037. Step Into Your Feminine Energy to Create What You Most Want w/ Allyson Chavez

Welcome. I am marketing expert and business coach Melissa Kellogg Lueck. And this is the Doing Business Like a Woman podcast where we are exploring and teaching you how women are reinventing the way business is done and money is made to help you create greater impact and financial freedom one business at a time. Okay, awesome. Well, welcome everybody to the podcast. I'm so excited. Today I have a very special guest to introduce to you and I think this is going to be such a great conversation. I was just telling her before we got on, I was like, maybe you should just coach me for the whole hour. But I want to introduce you to Allison Chavez. And she. I'm going to give a quick introduction because she probably doesn't mention all of this awesome stuff herself. So I'm going to mention it for her and then let her introduce herself. She is a prosperity and success coach for ambitious, God centered women. She teaches women how to get phenomenal results with ease, spend time and space, achieve their goals without hustle or grind, and reshape their reality in feminine energy. So that's how I know she's like the perfect guest for us today. And she's a sought after speaker on mindset, prosperity, universal laws and success strategies for relationships and life. And she's the bestselling author. I want to hear all about the book called the Prosperity Approach. And her work has been featured on cbs, NBC, abc, Fox, and hundreds of television, newspaper and magazine outlets. Welcome, Allison.

Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. And when I knew the title, when I learned the title of your podcast, I'm like, oh my gosh, I want to get on that podcast so bad. Doing this like a woman. Let's do that.

Yeah, I know, I love it. I was just saying before we hit record that we. I know myself made myself wrong for so many years thinking that I wasn't doing business right because I wasn't doing it like a man or I wanted different things. And so I would just love for us to open up by hearing your story and kind of behind the scenes on how you got into this work and all the good stuff. Wow.

Well, you know, so I've been doing this work for about 10 years now and I got started really innocently. I think we stumble into these things kind of innocently. I had learned a method of energy work to help people feel better, to move out lower vibrations of despair and discouragement and raise vibrations of hope and optimism and all of that. And I got a very, a very clear message from God that I was to learn this skill and to create a business around it. And I was like, okay, I don't know what that's going to look like, but all right, let's do it. It needed to be online. I'd never been online as far as the business was concerned. And so I followed it, and I got to work, and I built the company from zero to multiple six figures in about two years. And I did it like a man. And I was filled with stress, and I was filled with anxiety, and I was burned out all the time. And every time I hit a goal, and my mentor was like, all right, now double it. All I felt was tired and unfulfilled and like, are you kidding me? I just put everything I had into this, and now you want me to double this? This is impossible. And then I also didn't have a strong mindset to actually support in what I was growing. So my thoughts were, I'm not enough. I don't actually make a difference. This is too big for me. I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm not actually a businesswoman. And because, as I discovered later, your results will always match your beliefs. And my business began to topple. And the harder I worked and the more did, the faster that thing fell. And we ended up in a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. We were over 150 grand in debt. And when the dust settled, I looked around me and I was like, holy cow. I think that I created this, and I didn't mean to. If I created this, I'll bet you I can create my way out of it. And it was from that point that God was like, oh, finally, we can work with her. We can show her how to actually be a woman, how to work in feminine energy. And there were three things that God had to teach. I had to learn how to be a woman and be in feminine, like, lead with feminine and let masculine support, which totally goes against our grain. As driven women, I had to learn how money actually worked on a spiritual and energetic level, so I'd stop freaking out about money all the time. And I had to learn how to reprogram my subconscious beliefs so they wouldn't keep blocking myself and sabotaging. And once I did those three things, we went from bankruptcy to $232,000 in six months. We doubled it in a pandemic. We went to 800 last year, and we're tracking to a million now. And it's ease and it's fun and it's joy and it's effort and There is butt clenching involved, but, man, it is so much easier now than it ever, ever was before when I first started building my business.

Yeah, that's awesome. What a great story. So I would love to hear, because, you know, we talk on this show a lot about doing business like a woman and really, you know, making it okay to use that feminine energy right as we're building. But I think we are socialized as women to not trust ourselves and our own intuition, our own desires. Right. We are taught a lot of times to take that external input from other people, other authorities, instead of relying on our own authority. So. And it sounds like you were kind of in that as well, in the first, you know, iteration of your business. So talk to me a little bit about that shift, because that shift is so curious for me. I mean, I'm kind of in that now, and I find myself, like, moving forward, like, oh, I trust it. I trust it. And then I'll pull back and be like, oh, I don't know. I don't know if I trust this.

