How to Live a Fully Expressed Life with Rachel Luna

Hey there, real quick before we jump into the episode, listen, if your earnings treadmill hasn't set you free yet, running faster won't either. Listen, hustle without principles just going to burn you out. So here's what I want for you. I want you to join me for my money machine experience live. It is three free trainings. Deep dive into how to escape the treadmill and build a money machine that actually works for you. All right, Grab your spot here by going to moneymachinelive.com and I'll see you in the free training. Oh, my God. This one. This one's a unique one. This one is with my friend Rachel Luna. She is the author of the new book Permission to offend. Permission to offend. And we had an interesting conversation. This was not just about business, not just about money. We did have conversations around that, but it was about life. How do you live a life that's fully expressed? How do you express yourself? What are the things that go into to build in that kind of life? We talk about her cancer journey and even my cancer journey, about how her beliefs are formed and some of the things that have happened. It's an interesting conversation that goes deep and is going to allow you to start looking at things to say, am I feeling living life fully expressed? So here's what I want you to do. Grab a coffee, grab a water, grab whatever your a tea, grab a pad of paper and a pen and listen to this episode. Open mind, open heart. And then go out and live fully expressed that rich life, that affluent life that we talk about. Welcome to this episode of the affluent entrepreneur show. See you soon. This is the affluent entrepreneur show for entrepreneurs that want to operate at a high level and achieve financial liberation. I'm your host, Mel Abraham, and I'll be sharing with you what it takes to create success beyond wealth so you can have a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle. In this show, you'll learn how business and money intersect so you can scale your business, scale your money and scale your life while creating a deeper impact and living with complete freedom because that's what it really means to be an athlete. Entrepreneur.

Hey there, Rachel. Thank you for being on the show today, man. It has been. I don't know when we met, but it's been a long time. We have watched each other go through trials, tribulations, and some common journeys and struggles over the years. So welcome to the show.

Thank you. Mel, my sweet friend. It has been almost a decade, actually, and here we are. Thank God. So helpful.

Yeah, for both of us. For Those of you that don't know Rachel, she is the author of the amazing book Permission to Offend. I've got it right here. And we'll be talking a little bit about that. But before we do, I'd love the viewers, the listeners, to know a little bit about who Rachel Luna is.

Oh, such a loaded question.

It certainly is. I know we could go all kinds of places with that. Knowing your history.

I read the Cliff Notes version is I'm a certified master neuroscience coach, a former U.S. marine and a triple negative breast cancer survivor. Those are some of the roles and experiences that I've had. I'm a mother and a wife. But one of the things which I actually talk about in the book is that those are my roles, those are my responsibilities, whether I have chosen them or they've been assigned to me. But my identity and who I really am is love. I'm just one big ball of energetic love. And I am here to help heal the world and set people free from the prison in their mind.

Well, and, and that's kind of because we met, like you said, a decade ago.

And at that time it was really just entrepreneurship you were doing. We were. In a sense, I think we were both finding ourselves.

Yes, absolutely. I mean, when we first met, I remember I wanted to talk about confidence. I was a confidence coach. I was helping people feel more confident. My, my promise was the fastest way to build your business is to build your confidence. And I remember being told by my coaches and mentors at the time, you can't sell confidence. Nobody wants to buy confidence. You have to do sales or, or affiliate marketing or, you know, whatever, whatever. It was absence of what I wanted to do. And at that time in my life, I was so hungry for financial freedom and I was so desperate for growth and for this, you know, accolade and stature. These things that I was building up in my mind that I listened to these, I believe, well intentioned coaches who, who they themselves did not understand that not every blueprint is going to build the dream house for that individual.

Yeah.

And so I followed their advice now, and I will say I did. I made money. I was making great money. I was helping people. But I never felt that true fulfillment. Something always felt a little off. And I was always waiting for people to find out that I wasn't whatever it is I was trying to sell. Like, I wasn't the queen of sales. I wasn't the best affiliate marketer. I was good at those things. I had aptitude. I'm a phenomenal coach and when you're. When you are a skilled, phenomenal coach, you can coach on just about anything because the mechanics and principles of coaching do not change. Right? It was always this thing, and it was because I was not giving myself permission to offend my coaches and say, listen, buddy, I. I know you're the expert in marketing, but I am the expert in me, and I am the expert in what God is trying to birth through me. So this is what I want to do. Teach me what you know in marketing and sales and business development through the lens of what I want to teach and what I'm being called to teach right now. And I think if I had that courage then and if I had that willingness to offend, quote unquote, I think I would have been in a different place. But it all had to work out the way it did.

