076 How Money Can Strengthen Your Marriage With Corinne Acampora

Hey there. Real quick, before we jump into the episode, listen, if your earnings treadmill hasn't set you free yet, running faster won't either. Listen, hustle without principles just going to burn you out. So here's what I want for you. I want you to join me for my money machine experience live. It is three free trainings. Deep dive into how to escape the treadmill and build a money machine that actually works for you. All right, grab your spot here by going to moneymachinelive.com and I'll see you in the free training. Hey, there. If you followed me for any length of time, you probably know that I say that your financial journey is a couple's journey if you're an intimate relationship, a marriage, or a committed relationship, and that it's important. And our guest today.

It was such a great conversation with her. She. She's been following the show and following me and doing some of the things and. And how she ended up as a guest on the show is she sent me this note and our conversation is all around this, and she said, hey, Mel, I just want to drop you a line to let you know that your podcast and show have really sparked a lot of conversation between my husband and me. Has been so good for us from not only a financial perspective, but a relationship perspective. We realized that we have two parallel success stories, but not fully integrated them. After being together for more than 20 years, we've decided to break down the silos and really be team players for each of us rather than rooting each other on from the sidelines. We both really love your take on family and entrepreneurship and money and how they need to work in harmony. Feels like after so long, we've had some sort of awakening. We even decided to go on a second honeymoon. Thank you, Corinne.

We ended up having.

Such an amazing conversation. This is an entrepreneur. He's got his own business. It wasn't without struggles. They have two children. How did they create the finances? What was it like to have those conversations? What was it like to start to build a life that's full of richness and realize the things that matter and how to make that happen? Listen, we can have the money, we can make the money, we can build the wealth, but it doesn't mean anything if we don't build the life. And our conversation today is about how we use the money and how we build the life. I hope you enjoy this episode because it was an incredible joy for me to make with a bright.

Amazing, shining soul. I hope you enjoy it. I'll see you in the episode Cheers. This is the affluent Entrepreneur show for entrepreneurs that want to operate at a high level and achieve financial liberation. I'm your host, Mel Abraham and I'll be sharing with you what it takes to create success beyond wealth so you can have a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle. In this show, you'll learn how business and money intersect so you can scale your business, scale your money and scale your life while creating a deeper impact than living with complete freedom. Because that's what it really means to be an affluent entrepreneur.

Hey there, Corrine. It's so good to have you on the show, man. This was such a cool thing to be able to get a chance to chat with you to, you know, and I, I told them in the, in the intro about the text you sent me. The, the, the direct message that you sent me because one, it, it warmed my heart.

Was really what everything that I'm doing is about is this whole idea of, of creating a more, a deeper relationship, a deeper experience of life, a richer experience of life. So, so. But you know, then you, you sent me your, your, your bio and your links and I go, oh my God, she's doing all kinds of stuff and things. So just for the sake of the audience, to understand who you are, where you come from, what your background is, could you, can you just kind of let them, let them know a little bit about you?

Sure. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. I honestly, when I got the text back, back from you, I like gasped out loud. I immediately showed my husband and was so, so thrilled and honored and really humbled to, to have this opportunity with you. I really admire the work that you do and have already grown so much because of this. Thank you for having me. Yeah. So a little bit about me. I, I live outside of Boston, Massachusetts.

I'm one of my favorite towns in the country.

It is a good one. When the weather's nice, it's fantastic.

And I am a mom of two. I have, we have a 10 year old son and we have a nine year old daughter who happens to be a type 1 diabetic. I've been known my husband for 21 years now and we are coming up on our 12th anniversary and that's really my heart and soul. My family is where it's at for me. I grew up right down the street from where I live now. My husband and I grew up just a few, you know, towns away from each other. Both grew up in very supportive, loving families. We met at the right time. It was the Stars aligned somehow. I was 18, he was 17.

We were like little spring, you know, chickens and. But we really met at a time that was just so incredible for both of us. It was senior year of high school. He took me to his prom. We went to different high school.

This is a fairy tale story.

I know, I know. Honestly, it really is. And I love talking about it, and I recognize that it's. It's unusual and. But I think what has helped us really get this far and still be totally smitten with each other is that we're honest, we're open with each other, we support each other, we have the difficult conversations. We don't push stuff under the rug, that kind of thing. And we both are strivers, you know, we strive to be the best at whatever it is that we're doing. And. Yeah. So for me, my career was not a straight line. When I went to college. I went to school for interior design, which is what I do now. But a couple years in, I said, absolutely not. I need to study abroad. And they weren't going to let me do it. So I switched everything and graduated with history and political science and was headed straight to law school to definitely not go to law school.

So, just so you know, I was heading straight to law school, too, and I never made it either, really. It was constructed on the road or something. I don't know.

