This is a podcast episode (Doing Business Like a Woman, episode 013) in which host Melissa Kellogg Lueck reflects on taking an extended break over the holidays and the difficulty she felt in resting. She discovers that her sense of worth had been tied to productivity and contrasts hustle-driven action with grounded rest rooted in inherent worth and love. She argues that accepting inherent worthiness and prioritizing rest and self-care enable better leadership, deeper purpose, and ultimately stronger business growth; the episode closes with a coaching invitation and website CTA.
Questions this episode answers
013. Why it's Hard to Rest but Critical to Business Growth
January 10, 2022
melissamkellog.com
Chapters
Welcome. I am marketing expert and business coach Melissa Kellogg Lueck. And this is the Doing Business Like a Woman podcast, where we are exploring and teaching you how women are reinventing the way business is done and money is made to help you create greater impact and financial freedom one business at a time. Well, hello. Hello, my friends. Happy New Year. I hope you are having a wonderful start to your week. I am just coming off of having a week off. I took the week off between Christmas and New Year's this year, and I have to be honest, I don't remember the last time I did that. I mean, maybe I did it last year, but I really, I don't remember. But I feel like it's been a long time since I had this much time off. And I don't even mean like taking vacation, because if you're a parent, you understand that vacation isn't really a vacation. It's just entertaining people in a different way. So this week I took totally off. Like I told my children, I wasn't cooking dinner for them because they generally don't like what I make anyway. So I got things for them that they like that they can make. And I said, if I don't feel like making dinner, I'm not going to make dinner. I will help you make yours, but I'm not going to make a big fancy dinner because I actually, I love cooking. Cooking. But I love cooking when my husband's around and he's traveling. So I love cooking when he's around because I love eating great food and he loves eating great food. So we enjoy that together. But when it's just me, it's not as fun. So I thought, well, I'm just going to even take a week off of cooking and empower my children to be able to feed themselves when they want to and to eat what feels good to them. So I did that. And I did not see any clients. And I decided to just really have a week to rest. And it was awful. That's not true. It wasn't awful. We did a lot of fun things. And I feel like it's so interesting just hearing myself say that we did a lot of fun things. But what I learned this week, in trying my best to not be super busy body in my home, with my children, in my business, I learned that I really rely on what I'm doing to prove my worthiness. This came up for me after I saw a Instagram post by Glennon Doyle. And in her post she says, we are in productivity detox right now. That is why we feel itchy and worthless, but wait it out. Be still. It's good. We're remembering our inherent worth. And that post really struck me because that's exactly how I was feeling, is. Was itchy and worthless. And it is like detox, right? Like, just feeling very nervous. And I think I was resisting that. I didn't want to feel that way. I thought I would just take this week off and feel so zen and so pure and holy. And I just did not feel any of those things. I thought, well, I'm going to read all of my books. And what I discovered is that I just felt itchy and worthless. So then I asked myself why, right? And I discovered that it really is that my worthiness, that I prove my worthiness through action, right? I mean, even if it's on the weekend and my husband's traveling and he calls me and he's like, so you know what you do today? I, like, try to list off all the things I accomplished. Like, I'm trying to prove my worth. And it's not about him, it's about me, right? But it's about me proving my worth. And so that's why I was feeling itchy and worthless, because I wasn't doing anything for my business. I wasn't doing anything or very little with my children. Like you do on vacation. You know, on vacation you plan a lot of things to do, right? Well, we weren't planning a lot of things to do. We did some things. We went to movies and went sledding and just did some fun, played games and things. But it wasn't like we had a schedule of activities that my children could go back to school and write their what I did over a Christmas break essays. And it would sound fabulous. Like, it just didn't sound fabulous. And then I was like, well, I wasn't doing enough exercise. You know, with all this free time, I should be exercising and spending time outdoors and doing all of these things. And I wasn't doing any of that. So what I discovered was be is that's why I felt so worthless, because my worth is based on doing. And so I wanted to talk with you about that today because I think a lot of us women get caught in this trap, and then we get overworked, we get burned out, and we still aren't feeling worthy. And so what I discovered once that I stripped away all of the doing that I was forced to come face to face with, where my worthiness really comes from, that was the breakthrough that I had over Christmas break, over winter break, and this is what I wanted to talk with you about today. And it's so important, because what I've learned this past year, over this past year is the importance of caring for myself, of having compassion and love for myself as a CEO, because that allows me to go further in my business and to trust myself and trust that I will have my own back. And so this is really just the next step in that. And so I asked myself, what is wrong with searching for all, for worthiness in all the doing, right? And first of all, it's unattainable. We are already worthy. We don't have to earn it. And so we don't need to strive or hustle our way to being good enough or worthy enough. We already are. And so that's why we get frustrated, that's why we get overworked and burnt out, because we're