40 Harsh Truths I Wish I Knew in My 40s

We all wish we had someone that had sat us down in our 20s and handed us the real playbook for life. You know, the stuff that actually matters in money and work and health and relationships. Here's the thing. Most people, they go decades without learning these truths. And it costs them time, freedom, happiness that they'll never get back. See, the craziest part is the truth isn't hidden. It's just uncomfortable. And people avoid uncomfortable. Let's face it. That's why I'm going to put them all on the table for you today. I'm mel Abraham. And 30 plus years as a financial expert, as an entrepreneur, as a mentor, helping people build wealth with meaning so they can live a life by choice, not chance. Okay? And so I'm going to give you 40 harsh truths. Short, sharp, totally unfiltered, covering money, life, health, relationships, and parenting. And by the end, you'll see exactly where you've been holding yourself back and how to start fixing it now. All right? This is building your money machine, where we help you master your money, eliminate financial stress so you can live a life of choice. Because earning more doesn't make you free. A money machine does. And that freedom, it doesn't start with your next paycheck. It starts the moment you get your money to work harder for you than you did for it. All right, let's get into it. And fair warning, some of these might sting. Let's do it. Truth number one, don't pick your partner by how they look on your arm. Pick the one that you'd still choose in the dark. Okay, now I know. Look, this isn't about looks. Looks fade. But values, character, and how they handle life storms, they're forever. Your partner is your biggest financial decision. Whether you think so or not or whether you realize it or not. The choice of partner can drive everything you do. I am blessed with an amazing partner in life, in my wife. But I didn't always make those choices. But I made the right choice on that one. You need to, too. All right, truth number two. If your lifestyle grows faster than your income, you're sprinting backwards. Just you happen to be doing it in nicer shoes. And it's called lifestyle creep. And it's sneaky, and it gets at the best of us and erodes our financial wealth. Okay? You think that you're upgrading, but what you're really doing is you're just upgrading a set of monthly payments, which doesn't get you ahead. All right, truth number three. The Joneses, they're bankrupt. They just Finance things better. Okay? Stop trying to keep up the jo. Keep up with the Joneses. The bottom line is to win the wealth game, to win the money game, to win the life game, you got to play in your own lane. What does that look like? The Joneses, they don't own the boat, the bank does. And it comes with a payment plan that is sinking them slowly. Don't follow the Joneses. Okay, truth number four. Comfort zones. They look safe until you realize they're slowly shrinking. That little bubble that you sit in where nothing seems to change, it's not protecting you, it's limiting you. Our joy, our fulfillment comes from knowing that we're expanding, developing and growing. Okay, truth number five. The people who yell the loudest about your mistakes, they were silently rooting for them. See, when you win, pay attention to who claps. And that tells you everything you need to know about your circle. Okay? You want people that are going to celebrate your wins, support you through the losses, and kick you in the rear end when you need one. All right, truth number six. You can't save your way to wealth. At some point, you have to get on the field. You have to invest, or you'll just be the world's best paid warrior. Because savings isn't going to build wealth. It might give you some liquidity, but inflation will. Will eat it all up. Okay, Savings protects you. Investing frees you. But you need both. All right, Problem is, is most people don't know where they are on that financial journey. It's the exact reason that I created something called the Financial Freedom Zone Quiz. It's totally free. You can grab it@yourfinancialfreedomquiz.com I'll put the link below. But the bottom line is, it'll tell you exactly where you're on your journey to financial freedom and what your next steps are. All right, on to truth number seven. Now, an emergency fund is your financial airbag. Ignore it and you're going to feel the crash. Okay, I get it. People are sitting back saying cash is trash and you put things in cash. It's not about the fact that you have money put away as cash and it's not invested. Just like I talked about in the last truth, you still need cash put away. You still need savings, because that's the thing that is going to cushion the blow if you have a health problem, if you lose a job, if you have some unplanned expense sense and everything. So you can make it happen. All right, truth number eight, Your bank. It's not your Friend, it's a business with a vault and a sales quota. The advice that they often give you is to benefit them first and you second. All right? So learn to be your own CFO and make the decisions that fit you. It's actually why most of my banking is with credit unions. Truth number nine, you can't out earn bad money habits. A bigger paycheck just means bigger mistakes. Income amplifies your behavior. Fix the habits before you get the raise. Fact of the matter is, is that most of our money and our wealth is driven behavior by behaviors, habits, and choices, not money. Number 10. Truth number 10. Fear has kept more people broke than bad investments ever will. Trying to avoid all risks is the biggest risk of all because you're sitting on the sidelines. Or worse yet, you're in the stands and you're not on the field playing the game. You can't win the wealth game without being on the field. All right, truth number 11. Money without meaning is just