deeper impact and living with complete freedom, because that's what it really means to be an athlete, entrepreneur.

Now, most of the time I talk about money, but it's really not money for money's sake because money is a vehicle. It's a tool that allows us to live bigger lives, to live more generous lives, to create experiences and richness in our world and the people we care about. And we connected. Liz and I connected. You and I connected at that level because I started to hear some of the things you were doing as an entrepreneur and as you Grew in some of the story there. And I think it's important for my community and audience to hear this, and that's why we quickly said, let's get you on the calendar. Let's get you on the show, and let's have this conversation. So if you would, for those that don't know who you are and where you come from, can you just start with just giving us a little. Little flavor for your journey and what brought you here?

Yeah, thanks for having me on, Mel. I just. I've been buzzing since we had that conversation for my show because it's such a breath of fresh air to connect with people, you know, peers that are really making an impact outside of just the financial focus and giving so much meaning to that money. And it was just something that I resonated so deeply with and a journey that we're walking right now as a family. I am a mom to three young kids, so we're in the thick of it. We're in, you know, neck deep and crazy, my husband and I, and we live on a little hobby farm out in Wisconsin. But don't get it twisted. I'm by no stretch a farmer. We're figuring it out as we go. I kill almost every plant or thing that I try to grow.

So is it a hobby farm? Because it's just a hobby and it's not a business? Is that why they call it that? Because, listen, I'm a city boy, beach boy. Don't put me anywhere close to a farmer planting.

We have no clue what we're doing, Mel. It's so hysterical. So we actually went on this trip to California when I was pregnant with our second baby. So it was just my husband, me, and our oldest, Jack, and we stayed on this farm, and it was just picturesque out in wine country on, like, 400 acres, had all these animals, and we're like, man, the piece here is so, so amazing. And we were living in the city at the time where we lived in Boston. I'm from out east. And we just craved a more simple way of life. So when I say hobby farm, it's because we. We have chickens and a dog, three crazy kids in a garden that I'm trying to keep alive. And we had an intention of getting, like, cows and stuff. And then we realized, oh, wait, we don't want to do the work required when you do that. So, yeah, we're. That it's kind of a hobby. It's kind of a, you know, just keep it alive as best you can kind of situation.

There you Go. Sorry to derail you.

That's okay. So out here on this lovely hobby farm, we also run our business, which is called the Luminary Leadership Company. And I've been doing what I do for 10 years now, and it's evolved quite considerably since 10 years ago when I got my start in entrepreneurship. And our primary focus is really working with all different level entrepreneurs. But we work with a lot of higher level entrepreneurs, people that have already seen success in their business. But the, the, the common thread for many of them is they get to this place where they're, they're. No, strategy is not enough. You know, we've helped them grow and scale and that's awesome. But they're capped by their own leadership. How much are they willing to grow into the person that they have to be in order to carry this mission out? And secondarily and, and primarily for us, I guess I should say the passion and the call on my heart, on my husband's heart, what we've been led to is really mentoring these entrepreneurs for the sake of the family. We see entrepreneurship as such a gift. I grew up in an entrepreneurial family, which I'm sure I'll go into a little bit more. But so many of my gifts and the things I learned and the wisdom that I witnessed over the years was through the power of entrepreneurship. But what can often happen is despite the fact that we get into business for our families, you know, some people call it a Y or whatever, it ends up being at the expense of our families because we're head down working towards some goal, whether it's financial. I know that's what you work with a lot of people on or what they come to you talking about. But we were talking about this before we hit record. You know, if that dream, quote, dream has to come at the expense of what matters most, something's wrong and ultimately it hurts the entrepreneur. Right? We're not going to feel fulfilled. And we got to think, we think it's the next goal or the next seven figures, the next whatever. When in reality it's if we were bringing the same level of intention into our home that we brought to our business, everything would change for us and for our family. So a lot of the work that we do is around supporting entrepreneurs in what we call success in business, legacy at home. How are you making sure it's not about balance, it's about intention. And how are you ensuring that you're raising up the next generation of leaders that are sitting right there at your own dinner table?

So good so good. Here's. It's. There's so many places that I, I can go with this because I think it's an important conversation. Curious. The reason you're here.

Is it because you ran into this issue? You saw that that was okay?

