How to LIVE From Your Identity in Christ (Not Just Know It)

You can know the right verses about who you are in Christ and still live the old sentences. In this episode, we are going to look at the gap between knowing your identity and walking in it. We'll use Romans 16:19-20 as our anchor: be wise about what is good, innocent about what is evil, and stand in the victory God already has. You'll leave with practical ways to practice living from who you already are this week. Hey friend, welcome to Forward Path with Melissa: Life and Marriage God's Way. I'm Melissa, small-town Iowa girl, wife to my best friend since 2007, mom of 2, mental health therapist since 2009, and founder of Forward Path. I'm forever grateful that God took a shy, insecure kid and showed her who she really is in Him, giving her just enough humble confidence to stand for what's true. Because that changed everything. Forward Path and this podcast is the stirring God wouldn't let go of in my heart, because the world can feel heavy and dark, and we're called to be different, to shine his light, especially in our homes and marriages. So every week we're gonna open scripture, pull from real-life counseling experience, coaching knowledge, and talk honestly about the messy and the beautiful. How to disagree well, love deeply, heal, parent with purpose, and keep walking forward with Jesus. Because your growth isn't just about you. It's about glorifying the One who designed it all. So grab your coffee and let's walk forward together. This is episode 43: How to Actually Live from Your Identity in Christ, Not Just Know It. You could quote 2 Corinthians 5:17 and say you're a child of God, with your identity in Christ versus on your phone, and you can still wake up and live from the old script: prove yourself, protect yourself, blend in, don't look at that too closely, stay comfortable. Knowing who you are in Christ is not the same thing as practicing it. And we've talked about identity a lot on this podcast— not finding yourself, but remembering who God says you already are. Not letting feelings write the story, Describing a marriage that glorifies God and raising kids who know who they are in him. Today is the next step. What does it look like when that truth leaves your head and starts running your choices? So I'm going to be bold with you today because scripture is bold here. Romans 16:19-20 says, Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I'm full of joy over you. But I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Paul was writing to believers who already had a reputation for obedience. He's glad about that. Then he basically says, that's not the finish line. I want you to be wise about good, innocent about evil. Standing in a victory God wins, held by grace. That's living your identity in Christ. Not a nicer self-image, but a different way of walking. And remember, we're called to be different. So here's a thought I hear from a lot of Christians who are stuck: I know who I am in Christ. I just don't feel it yet. Or, I know it. I just can't live it. As a therapist, I differentiate thoughts from feelings and then ask, where's the evidence? To find the truth. But even then, insight isn't change. You can know a healthier thought and still rehearse the old one all day. CBT is pretty simple here: the thought you practice becomes the one that feels true. Identity in Christ works the same way. You don't wait until it feels settled to walk in it. You walk in it And the mind catches up as you take thoughts captive and return to what's true— what is aligned with God's Word. Last week, we talked about doing the right things and still feeling disconnected. You can do that with identity too. You can check the I know who I am box and never let it touch what you watch, what you say yes to, how you talk to your spouse, or what you keep entertaining in your mind. Romans has spent much of the letter telling them what is true of them in Christ. Now, as Paul closes a letter, he tells them what that truth should look like in the way they live. So let's walk through the verse. First, wise about what is good. Living our identity in Christ means paying attention to what is good, not just what is allowed, impressive, or trending. And we have to define good. Because that word gets confusing without an anchor. What we call good is often what's comfortable, kind-sounding, popular, or useful. It can mean it didn't hurt anybody, it made me happy, or at least my intentions were right. That's our measure. God's measure is different. In scripture, good is what aligns with his character and his design. It's what he calls holy, true, and life-giving, even when it costs us, it isn't impressive, or when it isn't the option that keeps everyone comfortable. So being wise about what is good is not asking, does this feel good to me? It's asking, does this match what God says is good? Those are not always the same question. Wisdom about good is not soft. It's discernment. What is God calling good in this marriage? Conversation, screen, friendship, or thought? Colossians 3 says that since you've been raised with Christ, set your mind on things above. It's telling you to aim your mind at living out God's design. What gets in the way is confusing knowledge with wisdom. You could know a lot of Bible verses and still choose what is easy. You can know I am loved, and still interact with people like you are unlovable. You can know, I'm a new creation, and still build your day around old fear and insecurities. In scripture, we read that demons knew who Jesus was, but they weren't wise in good. They weren't living for him or aligned with him. So a practical step: when you're about to decide something this week, ask, Is this wise about what is good or just familiar? Familiar is not the same as faithful. The next part of the verse is innocent about what is evil. This is the hard-hitting part, and I'm not gonna soften it. Innocent doesn't mean naive. It doesn't mean you pretend the world is fine. It means you have knowledge of what is evil, but you don't engage or participate in it as a way of being informed. You don't need a guided tour of darkness to be a mature Christian. You understand what is evil, and then you don't associate with it. I see this in counseling more than people admit. Someone knows they're in Christ, but they keep rehearsing what God calls sin. Not always in a scandalous way. Sometimes it's a thought pattern they won't