Yeah, it really was just one of those things that seemed like a fantastic idea until I got to that crossroads and it was just like, nope, this is not it.

And so instead, I went to graduate school in New York City for art business, essentially.

That's almost abroad.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's almost abroad. But that was at a time. So I worked at Christie's auction house. I got my master's degree there and then worked there for a hot second until everything fell apart with the, you know, it was 2008, 9. Yeah, I remember when the Lehman Brothers fell, and it was.

They call it the Great Recession, but I'm still trying to figure out what was great about it.

Yeah, nothing, except it put me on a different path. So that was good. I found the silver lining. But. But Brian, my husband, was with me and supporting me the entire time in terms of kind of figuring out my next step. He ended up going to business school.

In Ithaca, Cornell, and I almost didn't go with him. So this was now 2010, got married in New York City, and I said, I have this job. I went. Actually, you know, this was after the whole. All the turmoil with the Market and everything. I went back to work for a law firm as a paralegal because I just needed a job and needed to pay the bills and now all of this graduate school debt that I had. And he went up to business school and we had just gotten married in New York. Like, I don't know what the heck I'm going to do in Ithaca. What am I going to do there? I need to make money. But ultimately I decided to really just follow my heart at that moment. I really wanted to be with him and I wanted to get back to kind of my passion of interior design. And so I went up and it was the coolest story ever. So we went up to Ithaca looking for a place to live. We were, we had no money. I mean, he, you know, we were like young, whatever. And we get up there, we're looking for like a studio apartment or something. Nothing. Absolutely could not find a darn thing. And we found this like antique Victorian home with the fourth rent sign out front. We're like, ah, well, we like real estate. This is not for us, but let's go check it out. Maybe it's an apartment within the building we got there. Nope, it's a whole seven bedroom home. It turns out that the people that owned it were also Cornell. They were Cornell professors, actually. They just bought it. They wanted to renovate it and then move into it. They lived right across the street. We struck up a deal with them. I said, brian, and I said, okay, I'm going to leave New York. I want to get back into interior design and start my own business. Let me renovate this thing while I live in it. And we take my time, whatever time I put into it, off of our rent. That's how we did it. So we moved.

We moved into this ridiculous house that we. And you know what it was, it was such a labor of love. I started my portfolio, then I started my, my business started. Then I got other clients, clients in Ithaca, interior design clients because of it. And it really actually kick started my career. So this is back in 2010.

This is so beautiful because I think that we're at an inflection point and we're not through it yet. We have the uncertainty in the economy. We've got, there's, you know, some layoffs that have already started. We've got interest rates going up, we've got inflation.

People.

And people are looking at their life. The one thing they don't, a lot of people don't realize is during these times is the greatest time of the number of Millionaires that are made one.

Yeah.

But also businesses are born, you know.

Yeah.

FedEx. I mean I can go through a whole bunch of them, get born in these times. And what, what happens is we have to think about our life differently. And you going there and saying, have I got a deal for you. I got some skills, I have some talents, I have some things that can serve your need and you have some space that will fill our need. Have a deal. And that, that kind of thinking is what's going to get people just like it did you to move to that next stage. And, and it's just looking at it saying, well, what if I just threw the rules, if you will, or the expectations out the window and said, what if I want to? What would work for me now? How do I make this happen? So I love that you did that.

So cool. I mean it was a risk, you know, but it was like the foundation was there with Brian. He, I knew he was going to support me. He got a scholarship to go to school and, and he had two years of he owed back to his company. After that we were solid, we were stable. You know, that, like that, that part was just there and, and so.

But, but you know, it wasn't an obvious decision right away. I struggled with it a lot actually before going up there and then when, but once we made that decision and I, and I was like, no, this is ridiculous. We got married two weeks ago. You're going to leave and I'm going to be in New York with this job that I don't even want, that I'm like, no, I'm not going to pursue this law, you know, so. And it was the best decision I think I, and we have, have made, you know, at least for my career. And honestly our, our, our trajectory as a couple in so many ways. So we get there, you know, it's the two weeks after or the, I took a couple weeks after off after our wedding went up there. We postponed our honeymoon into spring break.

I was gonna say. So you didn't say that you spent your honeymoon in a seven bedroom mansion?

Yeah, it was, it was, it was like stripping wallpaper and painting. I, you know, I was doing what I wanted to. But you know what? It didn't even matter. I was there and I was actually doing something that was like, it felt really good. It was like, okay, this is a new path forward. I don't know exactly where it's going to lead, but it feels right. You know, it was like, it was really, it was great. So. But by that point, we had already been together for 10 years. Yeah. You know, so we are nine years or whatever. So along comes our son. I was pregnant on our honeymoon when we went down to Puerto Rico for spring break. So, you know, we go to this beautiful place that we went completely on points because, again, we had no business being there. But because he was in consulting, he had like a million points that he was hoarding for that reason. We're at this beautiful place, and all I want is like, you know.

