How to Redefine Your Future with Lori Harder

Hey there, real quick before we jump into the episode, listen, if your earnings treadmill hasn't set you free yet, running faster won't either. Listen, hustle without principles just going to burn you out. So here's what I want for you. I want you to join me for my money machine experience Live. It is three free trainings. Deep dive into how to escape the treadmill and build a money machine that actually works for you. All right, Grab your spot here by going to moneymachinelive.com and I'll see you in the free training. Wow. Just wow. This episode you're gonna love with a dear, dear friend, Lori Harder. She's such an amazing woman who's come on an amazing journey, ups and downs, recreating her life from a life where she didn't see possibility, she didn't see promise, she didn't see that. And what it was like to navigate and to move beyond it. How she did that, but not only that, how to come back. How she came back from losing everything and rebuilding with her husband without destroying their relationship and where she is now and how she's serving as a CEO and founder of a beverage company. And some of the conversations we talked about some of the rituals and the key things that helped her move through the tough times. So if you're feeling like maybe the circumstances or your situation is tenuous or you're struggling, this is the episode you need to listen to because Lori, Lori is just an amazing soul and she shines bright. If you're looking to build that richer life that we talk about, these are the foundational elements that you need to have in it to keep you on the trajectory to the richer life you deserve. So I'll see you in the episode. Welcome to this episode of the Affluent Entrepreneur Show. This is the Affluent Entrepreneur show for entrepreneurs that want to operate at at a high level and achieve financial liberation. I'm your host, Mel Abraham, and I'll be sharing with you what it takes to create success beyond wealth so you can have a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle. In this show, you'll learn how business and money intersect so you can scale your business, scale your money, and scale your life while creating a deeper impact and living with complete freedom because that's what it really means to be an athlete entrepreneur.

Hey there, Lori. So good to have you on the show. This is going to be fun because Lori's not just an amazing, amazing guest, like I said in the intro, but she's a dear, dear friend and her and her husband are becoming even closer friends. To my wife, Stephanie and I. So how are you doing? So good to have you here.

I'm so excited to be here, Mel. We normally have this conversation over a table of food, not with a microphone.

Yeah, we do. We do. And just for you all to know.

Chris and Lori are either the two people to thank or to blame for us having Budo. It just depends on what mood he's in.

Yeah. And we're working on. Now that we have two dogs, we're working on you guys getting two dogs. We'll see how that goes.

Yeah. God, I got to keep you away from Stephanie because she's. She's scrolling.

There's no. There's no keeping me away, so.

Oh, my God. So, so good to have you here. You know, listen, you have done so many things in your journey, in your career. You. You've battled back from. From, you know, situations, let's just say, and. And coming back from. From losing, basically losing everything, building, pivoting, all that stuff. What I'd love to do is just at least for those that are watching and listening that maybe just don't know who Lori Harder is. First off, they need to know. You all need to know Lori Harder and her husband Chris. And let's just start off with a little bit about who Lori Harder is and what you're doing and how you got to here.

All right, we're gonna go there. All right. So it's funny, the older we get, the more I'm like, how do we make this story. Story shorter?

Welcome to my world.

Oh, my gosh. But I think it's really important for people to. To know people's backstories because it is so easy in this world of social media to just think that people arrived and, you know, it's the overnight success that is, you know, takes 20 years to make. So. I am from a really small town in upper Michigan, literally the North Woods. We considered ourselves more Canadian than we did.

