052. How to Create Calm in the Chaos of Business and Life with Heather Greco

Welcome. I am marketing expert and business coach Melissa Kellogg Lueck. And this is the Doing Business Like a Woman podcast where we are exploring and teaching you how women are reinventing the way business is done and money is made to help you create greater impact and financial freedom one business at a time. Hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited that you have joined me here today. I have a really special episode for you. I know I always say that, but this one's going to be amazing. We have Heather Greco with us today and she is an entrepreneur, a single mom and lots going on for her and she's going to help us get and I know we have all have lots going on, but she's going to really help us around simplifying and getting things done and taking care of ourselves and our kids and all the things involved with that and growing our business at the same time. Right. It's a three ring circus. So as we start, Heather, I just want to ask you to please introduce yourself and talk about your work and tell us all the things and then we'll hop into some questions.

Absolutely. Hi, it's so nice to be here. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to share and hopefully change one life today. And so I'm, I'm Heather. I'm in Austin, Texas. I'm a mom of three kiddos, third grader, second grader and kindergartener. Hands are full. They are a lot of fun, but a lot of work. And then I am a sales and marketing specialist in, in the legal field and also social media expert as well. I've dabbled. I teach new business owners how to use social media, like literally how to post, where to go, like not like the growth and all the statistics and all the things like grow your things. At 10K I was like, this is how you post, this is where you put it, you know, and all the things that way to help hopefully grow businesses faster and smarter. We all have learning curves and we all are usually one step ahead of someone else. And so being able to share knowledge about how to be smarter with your time systems to put in place because I feel like sometimes systems come later and then we're playing catch up or we have those growing pains where we have so much sorry, this is my business is chaos and cookies. So you're hearing that too. That's an unexpected doorbell ring. And so basically you don't want to suffer from the growing pains of all the momentum you get and then you don't have, then you lose clients or you can't take on work, and it's very counterproductive. And so for me, I have a really strange knack for seeing things in all different ways and trying to create different routes all the time and planning ahead. I always say plan for the worst or hope for the best because you can't create. You can only control yourself, and you can't control when chaos ensues, whether that be personal, business, whatever. And so just being really prepared and really being intentional with our time on how we grow business, on how we are present in our home and running our house like a business as well, not just our actual financial.

Yeah. Awesome. Thank you so much. So talk a little bit about that. Like how you manage all the things and the knack that you have for figuring out the different ways, like, how you've done that for yourself.

So for me, I am a single mom, like you had mentioned, and there's a lot of balls in the air whether you're a single parent or happily married. Right? It do have a lot of balls in the air, especially as a mom, because we keep everything to ourselves. It's usually the answer of, I'll do that later or I'll just do it because we. We feel like it's easier and we don't want to spend the time to wait for our kid to tie their shoe. Oh, my gosh, it's like 20 minutes. Like, can I please just do it so we can get out the door? But then you want them to learn at the same time. So there's a lot of pull in different directions. And so that's how we also get with our business. We get pulled in a direction because you want to grow your business, because we're instant gratification society these days. And, you know, got doordash, you got Amazon. Everything you order, it's here, right? So why can't our business be like that? But it takes time. Just like when we become parents. Like, there's no manual. Every kid's different. Every marriage is different. So having to navigate different scenarios in our own way is very important to remember because the way Susie does it is not. Works great for her, and it looks really awesome on our end. But if we try it like Susie and we don't and we fail at it, we typically just give up as people. Oh, we tried. It didn't work. Instead of adapting the style and method to our own way, you know, time of day, how we do it, how much time. Because her. Her perfections on our perfection, and our perfection is not someone else's. And so Being really open to ways to do things in our business and at home that might not look picture perfect, Instagram worthy to everyone, but it's Instagram worthy to you because it's what makes it work for you. It's really important to know that like your normal is yours. That's perfection. It doesn't have to fit the box that if you will.

Yeah. And so how do you deal with that perfectionism? Because I mean, you know, there's only 24 hours in a day and you have a lot, you have a lot of balls in the air. Like growing a business mom of three, single mom of three, having a, an employer outside of that, like there's a lot going on there. And so how do you make it okay? Because I'm sure you're doing the best that you can in all of those areas. And how do you make that okay for yourself?