So here's an interesting thing, because you said something, and I think that. That it's true. You said, you know, I was making money, I was doing pretty good, but I really wasn't fulfilled. You know, and there was a study, a Harvard study, 4,000 millionaires. And it was a money and a happiness study. And the questions that they were asking were around their happiness.

And in the top five.

There was nothing about the money. In the top five, the thing that really drove their happiness was not how much money they made, not the money they made, but how they made the money.

And so how often we find ourselves in a place.

That.

We are following the lead of our peers, our parents, society, expectations, colleges.

Career paths, all that stuff without the courage. Now, I'm not saying, because I'm about the finances and all that stuff, too, not do it irresponsibly. I mean, there is a difference between being committed and being reckless, but not having the courage to turn around and say, there's something more. For me.

Forgetting this.

Judgment that might come from others that say, I wouldn't make that same decision.

And it's okay, because the good news is that it's not their decision to make.

Yeah. And, you know, it's interesting because what most people don't realize is that the judgment and rejection that we are trying to avoid so that we stay connected to the pack, that kind of goes to the primitive portion of our brain that goes back to back in the caveman times. What happened? We all lived in community. We lived in these groups, and if you got separated from the group, you ran the risk of dying. Why? Because you didn't have access to the hunters and the gatherers and those community resources. But we don't live in those times anymore. Each one of us can go hunt and gather our own stuff at the grocery store. Right. Right. So you're not going to die if you get separated from the pact. You just think you are. The important thing to remember is that judgments are automatic. There was a study that was done that showed that our brains are making a decision as to whether or not someone approaching us is safe. Eight seconds before we have full facial recognition. That means, Mal, you and I have known each other for a decade.

Yeah.

You could be coming to me from across the room before. Eight seconds before I recognize, oh, that's Mel. My brain is going to make an assumption and a judgment as to whether or not you are safe based on perception, life experiences, whatever I've just consumed. So for example, if I just watched an Investigative Discovery show and the program was of some mass murderer who happened to have similar features to you, because that's the most recent recall that I have. Oh, my gosh. That's not Mel. That's a murderer from Investigative Discovery. So we have to recognize that these judgments that we are so afraid of, number one, are automatic. The first judgment, the second judgment is a choice. And number two, they don't necessarily stay valid. There's always an opportunity to go in and have a different conversation, to change someone's perspective, to change their mind. Or if you don't change their mind, at least get them to a point where they can understand where you're coming from.

Yeah.

So we should give ourselves a little more permission to offend and have these very fun and interesting, sometimes spicy conversations.

Well, and here's look, because you've got the book and title is Permission to Offend. And I want to get to what was the genesis of the book, what was the catalyst of the book? In a second. But I think that.

What I love about the idea of the permission to offend is it's not really offending to be offensive.

It is really about the idea of being fully you, unapologetically you. And even though someone might not agree with you or.

Subscribe to that, that we need to be able to have the healthy dialogues around it versus what we have seen.

In society where it's demonized. We don't promote these conversations. We don't have this stuff. And so this is where I start to look at this and say, this is a beautiful book timed.

At an important time in our. In our history, because I think we've lost. There's another side of this, I think. And we can. Then we can talk about this is that that we've also lost our ability.

To communicate. We don't, we don't value communication. I think it's the absolute greatest skill that we should be cultivating in society, in our children, as humans, as team members, as employees. And we've lost it. We've lost the art of communication, which means that we've lost the art of relations.

I would add to that, not only have we lost the art of communication, we are dangerously close to losing the art of critical thinking and thought leadership, which is something that you taught me. I will never forget this. You were teaching me how to build out frameworks. By the way, there are frameworks in the book. And I always credit you for teaching me how to take my ideas and put them into frameworks. But you taught me that whenever there's an idea to either look at it as yes and or yes but, no and no but, and then find out what your idea is behind the yes and, and the no but or the yes buts. And we're, we're not doing that. We also are not allowing for safe conversations where we can test ideas out and get them wrong without being canceled or cut off or, you know, being labeled something horrible. And so I'm really interested in changing the landscape so that we can have better, more critically thought driven conversations that create more community and more connection, not division.