Grilled cheese sandwiches and, like, kid food because I'm nauseous.

So that.

You certainly weren't taking the pina coladas in either.

No, I certainly wasn't. I was, like, sleeping half the time. So. But before then, we got it. We got a puppy. We got. We. We found out we were pregnant, and then we were like, we. But we need to get another dog because why wouldn't we have one to take care of the other one now that we're going to have a child? So. So here. So. But this is. But this is how we roll for so long is that. It is like hard charging. This is what we're doing.

And I'm curious about this, but it's. It's not one or the other. You're both in this together, right?

Oh, yeah.

You just both said, let's do it.

Yeah.

I. I hope that. That our viewers and listeners can. Can glean. I think one of the most important lessons, which is one of the things that we try to deal with with the affluent entrepreneur, is that it's less about the money and more about the experiences and the feelings and.

The living, the richness that life has to offer. And that came out of you sitting back and going, I can make a financial decision, stay at a law firm away from my husband of two weeks.

You know, yeah, yeah.

Or I follow my heart. I'm with the man I love, and we build a life together. And if that happens to be in a house that's falling apart, that we got to rebuild, if that happens to be on points in Puerto Rico, so be it.

And yet there's some of the richest times of your life today.

Oh, my gosh, 100%. We look back at that time again, we had no. We had no business to be. You know, we did and we didn't, but we, you know, we were so happy. So, so happy, you know, and.

Life got very real, though. We had our son. It was second year of business school. Luckily, he front Brian front loaded all of his classes, and he knew that he had this Job coming out. We would not have done it had he not had a job locked up two years after that, because my stuff was still pretty uncertain. You know, it was something in terms of my career and. Or me him having a career and me having a career. That was always a discussion that we had had, you know, probably since we met. That was always the plan. But life got really real when our son came along. And all of a sudden we found ourselves in a completely different mindset.

You know, fairly young and right out of the gate, you know, even though we had been together for so long, that was a real jolt. And I wouldn't do it any other way. You know, I wouldn't. But I think what I would say is that, you know, once he graduated, he was on a straight and narrow path to partner at his consulting firm. He ended up switching a few times, but he made partner last year, which is wonderful and incredible, incredible feat. And it was really, you know, it was challenging like it is for. For everybody. And I'm so grateful for it and so is he. It set us up really, really well, you know, but, you know, it comes at a cost sometimes. And. And I. And so when we move. He graduated, we moved back to the Boston area because we knew he was going to be traveling four days a week doing what he was doing. We quickly then decided to have another child, and we did that on purpose because, you know, a lot of it had to do with me being a career and build something of my own as well. And so we. While it seemed like we were just, you know, stacking up the responsibilities, you know, emotional responsibilities and, you know, financial responsibilities and all of these things, it really was part of the plan. And again, I wouldn't do it any other way. It came from a place of love and it came from a place of support for each other, but it did, you know, it added a lot of pressure. And so three weeks after our daughter. Sorry, three months after our daughter was born, I had been working full time for another interior design firm. Brian and I talked about it a ton. I resigned and I incorporated from a little baby IKEA table in my living room, incorporated and said, you know what? No, I want the flexibility for our family, of my own business and our own business, and followed my heart there again, too. And it's. It was another incredible decision that we made together and that served us really well. Major struggle.

So.

So you. You went out on your own. So now you've got a successful.

Interior design business and he's got his own successful career. Yes, that you know, two beautiful children.

Yes.

That you're going into the teenage years soon, so good luck.

We sure are. Yeah. Yeah. We're, as our. Our kids sometimes refer to each other as sassy twins.

There you go.

And they are. They're sassy, both of them.

Yeah.

Well, they don't get.

From mom and dad, I'm guessing.

Yeah.

So here's. Here's I'd love to see. I just kind of. Because you. You mentioned something in that text that y' all were rooting each other on from the sidelines.

Yeah.

And.

Versus.

Being on the field with each other.

Totally.

Tell me a little bit about that, what you meant by that, and how you kind of came together. I mean, we. You. I know I forced you. I didn't force you to have conversations. I suggested you to have conversations about money and that kind of thing.

Yeah, no, no. You know, it's. You know, when I tell my story, I love telling my story because it. It really is one of love and. And happiness for the most part, but it really was. Is not without. It struggles like anybody for sure. And I think that.

So once we moved to Massachusetts and again, you know, Brian, I think, had this, like, very intense feeling like he needed to go like hard charging and like this was his, like, straight and narrow path to success and financial stability and freedom for our family. And I have the utmost respect for that. For me, my. Why in building my business has a lot to do with my mom. Has a lot. I mean, has everything to do with our kids and showing them that they can do whatever they want to do and achieve whatever they want to achieve, but not. But. And I guess in. In the process of us kind of both on these really intense.