U. S. Citizens, because we were just so far up there, you guys. And, you know, I. I like to tell people or remind them that I'm from a really small town because that does affect the way that you live. And it's really impacted everything that I do now. All of the work that I do, the books that I do, the podcast, I do, because I really believe that who we are around, what we're surrounded by and the opportunities that we see are going to be the extent of what we believe is possible for us. So being from that small town, I had a very small circle. But to make it even smaller. I was homeschooled through high school, and I was in a pretty restrictive religion where I wasn't allowed to associate with anyone outside of that religion. So it took a really small town. In my congregation, in my religion was about a hundred people. So growing up, those were the only people that I was allowed to ever hang around, talk to, anything like that. So. So with that said, my perception of what life was and what was possible was very small. And so when I turned 18 and moved out of the house to go and see what else this world had to offer, I ended up leaving that particular religion. Number one, I did not know who I was. I didn't know up from down. I was thrown out into this world that I didn't understand. So you can imagine it was like a spring being held and you just bounce like crazy. So I went from kind of this extreme sheltered lifestyle to, I went a little crazy for the first two years of just what is this world? Trying all the things hitting rock bottom within that phase, but having this realization of, whoa, people are living completely different than I was raised. And I want to share a moment where I did have a little glimpse into this, like, up this idea of people living differently and things being different. Things could be different for me than what I had seen growing up my whole life, my whole family, our extended family, you know, there's probably like 40 of us. My mom has five sisters. I was told that we were all just overweight genetically. And, you know, my, they were all about 100 pounds overweight, like very overweight. So when I was younger, I remember sitting at the table with my aunts and uncles and family, and they said, oh, you're just, you're going to be overweight your whole life. This is how it is. This is who we are. And in that moment, I thought, God, does, does it have to be this way for me? I loved fitness. I, you know, I, I, I loved watching fitness. I didn't do it yet, but I actually watched it on tv. I was obsessed with it. And I think I was obsessed with it because when I would see those women, like, exercising or bouncing around on screen, I was like, they must feel so confident in their body. They must, they so powerful. Like, I just thought that if they looked that way, they must feel good about themselves. And so I had, when I was about 14 years old, I had made friends with another girl in a congregation that was about two hours away from me. And so this meant that when I would go stay at her house, we would stay for like, A week at a time. And this was the first time away for a week. And so I went to their house, and what ended up happening is I'll never forget it. It was like, night one. And I'm like, when do we get all the snacks? Like, when do we eat Ice cre? When are we going to sit on the couch and, like, you know, eat all the good stuff? And she's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, where are all the snacks? Where's your snack drawer? She's like, we don't do that. Do you want an apple? And I was literally like, an apple. Like, no. So, long story short, I end up eating really healthy for this whole week. I go home, and I had lost five pounds. My clothes were big on me. This was the first time I had ever lost weight in my life. Even though I had been on diets with my family, I, you know, had tried all these different things, but I had the realization in that moment at 14 years old that people lived. If you lived differently, you could get a different result in that maybe it wasn't my genetics, that maybe it was my choices. So when I moved out, I got really conscious about learning about what this other way of eating could be. What started happening is I lost weight, I got more fit, and I started to feel better. I started to feel less anxious. I actually started to feel more confidence. And so my whole world kind of started to be opened up by this realization that maybe our limits, like our limiting beliefs about ourselves and what we've been told our whole life is just the result of our actions that we're taking and who we're around. So it wasn't like this light bulb went off and I started living completely differently and everything. It was these little perspective shifts and moments. Moment. So what I hope that through this podcast, through my podcast, through books, is that if we can show people our story of where we were and where we're going, that maybe they can borrow that belief or they can borrow that perspective or that idea of we can share how we're living, and they could potentially do that and get a totally different result.

So I. I love that you started with this, Lori, because I think I saw it's so important. Today's. Today's world, and there's so much comparison. There's so much. There's so much vitriol. There's so much. All of that going on and beliefs that, hey, this is what I'm destined to be. But the fact is that you said a couple of things and I want to make sure that they all catch it. One is. I think that the reality is which one you were talking about. The idea of our environment has an impact. Those that we surround ourselves with, that's 1, 2. The choices we make, then we have the freedom of making choices. It doesn't mean that they're easy or simple. It means that we might have a bigger boulder and a steeper hill to push it up, but it doesn't mean we can't make it. And then three, I think it's no matter what the circumstance or the age or stage, with that choice, we can almost change things.

Mm. Absolutely. Your. Your environment is stronger than your willpower. And I really believe that the environments that we put ourselves in, we will become. So this could be negative, right? That's why parents are always like, I don't want my kid hanging out with that kid. But it works the same with positive people. So it's like, oh, I want to hang out with them, because I will become like them. And if we would just think that with everyone that we're always making these decisions around or that we're making decisions to spend time with, you will change. It's funny when. When Chris and I had first got together and we really started, or when we were first married and we kind of started doing that thing that you do when you're, like, looking for couple friends, you know, and you kind of, like, go and try these different people out, and we go on these dates with these other couples. And I remember sitting across the table from this couple that was just, like, nitpicking each other and completely complaining, and we were having the most miserable time with this couple. And we got in the car and we were like, never again. Here's why. Like, number one, we had a miserable time. Number two, we hang out with them enough, we're going to start being the same way, because how do you think we're going to try to connect to them? I'm going to start complaining about Chris. He's going to start complaining about me. And let's say I go out with, you know, the woman, and we're by ourselves without the guys. Guess what we're probably going to do? Start feeding into each other's stories of why our guys are schmucks and we don't want to see them anymore or hang out with them. So those were. Those were the moments of, like, wow, this really affects everything that we do. We become the people that we're around and what we're listening to and what we're watching. And so if we can just work really hard to change all of that, what could actually happen?