So for, for me, I wasn't in the formal workforce until January of 2022 when I had to going through a divorce. Getting an actual job that has benefits for one. Because when you're a woman you typically typically on the husbands. I know that there's reverse. It just depends on if they're both working professionals. But I his, his benefits were always better because it's a bigger company. So I'm losing that. My children are great. I don't have to worry about them, which is nice. I have to worry about me. And also I have to get a loan for a home. I can't do that on a business that doesn't produce that type of scenario yet. Right. And so I recognize that. And so as I'm working through this new phase, it's okay. I'm juggling this piece. Thank God it's a remote piece. My business was always there, but now it's, you know, it's ramping up and just making sure that I have my time blocking system. I love me a color coded calendar, but this is goes really beyond the color coded calendar and the planner. This really goes to being like timers. I love timers. Timers are awesome. I also suffer from OCD and anxiety and so if it's not perfect, it's very difficult. I've had to learn that like I gotta release some control because you can't control everything. And then it actually drives you more crazy when you try and you just don't let be. But I have then taken that focus and taken that perfectionism and said, okay, where can I put it? In my home or in my systems where it can and always will. Be perfect. So I created ways in my house to consolidate tasks so my kids can get involved in it in the way I want them to. It's not controlling them, but it's it creating the process where there's really no other way to do it and it's the way that I like it. And so they have no choice but to do it and they don't know that there's any other way kind of thing. Does that make sense?

Yeah, totally.

For instance, now knowing I have a job and I have my business and I have to take them to school because I don't have a spouse to take them to school my mornings and I'm not a morning person. If you follow me or know anything about me, I'm not a morning person. I'm not shy to tell you I've tried. I'm in the process of trying. It's just not working. It's not going to keep trying, trying different things and just not. So I don't want to have arguments with my children the morning. I'm not my best self. I'm not my best self till about right about now, which is 11 o' clock in the morning. And so they know this, but I know this. And it's very important first to recognize that in yourself. Like know your faults, know what your capacity is. Like, I know for a fact I am not a morning person. So we need to work this in. So I was tired of battling my 5 year old on what he was wearing. They are in private school, so there's not a lot of options. It's a uniform or it's a pe. I think you get one free like dress day. But I have three of them and three of them have three different PE schedules. So who has PE today? I don't know. I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? You go to school every day, you don't know what day. I should know this. So on Sundays I will go and fold, take out all of the clothes for the week. And I bought these organization shelves. They're just the cloth ones that hang from your closet. And there's five spaces, they look like shoes or you can put whatever in there. Super like 12 bucks on Amazon. And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, it's five days. I don't care about the weekend. And I go and I put Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, all the weeks for them. So in the mornings they can help me pick out whatever they need for their free day. If there's crazy sock day, I can prepare ahead of Time instead of looking for the socks the morning of, I'm thinking and I'm snapping and I'm like, why didn't you tell me yesterday or last week? Right, yeah, all the things. Of course, because kids are like, oh, I forgot, I didn't know. Or I forgot to open the email. As a mom so you can prepare all the things that you know. Then I can either a go to the. What I have developed into doing instead of them going to the cubby and picking it out in the morning, I'll like the night before because that was my habit before is pulling it out, putting it on the dresser, I'll just go in and grab it. Your clothes for the day. I already know that it's right. And so in the morning they already know what to wear. There's no argument my 5 year old still will switch it up on me a little bit. But that's his personality. And at this point I'm like, you know what? That the school can call me. At least your shirts on and we'll go out the door. So at least I've got two dressed and one I got to like finagle. But it saves me time. It's an extra 10 minutes. And it's about being proactive. Yeah, Reactive. Because when you start your day reactionary. Oh, you don't start your day great. And you're then trying to like go from flipped to like cloud calm again. You're flipping your kids out by yelling at them. So then they have to go to school and they're already like spiraling because mom's stressed and I'm stressed and now how am I supposed to function at school? And then I have to come home and try to calm myself down and like breathe because all of something that I probably could have been a little bit more proactive at and also have the talking points of, well, to my children, you've got this job, this is your responsibility. Like, you know, it's just teaching. And so it gives them a sense of self, self sufficiency and accomplishment when they do it. And it gives them independence, it gives me peace of mind that it's set up for them and it's foolproof, it's labeled. They can read the days of the week and you know, it helps a lot. So then you're using your morning as, hey, good morning, what you want for breakfast? Instead of stop, go change like now, we gotta rush, we gotta get out the door, you gotta eat in the car. Don't spill it in my car. Because then I gotta come Home and then I gotta clean it and then my car, all these things. Right. So that's one of the systems I've put into place. And then for me, I did it too. I like to be intentional with me working out. I know I'm not a morning person, but my schedule is I drop them off, come home, I go straight to my workout. If I don't, I won't get it in. Just know it's. I've tried the workout in the morning before they get up and it's just not sustainable for me. I'm a happier person when I do because I'm already up and awake and my endorphins are going and I know that they feel the effects of it. So I am continuing to try, but I don't know yet if I can sustain it. So I try. That's my goal. But at least at night, all of my workout pants and all of my things are in my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. So then I can't do have an excuse for myself in the morning to say, oh, I can't find the pants or I can't find the top that matches. I'm a big matcher.