I guess that's probably the best word for it. Paths with a whole lot of passion behind them.

And two kids, one with, you know, a condition that we manage every five minutes. There is no break with managing type 1 diabetes ever. You know, and three dogs. We got another dog.

You know, we've got a lot of stuff going on and so oftentimes we feel like ships passing in the night. And, you know, I was always, you know, supportive of him working late nights because I knew that that was for the betterment of our family and. And, you know, a goal that he wanted and he would do the same for me. And I would stay up, I'd, you know, be all over creation and my clients homes and whatever, but by the time we would get home and put the kids to bed, then eat dinner ourselves, you know, when the kids were Smaller. It would be like 9:30 or 10 o'. Clock. I would basically pass out because I was so exhausted from the day. And he would dive back into his computer until probably like one or two in the morning for years. And that is not really a great way to live. You know, it created those kinds of silos because there was no time to connect.

And you were driven, you were driven by a why. But underneath that was this desire to, to create a financial foundation.

Yes.

Which, which was, was driving that, I'm sure.

Oh, for sure, for sure. I mean, and again, you know, we came, we both came from very loving, supportive families that gave us, you know, everything that we needed emotionally and supported us financially.

You know, and we're both so, so grateful for that. There's a lot of pressure when you come out of business school and me out of grad school to pay. You know, we each paid for, I mean, he was, you know, fortunate to get a scholarship for his graduate school. But, you know, I have grad. I still have grad school loans that I'm, that I'm paying.

You're still, you still paying off student.

Loans for graduate school? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and you know, so, yes, a lot of this was to just provide the stability and the security that, and you say it all the time, that we'll live longer than we do.

Yeah.

You know, and, and building that generational wealth is really top of mind for us and something that we were not skilled at. Even though, you know, if you went to a top notch business school school, and even though, you know, we have, you know, have had access to these things, like, it wasn't something that we grew up with necessarily as kind of ingrained in like us, you know, as kids. And so with, with our kids, they, you know, like I said, They're 9 and 10. They're in the investment club at school, not because we told them they needed to be, but because they're interested in it. You know, it's so awesome. We, we have, we have ACORNS accounts for them.

Yeah.

And so our son is a, he's a total sneaker head and he loves all kinds of basketball shoes. Like, that's just. He, it's so funny. We, I love it about him. And he, he earns money. He'll like detail cars or he'll, you know, he works for it. He earns money. But I, you know, our thing is, okay, like, if you're gonna go buy an expensive pair of shoes that you really don't need, you have to give back some of It. And you need to invest some of it. So.

So you're actually having these conversations.

Yes, with our nine and ten year olds.

I, I hope, I hope that the listeners and viewers. Because, because in fact, I'm going to be doing an interview with my son.

Oh, cool. Jeremy, right? Yeah, I heard you talk about him.

Because we start having those conversations at the same age that you're having.

Well, but I'm having them with my kids because you shared that about your.

Oh, good. That's good to know.

Not. That's not me blowing smoke. That is actually real. This is, this is why your, your show has been so influential for our family. Because it really had a lot to do with that. Like. Oh, that. I never thought about that. They're so little, you know, but they're, they're incredibly smart little kids and they can grasp this idea.

So good to hear. Because you're giving them a gift. Are you?

If we give them the tools to understand how money works, they'll. They'll work hard for, for all of it. They'll appreciate if we do it right, for all of it. But they won't. But they will set themselves up for life. I mean, right now, look at.

Well, it was Tammy.

It's, it's. I. They don't need anything from me. They've got it dialed in.

That's like. Well, and you said another thing on one of your podcasts. Gosh, what I'm going to. I'll paraphrase. You'll know what I'm talking about. But you know, with entrepreneurs that are first generational. First generation millionaires.

Yes.

Right. Then, like, the next generation loses it. Like there's some crazy percentage. And like, Brian and I are working our tails off to set our kids up for success. Success. And, and we really are striving for that generational wealth for them to be set up. So we really need to teach them now.

And Green, here's the thing. So that part of that came out of. I had a family. Two. Two. Two sons. Two. Two boys that came to me after their mom passed away. And they were worth $5 million when mom passed away. And so they said, we don't know what to do. What do we do with this? But as I, as I started to go through it with them, I find out that their dad passed away five years earlier. Oh, so they lost their dad five years earlier. And when their dad passed away, they were actually worth $180 million. They lost $175 million in five years. If you take $180 million and put it out at 5%. That's $800,000 a month without ever touching 180 note.

Yeah.

You have to try really hard.

Yeah.