Oh, 100%. We navigated it tooth and nail as a family ourselves. And we're desperate for change because we saw the writing on the wall, Mel. We were like, man, this is not sustainable. I kept telling myself, it's just a season. This is just a season. Like we're just pushing through this so that we can, so we can get to whatever and fill in the blank and then we can fill in the blank. And my husband finally was like, yeah, this isn't a season, Liz. This is the way we've chosen to live. We've got to uproot this thing. Thankfully, we did it early, while our kids were still young. But the thing that made me aware of it was witnessing it in literally every single client that I was mentoring, every person that came through my masterminds, every person that I did intensives with, every person that was writing in for my show, whatever. It was the same. Different versions, but the same ultimately, same thing for everybody. Of feeling like they were split in two. They were, they were, how am I ever going to be successful in business while also being a present parent, while also being there to raise up my kids in leadership, while also whatever. And so it was a personal struggle that we navigated and came out the other side of, but still are human and have to continually bring ourselves back to this place. And it was everyone that I was working with was suffering from this and no one was talking about it. Everyone talk. They paint this picture on social media or in their webinars or wherever they're front facing in the book they write. It's all a bunch of bs. Everybody's just. Unless they become super hyper focused on this and they weave this and they choose this as a way of life consciously, they are suffering in some capacity behind the scenes and they can't figure out what it is. And that's what we do at our company is really work with these entrepreneurs to give them the resources, the tools and have the really tough, humbling conversations of what needs to change in order to live out our true mission, not just the one that we think would look good to the public or whatever it might be.

Yeah, so this is, this is something that for me, I got this lesson at the hands of Jeremy when he was 6 because I was doing what most entrepreneurs do I was. I was.

I was working hard. I was digging in. You know, I had just gotten pushed out by my partner, so I had no. I was starting over.

And he drew a picture of me at 6 years old and came running in and said, daddy, Daddy, I drew a picture of you at school today. And he was excited, he was elated. And I bent down, I grabbed this picture, and it was a picture of me in front of two computer screens with a phone in each ear. And I said, oh, my God, I'm totally screwing this thing up. And it would have been easy for.

Me.

To say, but, dude, this is. This is for us. This is for our future. It's how we pay the bills. It's how we get to do the things that we do. But the fact of the matter is, the picture told the whole story. We weren't doing the things that we were supposed to do. We weren't doing. He didn't see me as a dad. He didn't see me as a role model, at least the kind of role model that I wanted to be. And, you know, and you get all the stuff. And I love that you're saying intention. I use a different word, but it's me. We're using it the same way. Because then a lot of people got in my head and said, oh, Mel, you got to get work life balance.

Work life balance means that.

You'Ve got two counterbalancing weights playing tug of war all day, or more than two. I said, we don't need balance. We need harmony. And harmony comes by living intentionally. And so hearing you say that and go, that's it. Because.

I don't know, one of the. For me, as a parent, especially as a single parent, when I was raising him.

It'S the greatest gift that we're given is to. And it's not just a gift to us, it's a gift to the future of society. Because these, our youth are going to grow up and. And that whole family unit, we sometimes seem to sacrifice it for the sake of what we call success or for the sake of money. And I mean, I watched so many people just destroy health, lives, relationships.

Families because of money. And I know I'm a money guy, but I'm not a money guy for the sake of money. And if someone wants to talk about, hey, how do I make money? My first question is, why?

And so when someone comes to you or when you hear that, what's one of the first things that you can. That they should be thinking about doing?

Because I know you're Going to get resistance. I mean, most of them are going, well, I can't do that. So, I mean, how can they start to navigate this? To bring what I call instead of wealth into their life, richness into their life?

