Why The PERFECT Retirement Is Actually A Huge LIE

Hey there, real quick, before we jump into the episode, listen, if your earnings treadmill hasn't set you free yet, running faster won't either. Listen, hustle without principles just going to burn you out. So here's what I want for you. I want you to join me for my money machine experience. Live it is three free trainings. Deep dive into how to escape the treadmill and build a money machine that actually works for you. All right, grab your spot here by going to moneymachinelive.com and I'll see you in the free training. Curious. What if everything you've been told about retirement, saving, diligently following a plan, and securing that perfect life was a lie? You know, if you've ever felt the pressure of following the traditional retirement script only to wonder, what if it doesn't work out? Well, this episode's for you. Because the truth is this. You can do everything right, and you can still end up facing health struggles, financial losses, or unexpected setbacks. But here's the good news. You don't have to follow someone else's path to freedom. It's your path. It's personal finance that makes it personal to you.

Ever been told that if you work hard, save enough, follow the plan, you'll have the perfect retirement? Yeah. That's a lie. And I know that. I've said it in a sense, too. But I've lived this firsthand. Cancer, a Ponzi scheme. I did things. I did things the right way. At least I thought I did. You know, I played by the rules. I. I did what I was told to do. I did the math. And look, the fact of the matter is, life had other plans. And I know I'm not alone. You know, the idea of this perfect retirement, it's a fantasy because life isn't predictable. And clinging onto this illusion that, hey, I've got one way to go, and when I do all these things, everything's going to magically work out only sets people up for disappointment, not freedom. So the real path to financial independence, financial freedom, isn't about this perfect path to retirement. It's about adaptability. It's about resilience. It's about redefining success on your terms. And so I want to walk through some things today. This may be a little different of an episode, but it also may be some direct thought, tough love kind of understanding of what goes on in the world and how it should affect us and how we should deal with it. So let's just start with this whole myth of the perfect retirement. You know, Is it fantasy? Is it reality? What is it? Because society has sold us this retirement fairy tale, if you will, that if you work hard for 40 plus years, you save, you invest, you'll retire in comfort and live happily ever after. Okay, now maybe, maybe you could be a little more predictable with that. Especially when you were working for a company where they were going to provide you a pension, a lifetime of income if you just dedicated your years to them. Like my dad spent many, many years with the same company. And when he retired, he had a pension plan that paid him and my mom during their lifetimes after he was done working. But most companies don't have that anymore. And when you build a financial plan, you can't plan for everything. Life's just going to happen. You're going to have things like unexpected health issues. I mean, most chronic health issues. We certainly didn't plan for it. We didn't expect it. I didn't expect to be diagnosed with cancer. I didn't expect them to find a tumor in my bladder. I didn't smoke. I wasn't a drinker. I ate healthy. Yeah, I had a sweet tooth. I had all the. But it wasn't in the plan. You know, it wasn't something. And life at the time when it happened was going well. I was flying all around the world and speaking and serving and doing things that I want, masterminding and consulting. And then it took a left turn, a U turn, if you will, because unexpected. And maybe you're dealing with that too and everything. Or maybe it's a divorce after decades of marriage that you didn't plan on or you were invested wrong and.

You lost. Lost money in a market crash or, or bad investments. I, I just have a conversation with, with a, a client that I was talking to who got into an investment against my.