And like, and like Jeremy, when I was saying something to him, he said, why? How did that happen? I said, yeah, because as a society, often we are so caught up in acquiring, accomplishing, achieving, collecting, and then transferring the assets. We never were. We never think about how to transfer the skill sets.

Right.

And. And so we never. I anyone that we work with. I said, we never transfer assets to the children without transferring skill sets first.

I love that. I love that.

Because you can take 180 million and make it 5. Now, 5 isn't bad, but not 180 that they could have done right was lost because dad did a great job of acquiring, achieving, and accomplishing, but a horrible job at transferring the knowledge, the skills to his wife, to his children. And they got bad advice and it's a mess. But that's the thing. That's why for you, you're giving such a gift, a gift of independence, a gift of, of freedom for your. Your children by having these conversations, being open about it, and, and having them also understand that there's earnings, there's investing and there's giving. There's. There's graciousness, there's gratitude, there's generosity that.

Comes from it, for sure. That's a big. That's a big part of all of that for us is that because our daughter is a diabetic, we're really, really involved with the Juvenile Diabetes Research foundation and the Joslin Diabetes center, and we brought them to the gala with us. Black tie affair, you know, very. And Brian's company sponsored a table, and he was there with all of his partners, and there were our kids sitting right there next to us. And that was incredibly important for us to show them that that is just. I mean, because I'm like waterworks the whole time. I'm crying because they have the presentations and the. And all of this stuff, and they see that too, and they see everybody, you know, in the room, whether or not they know somebody with diabetes or they have it themselves, just really giving back is a huge aspect for us as well. Because, you know, you're. And you say it all the time is, Is building a rich life and, and the richness comes from gratitude.

In.

In my opinion.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's. It's gratitude is contentment. It's appreciating what we have.

You know. Yeah, We. We're gonna go through rough Times. That's just the way life is. Yeah, but how we.

Oh, absolutely.

So.

But what I was going to say, though, is that, you know, we're here now, but there's still stuff that we need to work on with. With, you know, Brian and I, in terms of breaking down the silos, because we still are hard charging in terms of our businesses. And it came to a head, actually, right around the time it was like the universe spoke. I heard your podcast. It was like all of this stuff actually really happened at the same time. And Mother's Day happened. And it was. It was the, you know, first Sunday in May or whatever, and I needed to get all my invoices out, and I was.

That was like, literally the only time I had to do it was that Sunday. And I was sitting right where I'm sitting right now. This. I'm in my office right now. And Brian was with the kids for most of the day while I was working here. And I was so grateful. And this is another point that you made, too, was about harmony and how it's not balance, but it's harmony. And up until then, I had always kind of thought about it in terms of balance, and there's this, like, push and pull. And even that day, it was just like, oh, my gosh, there's so much guilt that I have because I'm not with my kids. Kids on Mother's Day. Like, this is the opposite of why I started my business. The opposite. But I'm so grateful to have these incredible clients and this incredible team of women that work with me, you know, to be able to do this. I'm so privileged, and I know that. And I. I have so much gratitude for everything that I have, but it really made me step back and take a look together, you know, in me, myself, but also with my husband. About, like. Like what. To what end are we doing this?

Yeah.

You know, and. And so we decided. We decided to go on another honeymoon.

I love. I just love that part that you decided this time you get a chance to drink.

Yeah, exactly.

And no grilled cheese sandwiches.

No, no. Yeah. We can actually go to the nice restaurant.

I know. I don't know where we're going to go yet, but it was funny. But, though. Because we've talked about it a lot, and we're like, I don't know. I don't know. We haven't done this for ourselves in years. We've not gone away together solo, just the two of us. And I don't even know how long. I don't Even know how long.

What was the catalyst that got you to. To get. I know that Mother's Day happened, but what was. Because you guys had. Obviously there had to be a conversation, and it probably revolved around your career and money and. And all that stuff. What happened?

I mean, it was just like.

What. I mean, that day truly was so, so hard for me. And what really was the hardest part was that my kids. Our kids saw me.

Like, in this. In this place of kind of angst.

Yeah.

But that I created, you know, and it's like, that's not the point that will deter them from doing something like this. That's not the. That's not the role model that I want to be for them. You know, there needs to be more harmony in terms of all of the different aspects of our life rather than, you know, just, you know, and it was. It was completely out of. Very, very much weighted towards my business. And my business will always be a very important part of everything, for sure. And I love it so much and so grateful for it. But. But something like, have to give a little bit, you know, and it's like, Covid was tough. I built my business, like, I doubled it during COVID while everybody was kind of, like, sorting things out, taking a little bit of a, you know, a breather a little bit, or everybody kind of got to slow down a little bit and reassess is probably a better way of saying it. The interior design business, at least where I am, exploded because everyone is in their house. They had more disposable income in a lot of ways, at least the clients that I work with. And so my business, like I said, almost doubled. I hired a lot of people, but now it's kind of all shaking out a little differently, and it's kind of settling down, and it's feeling better now that it's settling down. And I feel like it's at a place where it's not drinking from a fire hose.