Can't find my sports bra. I'm not working out today.

Right. So then I go drop them off in my sweatpants. Most likely I'm gonna just roll right into work because I work from home.

Yeah.

So I probably won't get the workout in sweatpants, so. And I won't work out barefoot, even though a lot of people do. So it's one of those things that I put it out, it's there. I also know once I got that sports bra on and once I got those tight yoga pants on, I'm going to want to get them off. I'm not going to hang out in them all day, so I better either go work out. I didn't just put them on for nothing and wrestle myself into them like at 8, you know, 6 o' clock in the morning when I'm not a morning person anyway. So let's just make the best of this and take care of business. And you never get mad at yourself for getting a workout in. So those are the types of things where you set yourself up for success. You set yourself up and your kids up for success and then it's just a smoother sale for the day.

Yeah, I love that. So it's really that creating that system and the habits, it sounds like that's really paid off for you in that part. And so talk about the, how that flows into your business and your workday and some of the systems and habits that you have set up in your.

Sure.

Business.

So for me, my business and when I coach to try to find time or consolidate and get creative with how to do all the things without feeling like we're running around and spinning our wheels all day and then feeling like at the end of the day we sit down and we got nothing done but we were busy all day. So being really intentional. So first I list my three non negotiables for the day. That can be personal, that can be business, that could be me taking five minutes just to calm down, like whatever, have my cup of coffee, whatever it is, that's my non negotiable for that day. And then I list three high priority things that will be moved to after my non negotiables are done or can fit it in in between depending on what those non negotiables are. And I set time limits for them. How long do I need for X, Y and Z and be being realistic with it and setting timers. Timers can be a great thing. I don't use my phone as a timer because when we're on our phones and say you're, let's just say like social media, for instance, we can get sucked into the hole. Right. I'm doing, I'm going to get on, I'm just going to check my stats, I'm going to check the thing and then I'm getting off. Oh, that's such a cute puppy. And now I'm watching puppy reels for 30 minutes. Oops.

Right?

It's the way it goes. Everyone's done it. It's okay. I did it yesterday. I went down the rabbit hole of a really cute dog that pushes buttons that talk. It's amazing. I was like, oh my gosh, I've got to stop.

I do that all the time. I get in there and I'm for something and I forget totally what I went in there for. Right. Whether it's to respond to a message or do something very noble. And then yeah, the scroll, it's like, it's just, it is magnetic.