So good. So good. I'm so glad that you didn't know Stephanie and I in our first year of marriage then.

Because. Because it was hard. I mean, I got married.

We.

We. I get married later. You know, I was like 50, so it was like, you know, set in my ways.

And yes, totally.

It's. It's crazy. Like, the first time she cooked dinner for Jeremy and I, we don't know. We show up to the dinner table with no shirts on, and she's looking at us going, what the heck is this? I think I'm humorous. I said, you can join us. And she, like, she goes, oh, no. No dinner unless you go upstairs and get dressed. You know, world just changed. Yep.

Don't get me wrong, our first year of marriage was also pretty ugly. So.

Yeah. But here's the other thing that I want people to understand. You've actually. Not that you were trying to escape it, but you've transcended it. You've grown from that original beginnings. The. The what. What may be limiting in the sense of belief, environment, thought process, because it's. It's hard when. If you can't. If you don't see possibility in your life, then it's hard to strive. It's hard to go for more. It's hard to. To do that. And so there was that point where you were sitting back saying, oh, there's more. But that means that you're trying to escape the gravitational pull of history of that past environment. And so many people today are sitting back with that same gravitational pull in their finances, in their money, in their relationships, even in their health. How did you kind of navigate and say, how do I find that power to escape that and to keep on going towards something that you felt you were meant for more?

This is one of. You know, honestly, this is one of the hardest questions, and some of the things that I'm going to share, I. I think the things that make change are not always the easiest things to hear. And, Mel, I know that you know this because when you had to change your health, the answer to changing your health is not the answer that you probably wanted.

Right.

And so the answer to this question is that sometimes we have to really assess who we're around. And sometimes if the most negative people are our family or our loved ones, we do have to figure out a way to limit our time with them. And so for me, especially because, you know, the religion that I was in, Was so.

It was just. It was very strict. And it was like, if you don't believe these things, then you are no longer allowed to talk to these people. And so for me, that was really, really hard because I was making a choice of potentially not seeing my family again for a really long time or ever, right?

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And. And so when I was in the midst of doing that, I also knew I had this ability that I want. If you guys don't have this ability, you can borrow it, you can learn it, everyone can do this. But I had an ability at a young age to say, if I keep living this way or keep making these choices, what is my life going to look like in five or 10 years? And it wasn't that I could just see it. I actually can even say it out loud and feel it. And I was like, oh, this is not going to be good for me. I'm going to be anxious. I'm not going to, you know, my health is going to deteriorate. I'm not going to like my life. I'm not going to be myself. I'll never know what it was like to become the person that I'm meant to be in this world. I'll never live out my dreams. I'll never be with the partner that I want. I'll never have the relationships and the conversations. Conversations and the fulfillment. And I think this is a really powerful place to be. And I never want to rob people of the future pain that is waiting for them if they don't make the decisions that are hard to become the person that they are meant to be. And some people are like, well, that's harsh. But I actually think that that is one of the most motivating things that we can do is think of the pain in which we're going to be living in if we don't change. The things that are making us feel suppressed, the things that are keeping us from living the life that we're meant to live where we could really be impacting so many people. I mean, Mel, you know, if you didn't become the Mel that you are now, who would be missing out? So many people would be missing out. Their lives would not be changed by you, your story, all of these things. So I. I want to share that the life that's waiting for you is so much better than what you could possibly imagine. But with that said, I want to back track and say, yes, limiting sometimes the amount of time that we're spending with our loved ones and spending kind of like filtering it out. It's almost, It's. It's almost the idea of crowding out with. When you're making a healthy lifestyle, they say instead of picturing taking things away or out of your diet, picture putting more good in. So, like, what good, healthy things can you add in? What good, healthy habits can you add in? Because what happens when you add these amazing people in, when you add these, these, you know, these networking groups or these events that you could go to that are positive, or when you add in these, you know, maybe these workout classes that you start going to, what happens? Is it naturally kind of crowds out the amount of time that you're spending with these other people? So that's naturally what will happen. But the answer is, how do you do it? You have to change your environment at the same time as you change the people that you're spending the most time with. Because if I go away and I go to an event that Mel is putting on for the weekend, and I want to change my life, right? And I go and I'm listening to Mel's podcast and I go to this event and I feel so good. But I come back to the same week with the same people telling me that it's impossible. And every single day, I'm spending so much time with them. And they don't think it's possible for them. You know, they say, we're, we're broke. We'll always be broke. That's for those types of people. Not for us. We're poor. We don't get those opportunities, those rich jerks, those people, whatever. What am I going to believe after one week, I'm going to go right back to where I was. So it's this idea of crowding out, of spending more time with the positive people. And what's going to happen is that slowly people are going to kind of reveal themselves or say, like, you know, I don't. I don't want to be with you anymore. You're no fun. You don't drink. You don't do this, you don't do that. Not that you have to stop drinking, because I still drink, but maybe you don't drink as much or, you know, you're not. You're not the same. And I think that when we are on the path to our dream life or whatever that means to you, I think that the thing that you will know if you are not on the right path is if people aren't telling you that you've changed. And I think that changes. I think change is such a good Thing when people say you've changed, that's that moment that you can. You can be proud of yourself going, oh, they noticed. Thank God.