Which, again, is a difficult thing to say. So grateful for it, and I feel so privileged for all of those opportunities. But it doesn't come with. Without an expense.

No, no.

Well.

And I think that being able to recognize that is important, you know, and. And so the way you and Brian and your family. It sounds like the way you guys now look at money, the use of money.

As a tool has shifted.

Yeah, it has. It definitely has. And it's always going to be important. And I think that's the giving back part, too, is that you feel, you know, your money can, I think, the Reason. Part of. Part of the reason why we, you know, we really do want to.

Make a nice amount of money is that we can give back. You know, we can feel like we can be more impactful.

Yeah.

And that's really the driving force. And I think that will always be the driving force. But. But to find that kind of harmony is. Is really, really important. And to be intentional and present and not like, you know, at dinner with your kids, but thinking about other things like that is not the goal. No, I.

And I'm guilty of it too. Sometimes where I got the phone next to me, you know, and everything, I go, I gotta stop. I'm at dinner with my wife. I gotta play. I gotta. I gotta. This. Because this moment is precious.

Yeah.

And it's the moments that really, truly matter. We. The only reason we need.

We.

We want the money is because we want to be able to buy the moments back in our life.

Absolutely. And something so Covid hit right. March 17 was when everything shut down for us. Anyway. Brian's mom was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of February. She died on March 31st.

Of 2020. And so it was one of those moments that just.

Was like, earth shattering because it's exactly what you said, you know, it's like, to what end are we doing what we're doing? You know what I mean? It's like when really what matters is right in front of us, you know? And you don't get that.

It's. I know for me, the cancer brought in clear focus, clearer focus. The idea of you actually are. Our days are numbered, probably. It's a big number, right?

Yeah. Right.

It is finite.

But you. Yeah. You don't get it back. Yeah. And that was a real big, like, you know, tectonic shift, I think, in terms of how we were thinking about a lot of things.

So as a family or as a couple even, do you have regular conversations around. Around your vision, your money, your. And all that stuff now? It's changed.

Yeah, it has changed. It's changed a lot because Brian's so busy with his work and he. Because he's respectful of mine and me building this thing here. There was kind of a separation to some extent. Like I said, there were these kinds of silos. But because. And also because my business, it really grew so much so quickly. We had like a groundbreaking year last year. I wasn't fully prepared, you know, and so. But. But after these kinds of conversations happening, I hired a fractional cfo. It's been life changing. And now the conversations. The conversations that Brian and I can have are based in so much more, you know, detail, and the analytics we can run are really incredible. But it's, it's really, you know, it kind of all started snowballing into this, like, kind of healthier relationship with money and growth and success and like, what that all means because of these things that have transpired. You.

You all had. It sounds like a very close and open relationship to begin, but yes. Was it challenging? Because I know that some couples go, you know, I don't know about opening up this conversation with my. My husband, my wife.

How. How was that? And, and if we're talking to another couple thinking about that, what would. What would you tell them?

I mean, we have been. I mean, I think this is why our, our relationship has been so close and so tightly knit for so long is. Is the communication aspect of it. But of all of the kind of buckets of things that we talk about, finances were probably, you know, there was like, nothing in the bucket. You know, we did not really talk about it that much. And I think it's because we were on these, like, separate paths and we had so much going on in our professional lives and our personal lives as well. And just like, it was like we almost just couldn't find. Find the time and the time to talk about one of the most important things. Like, it doesn't run itself. You have to take it by the reins and like, direct it, you know, and that's been an evolution for us for sure. But I would say to other couples, dive in there and really talk about it, because the sooner you can figure out systems that work for you, you know, and get hooked up with, you know, maybe a financial planner or someone that you really can. You respect and trust and both of you can relate to. You know, that's been really great for us to kind of open up those conversations because it's one of those things that if. And we. This is speaking from experience. If you don't talk about not going to, like, get any better.

It'S actually going to go the other way, you know, because if there's misconception, communication or lack of communication about any of it and you're not fully aligned on. On it, then there's a. A lot of room for error. And it can lead you in a way that's. That's just not where you want to go.

Here's. It's the.

It's.

The funny thing is that I was reading a statistic that it is money issues are the second leading cause of divorce. Behind infidelity.

Yeah.

And. And yet I think both of them can be solved with communication.

Yeah.

Conversations.

And agreed.

Being there with each other, as painful as it might be.

Totally. We always say, like, you know, or I always say. I say this to my team all the time. The. Anything, anything. The only thing worse than bad news is bad news late. You know, it's like, ain't that the truth? Right? So it's just like, have this difficult conversation. Got to just get it out. You know, if it means crying, cry, you know, whatever it might be, but just get it out and be on the same page so that you can come to a solution. And as an entrepreneur, you know, my mindset is always that there is a solution, no matter what. There's always a solution, you know, and that's kind of how we approach things.