I know. That's a whole nother thing for business owners. And a pain point for them is like social media. I don't get it. So that's a whole nother conversation. But I don't want to do it on my phone because say I'm scrolling and I'm doing my 20 minutes of research or engagement or whatever it is I'm doing to grow my business or maybe it's my just timeout for the day. Like, I'm just gonna just zone in on dog stuff for 20 minutes because it makes me happy and I can share it with my friends and it makes me feel good. When the alarm goes off on my phone, it makes it very easy to push that snooze button because it's on my phone. I'm in the. In the realm of I'm already on my screen or the okay, I've got it button. And then not put it down. I'll dismiss it and then keep going. And I'll be like, oh, yeah. So I use. I've got two hourglasses. They're ten minutes apiece. Oh, cool. So I'll flip one over and when that's over, I mean, you can use one if you really wanted to, but I do, too, because it's a visual for me. I flip one over, and that's my timer to do. To do. I look to see when. And I put it kind of in my eyesight so I can see. So because what will happen, right? You put it to the side and you're like. It stands silent. Can't see it when it runs out. So I put it in my eyesight when I. It stops and it's dark blue, so I can't miss it. And then I'll flip the second timer over, and that's my other 10 minutes. But now I know that my halfway point has hit, so I need to actively wrap it up. And then when that's done, I'm done. It's not something I can just dismiss. I mean, I guess I could put it, like, away and not listen to it, but being intentional in those ways, because our phones are great tools, but it can be our worst enemies as well, right? Yeah, for sure. Because you can easily just push the button. Sometimes I'll get a text from my mom, and I'm in the middle of something, and then I'll forget. She's like, you didn't text me. I'm like, I didn't. I saw it. Oops. Because I was in the middle and it's like, so you have to be intentional that way. So setting timers and then going back to that whole routine. Like, if you're going to check your email, I check my email in the morning for 20 minutes. I look at all the things. I craft my day. Obviously, if you have an emergency, you handle it. And then I'll. I won't check it for another few hours and. Or I'll do the tasks I need to do like I need to respond to all these emails and I'll mark them and then I'll go respond to them in my other time that I've allotted in my time block later. As long as I'm getting all my other stuff done and at the end of my day I look at, I want to get my non negotiables done first. Then anything high priority that did not get done moves to a non negotiable to the next day. Doesn't become high, doesn't stay high priority. It goes to non negotiable. So then you are making a commitment that, okay, that's very important to me. Not today, but now, tomorrow it will have to be. And you will make time and you will get it done. And what you will also do as a separate exercise that I do at least is I look at it and say, how much time did it take me? Did I allow too much time for it? Was it not enough time? And how did it make me feel while I was doing the task or after I finished it? Like, how do I feel? Do I feel accomplished? Do I feel like I could have done better? Do I feel like that sucked? I don't like it, I don't want to do it. Maybe this is something I delegate to my assistant or figure out a way to combine it with a different task. Like, oh, I could have done that and that together. So just looking at it and, and understanding where you can combine all the tasks you're doing and if you log it and look at it on paper instead of in your mind, it makes a lot more sense and it becomes more like a puzzle. So that's how my business is run. Where I set timers, I hold appointments, I do have a va. She saves my life. It's worth it. She's in the US too. I love her. She's saved my butt and helped me get through my divorce. She manages all the, like, she just helps me and if it's something I don't like doing or if I have to, I hate canceling on people. I'm people pleaser. Makes me feel bad, but I know that I need to or there's a conflict. So I let her do it. I just now know about myself I'm not good at it. Yeah, I will say yes to a lot of things when maybe I shouldn't. So I let her do it because she can act for me in a respectful way and I don't have to feel bad, but I'm also acting in the best interest of my business. And keeping it on the brand. On brand and on my track than saying yes. Because I'm gonna feel bad if I say no because it's a great business and it's a great speaker, but really doesn't go with what I do. So I'm gonna say yes anyway. It confuses, so you have to. And I know I'm bad at that, so I delegate it. That's good.

I think it's good to know what you are best at and what you're not. Right. And really lean into those areas and. Yeah. Have good support for the areas that you're not.

Yes. And I think if, you know you're easily distracted, you need to create a space and create a system that you can follow well. And not me. It might be a change. Like, we talk about habit stacking and trying to learn new habits. So we put them in between two things that we already do naturally to make it a habit and make it part of our routine. So it does take work. It's not supposed to, you know, all come easy, but you try to make it easier. And you. Your way of easy. It might not look like someone else's. Like, I don't like to do laundry. I know. I. I hate laundry. I am fortunate enough that I've been able to have, like, a sitter that helps me, and she's. I tell them, you're tasked with the laundry. I'm not. I don't like it. I'll fold it. I'll do it. I'll do my kids. Mine. Forget it. Like, I've got three baskets I haven't put away. She's leaving and going off and doing her thing. And my kids are older and I don't need as much help, and I just need to put the big girl pants on and do it. I have to now go back to carpool and have to go pick them up. Because she would help me with that to give me a little bit extra time in my afternoon for my work before the kids come home and bombard me. And I have to be mom.

Yeah.

And be in that space and present with them as well. It's very important, especially going through divorce. You don't want them to feel like everything else is important over them, especially when they're doing their own life changes. So that's. But also setting a boundary and saying, well, let me finish this, or, hey, guys, I'm home. You're home. Great. 20 minutes. Here's my 20 minutes. But after my 20 minutes, I need to go back to work, finish things up and then when I'm done, I'll be really done and setting those. So knowing where that goes. But I used to fold laundry in my car in the carpool lane, which is how I went viral, because I was in the zone. Covid didn't have anyone because we were terrified of people coming in our house. Alarm goes off. I have an alarm at 2:30 every day to remind me that I have to go pick my kids up from school whether I'm doing it or not. A. It preps me, okay, they'll be home in an hour if someone else is getting home or, oh, I gotta stop what I'm doing because I need to go get them. I don't wanna be that parent. So I set an alarm every day. Whether I'm taking. Picking them up or not. My alarm goes off. I'm like, are you kidding me right now? I am like in the zone laundry. Hyped up, mentally there. Hate this, but I'm doing it. And I just grabbed the. I was like. And now I have to go sit in my car for an hour because you have to be early. Because if you're not early, you're late. And then they're the last ones that get picked up, right? And you have to wait your turn to pick everyone up. And I would just be like, well, I have to sit there. I usually just sit and scroll. Social anyway.