God, I love this because. And I love the idea. It's like that, that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where he's taking that sand and he's trying to replace it. You can't just remove things and then you have this hole that. And I think that's one of the reasons that people go back to.

Their old ways, because they say, well, I'm going to stop doing those things. But they don't replace it with anything that moves them forward.

Yes.

And.

But yes, I think about that a lot, actually, because I think about the if your only joy. Because I, I did so much with fitness and food and changing my life. And so then when I did that and, and I had opened a gym later on and worked with clients, I had to figure out what I did to teach them what the heck worked. So I put so much thought into this, this realization of what our current joy is. If we don't learn how to replace it with other things that are healthy and really start to learn what joy actually is simultaneously to this, then we're going to go right back to our old joys. We just are. We're human. We want that satisfaction. So there's a couple of things there that, I mean, it's so key what you said, because I. I had to figure out some other things that I liked that are joyful. So maybe it was like, oh, I. I didn't realize. I liked this workout class of dancing because I get to move my body and I'm starting to look forward to this and I like the people there. But also really reframing what joy was. So instead of going, oh, joy is this chocolate bar right now, or joy is when I get to go drink on the weekends and have a bender and go to TACO Bell at 2:00am Going, wait, is that actually joy? Because a couple hours later or the next morning, I am in a lot of pain. So let's really start looking at what true joy is and how true joy actually feels on the front end. Right. Like a lot of my joy right now, I know I'm gonna feel a little resistance around just like, you know, Mal, before I speak on stage. It's one of the most joyful, happy things that I could possibly do in my life. It brings me more fulfillment than I can possibly say. But leading up to it is not joyful.

I'm with you putting it together.

Thinking of, like, all the things that could go wrong, and, oh, my God, is this good? I don't know if this is good. And the resistance that comes around, maybe getting on the plane to go there, all of the nerves that come with it, are people gonna like me? Is this gonna suck? Like, that is not joyful. But ultimately, when we're done, that is the ultimate joy, right? Fulfillment. Being on stage, pushing yourself to a limit that maybe you haven't been before, pushing your past, pushing yourself past that fear. That is what joy is. Joy comes from, you know, joy is the result of doing things in your life that are maybe perceived as challenging. Joy are things that come from true, deep connection. Joy are the things that move you closer to the person you're here to be, that move you closer to your creator, that move you closer to the people that you love. And it was just really taking that time in my life to reframe what that was and actively work on it.

And I think that's the key. You know, Chris talks about money, I talk about money. You talk about money, too. And, you know, and one of the things that they say, oh, you're going to tell me what not to do? I go, no, I'm actually not. I just want you to be cautious. I want you to be aware, and I want you to be intentional. And if you're willing to make those choices intentionally and consciously, go for it. I mean, whether it's diet, whether it's relationships, I mean, you can have a situation, even in a relationship, where I can choose to say, how do I have this discussion in a way that she feels heard and loved in the process? Or, I'm just going to try and be right, and I'm going to go at it. And in the process, you do damage that's hard to come back from.

And it truly is a choice.

Oh, my gosh. Speaking of, like, going to the future to make choices and just piggybacking off of relationships, Chris and I. Chris and I had this moment where, you know, we used to, like, our fights would. Our fights would last longer, right? Like, maybe a fight that's so stupid. We would just snowball and it would build up and maybe it even lasts a couple days or a week. When we were first married and we had a couple of these epiphanies where we're like, okay, so if the end result that we want is to stay married and enjoy living underneath the same roof, why are we extending this fight? And it's those moments of fast forward to the future and just see what you you start learning quickly what you would rather do in that moment. Because the realization of, oh, God. I mean, we're just going to extend the pain. To what? Extend the pain and end up still with each other. Like, this is stupid. How can we. How can we make this. How can we get over this faster? How can we get back to where we want to be?