Well, yeah, and it is a little bit of a dance, especially at first and especially when you level up, too. Like, it's almost like for me, you know, people say, new level, new devil, and that's not the case. For me, it's new level, same devil, only louder and more obnoxious. And so it's like, I have to start over with, like, the whole trust factor. But as I get. As I. As I get my footing faster, then I start moving faster. And so here's the thing. Like, the feminine and women have been devalued for thousands and thousands of years. So this isn't just, like, you know, in the last hundred or so years. I mean, this is programming that has gone back 10,000 years. And so it's understandable when we're like, no, we got to look at the numbers. We got to look at the drivers, and we've got to. We got to get into hustle, and we got to get into the grind, because business is, like, 100% masculine. And one of the gifts we have as women is being highly, highly adaptable. And so we can multitask, and we can wear the power suit, and we can be a man, but at such a high cost, because it does. It robs us of our intuition. It robs us of our own inner voice. It certainly robs us of our natural radiance that we have as women, and it steals the joy from our experience. And so it really is like, I finally had to decide. I first had to decide that I got to be successful on my terms and that my business had to meet me where I wanted to be met instead of me, like, doing the dog and pony show so that my business would perform. And I can't really speak. I don't know. Do you relate to that?

Yeah, absolutely, for sure. It's like, for me, a lot of it is coming back to trust, like, self trust and learning to trust myself and then act upon that trust, then intentionally, like, I am intentionally going to trust myself and what I want to do here and what I want to create.

Okay.

Even though it's probably different than maybe other people do it, or my gurus say I should, or whatever. Right.

So trust is something that I have been working on for years. And I finally looked up the dictionary definition of trust. And trust is confidence and the firm belief in the reliability of something or someone. Because I was like you, I had very little trust in myself, But I did have trust in, like, mentors, and I did have trust in my higher power. So my higher power, clearly, you know, is God. Whatever, whatever you choose to call your higher power is totally fine. But I didn't have trust in myself at first. But I did have trust that God knew what he was doing and that he would guide me. And also, I think the basic trust that you've got to have is that everything always works out for you. Because we're taught as women not to trust ourselves. And we're taught to look outside ourselves for validation, for certainty, for protection and providing and all of those things. We're taught to do that, and we're wired to for that. And so, like, this is a whole new unknown that really we're navigating as women. But if you will lay down the basic foundation and trust that everything is always working out for you that helps you make mistakes, like, it gives you permission to get it wrong. And that's the thing that, like, women more so than men, run this whole perfectionist program and that we have to be perfect. And we have this absolutely unrealistic standard, impossible standard that. But then we don't trust ourselves that we can actually do it. And so we let perfectionism take us out. We are overly, overly critical of anything that we do. We really deny our successes, meaning we don't make them the big deal that they really, really are and how far we've come because we just nitpick ourselves to absolute death. Because we don't have this basic trust that everything always works out for us. And here's the way to get that Can I share? Can I share the trust? Yeah.

And I love what you're saying that, like, looking to God first, because I think that's really what's been the bridge for me. Right. Of. I have this note in my phone. I'll share it with you. It was at a time that in my business, when I was at a crossroads, I was like, okay, am I going to go big with this thing, or I'm just going to stay small and fly under the radar? And God said to me, what would I. Or, you know, this question came to me just clear as day. What would I do if I really believe that the Lord is pleased with me and I'm never alone? And that was just like, oh, you know, he's pleased with me, so I can be pleased with me. Yeah. I'm never going to be alone. Like, he's always going to be there. And so that, I think, has been the bridge for me. And then just knowing. Trusting that the desires and the wisdom that I have inside of me are from him.

Yes.

Myself. Right. So I can trust that. Yeah.

Yes, yes. And remember, that's confidence and the firm belief in the reliability of your desires and of God and of your ability to make those desires your reality. Because if they're set, if they're placed inside us by divinity, then by law, that means we have the ability to create it in this reality.

Yeah.

And I think we have a sacred obligation and duty to do that because it was placed here by God. Also. That means you're not going to be alone in developing this skill and in developing disability to create this desire that you have. Because my God isn't cruel, and your God isn't cruel either. And he would never give us a desire and then be like, well, good luck getting that one to come to fruition. Let me know how it turns out. I got this other thing I'm working on right now, so don't bug me. You know, like, and. And. And when I talk about it like that, everybody laughs. But how often do we approach God like that, though? You're probably not going to help me. I'm not good enough to actually make this thing happen. Who am I then? And then as women, we get the guilt. We get that you're being selfish. If you follow your desires, you're going to abandon your children and your family and you're going to implode your whole life. Like, our mind just totally takes us off the cliff with that. When God is like, hey, will you just calm down and just know that you can start Right where you're at. And you just keep your hand in mind and you just decide that everything is always working out for you. And only good can come of this. And let it be messy, because there's going to be messy parts and there's going to be parts that you get totally wrong. But that's okay because you're going to see it and then you're going to see how big that gap is, and then you're going to be able to close that gap because it got so big so fast for you. And I'm going to help you with it.