Right. Yeah, there is resistance because the first piece of resistance is, oh, well, that's. It's different for me. Or that's not really. You know, it's. We're just in that season. Or. Well, the reason we're operating this way is. And I think the first piece, if I'm working with someone closely, is getting them to tell me what their priorities are. And it's always the same, oh, my family, my marriage, my kids, my health, my faith, whatever. Like, cool, open your calendar. Let's go through your calendar. And we flip through if they have a planner or we're going through their phone. And it's like, based on what I'm seeing in your planner, what's pen to paper, what's reality? Right. I don't see reflected here what you are saying with your mouth is your priority. And if it's only showing up intermittently throughout the month, not consistently day after day or at least week after week, it's the indicator that we're living out of congruence with what we believe is our priority versus what is truth. Like, what is reality. We call it dropping the pin. Like, you got to drop that pin. You got to get real with yourself about where you're at and be humble enough to say, man, I'm not living in integrity with who I know I'm called to be. And I need to shift that. And the shifting it. We do an exercise called finding your true north. And I really encourage the entrepreneur to bring their family into this conversation, whether it's their spouse or their kids, even if their kids are young like mine. We, Michael and I, my husband and I, brought the three crazies into the equation to have this conversation because it's a lot of discussing what are our values as a family? And really defining them, not saying, oh, you know, it's. It's faith. Okay, well, what is faith to you? And what does that look like when it's being lived out in your family? That could be different in your family versus someone else's. And what is health? And how does that. How is that defined? And when are you living in alignment with health? And when are you living out of alignment with health? So really giving definition to these things, and then looking at the season you're in as a family and saying, what are our priorities in this Season. And when you have this, there's a lot more to it, but when you have this true north, you have this guide. It makes it so much easier, Mel, to juxtapose, really, anything you encounter, whether it's a decision or. Or a challenge or a work opportunity against this true north, and say, is it in alignment or is it not? So that the next time we look at their calendar, it's reflecting what is true. We're going in the right direction because they have a tool to say, is this working for me, or am I following this path that's aligned with my family, or am I over here in my own lane? And I think that's the plague of today's entrepreneurial society is we've become this narcissistic me culture. Mom's over here. I'm a mom, permanent preneur. I'm gonna have my goals and my vision. There's no talking about it with our family, though, because it's okay. This is the business, and I keep boundaries around the business, and I just go. Even if the way I have to get there is to steamroll my freaking people, the ones that I love more than any. And sometimes I look at it and maybe this is just how I was raised. I'm like, kind of old school in my thinking. And I have an old school Italian grandmother who would basically tell us, like, you die to your family, meaning not. You give up who you are. You let go of your dreams, but you become a team when you make that commitment to be in a family and you don't get your dream. It's our dream now, and. And you might have to play your role in order to facilitate that dream. But my kids, Even though they're 6, 5, and 3, they play a role in pursuit of our dreams as a family, even if they're not actively working in the business. When I go take a trip to speak and I have to leave my family.

They know that that's coming. They've signed off on that particular trip. They said, yeah, this is a good one. For this moves us towards our mission as a family. This is gonna help you help more families, which is our goal. And they're here saying, okay, Mom's going to be gone. All right, I'll help get my baby sisters down to bed this week. I'll take care of that part. And then my husband's saying, okay, I've got this covered. So we're now a team. Even though I'm doing the business thing, we're a team. And it's that Integration of business and family. That is what stops the feeling that you described earlier, which is being pulled into totally different directions. You're not two different people leading in two different worlds. That's a lie, of course. That's why you feel like garbage. Because who would. That's impossible.

You're in conflict all the time.

Yes, exactly. All the time. You're always failing. If you look at it through that lens, I'm hoping.

All right, y', all, that just listen to. I want you all to go back to what Liz just said. I want you to listen to it again. I don't want you to open your calendar. I literally want you to write down what you believe your values are. I want you to do the exercise and then I want you to open the calendar. I want you to get real. Because if we're not can get real with our reality, we can't make the dream the reality. And so go through.

What she's talking about. Because.

You can sit back and passively listen and say, this is really good stuff, which it is. Or you can become active and use your feet, use your actions to demonstrate the priorities that you say, the values that you say you have to make that happen. And so.

I'm going to invite you, I'm going to implore you, I'm going to urge you to do that going forward. And I love the way you said you enrolled the kids because I'm one that, that tells, you know, people say, well, when, you know, should I talk to my kids about money? I don't want to talk to my kids about money. I started paying Jeremy a commission at, I don't know, at 10 years old, 11 years old, to start teaching him about money. He would go to my wealth strategist meetings with me. We'd have conversations around money. And it's like. But I was raised in a house that you don't do that. It's impolite. Don't ask about salary. Now, he didn't know all the numbers, but he started to understand the thinking. He felt valued, he felt part of it. And then the other thing that came up for me is that I was a single full time dad. And I traveled and I spoke and I still travel and speak.