You know, I. I talk a lot about this idea of living a rich life versus a wealthy and rich life being how we experience it, how we feel it. And I, And I love the idea that you're. You're talking about is that. But we're so caught up in this instant gratification and the moment and this net, we don't think about, what is this going to do in a year, 10 years, five years.

Down the road? And if we did, would we make the same decision? Would we do that? And to examine what that looked like. I had a sweet tooth when I got diagnosed with the cancer. And they said, sugar promotes the cancer. And I said, well, we gotta stop it because. And they said, was that hard for you? I go, no, I mean, it really wasn't because of the association.

Of what it meant. Cancer meant. I mean, sugar meant cancer meant I lose my bladder. Losing my bladder certainly didn't sound fun. So, yeah, I stopped sugar. I said, we're done.

Yeah.

You know, you had a very real. Like, you had a moment of. This is actually what you're facing right now. And I think that we make it. We can. What we do so well in this country is pretend like things aren't going to happen. Like, there's a great question. What are you pretending not to know? Right. It's like I'm pretending not to know that my sugar habit is going to. To potentially cause cancer down the road or that it could. Right? Or that it could cause other things, or that it could cause diabetes or I could lose my limbs or just all of these crazy things that we pretend not to know every single day. And so, you know, that's a question that I. I have. I ask sometimes on my podcast, and I ask myself, like, ooh, what am I pretending not to know right now? Like, what's something that I'm doing that I'm pretending isn't going to bring me this result that's going to bring me some serious pain. I don't even. I haven't asked myself it lately, but, man, it's no fun.

Man. I can imagine what that question's like. I mean, the answers when you start to ask those questions because you've been on a journey. I want to fast forward a little bit because I think it's important. We're in a situation right now where, where people are looking at the economy and they're saying, oh, God, you know, is it recession? The market dropped, you know, 500 points today, and what do we do? And there was a time in your life where Chris had to have a conversation with you, a hard conversation. You had to examine your life from a financial standpoint and say, how do we, how do we navigate this financially? But more importantly, how do we stay together and come together in the process of navigating a difficult time? Can you take us back to that and kind of walk us through some of those. Those, those things?

Yeah. Okay. So there was a lot of difficult times. Talking about the one where we lost everything pretty much. Okay.

Okay. So this was 2007, 2008, and he was in the banking industry, and he was the breadwinner at the time.

I had not and still have not ever graduated high school. So you can imagine that my, my personal story in my head was.

I'm not smart. I can't get, you know, all I'm going to be able to do is these, like, retail jobs that I had been doing.

