007. How to be Great at Networking (online & in-person)

Welcome. I am marketing expert and business coach Melissa Kellogg Lueck, and this is the Doing Business Like a Woman podcast where we are exploring and teaching you how women are reinventing the way business is done and money is made to help you create greater impact and financial freedom one business at a time. Well, hello my friends and welcome to episode seven. How to be Great at Networking is what we're talking about today, both online and in person networking. So how are you? I hope you're doing well. It is a Friday early evening as I'm recording this. I love recording my episodes on Fridays and I feel like everything took twice as long as I thought it would today. And so I am now getting to recording the podcast and so excited to get to bring this to you and so excited for the weekend and holidays coming up and all the things. So I hope you are doing well also. But I get asked this question a lot about networking and I coach my clients on networking a lot. And so I thought this would be a great topic, more of a strategy topic with some mindset thrown in there about networking and how to be great at it. And I have been a networker and loved like in person networking for a very long time. I think back to when I first started networking. I was an MBA student in New York and it was the age of the Internet boom. And I used to go to a venture capital networking function and I just remember it was so fun. I loved it because being in tech, I was one of very few women and you walk into this networking function full of men in suits and, you know, I stuck out like a sore thumb. So it was always kind of funny to me and but that was kind of how I started networking, how I started the learning networking. I watched how all the people did it that I met at these meetings and I always thought it was so interesting. But I have always loved networking because I love just meeting new people and learning about them and hearing their stories and asking them questions. And so that's always been fascinating to me. I'm a writer and so that was always one of my favorite parts of writing an article also is like just calling people and talking to them, asking them questions and interviewing them. But that's not really what I recommend to do for networking. But anyway, back to the subject at hand. So one so networking is a really great way to grow your business, especially in the early days when you have more time than money. As you start to grow and scale and your time for networking is minimal, then maybe your methods and strategies for creating demand and acquiring Clients becomes a little different. But I still love networking, and it's something that I do. I have seen it change as my business grows. So in the early days in the, you know, I had, like I said, more time than money. So I went to lots of networking functions, met as many people as I could, had all the coffee chats that I could have, and it was really a great way for me to communicate my message, to practice communicating my message, to practice talking to people about what I did and getting clearer and clearer on that message and see what resonates with people, see what kind of questions they ask. So it's such a great classroom, but then also you make great contacts. You get to know people and they connect you with people and you connect people with people, and it's so fun. And you know, now when I walk into a networking group or, or a room of people, I, you know, I always know a couple people when I go walk in, so that's always fun too. So what I have 10 suggestions that I'm going to go over that will help you to network. And you know, I'm kind of talking about in person networking as you know, in this introduction. But, but these suggestions and everything that I'm talking about now also applies to networking online. And so when the pandemic hit in March of 2020, obviously all of our in person networking events were shut down. And I, truth be told, threw a little fit because I loved in person networking. I did not want to give it up, but we didn't have a choice, right? So the circ circumstances had changed and I could no longer network in person. And so I thought, dang it, you know, I got to figure out how to meet people in other ways. And so one of those ways was online. And a lot of the in person networking groups that I was a part of and am still a part of do meetings on Zoom. So that was a great opportunity. I was able to actually attend meetings all over the country, country and all over the world thanks to Zoom and our Internet, wonderful Internet. And so that was fun. And then also I started to really dive into networking in Facebook groups. And I had a real kind of mental block with that at the beginning. And I know a lot of you that I talk to are not real fans of social media, and that's fine, you don't have to be. But it is a way that you can meet a lot of people without ever leaving your house, without paying, you know, fees for lunch or coffee or whatever. And so if that is a concern for you, you Know, getting out of the house and going and driving or getting yourself to networking meetings is an issue for you. Online is always an option. So just keep that in mind. And everything I'm going to teach you today applies to the online networking and the in person, whether you are networking in Facebook groups or zoom meetings or in person. So my suggestion number one is to go where your ideal clients hang out. Now, a lot of times we think, well, you know, my ideal clients are entrepreneurs. And so I got to, you know, go to entrepreneur groups. And that's fine. Yes, go to business groups, but also think out of the box a little bit and think about where else people that would want to work with you hang out. So, so yes, entrepreneurs might be in business groups, but they might also just be in like neighborhood groups because they're people that live in neighborhoods. Right. Also, for example, I am a member of a Facebook group that is for women, middle aged women that are growing out their gray hair. And so I went through this transition a couple of years ago where I stopped coloring my hair and I grew up my gray hair and I wanted to have a community. Well, I found a community of women doing the same thing. And so it just helped me to feel, you know, not so bad about the way I looked for that year because it was kind of a tough year, tough transition. And so those women in that group, also, a lot of them have businesses. So even though I was in there to get support and give support and get inspiration and give inspiration about the color of my hair, I was also able to meet women that had businesses. And just by going in there and being part of the community. So think about your interests, other communities that you might want to be a part of where you would actually have fun being a part of it. And it's possible to meet potential clients in those communities. So just consider that it's just like that. You know, if you're involved, like with your kids, sports or whatever, you can meet people. You know, my kids have been in sports and just part of being a part of their sports community, you meet people. And some of them have, you know, considered working with