TES 075 - How to Communicate Effectively

Hey there, real quick before we jump into the episode, listen, if your earnings treadmill hasn't set you free yet, running faster won't either. Listen, hustle without principles just going to burn you out. So here's what I want for you. I want you to join me for my money machine experience live. It is three free trainings. Deep dive into how to escape the treadmill and build a money machine that actually works for you. All right, grab your spot here by going to moneymachinelive.com and I'll see you in the free training. Hey there, Mel Abraham here, the author of the number one best selling book the Entrepreneur's Solution and the founder of Thoughtpreneur Academy where we teach you how to capture, package and monetize what you know, the ideas, the insights that you have, the unique perspective that can change people's lives so you can have greater impact, income and more freedom. And welcome back to this episode of the Entrepreneur Solution show. And in this episode we're we're going to talk about how to communicate effectively. How do you shift people's thinking? How do you get them to start shifting how they think about things? And I'm going to introduce you to a framework that I call the communication pathways. That when you get a command of this, when you get an understanding of this, you have the capacity and the ability to navigate communication, whether it's negotiation, whether it's speaking, whether it's with a spouse. I mean, think about this, a spouse, a loved one, a child to understand the different ways, the path to get your point across to shift someone's mind. And so that's what we're going to walk through in this episode. And if you want to get the downloadable framework and everything, the communication pathways, just go to melabraham.com session075 and you can download it there. Or if you're not at your computer and you happen to be running around, just text me mylegacy one word to 38470. I'll make sure that I send you the download link and get you going. So let's get on with it. Let's touch on this whole thing about shifting people's thinking, how to communicate effectively. Now why is this important? And I know for me, I didn't get this straight. Listen, I'm a left brain thinker. I'm a cpa, an accountant. So I am into columns and rows and numbers and analysis and data and all those stuff, statistics. And what I didn't get when I was going through school, when I first Started going into this is that I thought the numbers were the only thing that mattered. And the actual thing is that the numbers actually don't matter at all. It's the communication of what the numbers tell you to the people that it matters to. So the communication, to me, is one of the greatest skills that we can nurture because we can move people, we can shift people, we can motivate people, we can effectively change societies, change communities, change dynamics, we can change global change because of our ability to communicate. So if we don't get this right, the challenge is that we're never hurt. Now think about this. Now, you may not be in business or you may be in business. This can be in a business context. It can be in a personal context. If you're in a relationship or you're a parent, think about what it's like when. When you're not heard. If we don't get the skills right, if we don't understand the communication pathways that exist, we're not heard. And when we're not heard, guess what? We're not going to get anywhere with the things that we're trying to kind of get out there. And if we're not heard, the other thing is that we have no impact. It means that the challenge is that we're not getting them to change their behavior. Remember, the idea behind thoughtpreneurship, thought leadership, is that I want to take people from one state to another state. In other words, I want to get behavior change. And the way we get behavior change is to get thought change first. And the way we get thought change is understanding the communication pathway. So we need to have an impact on them with the way we communicate. And if we don't get that right, we ultimately end up not being fulfilled because we're struggling all the time. We're not getting our point across. We're not getting our insights across. We're not having meaningful conversations and discussions that move us in a direction that would fulfill us. Here's the cool thing that when we do get this right, it's music to our ears. You know, when we start to have a dialogue that's meaningful, when we see that our points are resonating with the people we're talking to, that it's moving them to emotion, to change, to action, to doing things differently, to doing things. Or maybe not doing things differently, maybe doing the same thing, but doing more of it, Whatever it is. Maybe it's just simply getting your kid to clean up their room, or you're negotiating a big deal, it becomes music to your ears because all of a sudden it's resonating in the point. You get a chance in the process to shift people's thinking. The idea is to get some lights to go on. The idea is to get them to see things maybe from a different perspective, maybe from a different ideal. It's not about maybe we're going to change their mind, but maybe we just open them up just a little bit that maybe down the road things shift and change. So if we get it right, we get to shift people's thinking. And if we really get it right, we build a movement, people listen to us, people jump on board. And now what we have is an army of soldiers, a family unit that's going in the same direction based on values and alignment and congruency. Or maybe it's a team in your organization, whether it's a multi level network marketing organization and your downline, or maybe it's a big billion dollar company or multi hundred million dollar company or small startup that we get alignment and we build a movement to move them towards a specific goal. And so this whole thing is really, really important. It's the crux of your success. It's the crux of your being able to shift and build and move people to allow them and entice them if you will, to be part of your journey. So if that's the case, what do you need to know? What are the things that are really important that you need to know? So the first thing that you need to know is you need to forget your bias. We all come to a communication process with a bias. In other words, like I said earlier, I'm kind of a data guy. I'm a left brain thinker, I numbers. So I have a bias towards statistics and data, data and those types of logical processes that will create something in that way. And so I have had a tendency at one point to communicate from that perspective only. So what we need to do is evaluate where we are, what is our bias? Are we someone that.