My. And the investment turned out to be a scam, wiped out the majority of what they had. And I had told them not to do it and I told them if they were going to do it small, but they did it big and they lost big. And now they're in this situation trying to redefine their life and redefine their retirement and redefine the things that are going on. Maybe you had a business failure that wipes out years of your effort or in a situation where you've got aging parents or a family crisis that you need to take care of and you didn't plan on that. Like my mom, we just lost her in September and she had spent six and a half years on dialysis in A assisted living. She had a two bedroom apartment and everything. But in those last 18 months, her care and the required care was daily, you know, and hourly almost. And that cost over that six and a half years was over $850,000. You know, things we don't control, like inflation, that which is insidious to our wealth, that can make our retirement savings inadequate. The harsh truth is this. No matter how well you plan, no matter how much work I do, life doesn't care about my spreadsheets. Life doesn't care about your plans. Life's just going to happen. And instead of allowing it to destroy us, instead of allowing judgment, instead of allowing guilt, instead of allowing shame to come in, we need to think about it from a different perspective. Because you can do everything right and still face these challenges. You have the illusion that you have control. But we're taught that maybe discipline guarantees success. If you follow the steps, you're safe. And I don't know that. And I have a process and I believe in the process and I fully believe that it will keep you safe and it'll put you in the proper place. But does it mean that you'll actually have the specific life that you envisioned? And maybe not. Maybe you were meant for something different. Maybe the challenge was put in front of you because you were meant to grow and meant to serve in a different space, in a different place. Maybe you were meant to be a role model, to do something things. And so what I mean with this is that when we build the wealth, when we build the things we do, we put a margin of error in to allow us the flexibility for the margin of magic to change the things that we're doing. I'm not doing today what I anticipated I was going to be doing, but I feel like I'm called to do it.

Out of something I couldn't control the cancer out of all of that. And yet I did follow the discipline. I did follow the steps. I did that. Now financially I'm fine. Financially I'm great. We're doing fine. But was it the life that I anticipated? And sometimes we create this dream and this thing that we want. But what happens when you do everything right and life still flips the script on you? You know, a person who worked 30 years at a company only to get laid off just before retirement. My wife, 22 years with a company, this was a number of years ago, and then they, they, she got caught in a layoff. Maybe the couple that gets into an investment, they lose it all in a financial scam or the retiree who thought they'd be traveling the world, but instead is dealing with some sort of chronic illness that it doesn't allow it to happen. You can't plan for everything, but you can build in resilience. And I think that's the thing that we need to think about, is that this idea of adaptability and resilience becomes the key to having the financial freedom that we want. The power of flexibility. Instead of chasing the perfect retirement, how about we focus on building a life that can withstand the unexpected and know that the unexpected will happen and therefore it should be expected. Having financial flexibility, it's one of the reasons I say to have multiple income streams, to have investments, to have a money machine so the efforts to earn are separate from the earnings themselves. So you become free and live a life of choice instead of avoiding to, to. Instead of relying on too much, on a single thing, a single job, a single stock, a single business, a single aspect to give you the life you want to build in that flexibility. To know that if one avenue gets cut off, you're okay. I remember back in the day. Now, some of you may not remember this, but I was going to Dallas to meet with a coach, and I flew into Dallas. I've rented my, my, my rental car. Now, this was beat before iPhones, before GPS, before. So what did I do? I knew where I was going, so I printed out a map Quest. Anyone remember? MapQuest said my map quest. So I knew exactly how to get there, but it only gave me one path. And so as I drove, as I drove, all of a sudden I hit a construction zone. And now the path that I had on my map quest was blocked. And I had no understanding or way to get around to find another path to where I ultimately wanted to go. That's the same thing when we turn around and say all the planets have to line up to have that perfect retirement. We don't build in the adaptability, the flexibility, the things that will allow us to actually live with the freedom of knowing that I'm resilient, I am adaptable, and I will move through it, that I, I will have the financial, the money machine in place in a certain way, but to know that it will fund a life that maybe isn't the life that I intended.

And be okay with that, but understanding that the setback itself.

Isn'T proof of a failure.

It'S just part of the journey. Whether you lose money in an investment or you make a bad financial decision or a life decision.