No matter what any of us are going through, there are solutions out there. That doesn't mean they're easy.

No.

But it also doesn't mean that you need to do it siloed or in isolation or alone. There is support. There is help. The sooner, I think, and this is what I mean, the cancer is what got me on this journey to really go out and more speak on. On this side of the stuff, other than what other stuff that I speak and teach and consult on because he's such a huge need. And when your note came in, it was one of those moments for me that I said, I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing what I'm called to do. Because it was less about, hey, Mel, guess what? We made this investment, we made all this money, and it's great now. It was more about, hey, Mel, you helped us bring our relationship closer, our life better. And now I hear about your kids, and I'm going.

That, for me, is what this is all about. I talk about money, but. But it's. It's more than that.

Yeah. And everything that I've said is 100% true. I mean, that's just the truth. These. These kinds of podcast that you put out and. And, you know, they spark so much thought and so much introspection and. And reflection for us that it's really made a profound difference. And it definitely is. You know, like I was saying, we communicate a lot about a lot of things, my husband and I, but that was kind of the one that was lacking the most. And it's kind of, you know.

It'S almost like, solved, you know, and it's like, we're doing this. We're, like, on this journey together now. Where it just felt like, you know, well, I made my money and you made yours and we take care of the kids together and it's just like. But wait, hold on. We're so much more powerful together too. But besides that, you know, it's not about power, but we can do so much more with it together.

You're a force to be reckoned with and a force for good.

Yeah, completely. And, and having that communication and bridging that gap has made all the difference and it's actually fun. It went from being stressful to, to not being actually as stressful and being like, you know, there's like, I don't know, there's, you know, we've always had hope that we're doing the right thing and we're, you know, we're on the right path and stuff, but it's really put a lot of wind in our sails and terms of this stuff that there's like really no limit.

So.

Which, which feels nice, you know, and, and again, for, for good reason, you know, it's not about like. And you say it all the time, it's about the richness of life and that's what we want, you know, and, and, and that's what we're starting to get.

So cool. So cool. A couple more, couple more thoughts just before we close out because I, I know we've been going for a little bit, but I've had an experience lately watching my son and his wife navigate new parenthood with an almost one year old now, another one on the way.

Exciting.

And I just. God that the tears will well up just when I think about seeing them, how they are together, how they work together and how they're living a life. And you are now with a 9 year old and a 10 year old. You and Brian are getting a chance to watch them do things that some people never even think about, like the investment club and all. As you watch your children.

As they're doing some of these things, what's it like for you and Brian to sit back and go.

I think we're doing okay here.

Yeah. We just said that the other day about something we're like. Because we're like, we're strivers and we're achiever, you know, so we're hard, we can be hard on ourselves.

Yeah.

And stuff. And we've got it. We've learned over time to give ourselves grace and understand down there. You know, we are not by any stretch perfect and never will be, but we, we try our best and oh, we dropped Millie off at Camp for the first time ever. She's at a diabetes camp, and she's nine. And we were, like, so nervous about it, you know, I think she can probably, like, feel our nervousness, and she's a fairly anxious kid, too, so we're doing our best to kind of, like, keep it at bay as we dropped her off. But we got there, and, you know, in Millie fashion, she's got, like, you know, bright red heart, sunglasses on, and her hair is all up. And I think, you know, she's got these, like, rainbow earrings in and. And. But still feeling nervous. But then we watched her. We kind of stood back, we brought her up to her cabin, and she just, like, walked in and was like, I'm. I'm here. And, like, she just was with such, like, independence. And, you know, she had this giant squishmallow. If you don't know about these yet, you will as a grandfather.

Squishy, you know, stuffed animal type things. But she walked in with such, like, confidence, and she had this giant smile on her face. And, I mean, I immediately teared up and kind of tried to hide it from her, but then we were like, okay, Mel, it's time for us to go. And we gave her a nice, big hug and took some pictures with us. And then we just watched her, like, turn around and look, there were no tears on her part. She just walked right in, was like, all right, I'm here, you know, and I'm doing this. And it was just like, okay. Like, how the heck did that happen? But, you know, it's so hard as parents because you want to protect your kids so much. And, like, we have no idea what this experience is going to be like for her. Like, I pray to God we'll pick her up tomorrow. I don't. I. Hopefully it went well, but to see her kind of take on a new, really intense challenge with such grace, actually, and confidence was like, okay, all right, you got this. And she like, ultimately, that's what we want to instill is independence, right?

Yeah.

And it doesn't make it easy for mom and dad, but it doesn't in effectiveness.