I love this. I love this. So what, what's the thing that because.

Businesses are going to be more successful when we can do this, employees are going to feel more fulfilled when we do this.

Your.

Retention of employees will be better. The loyalty of your customers will be better. The level of, of trust will, will exist. The, they're getting the, the realness of you. And, and so this, this has been a, a work for you to bring us out. What was the genesis of this book? Was there an event? Was there something that got you to go? This is in my heart, my soul. I gotta write this?

Okay, so the title came from one event. The finished product. And what actually was then created from it is completely different. So let me say this, but before that, I don't want to lose this thought about the, this idea of when we do this work, our businesses, our retention, all of that improves. The one thing I want to make sure we can come back and dig into this a little more is that in order for us to first have those conversations with other people, we have to first learn how to have these internal conversations with ourselves. So just remind me to break that down a little more. But to answer your Question about the genesis there. There I was, taking on this crown of sales confidence queen, which is what I had been dubbed by my coaches. Right? You're so great at selling. You are self confidence queen. And listen, Mel, I can sell. I actually love it because I look at sales as an exchange of value and an opportunity to have a transaction that leads to transformation. So when it comes to sales, I'm here for it. I'm on stage speaking to a group of 500 women around their sales, and why aren't they putting themselves out there? And I asked the audience, why don't you sell? Why aren't you making more offers? Somebody stand up and tell me. And a very brave woman stood up. I can see her face just like I'm looking at you right now. And she's like, I'm afraid to offend people. And without thinking the words that came out of my mouth. Offend them. Offend them. You have to give yourself permission to offend. And as soon as the words came out, I was like, oh, that's good. You ever say something and you're like.

That was good. And this is what I said to her. I said, there are people who are offended that you even dare to dream. There are people that are offended that you exists. I can think of my own. My stepmother, she hated me just because I look like my biological mother, who, by the way, was already dead in the ground for like a decade. And so there are people that are offended that you look a certain way, that you have a certain faith practice, that you talk about your faith that you are making money. You know, one. One of the things that my husband has worked to overcome is his belief in wealthy people because he grew up very, very poor. But his parents made just enough money to afford to, like, send him to the special school. There was some sort of a program. So he goes to school with all these rich kids, but he's poor. And so he had this idea that rich people are mean and they're just arrogant and da, da da, da, da, da. And when I hear, I come like, oh, we're going to be millionaires. I'm building this business and we're going to be millionaires, and we're flying first class. Get on board. And he's like, why would we want to be like those people? They're awful, right? And so he was offended by their existence, by their money. And then he was offended that I was trying to make us the very thing that he hated. So that was kind of the. The. The. The birthplace, the genesis of It. As I had this idea, I was talking about it, people were. I was testing out the concept, and people were like, man, that's really good. But you know why people were so excited about the idea? Because it was freedom. It was giving them permission to actually say the things that they were thinking and build their businesses the way that they were seeing it, not the way their coaches were telling them it needed to be. They could make these decisions with their money aligned to the risk that they wanted to take, the calculated, strategic risk without listening to the programming from their mom that said, save for a rainy day, never invest or put it in the mattress or whatever. Ideas.

What got us to where we are today with the book? A couple of things happened. Number one, I was really interested in writing a book that was going to lead to transformation solely from reading it. And this is my. My copy, by the way, once you take off the COVID Right. So solely from reading it.

I didn't want to write a book that was like, here's like, step one, and now go buy my course so you can get the full transformation. I didn't want to make a marketing calling card. Nothing wrong with that, by the way. If that's what you got, that's what you got. Rock it. But I knew I was interested in giving people freedom just from reading the book. And then if they wanted to go deeper with me to mastery level, we could do that. But I wanted to make sure that when you were done reading any part of the book, you felt a shift in who you were being and you were connected more to your internal truth and less to the external expectations of the world.

So good. So good. And. And I will tell you, as someone who's read it, you accomplished it.

Thank you, friend.

Yeah. Yeah, you have. I mean, and I agree. I think the reader of a book is. It's one of the most intimate ways that we can have an opportunity. And it's actually a safe way for those that are looking to start to push the boundaries of what they think they're capable of doing, to do it in a safe way and start to get used to it. So I love that. And I think that this is the.