And I just thought that I was not going to be able to ever fulfill on my dreams ever. I was, I would complain to Chris all the time and I'd be like, I, you know, I'm. I would say I'm. I'm not smart enough to even get my ged. I'm never going to be able to do these things. I'll never reach my dreams. And I remember, like, literally crying to him all of the time. And so what ended up happening is I would just bounce around and get all of these different jobs. I would, you know, I was a barista a few times. I did makeup. I. I worked at the front desk of a hair salon. I just did all of these random jobs that I would lie about on the resume and say that I had a high school diploma and pray that they never asked me for it. And so when Chris lost his job, when the recession hit in whatever that was, 2007, 2008, he came home and it was like, oh, my God, the breadwinner of the family. We were living way beyond our means. We were about $300,000 in debt. We were about to short sell our house. We lost our home. We lost our cars. And this was a moment where it was like, like, my husband is also in pain. He's lost his identity. He doesn't know what he's going to do. It went from this guy who had all the confidence in the world, made incredible money, to, like, he was a shell of a human being. I truly did not know who I was looking at. And it was a moment for me where I was like, oh, my God, I am going to have to step up and figure this out. And, you know, growing up, my parents had gone bankrupt, so we had already. I had already gone through this. Like, I'd already seen all of this, and I had a moment, and it's like, internally, rock bottom can be the best thing that you've ever experienced. It's like I just snapped. I was like, this is not happening again. I can't ever. I'm not going to let this happen. This is. That's what I said to Chris. I said, this is never happening to us again. And so I think what happened in that moment is I just opened up my mind to possibility. I was like, what can we do? Instead of saying, why is this happening? Why is this happening? I noticed that the entire conversation in my head is, what can we do? Where can we go? Who can I talk to? Like, what's out there? What are the opportunities? Other people haven't gone to college, they haven't graduated, and they've made money. Who are they? Where are they? And so this world of opportunity opened, and what came into my realm was actually network marketing through a client of mine. And, you know, I think all of a sudden, your ears perk up when you're desperate. Which, if we could just. If we could literally just embrace that all of the time and be always open to opportunities, you'd be. You'd be astounded by what is around you every single day. If you started listening from that perspective of anything is possible. What are people doing to make money? And I'm able to do this, too, right? Whether you feel like you can or you can't, I just had this moment of, I can figure it out. I can ask the questions, I can find the people who could help me. I'll figure it out. Right? That just became our motto, actually. Our motto became. We said it one day around a walk. I don't know where it came from. I'm guessing, God, but it was. We got to get bigger than the problem. We're not. We're going to stop. We're going to stop backing down. And instead, we're never going to go backward. We're never going to back down. We're always going to get bigger than the Problem. What does that look like to get bigger than the problem? So, you know, that was a time where I remember how I felt about network marketing, marketing pre before we lost everything. I was like, oh, hell no, I'm not doing that. Like, people don't get invited to Christmas. Who. Who do that stuff, right? And then I was like, oh, I'm all ears. Tell me how to do this. Tell me how to make money. I want to know all about this opportunity. And that's really when our life started to change, is when we hit rock bottom and started looking at life through those lenses.

And, you know, fast forward to today. Network marketing took us a little while to build, so nothing, nothing was ever overnight. And from network marketing, it was kind of like, you know, it's. It's business boot camp. It was one of the most amazing business boot camps of my life because you learn so much about business and people and networking and money, and you have to get right with money. You have to have a great money story to keep. Keep your money. Yeah, but that. That was the beginning of this whole different life that we're living now.

And it's truly amazing. I mean, I know I met Chris before you. He saw me speak at a Brendan Burchard event.

But the one thing that ex. That I've always seen with both of you is the level of positivity, the level of dynamic energy that you bring to people in the sense of no matter what's going on, it's like, all right, let's look at it. Let's figure this thing out, that kind of thing to come from where you started. You know, basically you were allowed to socialize with 100 people to where you are today. And the example you set on how you show up and whether we talk about money or whether we talk about relationships or health, it comes down to that, how you show up in life in all those aspects, because if we're not going to make those choices.

We'Re not going to have that. And you, both of you.

Do some very deliberate things, I think. You do your afternoon walks where you connect. You do your Power nine. You do. You do so many things that are so intentional that you grew into that.

Keep you on track no matter what's going on. Because you all live a life that is in constant state of motion. I mean, if people follow you when they follow you, all should be following them. But you'll see them. She's on stages, and then they got. They got the two puppies, and they got family, and she's got one of the best podcasts out there that will make sure. I'm going to have her talk about it in a bit. She's impacting us. She's a CEO and a founder of a beverage company that she's working on, and she's been working on it through Covid and all the craziness with that, yet now I may not see it all the time. There's always a smile. There's always that positive energy. There's always.

That joy that you so talked about. And so what are some of the. Maybe because people that might be struggling or feeling like they would need to make this transition and everything. What are some of the. Maybe the rituals or the things that they can do to. To. To move through or at least get them in motion down that. Down that road.

Oh, man. Well, thank you so much for that. I definitely am not smiling all the time, but I try to work on it. You know what? We have a mutual friend, Brendan Burchard, and I've learned so much from him about energy. You know, I used to be like, oh, maybe I'm not a happy person. And, you know, I. I'm anxious, I'm depressed. And it was like, no, we choose our energy, and we're. The. We're. We. Jet energy comes from choosing to generate it, not from waking up and going, oh, I'm an energetic person because I really have drilled. I've drilled Brendan down. I'm like, no, it seems like you wake up happy and this is who you are. And he's like, no, I choose it, and I really reset it. And I'm like, you know, at first I didn't want to believe it because I'm like, I don't. I can't. I. I just. I don't believe it. I believe this is how he is, but when I actually started to believe.

I've seen him when he first wakes up, not that we were in the same hotel room, but he does choose it.