But I knew for him, because of the picture, he needed some level of consistency and some level of understanding. And so we ended up creating a calendar. And the red zones in the calendar were immovable and his. And he knew it. And so he always knew, and he always knew that he was a priority. And if he needed something there's nothing on the calendar that wouldn't get canceled. And yet I think that there's a lot of times there where we. It's easy for us as entrepreneurs to use the business as an excuse to use the honey, I can't come home. I'm going to work late tonight.

And you take for granted that they'll just be there.

Yeah, you're totally right. It's so easy to meet. There are two reasons it's been easy for me to fall into this trap. The first is when I pour into my business, I can control it. I can turn the dial, and I can experience and witness the fruits of my labor. When you've got three toddlers, you can pour in till the cows come home and there can be no fruit. You're like, where's the fruit? I'm pouring in. And these kids are going in three different directions. And it's hard. I can't control it all the time, and it's not my sweet spot like being a mother is. But.

Influencing these kids that just are going in all different directions, it's a lot harder. So that's the first thing. And the second thing is I know they'll be there at the end of the day, like you said. So, all right, I can have one more really, you know, busy month, right? Like, they're still, you know, they're kids. They're still going to be there. They forgive me. They're always really just loving and forgiving of me, not showing up the way that I should. They're not going to hold it against me. And I do that. But then one month turns into two, turns into three, turns into four years, five years, and you're years down the road, and you realize, man, I was there, but I wasn't really there. And what was it really for? Because if you. I guarantee this is something really powerful that we're going to be doing it. We're hosting an event this summer. It's called Camp Luminary. It's the very first camp for entrepreneurs and the leaders they're raising. It's for entrepreneurial families to come together to this camp. And we are going to have some tough conversations, both facilitating what the parents hearing, what the kids really think and feel, and the kids hearing from the parents why they do what they do and why they're an integral part of it. But one of the things I can guarantee when we do this at this event and we ask the kids, would you rather live in that beautiful beach home someday? Because mom and dad are working so Hard to get you there? Or would you rather, you know, have be in that private school that they're fighting so hard to keep you in? Or would you rather something else and just open the floor to, like, what the kid really wants from their parents? It has nothing to do with things. It has nothing to do with things. It has everything to do with their connection and time and attention and care and love. And I know your listeners, I'm sure they give those things to their kids. But sometimes we put too much energy into someday, what we're building for someday, forgetting that 99.99% of it is the journey with the people we love and that we will look back on. Legacy is such a big thing for me coming from a multi generation, tight knit, multigenerational family. My mom was first generation, my dad was first generation. So we have those, like, deep roots and culture. And when people ask me about me, I don't think to say, like, oh, I'm Liz. I do this, this, and this. I think, oh, I'm the daughter of. And I explain, like, where we come from, like those roots. That's how we were raised, with those roots. And I think sometimes we lose that now because of how we compartmentalize and we're all about ourselves and we disconnect from those roots of the family. And everybody's, even kids, they're in their own lane. They're on their track to college, and this one's on their track to play professional sports. And this one's, you know, instead of coming together as a family and saying, all right, do we have a vision together? Are we honoring our values in pursuit of that vision? Are we aligning with our priorities in this season. Season as we pursue the vision? And I think it would make all the difference in how we feel like if we. How many people do you know, Mel, that are busting their butt? And by metric standards, they are uber successful, but they don't feel like it. Something is still missing. They're setting yet another goal, thinking that, oh, it must be the next financial benchmark, that I'll finally feel successful. That's not what's missing. They're missing what. What's missing is literally right under their nose. It's that connection and that integration that would change everything for them.

It's so, so true. I got an associate, I wouldn't even call him a good friend because of his values, but.

He'S very wealthy. Like probably close to half a billion dollars wealthy. Five airplanes. Lord knows why you need five.

There is no passion in the man, unless he's on a conquest and his health sucks, his relationship, marriage is falling apart, his relationship with kids is non existent. His team works there because he pays them well. And I just know, to me, if I'm going to be an entrepreneur, the idea of creating wealth, the idea of. Of having money, is.

An outward idea. Not from a show standpoint, but from a generosity standpoint. Yes, it's to allow me to give more of myself by choice.

And yeah, I can write a check too, but I can have the option to give of myself. The option to say, you know what?

In this season, I'm going to spend a lot of time here with you. I'm going to walk with you. And that's the real reason we need the money. We don't need the money for the money's sake. We need the money to make sure we have the moments. But if we absolutely scrap the moments on the journey to the money, we can never get the moments back.