This is the whole dynamic. The last thing you said was that what society expects of us. And I think it's even far worse because of social media, because of everything that is there where we can't. You said something about critical thinking. It's true.

Where.

What are we doing? We're going to go look at what others are doing, and we base that our decision and you think about how this plays out just in the money space. I was, I get my haircut from a kid who's 23 years old and I go in there, he knows what I do. So we talk money, we talk investing. And he says to me, my, one of my friends just bought a five thousand dollar watch. And I go, does he make a lot of money? And he says, no, he's, he's like 23, like me, so curious. Just help me understand, why did he do it? And he said, because his friends thought it was cool. I said, cool, Can I, can I do some math? And he said, yeah. I said, in your 20s, when you put money away, every dollar you put away will turn to 70 to $80 by the time you're ready to retire. 60, 60, 65 said. So his $5,000 watch, to impress a couple of guys that he's not going to probably know in three years, was a 5,000 purchase decision today that cost him a $400,000 financial future tomorrow.

I'm okay with him doing it as long as he's informed, intentional and aware and he makes the conscious choice. I'll never tell them no. But too often we make decisions or even worse, we fail to make a decision.

Because of the pressure that we might feel overtly or covertly by what's going on and how do we show up in our business, how do we show up in our family's lives? How do we show up with our money? How do we show up where we're giving and generous and all those things are become impacted?

Yep. And you know, it's so interesting that you say that because I am thinking about all of the things that I did not say that have cost me money. So there was this one time there was something going on in our home and I just had this feeling like we should probably get that taken care of. Like this is a big deal. And my husband, you know, he did the like little wife, you don't know what you're talking about kind of thing.

I rag on my husband a lot. He said he is my biggest cheerleader and I'm really grateful for him. And we give each other, you know, good hard time every now and again.

Because I didn't want to rock the boat and I didn't want to cause an argument. I let that problem go. By the time I finally had the conviction in my spirit to say something, it ended up being like a $30,000 problem versus to fix versus we actually could have gotten the previous owner to cover because of the time frame. In when I discovered this problem. Problem. And so, you know, you just think about all the times you don't speak up, all the times you don't take the action, the aligned action that you want to take. All the times that you push down your truth to make someone else feel comfortable in your space. And it costs, cost you time, money, energy. Ultimately, that emotional freedom that I think is so important. Now, of course, I did get to say to my husband, you listen to me now. Forever and ever. First time.

Yeah, yeah. It, it's usually it just takes a couple years before us husbands will, will figure this thing out and go, just listen, just, you know, just go with it. All right? You know.

But I, I think that that that's the cool thing to start looking at it. But here's the, the other side of that. What you're not saying, and I'm, I know I mentioned it before.

Is you're saying to speak your mind and your truth.

Yes. Okay, well, let me explain that if I can. So I am speak your mind and your truth, and people will say, but how do I know my truth? So I'm actually saying to you, connect to your identity. How do you figure that out? A very simple framework. Your values plus your beliefs equals your identity. So what do you value now? One of the things, this is a question I ask all the time. Clients tell me what you value. You know what they say? Top three answers, always God, my family and my friends. God, family, relationships. Those are the top three that'll come up. I'll say, okay, awesome. You say God. Do you have a practice, like a faith practice? Do you pray every day? You know, are you in whatever your book of your God is? No, I don't do that. Okay, cool. No big deal. You say you value your family. Show me. Do you have vacations already planned out? Do you do something special with your family every night or once a week? Do you have a standing date with your husband or your spouse? No, I don't have that. Okay, cool. All right, so talk to me about relationships. You say you value relationships. Are you making time for in person connection? Do you get on phone calls with friends just for fun? No, I'm not. Okay, so what are you really doing with your time? And then I have them show me their calendar. And their calendar is filled with everything but the things that they said they value. So if you want to know if you are living your life according to your values, open up your calendar because your time will tell where your values dwell. That's not a Rachel Luna original But it is surely a great quote. Okay, that's the first step. If you are looking at your finances and they don't tell the picture that you want them to tell, that you know, that's not showing you what you want to see. You're not spending time in your money, you're not giving it the attention, you're not valuing it the way that you say that you want it.