challenge, or it's complacency they keep feeding. Sometimes it's a relationship they know is pulling them from Jesus. But walking away would be uncomfortable. Often their reason is, it's complicated. Scripture calls it a lack of innocence about evil. You can't live from your identity in Christ and keep partnering with the old nature, then act surprised that you keep falling into the same patterns. Ephesians 5:11 says, Have nothing to do with the fruitless deed of darkness, but rather Expose them. That is not harsh for the sake of being harsh. That's what people who know whose they are do. I think sometimes what gets in the way is the thought, if I look at it long enough, I'll understand it better. Sometimes you're not understanding it, you're rehearsing it. We often don't need to keep reprocessing what we have already established to be bad, unhealthy, or sin. In CBT terms, what you repeat, you strengthen. That includes bitterness, lust, comparison, contempt, and the quiet lie that your old identity is more honest than the new one. So, practical step: name one place you've been staying informed about evil instead of innocent. For example, I'm not saying ban the whole internet. Maybe it's just one social media account that you need to stay away from. Then ask, what would innocence look like here? Often it's maybe a boundary or an unfollow, a confession, or a different thought you return to when the old one shows up. The next part of the verse: the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet. Notice who does the crushing: God. Notice where it happens: Under your feet. This is not, be intense and go hunt the devil. This is identity. If you are in Christ, you are not fighting for a spot in the family. You're learning to walk like someone who already belongs, and the enemy does not get the final word over it. Romans 8 already said that we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 16 is the close: The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. Peace and victory together— not pointing fingers and casting judgment, but not pretending there's no battle. And this is where we have to tell the truth about peace. Many Christians confuse being a peacekeeper with being a peacemaker. A peacekeeper wants the room quiet. Don't bring it up. Don't name the sin. Don't challenge the thought. Don't disappoint anyone. Keep the appearance of calm. That can look godly. A lot of times it's just fear with good manners. A peacemaker wants what God calls peace: wholeness, truth, things in their right place. That kind of peace may require an honest conversation, a boundary, repentance, or refusing to agree with a lie. Jesus said, blessed are the peacemakers. He did not say, blessed are the people who never rock the boat. The God of peace is not the God of pretending. He crushes what is evil. He doesn't make a truce with it so everyone stays comfortable. Lived identity looks like peacemaking. You tell the truth and you stay as kind as you can. You don't call silence unity when what's actually happening is agreement with the old pattern. When the thought comes, this is just who I am, you'll never change, you're a hypocrite for even trying, or keep the peace and don't say anything, that's not honesty or humble confidence. That's an old sentence. Take it captive. Replace it with what's true. Then take the next faithful step. You don't crush the enemy; God does. You stand firm where God put you and live in His ways. And then the last, the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. God does not end with, don't mess this up! He ends with grace. Living from your identity is not sinless perfection. If you miss it one day, The next step is to return. That's consistency. That's abiding. But grace is not permission to stay in the old pattern. Grace is how you get back up without making shame your new personality. So what does this look like in ordinary life? In marriage, knowing I am loved in Christ and living it means you don't need to win every conversation to feel okay. You can tell the truth and stay kind. In parenting, it means you don't only correct behavior. You also speak who they are, and you live like you believe who you are because they're watching your example. In your thought life, it means the verse on the card is not the finish line. The finish line is whether you used it when the old thought showed up. Knowing identity is information. Living from it is daily practice. So this week I challenge you: you don't need to add 10 new identity verses. Take Romans 16:19-20 and use it as a filter. Pick one area, a thought pattern, a habit, a relationship, or something you've been calling just how I am. Ask 3 questions. One, what would it look like to be wise about what is good here? What would it look like to be innocent about what is evil here? What old sentence do I need to stop agreeing with? Write the old sentence down. Now write the true one next to it. Then practice the true one when the feeling gets loud. At the end of the week, don't ask, did I feel more spiritual? Ask, did I live from who I am? Even once when the old script showed up. Let me pray for you. Father, thank you that who we are in Jesus is settled by you, not by how well we performed this week. Forgive us for knowing the right words and still practicing the old way. Make us wise about what is good. Make us innocent about what is evil. Teach us to stop agreeing with the enemy and stand in the peace and victory that belongs to Jesus. When we fall, bring us back by grace, not into shame and not into pretending. Help every person listening take one clear step this week from knowing their identity and walking in it. In Jesus' name, amen. That's all for today, friend. Thank you for walking this stretch of the path with me. If today's episode encouraged or convicted you, would you do 2 quick things? Hit subscribe or follow so you never miss an episode and share it with one friend who might need it. And if you wanna go deeper this week, subscribe to my free Forward Path Weekly email. Each Monday, I'll help you turn what you heard into real-life growth. You'll get the big takeaway, reflection questions, key scripture, and simple action steps with a prayer. It's your weekly bridge from podcast inspiration to daily transformation. You can find it at melissagendreau.com/forward-path-weekly. Until next Monday, keep shining, keep growing, and keep moving forward God's way. See you soon, and God bless.