me. And so you can meet people everywhere. But the important thing is when you're growing your business and growing demand, you need to be meeting a lot of people and getting your message out there. So suggestion number two is to go where it's fun. And we just talked about this a little bit. I'm kind of getting ahead of myself, I guess, but go where it's fun. And whether that's online or in person. So those of you that if you like being online and on Facebook and networking in social media, there are plenty of opportunities there. If you would rather be networking in person, then there's plenty of opportunities there. You can do either, you can do both and just go where you have fun. Because when you're having fun, you bring that energy with you, right? No one wants to be around someone that, you know, hates being in the room and can't wait to leave, whether it's in person or online. Right? So just ask yourself, where would it be really fun for me to show up and be a part of the community? Because when you want to be there and want to be a part of the community, you're going to be very attractive to your ideal client. So that's another important piece of marketing or of marketing and networking. So number three suggestion is to have some goals. So I, I have gone through phases of this where you know, I've said, said well I'm going to go to this networking function and I don't really want to go and I'm going anyway and I go in and I'm basically just like a invisible, you know, zombie wandering through, don't talk to anybody and then leave. And that has happened and I don't think it serves me right. And so I would encourage you that however you decide you want to be networking, to have some goals. So for me, the goals I set for myself is, and it depends on your business and your time and what you want to do. But for me as far as in person events, I strive to, my goal is to attend 10 networking events a month and to schedule a follow up or coffee date or face to face connect meeting with one person from each meeting that I go to. And so that just kind of gives me a, just a marker to work towards, right? Like I'm not going to shame myself if I go to nine networking events instead of 10 or eight or whatever. And I'm not going to shame myself if I go to one and I just don't connect with the people and I leave and I don't schedule a follow up with anybody. But I just have that as the goal in the back of my mind. So I'm always thinking, oh, who would I like to have coffee with? Who would I like to get to know better? Who you know, do I need to understand their business better? And so I think it's great to have some goals when you're networking. Number four, I want you to constrain to a small number of groups where you can add value and be a part of the community. What I'm thinking about here is that, and I've been through this too, is that when you can you constrain yourself to maybe no more than three groups. It depends on your time and how you want to work it. But I would say one, two or three groups where you can go deep within those groups as far as creating relationships, adding value, that is where you're going to get so much more value out of it. Right? Because where we put our focus is where our money grows. So. So I would just encourage you to choose a small number. I went through a period where I was going through going to every networking event I could get my hands on. Any, you know, like they say I was attending the opening of an envelope. I would go to anything, anywhere, anytime, anybody. Like, I just wanted to try them all and see which ones I liked. And so that's a good kind of a. It worked out for me because I got a very good understanding of all the networking events in person in my area. And then I have constrained down to just three now that I am heavily involved in. And that is when I constrained down and decided, okay, these are the ones I want to commit to and be involved in. That is when the value started coming back to me. Right? I could go in there and offer value and create relationships. And those relationships that you're creating, that's when value comes back to you. And so. Or connections and opportunities and even business comes out of that. But it is important to constrain. And even with online, with Facebook groups constrained to just a few, where you can get to know people and offer value and just be known in the group as someone that's always willing to help or offer suggestions. I have done that in a couple Facebook groups as well. And it's funny because now people will recommend people that I don't even know, have never heard of will recommend me. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, that is so cool. And so that is all from just having that focus and attention on a few groups. And then number five, I want to encourage you to be a normal human. We have all been to. And this is mostly for. Well, I guess it's for all in person and online. So we've all been in groups in situations when people are not acting like real humans, like they are just being creepy, like shoving their business card in your face or, you know, asking you to buy their stuff or, you know, book a party or whatever it is. And it's just weird, right? And so don't be that person. Just go into a networking opportunity like you would, you know, a neighbor's party or you know, a friend of a friend's party where you walk in and you're just yourself and you talk to people and ask great questions and just you're relaxed and having fun and wanting to get to know people. Like you don't have any hidden agenda or, you know, weird agenda. You just want to be friendly and offer value where you can connect people when you can and just be a normal, fun human. So that's number five. Number six, some groups that you attend or visit will allow you to do a commercial. And this is the same on social media too, right? Sometimes you can promote yourself. I love to use this as an opportunity to tell a story and offer value. So we've all heard these. When people do their commercials and they talk really fast and they say lots of industry specific jargon that we don't understand and they're just one of like 50 other people introducing themselves and it makes no impact. I want you to think about how you can stand out in that type of situation. And the way I like to do that is to tell a story. One of my clients is an insurance agent and she started doing this, we talked about, we came, helped her come up with some stories and she started doing this and she has just gotten amazing responses like people actually interested in talking to her about insurance. And so the approach is to tell a story maybe of a client that you've worked with or something going on in your industry that's very relatable to the other people there or tell your own story, something that you've been working through that relates to your business and what you do. Or you can offer value like giving advice or telling people to, you know, think about. I mean, I'm thinking of my client that's an insurance agent, right? So she's like, you know, telling people they need to, you know, the difference between like, I don't know, I'm not an insurance person so I'm going to screw it up. But, but like actual value and