When we put it as a, as A representative as a reference point of failure, that's what stops us. But when we understand it as a stepping stone in the journey and ask for the lessons to come out of it, that's what fuels us. The reason I wrote the book building your money machine was because of that. What. The reason that I did. I literally. So I was diagnosed with cancer in June of 2019. Two surgeries, July and August of 2019. Bunch of treatments in December of 2019. They said, you're good. I did, I don't know, 50 some treatments by that time. April, I go in for a scope and scan. So April of 2020, end of April 2020, and the cancer's back. I spiraled. It wasn't supposed to happen. I was going into the scan just thinking it was a formality.

And now I had to deal with the devil again. I had to deal with a demon again. What was my life about? What was going to happen? Why did I get this? And I remember I was walking on the beach, struggling with it, talking to a dear, dear friend of mine, and he said, you're trying to find the reason for the cancer. I said, yeah, I am. I am. He says, and where's it taking you? I said, to a dark place. Because I don't know, who did I wrong? Who did I piss off? Why did I deserve this? Why me?

And he said, you're searching in your past for something you did.

To let you understand why you got the cancer. I said, yes. He said, well, what happens if maybe it wasn't something you did, but something you're meant to do? What's the message in that?

And all of a sudden, I felt lighter. All of a sudden, when it hit me, I said, hold on a second. And writing the book was the message. The fact that I didn't struggle financially during the cancer, during the pandemic, because I built a money machine and had that set up, was the message. And that's what allowed me to sit back and say, I can give value to the cancer. I can now look at this as not a proof of failure, but a stepping stone in a new direction to bring magic into people's lives. And so it's up to us to have that emotional, mental resistance. Now. It doesn't mean it's easy. It certainly wasn't easy for me because I still struggled with it. Every time I go in for a scope, I tell my wife, I feel like the defendant that's coming in after the jury finished their deliberations.

But find the meaning behind what we're doing. Beyond the money, your purpose, your passion in, in doing that and allow people to know. This is kind of the. The next piece of this is, is to know that.

The judgment of others is useless. The guilt, shame game. People will judge you for struggling. People will judge you for your choices. People will judge you and say you messed up. You know, people will judge you or they'll go the other way and they'll just be positive and say, hey, just be positive. Think positive thoughts. Everything's going to be fine. No, that's hogwash. Okay? It really is. Struggles are real. And it's okay to say I'm struggling. It's okay to just say I'm okay and not to just sugarcoat say, just work harder. It's going to get better. Just be grateful. It'll be fine. Just do a gratitude walk. You'll be okay. No, it's okay to know that you're struggling. It's okay to say I messed up. It's not okay to live there.

To make that your space. That's your environment. But it's okay to acknowledge it. It's okay to look at it. It's okay. And don't be afraid to admit that maybe you need help, you need assistance. You need something to help you out. There's no reason to suffer in silence.

I think a lot of people get convinced that if they. If people see me with a setback, if they. People see me, they're going to see me as. As if I failed. And the reality check, the reality check here is this.