Mm.

Might as well make some use of my time because at home I have to sit still doing laundry. And it's. I think that's why I don't like it. It's so unproductive. I can't multitask while doing laundry. You literally have to stand in one place and fold. You can't like, do it as you walk around. Unless you have like a. One of those wearable. Like, maybe I didn't. I don't know if those exist.

Do they? A wearable laundry basket.

You know those things, like at a concession stand, like, where they're like, popcorn, get your popcorn. It's like a. Yeah. I was like, maybe get one of those and f input then I can't see though, right? So those. That's how my brain works, guys. Like, I kind of try to figure out how to do multitasking. Sometimes things are just not to be multitasked with.

So I go, my multitasking is folding laundry and either watching tv, like watching a show I want to watch, or listening to a book or listening to a podcast. So I'll like do that kind of multitasking.

A me time, plus being Productive at home.

Yeah.

Right. So that's. Yeah, that's the idea. So I do that in my car while listening to a podcast. Or maybe I'm doing my social media live while doing my laundry. Here's something to talk about. So just getting creative. And when the kids get home, you get to say, hey guys, when you put your stuff away, take this with you. It's all folded and ready to go. So that time is now being spent not doing mindful things. And that worked for me. Yeah, it sounds absurd because it's like, how do you move around your car? You just get creative. It works for me, might not work for somebody else. My mom really likes laundry, so when she comes over, I'm like, mom, fold the laundry. Yeah. So are you still.

Are you still doing that folding laundry in the car?

Is that. I'm going back to that. Because my nanny will not be here anymore to help me in the afternoons. If she will help me, it will be in the morning times. Maybe I'm not a morning person. So she can take them to school a couple days a week would be fantastic. That's where I would probably work her in. I will be doing afternoon pickups. So yes, I will be going back to doing that because I have to do laundry too, because she won't be here to do it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Adapting and preparing and knowing that that's how. But knowing that that system worked for me and then not having to do it for a while. I don't stress about having to do the laundry or doing school pickup like I did before because I really wasn't accustomed to it because my kids were much younger. I don't have the anxiety going into it and I'm already prepared and already know it works. I'm fine with it. I'm just gonna go back to doing it, that's all. Yeah, it doesn't really hinder my day other than I have to stop what I'm doing and get in my car. And now I don't have to like stay up later and do laundry later while I'm trying to lie down.

Yeah. So it sounds like you have a well oiled machine going on here. But talk a little bit about caring for yourself and how you fit that in. And I think for me at least, that's always a process of fitting that in. I feel like I still kind of put that last on the list sometimes, but so tell me how that. How you work in caring for yourself. And we talked a little bit about this before we started recording, but I was just Listening to a podcast of one of my coaches, and she was talking about protecting the. The asset that. That we, as the CEO and as the mom, are the assets in our home. Right. And so. And our brain and our body are in taking care of that is part of preserving and growing our asset. Right?

Yes.

And so talk about how you do that.

So I have been through the ringer for the past few years, trying to really take back control of my life. My marriage was. It's very complicated and tumultuous, and I didn't have much control. I. I controlled overly, tried to control everything because it was me. I needed predictability because of the unpredictability of my environment. And so I guess my curse could be someone else's gain. And that's why I have to think six steps ahead. That's why I have to be super intentional with how I get things done. Because when something unpredictable would happen, it couldn't impact everything else. Because just because something's happening that you didn't expect doesn't mean that food, dinner, still has to happen. Homework has to happen. Kids still have their lives, and consistency is key for kids and keeping it as predictable for them. Because when they were also living in an unpredictable environment, you try to keep them as protected as you can by taking the hit. But when you take those hits, you're at an emotional release for kids and there's no room. And throughout that process, I became very depressed. When I finally figured out what was exactly going on, I was not. When you're in the. It's hard to see the frame when you're in the picture. And so when you get educated about really what's happening, when you think this is happening, you're like, oh, no, no, no. This is actually what's happening to you. You're like, huh? Because that's how. That's our environment. It's our normal. It's how we're conditioned. And so getting out of the space and learning really what was going on or how I was handling things was not normal. It was like overkill. But that was my survival mode.