And so I would say to you, pay attention to where you are spending your time. If you do not feel personal fulfillment six out of seven days of the week, you are spending time out of alignment with your values and it is causing friction and discontent. And you don't realize it because you've been so used to this pattern that you've settled for this discomfort. You've actually become very comfortable in this discomfort. Now let's take a look at our beliefs. One thing I want to say, which I actually didn't include in the book, you know, there's always like one little nuance that you forget to throw in there. But one thing I want to make sure that we start normalizing is giving ourselves permission to change our beliefs. Sometimes we get so committed to a belief and we don't want to let it go because this is how everyone knew me. And you have to give yourself permission to let some people learn. A new you get to know a new you. So you're going to look at your beliefs. What do you believe and why do you believe it now? Mel, you know I'm a God, girl. I'm a Christian. And by the way, I am not here to tell anybody what they should or should not believe. To be honest, I do not care. That's with you and your maker. If you think that you have a maker or you don't, whatever. But as for me, I'm going to serve the Lord, the Lord, the God of the Bible. And people will say, well, why do you believe that? And I will say, you know what? Every single day I ask myself that question. Because if I were just to take the Bible at face value, nah, I'm not buying that. Mary and Joseph didn't get it in one time and oops, Jesus was just like, haha, I'm not buying this whole. Jonah lived in the whale. Really? He survived. You know, some of these Bible stories, they just don't land there for me. But I choose to believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God. I choose to believe in this God, the Christian God and Jesus because of the evidence that I have in my personal life when I was diagnosed with cancer. I remember on. This is going to sound real crazy, Mel, okay? But just go with it for a second, and then you can reject it if you want. And that's okay because your truth doesn't make me a liar and my truth doesn't make you a liar. We just have two different beliefs about the same situation.

July 4, 2019, 3:25pm I'm at a conference. I'm two days newly diagnosed. I just get the call that there is a tumor. It is multiplying at 93% per day. Do you know how fast that tumor is growing for it to be multiplying at 93% per day? And I am terrified because I've got these two little girls that need their mom. So I go to this event. Now, you and I love events, don't we, Mao? We are there event. We're there. We're front row. We're VIP all the way. So I go to this event and I say to my girlfriend, who's the organizer said, I'm here to volunteer. I've got to take my. My mind off of this. And the best way that I can take my mind off of this is to be of service, is to go and pour out love and. And just blessings to everyone else because at least that gives me purpose for the day and will help me stay focused on why I want to live. I said, the only caveat is that when Bev Tucker speaks on stage, I am going to be in that room because I'm going to get a blessing from her. Right, let's just peel this away. That was a belief that I held. And what I want to impress upon our listeners today is the power of what you choose to believe and how when you choose to believe one way or another, it informs your decisions, it informs your actions, and it most certainly informs your results.

Pastor Bev Tucker gets on stage and she's casting out demons and she's just doing her thing. And then she says, is there anyone with K? All I heard was kuh. I didn't mean to hear the rest of her sentence. So I run to the front of the room and I throw my hands down and I am crying like, God, please, Jesus, save me. Don't let me die. All the things. And I hear a voice. Now, mind you, I've never heard God speaking to me audibly. So now I think I have officially lost my mind. And I hear a voice say, you will be cancer free within 30 days. And I look up and I'm like, I'm going Crazy. Oh, my God. There's something else wrong with me. Because how can that be? No one is healed from cancer within 30 days. No, that's unheard of. And then I start to get this download of start fasting, start tithing, wake up at 4am in the morning and pray. I get just all these things. And then I heard the words document. So I go back to my chair, I look at the time, 3:25pm, July 4, 2019. I write down everything that I've heard, and then I just go and do. Now, did I know if those things. No. Honestly, I. I truly thought I was losing my mind, but I had hope, faith, and belief that just maybe it would work. And do you know, Mel, that that was on July 4th. On July 29th, I got a call from my oncologist. There was no evidence of disease. 25 days. Within 20 days, there was no evidence of disease. So all that being said, I don't know if the God of the Bible is the God, but it's a belief that I've chosen to accept because of the evidence I have in my life. And it's okay with me if people around me don't believe me. It's okay with me if people think I'm crazy. I'm willing to look crazy. I'm willing to look foolish for my conviction. I'm willing to tell this story even. You know, a lot of people don't like me to tell this story mount because they're like, oh, you're going to offend my audience. You know, this is a podcast about money. Nobody wants to hear about God. I, I understand that, but this is part of how we got here. This is part of my journey. And if you want to know my story, I have to tell you this part of the story because it informs why I believe so much. And giving yourself permission to offend because you know what the doctors told me? Maybe they told you this too. You need 53 weeks of chemo and then six to eight weeks of radiation and go and eat as many burgers and fries and milkshakes as you want because you're so petite, you need the calories. Now, you and I, before we began recording, what did we talk about? The radical diet changes that we made. Right? And cutting out dairy and cutting out sugar. Because you and I both know that for, for us, we won't say for everybody, we'll say for you and I, we believe that no sugar, no dairy, low grains is the path for healing for us. Would you agree with me on that?