And that is. That's what's empowering to me is knowing, like, that's what we need to understand, is that you might look at Brendan, you might look at Mel, you might look at me and go, no, they're just that way. No, we are not. There are plenty of people that I could refer you to who know I am not like this all the time, that I do actually have to have these things in place. Like Mel just said, the power nine. It's three gratitudes, three excited abouts, and three manifests. And I promise you, before Chris and I do the Power nine in the morning on our walk. I'm not all gung ho. I'm kind of probably stuck in a little bit of anxiety or, oh, I should have done that. I didn't get this done. I, you know, I. I want to be a better daughter. I want to be a better partner. I. Oh, I need to be a better friend. I can't believe I forgot that person's birthday. All of the normal things that are in your head that pull the energy out of you, right? Every thought that I just said is not an energy generator. It's an energy extractor. Like, you literally, you know, when you. When you. Even when I said those things, I felt energy leaving my body. So we have to do these activities that make you energized. You know, this. This became so real to me when I got into health and fitness and especially when I started competing because the. The workout routine got more intense and the energy did not. Right? Because as. Especially as you start getting closer to a competition, kind of like the. The food and calories goes down, but the workout goes up. So guess what happens? Your energy is really low. So I noticed this a lot when I would kind of be, like, doing the routine right in the mirror, and all of a sudden I'd be. I'd feel good and a good song would be on, and all of a sudden a negative thought would enter my head and my head would drop. I'd look at the floor, the weight would feel extra heavy. I'd be like, oh, I just want to sit down. So I started to notice the correlation of a negative thought literally drains your body like a battery of that energy. So the importance of what your daily routines are and reminders that are in your routines to get you into a place where you're choosing positive thoughts to generate them. So this is when I was like, what do we. What do we have to have in place to make sure we keep resetting? Right? Is it a walk? Because I know when I sit for more than four hours, I start to get really grumpy, really frustrated. I am a very, like, you know, I need to be moving type of person. And if I'm not, if I'm in a chair, if I'm doing zoom for a long time, it's a guaranteed crabby, no energy. I'm not going to get the best out of myself. So having those things in place is the only way to get to where you want to go, to be a positive person, to generate the energy, to have these reminders to, you know, associate with people. Like Mel, like Brendan, like Chris, like my friend Lindsay Schwartz. Like, I know that they're going to bring the energy to me so I can't show up. Like, it's not like I'm not accepted if that's the state I'm in and I need to talk about it. But it is going to be more expected that if they're going to show up for me, that I need to show up for them. So having the practices and the people in place to hold you to a higher standard, I love this.

I mean, if I looked at the path that we've gone is like environment, choice, fill the void. I mean, all of these things and then having the rituals.

It'S a big deal and it's going to change some things.

Tell me, I know that I could talk to you forever and we've been going a little while, but tell me, what do you experience excited about right now that's going on in your life that you've got coming up that, that we should know about? And then also I want to, I want to make sure that we share about your, your show.

Okay. What am I excited about? Oh, there's a few things I am excited that I feel like I'm coming out of a winter that was about two and a half to three years and nobody would have really known that except externally. And, and I think that that is really interesting if you are, you know, life is all seasons and we always want summer in life, but that just doesn't make a good, rich life. And it certainly doesn't make a life where you're evolving into the person that you want. So I am excited that I have learned, still learning to embrace more of the winter season. And I can now see which. This was the longest winter of my life, meaning the hardest season I've ever been through in my life. But I can see why it needed to last as long as it did now that I'm starting to get out of it and I'm really grateful for it. So with that said, I'm excited about a company that I'm building that started as a alcohol and nonalcoholic wine spritz company that is now pivoting into the health space as a hydration company with benefits. So I'm very excited about that. I can now see why we pivoted. I can see all the things, but in the middle of it, I could not. All I could see was pain and losing my margins and money. And now I see the evolution of how things really work and sometimes why you're brought down a path that. That makes no sense in the middle of it. And why these things that we all talked about, Mel, are so important to have these practices in place, because I don't know where I would be or what I'd be doing without them, without the people in the practices. It's the only thing that pulled me through some major anxiety, depression, and feeling like a major, major failure for a good, solid year.

Yes. Yeah.

So I can laugh about it now, but that is what I'm very, very excited about. I'm excited about my podcast. I'm excited about my relationships. I'm excited to be challenged in a way that is bringing fulfillment.

So good. So good. It is really interesting, you know, when you're in the heat of battle, like, you were going through it. I was going through a different battle at the same time you were going through it, and you can't make sense of it, and you need to find some space and some white space away from it before you can start to go, oh, I get the message now. I got. I understand. I mean, I understand why the cancer came. At least I believe I do. You know, the same thing. That there was obstacles put in your place, that it's because you needed. You needed that resistance to create the muscle to move to the next stage.