Mm.

And when you are in survival mode all the time, you can get really run down sometimes. And that happened. I gave up. I couldn't get off the couch. I was very depressed. I had no energy. But I also wasn't sleeping. And sleeping is literally the. There's a reason why people get sleep deprived as a. As a way of torture.

Yeah.

People up for long periods of time to get information because it's torture.

They.

You go nuts, you Go crazy. You don't think well and straight. And I would go probably four or five days sometimes without sleeping. You can't function as a human being. You think you are, but you're not at your best level. I'm a mom of three, having to make sure things are in order. And so sleep is a huge thing. I just started down. I just downloaded the sleep app because I'm trying to become a morning person, and I'm a late owl. I am a night owl. Been like that my whole life. I cannot seem to wind down before 10:30. But that's a problem when you have to get up at 6 or if you want to work out at 5 in the morning. It's not a lot of time to function. And I don't nap in the middle of the day. I don't have that. You know, it's just not. Doesn't fit.

Yeah.

And so I'm trying to make a shift. To do all the right things takes time. But when I figured out the sleeping thing, it's like, okay, I need to make sure that I'm intentional. And I would set an alarm on my phone and say, go to bed. Wind down. Time to shut it down. Don't get sucked into a movie or whatever. It's time for you to go to bed. I do sleep. I was doing sleep stories with the Calm app. It's like, sleep. It's bedtime stories for adults. It's the most amazing thing ever. It sounds stupid. When I got the concept, I was like, I'm going to have someone read to me. Oh, my gosh. You make it three minutes in there, you are out, and you have the best night's sleep. I swear to it. Even my oldest is now doing it, and he loves it. It's great. And it works great for kids. Kids stories, but not a plug. Just letting you know there's a reason why bedtime stories work for kids. We're people too. We have to calm our system and our nervous. So little by little, I've noticed that, like, I'm going to start working out again. I used to be an athlete. My back. I have back issues, and my back was hurting. And that was because I wasn't working out and staying fit to keep my core strong because I have all this equipment in there. I'm like part robot, as my kids call me. And so I knew if I was in pain and if I was tired and I was sleepy, you have to recognize that you can't deliver the best way for everyone else. You can't show up. If you can't show up for you and you don't feel, at least I'm gonna say 85% because how are we? We're never ever 100% but feeling good enough to feel like you can serve everyone. You have to serve yourself. And it's not selfish. It's not. You have to keep. Like I like to work out three to four times a week. If I don't, I don't feel accomplished and I feel down on myself. But I also have been able to grow as a person. Like, you know what, it's not going to set me up. I just need to make sure that I do it really well next week and don't repeat it and make it a habit where I start giving that up again. And remind yourself how it felt before. Because if you remind yourself of how things were, even if it's a picture, a statement, a quote, it at least will take you back and remind you why you are doing it for you again. And if you stay with that mindset, it's harder for you to give it up because you as moms were like okay, okay, okay. And I think it's for everyone. We always feel selfish about putting us first. Can't show up and think about all of the problems that come from you half assing it, like your attitude. So then you, your spouse then gets on you and is upset with you because of your tone. So now you have an argument with him or her and then you're snapping on your kids, now your kids are crying and now you have a whole another crisis that can all be alleviated if you were in your best self and you are able to make the best decisions. Like maybe I shouldn't have said that, I should have taking a breath, but I'm so tired because I didn't do the thing or I'm in a bad mood. So remembering that, it's like a domino effect. And so it starts with you. It starts with how you are reacting and dealing and how everything else is going to wind up. And you have to decide if you're going to make it easier on yourself or harder on yourself and not feel guilty. Because you can say, well, if I don't do this, then this could happen and I'm going to feel real bad and you can think about all the things that could happen if you don't and switch it, I'll do it, it's fine, I don't need it today. And learn, I guess is the best way. It's just keeping it as an appointment on your calendar too. Right. You have those non negotiables. Make that a standing appointment. Like you don't miss doctor's appointments. It's really hard to get it in. Right. Like you, you know, I need to make an appointment. We don't have any availability for six months. Okay. And so when that six months comes and you're like, that took me six months. I am not missing it. Sorry, it's a non negotiable. I have to go. You make arrangements ahead of time. Same thing for what you want to do. And whether that's a daily task or if that's like Thursdays are date nights, that's it. Or every other Thursday, you set it and you make arrangements and that's it. And you hold it. You hold that space and you just say, sorry, I'm busy. Sorry, I'm busy. Sorry, I'm busy. Because that's your time or whatever. And you hold it like a doctor's appointment. Like, it took me six months to get here in a space where I can feel like I can put myself first. That's my appointment.