That's it.

I hope. I hope people start to understand and start to look at it through those eyes. I'm curious.

You started this transition in your business and your family and everything. How did that change.

The success in your business, the profitability in your business and your life at home?

You want to know what my fear was when we kind of had that come to Jesus moment of the this is not sustainable. My thought was, I'm gonna have to take my foot off the gas to make this work. Like, I'm gonna lose what I built. And I take a lot of pride. I love what I do. Like, it is such a piece of who I am. And you know what happened the year that we made this decision? I had in my mind, all right, well, maybe we'll have a profit dip, or maybe we'll have to downsize, or maybe this farm isn't gonna work out or whatever. I had all these thoughts. It was our most profitable year with the most piece aligned with it. And I'm one of those people, like, I'm a true three on the Enneagram. I like to produce. I like to fight for what I'm building. I like to be challenged. I'm like, great. Every time we run into challenges, like, weekly, and my team, I probably drive them nuts because I'm like, all right, let's go. Here it is, like, what's breaking this week that we get to rise to and figure out? Um, so I crave peace, right? I'm like, oh, I just want more peace and contentment. But then, like, if I were being Totally honest. I'd be like, but if it has to come at the sacrifice of, like, ambition and success, I probably don't really want the piece. I want it only if I can still move the needle. So when we got to that place where I was like, man, I'm gonna have to slow down.

It was like, the stars aligned is the best way I can describe it. All of a sudden, I became a different leader because I started leading in my home. I knew to lead my business because I teach leadership. I know the difference between management and leadership. But I decided to consciously start leading in my home. And that was the birth of so many of these programs we now have that are supporting entrepreneurs in raising leaders. Like, all these things came from saying yes to what was right for us and what was true for us. And I. I've been saying a lot lately. You know, sometimes we. We encounter things and they're really hard. Like, they truly are hard. It's a slog. Like, it's. It's tough stuff.

Yeah.

Um, but there's nothing wrong with hard. If you kind of elevate yourself up out of the weeds of what's hard for a minute and you look at why you're doing it and the mission, and that feels light. Like, it feels, like, bright and beautiful. And, you know, you just know in your soul it's for you. The problem is not hard. It's when it's heavy. So the difference. So, like, to me, the perfect equation is hard because that means you're being challenged and you're growing, and it's probably for you. And light, meaning it's not necessarily easy, but it's light. It's, like, beautiful when you think of it and, you know, you're called to it. The bad equation that a lot of us fall prey to or just kind of allow ourselves to step into is the equation of it's easy, but it's heavy. Like, when I worked in corporate, it was. I could do it in my sleep. It was easy, but it was so freaking heavy. I hated it. It was not for me.

So I think the more that we can pursue things that challenge us and that are hard, but they're light. That was what that transition was for me. It was really hard to shift how I operated in the day to day, but I knew in my heart it was the right thing. And my business blew up because I was aligned. I was doing what was right for me, and I was living in integrity with my values, and it was something that I hadn't been doing in a long Time.

Interesting. So, and I think that coming through what we've come through, this whole pandemic, shutting down this. It's caused us to re examine our lives, some of us and a lot of us. It certainly has caused us to question.

Our lives. But I think that there's still.

There's still some folks that are sitting back saying, yeah, I question it, but I don't have control of it. I don't have the ability to make the decisions. I argue that I actually don't believe that.

And maybe I'm idealistic, maybe my head's in the clouds, but there's plenty of examples of people who came from nothing, people who lost everything and were able to find something new and a new. And I'm hoping that through our conversations and your work, and I want to talk more about that, too, is that people find.

The angst inside of them, that yearning inside of them to say.

There is, there has to be a better way, but to also be willing.

To take the steps. Even though it's like, I think about it as, you know, you get a splinter and you don't get it out in time, and it's festering and it's painful and it's red and it's pussy and it's like, ah, you know, now I'm grossing everyone out, you know, and you got to dig it out. And the digging of it out is painful, but as soon as it's out, there's this immediate relief. And I can imagine. I know for me, once I figured it out with Jeremy, after the picture and everything, it was the same freeing feeling because I knew that I was doing the right things, the right way to make things happen. And, and I wasn't just chasing a metric and everything. So I'm hoping that it really sparks them. And this is. Now this. You mentioned an event and you're doing this event.

Coming up in a few weeks, basically. Okay.