Yeah.

And then it becomes. And then it becomes joy in the journey and really enjoying the experience and being willing to be wrong and being willing to fail. Because failure is no longer is a reflection on your level of lovableness or your level of enoughness. Failure is just where the gaps are that you didn't know were there.

And failure is the way to success. Right. It's the only way to success without the failing.

Yeah. You can't. And I know people in beginning of business, you know, and my business mentors back in the day were like, I failed my way to success. And I'm like, but did you? But did you? Because I'm pretty sure I'm having a big failure here. But now, you know, in hindsight, I'm like, oh, yeah, I totally. Most things that I do don't work, but the things that do work work bigger than the things that don't work.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

And it's all learning. Like, that's how I love to think about it as learning. And it's data.

Yes.

Yeah. And there's things that, you know, seasons that we go through in our business. I feel like that there's a lesson that has to be learned there from that failure from that time that we have to allow ourselves the space and time to learn the lesson. And then we will, you know, we'll be able to move on from it.

Yes. And here's the thing with that, with lessons, I firmly believe that failure happens so that we can get to our next level faster. So that's, that's why, like, people say, like, fail fast. Like. Yeah, because then you'll learn and then you'll, you'll ascend and you'll up level faster and with greater ease. But also the lessons we tend to think are punitive. Like, they're meant to punish us. Because think about it. I got to teach you a lesson is like, shame, shame on you. And so none of us want to learn a lesson. But here's a natural law of the universe. You cannot get to that next level until you've learned the lesson. For this level, it's meant to advance you. It's meant to actually bring you more joy. And if you will not learn the lesson, you will be taught it. And being taught it is a whole lot more intense and uncomfortable than just being willing to learn and then move on. So it's not out of punishment. It's not. Because it's not punitive at all. And I had to make that distinction in my mind as well. Like, all right, there's lesson. There's learning for me here so that I can go faster. So I'm up for it. I'm up for it. Give me the feedback. Give me the feedback. All right. Let me know where the gaps are.

Yeah. And then I think that makes that failure, like, we're more willing to take risks and not get shackled by that perfectionism, but just like jumping out, being able to take those risks, fail and learn, and do it all from a place of love and support and receiving that love and support and giving ourselves that right. Because I feel like, you know, I was raised and a lot of us were that in. In a very punitive environment. Right. Like. Like, if you didn't do what you're supposed to do, you got yelled at or, you know, like, what is wrong with you? But, you know, I've. I've discovered in this journey, becoming an entrepreneur, that being critical and punitive to myself does not encourage my growth. Right, right. It's that love and support and learning and curiosity that really gets us on that place of growth.

Yes, yes. 100%. 100% it does.

So one thing that I talk about a lot is, in my journey is about really stepping into our own value and the. In our worth. Right?

Yeah.

And so I would love to hear your. How you like to talk about value and worth. And I know you do teach on prosperity, so it has a lot of different meanings. Right. But how we as women can really own up to our value, because when we don't, we're like, undercharging under earning over hustling. And so what would you have to say to us in that arena?

Oh, man. You know, I would say, first take, like, rip a page from the notebook of a man. Because a man, especially like a high powered CEO or a successful entrepreneur, never questions his value, never questions his worth. Like, he walks around like the bomb dot com. And we tend to think, well, you're super arrogant. And so I'm going to go the opposite direction. And some of them are. But here's the thing. And this is also because we've been taught to get our value outside of us. I mean look at society. You got to be a certain height, a certain weight, a certain shape, a certain age and then you're worth something. And then as you age or gain weight or lose weight or whatever it is, then you get devalued. And so we're naturally looking for somebody to validate us and tell us that we're worth it. And that only comes from inside. And again, it's a decision and it's probably one of the hardest decisions for women to make is that their value is never on the table. And this is what really hurts us in business. Because when I first got started, my value was totally on the table. If somebody didn't like me then that meant I wasn't worth very much. If somebody didn't get the results that I really wanted them to get because they didn't do the work then. And that meant that I wasn't good enough to teach what I was teaching. So I mean it creates this really, really unhealthy thought system that goes on. And then you're over delivering but not from a sense of service, but from a sense of proving and like me. And then you're needy and grabby and desperate and just, it's just so, it's, it's, it's a, it's repulsing. It just, it just repels, it repels people away. And so, so it really does come down to your own decision that some things I offer the market doesn't want. But that doesn't have anything to do with my value. My intrinsic worth is never ever, ever on the table whether somebody likes me or not. And I'm a recovered people pleaser. I'm a former people pleaser. So like I would bend myself into all kinds of pretzel y shape so that nobody else was put out. I would. And in business what it looks like is taking an over developed sense of responsibility for your client's and so you make yourself source to them and then they get lazy and then they blame you. And then you take the blame and either refund them their money or try to go over and above and beyond. And it is just really icky energy that everybody is in. But when I decided that I was enough right at my skillset and that was never on the table, my value and my worth is right here with me. And again it is a decision and you just have to commit to that decision that I'm enough and I'm, I'm worth, I'm worth it because of my own experience, because of my level of care, my level of investment in somebody else's success. But I can't want it more than you because that's not how it works. And so, so really it is. I think it's one of the things that takes women the longest to learn, really, and to decide and to commit to that decision. But the faster you'll do it, the easier time you'll have of letting go of clients who don't renew, the easier time you'll have of letting go of the outcome. The easier time you'll have being authentic and genuine in conversations with people and what you see because their opinion, you understand, finally has nothing to do with you. It's their own filters, it's their own belief system, it's their own programming that's going on that you're either reflecting to them or triggering in them. And it really has nothing to do with you.

