Riverbank Ted Talk Where Formation Slowsss

All right, guys. So in earlier talks, because we're at another TED talk at the Riverbank, I shared about honoring emotions, about regulating what my body carried, and today is about what that healing made possible. Okay, so buckle up. I saw a post, and it's still in my story, and it was written for men on how to lead a woman of God. Well, and I was reading it, and I found myself nodding along. You know, I was like, yes, men who lead with prayer, with clarity, with protection, like, and with intentionality, like all that matters. But as I sat with it, I felt my. Like, I just felt this nudge in my spirit. And it was because there's another part of the conversation we kind of don't talk enough about. And it's, you can have a man of God who wants to lead well and unintentionally make it hard for him to do so as a woman. Okay? So, ladies, I'm kind of talking to us right now. And I say that humbly because I've had to learn this myself, okay? So I'm not judging. Like, I've literally. I have been there, okay? We live in a culture, you know, that just kind of. It celebrates independence, like. Like self protection. You know, we're taught to stay ahead emotionally. You know, we're, you know, taught to kind of like, fill silence quickly to control outcomes so, you know, we don't get hurt. But the way of Jesus, like, is. It's different. You know, the kingdom invites us into something very countercultural. And that's slowness, it's trust, it's order. I mean, it's surrender. I mean, come on. And part of that, especially for women, is learning how to receive leadership without forcing it. Okay? And that's something that I really had to learn. And it's about letting a man lead instead of managing the moment and stuff. You know, a man of God can generally want to pray first, move with clarity, like, protect peace, and lead with intention. Like, they can want to do all these things. But if we're rushing the process or managing the outcome or emotionally kind of like sprinting ahead of what God is doing, we can totally, unintentionally take the very space that he needs to lead. And, you know, it's just. It's not condemnation. Like, it's self awareness. Like, you know, I've been guilty of it, okay? Like, I can admit that and stuff. And this isn't about shrinking. So it's not like we have to shrink ourselves as women. So I'm not saying that it's about women be and it's not about women becoming passive, you know? Like, it's not about us, you know, putting men on a pedestal or anything like that. It's just about, like, the right order, okay? Because, like, I've talked about, like, in Hebrew, you know, the word shalom, you know, it doesn't just mean peace. It means wholeness. You know, it means alignment. It means missing. Like, it's nothing's missing. Like, nothing's forced. And when we live from that place, like, we don't change taste, clarity, you know, we don't pressure a process. And we don't confuse, like, chemistry with covenant. Like, we actually allow God to lead first, and then we allow people to rise or to reveal themselves and stuff. Sometimes they rise, you know. Sometimes they just reveal, you know, who they truly are. You know, it just depends, you know, like, we've kind of forgot this design that really matters, you know, In Genesis, there is a word used for women, and it's not assistant, and I'm gonna butcher this. But it's like, E, Z, E, R cannot or something. I have to look it up. But EZ strength. And it's often used to describe God himself. And this conego means face to face. Okay? So, like, this actually means women were never designed to come like men or to compete with them or control the direction quietly behind the scenes, okay? We were designed to stand across from them strong, you know, like, clear and, like, discerning and kind of like a mirror, actually, and stuff, you know, like, in cultural. That, like, in a culture, like, we kind of avoid discomfort, okay? Like, that kind of clarity can feel like an attack, but biblically, it's not an attack. It's actually protection. Because when. When both people are aligned with God, okay? You know, it's gotta be both people are aligned, you know, the mirror doesn't create conflict. It actually. It creates order. And, like, this is kind of like where it comes at from, like, my own personal testimony. And I want to be really clear about why I'm sharing this. Not sharing this, because, like, I got. I got this perfectly right. Because I'm. Be honest. Like, I totally did, okay? But I'm sharing it because, like, God, like, he saw my heart, okay? He saw my heart. He saw that I wanted alignment. He saw that I wanted to, you know, like, love well. And in his kindness, like, he didn't shame me for what I hadn't fully learned yet, okay? Like, he formed me. Like, that's our God. He's the potter, you know, we are the clay. You know, he slowed me Down. He corrected my posture and he taught me restraint and, like, trust and order. And, you know, like, that really matters because that's where growth, like, growth doesn't always come from getting it right. Sometimes it comes from God and just like, honor, like, God just honoring our sincere heart and honestly, just like, kind of waiting patiently and allowing him to. To like, shape our capacity over time. Okay? And so, like, this is what I want to talk about. So, like, this isn't me speaking from arrival, you know, because, you know, I'm still being formed and stuff. It's speaking from, like, integration, okay? Like, all these things putting put together. I can see now where, like, I rushed. I can see where, like, I filled space. God was asking me to kind of just, like, leave open. I can see where, like, love, like, it was present but order was still being formed, okay? And I don't carry shame about that. I like, actually carrying, like, an extreme amount of gratitude and stuff. Because if God gives me another chapter, I trust that the outcome is going to be different, you know, not because, like, a situation changes, not because the other person changes. Because my posture has. And that's mercy. Like, that is like the definition of mercy of God. That's the patience of God. And that's the kind of formation that actually, like, it prepares us for covenant and stuff. And it's covenant with him first, then it's with one another, okay? So if you're listening to this and something resonates, you know, maybe it's not because, like, you've done it wrong, but because you're still being formed. And I want to say, like, that's okay. Like, I just want to invite you into this reflection and just like, kind of, you know, ask, like, where might God be asking you to slow down? Like, where may he be asking you to, like, release control or to trust, like, order, you know, over urgent and stuff. Like, not to strive, like, not to fix. Because as women, we can be, like, that's something that we do sometimes to receive, like, what he's forming in us right now, you know, like, what is he forming in you right now? Because when posture changes, like, outcomes do too. And God is the kind of God, like, He is so kind enough that he walks us through the process and stuff. And so that's just kind of what's on my heart today. I just kind of want to get in here and, like, share some personal testimonies. Because I believe, like, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and, like, really connect with others and stuff. Like, you know, the Internet was so full of, you know, perceived perceptions of things. Like, I want it to be real. Like, the person that you see on this screen is going to be the same person that you meet at lion at the Walmart or, you know, like at church or something. Like, I don't want to be a person that's like, has like these different, I guess, like, personalities or whatever. Like, different, like, stages. Like, you know, like, oh, here's Instagram Melissa. And then, like, here's, you know, Melissa at church and, oh, here's Melissa at work. You know, I try to stay very consistent. I think, you know, that's what God calls us to do, is to stay consistent and to stay in, you know, into his character and who he's designed us to be and to carry that salt and light in all spheres of influence. So I'm going to continue sharing as I feel led and I hope these blesses you guys and that it just helps you just to internally reflect. And I hope that you feel encouraged that, you know, if you struggle with anything that I talk about, like, you know, really bring it to the feet of Jesus and allow him to just grow and develop you and cultivate, like, this deeper relationship. And I'm telling you, like, he gets the roots up. You know, he'll go hand in hand with you and living with him and doing things his way. Like, my life is so different in such a good way, and I'm just so incredibly thankful for it. So until next time, I'll talk to you guys later.