And it is primarily to do this. To me, it's reunification of an entrepreneurial family and their dreams and their visions and their passions and what richness in life is meant to be.

Tell us a little bit more about this thing because.

When I heard about it, it's one of the other reasons I wanted to bring you on the show because I think this is such a. An important lesson for entrepreneurs to get, because if, if our sole why is chasing the mighty dollar, the mighty pound, the euro, whatever your currency is, it's an empty, empty journey.

Oh, you're so right. And it's the driver behind all that. We're doing right now, to me, I look at this more like a movement than, you know, yeah, we have a business, and that is true, and I love that business. But this event, it's a free virtual event that we're hosting and we're calling it a rally cry because to me, it feels more like a call to arms for people who will resonate with this message and feel in their bones what I've felt and what I know a lot of other people have felt, and they're ready to do something about it. Because the reality is, Mel, is there are plenty of webinars and different things out there. It's like three steps to do xyz. I can't make that promise. What I can say is I know what I didn't want anymore and I know what I'm ready to pursue. I'm done feeling split in two. I'm done making the very risky assumption that society or the school system is going to raise my kids up in leadership, because they're not. I'm done being enslaved to my business in a way that's not healthy. But I understand that people are done with that, too, but they don't know the how. So a big part of this rally cry is for those entrepreneurial parents out there who do feel spread thin. They feel so hurried. They're witnessing it being modeled by their children. Maybe their kids are just as addicted to a device as we are as entrepreneurs having to do our job, but it's under the guise of being for our family. So it's okay. And we want to bring home the truth that successful entrepreneurial parents can grow their dream businesses and build a legacy while raising happy, thriving kids. And you don't have to do it leading two separate lives. In fact, we're going to walk you through a process, what we call going from a spread thinner, a split into entrepreneur to a founder family. It's no longer just you on this mission over here in your own lane, and then you got your family over here and you switch hats when you jump between two worlds and you constantly feel like you're dropping the ball in both, you are now going to integrate with your family. They're going to become a part of this mission. Even if, again, I don't want to misspeak and make it sound like, oh, I'm teaching you how to teach your kids how to work in your business. That's not what this is about. But a founder family is a family that has chosen to come together to eliminate the hurry and to really.

Build the structure within their business that allows for more freedom and more moments and riches, as you say, while also having the tools and the resources and the conversations and the support to raise their kids up in the entrepreneurial spirit and raise their kids up to be thoughtful and innovative leaders, People who are willing to kind of break the mold in a society that tells us just to shut up and get in line and get bees across the board and everything and don't pursue your passions. And we want to really break the mold on that. And that stems a lot from my upbringing. I was blessed to be raised by two entrepreneurs. My mom's still in business today. My dad just retired in his mid-70s. And my grandparents, both entrepreneurs, and my aunts and uncles. And as a kid, I didn't think anything of it. But in retrospect, I have such a respect for the fact that I grew up very differently than my peers. Yeah, being a small business family is not the same. You. It is. You take a risk. You break the mold, you break the rules. You pursue your heart. You integrate your, hopefully your strong, good values into your business to make your impact in the world. That's a completely different life. And I had that. And now I realize how much my parents did a beautiful job. There was no separation between. They didn't keep the business in a bubble over here. We were a part. Like, I remember being four or five years old after kindergarten, when my friends would get to go play and I'd be going to the office with my mom, sitting around the conference table as she was taking calls and working with her clients as I'm coloring and doing work for her. But that's where I learned about integrity. That's where I saw my mom take a client who is down and out and be so generous and take them literally into her arms and comfort them through a tough time. I just witnessed so much goodness that we're robbing our kids of because we're especially online entreprene. Cause we're like, oh, hide in your office and keep the business hours. And because our business is online, it's hard for our kids to process what we even do. They think we just, like, work on a computer or something. So we really want to breathe life into one of the greatest tools you have in your back pocket to raise your kids as leaders and independent thinkers is your business. So how do you do that? This rally cry is something that we want to support these entrepreneurs in and their kids and help them get to that place where they're achieving true freedom and fulfillment in business while Bringing that same level of intention into their home or transforming from that entrepreneurial parent feeling like they're going in two different directions all the time to becoming wildly successful in both of those worlds and eliminating the guilt. We feel the guilt all the time. When we're working, we feel guilty. We should be with the kids. When we're with the kids, we feel stressed, we should be working. The comparison, the overwhelm that, by the way, our kids are starting to model because now they see us comparing and now they're starting to compare. And they have the disadvantage of having social media at their fingertips when they're freaking 10 years old, their lives are going to be that much harder. And really cultivating a framework and resources to help them raise successful kids. And successful by the metrics that matter. Not the metrics that the school system say matter, the metrics that their peers might say matter, but and helping us do it in a way that aligns with our already very full plates. Because the reality is, is we do run a business and we do have families and it's not like we're going to squeeze more hours out of the day. But that's not what it's about. It's about a different. It's a shift in the mind, it's a line in the sand moment. And this, this event is not going to speak to everybody but the people that it does. If there's any like, you know, on their heart, any pull to it, I have a feeling they're going to be our people and they're really going to understand how to unlock possibility and potential for themselves and their families.