Is focused on data or science or statistics? Is it focused on.

More process? What is your bias? And then forget it. Now I don't mean forget it completely. What I mean is that we need to make sure that we, we communicate beyond our bias. Because if we don't, then we're only going to touch a little bit of the audience. And if our audience happens to be one person, spouse, significant other, business partner, negotiation, and that isn't their bias.

You have a problem because their communication won't land. It's similar to if you haven't read it. It's a great book to read. Gary Chapman's Love Languages. In other words, if you communicate with a love language that isn't consistent with your partner's love language, although you think you're showing love, they don't receive it in the proper way. So the key to it, and you hear this in nlp, is that.

The effectiveness of your communication is the results you get. And the fact of the matter is that I believe that communication isn't a two way street, it's a one way street. In other words, it's my responsibility to get my point across. It's my responsibility to communicate effectively. If they don't get it, it's not their fault, it's mine. So I need to communicate beyond my bias to move through it. The second thing to realize is that I need to touch all. In other words, I need to understand all of the biases, all of the different perspectives and preferences that are out there, and I need to touch all of them because I don't know who's in my audience, especially if I'm publicly speaking in a big venue or I have a group of people because I don't know everyone there. Now, if one on one, I may really understand what's driving that person and it may drive it home. But the four, the pathways, the communication pathways will help you with this. And then the third thing is you got to use the right tools. Each type of bias, each type of pathway has different tools to bring it to life. And so that, so you need to understand the tools. I'm not going to be able to get into all the tools in this session, but we'll at least get you to understand the pathways to do that. So that's what you need to know. I need to get rid of my bias. I need to touch all. In other words, I need to be able to be full spectrum and I need to use the right tools. So how do we do it? Well, let's talk about the communication pathways and once again talk about the communication pathways. I'm going to jump to my iPad. We're going to draw this out for you. We're going to walk you through the communication pathway so you understand what drives them and the types of traits that each pathway has so you can communicate to them in their, if you will, love language in their bias in their language, per se. All right, so let's jump to the iPad and let's get rolling. And now to help you out. This will help you out if you focus on one idea, one Insight, one concept that you want to get across to someone and not some global element to begin with. Just so you understand this, because there's going to be different things that you want to deal with from time to time. And I'm going to ask you to consider the different communication pathways for each and every insight that you come up with. So we're going to start off with an insight.

Now it could be like for instance, for me, one of the big things that I say is work, life balance is a myth. So that might be the insight that I'm trying to, to talk about. Now the interesting thing is that you've got four different communication pathways. Now you are going to find that in many cases you have a tendency or a bias to one or two of them. But we need to learn to communicate in all four to make sure that our point hits home, make sure that we grab the whole audience and it allows you to navigate and flow from one, one or the other when you do this up front and understand it. So the first is the one that I was talking about with myself. And that is a data wonk, I call them a data wonk. This is the person.

That is a much more detailed.

Thinker.

Down on the bottom versus a much.

Bigger thinker here at the top.

So what happens here is that we need to realize that we've got the levels of thinking that we're trying to navigate. We're trying to make sure that they understand and that we communicate with them. So if I'm dealing with a detailed thinker like myself, an analyst, someone that, that is looking at data, I want to see data, I want to see proof, I want to see these things. So if you talk about something that's really conceptual and it's a big picture stuff, it may not grab me and that becomes a problem. So I need to be able to communicate that. The other thing is to realize that detail thinkers or people such as myself, we're typically.

Our choices are made from a low emotion.

Standpoint versus some people.

Make more emotional decisions. Now there's a, there's. Now this is a. What I would like you to do is think about this not as an absolute, but as a spectrum. So we all have levels of emotion, we all have levels of thinking, we all have different levels and we move within them. But we need to, as a communicator, we need to communicate to all of them. And so how do we navigate that? It's to be aware of these folks. So data wonks, data wonks typically have the traits of being Very grounded, very systematic, very analytical. And there's a desire to see proof before they move or make a choice. So we need to make sure that we, we give them proof in dealing with that. The other part of that is that if I go over to this side here, you're dealing with what I call the storyteller. Because now we've moved.

Still at the detail level, but more emotional. I mean, think about it. When you talk, when you see someone that's telling stories, there's a lot of detail, there's a lot of life that comes to it. There's a lot of descriptive information and adjectives that allow you to see and be in that story. So there's a fair amount of detail and there's a whole lot of emotion because all of a sudden you see yourself in that story. So the typical storyteller is someone that's a relator.

They are typically, are much more memorable because of the stories they tell. And they are compelling because the story themselves is typically more compelling. So then we go, then we go up to.