I. I Would. I actually did a FAST too.

Yeah. There will be people that get so angry. There are people in the cancer community that get so angry that I did not choose the conventional chemotherapy or radiation track. And that's okay. I respect their anger because their anger is really a mask for fear and doubt and unbelief.

Well, look, and this. Obviously it's not the topic of the show as far as cancer and all that stuff, but it's life. And if we're to live a rich life, if we're to. Because I questioned my doctors. In fact. In fact, the very first doctor that I went to, so we got diagnosed about the same time, you know, and the very first doctor I went to, I go in and he says, the CT scan showed a 5 centimeter tumor. I need to go in with a scope and let's verify it now. That was a Thursday. And he goes in with a scope and he says, yeah, it's there. We were supposed to leave to England the next day. He said, I need you to cancel your trip. I need you in surgery on Monday.

Wow.

And I walk out and look at Stephanie. And I said, he's not touching me.

She goes, I. She goes, I agree. She goes, why do you say it? And I said, first things first. He had the CT scan for 12 days, and now it's an emergency.

The way he said I do these surgeries sounded like I take the trash out every week. And I said it just in. I just. There was a feeling. So we literally sat in the parking lot. She's in the medical industry, so she starts calling colleagues and who's the best surgeon? Who's the best surgeon? Who's the best surgeon? This guy's name came up three times.

We called his office. His assistant said, we happen to have an opening tomorrow morning at 9am wow. He's been my surgeon ever since. And I think that.

We suppress the voices.

Within us because maybe we don't know where they're coming from. We don't know. But it's the same voice that is the yearning in us to live bigger. It's the same voice that the yearning us to dream bigger. It's the same voice in us that is saying, there is more for you out there. And yet we suppress it because people might think something. We suppress it because it's not what we're supposed to do. We suppress it for whatever reason. But the one thing that happens when we suppress it is we live a smaller life.

That's me. And obviously it's not necessarily about money, but it Is it is in the sense that so many people will just not think about the money and say, I can't be a millionaire. You know what? 80% of people, millionaires are first generation millionaires. They created it on their own. They didn't win it, they didn't inherit it, they didn't do anything. They created it. So if 80% of people, 8 out of 10 people can do it, why can't you? Well, I think that the biggest thing is, the first thing is that the convert, like you said, the conversations we're having in our with ourselves about success, about relationships, about health, about money, about all the things. And I think when we start there, we start to recast our life in a different vision.

Yes. And it actually, in my opinion, is about the money to an extent. Because when I think about the path, the healing path that I chose, none of that was covered by insurance. And thank God I had the money.

I had the flexibility to write a $35,000 check. And because my doctor, where I went to get treatment was no payment plan. You pay before you, even before you get your ID bracelet, you're fully paid. And so it was having the mindset even leading up to that, Right. This is why we aspire to have affluence. It's not because money is the thing, it's what the money can do for us to have the life that we desire to have, to have the freedom, the flexibility and the access. Do you know that women of color disproportionately die of breast cancer, in particular triple negative, the kind that I was diagnosed with than white women. And do you know why that is? It's not a genetic thing. It's a class and access issue. And so by the time that women of color finally say, okay, I'm going to go in and pay the deductible, it's too late. And that's a class thing that can be easily resolved when we start giving ourselves permission to own our abundance and our wealth and create, make those better decisions just like you teach us. You know, I don't know if you know this, Mel, but years ago, my babies were young and you were so generous, you sat down with me. I was like, mel, I want to make money like you make money, tell me how to do it. And you sat down with me and you were telling me all the ways that I could things, smart, things I could do with my money. And I listened to you and I immediately set up accounts for my kids. And so now these girls, by the time they're 40 they will each have about a million dollars in their accounts by themselves. You also taught me about getting insurance on myself. And we won't say what my insurance policy is, but let's just say it's going to be really, it's layers, legacy behind. And all of, all of that are wise decisions that we get to make. Do you know that there were people that told me I didn't need those things and that I was wasting money and that it wasn't smart to, you know, you're, you're living so, you know, on pennies right now. And I was like, yeah, because I see a bigger picture.