Yeah, we'll make sure that we hook the links up in the show notes for everyone. And to me, if you're a parent, want to be a parent, we're a parent. It's not too late. I mean, get in there and check it out because here's what I know is that the impact we have on our children through this process.

Is setting the stage for their adulthood, for their parenting, for our descendants and our whole family tree.

Yep.

This isn't about just now and this isn't just about our family. You know, the statistics show that over 80%, and a lot of people don't realize this, but over 80% of millionaires are, are first generation millionaires. In other words, they made it themselves.

By the second generation, 70% have lost it all. And the reason for that, in my opinion.

Is that we are not transferring skills. We are not having real conversations. We are not doing the things that we need to do to allow our kids. My book, the Entrepreneur Solution, was written after my bike accident and after I asked myself the question, because I knew Jeremy was taken care of financially. He was totally fine, you know, but I came out of it, you know, the grade four concussion and everything. And I said, did I give him the skills to live a fulfilled life as an entrepreneur? And I didn't like the answer. So that book was originally written as a manual to Jeremy, and then we put it out as a book. And I think that it's an important thing for us to start to.

Think.

About moving forward is that if you're going to pour your heart and soul into a business.

It has to. It is not more important than the heart and soul that you need to pour into your family.

Yep.

And if we're sacrificing it along the way, it's. It's a challenge. It's a challenge. And I think that it's something that will haunt us as we continue to grow and get older. I remember. So Jeremy was 16. So he was 6 when he did that picture. 16 years old. And I don't usually tell this part of the story, but he was. He was at a football camp on Father's Day. Why in God's name they did a football camp on Father's Day, I don't know. But he sends me this image of. And a quote of a father and a son walking at sunset on the beach, holding hands. And it said, he never told me how to live my life. He lived his and allowed me to watch.

Got goosebumps. Yeah.

And I go, wow, that's a different picture. And I think that if all of us made our greatest success.

Our children, and we did all right while we're here, because I think we'll make the right choices, the right decisions.

There's no room for greed. There's no room for selfishness. There's no room for just I, I, I. It's a different game that we play. And I think you're spearheading a movement, like you said.

That is.

Direly needed in our society today.

We're starved for leadership. We're starved for.

A different paradigm. We're starved for bringing that family back into a place where we are building something that is sustainable. I love the saying of, we're not leaving our world behind for our children. We borrowed it from our children, and we need to make sure that we give it back to them with interest.

So true. It's so true. And it's. You know, you talk about this idea, it strikes me so much hearing that statistic about, you know, 80% of millionaires are self made and 70% of that is lost with the next generation from that, those millions. And it's to me, I think of, you know, I've had three babies, so I've gone through the nine month gestation period. And there's a reason that it's nine months. You know what I mean? Like, we all want to skip ahead in our lives. We want to get like plucked up today. Hey, I have these big goals. I have this big vision. I just want to get picked. Why haven't I had it happen yet? It hasn't happened yet because you haven't become the person necessary in order to sustain the thing that you are craving in order to achieve it, sustain it and really pass it on to whatever is next. The same way in a pregnancy, you know, God forbid, if you deliver too early, there are problems, but that baby is going to suffer the consequences of that because it didn't go through the full gestation period. And when I think about that impact of that next generation is are we working so hard to build these businesses to make money, to buy things that they can have, or money they can have, or opportunities they can have, go to the school, whatever, but we aren't making the space and margin to raise them up into the leaders they need to be to actually receive it and sustain it.