The top, the top right. And the top right is what I call the visionary.

The visionary, they're high emotion and much more bigger thinker. I mean, you think about someone like an Elon Musk is a very visionary person, a very high emotion person in the sense that he instills emotions, he generates emotions out of people. People jump on the bandwagon with them. They're very passionate, they're very idealistic. They're people that will come to a thing, a problem, a situation, an issue with what my friend Brian Tracy calls zero based thinking. In other words, if we could do something, let's visualize what it would look like, how would we do it, and that type of thing. So I think it becomes important to understand that. And then the last communication pathway is what I call the architect.

This is the person that you'll see drawing things out. They're the builder, they're practical, they're trying to find simplicity on the other side of complexity, they're very visual in nature, logical in process. So you may see them using processes, you may see them using doodles and diagrams and things of that nature. So when you think about communicating, it becomes important to realize that you may have an audience that has a bias to one of these four. But by and large, in order to get your points across, to be able to speak to the big thinkers, to the detail thinkers, to the low emotion, to the high emotion, we need to build out our insights, our ideas, the things we know to Satisfy and bring in the data wonks, the storytellers, the visionaries and the architects. And when we do that, we're going to captive capture and captivate the whole audience in one of those different vices. But if you come in, like I said, mine is probably datawonk and architect is probably the two strongest ones. For me, if all I did was speak from that perspective, I'm not going to capture everyone. So when I first started to move away from the accounting and working with entrepreneurs and building thoughtpreneur practices and that type of thing, I needed to learn. I needed to learn how to work on the right side, to be able to bring vulnerability, to be able to bring emotion into it. Because I came from a world of bullet points. I came from the world of data, I came from a world of statistics. I came from a world where most of the people were in the audience, were the data wonks. So they loved the data and I could just be comfortable. I was. These were my people. But the fact of the matter is, if I want to communicate effectively, if I want to communicate more broadly, if I want to communicate and shift people's thinking, if I want to shift them into action, if I want to create movements, I need to have the flexibility to develop myself, to be able to speak, to communicate in the four different communication pathways. And so that really is the process. And like I said, the key here is to at least understand and identify that there are the four communication pathways, the architect, the visionary, the storyteller and the data wonk. And understand that maybe you have a bias to one or two of them. And to realize that we got to get rid of that bias and figure out how we can take our insights, our ideas, the ideals we have, the wisdom we have, and communicate it out in all four pathways to really make a difference. That's what's going to start to separate you. That's what's going to start to do the things you, you really are looking to do, to raise yourself up, as we talked in the last episode, to that authority level, to have that impact, focus, if we're going to look at it that way and to be able to be seen as the go to person because you are shifting minds, you are shifting thinking because you understood how to communicate more effectively. So let's do that. Let's go back in and now start to ask yourself what when you're going to communicate an idea, when you're going to communicate an insight, how do I communicate to the Architect? How do I communicate to the datawalk? How Do I communicate to the storyteller and how do I communicate to the visionary? Because when you do, things are going to open up. All right. I hope that you found this help to you. I hope you found this of value again. If you want to get a copy of this, if you really want to understand this, then just go to melabraham.com session075. You can download it. Or if you're out and about again, you can just send me a text, mylegacy1 word 38470 and I'll make sure I send you the download link. Do me a favor, let me know what you're thinking. Let me know what's going on with you. Let me know how I can help you. Let me know what you want to hear about next and we can, we can make sure that we get it up on one of the other episodes. Try to give you some tools, try to give you some templates to make it easier for you to shrink that learning curve to bring that to life. And if you have a specific question that you want to ask me, just go to askmelnow.com and leave me your question and we'll get to it. We'll make sure that we get to it. Do me a favor.

If you would share this with someone, share this with someone that maybe could use the tools to communicate more effectively. Because I really believe that communication will solve a lot of society's problems, will shift the dynamics of your relationships, your business, your success, everything you have in your life. And do one last thing. Subscribe. Hit the subscribe button right now. Stay with me. Make sure that you stay on this journey with me because I want to have a dialogue with you. I want to be there as your back pocket mentor. I want to be the one that can help you out if you have any questions. So you can post your questions. Leave me your questions, but subscribe. Stay with me. Share this and I look forward to you seeing you in the next episode. Until then, may your vision be grand, your journey epic, and your legacy significant. See you soon. Cheers. Bye.

We hope you enjoyed this episode. Make sure you subscribe so you get access to all of Mel's business and success stories. And if you like this episode, share it with a friend. If you have a specific business or success question, you can ask it at www.askmelnow.com. remember, it's all about being bold, dreaming big, and living life your way because the world needs you. Until the next episode, may your vision be grand, your journey epic, and your legacy significant.

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