Yeah.

Because what happens, you know, you can cancel. Well, it's another six months. Sorry. And so now you're waiting and all that work you've done just gets postponed or, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. And I love that idea of thinking about how great it's gonna feel when you're done with the workout or, you know, when you've made that time for yourself rather than beating yourself up for, you know, not wanting to do it ahead of time or, you know, that.

It'S hard or whatever, we don't feel like doing it. I. Yeah, that's where the five minute rule comes in. That's what we talk about in health and wellness too. But it's really with anything. Even if you don't feel like doing it or if you are really sore and you don't want to work out. Listen to your body kind of thing. Or it can go to many different levels.

Yeah.

The five minute rule where do it for five minutes, stop and think. Okay, is this making me feel better or is this just like, I'm just not into it today. It's not fulfilling me. I don't want to do it. I need to stop. And you analyze most of the time, five minutes. And you're like, okay, I'm getting the ball rolling. Okay, I'm good. I'm glad that I did it. Maybe you won't do it for as long because you don't have the time that day, but at least you're doing a little bit and you're keeping the promise to yourself and you just, you know, you're just doing it for a shorter amount of time. But the five minute roll where you just like, like cooking, you know, you don't like to cook, but you know you have to. Once you're getting it rolling, you're like, all right, it's smelling good, it's looking good. I'm going to be done soon. And it just kind of keeps you going. So the five minute, give it five minutes.

I love that. Yeah.

And know it's okay to stop. No, it's okay to say, yeah, this dish is not going well. Where's the pizza? Like, I'm ordering a pizza. You didn't fail. It's just you were seeing where your threshold is. We all have our, our threshold. And if you are reaching capacity, know when you're going to reach the capacity and you're just like, yeah, I'm not there. This is just not working. I'm just going to order pizza. Guess what? I just eat a little later today. But at least you tried. And you are now taking responsibility for the decision you're making instead of making the excuse.

Yeah.

On why you didn't, you know, saying, I did it because.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Well, this has been such a great conversation. I know it's going to be so helpful for all of our fellow women entrepreneurs that are listening and because you have so much wisdom. I mean, you're living this every day like, you know the, the wisdom that you've shared with us today. So I really appreciate that. And if you would please just share with all of us how we can keep in touch with you and what you have going on that we can be part of, I would love that.

Sure. I can be found@cahaosandcookies.com keeping moms from crumbling is what the tagline is. Super like a good alliteration. It's play Onward, Instagram and Facebook. I'm at the Heather Greco and I also have at Chaos and cookies on TikTok. That's more fun stuff. But, you know, my website's where you can. I have a podcast called Chaos and Cookies Podcast and I tap in more into this. I have great guests as well. There's also a book that just came out that expands upon the systems I was talking to about, like the clothing. There's two other ones for cooking and clutter. And it's just super easy things that you can do. It's no problem. Parenting book you can find it Online, digitally, but there's a lot of great authors in there. I just did it. One chapter that has a lot of resources for working parents, parents with different age groups. And so you can find me there. And it's exciting. And then if you wanted to pick up a free version of my Pocket Playbook, it's basically like a very small, very important information for your home, where it kind of gets you started on thinking about ahead of time and planning ahead, whether that be for your house, your business. There's a whole business section for the Chaos control system I have, which is like a manual for your home and it's for your business and it has some tools in there if you're going through a divorce and trying to get organized. So that's all there at the website. Awesome.

Thank you so much, Heather. It's been so great to chat with you and we'll look forward to seeing you again soon.

Yes, thank you for having me.

If you like this podcast, then you have got to sign up for my free on demand video training. Grow your sales doing what you love. Where I teach you in depth. My simple process that you can implement right away to harness your mindset and your skills to grow your sales to whatever level you want. So go grab that now. The link is in the show notes and I'll see you next time.