Yeah, it's so, so true. My dad has been gone 11 years next month.

Actually 12 years next month. And I don't yearn for the stuff that he gave us.

I yearn to hear his voice.

And I, I think that that's, that's the thing we start to realize when we realize that what we're really here to do.

And when we, we then appreciate those moments in time.

That we get to create, they're not just happening to us, but we get to create them. And as entrepreneurs, I think we have the ability to create them. Oh man. Every step of the way and by our own design, by our own choosing, by our own intent, as you put it.

Yeah.

And this, this is such a gift that you're bringing to entrepreneurship, to business, to wealth creation and to society. So.

I can't, I can't wait to be part of it. I can't wait to see the lives shift, the people shift, and the impact that you're going to have. Something tells me it's going to be an emotional time, it's going to be an empowering time.

But it's going to be a great one. So as we Start to wind up. Tell. Tell the audience, Tell them one more time. You know, it's called luminary leadership.

It's for entrepreneurial families. It's. What are the dates?

Yeah, so the. The rally cry call is going to be May 10th and 11th. We have an evening call on the 10th, I think it's 7 Central. And then we have a late morning call on the 11th, depending on where you're located. And it's going to be of May, so you have the opportunity to get your seat for that. It's a. It's a free opportunity to come and have this conversation. And I think people will walk away transformed and with some actual tactical things they can implement. And I know you'll link it, but it's going to be@luminaryleadershipco.com Mel and they can find their spot there. But yeah, that's going to be the 10th and the 11th, and we'll be sharing what we're doing about it. You know, I'm not shy to. To say that we've dedicated. We've shifted everything in business to dedicate our lives to this new venture, to support these families, because we think it's that important. Important. I think, I believe with my whole heart that small business and family are the heartbeat of. Of this country specifically, and a tremendous gift to other countries as well. And we want to do our part in supporting both. And we really believe that you can be wildly successful in both business and parenthood at the same time. But the truth is, is it's not even about being successful in both. It's just. It's just who you are. It's what you've been called to. So let's elevate you into who you need to be to have the tools and be equipped to do both incredibly well.

I love that, Liz. And then we could go all on a whole nother tangent on this for a moment, but I think we'll leave it there and maybe we'll have another conversation after. But I think that the reality is this is.

You're right. I mean, this is the heartbeat of our country and our world. And I think we need to get that heartbeat beating a little harder.

And a little more love and do it the right way. And I think there is no problem in the world, none that is insurmountable when it's put in the hands of entrepreneurs.

So especially those that are generous and caring like you. So are there other places that people can follow you? People can find you and find all the richness and the goodness that you bring to the world.

Well, thanks, Mel. I'm always twice a week over at the Luminary Leadership Podcast. So on Mondays we launch an episode specifically for luminaries, entrepreneurs looking to grow in leadership and scale their businesses and to pursue a lot of things we talked about today. And on Thursday days is our Raising Luminaries episode to support entrepreneurial parents in raising the next generation of leaders and entrepreneurs. So I'm always on there dropping as much value as I can, including having incredible guests like you on the show, Mel. And I'm also on Instagram at elizhartke E L I Z H A R T K E and I love chatting with people. Feel free to reach out and connect.

Awesome. We'll put all of that in the show notes so you'll have easy access to getting all the good stuff that you're bringing the world. I so appreciate you first as the shining star and soul that you are in the world. And I am so blessed to have.

Got to know you and get to meet you and get a chance to share this time with you. And thank you for doing this for my community and being part of the Affluent Entrepreneur Show.

My pleasure. And it's so mutual, Mel. I just feel really blessed that our paths have crossed the way they have and I have no doubt that it will bear a lot of fruit and friendship and I'm thankful for all of it.

Awesome. Thank you.

Thank you for listening to the Affluent Entrepreneur show with me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation you to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the Affluent Entrepreneur Facebook group now by going to melabraham.com group and I'll see you there.

And that's it for this episode of Building your Money Machine where we help you learn how to master your money, eliminate financial stress, and live a life of choice. If you found this valuable or helpful to you, here's what I'd love for you to do. If you do me a favor, go to Apple, Apple Podcast or wherever you're listening to this podcast and rate and review the show. It helps us tremendously to keep us at the top of the list so we can continue to get this information and this message out to people. Because I truly believe that financial freedom is your birthright and I want to help each and every one of you claim it. Thanks so much.