My son's 32, and she and Cami's 30. Yeah. The protectiveness doesn't go away.

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm sure it doesn't. I'm sure it doesn't. Oh, and another thing happened. August is our son, and Millie is our daughter at their new school. This was recently. And Brian and I looked at each other. We're like, okay, something's working. There was a talent Show. Millie got up and sang a whole solo song on her own. She practiced it with her band teacher in front of like, I don't know, 200 people. Like, in August, our son got up and did stand up comedy.

No way.

And I was like, dude, this is so awesome. And all, like, the big kids are cheering from him, you know, for him from the back. And we're like, wow. Like, they're taking risks, like measured risk, but they're confident. They have this, like, you know, they have this sense of self that's damn cool. I'm inspired by it.

I, I gotta tell you, I, I always said.

If our greatest successes are our children and we do, right while we're here.

Yeah, yeah, totally. I, I completely agree. And you know, this is so good.

And, and I hope that the, the viewers and listeners get a chance to really listen to what's possible, what's, if, if we're intentional.

And willing to step out, have the conversations, have difficult conversations, if that's the case, to know that on the other side of those conversations is the harmony, is the richness, is the happiness and the contentment and, and allow the difficult times to bond us.

Yeah.

Versus separate us.

I love that. That's a great way of thinking about it. Absolutely. Because that's where the opportunity comes, actually. Yeah.

Yeah. It really is. I know that people ask me what, you know, what happened to my relationship with Stephanie during the cancer. And I said, we're closer than ever. I watched the woman I love step up and stand by my side and give me the grace that I needed to be graceful during a hard time.

That's incredible.

I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. That's amazing that, that now that gets me to want to work hard and do the things and provide and give her the world and the people I serve the world and the people. I love the world.

Because she helped me give, get the gift of life back again.

And so I think that's, that's all we can hope for. And you do it. And I so appreciate you being willing to reach out and send a note.

Going, I'm just, yeah, I was like, I don't know if I'm gonna hear back, but he just needs to, whether it's you or an assistant or anybody, if the message gets to you. I just really wanted that message to get to you. It was that impactful.

Well, it did get to me directly.

That's great.

I'm gonna reach out to her.

Yeah. That was really great.

Well, listen, I, I, I love your story, yours and Brian's story and your. Your spirit around life. And I think it's an example for all of us, no matter what we're going through, to. To find that experience and to live it. I appreciate you coming in and having the conversation, being open and. And honest with. If people want to kind of figure out where you are, what you're doing and all that stuff. Where. Where can we let them know?

Yeah. Oh, thank you. Well, I have an Instagram account that's a. Interiors. You can hook it up.

I'll hook it up in the show notes, too.

Awesome. I kind of a side project of mine, actually, as a podcast of my own called Brit by Design, and it came out of. Of all of this stuff. You know, when I really started diving into personal development, I just felt the need to. To serve more people. And I wanted people to have a platform, even though it's a very small platform at this point, maybe one day it'll be bigger, but to tell their story and to tell, you know, about their. Their success with their hardships and the things that they've faced. So it's Grit by Design podcast, and it's on all of the different outlets. So.

Awesome. Are you doing it weekly now or what?

What is it that is the goal, Mel? I am not. I am not quite there yet, but I have. I just started recording season two, as I'm calling it. Season one was about, I don't even know, eight, 10 episodes. And, you know, it's one of those things where it's kind of a passion project of mine where it is kind of in the background, and I would love to put more time into it because it brings me so much joy to get other people's stories out into the world.

So good, so good to hear. I'll make sure that it's hooked up. And just so you know, it doesn't matter how big the show or the podcast is, because we really just trying to reach that one that needs to hear the message and. Yeah, your soul shines through, and I'm sure it signs through on. On that. I'm gonna go subscribe to it now, so.

Oh, good. Maybe you'll be on it one day.

Let me know when and we'll make it happen.

Awesome. Thank you so, so much for having me. This has been really delightful.

Awesome.

I've gotten so much out of it. Thank you.

All right. Blessings to you and Brian and the kids, and thank you. Keep making it.

Thank you.

Anything I can do, let me know.

Thank you, Mel, so much.

Thank you for being a part of the Affluent Entrepreneur show with me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join the Affluent Entrepreneur facebook group@melabraham.com group and I'll see you there. Cheers. Bye.

And that's it for this episode of Building your money Machine where we help you learn how to master your money, eliminate financial stress and live a life of choice. If you found this valuable or helpful to you, here's what I'd love for you to do. If you do me a favor, go to Apple, Apple Podcast or wherever you're listening this podcast and rate and review the show. It helps us tremendously to keep us at the top of the list so we can continue to get this information and this message out to people because I truly believe that financial freedom is your birthright and I want to help each and every one of you claim it. Thanks so much.