Yeah. And you're playing. All of it is planting seeds, seeds for the future.

But, you know, and I think that that's really the key. Look, I started down this money journey in a different way because of a picture that Jeremy Drew at 6 years old. He showed me that I was living life out of balance. I was. Showed me that I was out of harmony, showed me that, that he didn't understand because it was a picture, but it was a mirror. He created a mirror of what he saw. And I had to either look in the mirror or turn away. And if I was going to look in the mirror, I had to change things. And the beautiful thing at the hands of a six year old to learn that, hey, you can do business, you can do career, you can be a parent, you can be in relationships and you can be, you can build wealth at the same time. The beautiful.

Outcome of that. I did all of that because I wanted my time.

To be able to do things, because I think that our wealth should be measured in time and the number of moments we get to control and not dollars. But it's the very thing that allowed me, like you said, the privilege, the luxury or whatever you, however you want to term it, the blessing that when I was diagnosed, to sit back and say, I don't care where the best doctors are.

I don't care what it takes. I'm going to fight this battle. I'll fund the battle battle. And I'm doing it because of my love for, for life, my love for my wife, my love for my kid, my love for being here, my love for serving. But it was all the work that I did.

Before, and that's what I'm hoping people start to see is that it's not the money for money's sake. It's to be able to control all the aspects of your life in a way that you live a life of choice and options and a life that I think is built because the decisions we make around our money today should serve the future we want tomorrow. And there's a difference between. Something that I've talked about a lot recently is I think that people want too much. And what I mean by this is this. If we talk to someone about their wants or their goals, they'll make a list of wants. Wants like a mile long. But wants are very soft, fuzzy little things that a year later, two years later, when you don't get the wants, you go, well, I wanted it, but I didn't get it, and you try again. I want people to shrink that list down to a handful of wills. Because a will is a declaration. A will is going to scare you because you have to go out there and say, I will do this. I will beat this. I will get healthy. I will have a great relationship. I will be a good parent. I will be a good spouse. And you have to make that declaration. When you make that declaration, it goes back to what you were saying, and that is identity. Because when we do that.

We have to align and be congruent with that pathway. And so whether it's with our money, whether it's with financial freedom, whether it's health, relationships, it starts to drive all of it. And so I sit back and I say, don't want so much. Get some really meaningful wills and get on.

I had to write that down. I don't know if you noticed. I said, hold on. Mal's taking us to church right here.

Yeah. Oh, you got me going, girl. Oh, my God. This whole conversation.

Like you said, it is a life conversation we're having here. It's a quality of life conversation. It's how you get to live fully expressed.

And so I'm going to. Y' all are listening. You all are watching. I hope that you go and make sure that you get this book permission to offend and realize that what she's asking you and inviting you to do is to live your life fully expressed.

To know that.

If you got called home tonight, tomorrow, the next day, whatever it is, that you can look yourself in the eyes and say, I did it all. I did.

What I was meant to. I had a dear friend who just passed away at 47 years old. So sorry, and it's too young. Four kids, it's too soon. And it really got me realizing. And I'm not close to 47. I'm on the other side of 47. But at the same time to sit back and go, I don't know what I did with the years behind me. But I certainly know what I'm going to do with the years in front of me.

Or at least the moment in front of me.