So what has that journey been like for you? I mean, you talk about it being a decision. What does that look like in practice? Or is that, is it a journey? Have you seen that be a journey of stepping into? I mean, as you're approaching, you know, being a million dollar CEO, you know, I think it's, it's a lot of integrating.

Your value. Yes, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And so it's really, it is a bit of a process. I will say it is a little bit of a process. It's a bit of a journey. But when you make the decision and then those other things creep in like, oh my gosh, what's she going to think about you? She's going to think whatever she wants to think about me, I have no control whatsoever. Like, Melissa, you're thinking something about me and I'm thinking something about you. And neither one of us have control over what either of us is thinking about about the other right now. And so, like, it's hers or it's his. And that gets to be theirs. And I get to really love who I'm becoming. That's actually a very attractive quality. And so, yeah, those, those little niggles of like, oh, but somebody's gonna be offended. Yeah, somebody is going to be offended. And again, they get to. And I get to not be bothered by it because of the process that I am in and my own growth journey. And they are in their own growth journey and right now they are not matching. And that is okay because there is Somebody that she or he is going to resonate with really well, that is not me, but there is somebody else that is just going to love me to pieces because I am embodying the next level of them right now. And I've done the work, so I can help them do the work as well. And so, and so it's just, it really is coming at those small little thoughts that are, you know, that keep you scared and keep you, you know, what if somebody asks for a refund? Well, then you just make sure that you have a policy in your paperwork that they have signed that there's no refunds because of the work that I do. Or if you want to have a refund, then put a refund in. Like, you get a whole lot more observational and you stop taking things so personally.

Yeah, I love that. That's such a great.

Refreshing. It's so refreshing.

Yeah, totally. So what I hear you saying is, number one, is just making that decision to decide that my value is not on the table. I'm already 100% valuable. And then it's number two, just having that awareness and curiosity when those, those nickels and dimes thoughts come up and you're like, oh, I see that my value is not on the table.

So, yeah, yeah. And you just, and you just hit on a buzzword of femininity, which is curiosity.

Yes.

Yeah, that is such a great word. Because when you're curious about something, you're not entangled in it. You're just like, huh, that's curious. Perhaps that's worth examining. But it's not because you're like, I have to fix anything. Yeah, that was unexpected. Which is also all about the feminine. The unexpected, the unknown, all of that. But, but, but the feminine really is the being energy. The masculine is the doing energy. And so when you start practicing being that next level of you who lets people have their opinions because they're going to have them with or without you. And also know that you are not wrong because of somebody else's opinion and they're not wrong because of their opinion either. Nobody has to be wrong. But you're just going to keep doing your thing and practicing being that next level of you because it's so much more fun than being current level you who's afraid and who's waiting for other people to tell her she's good enough. And because that story is so boring, it is so 1984, it has a predictable ending.

Right.

You're sniveling, you're begging, you're desperate. Like Blah. Like, ick. Yeah, let's be her and practice being her and leading with her. And it just. It just feels so much better. And. Yeah, yeah. You're going to have people that have an opinion about it and you get to decide how much you let it bother you.

Yeah. Yeah, I love that. So good. So talk to me a little bit how we just. How we can step further into that feminine energy and, you know, maybe how that relates to the work that you're doing. Maybe how that relates to the yearbook and any suggestions that you have.

Yes, Doing business like a woman is all about leading with feminine energy. And so it is so important to start your day in feminine energy because that's what makes us feel alive. It's the being energy. It's beauty.

It's.