Everyone faces setbacks. It's just part of the life. It's part of the journey. It's not about blame. It's not about fault. It's not about anything. It's about responsibility. How you're going to respond to it that matters. So all this positivity or all this judgment, there are two sides of the coin. And you know what? They don't matter. They just don't. It's your life to live it your way, to make the choices and don't allow them to define who you are on that journey. If you messed up, you messed up. Own it. If you're thriving, you're thriving. If you're struggling, you're struggling. I'm okay with that. And let's move on. Right? The traditional retirement, redefining it becomes important because it isn't the only option. It's time to look at your life and say, what do I want? What do I want this to look like. You don't have to wait till 65 to retire. If you love what you do, just keep going. I'm going to keep going. I'll be 64 this year. I have no plans on stopping. I want to keep going. I want to keep serving. I feel like I'm in a season of serving and I get great joy out of it. Okay, you don't have to stop working. Maybe you have leveraged income because of the five incomes I talk about in the book. And so you have a part time passion or you get behind movements, you get by causes, or you can pivot and you say, you know what, I don't want to do this. And you're in your 50s. I remember I used to be an adjunct professor at the University of San Diego Law School. And on the last day of the semester, I would have the students in there, I'd bring in pizza, they'd bring in beverages. I don't know where the beverages were. I don't ask. And I would have a conversation. And literally I would tell them, I know that you finished your education. You're going to be graduating soon. You spent a lot of money, a lot of effort, a lot of time on this journey. There might be a time in your life that you find that this isn't the path for you. Not that you're having a bad day or a bad week even, but you're miserable and that you made a wrong choice. Or you say, this isn't for me and you say, I'm going to move. Be okay with that. I did. I was working for a downtown, downtown Los Angeles, one of the biggest consulting firms in the world. And after years and years of doing it, I realized I was living someone else's life. I made a change. Yes, I'm a cpa. Am I doing CPA stuff? No. Now? No, not really. But I took the training, the education and everything. And I made the pivot. So if you feel the urge to pivot, do it smart. Do it smart. There is a difference between reckless and committed. Do it smart, but be okay with it. And know that people will judge, people will support, doesn't matter. The value isn't just in the money in your retirement. It's in how you contribute, it's in how you impact. It's in what you love, it's in the passion. It's how you journey your journey. The purpose is in the journey, not the destination. It's not the bank account we're trying to get after. So the perfect retirement doesn't actually exist, but the perfect life for you is defined by you, funded by the Money machine. And to know this, that no matter what the path takes you, the detours, the problems, you're not broken. You're human. Do I make mistakes? Certainly. Okay. But the goal isn't to be perfect. The goal isn't to chase the perfect retirement either. The goal is to live fully, fully expressed now, each moment. To know that the moments in your life are actually the things that matter. And that is in the stacking of the moments. People will say, I want to leave a legacy. I don't want you to leave. A legacy isn't about accumulating stuff and leaving it behind for others. I want you to live a legacy. It's about living each moment fully congruent and aligned with your values in a way that when you live it, people live it with you. And your true legacy is lived, not left. And your true legacy is what you leave inside of someone in each moment that you live.

And to know that you enjoyed the legacy as well as them, that's the key. And sometimes we get caught up in this lofty destination in the distance. You don't owe anyone an explanation for the choices that bring you happiness. You don't. The only thing that matters is that you wake up every day knowing that you're living the life on your terms. A life of choice. So I'll leave you with this. Stop waiting for the life to be perfect and then start living. Stop feeling like you have to justify your choices to anyone. The only person who needs to believe in your path is you. But I'll believe in your path with you. Okay? So ask yourself this. What do you actually want outside society's expectations? Your degrees? Expectations? Your siblings? Your parents?

What if you stopped chasing security and started chasing meaning? What if you started to use the money to bring meaning more into your life? How would that change? What if the goal isn't to retire, but to create a life that you never want to escape from? You're not broken. You're not behind. You're actually exactly behind where you need to be. All right, now I want to hear from you. Have you ever faced setbacks despite them knowing that everything's right? Have you adapted? Pivoted? What have you done? How has this hit you? Because.

The richness in life is in how you experience it and how you feel and who you share it with. It's not ever going to be found in a bank account. I hope this helps. I know this was different. I think it's an important conversation to have to know that we're not chasing a perfect retirement. We're chasing the right life for you. All right, I get a chance to see you in another episode. Always, always strive to live a life.

Thank you for listening to the Affluent Entrepreneur show with me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the affluent entrepreneur Facebook group now by going to melabraham.com group and I'll see you there.

And that's it for this episode of building your money machine, where we help you learn how to master your money, eliminate financial stress, and live a life of choice. If you found this valuable or helpful to you, here's what I'd love for you to do. If you'd do me a favor, go to Apple, Apple Podcast, or wherever you're listening to this podcast and rate and review the show. It helps us tremendously to keep us at the top of the list so we can continue to get this information and this message out to people, because I truly believe that financial freedom is your birthright, and I want to help each and every one of you claim it. Thanks so much.