I was going to say you said something so interested is I certainly know. And I think that there are a lot of people who don't know. And so when they hear someone like you with that level of conviction, it actually creates a little bit of dissonance and it actually creates a deregulation of the nervous system. So I want to really quickly speak to the person having that moment right now. And this is one of the things that we talk about in the book as well, is paying attention to how other people's life experience affects you and how it either helps or hinders you. So there's a section in the book where I title slow your scroll. And so you'll pay attention to when was the last time you didn't feel the uneasiness? Okay, so you just said something so powerful. I know where I'm going and I know there's a listener who's thinking, how do I, how does he know? How do I know? And so now you're going to start to feel all these emotions. So what I want to encourage you to do is to go back to right before you heard that and what was your state and what is it about what Mel just said that is triggering for you? Are you afraid that you don't know? Are you afraid that you do know that and you don't have that level of conviction? What's actually coming up for you? What is the story that you're telling yourself around the thought and what are the facts? Because if you can start to separate that and then get very curious, you will be able to have the same level of conviction that Mel has around his next moment and then his future moments. So I'm so glad that you did that. Because whenever I encounter people like you who are so affirmed in their truth, like you're fully self expressed, and I venture to say that you are the epitome of the empathetic offender, which is what we talk about in chapter four, the frameworks, thanks to Mel Frameworks in the book. And so when we are the empathetic offender, we are stating our truth according to our values and beliefs. We're doing it with compassion, with empathy, and with conviction. And it also allows you to open space for the other person's perspective. So in this conversation, Mel has been very generous to let me share my faith perspective, you know, my, my health perspective. And the whole time, whether he's Agreed with me or disagreed. He's held the space that is an empathetic offender. Now, if he were going to operate from the wounded offender, he'd have been like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not what we're talking about. Shut that down. I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Get back on tail. And there would have been some friction. But when you can give yourself that permission to be the empathetic offender, we get to have incredibly meaningful conversations, and then we start to learn from each other. If we had more time, I would go all the way in with Mao and start asking him, well, let's talk about this conviction, and how did you get there? And where. Where do you not feel convicted? And so the curiosity that you can bring both to a conversation, a dialogue with someone else, a conversation that you're listening to, or the internal conversations that you're having with yourself will be the. The key to your clarity. And there's so much more in the blood.

So good.

And we could talk for a while, but here's the deal. I get this, and I know this. I think it's gonna hit some people, and it might be confronting, and I hope in a way, it is. But my hope is that what you will do as you listen, as you hear, is to do it with the open mind and not. Not the judgment. And to ask, what can I glean from it? What can I take from it? What can I use from it? And not. Because neither one of us are asking you to believe what we believe. We simply are hoping that you will believe in you and find the beliefs that are in you that maybe have been suppressed. The belief in your dreams, the belief in the relationships, the power of the relationships you can have. Your children, your giving, your generosity, all of that. Because I truly believe that that's what the world needs now. Love, sweet love.

But here's the deal. Do me a favor. Where can they find not only the book, but more about Rachel? Because I think that the. This conversation isn't just a conversation. It is. It is a something that we need to keep at the forefront. Because if we're going to grow and live our lives fully and fully expressed, we need to be able to have these conversations.

Thank you. Well, I would love, since you're already listening to a podcast, for you to subscribe to my podcast. It's the same title. Permission to offend, and visit me over@rachel Luna.com if you are an Instagrammer, I'm earlconfident. So those are the three best places. And feel free to DM me any questions, any challenges. I love having these conversations and I do personally respond.

Awesome. Well, we'll hook that all up in the, in the show notes in the description and all that stuff. And we'd love to hear from you on the show, too. So. So what was your biggest takeaway? What is something that you had? If you have questions, you can submit them to me too. And let's keep this conversation going. Rachel, so good to have a chance to chat with you. So good to have you on the show and so glad you're, you're healthy, you're vibrant and you're serving because that's where your soul belongs.

You as well. Thank you, Mel. Love you so much.

See you soon. Thank you for listening to the Aftermath Entrepreneurship with me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the affluent entrepreneur Facebook group now by going to melabraham.com group and I'll see you there.

And that's it for this episode of Building your money Machine where we help you learn how to master your money and eliminate financial stress and live a life of choice. If you found this valuable or helpful to you, here's what I'd love for you to do. If you do me a favor, go to Apple, Apple Podcast, or wherever you're listening to this podcast and rate and review the show. It helps us tremendously to keep us at the top of the list so we can continue to get this information and this message out to people. Because I truly believe that financial freedom your birthright and I want to help each and every one of you claim it. Thanks so much.