replacement value or whatever it is and things that really would help people if they understood it. And so that goes a long way in offering that value and giving back when you are going to a networking meeting or when you're networking in a Facebook group. And that leads right into my number seven suggestion to think about how you can add value, how you can give more than you ask. I can't tell you how many times, and this really is a Pet peeve of mine that I hear people talk about, well, what are they going to give me or what am I going to get at this meeting, or who are they going to put me in touch with or when. Who I. Who can I get in with? And that is a very, like, expectant, like selfish kind of energy that I don't think comes across well when you're network networking. So I would just before each meeting, and I always do this when I go to a networking meeting as I'm driving on the way there, I will think about how I can add value today and think about the group, think about the people that I know are going to be there, think about what I have to offer them. And it doesn't have to be anything, you know, major. It can be just offering to connect someone with another person and. But rather than going in there thinking about what you can get, think about what you can give and offer. And that goes so far to getting value coming back to you. And then number eight is to just forget about a lot of these terms we hear about networking, like working the room, just throw that in the trash. And if you get really nervous going to networking groups thinking, oh my gosh, I have to talk to so many people, I have to work the room. I have to make it worth my time and make it worth the 30 bucks or whatever you paid to get in, just throw all that in the trash. Just let all that pressure go and see if you can think about the meeting or the opportunity as just a chance to meet some new people, just like you would if you were going to a friend of a friend's party, like we talked about before. And think about walking into that party, just being yourself and complimenting people on what they're wearing or asking them really great questions about their work or their lives. It's so just asking good questions. And being interested in a person goes so far, you would be shocked. I mean, if you think about it, it's not very often that people are actually interested in hearing what we have to say. So when you meet someone that is like, oh, tell me about all about you. Oh, that's so interest. I love that you're. It's just such a magnetic energy that becomes very memorable. And so forget about working the room and just meet one person and ask them a really great question or just be interested in one person. And, you know, sometimes it can be very intimidating to walk into a room where there's a whole bunch of people. And I'm an introvert, so I don't know about you introverts out there, but I, I feel you. And so sometimes, you know, I'll walk into a room and everybody's in there talking and they all look like they know each other, they're all BFFs, and I'm just like the outsider. This is what my mind is saying, right? And obviously that's not true, but I always look for someone. There's always at least one person that isn't talking to anybody or is kind of looking around like whatever circle they're standing in, they don't really want to be standing in. And I will go and talk to that person. And I used to shame myself if I wasn't, you know, talking to all the people. And I decided to just let that go because I love being interested in one person at a time. As an introvert, I love talking to one person at a time and having that conversation. And then I can move on and talk to someone else if I want to. But just giving that attention and connection with one person at a time is so valuable and has really worked for me. So think about that next time you go to a networking function. Number nine feeds right into what I was just talking about. It is to connect with one person that you'd have like to have another chat with. And I talked about this a little earlier in having your goals, but I like to have that as my goal to connect with one person that I would like to get to know better. And if you're at a networking function where everyone gets to give their commercials, maybe that's how you find out who you want to connect with at another one on one face to face meeting. Or maybe it's, you know, as you're talking to people, but find that one person and invite them to get together for coffee. Or, you know, not in a creepy way like you want to sell them something or pin them down and make them buy your stuff, but just invite them to meet for coffee. I want to get to know you and your business better. It's so interesting what you're doing. You know, I think we could collaborate possibly, or I have somebody I'm thinking I have in mind that I'd like to connect you with. And I want to get to know your business a little better. You know, whatever, however you want to say it, but that's just such a great way. And then go to those coffee chats with no agenda. It's another part of being a normal human. Just go and get to know people. And like I said before, it's all about Relationships that your business will be built. So the more relationships you build, the more clients you will have. And then the final number 10 suggestion is to give it time. Now, this for me has been a challenge because I'm like, all right, I'm here. I'm investing my money in this group, and I want to, you know, I want to get some clients, like right now. And that's not how it works. And so I have learned this, that it takes time. You have to give people time to get to know you. You have to show up and keep showing up. That. That engenders trust. And so just give it time. Enjoy the group. The community and business will come out of it, but don't force it. So just be patient. Which is why, you know, I suggest being a part of a couple of groups, not a lot that you really enjoy being there, that this is the community of people you want to be hanging out with and want to be getting to know and forming relationships with. And so that when you know you have to give it time, it's fine because you love being there and like being around these people. So Those are my 10 secrets to success for networking. And I hope that this is helpful to you. If you have additional questions, comments about any of this, I would love to hear it and just reach out and get in touch with me. And I thank you so much for being here. If this episode, if this podcast is enjoyable to you, I invite you to leave a review or rate the podcast and so we can have more people joining us. So thank you so much. I hope you have a fabulous rest of your day and your week, and I will talk to you next time. Bye. If you like this podcast and want to take this work deeper, I invite you to coach with me one on one. It all starts with a conversation. Let's get on a call together and I'd love to learn more about you and your business. And together we, we can identify what is standing in the way of creating the business and life you envision. And then we'll create a plan to get you there. So visit my website@melissamkellock.com and find a spot on my calendar. I look forward to seeing you.