That's, you know, and I love. I love what you just said. I just want to. For anyone who's like, oh, I'm still. I think I have the answer, but I'm not sure. It's like, we're always just choosing the answer. Right? Like, we have to make. It's like we have to find the positive and decide that that's why. And, you know, with you, Mel, you're like, I think I know, and I know that you know, but it's like you've made the decision that that is why, like, this is going to be a positive thing in my life. I'm just choosing that this is why. Because you could say, I don't know why. And I. I'm going to look at it like it's negative or whatever that is. And I think at any point of anything negative, no matter how negative it's been, no matter how dark it's been, we do get to choose that maybe that happened, even just to help somebody else who's going through it. Right. And. And we have to, like, we have to almost com. Not almost. We have to commit to it. Okay.

Yeah.

If this is positive and it's going to impact our life in a positive way, we're going to choose this, and we're never going to look back, and we're not going to go back and go, but why? No, that is why. I'm sticking to it and I'm moving.

Forward, you know, And I. I started to rethink this whole question of why. Because when I was looking for a why behind me, it felt a whole lot like trying to find a place to blame a thing, a something, a who, an act or something. But when I decided to look for the why in front of me, it gave me the freedom to decide to define, to. To create the why in the future for my present. And I think that was.

That is if you haven't written that down, if you haven't done a quote or a reel on that, Mel.

I haven't, but we will.

Yeah. Don't look for the why behind you. Look for the why in front of you. Just reminding you of your genius that you just said.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it's so good. So I. But I think that's. That's the key, because if we think back on what you said, you looked forward and said, what's going to happen? Well, if that's not what I want to happen, what do I need to do? Make the future different. I'm going to change it. And I think that's the beautiful things. So here's the thing I want. I mean, like I said, I could talk to you forever, and we do. We'll do it over. We'll do it over a meal next time.

Yes.

Or a beach walk with the dogs.

Yes. Although, just wait. Just wait till the three of them get together. I don't know if we'll be talking or scrambling.

I did tell Stephanie. I said all the good training we've done will go out the window in the hands and the paws of bonkers and bananas. Us.

Mel, you're not going to believe this. We're sending him to camp for five weeks.

Oh, my God.

So they need to get together before that.

Good, good. So tell them. Tell. Tell the listeners, the viewers, where do they find out more about Lori and what she's doing, the greatness, the goodness that you're bringing to the world, because there's just so much goodness with what you do and how you show up to people.

Well, Mel, you're coming on the podcast, so that'll be a fun one for everybody to listen to. So that is earn your happy. Truly. It's kind of like my therapy with a microphone in front of me, so. But. But the podcast has been such A gift in my life because I can be mildly introverted. And it is. It's been the best way to force me to connect and show up. Talking about things that make you show up. My podcast literally has been that for me. So just really great, real conversations that have impacted my life in a huge way. So that's, That's a great place. And also just Instagram, I like to share my life on Instagram.

Good, good, good. And, and, and she does. And I think that there's some, some really good, good messages out there. It's. It's something. So for those of you that are listening, watching, follow Lori. We'll make sure we hook it up in the show notes.

Subscribe to her podcast. Get in her sphere, in her circle. Your life will be better for it. She's been on a journey. She's seen it through ups and downs as she understands how to navigate this in a way that allows her to shine for other people. She's a shining light, so get in that light. Thank you. Thank you, Laurie, for being here. It's. It's a. You're. You're a blessing and a gift to Stephanie and I and all the listeners, but mostly Stephanie, I. Because we adore you guys.

So grateful for you. Literally, any time I can spend with you recording. Not recording. Eating. Not eating. But let's make sure we eat.

Yes, let's do that.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks for being here. We'll talk soon. See ya. Thank you for listening to the affluent entrepreneur show with me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the affluent entrepreneur Facebook group now by going to melabraham.com group and I'll see you there.

And that's it for this episode of Building your money machine, where we help you learn how to master your money, eliminate financial stress, and live a life of choice. If you found this valuable or helpful to you, here's what I'd love for you to do. If you do me a favor, go to Apple, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening to this podcast and rate and review the show. It helps us tremendously to keep us at the top of the list so we can continue to get this information and this message out to people. Because I truly believe that financial freedom is your birthright, and I want to help each and every one of you claim it. Thanks so much.