It's the. It's being playful. It's your imagination. So, like, how everybody talks about, you got to do meditation, you got to do visualization. They're right. They're absolutely. Start your day there because you're starting your day in feminine energy. What's the energy that I want to use towards my work projects? Because if you're in the energy of hustle and grind, because you are, you know, you're waking up in trauma because your alarm is going right in the, you know, beginning of the day, and you're like, oh, my gosh. And then you're up and you're showering and you're getting your coffee. If you're a coffee drinker and then you're hitting the gym and then like, you haven't. You're not in any sort of being. You're more reactionary. But it has to become this priority that you start the day in feminine energy and you start with that intention. What's the energy that I want to use? Do I want the energy of creativity? Do I want the energy of peace? Do I want the energy of expansion? Do I want the energy of prosperity? Do I want the energy of beauty or fun? That's the being. Like, who am I going to be and what are my behaviors going to be as I approach the emails or as I approach billing or as I approach, you know, whatever it is that you're doing in your company that day? It makes the biggest difference of all. But it's also really important to know that you have to go back to source throughout your day. Like, we need to get. We need to get juiced back up throughout the day. We don't just eat breakfast and then we're done for the day, or we don't Just drink one cup of water and then we don't drink for the rest of the day. And this is where a lot of women go off the rails because they get into too much masculine energy. They get into too much of the push and too much of the do when they're going by their to do list and crossing off tasks. And in the meantime it feels heavier and heavier and heavier. And then they start saying things like, just 15 minutes, just push through this, just push through this. And then they're like, I hate this so much. Why am I doing this? Maybe I shouldn't have started my own business. But all that means is you've been a masculine too long. Yeah, you need to go back to feminine. And the fastest way to get back into feminine is movement. Get into your body, turn on some music and swing your hips back and forth, roll your shoulders. I am a dancer, but I have zero skill, so I am just going to put that out there. You don't have to have any sort of skill to move your hips and to shake your booty and to just move your shoulders back to some music that you really love. Two minutes. Two minutes. Get yourself back in your body. You do need to leave whatever environment you're in. So if you're in a home office, go into your bedroom or go out into the backyard. If you're at a workplace, go into the ladies room or go into a hallway. But change your physical environment. You don't have to move too far away from it. Just change your physical environment, put on some music and move or breathe or feel your body. The feminine is sensual. That means get into your senses. What are you smelling? Is that. What are you tasting on your mouth? Even if you haven't eaten anything, there's still taste in your mouth. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? And I'll just. I'll just like touch my arms, I'll touch my knees just to get myself back in my body. And then you come back into work and suddenly you can focus. This is kind of how you bend time and space, btw. Then you can focus. You can stay present in the moment. Now you've got this renewed energy and you can collapse time and space because no longer does it take you the whole hour to do a task. Now suddenly it's only taken you 10 minutes because, boom, you found the answers, you found the solutions. The copy is just coming to you. You get it out there and boom, you're done and you're having a great time. Like the power of the feminine cannot be stressed Enough as business women of starting your day in the feminine and approaching everything from a playful, flirty, seductive kind of a. An angle. And just play with your work, flirt with your work, flirt with your environment. And flirting is just thoroughly enjoying yourself. Like, what are we going to do today? Oh, we're going to have some fun. I'm wearing purple today. I'm feeling really peppy today. It's stuff like that, and we giggle at it, and we tend to, you know, we tend to dismiss it. But don't let the simplicity rob you of the power of doing things like that.

Yeah, no, I love that. It's. Yeah, it's definitely a lot different than the. I'm putting my air quotes. The time blocking kind of right.

You know, and. And then there's a place for time blocking.

Totally. But I love this, having that awareness. So when it feels heavy, you know, this is our. Our practical life work. So when we start feeling that heaviness or that, you know, I'm feeling stuck, or everything is just moving so slow, we cut bait, we leave the room and we go have a little dance party or move our body somehow. Yes.

It's so simple. It's so refreshing. And it brings our radiance back because it makes us women again. And it just. It's a game changer. It's a total game changer. And if you want your business to grow faster, you want it. I don't believe in hustle. I don't believe in grind. I do believe there are times of push. Like, you had children. I have four children. I pushed every one of those out of my body. I didn't just, like, sit there and receive. Right. I was just like, all right, I showed up, so now make it happen. Like, I had to be an active participant in the birthing of that. And when we have anything in a project or anything at work, it's a birth. So there are times to push, but not all the time. And you can push without hustle. And I believe that there is only one place where grinding is good, but that is not what this podcast is about. And so if we have. We are in grind, it's because something's off. If our gears grind in the car, something is wrong, and we're going to burn something out really fast unless we fix it it. So if you're grinding and if you're in this hustle, hustle is scarcity, hustle is lack. Busyness is hustle as well. And so go as fast as you can without hurrying, because you can, and you'll Feel it the second you get into hustle, the second you get into hurry because you start feeling panicked.