trying to earn that worthiness. And it's a false goal, and it's destined to result in frustration for us. And it doesn't feel good most of the time, right? And so it's. It's based on us trying to manufacture something that's impossible to create. So we have to accept, I mean, really accept, like, deep down in your soul, what would it mean? How would you be behaving if you believed that you were 100% worthy right now and that you have been 100% worthy since you were born, before you were born. And that means no matter what has happened in your life, no matter what you've done or have not done, you are already worthy and 100% worthy of love. You're worthy of the business that you have, of the money that you're earning. You're worthy of the children, the family that you have. And even if you never earn another dollar or never leave a legacy or even get up off the couch, you are still worthy. And so from that place, believing and accepting that you are loved and worthy of love as declared by your Creator. I'm a woman of faith, so I believe that that God believe has loves me no matter what, offers me unconditional love. And so if he does, that means I am already 100% worthy, right? And so when we sit in that knowing, like, just really sitting in that, like, I don't have to do or be anything, and I am worthy of everything that I have, right? It's all a gift to me. I mean, yes, I've worked for it, but when we sit in that knowing and let that worthiness sink in, it just. It's so softening to Me, it feels like a softening inside my body. I'm interested to hear from you how that sits with you and how it makes you feel. But it made me ask, well, if all the doing doesn't make me worthy and I'm already 100% worthy, why do I want to do what I do? Why do I want to have this business or have the family that I have or pursue the hobbies that I pursue? Right? And what it comes down to is love. That the reason that we want to. And purpose, right? We all have a desire to have meaning and purpose and love. And so that is why we do what we do. And so when we strip away the action and the worthiness or that we're already worthy, then we can allow love to fill that space and allow that love to just fill us up and overflow and spill out. And that's what we want to take into the world around us. That will coming from that place creates the impact, it creates the successful business. It creates connection with our family, our children, the community around us. And it also inspires us to want to make a difference. And if we're doing that in the scope of our business, people will pay us for that, and they'll pay a lot of money for that kind of value, right? Love shows us why we're here, what really matters, and how to be what we are meant to be. So that's why we need to slow down and rest and get still and listen sometimes. Making space to let that love in and let that love be the guide is the greatest care that we can offer ourselves and the world around us. So when I talk about and when I coach my clients, that it's not about the doing. It's about what you're thinking and feeling as you're doing it. This is what I'm talking about. And I know in my business, I have seen, in my life, I have seen this in stark contrast. In the first 10 years of my business, I was all about action, hustle. And it works to a degree, right? But when I shifted my focus to really what I was thinking and feeling and not chasing the almighty dollar and letting that love come out and that love to influence the kind of business that I created, the kind of clients that I attracted, I have experienced exponential growth. I have stepped into what I know I was put on this earth to do. And so for me, growing that mission and that purpose requires that I slow down and rest and come to this place of reconnecting with that love and that mission. And that is so energizing. To me, that fills my cup. It restores my soul. Right? And as a woman of faith, I look to the Bible for a lot of wisdom. And I know what the Bible says about love. That love never fails, that love casts out all fear. Right? And so this is how I am coming into the new Year. And that I would offer you to consider making rest and restoration part of your practice and part of your business practice in 2022. Because as we do that, we. We will become our higher selves, be able to impact greater in the world and in our community and through our business and in our families. And this is exactly what I am teaching in my envision, goal setting and planning event that happens every year. So if you're listening to this after the first of the year, make sure and watch out for it. It'll be coming up again in the December, January time frame. So I hope that this is helpful to you, that it encourages you to take care of yourself. You are your business, your family's greatest asset. And so we want to love and care for ourselves, have compassion and allow for this rest and this restoration. And anytime you forget why and get caught up in the hustle and the overwork and the burnout, I want you to come back to this episode and remember this, because this is why. And this is why I wanted to record this for myself to listen to it too. Right? Because this is why it's hard for us as women to practice self care. Because we don't want to. We don't want to allow ourselves the I'm using air quotes, luxury of rest or taking a nap or thinking time. Right? But it's in these times that we come up with our greatest value that we can offer to others because we connect again with that love. All right. So I hope this is encouraging to you. I wish you a happy new year, a fabulous week, and I will talk to you soon. Bye. If you like this podcast and want to take this work deeper, I invite you to coach with me one on one. It all starts with a conversation. Let's get on a call together. And I'd love to learn more about you and your business. And together we can identify what is standing in the way of creating the business and life you envision. And then we'll create a plan to get you there. So visit my website@melissamkellog.com and find a spot on my calendar. I look forward to seeing you.