paper. With a good PR agent, I mean, that's really it. We need to know why before we start chasing the what. Often people will ask me, you know, tell me they, I want a million dollars. I want to be a millionaire. And my first question is, why? See, because if we're chasing the bank account, the commas, there's no meaning to it. And we get there and we wonder why we're empty, why we're unfulfilled. Why are people that are so wealthy so miserable? At some times, it's because they didn't find the why on the journey. Find the why on the journey. Okay, truth number 12. You don't need millions to live a rich life, but you do need a plan that works when life doesn't. Freedom is the goal. Number is just a tool. Money is the paintbrush to paint the thing that's called life. Okay? And so what we really need to do is have a plan in place to create the life that we envision and get the numbers and the money to fit. Okay, truth number 13. Wealth without generosity is just greed in nicer packaging. See, if you if your wealth doesn't make life better for someone besides you, you're missing the point. Simple as that. Okay, truth number 14. You're not behind, but you are fresh out of time to waste. See, it's not about comparison. It's about movement. It's about progress. So stop comparing. Start moving. Start getting in the game. Okay, truth number 15. Not deciding, but that's still deciding. Usually deciding to stay stuck waiting for certainty is just procrastination with a different kind of set of clothes on. The fact of the matter is, is that we'll never have full certainty. We have to act in the face of uncertainty. Truth number 16. Regret prefers inaction over mistakes, which is why it sticks longer. See, mistakes can be fixed. What if can't See sitting back and reflecting back and say, what if I had done that? What if I had tried? What if I had asked? So you can't solve that. But if you do ask, if you do try, and if you do do and you don't get this results you wanted, you can fix that. All right, truth number 17. If you wouldn't trade lives with them, stop copying their habits. See, don't model someone's wealth if you wouldn't want their life, take a real look at their life. Not the external stuff on social media or that what you think it is. Take a real look at their life and ask yourself, would I trade lives? And if not, live your own. Truth number 18. Some people aren't busy. They're just avoiding themselves. Activity doesn't always mean productivity. See, busyness doesn't mean progress. So get busy doing the things that actually matter. Truth number 19. Stop asking directions from people who've never left the driveway. In other words, get advice from people who have been where you want to go instead of those that dream about where you want to go. Okay, truth number 20. Everything takes longer than you think, certainly, especially with a construction project. And still that's faster than waiting for perfect. See? Perfect. It's a myth. Start now, know it's gonna take longer. Stay in the game, get it done. All right? And if you're not sure where you are in the game, that's why I created the Financial Freedom Zone quiz, which I talked about earlier. Takes 5 minutes. Answer a handful of questions totally free, you'll get a report. It'll tell you where you are on the journey to financial freedom and what your next steps are. I'll hook it up down below, or you can go to your financial freedomquiz.com. all right, truth number 21. Success is built in decades, not days, but destroyed in seconds if you get sloppy. Here's the deal. We tend to think that we can throw the beans out the window and I call it the beanstalk syndrome, and expect that next morning that it's going to be fully grown. That's not the way it works. Consistency wins. Success takes time. Think in long term complacency. Complacency kills. It's the first step to crisis. All right, truth number 22. If you don't make time for your health, your illness will make time for you. Here's what I mean. Prevent now or pay later is the bottom line. Take care of your health, because without it, you got nothing. I didn't go to the doctor for seven years because I actually felt good, because I was trying to take care of myself. But lo and behold, I didn't know that I had a tumor growing inside of me and everything. So I get checked regularly. Take care of your health. Everyone around you and you and your life depend on it. Truth number 23, sleep is a superpower. You're not the 1% who can thrive on four hours of sleep. Now, this is something I struggle with, just to be frank with you. Burnout isn't a badge of honor. I can get to sleep. I just don't stay to sleep. So I'll sleep four to six hours, but there's days where I get seven or eight hours. But it is your super superpower. It takes stress off of you and it and gives you the relief you need to do the things that you want to do at the level you want, you want to do it at all. Right? Truth number 24, you can't buy a new body later. This is the only model you get. So treat your soul, treat your body like it's an appreciating asset. Treat it like the vessel it is, because once it's damaged, you can't bring it back. Okay, truth number 25. Move daily. Okay? Exercise is the cheapest wealth insurance you'll ever own. Get up, walk. Strong body, strong mind, strong life. Move every single day. Get outside every single day. I do a four and a half mile walk every single morning with the dogs, then I lift. Okay, truth number 26. Stress will bankrupt your health faster than any market crash. Okay? We get so caught up with what's going on with the economy, the market, but we don't get get caught into what's stressing us out. Stress is ear. Is eroding the quality of our life, the quality of our health, quicker than we could imagine. Learn to manage it before it manages you. And truth number 27, skipping checkups is like ignoring the check