Yeah.

Go as fast as you can without hurrying. Don't worry. Don't rush. Play. Play with your work.

Yeah. And I imagine if we open ourselves up to that play, then we actually end up probably getting more done, you know, without push. Yeah.

Yep, yep.

You do. So in talking about pushing. Yeah. I mean, there's definitely times in our business, like if we have a launch or something, like when you're. When your book came out. I'm sure there was a lot, you know, that was. There was some pushing there.

Yes, yes, there was. Yes, there was. When you got a dead.

Huh.

There's a push there.

So talk to me about how you manage that from that feminine energy perspective. Because you're also. I mean, something I really value is, you know, taking care of ourselves and allowing for that energy renewal. And, you know, I guess this is very near and dear to my heart because I had a very, very full week and so there was a lot of pushing in my week and I don't feel like I really planned enough, like rest and renewal time. So it's Friday now as we're recording this, and I'm just like feeling way tapped out. So. So yes, there are push times, but how can we support ourselves to get through those in a way that's generative and not burning ourselves out?

Yeah. So this is where the masculine comes in to support the feminine. So when we lead with feminine, which is our desire. Regina Thomas shower says that the primary function of feminine is desire, and the primary funct of masculine is the production of that desire. And so we do need the masculine to support the feminine. It is important that we have time blocking things or that we have systems in place to run credit cards and to, you know, we have a place where our program is housed so that there's. Although that's feminine, that's organization, but then we have the physical structure that houses it. And so when you have a full week, so. So I. So I love that you said full week because I'm getting out of like, oh, I'm so busy into now. This is just a full day. This is a really full day. And so I will use my calendar as containers. So I'll let the calendar support me in my desire. I've got 29 things that I need to do, but I am not up for doing all 29 of them today. So I think I'll do eight today. And I'm going to give myself this much time And I'm going to schedule it in. So I'm not working with, you know, 80 million post it notes around my desk and I'm not working on. Off of a to do list list. I am working off my calendar and I am letting that support me. And I am not letting it rule me. I am letting it support me. Especially when you have full weeks like this where you know you are probably going to be gassed by the time you are done. That regular rest and recovery has to be put in. It has to. Women need that more than men, quite honestly, because of the way that our bodies are made with testosterone and that, that energy that, that push and that making us really, really productive is caused by testosterone. And men have 16 times more testosterone that naturally occurs in their body than women do. So if we're in all of this push all the time and there's no downtime, over time, it eats our organs. Because our test. Because our testosterone in women is produced through our ovaries, half through our ovaries and half through our, I think, pituitary gland. I might be wrong on that. No, our adrenals. Because when our adrenals release testosterone, it also releases adrenaline, and that's a stress hormone. And if we're in adrenaline for too long, it shuts our organs down. And so this is not women being lazy, because that's what we're told. Burn the midnight oil. And because we're looking at how, how men do it. And men are served really well by that because of the naturally occurring testosterone they have. We're not served by that. We have to have downtime. We have to have rest. I am like you. I had a really full week and I didn't sleep well. So I got about four hours of sleep and my body needs seven to function really, really well. And I'm like, all right, I got to create space in my day so I can, so I can take a nap because I'm not available to just like pushing content out or coaching clients or any of that when I am half asleep. Because I am not there. And there is no need for me to push because I will get so much more done if I will take 45 minutes to an hour and just lie down. So it is really making yourself that priority which women are taught not to do. But you did mention, you said self care. Self care is key.

Key.

When you take care of yourself. Well, when you don't take care of yourself, you know how you know it, you're grouchy, right?

Yeah.

You know, you start complaining okay, I'm gonna say you. I start complaining about how overwhelmed I am, and it's so. And then I get really martyry with my husband. I wish I could play with the kids like you play with the kids. Like, I just. Oh, I just get so unattractive. And then. And I'm like, how long has it been since I've had a massage? How long has it been since I've sat down and just read a fun novel? How long have I. Have I had that me time to just really regenerate? Oh, it's been a hot minute. Okay. And again, it's one of those things that are devalued by men just because of the. Because of the constructs. All right. It's just because of what society has taught us. And the paradigms have been happening for hundreds and thousands of years.

Yeah.

Men. Men need to, you know, they need rejuvenation, but not like women and. And women. Because feminine is. Is beauty. That is a feminine characteristic to get us back into our feminine. It's why we love getting our nails done and our hair done and a pedicure and the massage and, like, the spa day and like, all the things. Don't devalue that.

Yeah.

That will get you to that next level of you and will actually bring more money into your company. It. I promise you it will.

Well, yeah. Nice. Yeah. And for me, self care can even be as simple as, like, having my lunchtime salad already prepared, you know, so.

I have some lunch to eat and we forget to eat, don't we? Oh, my gosh. And I love food so much, Melissa. I love food so much. Then I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's been four hours since I ate. No wonder why I have a headache. No wonder why I can't even think straight. Like, our body will tell us if we will just listen and honor it and then fuel it with something nutritious. But, yeah, I agree. I mean, self care doesn't have to be these huge, elaborate things. It can be taking the nap. It can be having the salad prepared for you. It can be, I think a level of self care that most people are not getting is the mental self care and just being able to release. I mean, we are all in some pretty deep energy right now with lots of. Lots of uncertainty going on right now. Now in the economy and in the world and in society. And that. That can be overwhelming if we allow it to be. And we can't as women, we can't be available to that. And so any kind of if you, if you've got high vibing girlfriends where you can, where you can say here, here's where I'm at. And they can love you through it, but also walk you through it. Because I mean, we've got a lot, we got our girlfriends like that we've had for a long time, but they're. And we love them so much, but it just becomes kind of this complaining fact and we don't want that. We want people that are going to hold us kind of to a higher standard, but also let us be where we're at and walk us through it. Or any kind of energy work like Reiki or foot zoning or even talk therapy, horse therapy, breath work, like I'm learning more and more, like I really need to therapize myself. That is such an important part of self care, you know, and meditation is a great form of self care and you can, can, you can learn breath work and you can learn meditation just by going on YouTube. And that is critical. Critical for where we're at right now, for our self care.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's awesome. So as your business has really just, you're experiencing so much success in your business and you're doing it on your own terms in the way that really feels good to you, maybe share with us kind of the view from the other side, so to speak, you know, like, what are some of the, maybe the thoughts and beliefs that you've been cultivating about yourself and your business that have really helped you get to this place and you know, get to where we all want to be?

Oh, that is such a beautiful question. Well, it starts with, everything is always working out for me and only good can come of this because even as you get higher and higher levels of success, there is upset, there is always something, there's always a challenge that's going on. And so when I was first in business, you know, like my first seven years, not like the first seven months, like this is a process I went through, it was all like panic and it was all like, I call it. I was playing sudden death death matches with my business all the time. If this doesn't work, we will be destroyed. And that was actually the language that I use because I'm a bit of a drama mama. I don't know if you can catch that from this interview.

It's the flaming red hair that gave me.

Right. I think probably a little bit of that. My smile that's, you know, eight miles long. So, so I would, I would be telling myself, like, this has to Work. This has to work. This has to work. On the other side of it, everything is always working out for you, like, and, and only good can come of this. Only good can come of this. And so I would tell myself that, and I continue to tell myself that as we're in transition as well. But I was always, I was always waiting for someone to discover me, you know, like somebody would be like, you have this. You got the it factor, right? I was looking, I was looking for somebody to tell that to me. And it wasn't until I realized I need to claim that for me, I have the it factor. I have what it takes. I have the work ethic, I have the drive, I definitely have the desire. Now I just got to mentally own it, that I already have it. And it's not from a place of arrogance, it's not from a place of I'm better than anybody else. But until we as women business owners claim our greatness and that we believe belong here in the business world and doing it differently and being different and giving people a different experience, no man is ever going to give that to us because that's not their job. And even if they did, if we didn't believe it, it wouldn't do us any good anyway. It's the whole enoughness factor, right? And so, and so, so now looking back, I look at her with great compassion instead of censured, instead of judgment because we're all doing the best we can at the skill level we have. And then we just, I just, I'm obsessed with skilling up. I'm obsessed with that higher level of mindset and thinking and how to think like an eight figure CEO. What do they think? Like, how do they process what happens? What's their perspective? And so I study that. I study my mentor, how she thinks and what she talks about and who she reads and like all of those things. And I think, do you know what? If she can do it, I can't. There's no reason why I can't. Yeah, I've got the, I've got the desire, just like she did. And so it really is like a deeper level of mental ownership and then just really, really working hand in hand with God and understanding that he's my CEO, he's the senior in this partnership. And I'm more here for the ride and the honor that it is to, to be an instrument in his hands to bring peace and joy and help women end the struggle. Because the struggle isn't necessary. The challenge is, but the struggle isn't. And so that is like that, that is such a sacred privilege to me and it's so much darn fun that I just keep telling myself, you know what? You're going to get through this. We're going to get through this. God is in all the details. That's another thing, that's another thing that I tell myself all the time. God's in all the details in every day, every part of my life. So it's my job. If I'm going to stay in a high level of thinking and high level of activity, then I got to, I got to see where his hand is. So like this conversation we're having is evidence to me that God's hand is in my life because he knows how much I get turned on and lit up by this kind of high vibe conversation.