engine light until your car dies. See? Catch the problems early while they're still fixable. Okay? Any indication, go get checked. Make sure that you're on top of it because everyone else around you and your life depends on you being healthy. All right, truth number 28, we're going to talk about some kids and parenting here. You're not raising children you're raising future adults. Think about that. See, think long term. Prepare them for independence, not dependence. Give them the skills that will serve them down the road. Okay? Truth number 29. They'll remember how you made them feel more than what you bought them. See, connection compounds faster than cash. When Jeremy drew that picture of me, came home from school and he drew that picture of me, of me standing in front of two computer screens. Here's this five and a half year old boy that had a chance to basically create a mirror into my soul that said, dad, you're messing it up. And I could have made the excuses about, we need the prophets. We need the prophets. And he literally in the, in that stick figure drawing told me, dad, I don't need your profits, I need your presence, okay? So they will remember how you make them feel. Truth number 30. If you don't teach them about money, the world will. And the world charges interest. The cost of ignorance is steep. This is something that's big and it's near and dear to my heart and the things that I do. The fact of the matter is, I started working with my son at 10 years old to teach him about money. But no one did that for me. And we should be doing that. We should be having these conversations. Otherwise they're just going to watch. They're going to get their money lessons through either observing you social media or media. And you know what? Most of those are not going to be good. All right, truth number 31. Discipline without a relationship leads to rebellion. See, when we are disciplined, but we don't have closeness with our children and we don't have that relationship, it creates a fear that closes the door that only trust can open. Okay? We have to build that relationship of trust. So when there happens to be a time where you have to discipline, it comes with respect. It doesn't come with fear. Truth number 32, your circle. We either lift you higher or chain you down. You gotta choose carefully, choose wisely, okay? Because their energy is contagious. Truth number 33. The more you explain yourself, the less they respect you. Over explaining often comes from insecurity. If this is what you know, know with conviction, put it out there. It's your job to put it out there. It's their job to deal with it. All right, truth number 34. Not everyone you lose is truly a loss. Sometimes subtraction is an addition. There have been people in my lives that were here for a season. They served a purpose. We had that relationship and then we moved on. Okay, truth number 35. Attention isn't affection. Being noticed isn't the same as being valued. We want to be valued. Okay? Truth number 36. You can't be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to the right ones. Boundaries are an act of love for those you care about and more importantly, to yourself. Truth number 37. Some bridges, they burn themselves. Let them see. Not every connection is worth saving. Truth number 38. A few friends you can count on are worth more than a thousand followers. You can't. Social proof doesn't tuck you in at night. What we need to do is cherish the dear friends you have and know that there are others that are outside that circle, that are merely acquaintances. Truth number 39. Legacy isn't what you leave. It's how you live right now. Your kids, your friends are all learning from life and from the life that you're living today. In each and every moment, that interaction, that's legacy. That means that the moments matter and give the moments the reverence they deserve. And truth number 40, in the end, the people who love you will matter more than the people who like you. Applause fades. Love doesn't. Even if One of these 40 truths made you think, dang, I need to change this, then don't just nod and move on. Take action. That's what this is about, okay? It's about you to write something down, to do something different, to make a change. This week, it was to get you to look at it and say, gosh, that's the way I feel. That's what I'm doing. It did for me. Okay? So the harsh truth is this. You can go through all of these and ignore them, or you can take one or two of them, make some shifts, change your life over time, okay? People will go through this, and I can't wait to see what you do. All right, do me a favor. When you figure out which ones you got to change, which ones that stung, which ones that hit you hard, post them below. Let me know. DM me. I'd love to hear from you, because trust me, there's a few that hit me. All right, I can't wait to see you on your journey to financial freedom. And until I do, as I always say, always, always strive to live a life that I love you. Thank you for listening to the Affluent Entrepreneur show with me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the Affluent Entrepreneur Facebook group now by going to melabraham.com forward/group, and I'll see you there. And that's it for this episode of Building YOUR Money Machine, where we help you learn how to master your money, eliminate financial stress, and live a life of choice. If you found this valuable or helpful to you, here's what I'd love for you to do. If you do me a favor, go to Apple, Apple Podcast, or wherever you're listening to this podcast and rate and review the show. It helps us tremendously to keep us at the top of the list so we can continue to get this information and this message out to people. Because I truly believe that financial freedom is your birthright, and I want to help each and every one of you claim it. Thanks so much.