Yeah.

And so that's how God tells me that he loves me or warm weather. I mean, I choose really, really simple things. But I look at where he is and all of the details. I found that I love metal straws and I got a metal straw and he's in those details. He brought it to me because he loves me. And it was like, got $4, you know, like, like whatever. It's all, it's all those really simple things. You know, a kiss from my husband, hugs from my son, like that is God being in the details. And even in those uncomfortable moments because you know this, Melissa, as we grow, there are, there are growing pains involved. There are uncomfortable things that we have to do as we up level our business. It's the same for everything. If we want a better relationship, we have to improve our communication. We have to improve who we are being. And that can be enormously uncomfortable from time to time. But, but when you are willing to say yes and willing to just lean in it, you just know only good can come of this. This is for my good. This is for my good. It's a universal law. This is, this is for my good. It's the law of polarity. So like here we are. It's not my favorite law to experience, but, but I'm for it. And when you're willing to just say yes, I mean, God would get me with that question all the time. When I would argue with things he wanted me to learn, he would just ask, well, are you willing, are you willing to try it? Are you willing to learn it? And all the time my answer was yes. He was like, ok. And then life got really, really good and really fun. It is those things that we resist the most that bring the biggest Blessings that bring the biggest joy and the most money, quite honestly.

Yeah, I love it. I just love that perspective of really looking for God in the details. It's such a different perspective than, you know, the scarcity which I think is so pervasive in our culture.

Oh, yes.

That we don't have or what's not happening for us. But really paying attention to the little details of where God is and where the abundance already is in our lives.

It's already here. It's already here. It's literally at our fingertips. You know, I have a quote that says comfort and growth aren't friends. And I'm like, you know what, that is so true. But that doesn't mean we can't be comforted as we grow.

Yeah.

And this is one of the ways that I comfort myself on a daily basis as I grow.

Nice. I love it. Thank you so much for this conversation. It's been such a bucket filler for me. As you know, I'm feeling tired today, but this has totally energized me and I really appreciate all of your wisdom and your beautiful energy and thank you so much for being here. And before we go though, I do want to hear just a little bit about your book. Would you share us, share with us about your book?

Yes. So the prosperity approach actually came out of the whole disaster quote, air quotes, the disaster of the bankruptcy and everything. And so it was, it's a very simple formula to have massive, massive success. And so it was, we've got universal laws in there and how it actually, how they actually apply to your life. And I found that there's 21 different universal laws that govern prosperity and success that go way beyond law of attraction. And as I continued to research, I realized I could put these into two different categories. There's laws to use to get us going when we're all like fresh eyed and bushy tailed. And there are laws to use when nothing's working because there is always a point where it feels like everything's falling apart. And there are laws that you use to help you navigate through that. So I just, I just share my experience through all of that with the laws and with things that you can do with spiritual loss like gratitude and how to actually use it for you as a tool to help you elevate and tool to bring in more success and just really, really practical ways to bring more prosperity into your life.

Awesome. I love it. I'm going to go out and get that. Thank you.

I hope you do. I hope you enjoy it. I'll Send you one. I'll send you one and I'll sign it for you. How about. Oh, that'd be so sweet. I would love that. I would love to do that for you.

Well, thank you so much for being here. And what is the best way for us to stay connected with you everybody?

An At a Glance document that I created about feminine and masculine energy. Can I drop that? Oh, yeah.

Notes. Yeah.

Sweet. Awesome. It's@ProsperityApproach.com at a glance and I created a list that shows you the feminine qualities and the masculine qualities and how we show up in each of them in empowered energy and disempowered energy. Because we, we show up very differently in each of these. In each of these energies. And it helped me so much to know where am I leading with more? Am I more masculine or am I in more feminine? And am I feeling empowered or disempowered? So I would love to give that to everyone. And you can also check out my website. It's Allison Chavez.com and we have free resources and meditations and the book is there. We have got all the things there for you to help you get to your next level of success without the struggle and to be more and more prosperous in every area of your life.

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being such a great example of what is possible and I just appreciate your time and energy and look forward to seeing you again soon.

Thank you so much for having me. What a joy.

You are so welcome. If you like this podcast then you have got to sign up for more My free On demand video training Grow youw Sales Doing what yout Love Where I teach you in depth. My simple process that you can implement right away to harness your mindset and.

Your skills to grow your sales to.

Whatever level you want.

So go grab that now.

The link is in the show notes and I'll see you next time.